A big special thank you to the freak circle, and my beta EmeraldJewelSparkle, check out her work!

I know i didn't respond to all the reviews, and i apologize! Went back to work last week after being on vacation and of course walked into a pile of shit to fix! Plus i'm writing a few chapters ahead and have a lot i'm trying to figure out and keep track of and leave tidbits for what is to come while still pulling stuff in from the past. I have a head ache just trying to list it all. And of course you gotta throw a house guest from out of town into the mix to make it all easier on me...

And now to first off answer the most asked question in reviews: Who did Casper call? Read On!

Disclaimer: I do not have the rights to SOA and make no profit off my writing. Anything you don't recognize from the show I have created.

Content Warning: This fanfiction is rated M. Please respect that warning and do not read this if you do not want to read M rated material.

2022

Age 30

"Casper?" Shark sat up in bed immediately at the tone of his best friend's voice.

"I need you. At the house. Right now."

"I'm there." Shark promised him and turned off the phone. He jumped out of bed and started throwing his clothes back on.

"We weren't finished." Kaye got out of bed coyly and ran a hand down Shark's chest. "I haven't gotten mine."

"Sorry darling, fun's over." He grabbed her hand and shoved it off of him, leaving the dorm with his shirt and cut in his hands.

He put his shirt on as he made his way through the clubhouse and shrugged his cut on as he charged through the lot. He heard someone, Frankie maybe, calling his name but he ignored it, mounted his bike and peeled out of the lot.

The garage door was open when Shark pulled in the driveway. Casper was perched sideways on his bike, one hand clutching his cellphone. His face was buried in the other. Shark parked and jumped off his bike, running to the garage.

"Casper?" Shark grabbed the handle of Casper's bike with one hand and pulled his hand away from his face with the other. "Casper?" He said more forcefully and grabbed Casper's hair tugging his head up to meet his eyes.

"She left. She's not here. She left. She…fuck, Shark."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He backed up a step and looked over Casper. Realization hit him, "Gabby left?"

"She has my gun, I gotta find her. I…I need you to watch the kids while I look for her."

Shark looked around the garage. "Casper, she didn't take her car. She probably just went for a walk."

"She's not answering her phone."

"Well…she's pissed. She left. She's not gonna answer you." He pulled out his own phone and scrolled down to Gabby's number. He put it on speaker and held it out for Casper but it just kept ringing. Voicemail picked up and Shark moved the phone back to himself.

"Gab's call me. It's ah, about the house and the kid, want to get them some stuff. Clothes maybe, or toys, need some details on the kid. Before tomorrow." He pressed end and shrugged at Casper's exasperated look.

"You need to calm down."

"I need to go find her!"

"She's on foot Casper. She's not leaving you. She just needs to blow off some steam."

"She took my gun!" His voice cracked on the last word and he jumped up from the bike.

"Good. She's walking around Fresno. She's pissed, but she had the presence of mind to not go out unarmed."

"No, no no no, Shark…Jesus, I…"

"Casper, Gabby's not gonna do anything stupid. She's not like that. She wouldn't do…that…"

"Yes she would."

"No she wouldn't Casper, come inside with me. Tell me what happened." Shark said slowly, trying to calm Casper down, reassure him that he wasn't alone.

"She would, she would Shark."

"Gabby's gonna off herself because she's pissed at you?"

"No, Gabby's gonna…off…herself because Jax sent pictures of her mother to Kristen and she was a hysterical wreck when I got home."

Shark paused in his walk to the door and turned around to Casper. "She freaked over the pictures?" He could just imagine it; there wasn't a single picture of Emily in the house. Even when the topic of Tig came up Emily wasn't mentioned unless necessary.

"Over the pictures, and me not telling her, and Tig, and the fucking tooth fairy, and all of us ganging up on her last night."

"Okay," Shark put his hands up and walked back to Casper. "Okay, she's upset. She's really upset. But you need to calm down. Gabby won't hurt herself. She's blowing off steam. She's not that kind of person. Not when she's angry, not when she's upset. She might lash out at others, but she would never hurt herself."

"She might."

"She won't."

"She nearly did already."

Tom Tom was pleasantly surprised at Suzie's level of concentration when it came time to help him. She held both her hands out flat and let Tom Tom fill them with screws. She knew her right from her left hand and would hold up whichever one he asked for as he needed a part.

