A/N: Hey guys! SteinMon here with another literary experiment. I have way too many idea roaming around in my head, so I thought I'd ease the burden with some Samples. So here's Chapter 1!

This Fic has no relations to the manga by the same name.

Please note, all things I have changed, added, or subtracted are within reason. There won't not be a reason for those changes, and in my mind, it will generally be a good one. But true to Naruto-canon explaining, most (emphasis on "most") of those changes will be through Flashbacks. Hopefully, they'll be tasteful.

That being read, I welcome your Reviews. If you have criticisms, I welcome those too. Please keep them constructive. I want to grow as an author, and I can't do that if people aren't willing to critique, or only want to tear me down. I'm not here to please everybody, but I am here to learn. There is a method to my madness. 90% of what I write, I don't write baselessly. There is a reason some things are changed, and others are the same.

Review Responses:

- ElectricJaylee: Honestly, I'd love to write the jutsu names exclusively in Japanese... but I don't trust my Japanese, Google translate, and I'll be throwing in plenty of self-made jutsu if I keep this story going; so I don't want to butcher anything with a bad translation. Plus, Kishimoto used a translation of Japanese that has repeatedly shown me how fast I can come to tears trying to translate parts of it. The more familiar or base jutsu will retain their Japanese names (such as Rasengan, Chidori, Kawarimi, etcetera) to prevent any confusion (since "Rasengan" literally translates to "Spiraling Ball/Orb/Eye"... which admittedly, doesn't sound as cool).

The reason I use "Believe it!" instead of "Dattebayo!" is because "Dattebayo!" doesn't actually have an exact translation from Japanese. So it's kind of a nonsense word, even as admitted repeatedly by Japanese natives. While I prefer the Japanese version of Naruto for the context it brings, like I mentioned, I'm trying to largely avoid the Japanese translations so I don't butcher them with my own muddling. The best respect I can show the language is by not trying to imitate it at all unless absolutely necessary.

- Giorgiorgio: Honestly, I had to think long and hard on how to respond to you. After all, you were my first flame (and I mean that in a Review context, and yes, I went there). While I had plenty of things I wanted to write to you, you don't have an account on Fanfic for me to PM and settle this quietly, so I will say this: please read the pre-story Authors Note. In all cases, of every chapter, of every story I have written, there is this little note that says "I appreciate criticisms, but keep them constructive" in a nutshell. This is to help me improve as an author.

That being said, I'm gonna be a grocery store cashier clerk with a smile on my face for a second here as I type this and write, Thank you for your concern regarding how my Fanfiction story is labelled character-wise. Please note, this was INTENTIONAL. Unfortunately, Fanfiction only allows for four characters to be part of the labelling, so I had to choose sparsely and wisely, and had no intention of deceiving my readers with a NaruHina centric plot, to which this story does not cater. I also had no desire to use a {NaruHina} character labelling to fish for more readers. I believe I even mentioned it would be "Slow Burn" in the synopsis. The pairing will not take any central focus in the story as of this moment, if at all during the first part of the story should it continue, but will gradually develop as I see fit. I ask that you respect that, and (somehow) find it in your capability to refrain from using crass language to describe me.

If this is too much to ask, you are free to refuse reading my story all together. But if you simply must post, well, that's a free Review right there. Thank you, and have a pleasant time-of-reference.

- Fire: No worries. I am still working on it. It's just slow going.

- Lylybug2004: Thank you! :)

*End of Responses

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Those rights belong exclusively to Kishimoto and Shonen Jump

Without further ado. *Que the dimming of the lights*

Chapter 1: Our Sensei is a Perverted Stalker

"After lunch you'll meet your Jōnin-sensei," Iruka finished up. "Until then, class dismissed."

Naruto sagged in his seat as others began to disappear with their cliques and newly formed teams. 'Ugh, I could be stuck with Sasuke-teme forever!' he groaned to himself, glaring over to the empty seat his self-proclaimed rival once occupied. But he quickly perked up. 'Well, it could be worse. Hinata seems nice, even if she's kinda weird. Heck, we might even be friends.' That thought had him grinning joyously.

"Um… N-Naruto-k-kun." He turned to see said girl poking her fingers together, eyes slightly downcast, and face red.

'She's probably sick if she's always so red. I'll have to make sure she's eating properly so she gets better,' he thought. 'Well, might as well ask since there's no way I'm asking Stupid-teme.'

"Oh, Hinata!" he said with a big smile, scratching his cheek whiskers gently. "I was wondering, would you wanna have lunch with me? I mean, after all, we are teammates now. We should get to know each other."

The red on her face intensified as she slowly met his eyes. It didn't last long before she looked away. "Th-that would be n-nice," she stuttered, looking all the more flustered. 'Eating lunch with N-Naruto? G-get to know each other? L-like a d-d-d–' she couldn't even finish her train of thought without her eyesight blurring together.

