A.N: I am so, so sorry for not updating for such a long time! I know no excuse will be good enough, but still… I had major writing block (I couldn't write anything for a really long time) and I had these huge tests which are like the British A-Levels (I think…), and their score will, eventually, determine what university I will be able to get in to. So you see why I was sort of nervous and unable to write… But I'll be writing a lot now, since I'm finally on summer vacation and I intend to do a lot of writing this summer (mainly because the tests I had this year were only a minor part of my whole diploma, and I have another eleven like them next year in different subjects; not to mention each test has at least two tests before it that are like it and determine about 40% of your grade of the final exam…).
So you get my point; I was busy and selfish, so I haven't updated in a long time. But I am updating now! So I'll shut up and let you read…
Disclamer: I do not own the characters, only the plot. These characters belong to the great and marvelous C. who has oh-so-kindly made them up and shared them with the world. So thank you C.S. Lewis for this, and thank you to the makers of the Narnia movies (another thing I do not own nor am a part of) for bringing these wonderful stories to life and creating Suspian.
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends
-When September Ends, Green Day
6. Deteriorating
"Can you walk on your own?" Edmund asked, the concern in his voice only deepening.
Susan didn't answer. In truth, she did not answer not because she didn't want to, but because she was not sure what her answer should be. She didn't know if she could trust her legs enough to carry her, even the short distance to her room across the hall.
Edmund came to stand next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. With the other, he held her elbow. Keeping her steady in his grip, he led her to her room and sat her down on the bed. Then he crouched before her.
"Are you ill?"
She hesitated, and then shook her head slowly. No, she was not ill, not physically anyway. A broken heart was not considered an illness…
"is this the first time this has happened?" He watched the battling emotions in her eyes while she debated her answer. When she didn't answer, he didn't know what to make of it.
"Should I tell Mum or Dad?" he continued to question.
An alarmed expression crossed her face and she shook her head fervently.
Edmund looked at her a bit skeptically. Finally, he caved. "Fine, but you have to promise me something."
Susan looked up at him with eyes full of questions, but eventually nodded her head slowly.
"Ly down and take a nap for some time. I'll come again tomorrow. If this happens again, or you feel any sort of sickness, even the smallest of things, you tell me Su. Understand?"
She nodded softly.
Edmund got up from his crouch. He took her head between his hands and kissed the top of it.
"Sleep now, alright?"
Edmund walked to the door, and stopped at the doorway, turning back to Susan. He watched as she leaned down carefully, and pulled delicately at the end of the strings tying her shoe closed. Her moves were slow, attentive. She slid off her shoe, and proceeded to do the same with the other; all the while, not noticing her younger brother was watching. When she finished, she pulled herself onto the bed. There was something about the way she moved that caused Edmund to think lifting her legs and shuffling on the bed in an attempt to find comfort was an effort for her; as is she had to force each limb to change its position and lift it up to the bed.
She lay with her back to him. Edmund remained just another silent moment before he left, sighing softly.
As she lay on her bed, Susan pondered what had just happened. She didn't know what had caused her meal to come back up, but she had a guess. For weeks now she had been eating scarcely, or avoided eating altogether, whereas today she ate, and even tried to make it look like enough food to satisfy a hungry teenager. Though she had been unsuccessful in eating the amount she attempted to, Susan had eaten an amount of food greater than anything she had eaten as of late. Thus, it would be no wonder that her body could not cope with the quantity of food and want to get rid of some of it, or perhaps all of it.
The thought that her body might not be able to contain food substance did not bother Susan, as she did not feel want for it. She had deprived her body of the stuff for so long, that neither it nor her mind craved it anymore…consciously.
Susan let her right hand fall over her stomach, and lay her left arm along her body, bent at the elbow so her closed palm was right before her face. Thus, she fell into a deep slumber, drifting off into a dreamless sleep.
That night, after dinner and after they had both bathed, Edmund inched quietly to Lucy's room. The adults were awake, sitting in the lounge and reading. Eustace had fallen asleep; the large encyclopedia he had been reading lay open on his chest, falling and rising in time with his breathing.
Edmund pushed the door to his younger sister's room open. He winced when it creaked softly and froze. He waited and listened to see if the adults downstairs had noticed, or perhaps Eustace was not sleeping as heavily as he thought and would get up to see what the strange noise was. After a few silent moments had passed, and Edmund could detect no reaction to his doings whatsoever, he pushed the door open further. He slid quickly into Lucy's room and shut the door silently and tightly.
