DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I would love to hear your thoughts on how the story's progressing.

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Naruto woke up covered with ninken. "What's going on?" she slurred. Judging from the sun in the room, it had to be around noon at least.

Pakkun yawned widely as he crawled up her chest, entirely too close to her face. "Boss' chakra is off, so he's experimenting with it. He was pretty angry with you for that stunt you pulled last night, too."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?! Urushi and Bull, can you get off my legs, please?" She sighed in the relief she felt, at least from her left leg. "Thank you. Oh man, I can't even feel my right leg." She tried to move it, as Bull plopped right back down beside her before giving the leg he'd been on a big wet lick that she couldn't feel. "Thank you, baby," Bull began panting happily at the pet name. "Seriously, I had clones on patrol to guard us, and Zabuza signaled me from a ways off and came close - acting all friendly - that is until he sliced my clone in half!"

"You should have told Boss before you went outside."

"Che. I summoned a toad and replaced myself with him after he went outside. I was camouflaged as the little guy and replaced my clones that had been patrolling with the new ones I made in the house. Or I had them do it, ya know. I was totally safe - and I could've definitely called for help if I needed to." She involuntarily shivered hard at what her clones had seen happen at Gato's former place.

"What's wrong?" Akino asked.

"Will you tell Kakashi? I mean, I guess I already did," she added glumly.

"You mean about the carnage that Zabuza inflicted in that place he's at now? Yeah, it was brutal from what I saw," Akino nodded while sitting down closer to her. He put his nose into her hand and she rubbed her thumb along the top side of it.

"He's there - like, he's there now?! What if..."

"There, there, she-wolf, he's there with Jiraiya-sama," Naruto quickly shifted at the title Shiba just gave her; she liked it much better than what Bisuke used to call her. "The Sage is planning to take over Gato's financing."

Thinking of the way the man used to deplete her poor Gama-chan on wine, women, and song - but mostly the first two of those - Naruto voiced her misgivings. She really wanted Wave to prosper. The island's people had been through enough as far as she was concerned.

"Jiraiya has to stay within the original charters, both the Hi no Kuni regulations and the Konoha statutes that direct what either can seize or even accept from an independent state in distress. He's seen how it is around here. I heard that Gamatora guy say that Jiraiya-sama wanted to 'do them right,'" Pakkun explained. Naruto didn't remember that clause of the village charter but would think about it more after she completely woke up.

"Wait. Gamatora? I thought I swallowed that guy! Or was that Gerotora? Hmm. Yeah, that was it. I don't think I've met Gamatora yet."

"You're a weird pup, ya know that?" Pakkun asked. Naruto only shrugged her shoulders back at him. She squeaked at feeling the pins and needles that seemed to overtake her leg when she tried to move it again, before using chakra to hop up to get ready to get showered and dressed.

All of the ninken aside from Pakkun seemed to decide to continue basking in the sun that was coming from Tsunami's wide bedroom window. Stepping into the bathroom, Naruto realized she still had a little follower. "You need a bath or something? I brought your shampoo! It's just in my scroll…" She moved back, however, as Pakkun came further into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Seeing him scratch at his neck again, she thought that maybe she'd have to use the flea and tick shampoo that all the ninken hated.

"So princess. When are you going to tell Boss you're from a different time?" Pakkun asked, then had the audacity to yawn.

"What are you talking about Pakkun?!"

"Look, I don't remember. I just know that I knew you before you came into Boss' life. You looked different then maybe?" He growled a bit and turned around in a circle, looking like he wanted to chase his tiny tail. "You're the Child of… something big. Whether it's the Child of Ramen, which seems very likely, or something more profound, I cannot tell," he lied.

"I can deal with being the 'Child of Ramen,' Pakkun. But if I'm really anything else, I already failed." Naruto sighed and looked up forlornly at the ceiling, not seeing Pakkun's pitying and worried expression. "And Kakashi has enough to deal with. He's put himself out so much by marrying me and everything," she added mournfully. "Every day I'm afraid that I've taken the happy future he deserves and could've chosen differently for himself from him, 'ttebayo." Pakkun bumped his flat little face on her leg, letting her know that he wanted her to sit down so that he could crawl into her lap.

