DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, Naruto speaking to Kurama, etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

If Sasuke were being honest with himself, he'd have to admit that he was relieved that Naruto - Naruto: the Dobe - had at some point married their taicho. But it was just so… strange!

"Sasuke, this is the little girl Mother told you about. Naruto-chan, this is my little brother, Sasuke-chan."

"Don't call me Sasuke-chan! It's Sasuke-kun, or just Sasuke, Aniki!"

The yellow-haired girl, who looked too bright to be real and also looked like a boy just laughed. "That's all right, Sasuke: it's nice to meet you." Sasuke wondered how the little girl could look at him so warmly yet seem so sad. Suddenly her smile stretched from ear to ear, so much that her eyes closed. "My name's Naruto, but you can call me Dobe, and I'll call you Teme!"

"Naruto!"

The little girl just laughed, but Sasuke saw the way she winced as she did so, and wondered what was wrong with her.

"Are you hurt, Dobe?"

"Sasuke!"

"That's what she told me to call her!"

Naruto was the same brand of strange when she "returned from the dead," and it was hard to believe that anyone would want to marry her. Supposedly It- That Man was to be her husband, and Sasuke felt the irrational need to step in to… To do what? To protect her honor after she was already married?! He scoffed at his thoughts, wondering how much That Man had damaged his psyche to now have such ludicrous ideas.

When Danzo approached him about marrying Naruto, (after he realized that it was Naruto that the bandaged man had been talking about,) he had wanted to barf no matter how strong her genes were. Naruto was, or had been, his sister even if it was only for a few years.

"Her father was your brother's godfather, honey: that makes her your sister. You and Itachi-kun have to look out for her, just like she'll look out for you!" Sasuke didn't understand why his father scoffed at that, but when he looked back up at his mother, he saw that the noise his father made had made her angry. "He would've been yours, too, if…"

"That's enough, Mikoto."

"Sasuke, can you put the napkins on the table, please? I need to have a word with your father."

Sasuke remembered peeking into the kitchen after he'd made sure the table was set, only to find his sweet mother tapping a wooden spoon on his father's chest almost menacingly as she made low threats to him.

"...and if you hadn't taken Itachi out into the battlefield, I wouldn't have HAD to request Mini to be his godfather! Someone responsible needed to step up!"

"Don't call him that: the damn fool! And I acquiesced, didn't I? But that… girl... cannot be here, Miko!"

"Tell your son and nephew that! They're looking out for her and they love that girl! In fact, I'm going to find those papers that Kushina and I put together so she can marry Itachi!"

"That was supposed to be Sasuke! And it'll never be allowed, Miko."

"I don't want to get married!" His voice had been so small and whiny!

"Oh, Sasuke! Oh, no, honey… It's okay, come here to Kaa-chan…"

It was dumb, self-sacrificing, and absurd to defend the Dobe's engagement to his brother - That Man - after That Man destroyed their entire family. What? Did he want Naruto to marry the clan-slaying missing-nin? ...The rogue? Granted, that would get her out of his hair, but he didn't truly want that for her. And at least this way, he never had to think of marrying, or gods forbid, making Uchiha babies with her again.

Danzo could go to hell for all he cared. Sasuke would find another woman to build his clan with, gladly.

...Although he really wasn't feeling it; he was sure that he would later on after he killed That Man. One way or another, Uchihas respected marriage. Love was the foundation of marriage, and marriage was the foundation of a family. Of a clan.

"Fine. I accept your union," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

"Maa, maa! That's just what I wanted to hear." Taicho said as he ruffled his hair; (Sasuke tried to dodge.) "You can't imagine how anxious I've been, just waiting to get your approval," the silver-haired Jonin added, just as sarcastically.

"Hn."

"You're both ridiculous," Naruto whispered as she rubbed her temples. She looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and was blushing like the baka she was, Sasuke thought. "I'm going with Baa-chan; I'll see you at home, Kakashi," she said before squeaking as she dodged her husband's arms and ran off.

Sasuke watched her leave and dropped his shoulders, sighing loudly before looking around at the mess surrounding them.

"Better clear all this debris," Tenzo-sensei said as he smacked away the dust that was covering his hands.

Sasuke still wanted to get his beauty sleep and wondered if dealing with his strange comrades and their actions were worth learning whether or not Senju Tsunade had returned to the village. Almost everyone he could think of, aside from the Hokage, Danzo, and his two cronies - a fact that was just fine by him - was here, picking up the rubble from the bar that Green Boy had destroyed. For the first time, Sasuke was glad that he wasn't fighting Rock Lee instead of the redheaded Sand nin in the Finals.

Who knew that the green Genin could do THIS much damage?

Tenzo-sensei was using earth jutsus and his Mokuton to both pack debris into the earth, and to rebuild the bar. Oddly enough, it seemed like all of the tables and such had survived Lee's "attack," and when two Akimichis removed the sidewalls that had fallen over, Sasuke was surprised to see that the bar - the area that held the liquor behind it - was completely intact.

"Seals, huh?" Shikamaru asked from behind Sasuke, startling him. "Is the bar owner a retired ninja?"

