A/N: What a long chapter. Honestly, I hope it proves to you just how much I love my readers! When I promised a certain something in my last chapter, I should've said it was coming SOON and not necessarily in this particular chapter! - Live and learn, right?
Obviously, not all chapters will be this long.
FINALLY, Deidara's end is disturbing, alright?
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.
Thinking (+ flashbacks, Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape, etc.)
Emphasis
Bijuu, etc. speaking
Bijuu, etc. thinking
"Let me get this straight. You," Tsunade said, gesturing toward her son who was looking for a clean cloak in the large closet behind his office, "are from a somewhat altered timeline, beginning approximately 16 years ago. That's how you knew all that crap. - And that's why you think I should apprentice Pinky."
"Sakura-san," Minato said, giving her a quick nod. "And not just me," he grunted as he looked through the sea of scrolls in the normally sealed space. He'd earlier placed a one-way silencing seal so he knew it was safe to finally have this conversation with the woman to whom he eventually intended to turn over the Kage reigns. "I assume that all the jinchuurikis were brought back in time, as was Nara Shikamaru, Shikaku's son. You're one of the few that know I'm a jinchuuriki, Tsunade-hime. I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible."
Tsunade sighed and wished for a moment that her son could be dismissed as insane. In all of their interactions thus far, however, he had proven to be sane, reasonable, and much like the man - or even boy - she'd known him to be decades ago. "If it really is possible, I get why the jinchuuriki would be brought back: God knows that we know far too little about the tailed beasts. My grandmother always said that. But why the Nara brat?"
"I honestly don't know," Minato sighed before letting out a relieved "ah HA" when he found one of his spare cloaks that he retrieved from a seal. He'd need to get the rest of his clothes from Kakashi, not that he'd need to wear his robes very often.
Minato was a little put out that Kyuubi had started grumbling and cursing when Tsunade brought up her grandmother. Kurama had very selective hearing; he wondered if Naruto had the same problem with the fox. He was almost certain that the beast spoke with her. Goodness knows, his near-half of Kurama wanted "his kit" back. So did he, but they couldn't always get what they wanted now, could they?"
Throwing on his fresh, if somewhat stale-smelling, Kage cloak over his fresh Jonin uniform, he returned to their conversation. "From what Nara told me, he had been surrounded in Naruto and the Kyuubi's combined chakra when he passed. The thing I don't get is that Naruto had given the entire shinobi alliance her chakra." Seeing the look of disbelief on Tsunade's face, he grinned. "I know. She did it quickly, too: she's amazing."
"She's something, alright," Tsunade replied with a smile she tried to hide, "and a brat." She groaned when she heard muffled yelling, laughing, and a struggle going on in the main office. "What are we going to do with THAT brat?"
Minato hummed. "He's really having a fit that Naru-chan's on an ANBU mission, huh? Crazy kid," he said fondly. "She's with Jiraiya so I don't see what the problem is."
"'Crazy kid' is right! He attacked you!"
Minato followed his biological mother out - that was a fact he'd never get used to - and resealed the door, adding a new seal to further secure the area that contained incredibly important items, like the Scroll of Sealing. "Kakashi's always been a little high-strung." Tsunade snorted before carefully taking his arm to stop him from going straight back to his desk.
"Sakumo was what one might have called a little 'high-strung' as well at times," she whispered, seeing the clear doubt about that on her son's face. Most people never saw that side of Hatake Sakumo, but she had known the man who would one day be called The White Fang even when they were children.
"Hatakes share similar genetic markers to the Inuzuka more than any other clan." She didn't need to wonder if Minato "got it" because of the troubled look on his face; she could almost see the wheels quickly turning in his head.
Thank God he got my brains and not Jiraiya's.
"If Naruto really disobeyed him and he was pulling that superiority shit, he's going to punish her."
"Ohoho," Minato muttered darkly. "We'll just see about that," he replied, using quick strides to enter his office. "Jonin Hatake, have you calmed down yet?"
"No!" the tied-up man exclaimed without reservation.
"Oh for heaven's sake. Look here, you brat," Minato tsked, almost wanting to rumble with his student again. Their brief little battle earlier had been fun: almost like old times, but Kakashi was so much better than he used to be, after the Third War! "I need you for an assignment and I can't be worried about you going off and bothering my daughter."
"I don't want her in ANBU," Kakashi said after his sensei sat down at his desk. It hadn't been the first time he'd said it. He watched the man begin to go through paperwork and sank down into his chains. "And I think she's got a wrong idea about something."
"I should hope so," Minato said dryly as he gave him a significant look while glancing up from a report from Forensics on the Lock group that had invaded his village. He really needed to have the village's seals looked at - or better yet, do it himself. In a lower voice, he asked, (much to Tsunade's obvious amusement, unfortunately,) "did you really not have relations with that woman?"
"Of course not," Kakashi said, looking away, feeling flushed. Genma was snickering, so Kakashi hissed that he was going to stab him, unfortunately making everyone laugh. "I will do it!"
"Of course you will," Genma drawled lazily, grinning at the younger man before looking toward his leader. "Sorry, Hokage-sama." He was supposed to be a relatively silent presence in the room, but the Yondaime ran an efficient but laid-back ship. Genma was SO glad he was back.
It took a matter of minutes for Minato to read through the initial reports from Forensics and Inoichi. It was a good thing they caught the Lock Jonins, considering their strange abilities. One of the Yamanakas he didn't know well was interested in attempting to copy their technique, and Minato needed to have a discussion with Tsunade about that, ensuring such a thing was safe for his forces. He glanced up again to see Kakashi looking absolutely miserable and decided to take pity on him by giving him a mission to get his mind off of his troubles. "Kakashi, I want you to lead the ROOT forces back into ANBU: Konoha needs their numbers."
"Me?" Kakashi asked, utterly horrified. "How?! Wait wait wait… Tenzo would be much better for that assignment!"
"Way to throw your 'cute little kohai' under the bus, Hatake," Iwashi said from the other side of the room.
"Maa, maa! He was in ROOT far longer than I," Kakashi said, not feeling guilty at all.
"I had thought of that, but he's on a mission with sensei," Minato said as he played with his pencil.
"And Naru-chan?! Tenzo's with her, too?" Kakashi asked, struggling more and more against his restraints again.
"Yes," Minato drawled, terribly unimpressed with Kakashi's behavior this afternoon. "And no one outside of this room needs to know about it," he said, tapping his paperwork down on his desk to straighten it. "Is that understood?"
"Hai," his guard chirped while Kakashi whined out the word like a petulant child.
"What am I going to do with you?" Minato asked his student. "And when did he get like this?" he asked everyone else.