Lucy sat on her bed, reading a book by the dim light of a kerosene lantern—the only thing her aunt and uncle could find to replace the electrical one that had broken. Lucy didn't mind; besides, it was preferable to the option of using a candle.
"Lucy?" Edmund whispered.
Lucy jumped and stared at Edmund with eyes full of surprise and fear. "Edmund! You scared me!" she cried, dropping her book in her excitement.
"Shhhhh!" Edmund put a finger over his mouth and rushed to her. "Lucy, be quiet! If Uncle Harold and Aunt Alberta hear you, you'll get us both in trouble!" he hissed.
"Okay, okay, sorry; I'll be quiet." Lucy huffed, pouting. "But it's your fault you know, you're the one who scared me."
Edmund sat down beside Lucy and she scooted around a bit, moving her legs and making room for him to sit comfortably.
"Yes I know, sorry about that. I just realized we hadn't spoken about today, just the two of us, so I wanted to come over and have a chat with you."
Lucy's face immediately brightened up. "It was quite a lovely surprise was it not? It was great seeing Susan, but I can't wait to see Mum and Dad. I can't believe you, you're so lucky you have already seen them. How are they? Are they well? What does the house look like after standing alone for all this time? Gosh, it must be so dusty! I must come with you tomorrow; Mum would like the help with cleaning the house…"
Edmund felt overwhelmed by the quick flow of words out of Lucy's mouth. Her face was animate, her cheeks flushed with pure joy and excitement. Edmund listened only half-heartedly to her ramblings; he didn't find any interest in most of them. The image of Susan vomiting over the toilet and carrying herself with such caution plagued his mind.
"Did you notice anything strange about Susan today?" Lucy suddenly asked, somewhat more calmly.
Edmund perked up at the question, and wondered what he should answer. He didn't want to worry Lucy. Besides, Susan had asked him not to tell their parents; he doubted she'd want their sweet, innocent little sister to know. After a few seconds, he shook his head. His reaction was somewhat delayed, and that caused a suspicion to rise in Lucy's heart.
"She seemed skinnier to me when I hugged her; didn't you notice? You'd think with all the parties they must have gone to she would have gained weight, not lost it. Perhaps American food isn't as nourishing as our food, though I doubt it. They must be doing better than we are, what with this war and all."
Edmund just nodded silently.
Lucy heaved a sigh and grimaced. "Edmund, you said you wanted to have a chat. You know that requires both sides to speak, right?"
Edmund looked up at her. Something about the emotions playing on his face caused him to appear lost, helpless.
"Is everything alright, Ed?" she asked him. Her voice was quiet, concerned.
"Yes, yes," he answered, at first somberly, but then his voice grew stronger, more confident. He had to at least seem sure of himself, put up a front in order to make Lucy think everything truly was alright. "Sorry Lu, I'm sorry for being so distracted. I'm simply tired, I suppose. I'll go to bed and we'll both sleep well tonight; get rested. Tomorrow we'll go home and help Mum and dad with whatever they need, alright?"
Lucy looked suspiciously at Edmund as he patted her knee and got up from her bed, yet she smiled all the same.
"Goodnight Lu," he said as he left.
"Goodnight Edmund," she whispered softly. She put a book mark in the page she had stopped on and put her book on her bedside table. Then she turned the little knob on the kerosene lantern, until it dimmed and was put out completely. She lay back in her bed and stared at the ceiling. In his room, Edmund did the same.
Eventually the two siblings drifted off to a deep, untroubled sleep—with one difference between the two: whereas Lucy thought of the next day and fell asleep with a smile, Edmund could not erase the happenings of the day from his mind, and fell asleep with a frown.
Edmund and Lucy had both woken up very early in the morning. They both hurried to complete their chores, as they both wished to go to their home as quickly as possible, each for his or her own reasons. Lucy was 'super excited' as she had put it to see her beloved parents, whilst Edmund was still worrying about Susan.
After Aunt Alberta handed a basket of food and baked goods to Edmund (it was too heavy for Lucy to carry it) and instructed him to give it to his mother—and not eat from it until given permission to do so!—the two were on their way. They walked quickly, urgent and excited, and got to their home in a much shorter time than it usually would have taken.
Lucy knocked on the door, and the two listened to the approaching footsteps on the other side. When the door opened, Lucy was immediately engulfed in her mother's arms, and returned the hug willingly. Once the doorway had been cleared for him, Edmund walked past the two hugging and joyously weeping couple, and strode to the kitchen. He put the basket down on the marble counter and went to search for his father and older sister. Meanwhile, Lucy and Mrs. Pevensie entered the house.
