Locum Tenens

by snowballs

Locum Tenens – place holder, substitute. Paige & Emily have been connected through only one girl. Jai has been Emily's girlfriend for almost 3 years & Paige's best friend for 7. When she died, the dynamic between the two drastically shifted. As Emily slowly comes to grips with her loss, she enters into a tentative relationship with Paige. But has Emily truly let go? Paily AU.

35. non progredi : chapter ix

DISCLAIMER: Pretty Little Liars and all its characters is the intellectual property of others. Some characters used in the writing of this fic belong to PLL. Events that transpire, will transpire and have transpired in this story are entirely of my own creation.

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Second to the last chapter is up. Hope everyone is safe. Thanks again for the reviews.

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PART THREE: "Non Progredi Est Regredi"

~ To not go forward is to go backward. ~

CHAPTER NINE

Present Day…

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Reese cursed as she rummaged through her bag.

"What's wrong with you?" Paige asked, momentarily taking her eyes off the crowd to look at the girl seated next to her.

The rest of the drive to the airport was uneventful. They still made it in record time even if Reese drove at a speed slower than the girl was used to. It also helped that their flight was delayed for an hour. It gave Paige a chance to breathe and process what they were about to do. This was it. She was on her way to make her dream come true. Granted she almost didn't make it, but she didn't want to dwell on that right now.

"I can't find my wallet and I'm starving." Reese complained without looking at her friend. "Changing that tire burned the chicken I had for lunch."

"Here. Maybe once you've eaten a sandwich or something you'll find that wallet of yours." Paige said, handing the girl a twenty.

"Thanks. I'll pay you back later." Reese promised. "Want me to get you anything? Water? Chips? Magazine? Pack of gum?"

"See if they have Sour Patch Kids." Paige answered.

"Okay. Watch my things." Reese said before disappearing into the crowd.

Paige craned her neck to follow where the girl was headed but gave up when she lost sight of Reese's head. She turned her attention on the girl's things instead, only looking away when she heard someone call out her name. At first Paige couldn't see who it was, but once she did, she got up and smiled at Jai and Kayla.

"Hey guys." Paige uttered in greeting. "I'm glad you made it." She continued, managing to keep her expression neutral when she noticed that Emily wasn't with them.

"We're not letting you leave without seeing you off." Jai replied.

"Sorry it's just us." Kayla chimed in.

"Yeah. Emily couldn't make it." Jai continued. "She said she has this final exam to study for and with her dad home—"

"Right. The last time I saw her she was practically buried behind a mountain of books." Kayla supplied before exchanging a subtle glance with her sister. "She said to tell you good luck."

"Of course. Her studies are more important. Tell her I said thanks." Paige added, trying to sound like it was no big deal and that she understood. "Oh, how was the cook off?" She asked to change the subject.

"Well I didn't win but one of the judges offered me a summer job at the greasy spoon she owns near Penrose Avenue." Kayla answered. "Suddenly I feel so mature and responsible. Oh my god guys I'm an adult." She lamented.

Paige laughed. "Congratulations. On the summer job, I mean." She added then hugged the girl briefly. "I'm still on the fence about this whole adult thing." She quipped before looking at Jai. "What about you? What are your plans for the summer?"

"Basically, get free meals at the Penrose Diner every chance I get." Jai replied as she put one arm around her sister.

"Hey! Freeloader!" Kayla teased, laughing with the two girls.

"But seriously, I don't know yet." Jai admitted. "Maybe I'll use this ticket I bought and fly to... Kyoto for a week." She continued after checking the boarding pass she was holding. "I just have to get by with arigatō, itadakimasu, and baibu. Though I think that last one isn't fit to be said in public."

"Yes! It's not." Kayla agreed, her eyes growing wide in alarm. "Please don't say baibu in public. Try sayōnara or oishii."

"Right. Well I'm still on the fence about it anyway. Maybe I'll just go next year and learn to speak Nippongo first." Jai said before pocketing the ticket. "Don't worry about it. Just come back safe."

Paige nodded. "I will. I'll see you two in a few months." She promised.

"Kayla... could you watch Paige's things for a few minutes? I just need to talk to her." Jai asked, looking at her sister.

"Um… sure." Kayla replied then took a seat on the chair Paige was occupying earlier.

"And Reese's." Paige added, pointing to the bags on the seat next to hers. "She just went to buy something to eat so she should be back any minute now." She explained before following Jai to a relatively secluded spot. "What's up?"

"Well first I just want to apologize again for everything that's happened the past year." Jai began.

"Don't worry about it. Water, bridge." Paige said, gesturing with her hands. "We'll always be friends, no matter what."

"I have a lot of making up to do so you better come back." Jai said wryly.

"I will." Paige promised. "But until then, don't do anything monumental." She told her friend with a pointed look. "Despite everything, I want to see you happy with her."

"Don't worry. I'm not planning to do anything life-changing anytime soon." Jai swore. "But don't dwell too much on what's going on here while you're out there chasing your dream. Kick their asses." She added encouragingly before taking a step forward to hug her friend.

It took Paige a couple of seconds to get over her surprise and then she finally returned the girl's hug. "Thanks." She uttered, smiling a little at the gesture.

Doctor Henry Dunn, paging Doctor Henry Dunn. Please proceed to gate twenty.

Paige looked up and took a step back when she heard the name being called over the PA system. Something about it sounded familiar and she looked around the crowded airport curiously.

Doctor Henry Dunn, paging Doctor Henry Dunn...

---

Two Months Ago...

Paging Doctor Helen Gunn, please proceed to the nurses' station.

Paige slowly opened her eyes and groaned in pain when the slightest movement made her head pound. She tried to touch her forehead but her arm felt heavy so she just stayed still, disoriented.

"Just relax, honey. You're in the hospital." Nick said, getting up from his seat to walk over to his daughter's bed.

"Dad?" Paige uttered hoarsely and recalled the accident when she saw the worried look in the man's eyes. She tried to move but felt too weak and her body was sore, so she just tried to give her father a faint smile.

"You're okay." Nick said, as if reassuring himself. "Don't get up. Just take it easy."

"Water." Paige croaked.

Nick hastily poured some water on a plastic cup and placed a straw in it. "Here." He said as he positioned the cup in front of his daughter. "Slowly." He added, helping the girl lift herself up to take a sip.

"Thanks." Paige uttered before lying down again. "What's going on?" She asked, looking at her father in confusion when she saw a couple of cops outside her room.

Nick glanced behind him and shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Do you recall what happened?" He asked instead.

"Uh... last thing I remember, I was waiting for the light to change. Then I heard someone blow their horn behind me so I shifted the gear to drive." Paige relayed slowly. "Then out of nowhere I heard this horn again and I saw this minivan coming at me. The driver must've run a red light—"

"No. He didn't. You fell asleep behind the wheel and ran a red light." Nick corrected while studying his daughter. "The doctor said you suffered a slight concussion and you broke your shoulder from when your car turned over but other than that you're going to be fine. Where were you coming from?"

"An all-nighter study group at my team captain's room." Paige lied. "I didn't realize how sleepy I was until I was behind the wheel and on my way home. Did I hurt anyone? Is that why the cops are here?" She asked, growing pale.

Nick shook his head. "No. They just want to find out what happened. The driver of the minivan already gave his statement. I told them you'd give yours once you're well enough." He explained. "I called Logan and asked him to talk to the cops. I'm still not clear as to what's going to happen. If they're going to charge you with something. I'm sure Logan and I can fix this. But honey, I don't want you pulling an all-nighter at someone else's room again. Just invite them over to your place if you need to study for an exam."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Paige promised. "But dad, there's no way I ran a red light. I woke up moments before the crash." She insisted. "The light was red so I rested my eyes for a second. I woke up when this car behind me began blowing its horn. I thought the light was green and the driver was impatient so I released the handbrake, stepped on the gas, and crossed the intersection."

Nick forced his expression to remain calm as he studied his daughter. "Honey, the cops showed me the footage from one of the traffic cameras in that intersection. There was no car behind you." He revealed.

"What? No. That's not possible. I heard honking." Paige swore.

"You were probably woken up when you accidentally leaned on the horn of your car. That's where the noise came from. The light wasn't green, honey. It was still red." Nick insisted.

Paige stared blankly at her father as she processed what the man just told her. "I ran a red light?" She repeated, the gravity of the situation finally sinking in. "Dad—"

"It's okay." Nick reassured his daughter. "Just focus on getting better. We'll figure something out." He promised, touching the girl's arm soothingly.