Raido was the first to speak. "I noticed that he had de-evolved four or five years ago." He smiled at his fellow (laughing) Guard Platoon members and ignored the restrained Elite Jonin in the middle of the room. "...Becoming more insufferable: that kind of thing. It began after he was dismissed from ANBU, right?"
"Hai," his teammates said easily, while Kakashi slumped and dropped his head back in temporary defeat.
Raido was really glad to be back together with his old partners. Being named to the Hokage Guard Platoon had been a huge honor.
Not only had he failed to protect Yondaime-sama and his family before, but being denied promotion all these years - along with the Sandaime not allowing them to protect him - had done a real number on him. The fact that Yondaime-sama wanted the three of them back at his side more than anyone, save his apprentice, meant the world to him.
"Jonin Hatake," Minato said formally as he finished writing coordinates on a scroll before adding it to a file with a flourish. "You will meet your new ANBU recruits at the location I've recorded. I've read your file and know that you're capable of producing fine results despite your actions today! We'll use my summons and Birds to communicate - or your dogs, I don't care. I'll expect a daily report for now," he stopped, not knowing why his men groaned, then continued. "You may take a squad of eight that you trust but run through your choices with Tsunade and Hiruzen-sama."
Now Tsunade groaned.
Honestly! What was he going to do with these shinobi?! Tsunade had told him that Hiruzen was doing much better, so Minato intended to use him as an informal (for now) advisor. Maybe Hiruzen could tell him why his shinobi were being such brats?
Either way, he continued.
"The ROOT shinobi will be moved to barracks K through Z." Kakashi was now clearly gaping at him from behind his silly navy blue mask. "Yes, there are a LOT of them and hopefully, there will be many more!" More to himself than Kakashi, he mumbled that he needed to send a mission out to build more barracks immediately. He made five clones whom he ordered to work on that and several other things.
If his beloved wife and daughter could use clones willy-nilly, so could he now, and he'd put a few of them in his office to good use, having them work as something like additional secretaries.
"Kakashi-kun," he said in a gentler voice as he approached him, "I'm going to let you out now, and you are not going to attack anyone else. You will behave yourself as the responsible Jonin you are. …That's an order."
Well, now Kakashi just felt silly. How embarrassing.
He was just about to ask about going to see Naru-chan first and felt himself getting all riled up again, but tried to swallow it down. Finally, he gave the Hokage a quick nod, and his sensei began untying him. He closed his eyes in frustration with both himself and his little wife before feeling his sensei's hand on his shoulder.
"Kakashi," Minato said kindly, "you can use my summons to contact her."
Kakashi nodded. "I'd like that, sensei."
"Very good," Minato agreed happily (somewhat) as he finished up before slapping the back of his student's shoulders. "You have eight hours to gather your team, and you may also use Jonin from the regular forces," he continued, glad that his student seemed to perk up at that. He was NOT happy when Kakashi-kun then pulled out one of Jiraiya's smutty novels to hide behind. "Honestly! We have got to have a meeting about proper shinobi etiquette and discipline!"
On any other mission, Naruto would've thought her team overpowered.
Jiraiya was team leader, not even really hiding behind his hilarious, orange-highlighted (over the high eyeholes) toad mask. It also had red streaks drawn down from the eyes, just like the ones the man had on his face. Tenzo wore the cat mask that he had during her last lifetime. Shikamaru had on a cute deer mask with dark green streaks and tiny horns he thought were more indicative of a devil, (that works for him, too, Naruto thought,) while Hyuuga Arashi's was supposedly a marlin with blue waves and a big point on the forehead. Sai was there, too, which was comforting, and he was wearing an otherwise plain white mask that had checkers down one side. He'd highlighted his eye holes with what looked like black eyeliner and his code name was "Rat," which was hilarious.
He was currently bothering the Inuzukas.
Inuzuka Hana was on the team with her ninken Haimaru triplets - Naruto didn't get why they all had the same name, but that was their business - and Hana went by the codename "Jackal." Inuzuka Tadeo was "Poochi," aptly named when one considered his really large spotted ninken partner, Yuki. Both the Inuzukas' masks resembled the one Kakashi had hung by the closet that held SOME of his uniforms - don't think about him or that - but had black or blue stripes on them, respectively.
Finally, the unknown and supposedly powerful wonder-shinobi, "Dragon," was there; he was a late, surprise team addition. With brown shaggy hair that had streaks of white and silver and possessing big hazel eyes, Naruto had already seen him use chakra strings along with some other really precise and nifty chakra-control jutsus casually in only her first day with her team. He was impressive and almost as much of a legend as Jiraiya was. He had also seen some major action in the Third War and beyond if his deep, almost hellish scars were anything to go by.
Naruto had heard Dragon and Jiraiya talking quietly about adding "a Sharingan" to the team in time, so she assumed she'd be stuck with the Bastard eventually once again. After that, the two of them had gone off by themselves and may have gotten into a fight if her godfather/grandfather's pained posture was any indication.
Jiraiya was probably being a perv and pissed Dragon off, Naruto thought sourly. And no way would I be lucky enough for my future teammate to be Itachi, instead, huh? Now that would be great.
Ah well: one could always dream…
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Shikamaru asked quietly when they stopped for a dinner/fuuinjutsu break.
"Not a thing is," Naruto replied without emotion. She had munched quickly, wishing she'd had time to cook and pack more food before the mission began. Supposedly there would be time and supplies for that wherever it was they were headed for Yugakure. Naruto had been there quite a few times with Jiraiya in her last life - as one would guess, considering the country's famous onsens - and wondered if Hidan had been spotted there. She was pretty sure that's where he was from.
Or maybe that was the LAST place he would be.
One way or another, Hidan had to go. There was no choice with that guy, but she was pretty sure the plan was to draw him to the edge of the Nara Forest. And then? BOOM. The edge of their entire forest was pre-prepared and just waiting for him!
"Be careful," Shikamaru advised, looking over at the fuuinjutsu Naruto was putting on another onyx earring. The Hyuuga on their team was pretty quiet, but definitely didn't want to try out their supposed prototypes, and Shikamaru wanted to make sure that his new team couldn't hear ALL of his thoughts.
"I got it," Naruto said easily, almost reading his mind. "They'll just have to get used to putting a block or door in their mind so we don't hear everything they're thinking. …I can add an element to give them a warm-up trial period, so to speak."
"Don't change it… And I'm more worried about you," Shikamaru said. He was irritated and concerned about Naruto's mental state, what Hatake might have done to her (something he was always worried about: so troublesome,) AND whether or not she'd be able to keep the mental block she mentioned up 24/7. The earrings they came up with and revised were powerful - almost too powerful - but Naruto disagreed.
