HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

This chapter is dedicated to Princess Hinashi! I really appreciate everyone's reviews and questions - and thank you all so much for reading and following my stories.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I will take advice and suggestions from my readers' reviews!

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

Naruto came out of her lust-induced euphoria and looked down at him, but could only see the top of his wild silver-haired head settled on her chest. Then she heard it: he began to snore. Completely pinned under 200-plus pounds of muscled sleeping manmeat, she was forced to listen to her asshole of a partner laugh his furry tails off in her mindscape.

Now I lay here, unasleep
 I pray to gods my soul to keep
If I should die under all this weight
 I beg before then, my virginity he'll take

Why me? Naruto was beginning to go numb in places, and making it even more frustrating was that she couldn't see her husband's unmasked face.

Talk about unfair!

Naruto had only seen Kakashi drunk like this once before in her previous life. It was fairly soon after Pein's invasion and she found him under a tree, splayed out in a strange manner snoring nearly as loudly as Ero-Sennin used to. From the way his body and face were nearly planted in the ground, he'd clearly fallen off the tree. Thinking that he might have broken bones in his fall, she ran to Sakura-chan, who confidently diagnosed him as "Shitfaced." The girls carried him back to his apartment, so irritated at his weight, flailing around, and snoring, they didn't even try to look under his mask for once.

Sai showed up after the heavy lifting was done, of course. He took off Kakashi's headband and drew giant black eyebrows over his narrow silver ones. He didn't quite look like Gai-sensei: Kakashi was (probably) too handsome for that, but it was close enough to make them all laugh but fear the repercussions of Sai's actions. She couldn't remember if that was before or after stupid Omoi and that mean Kumo redhead nearly beat her to a pulp.

That memory brought back more, as she laid pinned to the floor going numb, occasionally arguing for relief from Kurama. She couldn't help but wince at the reminder of Sakura hitting her without remorse more than once after only a few shinobi were still around following the Pein battle and celebration: all because she was outed as "supposedly" being a girl. To say that the Pinkette was furious with her was an understatement. Naruto had to be rescued from her fury by her teammates; it was so soon after the battle.

She remembered just before that when Kakashi settled her on his back immediately following the defeat of Pein… "Maa, Naruto-kun, why do I feel breasts against me? You shouldn't be wasting chakra with your sexy jutsu, ne?"

"Got no chakra to waste, sensei." Kakashi had stopped in his tracks, whipped her around and off his back in an instant, and proceeded to grope her. When she squealed and covered herself, he backed up several paces and just stared at her. She explained why she had been hiding her gender all her life, and he just continued looking at her, an unreadable expression on his masked face. "I'm not getting naked for you right here after that battle, sensei," she'd growled at him. He stood stock-still for a while before responding.

"Maa, maa - so my cute little androgynous genin is a… a…"

"A woman. Yes Sensei, I am." She remembered being so incredibly embarrassed, and not knowing what to do next and let her mouth take over since it seemed to be in charge. "I didn't have time to bind myself and everything on the Mountain… We found out from Ma about the village being under attack, and all of us summoned back here immediately."

Kakashi finally got over himself, apologizing profusely and awkwardly for his earlier actions, and asked for a list of those who knew about her hidden gender. She left out a few, fearing for their lives in facing a most-likely furious Jonin, but did include Ero-sennin: the man who should have known since the beginning, since he was her damn Godfather, and had passed away...

That idiot used to buy her the services of prostitutes so that she / "he" could understand the magnificence of the female body!

The women were always really nice, thank goodness. They taught her things about being a kunoichi that she didn't quite understand back then. They made her dress up in their kimonos, had her grow out her hair with chakra so they could put it in various designs: that part she really adored. More than anything they laughed with her, and thoroughly enjoyed putting the old Sage down by saying how good "Naruto-kun" supposedly was in bed compared to the Sannin. He would mope for days, then get incredibly proud of his student, whom he claimed was following in his footsteps. Finally totally sick of his attitude and actions, she outed herself, yelling at him furiously as she pulled off her jacket and top - showing only her heavily bandaged form beneath.

The Pervert seemed to lose his mind at that, muttering something about a Kushina person killing him in various ways, getting "flashed" into eternity… Then she heard him mutter something that changed her life: "Your father's going to come back, dragging the Shinigami with him. I'm going to be in his belly forever!" he wailed. He knew he'd fucked up when Naruto asked, "You know who my father is?" She could see by his face that he did, so she demanded answers - and finally got a few of them.

After learning far too little, she ran away from him, finding one of the prostitutes she'd visited before. The Madame of the House had taken her in, swearing pain on the Toad Sage by her girls at his every future visit. She also promised to spread the word! Naruto healed there emotionally for a while, then finally went back to The Pervert who had been searching for her. He was desperately afraid that because of his actions or inactions, she'd been killed by the Akatsuki. To this day she remembered the shock but comfort of him holding her and crying, kissing her head, and apologizing repeatedly. No one had ever made her feel precious like that before.

