6
Blaine's mouth hung open like fish out of water, the only coherent thought processing in his head being: No no no no no no no!
He'd stopped breathing the moment he spotted his ex and son enter the coffee shop, and now his face had paled to an uneasy shade of green. He had also developed a vice-like grip on Kurt's hands where they still lay intertwined on the table.
"Blaine?" Kurt questioned from across the table. "Are you okay?" He tried to shift his numbing hands a bit, but Blaine remained unresponsive.
Blaine could only watch in abject horror as Oliver began turning his little head to observe his surroundings over Sebastian's shoulder. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears when the little boy's gaze scanned over the tables of customers and then, as if in slow motion, finally came to rest on him.
An enormous smile broke out on the toddler's face when he spotted his daddy across the shop. He immediately clapped his little hands in delight and began to squirm in Sebastian's arms, obviously trying to escape his grasp and run to his other father.
In any other circumstance, Blaine would have found the action adorable and even downright heart-melting. But right then, for the first time in his life, he really just wished Ollie would ignore him and keep clinging to Sebastian until he got his coffee and they left peacefully.
He continued to stare at the dooming action playing out before him. Oliver made his telltale grabby-hand gesture toward Blaine, and all Blaine could do was sit and watch Sebastian's gaze follow the action and land right on him. A touch of shock tinted the green eyes as surprised recognition flooded the older boy's expression.
Then Blaine felt a slight tug as Kurt pulled one of his hands free from his grasp on them. The next thing to penetrate his consciousness was the pale hand waving in front of his face.
"Earth to Blaine?" Kurt's voice questioned once more.
He finally blinked and allowed himself to look back at the boy across from him.
"Hi there," Kurt said with a small laugh, having finally won back his date's attention. "What are you staring at?" Then he turned in his chair to look in the direction Blaine had been gawking.
Dreading what he'd see, but feeling totally powerless to stop it, Blaine also allowed his eyes to return to where they'd been glued. He inhaled sharply when he was greeted with the sight of Sebastian's eyes looking from him down to where the other pair of Blaine and Kurt's hands was still clasped on the table. The menacing expression that immediately took over his ex's face sent a chill down Blaine's spine. He quickly dropped his grip on Kurt's hand, causing the other boy to turn back to him with a questioning, almost hurt look.
Sebastian then lowered the now giddy Oliver to the ground, clearly in order to let him make a run for his daddy.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked Blaine, tone matching his confused expression.
Blaine wanted to blurt it all out right then and there, in the split-second they still had before all of his secrets literally came right up to them and introduced themselves; but in that moment, he felt so shocked, so bewildered, and so scared that he thought that if he even opened his mouth to speak, he would end up blowing chunks all over the table.
Then the next sensation he registered was a little ball of excited energy plowing into his legs. Ollie wrapped his little arms around Blaine's knees in a tight hug.
A surprised, but amused smile actually took over Kurt's face when he saw the toddler suddenly clinging to Blaine. "Oh! Who is this?" he asked.
Before Blaine could utter a single syllable, Oliver decided to speak up first.
"Dada!" the little boy proclaimed excitedly as he proceeded to try to pull himself up into Blaine's lap.
The smile was immediately erased from Kurt's face and replaced with one of sheer bewilderment. His eyes glanced back and forth between Blaine and the little boy, growing wide with confusion.
"Dadaaa, up!" Oliver demanded, laughing joyously as he pawed at Blaine's legs.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked, voice softened in clear astonishment.
Finding himself unable to meet the burning blue eyes across from him, Blaine opted for reaching down and gathering the struggling Ollie into his lap. "Hey, Buddy," Blaine managed to say in the most upbeat tone he could muster for his son.
The little boy threw his arms around his daddy's neck and held on tight, and Blaine couldn't help but return the embrace. It was a moment of comfort right before what he knew was about to become a giant, giant clusterfuck.
"Well, well, well," Sebastian's voice, sounding fully charged with extra cockiness, chimed in when he approached the table. He placed his hands in his coat pockets and glanced smugly back and forth between Blaine and Kurt. "What do we have here?"