"Mum, where's Dad?" Lucy asked in her high trilling voice with was now somewhat muffled by the tears she had shed.
"Your father went off to the war office, and afterwards he will be going to the Foreign Affairs Ministry (a.n.: I'm not sure that's what the British actually call it, but this is the closest translation I could find) to sort out some things about his job." Mrs. Pevensie looked down at her daughter's sadden face and stroked her head comfortingly. "It's alright, deary, he shall be back for dinner, and he will be here all afternoon. The two of you are, of course, most welcome to stay and dine with us."
Lucy's face brightened up noticeably. "Of course we'll stay, Mum!" she said cheerfully and proceeded to kiss her mother's cheek.
Edmund looked about the kitchen, looking for the other missing figure. "Mum," he said carefully, "where is Susan?"
Their mother looked up from her happy daughter with a blank expression. "I-I don't know," she admitted, her eyes wide. "Last night I went up to her bedroom to call her to supper, but she was sleeping, so I didn't want to wake her. That's the last time I saw her."
Edmund bolted towards the stairs, and raced up them frantically. When he reached Susan's room he grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open hastily. There, across from him, lying on the bed, was Susan. The fact that she was in precisely the same position he had left her in the night before did not help ease his conscience. He crossed the room in quick steps, and crouched before her bed.
"Su… Susan!" he whispered at first, yet as he got no response, his calls got louder. He laid a hand on her shoulder and shook her.
He was completely unaware of his mother and sister standing in the doorway, watching, confused.
"Come on Su, wake up!" he almost yelled.
Suddenly, he felt a response; a slight turn of the arm he was gripping tightly.
"Ow," Susan croaked. Edmund sighed, and smiled in relief.
Susan turned and came face to face with him, their faces only centimeters apart. "Edmund, what are you doing?"
"Su, how are you feeling?"
"Like a bloody floor rag. Edmund, what are you doing here, you said you'd only come back tomorrow."
Edmund looked at her incredulously. "Su, it is tomorrow. I left at three in the afternoon yesterday; it's nearly ten in the morning now. You've slept over twenty hours."
Susan's eyes became wide as that information sank in. the tears rose in them, and she whimpered.
"Hey, hey, it's alright, we'll take care of you. You're probably just tired from the trip back from America; you need to rest. We'll take care of you, I promise."
Susan nodded hesitantly. She tried to sit up, but her body was stiff from the long hours of lying in one position while she slept. She whimpered, and Edmund hurried to assist her.
"I'll get her something to eat." Her declaration was what alerted the siblings of their mother's presence, and the two watched as she turned and led Lucy away with her.
Edmund stayed with Susan, and for a while, they just sat. Until Susan had suddenly 'collected' herself, and went to the bathroom to take a bath and clean herself up. She took a change of clothes with her, and Edmund blushed thinking how awkward it would be to encounter his older sister in only a towel.
When they came down to the kitchen twenty minutes later, their mother served Susan a light breakfast. Susan only managed to eat about half a slice of bread with butter before she ran to the lavatory and it all came back up. The same happened when her mother served her broth, and even the clear chicken soup she had trouble keeping down.
As the day went on, the three watched, and suddenly the changes in Susan were much more defined to their eyes. Suddenly, they noticed the sickly pallor in her cheeks, the lack of pink in them, how much thinner she had grown, how her once lively spirit had all but vanished.
In the late hours of the afternoon, Susan had finally collapsed from fatigue, and an eerie silence fell in the house.
Edmund hat sat by her while she was falling asleep, and now that he was sure she was completely unconscious, he seeked solitude. He wandered down the stairs, and ended up in the library, where he sank in a big, plush armchair.
A question, asked by a soft, high, melodic voice made him jump in his seat. The voice came from the young girl, sitting on the couch beside him, yet he had not noticed her when he entered the room and sat down. The question was every bit as innocent, and sad, as the sweet girl who had asked it.
"What's wrong with Susan?" Lucy asked.
Edmund really did not know what to answer.
A.N.: Wow! This came out the longest chapter yet! And to think, I had writer's block when I started writing this yesterday (yes, yes, I'm sorry for the ginormous delay, I've already apologized for that) and could barely get past two hundred words. Guess this day just got better the later it got!
Personally, I thought I did kid of a crappy job with this chapter… so tell me what you think about it! Review, review, review, people! There aren't many people reading this, so I know you can all review!
Love you all, and I'll update ASAP; seriously I'll start working on the next chapter tomorrow. Though I'll probably be going back to updating once a week on Thursdays, so you guys have nothing to worry about!
Review!