She barely noticed his hand grabbing hers until she was looking up into his beaming smile. "Alright! I know just the place! Believe it!"

'He's holding my hand! Don't faint! Don't faint!' "R-right!" she blushed, holding on to the tiniest cord of consciousness.

…

"Welcome in and– Oh! Naruto. What can I getcha?" Teuchi greeted, currently in the middle of boiling noodles.

"Old man!" Naruto met him with a grin, already jumping in a seat of his favorite dining establishment, Ichiraku Ramen. "An extra-large serving of miso ramen with roasted pork, and whatever the lady wants."

"Hmm? Naruto who's your friend?" Ayame greeted as she rounded the corner, looking between him and the bluenette nervously standing behind him.

Hinata let out a little squeak before bowing deeply. "M-my name is H-Hinata Hyuga! It's a p-pleasure to m-m-meet you!" she forced out.

"Hyuga? And so polite," Ayame doted for a moment.

"Hey Hinata, this is Teuchi and Ayame-nee," Naruto introduced while kicking his feet. "They make the best ramen in the whole world. Believe it."

"Shucks, Naruto," Teuchi said with a wide grin. "With a compliment like that, I'll only charge you half."

"ALRIGHT!" Naruto cheered with a grin. "Remind me to compliment the sanctity of ramen more often."

"It's only because you brought a friend," Teuchi stated, still smiling.

"Then remind me to bring friends and compliments more often," Naruto stated, still grinning. Teuchi just chuckled good-naturedly.

Hinata slowly took a seat next to him, her fingers twiddling as her face burned brighter. Her attentions changed when a menu was set in front of her by Ayame. She gingerly took it, doing her best to keep from nervously clenching her fists around the edges.

"So," Ayame leaned in, using a hand to hide her mouth before whispering to the blonde, "is this a date?" She wasn't quiet enough as Hinata's face continued to burn.

'D-d-d-date?' Her eyes were beginning to swirl, sweat forming on her cheeks and smoke exiting her ears.

"What?!" he squawked, his eyes growing wide as his hands swung wildly. "Nonono, she and I are just on the same team."

"Team?" Ayame wondered, looking between both of them before she noticed it. "Oh, you got your headband. So you passed the exam?" Her excitement was contagious.

"Yep! Believe it!" Naruto grinned even wider at being able to show off his headband. After a moment, he was suddenly calm, turning to see a flustered Hinata. "Hmm? Hey, Hinata, aren'cha gonna order something?"

"Y-yes," she got out weakly, her eyes not focusing on the menu she was given. "M-may I h-have what N-Naruto is having? I-I'm afraid I don't kn-know much about r-ramen."

"Of course!" Ayame confirmed with a hand to her cheek. Secretly, in her mind however, 'Oh my Kami, they look so adorable together!' "Hey dad! Double that miso ramen!"

"Extra-large with roasted pork!" the Ramen-master called out. "Got it!"

It was about ten minutes later that Naruto was staring wide eyed at his teammate, his eyebrow twitching with his chopsticks half-raised to his mouth. Bitterly forgotten, some of his noodles plopped back into the broth. Behind the counter, both Teuchi and Ayame were both watching with fascination as well.

Hinata was blissfully ignorant as she gulped down the final contents of her bowl, giving a content sigh as she gently set it back down. "Thank you very much," she chirped, her hands coming together gratefully before setting her chopsticks on the bowl rim. "It was delicious."

"Woah," Ayane whistled, "it looks like you might have some competition Naruto." She looked over at the boy in question, and the completely flabbergasted face he was making as his eyebrow twitched again. "Naruto?"

At this, Hinata began to notice all the attention, her face going flushing under his scrutiny. "I-is something the matter, N-Naruto-k-kun?"

"That. Was. Awesome!" he exclaimed, immediately slurping down his noodles like nothing had happened. "I didn't know you were that amazing, Hinata! I'm gonna have to get Iruka-sensei or Old Man Jiji to treat us both to see which of us can eat more!"

She blushed honestly at his words, not sure how to begin taking such a trivial skill as a compliment. But still, it was a compliment from Naruto, and that alone could make her face heat up and her heart palpitate. With very little to do as she waited on her teammate, she began twiddling with her fingers once more.

"Naruto, its rude to talk and eat at the same time," Ayame chastised, "especially in front of girls."

With a final slurp, Naruto finished his noodles. "Hinata isn't a girl!" he protested before downing the rest of the contents in a few gulps.

Any wind in Hinata's sails immediately fell slack at that statement, blue lines of ensuing misery darkening over her eyes. 'Naruto… doesn't see me as… a girl?' She wasn't sure how she was supposed to react to that, but it felt crushing, like those words stabbed her in the chest. Like… really twisted in there.