He had to smile at just how excited she was to have a window that opened. Becky had him put the stoppers on the window so Suzie could only open it three inches without someone's help. At the moment it was open completely and Becky turned the fan on in the corner. The room needed a good airing out after years of being closed up.

Suzie had thanked him profusely and given him a tight hug when he had finished. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck, the only part of him her short arms could fit around, and held on tight till Tom Tom picked her up and hugged her back.

Tom Tom was waiting anxiously for Becky to praise him. He was also mad at himself for that fact, but he couldn't help it. Suzie seemed to be enjoying herself. Becky hadn't needed to step in and handle anything, and Tom Tom was getting a little more comfortable as the evening went on. Suzie really wasn't that hard to get along with. She was well behaved, and was used to being surrounded by adults. It was her excitement and affection that threw him off more than anything. But he was starting to find it rather cute.

"Thought maybe I'd take you two out for ice cream." He whispered to Becky as the two left Suzie in her room to color and sat on the couch.

"If we get ice cream we should take her to the park, let her run off the sugar." Becky informed him with a shrug.

"We could do that too. Got plenty of daylight left."

Becky eyed him suspiciously but smiled and stood up. She started to walk back to Suzie's room but stopped and walked back to him.

"You know, when I said what I did last night…I was half expecting not to see you again. How are you going from hating my kid to doting on her all of a sudden?"

"I never hated Suzie." He stood up and grabbed Becky's arms gently. "I just... kids aren't my thing. I don't know how to 'play' with them. And…I never had a reason to try till now."

"Kristen and Mathew?" Becky asked.

"I made it clear I wasn't gonna be the playful uncle. Casper understood. He never pushed the kids on me. I guess I just needed someone to give me a good reason." He bent his head and gave her a soft peck on the lips.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shark looked at Casper completely lost. He couldn't, he wouldn't believe Gabby had ever tried to kill herself.

Casper sat back down on his bike. He felt like his legs might give way at any moment.

"Casper, brother, you gotta talk to me."

He looked back up and ran a hand through his hair. Casper was the only person Gabby had ever told. Happy didn't know, hell, even Charlene didn't know. If he told Shark now she would never forgive him.

Shark was getting more and more impatient. "Okay, I'm calling Hap." Shark took out his phone and started scrolling through his contacts again.

"NO!" Casper leapt up and grabbed Shark's phone, tossing it on the seat of his bike. "Look, just, just please stay here while I go look for her."

"We can call the guys to look for her. You need to stay here in case she comes home. Or have you forgotten just how pissed at me she is right now? Hap might know where she would go."

"She has nowhere here she would go. If we were in Charming you'd be right. But she didn't grow up here. She doesn't have a place she goes when she's mad. She…she's never left before. Jesus Shark…I gotta find her…if she…"

"She won't." Shark interrupted him. "I'm gonna call…"

"NO! We can't call the others. I can't have the whole club looking for her. I need to be the one to find her."

"I don't care if she's gonna flip out on you for involving them. You're not giving me anything here Casper. She's pissed. You think she's capable of fucking shooting herself. You're telling me she's tried before. NO Casper. I don't believe that. Gabby WOULDN'T do that. No matter how angry or upset she is. She won't do that. Not to herself, not to the kids, not to you."

Casper ran both hands through his hair and looked around the garage. He pulled his phone out and dialed her number again, hanging up when it reached voicemail.

"Let's go inside, have a beer. Tell me why she left. We can figure out together where she might have gone." Shark offered.

"I don't want the kids to hear. I don't want them to worry." Casper ran a hand down his face again. He was an utter wreck.

Shark nodded his head. "Brother, if she's mad, needs to blow off steam, we should just wait here and stop calling her. If you really think she's gonna hurt herself I'm gonna call the club to hunt her down." He pulled his phone off Casper's bike to back up his threat. "Start talking."

Tom Tom Becky and Suzie walked down the staircase towards the parking lot. "I brought the truck." Tom Tom nodded his head towards it.

"There's no backseat." Becky reminded him.

"Front seat fits three." Tom Tom shrugged his shoulders.

"Suzie has to ride in the back; she still has a booster seat." Tom Tom dropped his gaze to the ground and held in an eye roll. Why the hell did safety laws have to be so strict? He thought better of suggesting they take the truck and screw the booster seat.

"Car's over here." Becky smiled at him, amused at his obvious annoyance.

"Guess I'm gonna need to start borrowing a cage." Tom Tom muttered as they changed direction.