"I won't speak for Boss, but I think he's doing just fine, Naru-chan." He was facing the door, away from her, so he didn't give away his toothy grin. He closed his eyes as Naruto scratched him in all the best itchy places under his clothes and headband. "He'll find out someday, Naruto. Doing things alone and keeping secrets isn't wise and could even corrupt you." Things were silent for a few moments before Naruto moved to turn on the water.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Pakkun, or should I call you Itachi?" Naruto asked, glaring at the pug a little before suddenly grinning like she was the cat who finally caught the canary as he sat wondering why in the world she brought up the Uchiha. "Let's give you a bath and do something about that itching, ne?!"

Tsunami-san was nearly knocked down the stairs by a wild pack of dogs, all running in fear of the dreaded flea shampoo.

"You've been incredibly quiet," Naruto said in her mindscape as she rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.

"What's to say?" Kurama offered before opening his eyes to give his full attention to her. "You've realized how stupid you were to save Sword Man and Ice Boy, have you not?"

"Not at all! Sure, Zabuza was a dick last night, and yes: he went nuts; but he kinda owes me now, ne? Plus we don't have to worry about Gato anymore." She gave him an increasingly big fake smile and bounced at one thing, especially. "Plus just imagine if he and Mei-sama are reunited and they rekindle their love?! Maybe I'll even get invited to the wedding!"

"Disgusting!"

"We just need to find you a lady fox to fawn over, ya know?"

"Tch! You are the last vixen I ever want to deal with, you yellow nightmare," he said with no real heat. She had the nerve to laugh at that. "You have seen what that man could've done to you and the Ningen you care for."

It's not like Naruto had to say anything back to her frustrating but too often-right furry partner. She hadn't been able to sleep until around the time the sun was ready to rise, nearly sick at the memories she received from her clones. First, there were the pitiful prisoners they'd set free. So many women and children… Then there was the carnage that Zabuza inflicted upon those working for Gato, let alone the man himself being hacked into four pieces.

As if Gato's prison and the destruction weren't disgusting enough, what "sweet Haku" had done left a really different impression of him in her mind.

He was so angry. He'd made the entire place feel like… Shaking her head as she wrapped her hair in a towel, she remembered touching her Edo-Tensei-ed father whose body was as cold as ice, too. She looked in the mirror but only saw Haku's incensed expression as he furiously threw senbon at her henged clone who was searching for more of Gato's documents. She remembered another clone wondering if icicles or frost were about to appear along the walls and windows as she tried to hurry before Haku found her.

I'm fine. I'm fine!

Naruto splashed cold water - too, too cold: col like last night - from the sink onto her clean face and only realized at the last second that she'd almost turned to walk out of the bathroom naked. A single chuckle escaped her. Get it together, Naruto! How embarrassing would that be?!

Getting dressed, Naruto supposed that she was rather scary when she got that angry, too. She only hoped that Haku was angry with Gato and his men for the right reasons, and boy were there a lot of valid reasons to hate Gato.

"What are you guys doing here?" Naruto asked the half of Kakashi's ninken that were waiting in front of the bathroom; Shiba had been leaning against the back of the door. She heard Bull bark at her from downstairs, so she made a barking sound back at him.

"I told you. Kakashi's expending chakra, trying to train his expanded coils or something." Naruto's grimace made the dogs all look at her suspiciously. "He has a clone training the brats with Tenzo, who's in a real mood, by the way. He's not looking forward to having his tongue seared off when Jiraiya-sama gets back."

"Searing's not what he has to worry about, ya know? The seal's more likely to explode on him if I'm not careful." She gave the ninken the beginning of a fake evil laugh before sobering up. "Don't worry guys! I won't hurt your cute little kohai!"

"You sound like Boss," Bisuke complained, making Naruto grin as she stepped out onto the porch, letting the ninken out before her. She felt panic surge within her as she watched Sasuke studying Kakashi's clone's Chidori. Her upper arm immediately hurt, badly. The pain seemed far worse than even the time Sasuke ripped that fucking jutsu straight through her chest, although that had been a lifetime ago and more. Maybe she just didn't remember how bad that was anymore.