She got up and gave the newest earring to Dragon. He and Jiraiya wanted to test them out, and see whether or not they could discuss things between themselves almost telepathically (Fuuinju-istically? Is that a word? Naru wondered: she could make it a word!) without alerting the rest of the team. Naruto had added elements to number each team member's earring, so it should work, but she was a little worried about what would happen when one of them tried to alert more than one person.
They might just have to use their mouths or hand signals. What a drag.
Geesh, she was still numb as fuck.
Thank goodness.
Sitting down, she got to work on yet another earring as Jiraiya gave her a thumbs up, then signaled with his hands, asking if she could hear him. She could not. Both Jiraiya and Dragon gave her another thumbs-up, making her smirk at Shikamaru. She'd done it, hadn't she? Not that he could see the expression on her face: they were both wearing their ANBU masks again.
Naruto found that she never wanted to take her mask off. Maybe this was what he felt like.
Don't think about him.
"You're not being yourself," Shikamaru thought to her as he took a blank earring, ready to try to copy what Naruto had done now that he'd watched her a few times.
"Well excuse me," she internally voiced snarkily. "I'm on my first ANBU mission, hunting a group of S-ranked rogue ninjas who all want to rip out my fuzzy little friend and my friends' fuzzy little friends - and to kill all of us while doing it, of course. I've had a shit week and don't see how you can blame me. …And don't ask about him," she concluded, meaning Kakashi.
Don't think about him!
"Gah! I screwed up," she yelped about the earring she was working on. "Whaddya do?" she asked no one, beginning to work again on another blank one.
She appreciated that Jiraiya had bought a slew of the black things somewhere in Konoha.
Their leader approached her, mask pulled to the top of his head and speaking up once her tiny instrument moved away from the stone she was working on. Naruto hadn't asked about the toads that were appearing - ones that neither of them had summoned - and that meant that she wasn't being properly observant. Jiraiya had an excuse ready for when she did question it, but her present mood was still something to worry about. "Dragon wants to get to know you."
She also hadn't seemed to notice Dragon's new interest in her.
"What?" Naruto asked, definitely puzzled. The guy was supposed to be a silent enigma: a ghost! He had also been killed in the field in her first lifetime during or before Orochimaru's attack, having supposedly cut down a ton of Oto and Sand shinobi as he tried to stop the invasion single-handedly back then. It was great that he was alive now, but why would he care about getting to know her? "Whyyyy?"
Jiraiya shrugged, knowing that he now had yet another secret to keep from his granddaughter. Honestly, knowing she had more family alive would probably make her day, but no. He had to keep all this bullshit a secret for now. "Maybe he's interested in your fuuinjutsu; maybe he wants to know about your giant buddy with the tails!" The Nara kid snorted as he continued making precise marks on the small stone he was working on.
All these secrets that he was finding out at his age were beginning to wear on him psychologically, too - not that he would admit that to anyone else. After learning what he just had - and after learning about Minato being his son, which meant that Naruto was his grandchild and that meant learning about what he'd once done with Tsunade WHO HAD LIED TO HIM about it - he wanted to throttle Dragon for keeping his identity hidden, too!
For all these years!
Instead, of course, Jiraiya had cried and given "Dragon" a big hug. He'd gotten an awkward, stiff pat on the back for it before he got punched in the gut.
That punch had HURT. It made sense that he was her brother…
"Okay, Team Gama," Jiraiya said loudly and proudly, clapping his hands together. "Gather your things. Our next stop will be where we'll rest and train. It's gonna be great!"
Naruto shook her head. Leave it to Ero-sennin to be excited and try to pump everyone up about an insanely dangerous mission.
Although she wasn't "feeling it," she still wanted to punch him.
The hotel they were staying at just outside of the Hot Water Village was owned by the Leaf (or the Daimyo - something like that: Naruto wasn't sure.) She'd been to this country so often and had never once slept in a BED! Naruto had been lucky if the old perv let her into an onsen to relax and would only do it if she was filthy and exhausted in her last life. He was a little better about it when he realized that she was a girl, but still!
"You've all been briefed on the Akatsuki. We will train together to fight them after I seal the training grounds," Jiraiya said without the vital knowledge that he might be attacked with a prank earlier and earlier as he spoke.
Training grounds?! I had to practice against trees and only trees!
"We'll be splitting up as little as possible, but when we do, Dragon is my second-in-command," Jiraiya continued, using a small hand gesture to point toward the still-masked Dragon. "Got it? Good! And we've got a sighting that's been confirmed," he added eagerly as he rubbed his giant hands together. "It seems that Deidara the Mad Bomber is a wrestling fan!" He gave Naruto a wink, having learned that she was a huge wrestling fan while they were training for the Chunin Exam Finals. "When not running Akatsuki missions and blowing shit up, Deidara has been seen at pro wrestling events all over the Elemental Nations, it turns out. If he wants a show, we'll give him a show, ne?"
Muttering was heard all around her, so Naruto, unsure of what exactly was allowed in ANBU meetings, (this is why I needed training and to go through that induction stuff) raised her hand.
"Go ahead, Fox."
Naruto's eyes narrowed. There was something about being called Fox (when she wasn't wearing her mask) that didn't sit right with her - or was perhaps a little too close to home. All those past insults hurled her way of that exact name had hurt and stuck with her since she was little, once upon a time.
Even though she loved Kurama.
"Are we infiltrating a professional wrestling organization? 'Cause I don't think a wrestler showing up out of nowhere without a history in the minor leagues or from a wrestling master will make sense to serious fans."
"Righty-o, Nar-u-to!"
Jiraiya concentrated, then transformed himself into Bee - as in her old master - Gyuki's jinchuuriki, Bee, making her jaw drop. "I'm your manager," he winked obnoxiously.
"Nope," Naruto drawled while screwing up her lips and shaking her head. "If you're gonna pretend to be Bee, you have to rhyme. Badly and constantly."
Jiraiya grumbled but said he was working on it, then continued the meeting, going through where each Akatsuki member was last seen, what horrific thing he'd done, leaving out Nagato, Konan, and Itachi. He also went through their abilities although they'd heard the reports before. - He did try to rhyme every now and then. Jiraiya was actually much better at it than her old jinchuuriki master but didn't have his cadence at all. After the meeting, they headed to bed - some of their members would later be fanning out and staying at other hotels, but tonight they were bunking together.
Naruto's first roommates were Hana, Shikamaru, and Sai. She was very comfortable with the guys but didn't know Hana well.
Lord, she was bossy!
"I'll fix your hair," she said after ordering who would go to the baths in what order, who would stand by as guard, etc. Shikamaru had ignored her, washing up in the attached bathroom and laying down as soon as he came out.
Naruto, on the other hand, was looking forward to going back to the baths after Jiraiya left.
The Inuzuka heiress sat down on Naruto's bedroll, pushing her off before she began to pull at her long, wet locks. Naruto made a clone to watch while she winced and tried to be a big girl about it. Yoshino often used to do this and was no gentler.