"Or get one of your own." Becky chimed in and hit the unlock button so Suzie could let herself in and climb into her seat. She had herself buckled in by the time the adults got to the car.

Tom Tom held his hand out for the keys. "I'll drive." He tried to make it sound like he was doing her a favor.

"That's alright." Becky smiled, knowing he would hate being driven around by a woman, and climbed into the driver's seat as he opened the door for himself.

Tom Tom ground his teeth and shut the door before walking around to the passenger's side. "Definitely getting my own cage." He mumbled out loud before opening the other door and climbing in next to Becky.

"She was 16." Casper started, still hesitant. He had sunk down to the garage floor and was leaning against his cage. Shark grabbed a soccer ball to sit on and settled right in front of him.

"Her mom…well, you can imagine how she was treated on a daily basis. But I guess her mom said something along the lines of wishing Gabby had never been born. It sent her over the edge."

Shark had to bite his tongue to keep from interrupting. He knew Happy had gone nomad when Gabby was 16. He assumed that would have made things better for Gabby, not worse.

"She put herself into anaphylactic shock." Shark nodded his head, he knew about Gabby's food allergy, she had gotten the kids tested, they both had the same thing. Fresno clubhouse was seafood free. "Her throat swelled shut. She was clawing at it for air. Said it felt like choking, with the panic and not being able to scream, that it felt like hours, but it was just a few minutes. Getting just enough air that she wouldn't pass out, but not enough to stop her lungs from burning."

Shark ran a hand down his throat involuntarily. The picture Casper was painting was making him want to gag. He started taking slow deep breaths as he imagined not being able to get enough air.

"She gave in finally, couldn't take it anymore. Shot herself with an epi pen. It wasn't an 'I want to live' decision though. She just couldn't take it anymore. Decided to try a different way."

Shark couldn't meet Casper's eyes. His friend's voice was cracking as he told the story. Shark had never imagined Gabby had tried to kill herself. "Did she have another plan?" Shark whispered, feeling sick to his stomach.

Casper nodded his head. "She was waiting for her mom to score." He ran a hand over his face. "She was gonna OD."

"But she didn't, right?" Shark took a quick inhale of breath. "She didn't try again?"

"No." Casper shook his head and took a deep shaky breath in. "No, Happy showed up the next day. She was drunk, stoned, they fought, Happy freaked out on her. She never told him she tried…but he knew her head was…there…She never told him. To this day I don't think he knows. It would kill him to find out how close he was to losing her."

Shark couldn't believe what he was hearing. Couldn't believe the Gabby he knew today would ever try something like that. Or that she would have kept it a secret from Happy. They were so close now. How could Happy not know?

"Casper…Gabby…she was 16, depressed, alone. She wouldn't do that now. She's happy now, adjusted, she has you and the kids and Happy and this whole damn club." Shark assured his brother. But he certainly understood now why Casper was freaking out; Shark was trying not to freak out now too.

Becky drove to a park she knew of that always had an ice cream cart open this time of year. It was a ways from the apartment but that was good; they were in a better neighborhood.

Suzie took hold of both their hands as they walked through the parking lot. Becky could tell it took Tom Tom by surprise but he held on tight anyway.

"What can I get mommy?" Suzie asked, licking her lips at the pictures on the side of the cart as they waited in line.

"Anything you want, but just one thing." The cart only sold prepackaged bars of ice cream so there was no need to limit scoops or toppings.

"What do you want?" Tom Tom asked as the ice cream man handed Suzie her order. He rested his hand on the middle of her back as he spoke.

"I'm good." She smiled coyly as she dug in her purse for cash.

"I got it." He covered her hand with his free one before handing the man a few singles.

"Let's eat at the table Suzie." Becky pointed to a picnic table as Suzie carefully opened her ice cream.

"Thank you Tom Tom!" Suzie managed to get out before starting to lick the filling out of her ice cream sandwich.

"Yes, thanks Tom Tom." Becky smiled up at him, moving closer to him, as Suzie ran ahead to the table.

"You're welcome." He smiled back and ran his hand from her back to her shoulder. He took a quick scan of the park before sitting down with his girls. Yeah, definitely his girls he decided as he sat. He didn't have to get used to Suzie, he just had to give her a chance. There was no way he could not warm up to her instantly.