"Sebastian…" Blaine began, feeling very hot under the scrutiny of his ex and the questioning stare of his date. "What are you doing here?"
Sebastian raised his eyebrows down at Blaine. "Moi?" he asked innocently, placing a hand to his own chest. "I was actually running early, so Ollie and I thought we'd stop by and grab some coffee before we headed over to your house." Sebastian then turned to glare at Kurt. "I don't believe I've been introduced to your friend here, Blaine."
Blaine gulped again, still hugging Ollie tightly to his chest, before he dared to look back at Kurt. The other boy glanced between Blaine and Sebastian before his eyes fell back on the curly haired toddler cuddled against his date. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyebrows were pulled into a skeptical slant. Blaine could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tried to put the pieces of the scenario playing out before him together.
"Oh, um, this is Kurt. He's knew at Dalton," Blaine said carefully, unsure how volatile Sebastian might become, especially since he'd clearly seen them holding hands just a moment ago.
"I see," was all Sebastian said, but his menacing eyes raking up and down Kurt's seated form clearly betrayed the hostility he was holding back.
Kurt finally spoke up again. "Blaine, what is going on?" he repeated his question from a minute before; his voice sounded scared of the answer he might get.
Blaine opened his mouth to answer, but once again, his son beat him to the punch.
"Dada nose!" Ollie exclaimed as he reached up to grab at Blaine's nose.
"Yes, Ollie. That's my nose," he said quickly to placate the boy.
"Why does he keep calling you that?" Kurt asked, his voice becoming more insistent and his eyes becoming more desperate.
"Oh, this is spectacular," Sebastian commented smugly, crossing his arms and smirking when he saw Kurt's shock.
Blaine looked back at the flustered, imploring sea of blue and immediately knew he was losing him. It wouldn't matter what he said at this point, Kurt could clearly see what was going on here. He had been caught in the biggest, stupidest, most cowardly lie of his life and there was no way that this wonderful, amazing, strong person would stick around one more minute. Right before he was about to be honest, it all came crashing down. It was no use holding anything back now.
"Kurt," he began, his voice sounding smaller than he'd expected, "this is Oliver." He turned the toddler in his lap so he was facing Kurt. "My son."
Kurt was silent for a long moment. He simply looked back and forth between Blaine and Oliver, eyes growing wider with each pass. Finally, he leant back in his chair and let out a long breath. "Your son," he repeated. It was a statement of fact, no longer a question at all.
"Our son," Sebastian interjected. Blaine looked up to see Sebastian snake forward toward Kurt, hand outstretched and condescending smile firmly in place. "I'm Sebastian Smythe," he said, offering the hand to a dubious Kurt. "And I'm Blaine's fiancé."
"Sebastian!" Blaine practically shouted. He hurriedly turned to Kurt, who was now wearing an expression like someone had just run over his puppy with their car, backed up, and run over it again.
"Kurt," Blaine implored, silently begging the other boy to look at him. "He is not my fiancé."
He heard Sebastian scoff.
When Kurt did look back to him, Blaine could see that same guard up that he'd worn when he talked about his bully. He stared at Blaine for a moment with so much intensity that Blaine stopped breathing. His once sparkling eyes looked shielded and stagnant, holding back unshed tears. He shook his head almost imperceptibly at Blaine. The tiny, disappointed gesture seemed to communicate everything he needed to say.
Blaine's heart dropped.
Then Kurt tore his gaze away. He turned back to Sebastian and took the proffered hand. "I'm Kurt Hummel," he said firmly as he shook Sebastian's hand, his voice seeming to have found a new vigor. "And I'm leaving."
Kurt dropped Sebastian's hand and stood up. He gathered his coat from his chair and stalked off toward the door; he did not look back at Blaine.
Blaine sat in awed silence for a moment, simply staring at Kurt's back as he left the shop. It felt like his heart was sitting on top of his stomach and he realized then that he had never felt so low in his life. Not even when he'd had to tell his father he was pregnant. At least then, he hadn't lied to anyone. But today, there he'd been, with this beautiful, honest, trusting boy in front of him, holding his hand and looking at him like he was the best thing he'd ever beheld, and he'd let him down. He'd wiped that hopefulness and that light and that wonderful spark right off his face with his stupid hesitancy and his stupid fear of being judged. He knew now that Kurt wouldn't have judged him. Not with everything he'd been through himself. He would never.