For a moment, she promised herself that if she had a figurative daughter, she'd be more careful about it and take more time. Then the image of a silver-haired little girl appeared in her head - a totally unwanted thought - and made her eyes water. Naruto refused to go there, not wanting to think about him. Instead, she watched Sai, who was sitting across from them, and it seemed like he was probably drawing them. Unfortunately, her clone was giving her a very sad look.
"Just concentrate on the braids," Naruto ordered her doppelganger as she sighed and hunkered down.
Hana took a moment to make a shadow clone to do her own hair while she worked on Naruto's, so now the small room - which included the ninken - was pretty full. Shikamaru was already asleep.
"Putting it in braids will give you more time in the morning and keep it in place overnight. I'll braid part of it tightly enough that it won't frizz out in the baths," Hana explained as she divided the top of the blonde's hair into little sections. "I've teamed up with some of these idiots before and never know if they'll oversleep or demand to train at 0300. Plus, we can get word at any time that we have to move out, and pulling all this hair back is another time-consuming thing."
"Right," Naruto agreed. "Thank you."
Before long, her hair was divided into dozens of tiny braids on the top of her head, then gathered with the rest and pinned up into two large buns, larger braids wrapped around them. Hana had left a little of her fringe and bangs alone and when Naruto looked at herself in the mirror, she could only say one thing. "Tenten!" Her buns were much larger and more elaborate but were still in the same position that Tenten always wore hers. She thanked Hana again, and after Sai agreed to stay with Shikamaru, the two women headed toward the baths downstairs.
It was heaven. Sadly, as she relaxed, Naruto broke down in fat, ugly tears.
The masked Dragon was in the men's side of the bath reluctantly listening when Naruto eventually told Hana what she and her clones had seen with her husband, making him furious.
"What an idiot," Jiraiya said, reading the message Kakashi sent Naruto through Minato and the toads. He was definitely burning it before she saw it. Dragon had informed him of what he heard Naruto say, how upset she was, and so on. Although he appreciated knowing from Kakashi-brat's message that the young man had only met that woman for a mission, most of his words read like a mission report, and one of Kakashi's shitty mission reports at that.
No flowery language, no love confessions, just a promise to tell her something "important that I should have told you even back in Wave," whatever the hell that meant.
What he did NOT appreciate were the threats to his person at the beginning and end of the note:
"Stop reading this Jiraiya-sama, or I will end you"
and
"Realize that you have forfeited your life if you have read this, Jiraiya-sama."
Ah well, at least the kid is polite.
Also not appreciated (even more) was the way Kakashi told Naruto that he was going to enjoy punishing her for disobeying him, a bunch of alpha shit, and so on and so forth. He groaned just thinking about it. The kid might be like his father in some ways, but Sakumo Hatake had at least been a romantic. His son was absolutely NOT. What a little shit.
Poor Naruto…
So far - although her eyes were a bit dulled - his granddaughter seemed to be almost enjoying herself and was definitely working hard, practicing wrestling holds (on everyone) and bouncing on and off as well as up and down the ring ropes in order to better get used to them. Even without chakra, as a kunoichi, such a thing shouldn't have been a problem, but Naruto was doing even better than Hana, probably because it was something she always wanted to do.
When he thought about it, it was as if the Sage of Six Paths was smiling down on them, leading Naruto to defeat the person who once killed her friend, the former Kazekage. By day, Naruto, Tadeo, and Hana would wrestle, and by night, he and his little apprentice - secretly along with Minato's advice via toads - would work on seals that would do one of a few things that might negate Deidara's disgusting mouth-filled hands soon after she touched them.
And she was eager to touch him. THAT part of the job, Naruto had no problem with, which was awful.
She must be REALLY pissed off at Kakashi.
Taking a moment of pity on the poor bastard, Jiraiya quickly sent a messaging toad off to let Minato know that he burned Kakashi's note. He also let him know how things were progressing, where he planned to send Dragon and "Gama Team B", and finally that Minato needed to think about giving his student lessons in how to romance his wife. After the toad took off, Jiraiya laughed to himself: Minato would probably have a fit, and was not exactly smooth, either, especially when his son had been trying when Kushina was a teenager.
Too bad my kid didn't get my awesome skills in that department.
He missed Kushina, too...
Kakashi NOT being a casanova was fine with him, though: this was his granddaughter he was talking about! Jiraiya didn't want her influenced by smooth words that were insincere. "GAK!"
"Submit to me, Pervert! You're going DOWN! Tap out! Tap out," Naruto demanded from the old man that she'd grabbed in a chokehold, having wrapped her legs around his stupidly big self, too. Jiraiya turned every which way as he tried to grab at her, even flopping down on his back to crush and get her off of him, but she held on until he tapped. Hana followed up with him, healing Jiraiya's bruised airways before Naruto snuck off to find another victim.
Naruto's sewing skills sucked, but Hana had helped her along with Sai, Tadeo, and Arashi who were amazing at altering clothes.
Her first little costume/uniform consisted of ANBU short shorts, (even with mesh, Naruto couldn't imagine why anyone would prefer them over pants;) an outrageously sparkly purple ¾-sleeve length top that pushed her boobs almost into her face. Tape and her bandages kept them inside the low-cut thing. She also had tape lining all edges of the shorts she wore. The top was absolutely embarrassing, but she needed to get used to things like that as there was no telling what she'd be forced to wear once they hit the big time.
Hana's top wasn't much better and was hot pink - of all the nightmares - and they had prepared to also act as a tag-team, depending on the specific wrestling company's needs. Both were henged to hide their facial features; the henge also gave them roughly matching green eyes and black hair. Jiraiya sealed their henges in place, (also sealing most of their chakra away, although they could break that part of the seal in an emergency,) making the ninken triplets cry although they still recognized Hana by scent.
Tadeo was supposed to be another (extremely hot) "cowboy" wrestler within their rag-tag little outfit, but he and half their team had disappeared on their own mission, making Naruto extremely nervous.
"One: you'd better not be sending them out to fight the Akatsuki alone," Naruto scolded Jiraiya after finding out that their team had been cut in half. "Two - and I'm gonna say it again, Ero-sennin! Try as you might to sound like Bee - and you are getting better - it just doesn't make sense," she began, knowing that she was basically talking to a wall again. "Bee's a known jinchuuriki, and you're just inviting more Akatsuki attention on us!"
"Don't you worry about that, Naruto! I'm only henging as him to get media attention on you so that those outside the promotion will know you had a legitimate 'in' to the business."
"Bee's got a big mouth!" Naruto argued as she followed him around. "If he hears that he apprenticed or worked his rapping magic or whatever he calls it, to further two women wrestlers that he's never actually heard of?! He'll probably find us and give us the BIGGO LARIAT-O," Naru finished, simulating to him exactly what that move Bee loved to do with his brother looked like.