---

Emily blankly stared at the immaculate ceiling of her bedroom, barely paying attention to the various sounds outside her room. Her head was starting to pound from all the thinking she was doing but she couldn't stop. She had to figure out a way to get out of the mess she was in but she didn't know where to start. Her talk with Spencer didn't help. She finally found the courage to confess to one of her best friends what happened between her and Paige, at least some of it, but instead of feeling relieved, she's more confused than ever. A sharp knock on the door made her blink and she tore her gaze away from the ceiling, wondering if she just imagined hearing the sound. When there was another knock, Emily got up and quickly made her way toward the door.

"Hey." Jai uttered in greeting.

"Jai. Hey." Emily repeated, hastily fixing her hair while mentally berating herself for not checking her reflection first before answering the door.

"I didn't mean to catch you at a bad time. You weren't answering your phone so I figured I'd try my luck and see if you were here instead." Jai explained apologetically.

"Oh. Sorry. I forgot to take it off silent." Emily said before stepping aside to let the girl in. "Why did you want to see me?" She asked, growing a little nervous.

"I just want to apologize for the way I acted yesterday. The way I handled things wasn't exactly mature." Jai admitted as she took a seat on her girlfriend's bed.

"Which part? Was it when you refused to talk to me and just left? Or was it when you almost beat your best friend unconscious? You could've seriously hurt her, Jai." Emily reprimanded.

Jai looked up at her girlfriend defensively. "She slept with you and my sister." She reminded the girl. "I'm not saying that as an excuse for hurting her. I'm just saying I lost it."

"Yeah but did you have to hurt her like that?" Emily asked, arms crossed.

"Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I let my anger get the best of me. I just can't believe you gave yourself to her and that my sister comforted her the worst way possible." Jai confessed. "I don't want to lose you."

Emily finally took a seat next to the girl and reached for Jai's hand. "I chose you." She reminded her girlfriend. "I still want a future with you and I want to make this work." Emily continued, ignoring the guilt she felt for not telling the girl what almost happened with Paige last night. She couldn't risk coming clean when their relationship was this fragile. Jai could only forgive her so much. She already ruined the girl's friendship with Paige. She didn't want to cause more trouble.

"I know." Jai answered, squeezing Emily's hand. "I promise I'll do my part." She continued as she reached for her phone when she felt it vibrating. "But I have to ask. Did you tell Paige everything before you slept with her?"

"No. She just knew I had misgivings before we finally decided to do it." Emily admitted, choosing her words carefully since she knew it was a touchy subject for the girl. "She knows part of the story and that's the way I'd like to keep it. There's no point in telling her everything."

Jai nodded understandingly before glancing at her phone. "Sorry. I have to get this." She said when she saw who was calling. "Hi, dad. No, I haven't talked to her." Jai replied before checking the time on her watch. "I just got here at Harrison. What's wrong?" She asked, her brows furrowing as she listened intently. "What?! Oh my g... Is she...? Good. That's good to hear." Jai continued as she glanced at her girlfriend. "I'll call Kayla and we'll meet you there. Okay. Bye."

"What is it? What's wrong?" Emily asked when she saw the anxiety on the girl's face.

"It's Paige. She's in the hospital. She got into a car accident this morning." Jai revealed while staring at her phone, her tone worried. "She's resting now. Dad said she has some cuts and bruises and that her shoulder was dislocated but other than that she's fine." Jai explained before getting up. "I have to go find Kayla. Do you want to come?"

Emily felt the blood drain from her face the second she heard the news. It was happening all over again. Only back then, Jai's best friend was the one who broke the news to her.

"You haven't heard?" Paige asked, feeling sick to her stomach that she had to be the bearer of bad news.

"Heard what?" Emily replied.

"Jai's plane." Paige uttered and hoped those two words were enough to let the girl know the horrifying reality.

"No." Emily said, shaking her head. "No." She repeated firmly.

Paige swallowed hard. "It's all over the news." She said softly. "I'm so sorry." Paige repeated, feeling helpless as she watched the girl breakdown.

"Oh God. No." Emily cried as she crumpled in a heap on the floor. "No. No. No."

"Em?" Jai uttered, bringing the girl back to reality. "Are you coming?"

"Um, no. You should go ahead. I have to study for an exam on Monday." Emily lied as she forced herself to get up and walk over to her study table.

Jai frowned. "But it's just Wednesday. You can still study over the weekend." She reminded the girl. "Em, I know I said some awful things yesterday. And I'm not exactly comfortable with you and her being in the same room together but… right now she needs us."

"I know. But I have to cover a lot of reading material so I should really start studying." Emily explained, her back still turned to Jai. "I'll just visit her some other time." She continued while pretending to look for books so the girl won't notice how shaken up she is.

"If you say so. Are you okay?" Jai asked, walking over to her girlfriend.

"Uh huh!" Emily answered and forced a smile on her lips as she turned around to face Jai. "Go find your sister." She urged, planting a kiss on the girl's cheek.

Emily managed to walk Jai to the door and close it before her knees finally buckled. For a moment she just sat on the floor, the news of Paige's accident threatening to trigger her anxiety again. She took several deep breaths to calm herself but ended up sobbing in relief at the realization that she almost lost the girl again.

---

"Oh come on! Spieth is a way better player than Mickelson. He beat him and Rose by four strokes!"

"Yes. But it's Spieth's first time to win in the Masters. Mickelson has won three."

"Only because he's older."

"Age doesn't have anything to do with it."

"Actually, it does. You just said Mickelson has won three. He's older. Obviously he would've won more times than Spieth."

"Okay then, let's just consider their stats. Spieth won by four shots, four strokes, and a winning score of negative eighteen. Mickelson's best stat out of the three, if I remember correctly, was just by negative sixteen and he won by three strokes and a one-shot deficit."

"Why are you singling out his performance in the 2010 Masters? If you really want to compare their scores-"

Paige slowly opened her eyes at the sound of Reese's and Nick's voices. Their heated conversation was starting to give her a headache and she groaned in pain, making them stop.

"Take it easy." Reese said, getting up from the chair she was sitting on when her friend tried to get up.

"I see you two have met." Paige commented weakly.

"Your teammates dropped by when they heard what happened. Reese here offered to stay until you woke up." Nick explained. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." Paige admitted. "But better."

Nick nodded. "Then I guess I can step outside for a minute. I need to make some calls." He said when he saw the time. "Look after her?"

"I will." Reese promised.

"How did you find out?" Paige asked when her dad left the room.

"I called you, but your dad answered." Reese replied. "I told the rest of the team and we decided to come over. But your dad said you were resting so they'll just come back when you're well enough to entertain more visitors."

"Except for you." Paige pointed out. "How did you manage to stay behind?"

Reese shrugged. "I have my ways." She said with a grin. "I didn't know your dad's cool."

Paige's eyes widened. "Cool?" She repeated, almost choking. "You're the first person to use that word to describe him. Most people say he's detached."

"Oh he's scary." Reese admitted. "He was so serious when he let me in here. He finally warmed up to me when I told him not to change the channel."

Paige looked up at the TV screen and saw what was on. "Masters golf tournament. I thought I was dreaming when I was woken up by your heated conversation." She said wryly.

"Hey, golf is cool. Don't mock it." Reese told the girl in a serious tone. "I love golf."

"Yeah. I can see that." Paige answered, trying to keep a straight face. "You're the first person to actually connect with my dad. I'm impressed."

"Seriously? What about Jai?" Reese asked, surprised.

Paige shook her head. "She rarely spends time at my house so they never really got a chance to bond. And Jai doesn't like golf. That's why we're friends." She added jokingly.

Reese made a face. "Funny, newbie. I guess you're feeling a whole lot better since you're back to making lame jokes." She retorted. "Mind telling me what's going on?" Reese asked, growing serious.

"I fell asleep behind the wheel and ran a red light." Paige replied.

"Yeah, your dad filled me in. But the part where he told me you were coming home from a group study with me has me confused." Reese clarified. "Don't worry. I covered for you this time." She added when she saw the panic in the girl's eyes. "I appreciate a head's up next time, though. That's why I want to know the truth. Where were you really coming from yesterday morning?"

"It's a long story." Paige answered vaguely.

"You're not going anywhere anytime soon." Reese pointed out. "Paige, either you come clean to me now or I tell your dad I was just covering for you when he comes back. It's up to you."

"Please don't do that." Paige implored. "I'm gonna get into so much trouble."

"Why? Is this about Emily again?" Reese asked suspiciously. When the girl didn't say anything, she pulled a chair and sat in front of Paige. "You better start talking." She told the girl with a grim expression.