I can't let him go. The thought snapped in Blaine's mind as he watched the door to the shop close behind Kurt and then he knew. He knew as surely as he knew his name that he could not let him leave without trying to fix this. He couldn't hesitate again.
"Well, that was rude," Sebastian's voice said snidely once Kurt had disappeared. He turned to look at Blaine with a satisfied expression.
Knowing he couldn't waste another second, Blaine grabbed Oliver and stood. "Here, take him," he said, holding his son out to Sebastian.
"Why? Where are you…"
"Will you just take him!" Blaine could feel the slight pressure of panicked tears pressing behind his eyes. "Please."
Sebastian's expression softened at the desperate request. "Fine," he replied, reaching out and taking Oliver back from his ex. "But I don't know what good it will do at this poi…"
"Sebastian," Blaine interrupted, barely keeping his cool as he thought about Kurt getting farther and farther away with each passing second. "Not. Now."
The older boy's mouth closed and his eyes narrowed as he watched Blaine run toward the door of the shop and out.
Blaine scanned the parking lot. His pulse quickened with panic when he didn't spot Kurt anywhere. His breaths were coming in shallow and sporadic. He ran a hand through his hair as he turned, searching in every direction. His heart jumped when he saw the retreating figure in a black pea coat headed down the alley next to the building.
"Kurt!" he called, immediately running after him. He rounded the corner just in time to see Kurt glance over his shoulder, blue eyes glinting with what had to be anger. Courage, he reminded himself. Courage, for real this time.
"Kurt, wait! Please! I was about to tell you!"
He ran after him down the alley until he was close enough to touch him. Blaine reached an arm out to grab Kurt's shoulder, but retracted it quickly when Kurt suddenly turned to face him. Blaine actually gasped at the anger he saw written all over his face.
"What is this? Some kind of sick joke?" he shouted.
"What? No, Kurt, I was seriously just about to tell you…"
"Some kind of twisted way to mess with the new kid? Get him to fall for a guy with a kid and a fiancé and then sit back and have a good laugh when he finally figures it out?"
"Kurt, no. It's not like that. I swear!" Blaine pleaded, feeling the imminent tears beginning to push harder at the back of his eyes.
"All the guys were in on it, weren't they? That's why they would always change the subject when I tried to ask about you." Kurt looked at Blaine and shook his head in the same disappointed way as before. "I really thought things could be different for me here. But I guess assholes are everywhere, aren't they? God, I am so stupid."
He moved to walk away again, but this time Blaine stepped forward and grabbed his arm, making him turn back.
"Please just listen to me for a second."
"You said that picture on your phone was your nephew."
"I know I did. And it was the single stupidest thing I've ever told anyone. Please, let me try to explain?"
Kurt crossed his arms and raised an expectant eyebrow at Blaine. The expression clearly said this had better be good, and Blaine thought that in any other circumstance, the sass would have been kind of adorable. But right there and then, he knew he had a lot of explaining to do, and he didn't intend on letting Kurt go until he'd told him everything. He owed him that much.
"Kurt, please, believe me when I say that it was never my intention to hurt you."
Kurt huffed at that, but his expression remained expectant.
"When we met that night, and we got to talking, I just… I felt like we clicked, you know? We have so much in common and you were so nice and funny and accepting that you made me forget myself for a while. For the first time in so long, I wasn't the 'guy with the baby.' I was just Blaine. And it felt amazing."
"So you thought you'd take advantage of that and lie to me?"
"No, I just… I just wanted that feeling to last for a little bit longer. I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't want to scare you away before I even got my chance."
Kurt looked pensive. His blue eyes bored into Blaine's hazel ones as if he was searching for something. After a moment of loaded silence, the intensity in his expression finally wavered. When he spoke, his voice was quieter, more subdued and free from the angry venom that had been there before.
"You wouldn't have scared me away," he practically whispered.
