This chapter is dedicated to HatakeSachico5151! I really appreciate everyone's reviews and questions - and thank you all so much for reading and following my stories. BTW, I've posted new stories!

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Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

The tears just won't stop! Kakashi thought as he tried to man up or find something to ease the horrible pain he felt inside.

Gai was also in tears but for a totally different reason. Crying and sniffing loudly, Gai went on ad nauseum regarding how Kakashi's wife is so full of incredible beauty, youth, and now skill additionally… Add pure meanness and demonic intentions, Kakashi thought quite seriously about the woman who fed him this monstrosity, unable to even glare at her because his eyes were watering so much. How could she?!

"You are so sweet, Gai-san! It's really not a big deal: it's just curry after all."

"Naru-hime you fail to give yourself enough credit!" Gai replied in his loud deep voice, pumping his fist before slamming it into his other meaty palm. "I have not eaten anything this delectable since I was last in the Land of Rivers, at a place that served my favorite dish of all time: The Curry of Life! Somehow you managed to steal their recipe, ne?" He asked while taking another huge bite of the dish Kakashi considered poison.

"Mmm - did you say something?" Naruto asked, eliciting mournful tears from the Taijutsu expert and a death glare from the copy nin. Kakashi drank his 8th glass of milk, still coughing intermittently before Naruto finally took pity on him. Kakashi watched her go into the kitchen to bring out something from the freezer.

Naru knew very well that her husband didn't care for sweet things, so he should be kissing her ass for all time for having this flavor of ice cream mochi on hand - and for giving it to him in order to lessen his pain, especially after his jerkwad actions earlier today. Green tea ice cream mochi: the worst type you could get, Naruto felt. She'd bought it for him - of course, she had also made the best copy she could of the dreaded Curry of Life for him. Who knew he wouldn't like it?! "You did!" a voice answered with pride inside her head. That voice was so happy, watching his kit torture her spouse and Green Horror, Sr.

Kakashi dove into his icy treat and bonelessly fell further into his chair. His insides were still burning more than taking an Uchiha fire jutsu to the mouth and intestines, but at least when the ice cream was either in his mouth or the way down, he felt some relief. Naru was looking him straight in the eye. Oh, he could see the amusement she was trying to hide from him, and one day - one of these days - she was really going to get it! He walked over to the closest drawer and pulled out a new mask before running back to the table to shovel more ice cream into his mouth - just to let it sit there before it slid down his throat. This whole thing was horrible; even the masks he had been wearing were completely soaked.

Gai finally left and Kakashi really wanted to apologize for how he had left her mid-kiss earlier, but his naughty little wife had rendered him unable to speak with that thing she called curry. She flitted around the kitchen, occasionally refilling his ice water, but otherwise ignored him entirely. Finally, he gave up trying and layed back in his big comfy chair to watch TV. For some reason, the only thing on was a musical - a NINJA musical, of all things. He had never heard of this Boogalu Ninjutsu in Paradise, and he wished he never had. For some reason tonight it was on all three channels. Yeah, right… He looked up to begin grilling his wife and realized that she wasn't there. He also found that he couldn't turn off the TV, but that would be no problem; he could ignore it. Icha-Icha Paradise was the perfect tonic to all his ills!

He reached for his precious and found it to be missing. No matter, he had an extra copy in the drawer underneath for backup. He tried to get up and reach for it when he realized he couldn't move from the recliner. Fuck. What did she do? And more importantly, what did she do with my book?!

Kakashi was forced to watch the movie for over an hour. He tried so many times to look away, but it had a horrible effect on him: it was almost like a terrible accident that civilians couldn't tear their eyes from! Finally, Naruto came down with a somewhat apathetic look on her face, wearing very tiny pajamas, if you could even call them that. Tight and just covering her breasts while exposing her tan, toned midriff, the top had the words, "Toad Princess" displayed, plus a frog with big lips wearing a tiara. The shorts that accompanied it were more like underwear and looked really great, too. Stop thinking like that! Look away, Hatake! There's no telling what she'll do next if she catches you, his mind screamed.

She did catch him looking and the copy-nin could feel his face again heating up. He rechecked to ensure he still had a mask on, which she seemed to think was funny - if that sexy little laugh was anything to go by. Kakashi watched the blonde sway up to him very seductively as his mouth went dry. She bent over him, giving him another great view of her cleavage - and so much else, he realized as his eyes paid no attention to his reasonable thoughts of DANGER. Naru brought her face right up to his and breathily said, "Kai." Then she moved away: he swore she was shaking that ass of hers purposely as she walked back up the stairs. After she was out of view, Kakashi realized he could once again move and that the TV was back in order. He let out a groan and prayed to keep it in his pants and as importantly, never piss his little wife off again!