---

Emily released the breath she was holding in as soon as the elevator doors slid open and hesitantly stepped out to the busy hospital floor, wondering where to go next. Her grip tightened on the basket of flowers she bought at the gift shop downstairs as she turned to her left and made her way down the corridor, her palms starting to sweat as she neared Paige's room. Though she felt like she couldn't find it in her to visit the girl when she found out what happened yesterday, Emily realized she couldn't stay away and finally decided to go to the hospital. She hasn't been able to take her mind off Paige since Jai told her about the accident. She had to see the girl to know Paige was really okay.

"I guess you're feeling a whole lot better since you're back to making lame jokes. Mind telling me what's going on?" Emily heard someone ask when she reached Paige's room. The door was slightly ajar and from the small gap, she saw that Reese was standing next to Paige's bed, obscuring her view of the girl.

"I fell asleep behind the wheel and ran a red light." Emily heard Paige reply.

"Yeah, your dad filled me in. But the part where he told me you were coming home from a group study with me has me confused. Don't worry. I covered for you this time. I appreciate a head's up next time, though. That's why I want to know the truth. Where were you really coming from yesterday morning?" Reese asked.

"It's a long story." Paige answered.

"You're not going anywhere anytime soon." Reese pointed out. "Paige, either you come clean to me now or I tell your dad I was just covering for you when he comes back. It's up to you."

"Please don't do that." Paige implored. "I'm gonna get into so much trouble."

Emily was about to knock on the door, thinking she could save Paige from having to answer Reese's question by announcing her presence, but the girl's next words made her stop.

"Why? Is this about Emily again?" Reese asked suspiciously.

Emily's brows creased when she heard her name and her eyes slightly widened when Reese moved to pull a chair, giving her a glimpse of the girl lying on the bed.

"You better start talking." Reese demanded as she sat in front of Paige.

Emily barely listened as the girl recounted what happened, starting from the night she came back to Paige's apartment after the surprise party and what happened after. She was too busy trying to forget the sight of the girl lying on the hospital bed to focus on what Paige was saying. Emily couldn't be sure but from where she stood, the girl was in pretty bad shape. Paige's left arm was in a sling and there was a bandage wrapped around her head. She also noticed a few cuts and bruises on the girl's face, and Paige looked so pale and weak sitting on that bed that Emily was afraid to go near and touch her.

"Does she know?" Emily heard Reese ask once Paige was done telling her story.

"She doesn't need to. I don't want her to blame herself for something that happened because of my recklessness." Paige replied.

"Are you kidding me?! You're here because she kicked you out." Reese said emphatically.

"I'm here because I suffer from insomnia and I fell asleep behind the wheel." Paige corrected. "Her letting me in wouldn't have made a difference because whether I was lying on Spencer's bed or sitting on the floor outside her room, I wouldn't have been able to sleep."

"At least you would've been comfortable." Reese argued. "Why are you letting her treat you this way? She's not worth it."

Ashamed and guilt-ridden, Emily decided she's heard enough and took a step back. She couldn't face Paige right now. Not when Reese was in the room, telling the girl what she was thinking herself. She turned around and quickly made her way back the way she came, throwing the basket of flowers in the trashcan beside the elevator before pressing the down button. Emily was at a loss as to what to do next and she crossed her arms in front of her chest in an effort to comfort herself. She could feel the tears coming and she bit her bottom lip, wishing the elevator car would get to her floor already. Emily didn't know where to go. She just knew she needed to get out of there.

---

"I'm serious." Reese said firmly. "You know I'm all for you getting your happy ending with her, but this isn't healthy. You need to listen to me and let her go for real."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" Paige asked, slightly defensive.

"Honestly? I think you're still waiting." Reese answered. "And that needs to stop. Look at yourself. It's a miracle you came out of that accident with just a broken arm and some cuts and bruises. You could've died."

"I know that." Paige said, looking away.

"Newbie… I'm not trying to be the bad guy here." Reese told her friend gently. "I'm just looking out for you. I know you still love her. But you have to learn to love yourself first." She continued. "And no matter who you love, don't ever forget the people who actually care about you unconditionally. Like your dad. You're all he's got and he's pretty shaken up about what happened."

"It's not like I did this on purpose." Paige argued.

"I'm not saying you did. And I'm not trying to make you feel guilty." Reese reassured the girl. "I'm just saying... you've been given a second chance here. Don't mess it up. You were really lucky the injuries you sustained can heal before you have to compete for the WTS. You would've missed out on your dream all because you couldn't let go of one girl."

"Don't blame her." Paige said edgily.

"I'm not. At least not entirely. I'm blaming you and that big heart of yours." Reese told her friend with a sad smile. "It's time you let her go. I think you know that. You're just too stubborn to wave the white flag. Let her go, and don't look back."

---

Jai momentarily stopped rummaging through her messenger bag for her room keys once the elevator doors opened on her floor. She stepped outside and managed to walk a couple of steps before deciding to search again. She could've sworn she put her keys in one of the pockets of her bag this morning but now she couldn't find them.

"Come on." Jai muttered, frustrated. This day has been anything but good and she just needed a break. Even if it's just finding her damn keys. "Are you kidding me?!" She exclaimed before stopping a few steps near her room to rummage her bag thoroughly.

"Need help?" Jai stopped what she was doing and looked at the girl seated on the floor with mild surprise.

"Uh, no. Thanks. I got it." Jai answered, her grip tightening on the keys she found stuck between the pages of one of her books. "What are you doing here? I thought we didn't have plans tonight?" She asked as she walked the rest of the way to extend a hand to her girlfriend.

"We don't. I just needed to see you." Emily confessed, reaching for Jai's hand and getting up.

"You should've called or waited downstairs. You didn't have to sit on the floor." Jai mildly chastised then tucked a strand of hair behind the girl's ear.

"It's fine. I haven't been waiting long anyway." Emily lied. The truth was she went straight to the girl's place after leaving the hospital earlier. She didn't know why. She just knew Jai would somehow make everything okay, if not better.

"What's wrong?" Jai asked, inclining her head to the side as she studied the girl. "You look troubled."

Emily shook her head. "Nothing. Today hasn't been the best day is all." She replied.

Jai smiled faintly. "I know what you mean. Tell me about your day and I'll tell you about mine." She suggested, walking past the girl to open the door to her room.

"How was your exam?" Emily asked as she followed Jai inside.

"Bloody. I hope I get a passing grade." Jai confessed with a sigh. "My brain is so fried the only thing I can think of doing right now is collapsing on my bed. And maybe have some food delivered. You in?"

"Sounds like a plan." Emily agreed. "Though your couch is nearer. Change the bed to couch?" She suggested, gesturing to the Lawson-style sofa in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, okay. I'll probably fall asleep on my bed anyway and I don't want to be one of those girls who fall asleep on their girlfriend." Jai said wryly. "What are you in the mood for?" She asked as she lowered her bag on the floor.

"Anything but pizza." Emily answered, making a face.

"How do you feel about Thai?" Jai asked. "We could order Pad Thai and Shrimp in the Blanket? I think I still have a menu in the kitchen somewhere."

"Wait." Emily uttered, reaching for Jai's hand before the girl could leave. "I need to give you this." She continued as she fished for something in the back pocket of her jeans.

"What is it?" Jai asked, mildly curious.

"Remember this?" Emily said in reply as she held up her St. Christopher necklace for the girl to see. "It was all I got back from when you... after the crash."

Jai's eyes grew wide in surprise. "You got it back? But how? This was in one of the pockets of my carry-on." She recalled while touching the pendant absentmindedly.

"Logan returned it to me." Emily answered. "He said when the plane crashed at sea some of the passengers' luggage were recovered. I'd like to think it was your way of getting home to me back then."

"I thought I lost it. I can't believe my carry-on ended up..." Jai trailed off, her gaze still on the necklace.

"I want you to have it. This time for good." Emily added before placing the necklace on her girlfriend's palm.

"What? I don't deserve this. I already lost it once." Jai reminded the girl. "Besides, I don't need it because I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon."

"Please? Keep this with you just to be sure." Emily insisted. Losing Jai once was enough. Almost losing Paige made her realize she couldn't handle it if something happened to Jai again.

"Okay." Jai uttered, finally accepting the necklace when she heard the worry in the girl's voice. "I'll take better care of it this time. I'll never take it off." She promised. "Thanks for always looking out for me." Jai continued before planting a soft kiss on Emily's cheek. "Now make yourself comfortable while I order dinner. Thai's good, right?"

Emily nodded wordlessly and grabbed the remote control on the coffee table before settling on the couch as Jai disappeared in the kitchen to make the call. She turned the TV on, switched the channel from History to Bravo, and then watched the contestants of Top Chef absentmindedly as they proved their knife skills in the elimination challenge.