"No," Kakashi answered and didn't say anything else until Shikamaru's stare seemed to bother the captain enough to continue. "Maa, he's an old friend of Jiraiya-sama's. Tsunade-hime's, too, I think."

"So seals are what's holding it in place. Hmm. Can you show me how to make them, Kakashi?"

Sasuke observed the continuing conversation between his taicho and the lazy bastard that had beaten him out for Rookie of the Year - not that the Nara was really trying. (That was embarrassing.) He was almost jealous: no, he was jealous of the relationship between his Copy Nin taicho and the Nara. Naruto considered that guy to be her brother: it was obvious because of how warmly or sometimes hotly she spoke of or to the Nara, so that meant that the two men were brothers-in-law.

He would never admit it out loud, but it hurt. Brother-in-law? That was what he was supposed to be to stupid Naruto.

"Sasuke!"

Sasuke looked up into the blank mask that was his temporary master. "What?"

"Gah! You are such a rude brat! I saw you being broody and wanted to check on you!"

For the second time tonight, Sasuke unsuccessfully dogged having his hair ruffled.

"Hn."

Well after midnight, Jiraiya slowly walked Naruto home. Each of them was in his or her own thought bubble, but Jiraiya guessed that Naruto was thinking along the same lines that he was. "You're worried."

"Damn right, I'm worried," Naruto whispered before stopping in her tracks. She closed her eyes just to be sure and could've jumped for joy at not having ROOT agents following her for once. Jiraiya must have scared them off. "I'm worried about her, and I'm worried about the village," she said quietly, shaking her head. "...And I never knew how differently kunoichi are treated, compared to shinobi."

"That's because you're the jinchuuriki," Jiraiya said simply, feeling bad that his god/granddaughter had the blinds ripped from her eyes tonight. The kunoichi forum he'd attended, invited to but henged, had opened even his eyes more to what those women had to go through, too. He learned things that he never wanted to know, and had no previous idea of how much just plain discrimination hurt them. ...Hurt the village. He looked at Naruto's pained face as she continued staring at the ground as they walked toward the Hokage Mountain's steps.

"Baa-chan really will make an excellent Hokage," Naruto said as she moved closer to her god/grandfather.

Jiraiya tried to lighten things up but needed to warn her about what she'd just said. "You call her grandma, but you don't call your poor grandfather by his title," he said in a nearly whiney voice. The brat scoffed.

"Oh please! I know you better - I mean, this time, ya know. And... before, actually," Naru responded, darting her eyes around to make sure they really were alone. It was best to be paranoid. "I guess I could call you Ero-Jiji; it seems weird though."

"You could just drop the 'Ero,' Naruto."

"Where's the fun in that?!" Naruto said, smiling cheesily.

"Brat," Jiraiya said in exasperation. Where was the respect?! "And watch what you say, Naru-chan." His voice dropped down to a whisper. "You're already being watched. If it's ever learned that you're even thinking about installing a new Hokage..."

"Hang on," Naruto said, waving her hands and turning toward him. "All I'm saying is that Baa-chan would make a good Hokage. Just like Itachi would have."

"Geez... You are impossible! Just like your mother and... grandmother, come to think of it."

"How are you doing with her?" Naruto asked as they walked into her home's border. Jiraiya, being the person who put the seals surrounding her home down, was obviously keyed into it. "Are you two getting along better?"

Jiraiya stopped and looked up at the stars, which were very clear and twinkling all over the night's sky. "I - I respect Tsunade as a person, as a kunoichi... As even a potential future leader, really. But we have a long way to go before I can respect her as a friend. Guhhh," he pseudo-articulated, groaning, "it seems we aren't alone anymore," Jiraiya stopped, seeing that Kakashi was making his way toward them.

Naruto blushed like a fool, she figured, seeing that Kakashi had walked outside in only his cotton pajama pants. She'd missed him so much while she'd been on the mountain, and he just had to go and greet her looking so sculpted and hot, but Jiraiya was here! The damn Super Pervert was probably going to put this scene in a book.

Jiraiya sneezed.

"You'll be staying at an inn tonight, Jiriaya-sama?" Kakashi asked, making Naruto cover her face in embarrassment.

"Be nice, Kakashi!"

Jiraiya twisted his lips in irritation and was annoyed that he had to bend - only somewhat - to Kakashi's perverted ill will. "I was only walking my granddaughter home for now, but I need to go back and see Tsunade," he said, bemoaning the change in their relationship. Usually, he was eager to see Tsunade. "You two do what you're going to do, but use protection for Kami's sake: the last thing I want to see is her knocked up right now." Jiraiya ignored the way Kakashi paled at his warning while Naruto was now bent over, failing to effectively crawl underground with an earth jutsu.

She was really terrible at them, especially when she wasn't focused! "Finish up by the time I'm back because although the silencing seals are helpful: when your headboard keeps hitting the wall, it keeps me awake."

He couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter when his granddaughter actually made her way underground in embarrassment, just to be pulled out by his... Grandson-in-law? Whatever. "I'll be back in an hour or so."