Pointing his chopsticks obliviously at a greatly deflated Hinata while addressing Ayame. "She's my teammate and a ninja. Girls are stupid, and keep pining after Sasuke-teme like a bunch of honking geese. But Hinata doesn't, so that makes her better than stupid girls! Believe it!"

'B-better?' Hinata wondered hazily, still partially wounded. But the way he explained it made her feel a lot better. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud smack! and a cry of pain.

"Then what does that make me!" Ayame's eyes were glowing wickedly as the shadow of a smile haunted her features, a rolling pin in one hand tapping the palm of her empty hand with small puffs of noodle flour.

Naruto's eyes widened as he leaned back, barely balancing on his seat. "Gah-uh! It makes you Ayame-nee! And besides, you're too old to be a girl so that makes– Ow!" The next moment, he was laying on the counter, pale as sheet of paper save for the throbbing red welt on top of his head. Smoke exited his mouth, as he mumbled out "Wha' did I say?" in a hurt voice.

Ayame was dusting off her hands in triumph and her eyebrow still ticking. "That's what you get for calling me 'old'."

'But you didn't let me finish!' Naruto protested in his head, his inner chibi crying rivers of tears as it tried to sooth his aching head all better. Why did they always hit him on the head?

"N-Naruto-kun, are you o-okay?" Hinata asked, slightly hovering over him in concern. But not too close of course.

"I'm… okay," he muttered, another puff of smoke leaving his mouth.

Across the street from Ichiraku, a sole figure squatted on a rooftop, glancing down at the interaction with amusement. "Naruto Uzumaki. And Hinata Hyuga. I see they're already getting along. I think it will be very interesting to see how you both develop." However, he kept an eye on their interactions, sighing with some resignation. 'You both need a lot of work, but we'll see.'

Without another word, the figure disappeared in a poof! of smoke.

…

Outside a small second-story apartment…

"Listen up! Since we're on the same team, you're going to follow my lead," Ino directed, watching her two unenthusiastic teammates. 'Why did I have to get stuck in a group with the two "ass"es: lazy-ass and fat-ass? Thank you great-great-grand ancestor for pairing up with their great-great-grand ancestors,' she thought sarcastically.

"Whatever. As long as we don't end up as Red-Shirt-Fodder," Shikamaru dismissed, stuffing a cheek-full of onigiri (rice balls) into his mouth. 'Ino-Shika-Cho couldn't break tradition just this once? Such a drag.'

"I don't care if you lead, Ino, as long as you lead us to the land of milk, honey, and barbeque!" Choji voiced, his cheeks stuffed and an armful of rice balls with his name on it in hand. Literally, they had his name on them.

She just groaned at her teammates. 'This is hopeless.' She turned with a frown, looking out over the outcropping they were lunching on. It wasn't more than a few seconds before she looked down, spying a familiar figure just inside one of the windows. "Hmm? Sasuke-kun?"

"Yep, he's been there the whole time," Shikamaru revealed indifferently, before moving to a jab. "Don't tell me you just now noticed your precious Sasuke-kun."

She bared her teeth at him. 'Damn you Shikamaru.' Her anger was short lived as she continued to fawn over Sasuke, a flowery and sparkly veil emphasizing his every movement as he munched on a rice ball of his own and sipped from a cup. 'Oh, Sasuke-kun,' she fluttered to herself, watching as he took a sip from his cup, as though it was the most surreal thing in the world.

Choji and Shikamaru shared a humored and disappointed glance as Ino began to drool slightly from the corner of her mouth. 'Girls,' they thought simultaneously, shaking their heads in disappointment.

Meanwhile Sasuke was vaguely aware of his spies but continued brooding unaffected. 'They're not important. They're not even trying to mask their presence. Then again, they wouldn't, being safe inside the village and all.' Then he thought about his new teammates, equally disappointed that no one in his class could measure up to his own standards. 'The dobe somehow passed, even though he was dead-last. Whatever jutsu he mastered to pass clearly wasn't in the standard curriculum; which would beg to question why it wasn't taught to me, the last of the loyal Uchiha?'

He took another bite of his food as a scowl formed on his features. 'And now he's on the same team as me. He better not slow me down, or at the very least, act as a proper repellant for those vile banshees.' Que a sparing – but not too obvious – glance up at Ino, which caused him to shiver slightly.

'Then there's the Hyuga. The only girl in the Academy that doesn't worship the ground I walk on.' He found this fact both a relief and troubling, as he washed his food down with a drink. 'But it's clear as day that she likes the dobe. I don't see why. There's nothing special about him… unless… no! People who are weak are attracted to each other, hoping numbers will make up for skill. That's all they are is weak. There's no way they won't drag me down. If that happens, then I won't be able to kill him.' Reassured in his own delusion, he returned his focus to eating, ignoring any approving words he may have thought about them before.