The pain only got worse.

I can't breathe! Gripping her arm like a vice, Naru fell to her knees, trying to figure out what was going on. This wasn't like a panic attack, this was… feeling a loud painful THUMP in her head, she passed out. I - I meant to ask him not to teach the Teme that jutsu, 'ttebayo. I thought I still had time.

"I'm sorry. About everything. I was wrong. Sakura, stop. Heal Naruto," Sasuke said with real pain in his voice.

"She's not healing," Sakura sobbed.

She smiled at her best friends and teammates and saw Kakashi appear over her, looking terrified. "Naru-chan?"

She was so glad he was here.

She had to live and help Sasuke save everybody! Ma: She's the only one who might be able to help me if Sakura can't. "I've got an idea, Teme, Sakura-chan." Naruto tried to summon an ally. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu" she whispered as her vision was fading after performing the hand signs.

It wouldn't work, though: she only had one hand now.

Naruto came to with a jolt of panic and pushed out a large amount of air. What the hell kind of dream was that? Adrenaline, along with her chakra wildly running through her, made the blonde try to jump up but she was held down by wood. She got her breathing under control and closed her eyes, smiling at the irony. "Did you seriously cage me, Tenzo-sensei?" She wanted to add the word "again," because she remembered him doing it repeatedly in her first life, that jerk. Honestly, it was one of the reasons she gave the man such a hard time now.

Plus all the yelling he did at her when she was training to make a Rasenshuriken, that slave-driver.

Plus, of course, there was the fact that he made bothering him so easy!

Had she not been so distracted by the very small cage she was in, she probably would've been screaming at herself for allowing herself to be so weak again. Honestly, getting so riled up by a stupid nightmare...

What was it that set me off? Oh right, the Chidori: fuck my life... "Mmm? Did you say something?"

"You spend entirely too much time around senpai!" Tenzo scolded. "Are you alright?" He began pulling his Mokuton away from her.

"I am - no seriously, I'm fine!"

"Hn, Dobe, people don't just keel over for no reason."

"Everybody up. I need to speak to Naru-chan alone," Kakashi watched his team walk off after Tenzo released her while continuing to look back at them. "Shoo," he said when Tenzo looked back for the third time. "Let's go inside, shall we?" She followed Kakashi inside and up the stairs.

"Where's Sai?"

"He's guarding Tazuna-san. Although it's hard to believe that anyone could be left after the Mist nin's actions last night, it's best to err on the side of caution. We'll be leaving as soon as the bridge is completed, regardless." Kakashi walked into the spare bedroom and closed the door behind Naruto and put up a seal against the door. He turned to her, his posture completely different, "Honestly, woman: are you trying to give me a heart attack before I'm 30?" His one visible eye showed so much worry, Naruto felt terrible. She took a step toward him, hoping to hold him and give him whatever else he might need, but he turned away.

Naruto stepped back again, steeling herself to be admonished for her actions throughout this entire fucked up mission. But Kakashi only pulled out a mission envelope that looked just like the one she'd nearly forgotten about from his pack. "Hey, I have one that looks just like that, plus a couple of others that are similar." Kakashi nodded but said nothing as he opened the envelope and pulled out a scroll. Just as she was going to retrieve her own, she stopped, shocked at the Killing Intent Kakashi had just spewed. It seemed like he totally lost hold of his very controlled and compressed chakra, and Kami was it terrifying!

It was compressed again nearly as quickly as it had been released. NEARLY, because Naru could still feel large pops of Kakashi's lightning chakra flaring as the man seemed to get himself together and re-read the mission that had been assigned to him. The intense frown on his face worried her.

"Naruto, who was your kunoichi instructor?" he bit out tersely.

I just learned from Yoshino-san. Oh! But of course there was always, "Iruka-sensei." That was followed by another longer flare of Kakashi's angry chakra that had to have startled even the boys outside.