Watching Hatake-brat grab his granddaughter's hand and gleefully run into their home, he could only smile, despite himself. Two dense, attractive, scarred people finding happiness? That would make a beautiful story. He pulled out his journal and began writing an entirely new time-traveling narrative, only eventually leaving to go find his slightly treasonous kunoichi teammate.

"I don't see why I can't just wipe my blood here and there and pseudo-Hiraishin myself," Naruto commented, stretching her sore muscles: she was sure that Kakashi was a sex god and really needed to learn how to keep up with him. It was wonderful: she loved him so much! Now she wouldn't be back to him and the village until the finals unless something happened. She and Jiraiya had left a messaging toad with the Hokage, just in case.

She and her godfather/grandfather were now back on the mountain, after spending the morning placing real barrier seals in various places around the village - especially along the village's outer walls.

Jiraiya frowned at his god/granddaughter, wondering if she was not-so-secretly an idiot. "One, you can't just go bleeding all over the place! Kyuubi or not, you'll run out or more like tire yourself out at some point from blood loss. Two: blood washes off in the rain. Three: sunshinning could do the job nearly as well, and four: what the hell are you even talking about?"

"I can show you," Naruto said cheerily. She wiped some blood on the tree next to her, then ran over to another tree, wiping blood on it. Showing off her father's kunai, she went through three hand signs and flashed from one tree to another, back and forth... Back and forth, before falling over and grabbing her gut with one hand, the other waving around to help her stay upright. "Whaa... So dizzy."

Jiraiya wasn't sure what to think. Her idea made sense, but it was also silly. And coming up with weird shortcuts when it came to jutsus was dangerous. Somehow, perhaps because of Naruto's enormous (almost unheard of) chakra reserves, Naruto pulled off techniques that were new, altered, or overly chakra-intensive, more than anyone he'd ever seen or heard of. He couldn't say that genius was driving her, but madness? Yeah, that might be it.

Very Uzumaki-like.

"I can sense where my blood and chakra are if I concentrate on the markers, so just think what I could do! I could be at one end of the village, but summon myself to the other side where my blood is."

"I suppose," Jiraiya agreed before continuing his thoughts in a much lower voice, "you little weirdo." He internally cursed her abnormally good hearing, wondering just how incredible her future "puppies'" senses would be, considering that Hatakes were known for their incredible senses, among other things. Possessive, jealous, bossy, pack-oriented; the whole biting thing... He scratched the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly, forcing himself to ignore the way his goddaughter winced when she moved sometimes, as he tried to restrain his impulse to go kill the masked silver-haired nuisance that she was so happily stuck with. "We don't have time to waste on the Hiraishin right now and your ability to sunshin between your clones, and their ability to replace themselves will sustain you through the finals. Now, how will you evade Akimichi's techniques?"

"It's not so much how I'll evade him, Ero-sennin, it's more how I can defeat him while allowing Choji to show his abilities," Naruto replied, remembering how Gaara had executed such a thing so flawlessly in the prelims. It was up to Suna whether or not to promote Gaara's preliminary opponent, but at least he'd had an opportunity to show what he could do. She stopped before she could say anything else, feeling Shukaku stir in her mind. "Who's Pakura?"

"Shakuton no Pakura?" Jiraiya asked, shivering a bit as he did so. "Why are you asking about that hot mamma? Eurgh: literally HOT mamma, if you know what I mean," he added, wiggling his big white eyebrows while a shudder shot through him. "She's a Suna kunoichi... Known for her Scorchin'..."

"I think she's going to be the Kazekage," Naruto exclaimed, listening to Shukaku ramble on in that screechy voice while arguing with Kurama as Chomei tried to mediate between them was distracting. "Umm, Shukaku's not sure, but Gaara... doesn't want the job? What the fuck?!"

"Can you blame him, Naruto?" Jiraiya asked although he wasn't sure the little blonde was listening to him. "I will certainly NEVER want the hat, and you said that you used to want to be Hokage... Is that sand demon really talking to you right now?"

"Ugh! Don't call him that: it pisses us off. And yes," Naruto said, wincing as she rubbed her head, "they're all three talking. One at a time, dammit!"

"That can't be healthy, Naru-chan," Jiraiya said, genuinely worried about the little multi-bijuu holder. Naruto said she just had a sliver of the one and seven tails' chakra, but once again, that wasn't normal. The Toad Sage made a clone to go investigate the Sand situation again, doubting that they would be sending their Genin to the exams now.

"Wait," Naruto said, looking unusually serious as Jiraiya guessed she was listening to the bijuu. Normally it only took her a moment - sometimes only a second - for her to have a conversation with "Kurama" but this one was taking longer. The jinchuuriki was also paling.

"Naruto, you need to listen to me very carefully."

"Alright. What's up, Fuzzy?' Surprisingly, neither Chomei nor (particularly) Shukaku laughed at the nickname.

"I have had time to confer and commiserate with my brothers. Did you recognize the seal that Orochimaru tried to use in the Forest? The large one?"

Naruto hadn't thought much of the seal: she'd been too busy trying to stay alive and watch out for her teammates, too. And Karin: gah!

"No. Sorry. What of it?"