On the roof above the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, also looked down at Sasuke with a hidden presence, the same figure as before watched him closely. "Sasuke Uchiha. I know that look on your face. You'll need the most work, but I'd still like to see how far that attitude of yours gets you before you realize that you'll only get so far by yourself. Still, the other two could learn from your independent view, just as you can learn from their cooperation. But, we'll see how well you all do in the first place."

Yet again, the figure disappeared in a poof! of smoke.

…

Less than an hour later, back at the Academy…

They could only watch as everyone else was whisked away by their new Jōnin-sensei's for some grand adventure or other (most likely individually crafted torture), until finally Team Seven was the sole group left. They stayed patiently – and not-so-patiently – for a while, not a word passed between them for almost an hour before…

"Well this stinks!" Naruto exclaimed, leaning back in his seat. "Some sensei we got if they can't even bother to show up on time."

Silently, Sasuke agreed with him. If one didn't take their careers as shinobi seriously, what was the point. 'Is our sensei really a Jōnin?'

"I'm s-sure there's a good r-reason," Hinata appeased timidly, poking her fingers together as she barely glanced up at her teammates. "Why d-don't we ch-check our equipment while we w-wait?"

"Mmmm," Naruto groaned as he looked back and forth aimlessly before giving in. "Fine. Doing something's better than doing nothing." He turned to look at Sasuke, who just continued brooding toward the front of the class. "Hey Teme! You gonna join us, or is the blackboard just that fascinating?!"

"Tch!" the Uchiha scoffed, jerking his head the other direction. "As if, Dobe."

'Why you!' Naruto took a second to humor what it would feel like to wrap his hands around that skinny neck and shake him like a ragdoll. Then getting promoted, and a very large pay raise, and the Hokage hat, for beating the shit out of that snobby Uchiha. It was a short-lived fantasy as he let loose a sigh. "Fine, Stupid-Teme."

He moved over next to Hinata, who had already brought up her equipment pouch. The two of them began silently sorting through their basic gear together, making note of what each other had; from explosive tags and flash bombs, to kunai and shuriken. There were a few small differences, most notable being Naruto's lack of organization – and therefore wasted space – and cheaper DIY options.

"Um, N-Naruto-k-kun," Hinata stuttered, looking over his gear once it had been sorted, "why d-do you have these?" She held up a small corked glass bottle of dark colored pills, each one no bigger than her pinky nail. "These are B-Blood Plasma P-Pills."

Sasuke perked at that, narrowing his gaze on the bottle. 'They don't hand those out recklessly to Genin,' he thought, looking at his blonde teammate. 'But we just became Genin, so he's had them longer. How did an Academy student get those?'

Naruto just grinned nervously as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I used to get beat up a lot. Not anymore though. But Hokage Jiji and Nee-chan decided that I needed to keep a few of 'em around in case of an emergency. But I heal really fast, so I've never really needed to use any. So I just saved them up every time I got some. I just figured since we're actual ninja now, I should carry 'em just in case."

'Oh, Naruto-kun,' Hinata thought glumly, having been witness to some of those beatings. 'I'm so sorry. I was a coward and didn't help you.' Not that there was much she could have done, still fairly young herself.

'He was given those by the Hokage? And yet he heals quickly,' Sasuke analyzed, thinking back on some of their spars in the Academy. 'He has stamina, I'll give him that. Plus, he may be an idiot, but he was cautious enough to bring them just in-case. If not for himself, then for his team.' The Uchiha wasn't changing his mind anytime soon about the Dobe, but he was ever so slightly impressed at the forethought. Not that he would ever need them of course.

"What about you, Hinata?" Naruto asked, picking up a short wooden cylinder emblazoned with the Konoha leaf symbol, shaking it a little with no obvious effect. "What's this?"

"O-oh, I make my own medical ointments!" she shot out in excitement, before looking down cast in embarrassment at her outburst, her fingers cycling through their familiar dance. "I-It's nothing special. J-Just for m-minor w-wounds and r-rashes. M-most of my c-clan are required to kn-know the r-recipe."

"Huh, well that's cool," Naruto stated as he unscrewed the lid, taking a small sniff of the smooth oil blend. "It smells nice too. Kinda like flowers."

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered. "Who just sticks their nose into stuff?"

"Hey! That's how I figure stuff out!" Naruto proclaimed loudly, sending a glare toward Sasuke. "And since you didn't join us, this is an A-B conversation, so C your way out of it! Didn't those snobby teachers ever teach you not to eavesdrop?!"

"Figure stuff out? What are you, a dog?" Sasuke taunted. "I'm sure the Inuzuka's would like to know about their missing nin-ken."