"I also ordered Thai Dumplings just in case you're in the mood for some pork." Jai said as she entered the room five minutes later.

"Thanks." Emily replied as she switched the channel back to History.

"You know you don't have to do that." Jai told the girl wryly as she sat on the couch next to her. "We can watch Top Chef if you want."

"But America Unearthed is on. I know how much you love that show." Emily said, surrendering the remote to her girlfriend.

"Not as much as I love you." Jai replied before changing the channel back to Bravo.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, studying the girl.

"Yeah. Why? Do you want me to protest or something?" Jai replied with a puzzled look.

Emily shook her head. "No. I guess I just forgot how easy it was watching TV with you. You always let me have my way." She admitted.

Jai reached for Emily's hand and squeezed it. "Well of course. I love you. If you want to watch Top Chef, let's watch Top Chef." She told the girl with a smile. "It's no big deal. It's just a TV show."

"Thanks." Emily uttered, turning to face the TV screen but out of the corner of her eye she was studying Jai. She should've felt happy. Back when they were dating in high school Jai always let her have her way. And back then she loved it. She thought it proved how much Jai loves her. And maybe it did. But…

"I will not let you watch Top Chef. I want to watch America's Next Top Model!" Paige exclaimed as she moved her arm as far away as possible so Emily can't reach the remote control.

"How could you watch that? That show objectifies women!" Emily argued, faking a left before reaching for the remote from the right but the girl was fast.

"Because. Have you seen those girls? They're hot. I mean not hotter than you..." Paige hurriedly reassured the girl. "But they're hot. The only way you can get me to watch Top Chef is if you're a contestant."

"I want to watch Top Chef." Emily said with a pout.

"And I want to watch ANTM." Paige countered, refusing to let the girl's kissable lips weaken her resolve. "We're in my apartment. I get dibs on the TV remote."

Emily narrowed her eyes and decided to give the girl her best puppy eyes look. "Please?" She asked.

"Oh come on. That's not fair!" Paige exclaimed and she tightened her grip on the remote. "I refuse to give this up without a fight."

"Please?" Emily repeated, flashing the girl a smile that showed off her dimples.

Paige sighed. "Okay how about this. How about we do a mini debate? Tell me why I should watch your TV preference and I'll tell you why you should watch mine." She suggested before placing the remote on the coffee table.

Emily eyed the remote and thought about grabbing it but decided to play fair instead. "Fine." She replied, confident she can convince the girl to see things her way.

"Okay then. I'll go first." Paige volunteered. "I think we should watch ANTM over Top Chef tonight for several reasons. First..."

Emily's throat constricted at the memory. The rest of that night was spent discussing the pros and cons of watching two different reality TV shows, each of them refusing to let the other win. By the time they realized it, the shows they wanted to watch were over but Emily didn't feel annoyed that she missed Top Chef that night. Because she enjoyed fighting with Paige over a mere TV show. They weren't yelling or throwing things at each other. But they were fighting for something they both wanted. And she liked that. She enjoyed fighting for what she wanted. At least she thought so. Now she doesn't know which Emily she is. She didn't know if she wanted Jai, who gave her what she asked for without a fight because she loves her; or Paige, who undoubtedly loves her too but fought with her constantly, refusing to give her what she wanted without a fight.

What do I want?

---

"Easy." Kayla cautioned when she heard Paige grunt as she helped the girl move to a more comfortable position on her hospital bed. "Is that better?"

Paige nodded. "Yeah. Thanks." She replied. Truth be told she was still aching all over, but she didn't want the girl to worry so she mustered the strength to give Kayla a reassuring smile.

"I really shouldn't have told you to go talk to Emily." Kayla blurted out. "I'm sorry. If I stayed out of it like you told me dozens of times you wouldn't be here."

"Hey. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would've gone to Harrison sooner or later even if we didn't have that conversation. I wanted to make sure she was okay." Paige admitted. "Come on. Don't look so glum. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay. Uh... when are you getting out?" Kayla asked after a beat before sitting on the chair next to the bed.

"Not sure when exactly but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get to go home before the week ends." Paige replied, her tone hopeful. "I overheard my dad talking to the doctor last night and he said he's keeping me here just to make sure I'm getting the rest I need."

Kayla laughed. "He knows you too well." She commented, much to Paige's chagrin. "I think my dad talked to him when you were admitted."

"I ache all over." Paige reluctantly confessed. "Believe me, I plan on staying in bed as much as possible."

"Has my sister come by?" Kayla suddenly asked when her gaze landed on the basket of flowers, get-well-soon cards, and balloons on the table next to the bed.

Paige nodded. "Dad said she came by the day of the accident but I was asleep. He said you were with her." She reminded the girl.

"I meant other than that time." Kayla clarified.

"Oh. Well, then, no. She hasn't." Paige answered. "Which is probably for the best since I don't know what to start apologizing for."

"What are you talking about? You don't owe her an apology." Kayla said, brows creased.

"Yes, I do." Paige insisted. "Emily was right. I didn't know what I was thinking, putting our friendship at stake when I slept with you." She confessed. "And in case I haven't said it enough, I'm really sorry about that. Even if you say you wanted what happened." Paige added before the girl could protest. "I took advantage of you that night. At the back of my mind I think I knew how you felt. Emily kept telling me… you even told me when you were drunk and then kissed me. But I didn't care. I was being selfish that night when I ignored the part of my brain screaming don't do it."

"Sorry I made the situation worse." Kayla uttered. "Both with Jai and Emily. I guess you could say I was being selfish too. Speaking of. What about Emily? Has she come by to visit?"

Paige shook her head. "No. She's probably still mad at me." She said glumly.

Noticing the girl's expression, Kayla clapped her hands once and got up. "I could use some cafeteria food." She declared. "Need anything to help you study?" Kayla asked, gesturing to the clutter in front of the girl.

"Sour Patch Kids." Paige answered after a while.

"I guess someone's ten again." Kayla teased. "I'll see what I can do." She promised before leaving.

Left to herself, Paige resumed reading the notes Reese brought her yesterday and managed to highlight a few words before she heard a hesitant knock on the door. She looked up just in time to see Emily open the door and she hid her surprise and joy at the sight of the girl.

"May I?" Emily asked, gesturing to the room then stepping inside when the girl nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Still a little sore. But better." Paige answered.

"That's good to hear. Sorry I didn't come by sooner." Emily said as she walked closer.

"It's fine. To be honest I wasn't expecting a visit from you after our last conversation." Paige admitted.

"I think that was a fight." Emily corrected lightly. "And of course I would come visit you. I just thought you didn't want to see me so I was hesitant to come by."

"Well, then I'm glad we had this conversation." Paige said with a smile.

"Me, too." Emily uttered in agreement. "What are you doing?" She asked, her gaze shifting to the clutter in front of the girl.

"Studying." Paige replied while struggling with her good arm to return the cap of the highlighter she was just using. "At least I'm trying to. I have exams next week and since I'm bored out of my mind, I decided to get some studying done."

"You do know that watching TV requires less brain cells." Emily reminded the girl.

"Yeaaaaaah... but my head hurts from having to look up." Paige said, pointing at the flatscreen TV mounted on the wall in front of her. "And whenever I'm watching a show and my dad or Reese show up, I end up changing the channel to ESPN just so they could watch golf."

"What happened to getting dibs on the remote? Isn't this your hospital room?" Emily asked, amused.

"Well my dad's paying for it and Reese has been... awesome." Paige continued grudgingly. "Ever since the accident she's been coming over. Bringing me notes, food, even gossip. I can't say no when she wants to watch golf."

"So the key to making you give up the remote is a juicy gossip." Emily commented before crossing her arms. "Now I know."

"And food and notes." Paige added, pointing to the clutter in front of her.

"If I offer to help you study, do I get dibs on the remote?" Emily asked as she reached for some looseleaf sheets without waiting for a reply.

"Depends on how good a teacher you are." Paige bantered.

"I think I'm pretty good… if memory serves." Emily added, their eyes lingering at each other for a moment before she cleared her throat nervously. "Let's see... a law that is passed by the legislature that governs social behavior, it may be specific or vague, with the interpretation of vague laws left to the court."

Paige creased her brows in concentration as she thought of an answer. "Common law." She replied after a few seconds.

"Nope. Try again." Emily urged with a grin.

"Constitutional?" Paige guessed.

Emily shook her head. "Last chance." She told the girl.

"Statutory!" Paige declared jubilantly when she finally remembered the term.

"Correct." Emily said, raising her hand and waiting for the girl to give her a high five.

"I guess I need to study more." Paige commented after returning Emily's high five reluctantly. She tried to reach for her notes, but the girl moved her arm away.