Kurama took a deep breath, knowing that the kit needed to know this, but afraid that she might start wailing or otherwise freak out. She was always so damn loud! "That seal was designed to pull out and house me or one of my brethren."

Naruto knew he wasn't joking, and felt physically sick just thinking about it. "You... How could that bastard snake put you in a seal? You said that you could never be housed by something like that teapot..."

"Kurama, you asshole! I can't believe you told her about that damn teapot," Shukaku yelled. Naruto covered her ears. "It's not a normal teapot, Mother!" Naruto nodded her head in acknowledgment and walked over to pat his furry hand to reassure the loud tanuki. She could feel how aggravating that was for Kurama and wondered how and why in the world this was her life.

Jealous fox.

"The seal Kurama showed us that he had seen the snake/human hybrid attempt to use looked too much like what the Akatsuki members used when Shukaku and I were pulled away from Gaara and Fu," Chomei said worriedly. Naruto could feel the anxiety rolling off of him in enormous waves, too, and moved toward the rhinoceros beetle, not quite sure of how to comfort him. She rubbed her hand along his hard shell above where his nose was - or where it should be. It was kind of hard to tell. The bijuu leaned into her and made a soft humming sound. Kurama scoffed and Naruto glared at him, shaking her head at him to silently remind him that he should behave himself.

"We believe the seal may have been for temporary use," Shukaku said before Kurama took over.

"You need to do something about this, Naruto. Tell that Pervert and come up with solutions! Go!"

"Wait just a damn minute," Naruto bewailed. "What am I supposed to do? Oh, you want a seal to prevent this or something?"

Shukaku nodded his head enthusiastically. "The sealing array the Akatsuki used is powerful, Naruto: it took a massive amount of chakra to enable it, and days to extract us," (Naruto winced at that, remembering how anguished she had been when Gaara was taken in her first life, and how it had to have been so much MORE awful for her friend,) "but the snake had to know he didn't have much time, and he certainly didn't have enough chakra to take Kurama - or any of us - on his own."

"You need to destroy that seal and the snake," Kurama said. Naruto nearly stumbled, looking comical as she obviously wondered how she was going to do such a thing. "Additionally, you need to find the Uzumaki Shrine and secure it."

There was little doubt that her face showed just how bewildering even the idea of that was to her, Naruto figured. "There's an Uzumaki Shrine?!" The bijuu shrank back, and Naruto had to apologize for being so loud. It was so shocking, though! "You guys are asking a lot all at once, and I still have to compete in these exams... The same exams that were attacked before! I've gotta be able to defend the village, and obviously you guys, too."

She felt enormous gratitude flow through her and wasn't quite sure how to handle all the bijuu love. "I love you guys!" Naruto suddenly yelled, running back and forth to hug them. Kurama flicked her out of her mindscape as soon as she closed in on his massive plant cage again. She rubbed her forehead as she looked up at her god/grandfather once more, sitting down and gesturing for him to join her. This was going to be a long conversation.

Jiraiya grumbled and scratched his chin. How could he have forgotten and neglected the Uzumaki Temple?

Oh right: he was sure that place was haunted and he didn't do paranormal shit.

He also didn't like the idea of listening to bijuu, or those bijuu asking nearly impossible things from his granddaughter. But she is the Child of Prophecy, no matter how much she thinks she failed before... The toads had confirmed it. He remembered feeling so proud - but appropriately wary - when told that he would teach The Child of Prophecy decades ago, but now it was a pain in the butt.

"Alright, but after the exams. And I've only got one idea of where Orochimaru got that scroll if they're right about it... What's with the face, Naru-chan?"

"Kurama just cursed you for doubting him or something," she said before sighing and throwing her head back. "He says he was sealed by three fuuinjutsu masters and sealed into two of them. His father also 'messed with seals' as he puts it, so foxy-chan considers himself in the know."

"Tell him not to listen to us!"

"He supposedly didn't listen to that," Naruto almost instantly responded. Chomei was still paying attention, but Kurama and Shukaku were pretending to sleep. Naruto thought those two had to be the most difficult of the nine bijuu. For being ancient and wise and shit, they were often pretty childish. "I think they agree with me continuing to train until the exams, but we or YOU also need to come up with a seal to protect them from being pulled out of their hosts."

"Easy Peasy," Jiraiya said.

"Seriously?!"

"No," he said, standing up again then clapping his hands. "I'll think about your problems, and you can write everything down once we get back to Ma and Pa's place - which we need to repair. For now, back to training, kiddo! Let's get to work on that waterfall." They both leaped over to it.

Jiraiya stood close enough to his goddaughter to slap a seal on her, although he was still agreeable to her doing this with clones. Reversing a waterfall was no easy feat.

"Can I make ice if I use water and wind together?" the original Naruto yelled over the noise of the waterfall. "And I feel kinda bad doing this without Kakashi. He was the one who helped me master wind after... You know. You weren't..." After you died and weren't here went unsaid. A bunch of her clones popped in sadness and Jiraiya chose to interrupt her with his pervy thoughts.