Naruto's whiskered cheeks twitched as he grumbled under his breath, screwing the lid back on before setting back down among Hinata's equipment. Hinata couldn't help the small giggle that she tried to cover up, watching his face-whiskers squirm.

Satisfied with his olfactory curiosity, Naruto took another inhale to clear his sinuses. While he would never tell anyone, his senses were relatively decent; especially his smell and hearing, maybe just subpar to the Inuzuka Clan's own enhanced senses, but better than most peoples. In addition, it came with great night vision that left the world in scales of pastel yellows and blues. It was cool! But for the longest time, he hadn't known why; assuming that some people probably dealt with the same thing.

But since Mizuki-asshole told him that he was the container of the Nine-Tailed Fox, he figured that was as good a reason as any. It also explained why he roof- and tree-jumped on all fours when all the other ninja only used their legs, but it was something that he'd always done instinctively. Kami only knew what else was weird about him thanks to that stupid Fox. Not that some of those oddities weren't cool. He'd have to ask Old Man Hokage what his thoughts were about it, because obviously, if Mizuki-asshole, Iruka-sensei, and Anko-nee knew; then so did the old geezer.

Without a whole classroom of people and odd scents blending together, it was not only easier to clear his nose, but distinguish between people as well. Besides the smell of old dust and chalk that circulated the classroom, Sasuke smelled like… snn? Snnnnnn… sweat, disappointment, sexual inadequacy, and seaweed from the onigiri he'd eaten. Not really, but Naruto instantly attributed what he smelled to those things out of spite. And a little bit of sage that was found in generic Konoha soaps; the cheap kind that Naruto was all too familiar with. Curious.

Due to her close proximity, Hinata's scent was the strongest; sweet and subtle like pears, with a hint of what Naruto assumed was hinoki (japanese cypress pine) and honey, and something vaguely flowery; like some of the wild flowers just above the Hokage Monument. A soft and mellow scent for a shy girl, but still reminiscent of her ninja heir status; befitting in its own way. It was kinda nice compared to all the stinky, overpowering perfumes that most girls wore for their precious Sasuke-kun. Very… natural.

Then there was the other guy who smelled familiar. Something like dog, sexual repression, ozone, everything south of depressed, paper, and something slightly musty. Plus he wouldn't stop giggling under his breath in that weird perverted way that Hokage-Jiji did when he read his nasty adult books, which Naruto found absolutely annoying. Which was stupid! Given that smut was–

Naruto's eyes widened as it finally clicked. Three kunai flew from the organized pile before he tackled Hinata behind the desk ("EEEP!"), his eyes instantly scanning the ceiling as he rolled over. He noticed the remains of a 'Ceiling Disguise Tarp (Wooden Board Pattern #53)' now suspended by the throwing knives he'd tossed without thinking. 'I knew it! I knew there was something fishy about the ceiling!' He turned to get up, only to be met with resistance. 'Hmm? Hinata? Hinata!' She was out cold, cooing happily under her breath.

Sasuke immediately drew a pair of kunai, eyes glancing this way and that in anticipation of an attack the moment he saw the tarp edges drop. "Alright, show yourself!" he demanded, scanning the room carefully. Whoever had been on the ceiling appeared to be gone–

"Now is that anyway to greet your sensei?"

Sasuke jumped forward at the indifferent whisper that had grazed his ear, swinging around with kunai bared. In front of him was man in Konoha infantry blue, topped with a Jōnin flak jacket. He wore a mask over his face, his headband was unceremoniously slanted to cover up his left eye, and spiky silver hair dipping to the left with it. "Yo," he greeted with an eye smile, squatting atop one of the desk tables, an orange book in hand. Without further ado, he continued reading.

"Who are you?" Sasuke demanded, his guard not lowering in the slightest.

"That's an interesting question isn't it?" the masked figure stated, not looking up from his book, as though he barely registered as a threat, if at all. "Mmm, I don't feel like telling."

"Hinata! Hinata! C'mon! Wake up! We're under attack!" Both Sasuke and the mask turned to see Naruto shaking Hinata, who was warm pink with a limp smile on her face, her eyes swirling ecstatically. She was clearly not in the land of the conscious.

Sasuke and the mask felt a sweat-drop run down their necks at the scene.

"Um, how do I put this?" the mask wondered, quietly putting away his book while his other hand stroked his chin. "My first impression of this group? Let's see: If you're all lucky, you might serve as proper cannon fodder doomed to die horrible, excruciating deaths."

Any hope that might have graced the faces of those who could still hear drew out as darkness obscured their eyes. Hinata continued, blissfully unaware.

The masked Jōnin sighed, putting a hand to his head as though he had a headache before looking over at Naruto. "Once you wake up your friend, meet me on top of the academy. We'll begin introductions then." And with that, he Shunshined away in a blur.