Naruto went back to her room feeling better. She struck through a few of the pranks she had planned earlier today in her planner, smiling at their successful completion as she hugged her GamaBam plushie and went to sleep. It had been a long day.

It was early morning when Kakashi left his bedroom in search of something to drink. His stomach had been doing a number on him all night, no doubt because of that hellacious curry followed by nearly a gallon of milk, plus the ice cream he'd ingested at dinner the previous night. Walking past Naruto's closed door, he heard her voice - who the hell is she talking to?

"... yeah, I know: it was brilliant! What can I say?" Kakashi heard Naru giggle and there was a pause. "Tell me about it. What about you?" There was a much longer pause and Kakashi felt his anger and anxiety rising. Someone was in his little wife's room with her, and her door closed! He unconsciously began growling until he shut himself up. He couldn't let her hear him until he determined the threat within Naru's room. "All right, Shika, I get it…"

Kakashi burst into her room, looking furious as his eyes shot in all directions of her room. He was at the window so fast it looked to her sleepy eyes as if he'd teleported from the doorway. She immediately came to full attention as she looked at her husband's bare back, eyes wide. He turned around and she gulped at what she immediately decided was some freaking fantastic candy - eye candy, that is. He was ignoring her, still looking furious, as he jumped close to her, bending over on the floor, looking under the bed she had been making. She looked at that ass bent down and being so beautiful in front of her, as her furry partner spoke.

"Gross. I'm going to start calling you Pervert, rather than him! Get a grip, kit! Yes, you're over 30 so for your kind, it's normal that you're sexually frustrated, but you're making me wish I was capable of puking!"

Naruto was still dazed. "Uhhhh, did you say something?"

Kurama's tails all hit the floor of his cell at once, shaking her mindscape. "Fuck you, Uzumaki!" he roared as she finally paid full attention to him. She'd had the nerve to speak Pervertese to him! Who the hell did she think she was?! "To think that I had somewhat approved of the coupling of you and the perverted Dog Boy!" Kurama shook his head at her in disbelief as she stood in front of his cell, blushing brightly. Damn kit still had a slightly twisted grin on her face, though. Uzumakis… Perverts: the lot of them, he growled. And to think I had hoped she would be better, with her polite douchebag father's genes thrown into the mix!

"Where is he?" Shirtless Kakashi demanded, holding on to her waist.

"Do what?" Naruto responded, sounding like a southern-most Island farmhand from the Land of Water. Kakashi moved his hands to her shoulders, giving her a little shake. "What… What are you talking about?" Kakashi was definitely on about something and she had no idea of what it was. Plus it was hard to concentrate with him holding her against his bare chest like this! The pleasant feeling of not wearing a bra right now and how glad she was for it made her smile.

"Kami - damn you, kit! Pervert's angry and waiting for an answer." Looking at what he called his kit's "stupid-face," for it was a completely stupid expression that she was wearing, he shook his head at her in annoyance. "Unless you're looking for another Chidori, you'd better answer him, idiot!"

Boy did that get Naruto's attention. She wanted another Chidori hit less than having a sea of Aburame bugs up her ass. Deep underground in a hidden lair, a dark-haired young man wearing sunglasses sneezed.

"G-Gomen, Kakashi. Did you, uhhh... say something?" Kurama tsk-ed and Kakashi's eyes darkened malevolently.

"You better believe I asked something, Hatake!" He'd spit their name at her. Her eyebrows rose up dramatically and she felt fear from the words and spiking chakra of her husband. "I asked you where is he? Where is Shikamaru?"

She was baffled. Shikamaru was at home, she guessed. Everything was happening so fast, and Kakashi was so angry... Shikamaru would most likely only contact her if he was at home, probably with silencing seals activated. Oh! "Oh! You heard me talking to Shikamaru!"

Kakashi rolled his eye as he gripped her shoulders, holding her to him even tighter. She looked up at him with a little smile. What am I going to do with this woman? I know what I'm going to do with that Shikamaru asshole! He growled low in his throat, making his little wife's golden eyebrows rise up in question as to what he was doing, no doubt. "Where. Is. He?" he asked in a dark and dangerous tone.