"Maybe," Jiraiya said, ignoring the girl's morbid words. If he died in battle, he would probably die happy. And screw Kakashi! He appreciated the man stepping up in Naru-chan's first life, but he was going to enjoy the time he had with his granddaughter now. He'd already missed so much! Choosing to cheer her up, he told her about what he'd heard in the village after pulling her away from the worst of the noise. "Sensei received a request from Kiri for their hot new Kage to attend the finals with her entourage," he said, once again wiggling his pervy eyebrows. "It's too late for Mei-sama to send Genin teams, obviously, so she'll have a lot of free time if you catch my drift!" He ignored her name-calling; he wasn't a pervert, he was a Super Pervert! "You said Chomei offered to help you with genjutsu?"

"Yeah... Yep! He just confirmed it! And Shukaku says I can use sand a little! Awesome!"

"Weird," Jiraiya responded, biting his lip and a bit in awe of such a thing. "We can work on the genjutsu but only if what the seven-tail does isn't apparent to others. Genjutsu would throw off both your future opponents. And there's no way you can show off some kind of sand ability, not unless it's a life or death situation, Naru-chan… And only if you're alone for some reason." He hummed as he watched Naruto and her clones going back, only to be frustrated by the waterfall, but they were still trying. One way or another, her ability to work with water would be helped by this exercise.

"That technique you copied from Hayate-san wastes your chakra," he continued, yelling once more. "We'll make sure you have my Transparent Escape Technique down by tomorrow, ne? It's not difficult." Jiraiya wanted Naruto to be able to hide from those Akatsuki assholes if she was somehow caught. Maybe he should even ask Tsunade about her Strength of a Hundred Seal?

Naruto's chakra control was pretty damn good for a jinchuuriki. She might be able to eventually use it.

As glad as Naruto was to learn something that would work better for her, she was stuck on what her mentor said just before regarding her opponents: as in plural. "You're positive I'll be fighting Kurotsuchi?"

"No. But it's likely," Jiraiya said, shrugging as if having a lava-blowing Iwa nin as an opponent wasn't a big deal. "If Suna doesn't send their Genin, the Finals might be changed, completely."

Naruto groaned and flopped down again, popping her clones. "I don't want to fight Sasuke," she admitted. She knew that Kakashi had shown the Teme his Chidori, but she still prayed that he hadn't trained him to effectively use the technique, as selfish as that might be. Perhaps it was stupid not to ask her husband more of what he'd been up to while she was gone as well as what he planned to do, but she was of two minds about it. One, it was hard to imagine Sasuke without the Chidori. He'd turned it into several other jutsus in her past life - or maybe he'd copied them from Kakashi: she didn't know. Two, it was hard to imagine Sasuke's Chidori not going through her chest!

She just hoped to never again fight against her other brother-type figure in real combat. ...Her brother from another life.

Six hours later, Jiraiya called over Gamabunta, who was nearby and more than reluctant to help him. "Get ready, Naruto," he said while jumping on top of the toad. "I want to see how long you last with that wind shield of yours... Where'd you get that idea, anyway?"

"The Raikage! He zoomed around surrounded by lightning, so I thought, why not do it with wind, right?!"

"Right," Jiraiya said almost gloomily. "Figures. I've got an idea for something less chakra-intensive, but first, let's see how fast you are! Ready, Bunta?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Katon: Gamayu Endan!"

Naruto screeched and dodged as oil and fire flew at her. She and the clones that appeared all around the area, all screeching as she then yelled at them to behave themselves, sunshinned between them, trying to hold up a shield of wind. She could only do it with 10 clones, max, and was completely exhausted after less than five minutes. Yeah: there had to be a better way!

Hours later, she lay on the ground again, miserably sore and shaky. The only way she was going to make it back to Ma and Pa's house would be if the pervert carried her there, and he didn't look like he was in any shape to make it, either. She couldn't even talk! At least I'm positive the wind shield will hold up against his earth attacks: that could be really helpful.

She still wasn't sure that it was a great idea to flick Choji's forehead after tiring him out to end her match with him, but that was what Jiraiya was leaning toward. Maa, I've still got over two weeks more to train. I'll figure it out.

Sasuke's giddy shishou was encouraging him to continue inventing his own jutsu, but it seemed like all of the fire techniques he could think of had previously been made by one Uchiha or another. Every time he came up with something he thought was unique, Zero would tell him that the jutsu had originated from someone else.

"You're doing really well, Sasuke: I'm sure you'll have something soon."

"Hn."

"Hn!"

"Tch... Lightning, not fire, is my main affinity. Shouldn't I be focusing on what supposedly comes to me most easily?"

Shisui knew that was true, but he was slightly less proficient in lightning jutsus. Oh, he'd mastered it and knew several high-ranked lightning jutsus, but for some reason, Kakashi-senpai AND Jiraiya-sama had requested that Sasuke focus on fire jutsus as far as elemental manipulation went for now. Fire was certainly Shisui's forte, but Sasuke was also very good with it, and the kid was so bent, he worried that making him even more powerful could lead to turning him into a monster.

And he really needed to talk to Itachi again! What the hell had his cousin done to his beloved little brother that had made him want to kill him? Itachi said he had told him the truth, and the light was just around the corner! Finally!