"Who does that guy think he is?!" Naruto demanded loudly, his teeth gritting angrily.

"That… was probably our Jōnin-sensei," Sasuke explained, still not quite convinced of it himself.

Naruto had only one word to say.

"WHAAAAAT!" Birds flocked from their roost in terror of the undignified shriek.

…

The masked Jōnin sat against the roof's railing, staring at the three seated Genin that were assigned to him with a bored expression; at least, from what little of his face they could see. The Uchiha on one side, Uzumaki on the other, and Hyuga in the middle.

"Alright, glad you three could make it," he said indifferently. "It only took you twenty minutes."

"Hey! Says the guy who was over an hour late!" Naruto shot back.

"I wasn't late," the Jōnin countered. "I was in the room the whole time. It's not my fault you failed to notice me for a whole hour."

"That's even worse! That makes you a stalker and a pervert!" Naruto continued.

The Jōnin had the decency to sweat-drop. "Pervert?" he asked with crossed arms.

Hinata stiffened at the mentioning of "Stalker", her face going red and her fingers fiddling together.

"You were doing that little giggle that Old Man Hokage does whenever he's reading his dirty books! So that makes you a Pervert! Obviously!"

'So he could hear that. Interesting. I'll have to contain myself better next time,' Kakashi thought, glancing off to the side. 'Well… it was a very good part.' He had to suppress a giggle just thinking about it. Lord Aiyoku was at the shrine, having poured his "passions" repeatedly into Lady Kikoeru, slowly molding their bodies together, so eventually their hearts would also be molded together as clay from the same earth. And in the throngs of passion they'd–

"Regardless, you were aware of my presence since before class had even ended," the Jōnin accused, forcefully redirecting his mind. He had almost giggled out of reflex at the lovely image that left in his head. "Why not confront me then?" The other two looked at Naruto curiously.

"You kn-knew he was th-there, Naruto-k-kun?" Hinata blushed out, her face still bright as a cherry.

'At initial first-glance, I'm rather disappointed she didn't pick up on me with her Byakugan,' Kakashi admitted to himself as he glanced at Hinata Hyuga, 'but given her relative comfort zone and home life, it's unsurprising. However, she attempted to keep group morale up, and even initiated an exercise to take inventory to pass the time. Where the boys would probably butt heads repeatedly, she acts as a buffer. So, not hopeless, but with room for growth. A lot of room considering she passed out the moment the person of her interests startled her.' That too, was an interesting development. He'd have to keep an eye on that, if only so he could use it as inspiration for the Fanfiction he was writing for his beloved Icha Icha author. Not that he didn't have plenty of inspiration already, but a little more never hurt.

"I didn't actually know you were there," Naruto snapped back, directing his fury toward the Pervy-Stalker, "all I thought was that the ceiling looked funny. I didn't actually notice until right before I threw the Kunai!"

'Spot on instincts,' Kakashi considered over the blonde, 'really slow and dense, but once it kicked in, he acted to flush out a possible threat, and then instinctively moved to shield his teammate from any possible backlash, whether he was aware of it or not. Sabotaged education and training, so his foundation is lacking, but he makes up for it by pushing his limits and general street smarts. But, there is potential, especially if what he said about hearing me is true. However, his follow up was atrocious.'

"Special Rule," the mask stated, holding a finger up from his crossed arms. "If you have a gut feeling, follow it, and prepare for it. It's better to be safe than sorry. Had I been an enemy shinobi, I guarentee, you all would have been dead.

"Now! On that happy note, let's go ahead and introduce ourselves one at a time," he finished, just oozing cheer.

'Seriously?! After a statement like that?' Naruto grumbled, before getting frustrated as he eyed him over, his nose twitching with small sniffs. 'And why does this guy seem so familiar?'

"You want us to introduce ourselves?" Sasuke asked. "In what context?"

'Sense of surroundings was lacking. Too engrossed in brooding on his revenge,' Kakashi thought while looking at Sasuke. 'However, the moment he registered "enemy" contact, he was in a battle-ready stance that he didn't drop. Although, he was way too easy to sneak up on. Overall, the most battle-developed of the group, and thanks to all the extra attention to his education, the most prepared. Some possible residual trauma from the Uchiha Massacre, and virtually no awareness, assessment, or care for his teammates.'

"Things you like. Things you hate. Dreams for the future. Hobbies. Stuff like that," he answered, his voice completely passive.

"Um, c-could you p-perhaps go f-first?" Hinata managed out slowly, tapping her fingers together. She didn't like being the one on the spot. "Th-that way w-we have an example t-to follow."

'When she asks like that, it's almost precious,' he humored.

"Me?" he pointed to himself as he thought about his answer. "I'm Kakashi Hatake. Things I like and things I hate? You'll have to earn the privilege of knowing.

"My dreams for the future? …Maybe when you're all a little older.