Blaine allowed the tiniest, relieved half-smile to come onto his lips. Kurt was listening. He was listening and not trying to run away anymore. This was good.
"I know that now," he replied honestly. "I was just too scared before. I mean, most guys our age wouldn't stick around for a second once a baby gets thrown into the equation."
Kurt shook his head quickly. "I'm not most guys."
"Of course you're not." Blaine moved forward and made a grab for Kurt's hand, missing the warm security of feeling it in his. But Kurt flinched back at the action, denying Blaine the comfort. Blaine lowered his head and looked at the ground. "Sorry," he mumbled to his shoes. "That was dumb of me."
"Yeah, well, apparently you're on a roll."
Blaine flinched at the comment, but knew he deserved it.
"Yeah, I guess so. Kurt, you have every right to be angry at me right now," he began, daring to raise his eyes up to Kurt's again. "I screwed up. I got scared and I did the cowardly thing. I even told the guys not to tell you about Oliver because I was so scared you'd never look my way again."
Kurt opened his mouth to say something at that, but Blaine cut him short.
"Please don't be angry with them. It's all my fault. They even told me to tell you and I didn't listen. They were just being good friends, that's all."
Kurt looked skeptical. "You got an entire glee club to lie to me?"
Blaine scrambled. "Not to lie, exactly… just not to bring up certain things."
Kurt rolled his eyes at that. "God, Blaine. Where does it end with you? You think it's okay to lead people on with all your dapper charm and just leave everything important at the door? To get all your friends to lie too? I just got done telling you the details of the most traumatizing, humiliating event of my life and you… you just…" Kurt sighed and ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair.
"How do you ever expect to establish any kind of normal relationship with anyone if you can't even be honest about something as basic and as significant as your own child?"
"I know. I realize that. And that's why I was planning on telling you all of it today. You heard me in there. I was just about to tell you everything before they came in. Because I realized I liked you way too much to cover it up anymore."
Kurt's expression softened further at that.
Blaine took it as a good sign and continued, dropping his voice to a calm, kind tone. "I respect you too much to ever lie to you again. I promise."
The other boy was quiet again. He looked at Blaine, studying his sorry expression as if analyzing it, as if making a judgment. Blaine just stood still through the scrutiny, silently praying that Kurt would find something worthwhile: some redeeming quality that would allow him another chance to try and do things right.
Finally, after a moment that felt like forever, Kurt spoke again.
"How old is he?" the taller boy asked.
Blaine's eyebrows furrowed in surprise, not expecting that to be the question that Kurt would ask in that moment. "Oh, um, eighteen months," he replied.
Kurt gave a quick nod and Blaine could see the gears in his head turning again.
"Sixteen," he said in response to Kurt's silent question. "I had him when I was sixteen. Beginning of junior year."
Kurt's eyes widened a bit before he spoke again. "So, you are a carrier then?"
Blaine nodded. "Yes."
"Huh," Kurt uttered. "Well that explains the outburst about male pregnancy earlier."
"Yeah," Blaine conceded, feeling a bit ashamed of the reminder of the emotional outlash.
"And Mr. Ralph-Lauren-Model-Wannabe in there is the other father?" he asked, jerking his thumb toward the building where Sebastian was presumably still inside with Oliver.
Blaine wanted to laugh at the description, but knew this wasn't the time. "Yes. He was my boyfriend at Dalton. He goes to OSU now," he answered simply. "But we're not together," he added in a rush. "He was my fiancé for a while. Because our parents wanted it. But he's not anymore. I swear. He just takes Ollie every other weekend."
Kurt let out a humorless laugh. "Well he seemed pretty convinced you two were together."
Blaine sighed. "It's complicated."
Kurt put on an ironic smile. "I bet."
"Kurt, I've had a… a complicated history. But I promise you that I'm one hundred percent single. Sebastian… well he just… he just gets…"
"Jealous," Kurt finished for him, putting on a knowing smirk.
"Yeah. I guess so."