Now that Tsunade was back in the village, perhaps he could force Sasuke to get a checkup from her?

It was so frustrating! The Sandaime had only allowed him to train his cousin if he continued carrying out his ANBU duties, didn't reveal himself in any way, and did not use his Sharingan on the younger Uchiha. He could use his Sharingan to aid in Sasuke's training, as long as Sasuke was unaware of it.

Shisui really wanted to thoroughly check his little cousin's chakra, but that would take more than a few moments of stillness and manipulation, but he was always being watched. While he was with Sasuke, both the Sandaime and Danzo had operatives stationed close by. The old man had that damned magic ball, too. What a pain in the ass!

Upon introducing himself to Sasuke as "ANBU agent Zero," he'd made a quick preliminary check. At least Sasuke didn't have seals on his mind as Naru-chan had. One of hers couldn't be removed; it would've killed her. He'd had to work with Jiraiya-sama after that weird but powerful Tobi-guy's attack to release three nasty but sloppy seals, but the last one? No. Naruto would probably never get those memories back...

"Oi, Zero. Tell me you're thinking of which lightning jutsu to teach me."

"I wasn't thinking of that much! I was being broody... but that's your thing, eh, Uchiha?!" Keh, I almost said something about it being "our" (Uchiha) thing. That would've sent that ROOT guy straight to Danzo and landed my ass in front of the Hokage. "I guess I can teach you a couple: what the hell." It wasn't like he'd give him a lot, and he needed to discuss Sasuke's training with Kakashi or the sage, anyway.

Everyone's interested in "the last Uchiha." And didn't that just piss him off? As soon as he got his eye back he was taking the mask off. This ruse was getting real old, and Danzo needed to go down!

"Alright, my cute little apprentice; HEY! What do you think about summoning?" He should have thought of this earlier!

Sasuke pursed his lips and thought about it for a second. Naruto could do a lot of things with those toads of hers. Taicho's dogs seemed pretty effective, too. "I'd... like to learn."

"Very good! Now which one would be right for you?" Shisui asked himself, humming as he tapped his mask, thinking more about it. He'd grabbed a few summoning scrolls from the Uchiha district before everything went down, so now it was more a matter of what would suit Sasuke best. "Do you prefer birds, bats, or cats?"

"Cats," Sasuke instantly replied before looking away. He had no idea what abilities cats - as summons - had, but he'd really missed the ninneko that used to freely roam the Uchiha compound. He didn't know why he was blushing but knew that he was. "Are their abilities great? Can they do things like transporting me?"

"Physically? Some can. Let's go back to the village. I'll get the scroll and we'll be off!"

"Hn."

Kurenai's Genin were working hard.

Shino and Kiba were certainly improving their chakra reserves and refining their clans' techniques, even though they wouldn't be participating in the Finals of the Chunin Selection Exams. Gai's student, Lee, was currently working to fend the younger teens off while she worked with Hinata on layering genjutsus. She'd also tested Hinata and found that her affinity for Water ninjutsu was very high. She wasn't an expert in Water techniques, but she knew a few.

Sadly, Hinata's opponent, Sai, openly told her that he also had a Suiton affinity - and an Earth affinity that was just as strong. His ninjutsu was quite unique and he wielded it well, plus he was (or had been: she wasn't sure how that even worked,) a member of ROOT. Sai had a wealth of undoubtedly terrible experiences that she hoped her own Genin would never have, and especially hoped that Hinata would never encounter. The girl was nearly too good and sweet to be true.

Or to be a kunoichi, but Hinata was determined, which made Kurenai determined to help her.

She had heard of rumors of what young ROOT members did in order to climb their ranks and found it disgusting. She couldn't help but smirk as she thought more about the organization, though. Although Tsunade-hime hadn't mentioned ROOT directly, she was certainly no fan of Danzo, and her speech about expanding the shinobi forces and mental health care immediately after mentioning the Warhawk gave her hope that she hadn't felt in a while about her village.

Kurenai wasn't sure what else she could teach her kunoichi Genin in the very little time they had left before the Finals. Considering it more, she asked Hinata to spar with her teammates and Lee, two on one, and issued rules. She made a clone and went to one of the people she admired more than any other for advice. Perhaps Tsunade-sama would have a helpful hint for Hinata's training.

Thirty minutes later, she returned, excited and eager to introduce Hinata to the world's greatest kunoichi. She was sure that Konoha's Princess could make a positive impact in the Hyuuga heiress' life and skills.

Tenten had just had her ass handed to her unceremoniously by Asuma-sensei. If this is what a wind-user could do, what chance did she have?

1. She'd have to rush this Temari chick before she could even pull her Tessen out, as soon as the match starts.
2. She needed more weapons, more explosive seals on them, and some kind of concealment jutsu.
3. More containment seals with even more weapons! Temari only had so much chakra, right?
4. Although she was hating life, Gai-sensei was right: she needed to increase her reserves and get even faster. Unfortunately, her sensei was a good one to aid her. She wasn't sure she could survive more Youth, but she'd try.
5. A heavier weapon. It's not like she wanted to squash (and thus kill) the Suna kunoichi, but from what she'd been reading about Tessens - and she was definitely going to get one of those big ones as soon as she was in Suna again - they were heavy and could be used to hit someone! Awesome! And a pain in the butt! She needed a much heavier short-range weapon, anyway: a better one than she already had.