"At home I guess?" Naruto said. Seeing the focused anger on her husband's face - an expression she hadn't seen since the war in her past life, she squeaked. "Look!" Naruto demanded, pointing to her ear.

Kakashi gave her a look of doubt before finally looking away from her eyes, and focused on her ears. Wait. Is that… "Is that fuuinjutsu?" He asked, his attention going to what looked like a possible seal carved into her black studded earrings.

Naruto nodded her head eagerly. "Uh-huh! It's the best I've got for now - this way to communicate over the distance I have gotten it to, anyway." Kakashi had let go of one of her arms; Naruto scratched the back of her head. He was holding up her little earlobe as he looked at her earring with interest. Through his mask his breath just barely reached that ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Noticing it, he asked if she was alright. She nodded and looked away from his eyes, blushing. "Hmmm," he uttered with a rumbling in his deep voice. Her entire body shook and he looked at her in concern. She still wasn't looking him in the eye. Unconsciously, he placed his hands right above her elbows. "So what does this seal do?"

She looked up at him for a second, trying not to push away the sound she nearly made at his touch. "Ano, Shika and I have these, ya know? So we can keep in contact… I can kinda talk to him without actually talking, ya know - if we're in really close contact." She shivered again, realizing Kakashi had quietly growled at her. "Ano, if we're farther apart, we have to speak out loud, ya know?" Damn my verbal tic! I thought Yoshino beat it out of me with that spoon of hers! "Ano…" She shook her head, trying to shake off the idea that aside from her damned verbal tic, she must sound a lot like Hinata-chan to him right now, and wasn't that embarrassing? She gulped as she once again looked up into his dark gray eye, noticing that there were bits of silver around his pupil. She groaned internally, nearly feeling weak in the knees. Why does he have to be so damn attractive? He tilted his head at her, obviously questioning her in silent observation.

What else does he want to know? And why was he so angry before? Naruto bit her upper lip, trying to keep her emotions in check as well as just figure out what to say or do in general. "What do you want to know? I mean, both Shika and I have to concentrate to use it, ya know? If our concentration breaks - either one of ours - we lose the connection, for now. When I learn more…"

"What is your real relationship with Shikamaru Nara?" the silver-haired man asked quietly. He took in a deep, calming breath through his nose and froze. That smell… Damn my nose! Kakashi thought as he closed his eyes. He swallowed a large lump in his throat and forced his hands away from her, inadvertently making them into fists at his sides. She's aroused… nervous, but highly aroused. Of that, there was no doubt, thanks to his enhanced Hatake senses, and that did certain things to him. He took a step back from her as she responded to his question.

"What do you mean? He's like - my big brother. And my best friend, ya know?"

He slowly nodded his head at her. She didn't smell like she was lying - even though the rest of her scent was thick and… Kami-sama, help me! Briefly, he wondered if Bijuus could emit pheromones. People couldn't, at least not that he could detect. But she had that giant fox in her gut and maybe? No, I'm being ridiculous, he assured himself. But that left the realization that if his own reaction to her wasn't caused by something like pheromones, then it was just her - or her scent - and that was frickin' scary because he'd never had THIS kind of reaction to anyone before! He began walking backward, his heart continuing to race in his chest. Naruto looked up at him with clear confusion on her face. "Ja ne!" he said, sunshinning out of her room.

"What the hell was that about?!" Naruto said slowly out loud in puzzlement, as she sat down on her bed. She tried to shake it off - all of it - and leaned back into her bed for a while before reconnecting with Shikamaru.

Kakashi stepped fully into his horribly cold shower. He let the water run through his hair, soaking it completely before pouring body wash into his hand. Upon slapping it on his chest to wash, he froze - realization hitting him like a brick. "Fucking hell! I barged into her room without my shirt on like a damn pervert!" He sighed heavily and planted his forehead on the tiled wall. After getting ready for the day, it was quite a while later that he finally had the nerve to go downstairs. How can I even look at her?! He could smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen, and hear her working in it again. The thought of last night's dinner, along with what happened this morning, kept him from basically skipping down the stairs, however. He was still staring at his feet when he reached the dining area. He looked up and was utterly horrified.

Naruto was just setting down two plates at the smaller table that was in the room. She grinned up at him, hair still damp, in a green spandex leotard that completely matched Gai's.

"Good morning!" she said brightly at her husband who was now crouched on the ceiling, looking at her with a sickened expression on his face. Success! This is maybe worth two or three pranks! She laughed maniacally.