"Not so fast. Next question. Which of the following statements is true? A, society changes most of the time. B, power must have limit on it. Or C, constitutional law is extremely vague." Emily recited.

"B. Power must... I mean A. Society changes most of the time." Paige corrected at the last second.

Emily's brows creased. "Nope. Try again." She told the girl, a tad suspicious.

"C? Constitutional law is extremely vague." Paige answered this time.

"No. It's B. You got it right the first time. Power must have limit on it." Emily revealed. "Why did you change your mind?"

Paige shrugged. "I guess I got the statements wrong." She replied. "I really need to study by myself. It's obvious I need more time to review." Paige added as she extended her good arm to get her notes from the girl.

Emily was about to tell Paige she knew the girl was lying but they were interrupted by a knock on the door which made them look toward it.

"An eyeglasses, a pair of three-inch heels, and a tight pencil skirt and you, Miss Fields, are going to fulfill my fantasy of a strict but really hot teacher." Jai said in greeting as she walked toward her girlfriend and gave Emily a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Funny. I didn't know you have a thing for strict, hot teachers." Emily quipped, her cheeks growing warm when she felt Paige's eyes on them. "How did it go with Logan?" She asked to change the subject.

Jai shook her head. "The answer's still no. I actually came here to pick you up." She told the girl apologetically. "Hey." Jai uttered, finally greeting her friend. "How are you feeling?"

"Still a little sore. But better." Paige replied. "I, uh, heard you came by a few days ago."

"Yeah. My dad called me. I came as soon as I heard." Jai admitted. "Sorry I haven't been here since."

"No big deal." Paige said, waving her good arm dismissively. "Knowing you, you probably had far better things to do than babysit me."

"Something like that." Jai replied.

Silence.

"Aren't you supposed to be taking it easy?" Jai asked lightly when she noticed the clutter on the girl's bed.

"Yeah… but I'm bored and I have exams next week. I promise I'm taking it easy. I just study for a couple of hours, three at most." Paige reassured her friend.

"I guess we better let you get back to studying, then. Come on, Em. Dad's waiting for us." Jai said before reaching for her girlfriend's hand. "Feel better." She told her friend.

Paige nodded. "I will. You two have a good night." She added, forcing a smile on her lips.

"Here you go." Emily said, returning the girl's notes. "Maybe I can come back and help you study tomorrow."

"Thanks for the offer but I'm fine studying with no incentives." Paige replied without meeting the girl's eyes.

Something clicked at the back of Emily's mind and she realized why Paige behaved earlier the way she did. Not knowing what to say or how to react, she wordlessly let Jai lead the way out of the room as she recalled a memory.

"But I thought you're going to help me study?" Paige asked, confused.

"I am. I just think it'd be fun if we add a little incentive." Emily said mischievously. "How about this? You get three chances to answer a question. If you get it right the first time, I'll kiss you." She explained matter-of-factly.

Paige slowly grinned. "I like the sound of that. If I get it right the second try?" She asked.

"You get to kiss me." Emily revealed.

Paige nodded thoughtfully. "Not bad. And the third try?" She continued.

"I'll give you a high five." Emily answered with a straight face.

"Like buddies?" Paige reluctantly asked, raising one hand to try it out.

Emily raised hers and quickly slapped the girl's hand, proving her point. "Like buddies." She repeated.

Maybe it was insensitive of her to offer to help Paige study considering everything that's happened. But she didn't remember until now that if the girl gave the correct answer, then she would have owed Paige a kiss. Or maybe she did know. She just didn't want to admit it. In any case, Paige just spared them from an awkward situation. It was right of the girl to give all the wrong answers and settle for a high five instead. As Emily passed by the window of Paige's room, she risked one last glance at the girl inside and found Paige staring at her. Though caught off guard, Emily's gaze didn't waver and she felt disappointed when Paige was the one who looked away this time.

---

Spencer looked up from the book she was reading when she heard the door open and smiled when Emily came into view. "Hey." She uttered in greeting as she closed the book and placed it on the bed.

"Hey." Emily repeated, handing her friend a brown bag as she walked over to her side of the room. "I thought you said you were spending the night at Connor's?"

"I was going to but there's a party on their floor. I couldn't concentrate and I have a major exam tomorrow morning." Spencer explained with a sigh. "Thanks for buying me brain food. I thought you didn't get my text."

"My phone died before I could send a reply." Emily said, showing the girl her phone before charging it. "Nuts and dark chocolate. Just like you asked."

"Thanks. Is Jai on her way up? I can go to the library for a couple of hours if you two want some privacy." Spencer offered as she opened a pack of nuts.

"No need. She just dropped me off." Emily reassured her friend.

"How was dinner with her dad?" Spencer asked as she began to pop nuts in her mouth.

"Tense." Emily replied. "Jai has been trying for weeks to beg off the birthday party Logan wants to throw for her in Rosewood but he wouldn't budge. Tonight we lucked out. Apparently the party wasn't just a birthday party but a way to launch the Gray Matter Foundation's newest venture and Jai's going to be the face of it. When she said no, he got stern and told Jai she has no choice."

"Wow. It's really hard to picture him cool and charming one second and stern and cold the next." Spencer said, shaking her head. "Kinda makes me wonder how he can be okay with both his daughters being into girls."

Emily shrugged. "Jai said Logan has a gay brother and that they're really close. I guess that helped." She explained before getting up to start changing out of her clothes.

"Well charming or cold, I think he's just using that party as an excuse to flaunt his daughter's relationship with you and how perfect Jai is. How does she feel about that?" Spencer asked, sitting up straight.

"She didn't say much during dinner but I can tell she's anything but happy about it. She just couldn't say no since Logan's under a lot of stress lately. At least that's what she told me on the drive home." Emily added. "It's useless to complain anyway. Logan always gets what he wants."

"So did you finally visit Paige?" Spencer suddenly asked. "You went with Jai to the hospital, right? Did you drop by Paige's room?"

"Yeah. I did." Emily replied, momentarily stopping from taking her top off when she recalled what happened at the hospital earlier.

"And? How did it go?" Spencer pressed.

Emily sighed. "As well as you could expect considering what happened. I couldn't tell her that I overheard her conversation with Reese and that's the reason why it took me a while to visit her." She admitted, returning to her bed.

"Em, she doesn't have to know that. Just apologize for throwing her out. And ruining her phone." Spencer added wryly.

"I know." Emily said, cringing at the memory. "I was so horrible to her that night, Spence. Did you tell Hanna and Aria?"

"About how horrible you were?" Spencer quipped.

"No. About me and Paige." Emily clarified, managing to laugh a little.

"Of course not. It's your secret to tell. It's better if they found out from you. Although I think Hanna is going to yell 'I knew it!' once you tell them. Remember when she suggested that Paige was the mystery girl?" Spencer reminded her friend. "So you're really staying with Jai? No more going back and forth?"

"I can't keep hurting them." Emily answered, resigned.

Spencer got up and sat next to her friend. "It's going to be okay." She promised as she put an arm around her friend's shoulders consolingly.

"I hope so." Emily uttered almost to herself.

---

Paige's brows creased as she highlighted another sentence in the book she was reading, intent on trying to absorb and understand the words as she read them again. It's been three days since she got out of the hospital and while she had to miss most of her classes, she's been able to catch up even in the confines of her bedroom thanks to Reese and, surprisingly, Ria. The girl was in the kitchen right now preparing their dinner and while Ria was no Kayla or Jai when it comes to cooking, Paige was grateful that her friend took the time to come over and take care of her. She didn't want to depend too much on Reese. The girl was set to graduate this semester. She's sure her friend has a lot on her plate.

Before turning the page to start reading the next paragraph, Paige made the mistake of capping the highlighter she was using with her bad arm so she missed when she felt a sudden pain. She dropped the marker she was holding and it bounced off the bed and slid on the floor near the door, out of arms' reach.

"Great." Paige muttered under her breath. She was about to get up to retrieve the highlighter when Ria knocked on the door. Good timing. She thought, exhaling in relief. "Come in!" Paige called out. "And hand me that marker while you're at it."

"Ria let me in." Emily explained when she saw the surprise in Paige's face when she opened the door. She looked down and saw the highlighter the girl was referring to, so she picked it up before walking over. "Here."

"Thanks." Paige uttered, taking the marker while being careful not to make contact with the girl's fingers. "Sorry. I thought you were Ria."

"It's fine." Emily said with a firm shake of her head. "Jai told me you got out of the hospital a few days ago and I just wanted to check up on you."

"I'm doing better. And my arm's starting to heal." Paige added, gesturing to the sling.

"That's really good to hear. You'll be up in no time. Do you need anything?" Emily asked while looking around the room.