She really hoped that Asuma-sensei was far more of an elite shinobi than he seemed. Maybe when Naruto got back, she'd be a better match for her? Temari was only a Genin like her: maybe she wouldn't be so outmatched in the Finals as she worried she'd be.

Once again, weeks of loneliness made Kakashi do unusual, unnecessary things.

Defeating Gai's minion was stimulating for a variety of reasons. First, of course, was because the teen was a mini-Gai, maybe even more Gai-like than Gai had been in his youth. The second was that Gai's younger clone was very good and really drove him out of his natural laziness to perform when it came to taijutsu. Lee had a lot of problems countering ninjutsu, however, although he was fast enough to stop most ninjas from being able to use hand signs.

He wasn't fast enough to stop Kakashi, however.

The best advice he had for the green teen, other than kicking his ass in taijutsu styles that were different from what Gai normally used, (and using genjutsu against him: that was always fun,) was attempting to break down and have the kid use the sunset genjutsu which would certainly freak out any opponent. It was difficult because Lee always used it with Gai, and never knew when or how he cast it, but Kakashi wasn't known as an expert in techniques for no reason.

"Maa, think about your love for Gai."

Nothing. He watched as Lee looked like he was constipated and trying to relieve himself, knowing that wasn't the way to cast a genjutsu. Several minutes went by where Kakashi could be reading.

So he did, or he pretended to. It had been more than two weeks ago, but Naru had just been so beautiful and delicious, begging him for more. His Sharingan recorded it all, and lately, he'd been spending a lot of time with his hand visiting his memories: his recorded ones.

"Cum for me, Naru-chan. Come on, baby. He applied more pressure and twisted her pretty, pretty nipple with his other hand. She threw her head back and forth as if saying no and let out something between a whimper and a moan.

"I... I need you inside of me... Please! God, Kash: it's..." Another little shriek... "Always so much better when Aah! When you're inside of me!"

He let out a giggle when he remembered something else that his beautiful little wife had eventually said...

"Do it or I'll kick you!"

Such a naughty girl. He would've been happy only cuddling and talking with her that night, but no: she had to get handsy...

Gods he loved that woman!

Kakashi had already explained how genjutsus were cast and tried unleashing Lee's hidden potential through Youth, Springtime, and other silly things, so now it was time to bring out the big guns.

"Relax, Lee-kun," Kakashi soothed while pushing Gai away from him. The man was way sitting way too close. "Remember that genjutsus use the muscle that is your mind," he continued, tapping his head. Pushing his headband up he saw that Gai's minion was finally relaxing, the chakra within his probably green brain moving more efficiently than it had before. He lowered the side of his hitae-ate back down so that he could read with his other eye more easily. Leaning toward Gai, he caught his unwanted rival's eye and whispered to him. "What I'm going to say to him? You won't allow it to happen, agreed?"

Gai's eyes opened wide and he agreed immediately, shaking Kakashi's gloved hand as he did so. "Of course, Rival!"

Kakashi cleared his throat and gave a fake smile to the minion who had his eyes closed in concentration. "Gai's dead."

He and Gai reeled back, the kid had activated the hell viewing technique in one of the worst ways possible! Gai ran to embrace his student, and... *Sunshine!* The kid had done it! On his own! Kakashi knew he was awesome, but this really made him feel proud, no matter how horribly uncomfortable it had been to say what he did. What he was staring at, though, was one of the most horrible Sunset Genjutsus of Youth that he'd ever seen. It was bound to defeat any enemy.

Gai looked like he was going to murder him.

"My work is done here. Ja!"

Lee collapsed after Kakashi had disappeared, Gai cursing him to hell and back in one of his Fits of Unyouthful Fury for having put his beloved student through that.

Sai felt like he was not getting anywhere.

Although he kept his newfound frustrations to himself, he had been working for two weeks at thoroughly mastering water ninjutsu in a way he'd never had time to concentrate on before. Like Tenzo-sensei, he had both water and earth affinities, but it seemed that his water affinity was stronger.

Now he had to start over or start at a much lower level than he believed he had proceeded to with water, because he discovered that his opponent, the Hyuuga heiress, had a water affinity, as well. Both Tenzo and Kakashi-taicho believed that it was a good idea to learn various earth techniques while working part-time on mastering the element. Kakashi-taicho was also working with him on producing better genjutsus. It was difficult, he thought (AND had read in a book that backed his feelings up;) training with - more like against - two masters who enjoyed blasting through his techniques. It certainly did nothing for his self-esteem, a concept he was currently reading about at night.

For all of the strategizing they were doing, Sai already knew how to beat the Hyuuga heiress. If one spoils the vision of a clan that prides itself on having "All-Seeing Eyes," victory was in the bag. Ink would work quite well for that.

He wondered if the heiress, Hinata-sama, had considered that.