"Let me be the thinker, Naruto. You and Hana are the muscle!"
She and Hana looked at each other, both with the same expression on their faces. "We're going to get killed," Hana said grimly.
Off the three of them went - plus the fans they'd picked up while putting on demonstrations at gymnastics and martial arts facilities nearby - to their first real event at the big hall in the Village of Hot Water.
Several hours later, "Bee" carried the girls back to the hotel. So it went, day after day. It took three additional weeks, but finally, the call came.
Jiraiya cackled like a maniac as he accepted the money that both girls had bet against him. Although he didn't expect them to be happy, he did sense that they were relieved that his plan came to fruition. "Congratulations, ladies! You have attracted the attention of the Elemental - Ladies, he added unnecessarily - Wrestling Federation.
"ELF then?" Naruto asked, making him grumble.
"JUST as I planned, Bee-sama was eager to take credit for your talent and success," Jiraiya began, getting why Naruto fell back as if she'd been shot. Bee was predictable in a couple of ways, and loving fame and the limelight was one of them. "Gama Team B and my contacts have found some of our enemy's weaknesses and we will use these against them," he said with wild eyes.
Naruto's eyes darted toward the door, and sure enough, five minutes later, the rest of their team arrived. "You're back! Is everyone okay?" Naruto asked, checking on each of her team members as Hana and her ninken sniffed out any injuries the group might be hiding. Shikamaru and Sai were low on chakra, but other than that, they were good to go.
What they'd been doing was a mystery for now.
"Tomorrow's the big day! We'll split and head for the arena around 1500 in pairs, aside from those of us who will escort our superstars," he ended while gesturing to the two women. Tadeo volunteered to attend the event as had originally been planned, then he pulled out new uniforms for the team's wrestlers.
"I want everyone on sequin duty tonight," Tadeo cheered, his ninken barking excitedly a couple of times beside him. "Together we can get these costumes done."
"Count me out, brat. Naruto and I have to place these seals on her hands."
If that little announcement didn't dampen the temporary party spirit, Naruto didn't know what else would. The seals would cancel Deidara's ability to use chakra, something Naruto had come up with and had only needed to be refined. What she didn't realize was that Jiraiya also used an ink that would act as an extremely slow poison after sealing Naruto's skin from absorbing it.
He wasn't taking any chances.
As time passed, the fan base was getting bigger while their outfits were getting smaller. And glitzier! It had taken a full day for Jiraiya to come up with a seal that FINALLY covered up the giant seal on her back so that Naruto could wear what was now her regular costume.
"The seal will have to be reapplied every 12 hours and works by producing an extremely small-area henged genjutsu since a normal henge won't work on you there."
Naruto hated herself even more now for allowing her back to be branded.
What kind of fool was she?
The promotion was at the Fire Capital and it was their biggest show yet.
He was supposed to be here tonight. It had taken almost six weeks, but Deidara had reserved a front-row ticket in his own name!
Naruto was decked out in her red, white, and blue. To remain in character, like the comics, her eyes were blue: the other wrestlers thought she was wearing contacts, which was just fine with her. Shikamaru and her other teammates wouldn't tell her how they found out the terrorist was a major fan of the old Superman and Wonder Woman comics, but she had heard her aniki mention that the guy was a major pervert - something that made her infinitely uncomfortable.
Tonight wasn't the first night that flowers had been delivered to her dressing room, but the note told her that he had seen her/her act before on television.
"Looking forward to meeting you, Diana: my goddess - Dei"
Still, creepier was the smaller, tasteful, and mostly orange bouquet that said, "I love you."
She would not blow this mission, though! No matter what!
And this would be the first of many. Next on the hit list were Kakazu and Hidan, who had recently been seen together again. She would miss wrestling once tonight (please let it only be tonight: we need to get a move on) was over.
Naruto watched from a backstage monitor along with the other real wrestlers, who were, for the most part, a very nice and fun bunch of people. She and Hana got along with them well. Together, they watched as a guy named Dan was decimating his opponent with repeated suplexes, showing off his strength as the crowd both groaned at the carnage he was inflicting on his poor opponent and went wild.
Shikamaru looked as bored as ever, even as a dirty blonde with his hair down, as he sat in the front row, too. Just as the camera panned away from his direction, Naruto caught sight of bright blonde hair approaching his position and felt her stomach drop.
"Toto?" Hana asked, all made up in her (lucky) orange that as "Cheetah" included temporary cheetah spot tattoos and a purple velour bodysuit. "Is your boyfriend here?"
Naruto, aka Toto when not Diana, winked at Hana, aka Azula when not Barbara. Considering who Wonder Woman and Cheetah were, it wasn't hard to remember. "Not sure, Azula," she said while crossing her arms. Hana gave her a fierce look and checked to ensure that they weren't being watched before looking back at the cameras to find their mark. Had Naruto not observed the guy they were looking for, she would've simply said no.
The new and burly promotion manager (a henged Jiraiya) came up, surprising the two women although the other wrestlers ignored him as they watched Dan, who was still in the ring, now on top of a tall ladder. His opponent looked dead to the world and was laid out on a table waiting to be crushed.
That guy will be hurting tomorrow…
"Toto-chan! Come with me quickly please," Jiraiya urged.
Naruto followed, feeling a little put-out. "So you saw him."
"Who?" Jiraiya asked, still leading her forward.
"THE GUY," she hissed, meaning Deidara.
"So he's here?"
"How the fuck… What's wrong with you?!"
This was the whole climax of the mission, wasn't it?! Of course, it was! Jiraiya opened the door to his temporary office and Naruto paled.
Sukea? He's sick and, No. No, he obviously wasn't Sukea: that was really Kakashi. He had always been Kakashi! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…
"Please?! We wanna see sensei's face!"
"Even his ANBU photos are gone, Sukea-san?"
"YOU were in ANBU, Sukea-san? You must've been really awesome, 'ttebayo!"
"You've got really nice eyes, Sukea-san! Makes me think I can trust you, ya know!"
Jiraiya dragged her in, glad that she wasn't kicking and screaming although she looked absolutely sick. Not nearly as sick as Kakashi, though. He put down a silencing seal, praying that it wouldn't alert the mark that might be in the large crowd.
"Tsunade says he's addicted to your chakra, Naruto."
Naruto was absolutely stunned. "I see," she said before looking away from him, her eyes welling up with tears. No one said anything and Naruto was overwhelmed with anxiety. Deciding that it was because she might miss her shot at Deidara, she fisted her hands: her entire body rigid.