"Thanks, but Ria has it covered." Paige told the girl.

"Right." Emily uttered, not knowing what to say next. She knew Paige was expecting her to say something else but she didn't know where to start so she just blurted it out. "I never apologized for what happened that day. I'm sorry I threw you out. I was just upset and embarrassed. It's not an excuse. I'm just telling you why I did it."

"Apology accepted. But what happened to me wasn't your fault. I'm just putting it out there in case you were feeling guilty." Paige added. "And I didn't mean to reject you that night. You know how much I want you. I just... it wasn't right. You were upset and I knew you were going to regret it if we sleep together."

"I knew what I was doing. What I wanted." Emily argued.

Paige let out a wry laugh. "You don't know what you want." She told the girl.

"That's not true." Emily said defensively.

"Isn't it?" Paige asked. "It wasn't too long ago that you yelled at me because you said I made you a cheater, remember? I don't want to make you feel that way again. Besides, you're with Jai. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I broke her trust. And I think she's going to kill me for real if I sleep with you again."

"She already knows that something happened between us." Emily confessed. "She figured it out when I said I wasn't ready with her."

"That's why she was so angry when she found out I slept with Kayla." Paige said, realization dawning on her. "And you were never going to tell her, were you? Too bad she figured it out."

"I don't think she needed to know." Emily replied. "What happened was just between us. I'll only end up hurting her if she finds out. Which she did."

Paige scoffed. "See, that's the part I have a problem with. You don't want to hurt her. But you have no problem hurting me." She said, her tone angry. "You say you felt ready to be intimate with me but your actions speak otherwise. If my sleeping with Kayla upsets you so much why do you refuse to break up with Jai?"

"Because I'm scared of being with you!" Emily blurted out.

"Why? I told you I'm in love with you. That I'm serious about you and that I'm not going anywhere. What else do you want me to say? I can't be Jai." Paige said, frustrated. "If you want me to be someone who has everything figured out I can't be her. I like being impulsive. I act before I think."

"That's what terrifies me." Emily admitted.

"You can't always be safe. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith for a chance at something great." Paige told the girl emotionally. "But all of this doesn't matter. No matter how many times I tell you that I really want to be with you... that I want to walk you to class. Hold your hand in public while carrying your things. That I want to open doors for you, kiss you hello and goodbye. That I want to laugh and argue about trivial things like Chinese or Mexican takeout for dinner. Fight with you for the remote control. That I want to tell you how beautiful you look every chance I get. Talk to you until we fall asleep. That I want to be your girlfriend and not just spend time with you behind closed doors and secluded places. And that I want to be able to look at you from across the room and proudly point you out to anyone who would listen and say, 'See her? She's with me.' None of those matter. Because I can't make that decision for you. I can't force you to break up with Jai. You're the one who has to decide."

Emily shook her head firmly. "I—"

"You want me to tell you what to do. I'm sorry but I can't help you." Paige said as she struggled to move into a more comfortable position.

Emily rushed forward to help the girl. "Take it easy." She cautioned, touching Paige's uninjured arm lightly.

"Don't. It just hurts." Paige told the girl and flinched at the warmth of Emily's palm against her skin.

Emily frowned and released her hold on the girl. "Sorry." She uttered while thinking of a solution. "Well maybe... here, let me get that pillow so you can lean your back instead—"

"No. I meant being this near to you... hurts too much." Paige confessed.

"Oh." Emily uttered, the pain she heard in the girl's voice rendering her speechless.

"I need you to promise me something." Emily whispered in Paige's ear.

"What is it?" Paige asked, getting worried.

"I need you to promise me... that if it hurts too much... promise me you'd walk away and let me go." Emily pleaded, tears falling from her eyes again.

Paige held the girl closer to her when she felt Emily's warm tears on her neck. "Okay." She answered, holding Emily as the girl cried. "But just so you know... you're not gonna get rid of me that easily."

"Oh." Emily repeated, realization dawning on her.

"It's okay… right? If I let you go? You're really not coming back to me?" Paige asked with bated breath.

"It's not like you need my permission." Emily replied, trying hard to keep her voice from wavering. "You should've done that when I chose Jai."

"Yeah. I guess I just didn't want to accept that this is how our story ends." Paige said with a sad smile.

Emily studied the girl seated on the bed, a wave of guilt hitting her. Paige was starting to get better but she will never forget the image of the girl when she first saw her in that hospital bed. She's done enough damage. "Okay. Well... I think it's best if I go." Emily finally said then gestured behind her. "I'll let myself out."

Paige watched as the girl hurriedly left the room, a small part of her relieved that she finally had the strength to let Emily go. She knew it was going to take some time before she could actually say that she's completely over the girl but telling Emily she was giving up was a start. Reese was right. She's been given a second chance at life. She wasn't going to spend it pining after Emily Fields.

---

"Is my cooking really that bad?" Ria quipped when she noticed Paige moving her pasta around the plate. "I swear I followed every instruction in the cookbook this time."

"No, it's good. I'm just not that hungry." Paige replied but didn't even bother looking up at her friend.

Ria sighed. "Come on. You've got to eat something." She urged. "You said you were hungry that's why I cooked for three people." She reminded the girl.

"Well I lost my appetite." Paige said, finally pushing the plate away. "I'm fine." She hurriedly added when she realized what those words could mean and true enough, Ria looked worried when she met her friend's gaze. "I'm fine." She repeated.

Ria continued eating her dinner in silence and for a few minutes, all that could be heard in the apartment is the sound of her utensils touching the plate. "Oh, hey. So, I talked to Jai earlier." She finally said. "She told me about the party Logan's throwing for her in Rosewood for her birthday." Ria continued before taking a sip of water. "Want to come as my date?"

Paige frowned. "No." She answered curtly which made the girl stick out her tongue at her.

"Why not?" Ria asked as she twirled some noodles on her fork. "It could be fun."

"I doubt it. I just don't want to come as your plus one." Paige explained. "We can go as friends."

"But together. So, let's just make a date out of it." Ria suggested, making Paige frown again. "I'm kidding. I'm just messing with you." She promised. "But joking aside, I'm glad you're going."

"Why would you think otherwise?" Paige asked, tensing up.

Ria lowered her fork on the plate and gave the girl a look. "Come on. Do you really expect me not to know? The reason came and left an hour ago." She told Paige wryly. "I'm not stupid and oblivious. I've noticed how you two behave around each other."

"I don't want to talk about it." Paige said, looking away.

Ria tried to make the girl meet her eyes. "It could help lessen the pain if you did." She told her friend gently.

"Stop pretending you don't know what's going on." Paige replied, her tone bitter.

"I'm not gonna lie. From Jai's side of things, yeah. I do know. But I'm your friend, too. I'm not taking sides here." Ria reassured the girl.

"You're free to take her side. Mine doesn't matter anyway." Paige answered with a shrug.

"Of course it matters. I refuse to take sides." Ria insisted before getting up and walking over to the girl. "Come on, Lazlo. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours." She pleaded, touching Paige's hair.

Paige gently moved Ria's hand away and got up. "Thanks but there's nothing to talk about. It's over. I gave up." She said dejectedly. "I'm gonna go lie down. Sorry I wasn't better company."

"It's okay. You go ahead. I'll clean this up." Ria offered, gesturing to the dining table. "I'm sorry you're hurting. I wish I could do more." She said as she moved to hug the girl loosely. "I know it doesn't feel like it but it'll get better."

---

"Em, are you sure this is a birthday party?" Hanna asked as she stepped inside the Hayes' house on Saturday night with her three friends. "Because I barely see anyone here who's the same age as us. I don't think this is even a party. Maybe we got the date wrong."

"We didn't. It's a birthday slash launch party." Emily reminded her friend but pulled down the hem of the dress she was wearing, feeling like they should've dressed a little less casual and a lot more semi-formal. She felt out of place. "I'm gonna go find Jai. I'll catch up with you later." She told her friends before leaving.

Emily carefully navigated the crowd and made sure to smile every now and then at some of the guests she runs into. She exhaled in relief when she finally spotted Jai, donned in a blue sleeveless dress that matched her eyes, standing in one corner of the room. Emily began to make her way toward the girl but stopped when she realized that Jai was talking to someone. That someone being Ria and it looked like they were arguing, not talking. Emily stood in the middle of the slightly crowded room while trying to decide if she should walk over to the two girls and interrupt or wait until they were done fighting.

"Ow!" Emily exclaimed when she felt someone step on her toe.

"Sorry!" Paige uttered, quickly turning around. "Oh. Hey." She said in greeting when she realized it was Emily.