And he loved me for my real self, too. Naruto choked down a sob and was able to wipe the tears off her face with the hand she still had feeling in and tried to compose herself.

"As lovely as this walk down memory lane has been, it's time to get you up."

"You'll maybe... assist me then? Kakashi's heavy."

Kurama rolled his eyes. "Yes. I can't stand feeling you stew in your memories and emotions. I'll never get back to sleep if you stay under this idiot." Using their combined chakra, she easily and gently placed Kakashi on his back. He let out a snore, as she took in his face for the first time.

"Oh, look at him, Kurama! Just look!" She awkwardly rebuttoned her top with her better-working hand while she continued gawking at the man she'd married. "Look!"

Naruto was gazing at her human-looking husband, trying to memorize every bit of his pale face. "Yes, I see the Pervert, brat. He's acceptable, I suppose. Your kits won't be entirely homely if he's ever able to finish the rutting." Naruto scowled at him with a pout but he ignored her. "I need to sleep. I'm not helping you anymore: you fucked this up with your own actions." A flick of the tail kicked her out of her mindscape.

"Kami-sama, look at you, Kakashi." She took in his features: he was just so damn handsome. A straight nose, high cheekbones which she was immediately a little jealous of... pink, rather narrow lips. Are those little fangs? She giggled: his canines were definitely sharper than her own - and that was saying something! He snored again, his mouth still hanging open. He looks so young like this!

Naruto felt her heart fill: she was really in deep, she realized with more than a hint of fear. She'd had a crush on the man that was her sensei since she was 12 in her first life, but she really had fallen for him after she returned from her training trip with Jiraiya. His being good-looking wasn't making staying in control of herself any easier.

Her husband's skin was flawless, aside from a scar at the bottom of his chin - along with the large one over his eye which she'd always thought was sexy. The palest part of his face under his mask looked like it was made of ivory. Just a tiny bit less light was the area he wore the headband covering his Sharingan, while the part of his face always exposed - his natural eye - looked nearly tan in comparison.

He has a damn beauty mark: that just proves how beautiful he is!

She bent/lurched forward to kiss him but her world and stomach turned. She fell into him. I didn't realize I actually got... tipsy!

"Hey Naruto," he smiled up at her, still looking a little inebriated.

Dimples? Squee!

Oh, no: he was turning her into a fangirl. Naruto backed up and blushed terribly. Trying to will it away she gave him an "Ohayo," in return and looked to her side.

Ugh - my parents' scrolls. She looked back at Kakashi, who looked to be giving the ceiling a dimpled grin, and decided to see what was in them for herself. After trying to pulse chakra into the first scroll, she realized that they were blood-bound. Wiping her bloodied thumb across the first scroll, a large POOF appeared in front of her, followed by a series of popping sounds. She looked at them as Kakashi sat up groggily, seeing what were boxes, pictures, what looked like journals, and finally, a bunch of special file boxes. Opening the first of the marked boxes - figuring the filing boxes were safest, she gasped. "Hiraishin... Kakashi, look! This one's filled with jutsus!"

Kakashi crawled over and looked over her shoulder. "Maa, I never knew how he did it. I guess you'll be able to learn it now," he said quietly, rubbing his eyes.

"We can both learn it. You'll be better than I'll ever be anyway, if I'm able to do it at all: I mean it has something to do with lighting, ne?"

Kakashi looked at the scroll and realized the words were moving and offset in his drunken vision. "Maa, I shouldn't have drunk so much, hime."

"That's okay - me, too, by the way," she smiled up at his gorgeous face and tried not to blush. "And you know you don't have to call me that, right? I mean, you can call me that if you want to, but I don't want anyone else to call me that, and... Never mind." As much as she felt like kissing every inch of that face of his, she was also relieved that he was being so "normal" and not freaking out over her parents' things. Plus she should just shut up!

Plus-plus, all these mementos of her parents made her feel like their ghosts were watching. She shivered: ghosts had always scared the hell out of her, even more so after dealing with the zombies in the Fourth Shinobi War. "Can you help me?" Naru waved her hand toward the file boxes.

The next box was full of orderly stacked three-prong kunai. She couldn't believe it. Kakashi was in awe, too, and she could only imagine the memories he had of her father, judging from the far-off expression on his face. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking but moved on.

The next box was full of jutsu, too. She'd seen a lot in her past - considering she'd stolen the Forbidden Scroll in her past life and had been allowed into parts of the Nara Clan Library over these past years, but what was in front of her was just staggering. She was truly awed - more than ever - at the genius that was her father, especially after looking through the third box. Jutsu notes, some so complicated that she couldn't imagine either doing or coming up with them. She immediately pushed them to Kakashi, who was now holding his hand over his biological eye. She guessed he was either committing the notes to memory or maybe he was just trying to see what was written. He still seemed at least a little drunk. She was, too, but as an Uzumaki, she knew that she could handle an alarming amount of alcohol that would put most people under the table. Maybe that's how Baa-chan can drink so much, too: she's at least a quarter Uzumaki, after all. Or maybe, for Tsunade, it just came from being an alcoholic?