Kurt nodded his head once more and re-crossed his arms. Another silence took over the alley as the two boys stood and let the situation process. After a while, Blaine glanced up at Kurt to find him staring at the ground, so deep in concentration that he looked like he could have been contemplating a solution to world hunger. Blaine simply slipped his hands in his jean pockets and looked away again, feeling like he really shouldn't interrupt.
A cold breeze whipped down the alley and Blaine shivered against the chill. Only then did it occur to him that he'd left Joehouse without putting his coat back on, and his thin sweater was doing little to shield him from the harsh February air. He brought his hands back out of his pockets and rubbed them together.
"You're cold," Kurt suddenly commented.
"Hmm? No, I'm fine," Blaine replied, dropping his freezing hands back down to his sides.
The smallest of subtle smiles crept up on Kurt's face and it flooded Blaine's mind with hope. For the first time since Sebastian and Ollie had entered the shop, he thought that maybe not all was lost.
"You are," Kurt retorted. "You should go inside. Warm up. Plus, there's a certain toddler in there that seemed pretty excited to see you."
Blaine let out a small sigh. "Yeah, I guess. But… are we… I mean, are you okay?"
"I'll be fine. I always am."
Blaine nodded and slid his hands back in pockets. "Okay. Good. That's really good," he rambled. He took a breath before he let himself continue. "Kurt, I am so, so sorry. Please believe me when I say that."
"I believe you," he answered simply, easily, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Blaine nodded again and bit his lip. He really didn't know how to say what he wanted to know next, but he knew he had to say it. "I hope you don't hate me," he blurted. "I really hope you don't hate me because I really, really love talking to you and I don't know if I can give it up now."
Kurt's lips turned up into another tiny smile.
"And I hope you know that I only ever lied because I've never liked anyone so much so quickly in my life, and I didn't want to lose you." Blaine felt his cheeks flush as soon as the words were said. He knew they were embarrassing. He knew they made him vulnerable, but he knew he needed to get them out. "I hope you'll give me another chance some day. I understand if you don't, but just… I just wanted you to know that."
Kurt stared at him, gears turning in his head once more. He didn't say anything for yet another silent moment. The silence this time seemed to reverberate off the walls of the alley and press in Blaine's ears. He thought his heart might pound right out of his chest if Kurt didn't say something soon.
Kurt finally let out a sigh. "I have to think, okay? I… I like you too, but I just have to think. I already have a lot going on and this is just… it's a lot."
Blaine nodded his understanding, although a feeling like a hundred pound weight settled on his chest. "I'm sorry, Kurt," he said again, not knowing what else there was to say.
"I know you are. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk, okay?"
"Okay," Blaine said softly, not really wanting to accept that vague assurance but knowing he didn't really have a choice.
The tiny smile reappeared on the taller boy's lips. He took a step backward down the alley, beginning his walk back to Dalton's campus. His eyes lingered on Blaine for just a moment longer. "You have a really adorable son, Blaine," he said before he turned around and began walking away.
Blaine was in a sort of daze. He stood and watched Kurt go until he turned the corner and was out of sight. Then he stood still for a while longer, trying to let everything that had just happened sink into his brain.
Kurt knew. Kurt knew, and although it didn't seem like he totally hated Blaine for lying, it was obvious that their dynamic had changed. Now Kurt saw him as Teenage-Dad Blaine Anderson, just like the rest of the world. Blaine hoped that that didn't mean he'd just lost him forever.
After a while, Blaine wasn't sure exactly how long it was, he finally registered the sharp, nipping pain in his ears that told him it was way too cold to still be standing there in the vacant alley.
With one last, long, emptying sigh, Blaine looked away from where Kurt had just left and turned to head back toward Joehouse. There was nothing else to be done about Kurt right now. It was time to face Sebastian.
Blaine entered the shop to find Sebastian occupying the table he and Kurt had left. He was nursing a large coffee in a to-go cup and staring blankly at the floor. Ollie was perched in one of the shop's wooden highchairs that had been pulled up to the table. The little boy was sipping happily on a Sippy cup of chocolate milk.
Sebastian looked up when Blaine approached. Blaine just made a beeline straight for Ollie and lifted his son out of the highchair. Ollie giggled in delight when his daddy picked him up and pulled him into a hug.