Emily took in the way Paige's romantic lace white dress with cap sleeves hugged the girl's well-toned body and she felt her breath quicken. "Watch where you're going." She finally managed to say.

"Hey you're the one standing there like a statue." Paige pointed out. "I was trying to avoid one of the waiters who was carrying a tray of hors d'oeuvres. What's your excuse?"

"I didn't mean for it to sound like that." Emily said apologetically. "How's the arm?"

"Better. The doctor said it could heal in about one to two weeks." Paige revealed. "I can't wait to take this sling off. I'm itching to start training again."

"Well that's good news but you need to take it easy." Emily reminded the girl.

"I will. I just need to get back to training." Paige repeated. "What about you? How have you been?"

"Okay. Really busy but okay." Emily lied. The truth was she's been trying to keep herself busy with MUSE, swimming, school, and work. She's also spending a lot of time with her friends and Jai just to keep her mind off the girl.

Paige nodded. "Well if you're looking for Jai she's right over there." She said after a moment of heavy silence passed. "Unless that gift is for someone else." Paige added, gesturing to the small box the girl was holding.

Emily pretended not knowing where Jai was to have an excuse to look away. She glanced behind her at the spot where Ria and her girlfriend were still arguing before turning to face Paige again. "It's for her. Thanks." Emily uttered with a small smile.

"No problem. Enjoy yourself. And watch where you're standing." Paige added before walking away.

Emily followed Paige's progress across the room until the girl disappeared amidst the crowd. She brought her attention back to Jai and saw that the girl and Ria were still arguing so she decided to go look for her friends instead. Jai's birthday gift can wait.

---

Sanctuary. Kayla thought the second her feet touched the second floor landing of their house. She was glad her father kept the upstairs area of the house closed off for the party. She was tired of making small conversations with the guests and her face was growing numb from having to smile all the time. She needed to take a breather and normally she would head for the garden but since only the second floor was off limits tonight, she had no choice but to go upstairs. And she knew just the spot where she could hide out for a few minutes without being seen.

"You, too, huh?" Kayla almost jumped in surprise when she heard Emily's voice from inside the room. She let her eyes adjust to the darkness and finally made her way inside the study, standing near the window next to the girl.

"I needed a break from all the socializing." Kayla admitted. "What's your excuse?"

"I can't find my friends." Emily replied, her eyes glued to the crowded lawn below.

"I saw Aria on my way here talking to one of the guests. She seemed fascinated." Kayla added with a laugh.

"Yeah. I didn't want to interrupt them." Emily admitted. "That's some crowd down there." She commented absentmindedly.

"I know. I forgot how popular Jai is." Kayla said wryly. "I know this isn't just about her twentieth birthday but tonight is still about her. Not that I'm complaining. I don't want to be the face of the foundation's new neuro hospital."

"I don't think she does either. She just doesn't have a choice." Emily replied, still staring outside the window.

Kayla frowned. "Yes she does. She's just scared of saying no to dad." She corrected. "And she's going to end up miserable if she keeps doing what dad wants. If that's how she feels then you should talk to her."

Emily let out a wry laugh. "Why? 'Cos I'm her girlfriend?" She asked, her tone almost bitter.

"Last time I checked, yeah. You are." Kayla answered while studying the girl closely. "Is there something I should know?"

"It's like nothing's changed." Emily said in reply. "It's like she didn't die. Like we didn't think she died. Everyone still loves her." She continued, her gaze still on the crowd below.

"Well it's kinda hard not to love my sister." Kayla admitted. "A lot of people mourned when they thought she perished on that crash. Those same people are here tonight. Hanging on to her every word."

"And they still see us as this perfect match, don't they?" Emily asked, glancing at the girl.

Kayla nodded. "You could say that. I think they couldn't be happier for the both of you. I mean, she did miraculously survive and you're here by her side. The story of your love is one for the books." She told Emily matter-of-factly. "Lovers reuniting despite being separated for so long. The heroine holding out hope that her lover survived and is still out there. Waiting patiently for her lover to return. And when she finally did everyone rejoiced. It's a good story. If only it were true."

"What do you mean? I did wait for Jai." Emily reminded the girl.

"Yeah and I know how much faith and hope you had that my sister was still alive." Kayla reassured her. "I also know Paige was in the picture. But because you kept what you had with her a secret from everyone else, you have the admiration of these people for holding out hope that Jai is still alive and that she'd return to you one day."

Emily averted her eyes from the girl and returned her gaze to the guests mingling below them, her eyes immediately finding Paige in the sea of people again. She's been watching the girl ever since Paige came into view and she hoped Kayla wouldn't notice. "It's easier. Being with Jai. It's familiar." She began, her eyes still glued to the girl. "Everybody loves Jai. Everybody loves her for me."

"But you don't love her anymore. Not the way you used to." Kayla guessed. "You weren't the grieving widow and I'm not saying you should've been. Because like you I mourned her too when I thought she died. And I was there when you finally noticed Paige. I'm happy you found love again. And that it's with her."

Emily looked at Kayla, about to protest but her throat constricted and her vision blurred.

"I know you're scared. And that you feel it's wrong." Kayla continued quietly. "But you can't keep hiding how you really feel just because being with my sister is easier or familiar or that you owe it to these people to be with her. You don't. You can't be miserable just to keep up appearances."

Emily wiped her eyes and struggled to speak. "I can't be friends with her anymore. I thought if I tried spending time with her doing nothing… just being around each other… my feelings will change. But it won't go away." She finally confessed.

Kayla sighed. "Em—"

"It sounds nice, Kayla. It really does." Emily said with a sad smile. "When you talk about not letting other people dictate who I should be with. But it's a lot complicated than that. Because I still love Jai. I realized that when she came back. I still love her and I'm not ready to say goodbye to her. To the years we spent together. But at the same time..."

"Paige." Kayla supplied.

"Everything was so easy when we were in high school. When she and I constantly bickered. When she pretended to hate me so I wouldn't know how she really felt about me. When she drove me crazy. But now everything is so messed up. It shouldn't be this complicated. How did I end up becoming the girl who has to choose? Who has to break hearts just to be happy?" Emily asked, choking back a sob. "I can't feel this way about Jai's best friend." She said as tears fell from her eyes. "Tell me what to do. I don't want to feel this way."

Kayla moved to hug the girl. "I know you're scared to make a decision. I know you don't want to break hearts and the last thing you want is to come between two friends." She said gently. "But love isn't for the faint of heart. You can walk away. Choose neither. Find someone else. But something tells me your heart already knows it's one of them."

---

You should've known better. Paige reprimanded herself as she rounded a corner and made her way down the street toward her house. For a second back there her instinct to comfort Emily took over that she forgot her place in the girl's life. And the fact that she gave up on them for everyone's sake. Especially hers.

Even from a distance Paige knew Emily was crying. She didn't know how long the two girls had been standing in front of the full length window of Logan's study. Or if anyone else could see them. The only reason she did was because she thought she heard someone call out her name by the door leading to the kitchen so she craned her neck up and noticed the two girls talking instead. She looked away before Emily could notice her looking at them but when the girl turned her back to the window, Paige didn't bother to hide the fact that she was watching. And when she saw Emily's body begin to tremble, she just knew the girl was crying.

Wanting to comfort Emily, Paige started to make her way back inside the house. In a hurry but maintaining composure as she excused herself and weaved her way in and out of the crowd. She glanced up just once to check if Emily was still there but the sight she witnessed made her stop in her tracks.

Emily was still standing by the window. But Kayla was gone. In her place, holding Emily close, was Jai. Her best friend was comforting her weeping girlfriend and she had every right to do so.

That's right. I almost forgot. I'm not her girlfriend. Paige thought, mentally kicking herself for forgetting her place again.

Her best friend had everything under control. So with one last look at the couple, Paige decided to leave the party and call it a night.

Now here she was, walking home by herself. Ria was supposed to be her ride to and from the party but she didn't want to stay one minute longer so she just left, thinking she'll just call the girl once she got home since she left her phone in her room.

"Hey." Paige stopped in her tracks when she saw Ria sitting on the porch steps of her house.

"Hey." Paige repeated without bothering to hide her surprise. "What… how... I mean, what are you doing here?" She asked, looking down the street and seeing Ria's brother's car for the first time. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't notice the car parked right in front of her house.

"I was hoping I could spend the night here again. I don't know anyone in this town and it's too late to drive back to Philly." Ria explained. "I was calling out to you earlier to tell you I was leaving but you didn't seem to hear me."

"So you just left without me?!" Paige asked, annoyed.

"Hey, you left without me, too!" Ria pointed out. "And you weren't answering your phone."