"My hobbies? …Well, I'd have to kill you if I told you."

'Your hobby is reading dirty smut books,' Naruto glared accusingly, almost broadcasting it to his teammates.

'At least he told us his name,' Hinata thought positively, before looking down, 'even if we don't know anything else about him.'

'Pointless. Do we really have to do this?' Sasuke returned, unable to keep the displeasure off his face.

"Alright, you're turn," Kakashi stated as he gestured to the kids, find his first victim in Sasuke. "And since your face volunteered, you. Short, dark, and brooding, you go first."

A tick mark appeared behind Sasuke's head as Hinata giggled and Naruto snickered, but he took a deep breath as he prepared his piece. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha," he began, letting a sort of dark indifference enter his tone as he kneaded his fingers together in front of him, "I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything.

"What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to return my clan to its rightful status, and kill the man who destroyed it in the first place. With my own hands."

'Holy Kami! How long did he spend practicing that in front of a mirror?' Naruto snickered to himself. His teammate wasn't anywhere near as threatening as his big sister after all.

'It's so sad he has to bare the weight as the last of his clan, but his dream is to… kill someone too,' Hinata thought in abject horror. Everything about that made her uncomfortable.

'That was predictable,' Kakashi dismissed mentally. 'We'll have to work on that. Or at least objectively tone it down.' "Alright, now you, bright eyed and bashful, you're next."

"Um, yes…!" Hinata began to squirm under everyone's gaze, her face becoming redder and redder. "…I'm Hi-Hi-Hinata H-Hyuga," she forced out, keeping her arms close to her chest to create a barrier between her and everyone else. "I l-like…" que the subpar nervous glance to an extra-dense Naruto "…c-cinnamon rolls and… g-going for w-walks (right, "walks"). I dislike bullies… and I…" she had to work extra hard to get the word out "…h-h-hate the rift between my clan.

"Um… for d-dreams, I… I just want to be accepted by my clan and m-m-maybe…" que another glance at Naruto. "…um for hobbies, I g-garden a little and p-press flowers."

By the time she had finished, there was a small trail of smoke leaving her ears.

'Wow,' Naruto wondered in amazement. 'I think that's the most I've heard out of Hinata at one time. I know she's shy and stuff, but that looked almost painful. I hope she doesn't faint again. I'll have to make sure she eats more Ichiraku to get her strength up.'

'Hn!' Sasuke scoffed. 'How does she expect to be a shinobi when she can't even speak straight? …On second thought, silence is generally the more preferred shinobi skill over diplomacy. So she's not completely hopeless after all.'

Kakashi nodded in acknowledgement, making special note of the areas where her speech was clearer than others. 'You have a long road ahead of you, but you have admirable goals. Well, one of them is anyway. But your drive is noteworthy.' "Alright, even shorter and blondie, you're up."

"Blondie?!" Naruto demanded.

"It's either "blondie" or "numb-skull". Your choice," his sensei sweetly offered.

Grumbling at the nickname choices, Naruto straightened up for his introduction. "Believe it!" he exclaimed with a grin. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I like ramen, especially the ramen at Ichiraku Ramen. I also like learning new jutsu, and I especially like eating ramen with Hokage-Jiji, Onee-chan, or Iruka-sensei even if they keep telling me I shouldn't always eat ramen. I'm gonna have to borrow from Hinata a bit. I hate bullies and disrespectful jerks who think they're high and mightier than everybody…!" 'Thinking about you Sasuke!'

Sasuke was unaffected.

"Eh, for hobbies, I like eating and comparing ramen. I also enjoy pranks and taking care of my plants, especially my rosemary bushes 'cause they smell so nice. As for my dream…." He adjusted his forehead protector, his grin growing larger if that was even possible. "…I'm gonna be the dopest, most awesomest Hokage the Leaf Village has ever seen, so people will start respecting me and seeing me as someone important."

Hinata smiled at his dream, seeing that same inspirational figure she'd long since admired. 'I wonder if he'd like to talk about his plants?' So far, it was something they had in common.

'Just as expected,' Sasuke thought indifferently, 'a loser like him can't even do something remotely interesting. Everyone and their dog wants to be Hokage.' (Somewhere, Kiba Inuzuka and Akamaru sneezed simultaneously)

'Kami-damnit Kushina!' Kakashi thought silently, doing his best to keep his face from smiling on reflex before he disguised it in a sigh. 'He took after you both. Minato-sensei. Kushina-san.' The resemblance was staggering. It was both painful and reassuring.

"Um, sensei? Are you crying?" Hinata asked worriedly.

"Hmm?" The Jōnin put a finger to his eye, realizing that it was indeed wet. "Oh. Must have been a speck of dust." He turned to Naruto. "What was that you said Blondie?"