Blaine squeezed Ollie to his chest, finally able to enjoy the wonderful sensation of having his son back in his arms. He inhaled the familiar scent of Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo and for just a moment, he was almost able to forget the horrible sequence of events and unexpected revelations that had just taken place.
"I missed you so much, Ollie Golly," he whispered into his son's hair.
"Miss-soo," the little boy answered while trying to maneuver his Sippy cup back to his mouth over Blaine's shoulder.
"He cried this morning because he wanted you to feed him breakfast," Sebastian remarked from his seated position. His expression was guarded and careful as he regarded Blaine. He took a long sip of coffee, but maintained his eye contact with Blaine over the top of the cup.
"Really?" Blaine responded as calmly as he could manage, although he really was on edge. He'd expected Sebastian to go into some kind of jealous tirade as soon as he'd come back into the shop, but he hadn't. And somehow, this calm, evasive Sebastian seemed even scarier.
Sebastian nodded. "Apparently, 'Dada better,'" he added bitterly.
Blaine stared back at him for a second, not knowing what to make of this conversation. Was Sebastian really just going to ignore the fact that he'd been holding hands with another guy just minutes before?
Subtlety, Blaine reminded himself. The real issue will present itself soon enough.
"Well, don't take it personally. He's a baby. He's just more used to me." Blaine said, trying to keep the cautious edge out of his voice.
Sebastian put his coffee back on the table with perhaps a bit more force than was necessary. "Oh, sure," he said through tight lips. "Because Daddy is just perfect, right? Daddy can do no wrong. Yeah, right."
Yep. There it is.
Blaine sighed, giving up on a civil conversation and hoping he could just cut to the chase behind Sebastian's issue. He really was pretty emotionally drained by this point and didn't think he could take any more beating around the bush.
"Sebastian, why don't you just tell me what's the matter, huh?" he asked, although he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the real answer.
"What's the matter? What's the matter, Blaine?" His green eyes looked up at Blaine incredulously. "I just came in here and found you holding hands with some guy who's eye-fucking the shit out of you. Is this what you do every other weekend before I bring Ollie back to you? Whore around coffee shops with randos?"
The words felt like a slap in the face. Blaine blinked several times in confused shock before he was able to form words again.
"E-excuse me?" he said disbelievingly.
Sebastian's menacing eyes just bore into him from where he sat.
Anger built up in Blaine's chest like pressure beneath a volcano.
"Whore around, Sebastian? Really? That's what you think I do?"
"I just call them like I see them." The older boy crossed his arms, expression scathing.
Blaine's mouth hung open in shock for what must have been the third or forth time that day. He just could not honestly believe that Sebastian had the nerve to judge him about how he spent his time or whom he spent it with. And to insinuate he was being promiscuous? Wasn't it just two days ago that Blaine had called Sebastian out again for a hickey on his neck?
"So, this Colt," Sebastian started again, voice still eerily calm. "How far's it gone?"
Blaine still just stared, still disbelieving.
"Really. I want to know what I'm dealing with here," Sebastian continued. "Like, kissing? Hand stuff? You're not actually fucking him, are you?"
The younger teen's eyebrows shot up at the blunt question. It took everything he had to remember he had Ollie in his arms, so he probably shouldn't rip Sebastian's head from his body right then and there for asking such a thing.
"It's Kurt. And, not that it is any of your business at all," Blaine began, struggling to keep the frustration and anger from bleeding into his words too much. He knew that Ollie was sensitive to his tones and didn't want to scare him. "But that was our first date. And it also might have been our last, so you can just calm down."
Blaine glared at his ex as he spoke, honestly surprised with himself for how calm he was managing to keep his voice, but hoping his true feelings of disgust were being communicated though his stare.
Sebastian's smirk returned. "Oh, I see," he said, leaning forward a bit in his chair. "Pretty boy didn't like it when he found out that you're not as innocent as your little schoolboy guise would suggest." The smirk grew even more. "Wasn't too keen on the idea that you've obviously already been around the block already, huh?"