She honestly didn't know WHAT to do about Kakashi. "WELL?" Neither man said anything, and Jiraiya left, mumbling something to Kakashi about HIM explaining Kakashi's need to bite her.
Naruto was even more shocked, remembering what Karin's skin had looked like, but shut off her heart, having work to do. This healing bite was an Uzumaki thing, wasn't it? An ability she'd never known she possessed?
"Maa…"
"I can't allow you to bite me anywhere anyone would see. My fishnets go clear up under my skirt and bodice which are one piece. My boots are too time-consuming to get on and off, and…"
"You look like a goddess," Kakashi said in an almost whispered voice.
"That's kinda the point and I'm in a time-crunch."
"Naruto," he said before coughing. "Let me explain."
"No time and you look like shit, meaning you need this done, anyway." She could sense Jriaiya standing right outside the door so she hit it several times, rattling the wall and door frame. He came in, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else and Naruto continued, still speaking fast. "If he 'bites me' as you so casually mentioned, will it mess up my seals? How can he get chakra or whatever it is that's required outta me if my chakra's blocked?"
"Why's your chakra blocked?" Kakashi said, again in that tight, very quiet voice.
Naruto clenched her fists. "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" She turned to Jiraiya, her hair beginning to fly out in all directions. "SIR, CAN YOU DO THIS OR NOT?!"
"Yes," Jiraiya squawked but hesitated, thinking of what to do. He'd have to slowly power up an additional seal as Naruto's came off. "Yeah, kid, I can do it, but you're going to have to pull in that massive chakra of yours as you let it flow to the moron, here," he said, meaning Kakashi. "I can put it on a little further down your back, I guess."
"GOOD," Naruto said much too brightly, considering the furious look on her face. "Don't get any ideas," she ordered Kakashi while reaching to her back to pull her zipper down while covering up her goods. "Watch him, Ero-sennin."
"Naruto…"
Kakashi wanted to say so much, but he barely had the energy OR knew where to begin, especially with her being so furious and Jiraiya being here. He also felt so damn sick! Finally, he said the only thing he could as she moved over him, her arms on one side of his lap, her legs on the other - obviously making sure she didn't touch him.
These were sensei's and Tsunade's orders, but they made him feel even worse. "I'm very sorry, Naru-chan." We'll talk about this as soon as I get this over with. "I don't…"
"Just bite me," Naruto said, humiliated and angry. Kakashi's arms reached for her hand and waist, as he sank lower toward her. She let out a cry as his teeth sunk into her side near her waist. Jiraiya quickly left the room after doing something with yet another seal on her back, and Kakashi immediately pulled his mouth away, holding her tighter to him as he did. "Did you get my flowers?" His teeth sunk in again a little closer to her breast and Naruto winced.
Did it hurt? Yes! Did it feel good? Fuck, yes!
In a weird way!
"Just finish so I can do my job," Naruto whimpered. By the end of who knows how long, Kakashi tried to hold on to her, but she managed to get away, refusing to look him in the eye. She was sure he let her go, and it was a damn good thing or she would've punched him. She could tell, however, that his chakra reserves were back up to full and his coloring had returned to being pale.
He'd looked so fucking sick before.
Jiraiya came in, concentrating on making sure the new seal was exactly as it should be. She then bolted out the door after fixing her clothes. "You didn't kiss her, did you?"
Kakashi gave him a deadpan stare, wordlessly daring him to ask that again.
"Her lipstick contains a slow-acting but deadly poison."
"Why?"
"Listen here and listen well," Jiraiya said, pushing the younger man back toward the couch before crossing his arms over his broad chest. Kakashi seemed fine now, to him, whereas "Sukea" had looked like he was about to drop dead when he was teleported here and wasn't that a bitch? He'd heard of UCP and UCA before, (Uzumaki Chakra Poisoning and Uzumaki Chakra Addiction, respectively) back in the old days. This brat and Naruto were going to be stuck together now, weren't they?!
He was going to be stuck with Kakashi on his team! Not that Kakashi wasn't skilled, but…
"That girl has a JOB to do: a mission and you are going to let her do it. You might get pissed off, you might want to act out, but you will not. Do you understand me, soldier?" Kakashi sat up straighter, clearly being defiant, and Jiraiya wanted to scream. "She won't forgive you if you don't let her complete her mission!"
Kakashi sucked in a breath. "Alright," he finally agreed.
"Good! Pull up your shirt so I can better hide your chakra now that you've got it again. If I find out Deidara's sensed it, I'll flick both you AND Minato to Iwa."
Kakashi snapped pictures in his Sukea persona as his little wife stepped out on stage to meet the orange awaiting heel that was Cheetah, whom he guessed was an Inuzuka. The clan's ninkens' scent was all over the place. He caught sight of a few shinobi he knew of in the stands; some were subtly henged while others were cheering. Naruto had the whole Wonder Woman costume on, from the tiny little outfit - he could only pray that she didn't move too much in it as her extremely generous assets were really on display - to the bracelets, tiara, and whip.
The music was loud and seemed like it was made for her even more than the character she was portraying.
He couldn't help but smile as he watched her glare at the woman in the ring and stalk forward, her breasts bouncing beautifully all the way. She had quite the confident, sexy strut going. He "accidentally" fell on top of a few men who were making comments about her, (and may have ensured they felt sharp elbows) but it's not like he could take on the entire exhibition center, and he didn't care about the beer they'd spilled all over him.
Well, he could take on and kill everyone, but then Naruto might continue to hate him.
As she kicked her leg out and above the second rope to enter the ring, his breath caught as he feared that people would get a glimpse of her… No, it hadn't happened - that had been a ridiculous thought. And as she'd bent over more and flashed that beautiful smile at the crowd, he got quite the view, but somehow her breasts didn't fall right out of that skimpy outfit.
He was going to have a heart attack, wasn't he?
Shuffling forward with his camera in front of him, Sukea apologized to another guy he "accidentally" kicked when he yelled at his pals exactly what he'd like to do to his wife.
After a bell rang, the two "supers," as they were being called, grasped each other's shoulders as they pushed each other around the ring. Naruto was, of course, much shorter than the other woman and looked so cute, even as she was shoved into the corner farthest from him. He smiled and continued snapping pictures as she flawlessly hopped up the ropes backward, then bounced over to the side ropes - then did the craziest double spinning backflip that ended with her on top of her opponent. He couldn't help but cheer along with the raucous crowd as he let his camera rest on his chest.
Both women were very good, and he got a little taste of why Naruto liked wrestling as much as she did. "Wonder Women" did more of the grappling and high-flying moves (also using her Lasso to force her opponent to reveal embarrassing things that made the crowd roar and laugh,) while "Cheetah" did less of that - instead she often pulled Naru's hair; kicking, slapping, and trying to claw her opponent with her very long nails.