"I left it in my room but I was going to call you when I get home!" Paige replied. "I'm injured and you just left me!"

"You were perfectly safe at that party! You could've asked Jai or Kayla to give you a ride home!" Ria argued.

"Well you could've spent the night at Jai's instead of driving all the way here." Paige reminded the girl.

"Yeah. That's not gonna happen. We got into a fight. That's why I left." Ria admitted.

"Well she's too busy comforting Emily to drive me home. That's why I walked." Paige confessed. "What did you two fight about?"

Ria got up and brushed the back of the dress she was wearing. "I don't want to talk about it." She said, not meeting the girl's eyes.

"There's a leftover chocolate cake in the fridge. Want to drown our sorrows over that?" Paige offered.

Ria took Paige's clutch bag and looked for the house keys. "That sounds perfect." She replied, opening the door for them and following the girl to the kitchen.

Paige took out the slice of cake from the fridge while Ria got two forks, handing one to the girl before taking a seat next to her. They took turns eating the cake in silence, letting the moist, dense, and sweet dessert comfort them.

"You left because you saw Jai with Emily, didn't you?" Ria finally asked.

Paige nodded as she chewed. "It's hard to see someone you love in the arms of someone else. I think that's a quote or a song." She said, slicing another piece of the cake with her fork.

"At least you had your shot with her. I actually admire your bravery." Ria admitted. "You know me. I'm a daredevil. But when it comes to matters of the heart I'm a coward. I've been in love with this girl for more than a year now and I haven't done anything about it."

"Why not?" Paige asked, looking at her friend curiously.

"Common reason. She's in love with someone else so I don't have a clean shot. I could play dirty but I'm not that kind of girl." Ria added with a sigh.

"Well it's her loss. Despite what happened between us I'm not gonna lie. You're a great catch." Paige reassured her friend. "Want me to call her and rally your cause?" She offered with a smile.

Ria laughed. "Thanks but if she needs to hear from someone else how great a catch I am before she realizes it herself then she's not worth it." She answered matter-of-factly. "But I really hope she comes to her senses." Ria added with a groan. "I'm fine with us just being friends since I still get to spend time with her. I mean, when I was still in London we used to go hiking and camping every other weekend. We even went backpacking for a year before I moved back here. And it was just the two of us the whole time. I was this close to stealing a kiss from her." She confessed, touching her thumb and pointer finger together. "I was just too chicken to do it."

"And you're a decent person." Paige reminded her friend.

"That too." Ria agreed dejectedly. "It sucks to be nice sometimes."

"Now I'm really curious. Who's this girl? Do you have a photo?" Paige asked, trying to reach for Ria's phone which was on the countertop, but the girl snatched it away. "Come on! I'm tired of thinking about Emily. Your mystery girl will keep my mind off her. What's her name?"

Ria sighed. "Fine. Her name's Stef Grant." She revealed.

Paige stiffened when she heard the name. "Come again?" She asked, her pulse starting to race.

"Stef Grant?" Ria repeated. "It's short for Stefanie."

There was no mistaking it. She heard the girl right the first time. Paige slowly got up and gave Ria a cold stare. "I'll deal with you later." She said, her voice firm.

"What? What do you mean? Where are you going?!" Ria asked, getting up as well. "Paige!"

Paige didn't bother to answer. She knew exactly who Stef Grant is and it's time they met face to face again.

---

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jai asked as she took a seat on her bed next to Emily. She was on her way back downstairs after taking a quick breather in her bedroom earlier when she passed by her father's study and saw her sister comforting the girl. Without missing a beat, she stepped inside the dark room and wordlessly told Kayla she'll take it from there. Jai didn't ask what was wrong. She just let Emily cry and when the girl finally calmed down, she gently led the way back to her room. "Do you need anything?"

Emily shook her head. "I'm fine." She replied, wiping her eyes.

"Can you tell me why you were crying?" Jai asked as she handed the girl her handkerchief.

Emily kept silent and played with the hem of her skirt, unable to meet Jai's worried gaze. "I... lately I've been feeling conflicted." She finally confessed.

"About?" Jai gently urged.

"Us." Emily continued, looking at the girl. "Ever since you came back we've been trying to make it work. We missed a lot in each other's lives—"

"And I built that makeshift time machine to make up for it." Jai reminded her girlfriend.

"Do you really think we can make up for lost time with just that?" Emily asked sadly. "It was sweet, Jai. The gesture was sweet. But we can't pretend everything that happened the past year didn't or that you didn't miss most of it."

"I don't know what to do anymore, Em. I thought we're both trying to fix things?" Jai asked, confused.

"I think that's the problem. We're trying to fix something that wasn't even broken." Emily explained.

"Ever since I came back you've been pulling away from me and you're still hung up on Paige. Don't think I don't notice." Jai added before the girl could deny it. "How can you tell me there's nothing wrong? That there's nothing to fix?"

"Because our relationship wasn't broken. We've just become different people in the time that we were apart. We both changed and our relationship couldn't survive it." Emily told the girl sadly. "Those moments you chose to go back to… those were great moments. But the ones that really mattered were the small things. The days that passed when you weren't around."

"Well I can't bring those back." Jai said, frustrated. "What do you want me to do? You want to move forward but you can't seem to get over the fact that I missed out on a lot of things."

"I'm not asking you to do anything. We just have to accept the reality that we lost those moments." Emily answered as a tear rolled down her cheek when she realized what was coming.

"So... what are you trying to say?" Jai asked, her voice hoarse.

"It doesn't mean you're a coward for choosing to stay. I would too if I had your life. One would be crazy to want to wake up. You have everything you want here. Happy family, fiercely loyal friends, stable and loving relationship with someone who's got everything figured out. I understand why you'd want to stay. It doesn't make you a coward. And I think one day you'll find the courage to take that red pill..."

When it truly matters… you'd take that leap of faith. It took her this long. But tonight Emily finally understood the words Paige said to her that day. Maybe she can be brave after all.

"We need to break up." Emily said tearfully. Her vision blurred and she saw the hurt and disbelief in Jai's eyes but she needed to say it out loud. "I'm in love with Paige."

---

Paige purposefully walked up the steps of the now darkened house, rang the doorbell, then pounded on the door several times when she found it locked. It was a good thing there seemed to be no one left when she got there. She was fuming mad but she didn't want to cause a scene. The walk from her house didn't lessen her anger. It gave her more time to figure out everything and now she was itching to prove that her theories were correct.

"What the heck is going on?" Jai asked when she opened the door, her expression turning sour when she saw who it was. "Now isn't a good time, Paige. Come back tomorrow morning."

Paige used her uninjured arm to stop the girl from closing the door on her then used her body to push her way in. "No. We need to talk." She demanded.

"What the hell?!" Jai exclaimed, getting angry at the sight of the girl who was the reason for her breakup with Emily tonight. "What do you want?!"

Paige pushed Jai against the wall and held the girl by the neck with her good arm. Her body was in pain from having to exert force to keep Jai pinned but she ignored it. "Was there any truth to the things you said since you came back?" She asked in a low voice.

"What the hell? Let me go! You're hurting me!" Jai yelled, trying to fight off Paige but the girl wouldn't budge.

"Tell me you didn't risk your relationship with Emily to play house with Ria for a year." Paige continued accusingly while barely controlling her anger. "You've been lying to everyone all this time. Because you were never in a coma. You were never even in that plane, were you? Stef."

Jai's eyes widened in fear and she opened her mouth to try to explain herself just as a pair of headlights flashed across the window, blinding them both momentarily.

---

Present Day

Paige rapidly blinked when a bright light caught her eye, making her look toward the source. She saw two kids playing with a flashlight not far from where she and Jai stood and she watched as an older woman reprimanded them before returning her attention to her friend.

"I guess this is it." Jai said with a smile. "Goodluck. And to you as well." She added when Reese came up to them. "Please look after Paige."

"Don't worry. I'll be watching this one like a hawk twenty-four seven." Reese promised. "And that starts now. We're boarding." She told Paige as she handed the girl her carry-on.

"We better go then. We'll see you in three months." Jai said just as Kayla came over to give Reese then Paige a last hug before leaving.

"This is it." Reese told her friend before handing her boarding pass to the airline personnel with a huge grin.

Paige followed suit but gave the man just a small smile before boarding the plane as well. Once they reached their assigned seats, Paige slid to the seat by the window while Reese placed her bag in the overhead bin before sitting next to the girl.

"Just wait. I have a feeling this is going to be an awesome three months." Reese declared before looking around her at all the other passengers.

Paige didn't say anything and instead just stared outside the window. "See you soon." She muttered under her breath as she absentmindedly played with the new sports watch she was wearing.