Blaine clenched his jaw and continued to glare. He had gone through more than his fair share of having people judge him for having a baby so young. It was something he'd honestly just come to expect from strangers. People calling him irresponsible, reckless, or even a gold-digger or a slut in some cases. But he never, ever expected to have all that turned back around on him by his baby's other father.
He took a deep breath through his nose, trying to filter the rage and betrayal he felt pumping through his system. He was fairly certain that had not already been so emotionally drained from his discussion with Kurt, tears would have been falling freely down his face by this point. But as it was, Blaine just closed his eyes and decided to concentrate on ending this conversation before it got really, really ugly.
"You know what, Sebastian?" he asked, daring to meet the conceited green gaze again. He let out a sigh, though, when he realized it was a lost cause. Sebastian would hold onto this absurd need to control him forever, probably. And he had just been reminded at how adept his ex had become at putting him down. At kicking him where it counts emotionally. So in the end, Blaine knew it just didn't matter what he said in his own defense. Sebastian would spin it. He would believe what he wanted to believe.
"Never mind," Blaine continued. "You never hear what I have to say anyway."
Sebastian's smirk faded. To Blaine's surprise, he even looked a little… remorseful?
Blaine just rolled his eyes though. Then he hiked Ollie up a little bit higher on his hip. "Let's go, Ollie," he said to his son. "Say bye-bye to Papa."
Sebastian scoffed. "You're just gonna leave, then?"
Blaine merely nodded. "I don't have to stand here and justify myself to you." He reached out to the chair he'd abandoned earlier when he went after Kurt and picked up his coat. Then he snatched the strap of the baby bag, which Sebastian had brought into the shop with him, from the back of his chair. "I'm taking him home," he stated. Then he turned to go, not even honestly caring that Ollie hadn't gotten a proper goodbye from his Papa.
Sebastian threw his head back and let out a groan of obvious exasperation.
Blaine was all the way out into the parking lot and to his car when he heard Sebastian's voice behind him.
"Blaine, wait," he said in what came off as a surprisingly pleading voice.
Blaine had half a mind to just ignore him, but really there was nowhere to go and he still had to strap Ollie into the seat, so he conceded. "What?" he asked without turning around. He opened the back door of his Subaru and set Ollie in his seat as he waited for Sebastian's reply.
"I… I guess I didn't mean it, okay?"
Blaine's eyebrow quirked. That was not what he was expecting to hear. He straightened up and turned back toward Sebastian, intrigued.
"I didn't mean to imply anything about you having a baby. Obviously, I'm in the same boat with you on that, so I'm sorry for going there. That was low."
Blaine crossed his arms as he listened, immensely surprised that Sebastian would attempt to apologize to him for anything.
"I just saw you holding that guy's hand and… and you were here of all places and I guess I just snapped. Just why did you have to bring him here?"
"Here?" Blaine reiterated, not sure what Sebastian was getting at.
His ex looked surprised. "C'mon, Blaine. Joehouse? Every Thursday after Warblers?"
Blaine frowned. Of course. Now that Sebastian mentioned it, he recalled their countless Thursday coffee dates perfectly. He just never expected that Sebastian would. Or that he would still care so much about them.
Blaine's head spun in thought for a moment, and when he didn't answer, Sebastian immediately recoiled from his moment of vulnerability.
"Never mind. It's nothing. Apparently, it means absolutely nothing anymore," he said tersely.
"Sebastian," Blaine began.
"No," the taller boy cut him off. "Forget it. Do whatever the hell you want, Blaine."
Now it was Blaine's turn to let out the exasperated groan. "I don't understand what the big deal is. You go on dates all the time and I don't give you any crap. But I go on my very first one since you and you get to give me some kind of huge guilt trip?"
"I said forget it, Blaine," he said, his tone becoming more severe. Then he moved toward Blaine's open car door and started strapping Ollie into his seat. "But for the record, I don't really go on dates. It's always just… well, you know."
Blaine just stared at Sebastian's back. He opened his mouth twice to speak before words actually came. "Oh," he managed to articulate. "Why?"