- Naruto always darting out of the way at the last second, normally with a cunning smile on her face.
My little wife's an actress, and wasn't that something? She was eating up the crowd's reactions like the ramen she so adored.
He missed her cooking. He missed her. He sighed pitifully as he moved around the ring, a few rows back, apologizing to the more respectful and fun-loving fans as he moved. He got a really good shot as Naruto was thrown out of the ring, right into a blonde-haired man's lap. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing.
His little wife was straddling the man and looking surprised and embarrassed, then grasped his hands, while whispering something in his ear.
Kakashi decided it was time to go.
After the show was over, Naruto waited. A short silk kimono over her costume, she answered the door after she heard a soft knock.
"It's you," she smiled. "I didn't know whether or not you'd come!"
She asked Deidara to sit down, thinking about how different and relatively normal he looked without the long bangs hanging in front of his face and with just regular clothes on: ripped jeans and a cool t-shirt with high-topped sneakers.
The more she looked at the blushing rogue-nin, the more she thought they could've passed as siblings, had she not had on her henge. Maybe her father once had family in Iwa?
Wouldn't that be something, Onoki?
"I'm glad you came. Would you like some water?" Deidara seemed to find it difficult to speak, so Naruto got a bottle of chilled water for each of them out of the minifridge in her dressing room. She opened her water and took a careful, deep drink before smiling broadly - "but don't smile too wide, Naruto:" Jiraiya's coaching tips had once again popped into her head. She would only take one drink since her lipstick would surely remain on the bottle top. She didn't want to poison herself, although Kurama could take care of it quickly enough. This was something she wanted to OVER. Quickly.
"I just felt so, so bad for landing on top of you!" Naruto tilted her head and batted her eyelashes, having gotten a lot more confident about doing this shit over the past month or so. Tadeo and Hana said that she was "naturally charming" - which was both debatable and LAUGHABLE - but she'd learned to swing with a little more confidence. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Un, no. No, not at all. Un," Deidara said, without quite looking up at her. "I've been a fan of yours since you first made it…"
"You have?" Naruto asked stupidly. The chibi-her in her brain began trying to barf.
"Un!"
"Well tell me about yourself!" Deidara blushed brightly, making Naruto feel a little bad. "What do ya do for a living?" A dark shadow crossed his face, and Naruto decided that was a pretty stupid fucking question. Jiraiya was going to kill her, wasn't he? "Obviously you know what I do!"
"Un. Saving the world and defeating the Legion of Doom?"
"You got me," Naruto giggled. She did NOT flinch - she'd swear it - when he sat up straight and moved forward so quickly, only to reach for the enormous bouquet of flowers.
"This is not art; un!"
Once again, Naruto did NOT panic, although she was a little surprised that he laughed and sat back before glaring at the flowers again. "When I sent flowers, I asked for them to be artistic."
"Are you by any chance an artist?" Naruto asked, knowing that he was in fact a terrorist.
"I am," Deidara said smugly, drawing his hand through his bangs to push them back into his ponytail. "ART is an… EXPLOSION," he said, almost scaring her for two reasons - but he only shot his fingers out before immediately fisting his gross hands again.
1. That was his catchphrase before blowing shit up, and
2. Her teammates - who were monitoring her - knew that, and she didn't want them to come running before everything was taken care of.
He looked away, seemingly embarrassed after hiding his palms.
Naruto laughed - hoping that it was as easy a sound as she intended it to be. "I like that."
"Really?"
"Yeah! I mean… I might not be an artist, but well," Naruto drawled out, tapping her chin.
"Go on," Deidara said, having moved much closer to her.
"I don't know," Naruto said, pretending to be shy or know anything about art. "When I think of art, I usually think of all that old, fuddy-duddy stuff - not that that's fair! It's just refreshing to think of something as pretty as a little explosion of confetti or glitter going off."
Deidara snorted but didn't disagree.
"I really do feel bad for landing on top of you," Naruto continued, touching his knee. She had been aiming for his arm, but he moved quickly in his chair again.
"Make it up to me; un."
"How can I do that?" Naruto asked, errantly twirling her black hair around her finger. "I don't think I want you to fall on me the same way," she teased. The plan was to have her take him to dinner as an apology (for some lovely poison) so she didn't necessarily have to…
"How about a kiss?" Deidara asked in a small voice, looking incapable of accomplishing such a feat. After a couple of seconds, he tapped his cheek with his hand - with a very flushed face.
"Well, alright. I guess I do owe you," Naruto said, smiling slyly. "Diana, Princess of the Amazons is nothing if not honorable."
Just a kiss on the cheek? She could do that, no matter how much it sickened her. He was the disgusting man who killed and so horribly disregarded Gaara's body a lifetime ago...
The blonde-turned-raven moved forward slowly and carefully, pushing her mark's fallen hair away a bit as she reached to press a kiss against his clean-shaven face, only for him to turn his head and try to forcefully shove his tongue into her mouth.
*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAP*
A flashing white light had completely blinded her. Naruto flinched back, covering her eyes as she threw herself up to cling to the ceiling.
Sukea was the first to come flying in, his Chidori ramming straight through her dressing room door.
Naruto coughed and fell down as her stomach turned. She was covered in blood again… She knew that was Kakashi's jutsu - as well as what it was capable of, but Deidara… Had he blown up?! What had happened, she didn't know, and although she was glad he wouldn't be around to ruin more people's lives - the guy had been being hunted internationally for murder and more for at least a few years now - he had seemed so normal before he…
Kakashi picked up his silent but clearly in shock wife from the corner she had fallen and backed into and sunshinned them to the nearby hotel Jiraiya had informed him of. Once again, she wouldn't respond other than to say she was blind. He also barely dodged a chakra-enhanced punch when he tried to undress her.
At least she allowed him to remain in the bathroom while she sat in a hot shower that turned cold, and although furious, she didn't force him away when he brought her towels.
"It's temporary, Naru-chan: I promise," he soothed repeatedly. "The blindness is only temporary."
The first thing he looked for when he came crashing through that door was whether she had been in any way violated, and he knew that the worst hadn't happened. The bomber had done something, though, but he'd get his answers soon enough. And if he didn't? Outside of how Naruto psychologically was, (angry, for now) it didn't matter to him. The Hatake seal was shown to be foolproof again.
No one without permission could touch or enter what was theirs.
"A shinobi's career is blood-soaked and violent."
Naruto later cleaned and packed up her room, having ignored Kakashi as her eyesight came back. She couldn't get what had happened out of her head and it was sickening. She finally looked at the man who was sitting quietly on the bed.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked.
"I'm great," she drawled.
"Naruto…"
"You can leave now that you've got your chakra," Naruto said, turning away again. "We can set up a schedule or something - not that I know anything about chakra addiction," she continued, blaming herself.