The remaining boxes contained fuuinjutsu notes, samples, ideas, and completed seals. Oh, she couldn't wait to dive into those! Placing them back in their box, she wondered what to look at next. Looking back at Kakashi, who still had one of her father's kunai in one hand, a scroll in the other, she saw him staring at what was labeled on a scroll as containing pictures. She brought it over to him and allowed him to open it. It was a simple storage scroll, but the picture on top took her breath away.

It was a genin team - her mother's. Naruto's eyes teared up. There was a very cute and hugely smiling Kushina Uzumaki at a young age, with a Hyuuga next to her. The Hyuuga looked aloof as expected, but the boy on the other side of her childlike mother? Naruto gasped: Sharingan eyes, black hair, Itachi's tear tracks, and Sasuke's scowl... Fugaku Uchiha: no doubt about it. It was then that she looked at their sensei with even more shock. He looked like a bulkier replica of the man who now had his arms around her from behind. "Kakashi," she breathed out in shock.

"Yeah…" He responded wistfully while placing his head against her own. "That's… my father. And, of course, your mother, plus Hyuuga Hizashi, and Uchiha Fugaku: Team One." He shook his head and sighed. He glanced at her and sighed again. "Two assholes, my father and my first crush."

Naruto tried not to let her eyes fall out of her head at that comment. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears… Her husband was crushing on her mother?! Geez: she'd always thought he had it bad for her father! She took in a deep breath and moved to the next picture, trying not to reel into an anxiety attack.

Annd, there was her father's genin pic. Tears fell as she took in the picture she'd never seen: The Pervert smiling that goofy smile of his, hunched down over her very young dad - the shortest one in the picture. He was smiling, next to a very pretty Uchiha, and… Oh, gods, it can't be! The tallest boy was like a normal (for any other person) dressed, long-haired Rock Lee. She tried to keep herself from hyperventilating at those big round eyes and those eyebrows. Could it be? She knew that Lee was an orphan, too…

"Maa, that's the old Team 7: Jiraya-sama of the Sannin in the back, sensei, Uchiha Mikoto, and Rock Dai."

"Rock Dai?" Naru accidentally muttered out loud. At some point in one of her lives, she'd learned that Gai-sensei's father was an absolute taijutsu monster, even if he was a genin: his name, she was pretty sure was Maito DAI. Did Gai and Lee share more than simply their obsession with green and taijutsu? Were they maybe unknowingly like Naruto and the Super Pervert had been?

Does Lee know?!

"Hai, Rock Dai. He was older than the others, your father was the youngest: he graduated early and became an apprentice of Jiraiya-sama before the rest joined his team. You met his son with me before, ne?" Seeing Naruto's pale face, he naturally assumed she was having flashbacks of the younger green nightmare. "Dai's son is my buddy Gai's minion." Naruto nodded her head blankly, taking in all of this new information while closing her eyes. "Dai should have graduated earlier…"

"What happened to him?" She vaguely noticed that Kakashi had called Gai his "buddy." Hearing that she was assured that her husband was still drunk. As much as Kakashi cared for his eternal rival, she knew he would never admit it openly like that. Gai shouted it to the world enough for the both of them, she figured.

Kakashi scratched his hair and tried to remember what he had done before... "Maa, he got married to a civilian nearly straight out of the Academy, but was killed in battle." The grimace on his face told her there was more to the story.

"Battle? What kind of battle," Naruto asked, afraid of the answer.

Kakashi looked at her with a weird expression. He finally looked down and told her. "He defended his home from the Kyuubi."

Naruto felt like she was falling down a deep pit. Sweet, bizarro, magnificent Lee was orphaned by Kurama's attack? No, by that masked guy's attack, she told herself firmly. Still, how had Lee remained so nice to her, especially after he and their friends learned that she held the fox? She felt the room spin and was pulled into Kakashi's arms.

"It's not your fault," he said firmly. "It's no more your fault than it was your mother's," he said, looking at her with both eyes. She almost felt like he put her in a genjutsu: she had immediately calmed so much being held tighter in his arms. He closed his eyes and kissed her gently. Those kisses became more intense and really, really heated up when he suddenly pulled back, pulling his tongue out of her mouth without even finishing the kiss! She opened her eyes and wiped off her mouth, to see him looking at her with shocked eyes. He slid back away from her. "Y- you've seen my face! Why didn't you… Oh, Kami, this is bad," he continued, now on his feet, stumbling slightly. She didn't know what was going on, other than the fact that he only now realized he wasn't wearing his mask. He grabbed it from the floor and quickly drew it over his head, saying before he sunshinned away, "We're fucked!"