Becky laughed at Suzie's ice cream covered nose. Suzie licked more ice cream out of the middle of the sandwich and Tom Tom couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"You eating it wrong Suzie." He said in a teasing voice. "It's a sandwich, you bite it." He took a bite out of an imaginary sandwich.

"No! You have to lick all the ice cream out of the middle and then eat the chocolate bits." Suzie explained with a giggle.

"I've apparently been eating sandwiches wrong my entire life." He shook his head. "I'll have to try that tomorrow with my turkey and swiss."

The idea of that made Suzie giggle again as she finished the ice cream and started eating the chocolate. Tom Tom scanned the park again and Becky caught him this time. "Is everything okay?" She asked quietly, slightly alarmed.

"Yeah." He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Just habit."

Shark felt numb as he looked down at his best friend. He took a deep breath and pulled out his phone. "I'm gonna call Hap."

"No!" Casper scrambled up to his knees and grabbed the phone from Shark. "She'll kill me. I can't do that to her Shark."

"Casper… You either tell me that she is fine, and just blowing off steam, and we will sit here and wait for her; OR you tell me she might be suicidal and we need to find her. And if that's what you really think than I don't give a flying fuck how mad she gets when the whole fucking club goes looking for her."

Casper sat back down and took a deep breath. He needed to think everything through before he made the situation worse. He wanted to believe she was just blowing off steam. He did, in fact, believe she was just blowing off steam. But the one little fraction of his brain screaming at him about the gun wouldn't shut up. And if Gabby did in fact hurt herself…he would never forgive himself. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. But if she was just blowing off steam and the club went looking for her it would make everything so much worse.

Shark had no idea Gabby had ever been suicidal. He didn't know because Gabby wasn't that person anymore. She hadn't been that person in years. Since before she came to Fresno.

Gabby would never kill herself the way her mother had.

"We should wait here for her." Casper finally decided and spoke out loud.

"Okay, come on, let's go inside." Shark reached down and took Casper's hand firmly, pulling him off the floor.

Gabby had no idea where she was going when she left the house. She went the opposite way of the clubhouse and just kept walking. She couldn't sit in the garage and wait for Casper. She didn't want to talk. She couldn't put what she was feeling into words.

Walking at a steady pace in the heat did nothing to decrease her anger, but it did exhaust her enough to slow her down. She started looking at street signs and made a few turns. She had been heading into a bad area and though she'd had the forethought to grab Casper's gun she wasn't gonna purposely put herself in danger.

She headed instead toward Vivica. She didn't want to talk things out with the woman, and she was well aware Viv would attempt to pry, but she wouldn't call anyone. Gabby could stay there as long as she needed. Vivica was always good for seeking comfort from. She had been a pseudo mom to Gabby ever since she moved to Fresno.

It was a seven mile trip between Gabby's house and Vivica's; seven miles directly between the two houses. Gabby hadn't taken a direct route. By the time she got to the house she was exhausted and dripping in sweat. She started to walk up the driveway but stopped. The garage was open but Vivica's SUV wasn't there. There were however two cars Gabby didn't recognize in the driveway.

Not wanting to interrupt anything she felt her pockets for her phone, planning on texting Viv. It wasn't there. She sighed and thought back. She had put her phone in her shorts pocket after she changed out of her work clothes. It had buzzed while she was cooking. Gabby had ignored, not in a state to care, numbly going about her routine with the kids. Kristen had dug her phone out instead, told her it was a coupon, asked to go to said store, and had walked off pouting when Gabby said no. Possibly snapped no instead of said no. She cringed at her tone with her daughter. She would have to apologize.

Also however, she had never gotten her phone back. She had no idea what time it was without it, but she knew she had been gone over an hour, two maybe since she had walked so far. She knew she should head back. She knew Casper would be sick with worry. She backed out of the driveway and turned back the way she came.

She didn't really want to go home though. She didn't want to face what was there. She wasn't used to talking about things she didn't want to talk about. Her mother had never cared to speak of problems or fights. Happy would push for it and insist on it when he had any idea there was a problem, but he was never there. As long as she didn't open her mouth he usually had no idea.

She didn't like talking about her problems. As childish as avoidance was it seemed like the best option. She turned down the very next street and continued to walk.

Shark snuck quietly into the house and snagged two beers. He handed one to Casper and downed the other as fast as he could. He had seemingly convinced Casper that Gabby would be okay. His own confidence in that belief was dwindling. If anything happened to Gabby while they weren't looking for her, fuck. He'd eat his gun.