Yes, it was true that Blaine had no desire at all anymore to be with his ex-fiancé. But he wasn't blind. It was obvious that Sebastian was a good-looking guy who clearly didn't have any trouble with picking up men. None of them would know right away how conniving or degrading he could sometimes be, so why on earth wouldn't he have tried to start dating someone knew in the past year and a half? Blaine had always just assumed that the reason Sebastian almost never came back up to Westerville was because he was booked solid with dates practically every night.
Sebastian didn't respond. He just murmured something to Ollie in French before kissing him on his forehead. Then he straightened back up and shut the car door.
"I have to get going back to campus," he said. "I have an Economics test to study for."
Blaine narrowed his eyes slightly, but decided not call his ex out on the avoidance of the question. Honestly, he was ready to end this encounter and just get the hell away from this place for the day.
"Okay," he answered simply.
Sebastian turned and started to walk toward his Porsche parked a few spots away.
As his ex strolled away, Blaine felt compelled to yell after him. He felt like Sebastian really needed to hear this, although he couldn't pinpoint exactly why.
"I like Kurt, Sebastian," he said matter-of-factly.
Sebastian stopped walking, but didn't turn around.
"And he might never want to talk to me again, but I'm gonna keep trying. I just… I really like him. And I feel like you should know that," Blaine added.
Blaine watched from behind as the older boy dipped his head slowly. He noticed the way Sebastian clenched his fists and a small pang of fear rose in his chest at the gesture, but then the Sebastian's hands relaxed and he turned around again.
His expression was blank at first. He just looked at Blaine and nodded again. Then his eyes trailed slowly up and down his ex's body and a tiny smirk came back to his face.
"I still love that sweater on you, Bee," he said. Then he turned back toward his car and got in. He paused before he closed his door and leaned his head back out. "Tell your dad I'm sorry for not stopping by the house," he said over the door. Then he closed it and started the engine. Within a matter of moments, he was gone.
Blaine shook his head as he watched the black SUV disappear down the street. Damn Sebastian and his cryptic messages. 'I still love that sweater on you'? What in the hell was that supposed to mean? How was that a logical response to 'Hey, I like someone else'? It was just the kind of remark Sebastian would always make to get under Blaine's skin. And Blaine hated that it worked. It worked every single time.
"Whatever," he muttered to himself as he got into the driver's seat of his car.
By that point, Blaine wanted nothing more than to just go home and try to forget about the enormous disaster that the day had turned into. He just wanted to settle down and play with Ollie and let himself think about something else. He knew that wasn't really realistic though. Not when he still had the memory of those questioning, hurt blue eyes haunting his mind.
He sighed and let his head fall back on the headrest of the seat. Then he glanced in the rearview mirror and caught his son's bright eyes.
"Daddy really messed up, Buddy," he said to Ollie's reflection.
The little boy cocked his head to the side in a quizzical manner.
"Never, ever lie to anyone, okay?" said Blaine.
Ollie smiled, clearly not catching on to the full meaning of what Blaine was saying but thrilled to have his daddy talking to him. "O-tay!" he replied. Then he lifted his little legs out in front of him in his car seat and grabbed on to his toes, giggling wildly.
Blaine smiled at the action. In that moment, he was reminded of just how much he loved his son. Of how much joy the little boy brought him every day. And then the crushing sense of guilt came back over him, and he couldn't believe he'd ever been less than completely honest about him.
"You ready to go home?" he asked, still trying to suppress the vision of the almost-tears trying to escape from Kurt's guarded stare. "I know I am."
"Les-go, Dada!" Ollie exclaimed, still smiling hugely.
"Okay, Bud." Blaine buckled his seatbelt and put the car in gear.
The whole way back to the Anderson house, Blaine's mind was spinning in the events of the day. The replay of everything just seemed inescapable: How wonderful Kurt had been. How brave he was about the terrible things he had gone through. How honest and trusting and just great he was. How he made Blaine feel free to be himself and allowed to want what he wanted in life; he made him feel like he hadn't felt in years.
Blaine knew he would be the luckiest man in the world if Kurt ever deigned to speak to him again. He wanted so badly to call him and try to apologize some more, but he knew that Kurt needed time. He just really, really hoped he hadn't ruined everything. Only time would tell.