Once he could stand the situation he'd been put in, considering the damn DAIMYO had assigned this bullshit mission to his WIFE, the MATRIARCH OF HIS CLAN, he tried to put himself back in his ANBU Captain role. It should've been easy, but it wasn't. "You and Umino-san have had sexual relations."

Naruto wondered if she'd entered the Twilight Zone. Sputtering and stammering, there were just no words to describe what a... "Nngnnhgnng," she began, her brain melting into fried goo as Kurama took a jab and showed her his idea of Iruka, her big brother/former father-figure doing the horizontal mambo with Anko - who was doing really weird shit to him that she'd never before imagined with snakes.

"Frrruck Ngyuuuu." Kurama laughed at her "words" with a big spirited laugh. Damn Perverted Fox!

Panting a couple of times, Naruto shook her head like one of his ninken and finally got out the words he was so desperate to hear. "Ewww! No!" It would've been fine if they had: just fine. Life would go on. The mission would go on. But dear gods was he relieved to hear that she hadn't had sex with Iruka of all people. "He's really your kunoichi sensei?"

"Well, I was schooled at the Nara residence, ya know?" Naruto said shakily. What in the world is he on about?! I know I'm being childish, but the thought of me and Iruka of all people is just.. "Iruka-sensei was the one who came out to tutor me. When I was little - well I don't remember much - but Yoshino was really angry that the Kunoichi Class instructor wouldn't come out to teach me, too," Naruto said before frowning as she remembered something else that she caught Yoshino and Shikaku discussing once. "I guess when I was at the Academy for a short time, she refused to teach me there, as well: fox and all, ya know."

Kakashi felt infuriated over such discrimination, but the anger was submerged by the grief he felt for her. It was the same sadness and something else that he didn't like that was coming off his little wife in waves. He was afraid to even scent her right now. Mission: get to the mission, Hatake. "Tell me, Naruto: what do you know about seduction?" He tried to ask it casually as he propped himself against his pillows on the wall. He didn't anticipate the answer she gave him.

"Not enough, apparently," she said dryly while looking away from him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said not enough," Naruto crossed her arms under her breasts. "I mean, it's not like you want to do more or anything, no matter what I... Never mind!"

Kakashi felt like he was in the Twilight Zone. What the hell was his little wife talking about him not... "If - if you - if you mean... us, I'll have you know that I have been a gentleman."

"Hmph. Does a gentleman get his wife all hot and bothered, then go off and take a shower or whatever? I don't think so."

Kakashi literally choked. "A - a COLD shower, hime! Many cold ones! What? You can't be serious! I was giving you a chance!"

"You were giving you a chance," she said bitterly. "A chance to leave me. I get it!" Naruto immediately regretted her words, no matter how true they were. How did things escalate to this?! Suddenly Kakashi had his lips on her in a desperate, searing kiss. Her brain fizzled out again as he plundered every bit of her mouth, holding her up by the back of her hair and the small of her back. It wasn't until she was harshly pulled down on top of him that it rebooted.

"Does this feel like I don't want you?" he asked darkly, pressing his clothed rock-hard erection into her core. She rolled her hips back at him, meeting his desperate kisses full force until she was finally sucking his tongue in time with their grinding against each other.

...Just in time for the door to be bashed on by Tenzo. "Oi! Senpai, Naru-chan! Jiraiya-sama is headed back!"

"That guy's definitely getting a kunai right in the tree knot, I can tell you that," Kakashi said heatedly, making Naruto laugh. She kissed him one more time, a little less passionately, then stared into his eye as she raked her nails through his hair. "You mean it, right?"

"Hell yes, I mean it," Kakashi confirmed. Naruto felt her heart soar. Smiling stupidly at him for a bit, she grabbed his hand to yank him up and looked away as he adjusted his clothes and she discreetly pulled at the bottom seams of her shorts. "Ya ready?"

He cursed, then planted a masked kiss to her forehead before "accidentally" falling (ramming) into Tenzo after quickly opening the door. Naruto laughed behind the two men, but as she followed them down the stairs she wondered why in the world he'd been asking questions about Iruka-sensei and "seduction" of all things.