'Grrrr!' Naruto fumed, unaware of the Jōnin's inner thoughts.

"Well, now that you've prominently put your hopes and dreams out on display, I have some bad news and worse news," Kakashi baited, noting their suddenly attentive postures. 'Good, I have their attention.' "The bad news is: you're not actually Genin. Not yet."

"WHAT!" Naruto exclaimed, taking enough voice for the others before he started deflating. "But we graduated from the Academy, and learned a cool jutsu, and kicked Mizuki-asshole's ass and everything." He stared wide-eyed at the ground as this revelation seemed to kick in. "We worked hard to get here."

'I… I didn't actually become… a Genin,' Hinata despaired. There would be no forgiveness from her family now.

Sasuke took the news in stride, waiting for the "But?" in there somewhere. Because there had to be a "but". He couldn't catch up with Itachi if he didn't graduate now! Where was the "but"?! 'Damnit Sensei! Where's the "but"?!'

Kakashi sighed, waiting for the others to speak up, but they seemed content with listening or moping; if not looking completely shattered. 'That makes things simpler.' "The graduation test was a sort of… qualification test, to see if you were worthy of becoming Genin. Of the twenty-seven Genin-hopefuls in your class, an average of nine of you are going to pass and become official Genin. A waste of resources in my opinion, but I didn't write the Academy curriculum.

"However…." He could see a little life jump back into them at that. "…The worst news is that I alone decide whether you pass. Or fail. That means your current ninja career is dependent on my will, and my will alone.

"Like the other Jōnin with teams, we will be putting you through a test to see if your worthy of being Genin. Consider it your final exam. If you pass, you become Genin. If you fail, you get sent back to the Academy." He let that process for a moment. "We'll be meeting at Training Ground Three at 5 AM tomorrow morning. Bring your ninja gear, and anything else you think might help."

He was about to turn and leave before remembering. "Oh, and don't eat breakfast. It would be a shame if you lost it before it properly digested. But better out than in, right?"

Kakashi took a moment to observe them. Hinata was downcast, probably thinking about the "dishonor" she'd bring to her family if she didn't pass. It was a shame to see someone so kind brought down so low, but with a kind heart like hers, it might be better if she didn't become a ninja at all, no matter her family's expectations. This was an occupation that rarely allowed one to keep their innocence, as precious as thing as it was.

And Sasuke, even in his brooding, his hands were trembling, undoubtedly thinking about the brother who was still so far away from his reach. Revenge was a powerful motivator, but it wouldn't get him far, no matter how hard he tried to use it to span the distance. There would always be a stop-gap, a chasm he couldn't cross as long as that drove him.

And Naruto. Kakashi honestly didn't want to see his sensei's son look so defeated. It physically hurt to see him staring at the ground, like he was lost. From what he little he knew of the boy, he had no other ambition than to be a ninja (not that village bullshit politics would allow it's only Jinchūriki into any other life). What would Minato-sensei say? But there was nothing more he could do. They would have to pass or fail on their own merit, and Kakashi wasn't about ready to skew his principals, no matter who might be entering under his wing.

'I have high hopes for you three, but life is cruel. Especially the life of a shinobi. If I'm honest, I'd rather fail you, hoping you'll be a little older and wiser next year. But life doesn't wait for that either. The Third Shinobi War was proof of that. I think Sensei would understand that. The sooner you all learn it, the better.'

"Bullshit."

"Hmm?" Kakashi looked at the source of the noise.

The blonde's head whipped up, glaring blue daggers into Kakashi as he slapped his hand to the ground. "I said "BULLSHIT"!

"I worked my ass off to graduate, and you have the balls to tell me all that hard work was for nothing!" Naruto smiled like he was ready to tackle him head-on, a wild look in his eye that Kakashi found reminiscent of his mother. "Let me tell you something Kakashi-sensei: we're gonna show up tomorrow, we're gonna ace your stupid test, and then you're gonna eat those words when you're stuck training us! Because like it or not, I'm gonna be the best damned Hokage you've ever seen! And when I am, yours will be the first ass I kick when I wear that hat! Believe it!"

'Idiot!' Sasuke smirked, his trembling stopped. 'You didn't have to get all worked up about it. Of course I'm passing.'

'Naruto-kun? He's right. I can't let this get me down. I have to do my best,' Hinata affirmed to herself, pulling her best determinate face as she stared at Kakashi.

Inside Kakashi was smiling. 'Maybe. Just maybe.' "Then I'll see you all tomorrow."

Author's Note:

Heads-up: I'm not sure how often I'll be posting these yet, or if it will continue. This is mostly to relieve the pressure on my brain. Because it's a Sample Story, if I get serious about writing this, it will be subject to changes. So not everything here will be gospel if I come back to it.

I have the next couple chapters laid out, so... we'll see.