AN: Sorry for the huge delay; you know, school, work, other excuses, blah, blah, blah….

I realized I haven't written a disclaimer, so here is one now:

I do not own, nor am a part of the Narnia series (I wish I was!). All of the characters belong to the brilliant C.S. Lewis, who was kind enough to create this world for us and distribute it through books. I am in no way part of the movie productions of the Chronicles of Narnia (I'm not sure it applies to this story, but just in case). I only own the plot, which I hope you like

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was

-This Is Home, Switchfoot

3. Home?

"Oh, I've got the most wonderful news!" Helen Pevensie cried cheerfully as she entered the house.

Susan—who sat in the guestroom staring blankly at the street—did not avert her gaze, but listened a little more closely to the rest of her mother's words.

"It is safe to travel back to England! I've bought the tickets; we're going home!"

Home?

Susan unfolded her legs and got up from her seat. She walked carefully to the kitchen where her parents stood and talked. She stood at the doorway and spoke. "Are we going back to England?"

Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie looked up at their daughter's question in surprise. She had not spoken to them—at all, in fact—for so long, that it was strange to hear her voice again.

"Are we going back to England?" Susan asked again. Her voice was strong, clear, yet filled with sadness and anguish.

"Yes sweetheart," her mother walked to her and put a hand on her upper arm, "we are going back home, to England."

"When do we leave?" Mr. Pevensie asked.

Helen looked at the tickets in her hand. "In ten days," she answered.

Susan nodded. "I shall go pack my belongings." And she walked away. She made her way to her room, walking quickly down the hall. She entered her room and closed the door behind her. For a moment she stood frozen, simply staring at the room.

It had been three weeks since she had read Lucy's letter; three weeks since her walls had fallen and she had fallen apart with them.

She looked around the room, remembering her room back in England, and then her bed chambers back in her other home—in Narnia. Compared to both, this room was awfully plain, especially compared to her Narnian bed chambers from the Golden Age. The barren white walls were meek in comparison with the wall tapestries in Narnia. The sheer white curtains here did not match the grandiosity of the heavy velvet curtains in Narnia, nor the thick ones in her room in England. Even the view outside the window—the American street versus the familiar, beloved street of London, or the magnificent woods and sea and coast of Narnia…

Susan sighed and pulled a cloth duffle bag from under her bed. She began taking her dresses out of the wardrobe, folding them and laying them in the bag. She also collected her few books and a pair of shoes.

There was a light knock on the door behind her. "Come in," she said softly, and her mother and entered the room.

"Supper is ready, dear."

Susan nodded, and surprised her mother by getting up and following her to the dining room.

Susan had barely eaten in the past three weeks since reading Lucy's letter. She had no need for the food to sustain her… for she had no reason to keep living…She had wanted to die. But now that she knew there was hope, things were a little different. She knew her will was strong enough to fight back her feelings and allow her to live through the journey back to England. If she could not go to her true home in Narnia and live a full life there, she would allow herself to die in her other home, and not give in to her weakness.

Susan and her stupid weaknesses, she thought to herself as they reached the bottom of the stairs, always giving in to them and never being brave like Peter or Lucy, or even Edmund.

This time she would not give in. This time she would fight. Even if just for a little while…

She ate a nearly full meal that day.

AN: As always, make sure to review! The next chapter will be longer—much, much longer—the longest so far, which is why it may take me a little longer to upload it, but I hope not. It should be done and uploaded by Thursday or this weekend.