"Did you get my flowers - and the note?"
"Kakashi… I get lots of flowers."
"Oh."
"Yeah. 'OH," she grunted.
Kakashi took a deep breath. "I love you."
Naruto stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. She didn't feel anything at that little declaration - that came out of nowhere! Eventually, she let out a bitter laugh didn't otherwise respond to him.
"I figured your clones were there that day" Kakashi sighed, "when that bitch lied about all of those things…"
"She was pretty specific," Naruto said, knowing that she was quickly losing her cool. "I guess it must be great for you that she had such a good time in your bed that night. DON'T SAY IT. Don't deny it!" she seethed, speaking faster and faster, letting all the crap out that she'd been completely avoiding.
"Is that what you saved your apartment for? Even if she was some kind of crazy woman: whatever. You did your duty: you married your dead sensei's jinchuuriki daughter," she snarked, "saving her from being hooked up to Teme or maybe sealed just so she could birth every clan's super babies since if I WASN'T put down and sealed or something, I'd fucking blow up that shitty village and maybe the whole fucking continent with my multi-tailed friend!"
Kakashi sunshinned forward and covered her mouth with his hand as he moved her against the wall.
Naruto tried to bite him and he gave her a very unimpressed look as he pressed himself closer to her. "Don't say such things. You don't mean them." Feeling her posture subtly change - although her bright blue eyes were rimmed in red and burned with fury - he released her naughty little mouth, but only pinned her more, bending down to put his face into her neck; his knee between her legs. He inhaled and felt himself begin to relax, but he had to deal with this little vixen first.
"And never say that, Naru-chan. The idea of you with someone else makes me insane," he hissed before taking a deep breath. "I want to move back into my flat with you," he admitted, then held her hands over her head when she tried to punch him. "Violent minx! What am I going to do with you?"
"Nothing! Absolutely NOTHING is what you're going to do with me," Naruto sassed, although he could probably see and feel how fast her heart was racing.
Kakashi began to grin at her and damn that man: how dare he be so handsome and fucking smug! "I will bite your face off!" She tried to knee him in the crotch, but he moved, then stepped on her feet, putting all his weight on them and against her legs! Asshole!
"I don't trust the house."
"The home we supposedly made," Naruto back-talked. "Right."
"Too many people can get into it."
"Chicken!"
Kakashi snarled as he bit at her neck, then tossed her on the bed, landing on top of her. "Listen here, my pretty little WIFE," he said in a low, menacing voice. "It was YOU I admitted my feelings for: YOU were the one sleeping when I said I loved you but needed time to say it." He whipped out handcuffs and secured her hands over her head.
"Let me go," Naruto cried, not wanting to move but SO wanting to believe his words.
Kakashi snorted as he sat up before reaching around in the Sukea-clothes he was still wearing and pulling out some binds. Naruto thrashed around, but he secured her legs within a minute. He snuggled against her, putting his arms around her waist as she calmed down. "I love you so much. Can I tell you an A-ranked secret?"
Naruto's curiosity won out even as she glared at him. "You shouldn't."
"You're my wife. Anything S-ranked is out, but I know you'll keep your mouth shut."
Naruto was shocked. She had ALWAYS been accused of having such a big mouth: supposedly unable to keep any secret to the point that her family had once been hidden from her. "I will," she said in a small voice. Kakashi sat up on her hips.
"The Lock village has a jutsu that allows them to record what they see and experience. It even allows the user to go into one's mind and record their targets' experiences," Kakashi said, continuing with emphasis, "their memories."
"A dojutsu?" Naruto asked, probably too interested for her own good.
Kakashi shook his head. "No. You would think so, right?" he said, smiling softly at her.
"Yeah," Naruto agreed thoughtfully. "Can you let me go now?"
"Maybe tomorrow."
"Kakashi," Naruto said in an extremely aggravated tone before he interrupted.
"That woman," he sneered before running his fingers through his hair, "who I may have helped when I was younger - thus why she was assigned to me - was from that village. I threw her off the bridge," Kakashi continued despite Naruto's little gasp - she was so naive - "but we caught the others and Inoichi examined them."
Naruto pulled a disturbed face, and Kakashi was glad that she realized that she needed to avoid Inoichi Yamanaka. He nodded at her. That man's jutsu was thorough and disturbing. - And could certainly be painful to those he didn't trust.
"I… I hate her," he admitted, looking away and knowing that hating someone dead would only poison him. Naruto had gone quiet and still, though, and he just wanted to get everything off his chest.
Having been stuck with ROOT drones - although most were getting better - who had lost the ability to feel emotions; getting sicker and sicker - and more desperate for and without Naru had made him think about a LOT of things.
"She took something away from us," Kakashi said before narrowing his eyes and adding with a darker voice, "humiliated us…"
"Us?" Naruto asked, wanting to confirm what he meant.
"You and me," Kakashi said, wondering for a moment if she really was an air-head, after all. The thought made him smirk, and her furious little pout and glare made him move down to rub his face against hers again. He scented her hair and neck, tickling her, it seemed, then nibbled at her ear. She bit him back with a little snarl, making him groan as he pushed his growing arousal into her core.
Naruto let out a beautiful sound that, judging from her face, she didn't intend to let him hear.
That just wouldn't do.
Then she tried to knee him, making him drop more of his weight on her.
"You're too good for me although you are crazy," he whispered before moving to glance over at her sweet, now irritated face, "but so am I." He brought his head up more to better look into her eyes. "Seriously, Naru-chan. I'm a mess. I am moody, cold, and demanding. My jealousy for anyone around you is a problem."
"Maa, I'm possessive and have often been called wild." (No, what I've been called is "an animal" but Naruto isn't too different.) "…And stubborn - but so are you. Let's be a mess together, shall we?"
His little wife softly snorted, but a smile had also appeared - just barely - so he continued, bringing his hand to stretch out across her lower belly. "And what you said before? One of these days - soon - I'm going to be the one to knock you up," he went on, internally sniggering at the way her eyes popped out. It was true, after all: he'd decided, and that was that. "Only me. No one else. And between the two of us, our pups are going to be little nightmares."
Naruto's mouth fell open. "That's - that's horrible! Don't say… that! Good God!"
"I will say that." He propped himself up on his elbows more, moving to wrap his hand in her soft hair and so glad that Jiraiya had taken her additional seals off so that he was looking at and feeling the real her. "I really love you, Naru-chan."
Naruto struggled to touch him in vain before rolling her eyes and letting out an aggrieved sigh. She felt her heart struggling to open back up and would've cried had this happened a month ago. "Stupid man," she whispered, telling him off. "I love you, too."
"But you have to be punished."
Naruto's mouth fell open and she gulped down a lump in her throat. "Kakashi. We need to have a serious talk!"