Tenzo-sensei may be planning to send him in with earth jutsus a-blazing, but Sai figured that an ink clone or two would work very well for him. Once the Hyuuga hit one? Splat, then a tanto to the neck would force her to forfeit.

It might sound ugly or demeaning to one chosen by birth order to lead a Noble Clan - ha - but Sai found that he really wanted to win his match. He also wanted to use as little chakra as possible in case something else happened. He had already run into Orochimaru once; he wanted to be more prepared in case he ran into him again.

Chunin Exam Finals were always a huge target, no matter who hosted them. Plus, Danzo was having him followed; fortunately, two of those watching him now were his allies and fellow disciples, although he had to be careful.

He and Sasuke also had to guard Naruto-chan.

For this, he would allow Tenzo-sensei to continue slamming roots, branches, and trees through his various creations, and allow Kakashi-taicho to occasionally electrocute him. Both shinobi also enjoyed nearly drowning him with water attacks, but they never tried to kill him in the end, and they even usually had meals together afterward.

He was becoming accustomed to them and felt that he had come to care for his team.

Their ideas for his dates with Ino-chan were absolute rubbish, though.

Chouza and Shikaku glanced at each other, silently agreeing with what Inoichi had said before he went back to the bar to meet up with Kakashi and Tsunade-sama:

"Shikamaru is a monster of a Nara. Of a ninja!"

How the hell his son had figured out how to throw a huge shadow over such a great distance, and hold it for so long, Shikaku would never know. Shikamaru could bend nearly half the forest's trees enough to divide them with his will, for Gods' sake! His son and Naru-chan used to spend hours training, his daughter constantly ribbing Shikamaru that he needed to do more, needed to improve his chakra reserves, "make your own jutsu like you know I will, 'ttebayo!"

And he'd done it. Now, at his young age, Shikamaru was able to kick his father's ass and still had chakra to spare.

How unfair.

"You've gotta be prepared for anything with Naru-chan, Choji. I know you two are friends, but you can't hold back," Chouza said, addressing his son.

Choji hummed and put several chips in his mouth. They'd been training all day again. "I hope she doesn't Rasengan me. Those look like they really hurt."

Chouza and Shikaku looked at each other again, both pushing down a shudder. Minato killed so many people in the Third War with that technique... Shikamaru seemed to know what they were thinking, once again.

"Maa, she doesn't always use it full force. I think the only person she went all out on a Rasengan with happened in the Second Stage of the Exams with Orochimaru."

"Shikamaru!" Shikaku scolded in exasperation. "That's a secret, son: you know that!"

"No offense, Shikaku-oji, but those giant snakes kinda gave him away," Choji said.

"That they did," Chouza agreed and shrugged at his teammate. What could ya do? Every shinobi in the village - even the young ones (and probably the Academy students by this point) - knew that Orochimaru had interfered with the exams. They were just lucky that no one died.

"It's troublesome, but what you have to watch out for more than anything is one of her chakra-infused punches or kicks. Or that wind thing that she does," Shikamaru continued. "Or her enormous chakra reserves."

"I'm going to lose," Choji sighed. One could almost imagine a black cloud hovering over his head.

"What did I tell you, Choji?" his best friend asked. "You just have to make a good showing, and you're really good," Shikamaru said honestly. Choji was enormously better than the boy had been in his past life before these exams. Too bad Naruto was, too: exponentially. "You can make Chunin without winning your match."

"You don't know that," Shikaku growled.

"Yes I do," Shikamaru said confidently, ignoring his father's echo of "troublesome."

Shikamaru hadn't won his match the first time around, and he was the only one who was promoted. Not for the first or even hundredth time, he thought about how unfair that was. Few had really gotten a chance to show off their skills because of the invasion and events leading up to it. Naruto had won against Stick Up His Ass Neji, then immediately had to fight an out-of-control bijuu and jinchuuriki (and won again.) And she didn't get promoted: how screwed up was that?!

"Naruto will have a chance to be promoted, won't she? Will her status affect her chances for promotion?"

"It shouldn't. Chunin promotions are at the discretion of the Hokage," Chouza said; Shikaku slowly nodded in agreement next to him. "The council can only offer advice."

Choji offered Shikamaru a chip, which he took and thanked him for. "I'm not really worried about making Chunin this time around. I'm happy I won my preliminary match," the younger Akimichi said. "Maybe I should just forfeit?"

"You will not," his father said: they'd been talking about this a lot. He knew his son was bringing the idea up now to get Shikaku's opinion, but he'd repeat himself if he had to. "You're a smart and caring young man, Choji. There are Genin in the village that would greatly benefit from your leadership as a Chunin. I know you'd protect them and lead their squads well."

"Thanks, Dad."

"I agree, son," Shikaku said kindly to his nephew. "Go out there and give it your best." He sighed, crossed his arms, and became uncomfortable. "The only thing I ask of both of you in addition to doing your best is to save some chakra for after your match."

"You think we'll be attacked."

"Shikamaru," his father groaned again. "Someone has to fight that Iwa kunoichi: don't forget that. And why do you have to be so troublesome?"

"Karma?" Shikamaru asked.

"What a drag!"