"Uncle Shark!" Kristen squealed when she saw him and ran into the kitchen. He picked her up immediately and kissed her cheek.

"Hay ya munchkin. You save me any dinner?" The thought of food entering his knotted up stomach made him gag. He had to set Kristen back on the floor and swallow down bile.

"There's leftovers, but daddy cooked." Shark couldn't help but laugh and Casper snapped out of his fog.

"Hey! Your mother made it, I just finished it." He walked further into the kitchen and opened his beer.

"It's crispy, and he didn't put cheese on top." Kristen whispered as Shark bent down to pick Mathew up.

"You didn't complain when you were eating it." Casper defending himself, although he knew he had been distracted while finishing the casserole Gabby had started. He had completely forgotten to set the oven timer.

"We didn't want to make you feel bad." Kristen shrugged speaking for her bother as well. Mathew sat happily on Shark's hip and Shark gave his head a kiss, resting his free hand on Kristen's head. This was why he loved kids so much. No matter how bad things got, kids were always good at bringing you back to mundane reality.

"Will you take us to the park Uncle Shark?" Kristen asked, wrapping herself around his side and looking up at him, daring him to turn her down.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and hugged her closer to his side. "Not today munchkin. I got my bike here."

Kristen's eyes grew wider and she put on her best smile. "Will you take me for a ride Uncle Shark, please!"

Shark opened and closed his mouth. He had taken her before. Technically she was allowed. But Gabby wasn't fond of it, which seemed hypocritical. Happy himself had pointed out Gabby was often on his bike at Kristen's age. But it didn't matter. Shark wasn't gonna do anything to knowingly upset Gabby anymore. Ever.

"Not tonight munchkin. How about you get a swimsuit on and I'll set up the sprinkler?" Shark offered instead. He wasn't leaving till Gabby came home. And Casper was in no state to entertain the kids.

"Okay!" Kristen let go of him and ran up to her room.

Casper cringed at the noise. "Should have gotten a ranch." He muttered while taking Mathew from Shark. "I'll get him changed. Thanks."

"Of course." Shark patted his back hard before stripping off his cut and shirt. "I'll get the water going."

Tom Tom stood back as Becky ran through the playground with Suzie. He had been cool with pushing the young girl on the swings but he was decidedly too big to follow her through the plastic castles or across the draw bridges. And he was extremely grateful for that fact.

He stepped up to hold onto Suzie's legs as she attempted the monkey bars. Becky jumped down to walk under the bars.

"Oh no you don't, back up." Tom Tom spotted her and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah mommy do the monkey bars!" Suzie jumped excitedly on the landing.

Tom Tom grinned and walked up to Becky. "I'll hold you up." He promised, getting as close as he could, pressing his chest against her perky tits. She grinned back and raised her eyebrows. He picked her up suddenly and she squealed. Suzie laughed and clapped her hands as Tom Tom hoisted Becky up to the bars.

"Fine fine!" Becky yelled and kicked her feet. "I don't need your help thank you very much!" Tom Tom laughed and let go as she did the monkey bars. Tom Tom felt eyes on him and looked over his shoulder, scanning the park once more as Becky finished the bars.

He spotted Gabby on the side walk and looked around for the rest of her family. He was disturbed to find her alone, especially so close after Chris' death.

"Tom Tom." Becky hopped down when she reached the end and looked at him. "You keep looking around, should we not be here?"

"No," Tom Tom turned around to face her. "No I just…I swear I just saw Gabby."

"Gabby comes to this park all the time, the kids love it." Becky assured him. "We should invite her over. Kids will play together, give us a chance to be alone." Tom Tom smiled at the idea and gave Becky a quick peck on the lips. He yearned to do more but hadn't had the chance since their first, mind blurring, kiss. He chastised himself to go slow. As much as he wanted Becky, she wasn't the type to just hop in bed with him. She would hate herself for it, and resent him.

He turned back around but Gabby seemed to be gone. He scanned the area he saw her in, the parking lot, the ice cream stand, he looked for her, listened for her kids, looked for a cut thinking Casper might be with her. He had lost her, and rather quickly. He didn't think twice at grabbing his cell phone and dialing her number. He knew he hadn't mistaken someone else for Gabby. He knew her hair alone without a doubt.

Casper had just succeeded in wresting Mathew into his swim trunks when he heard buzzing. He checked his own phone but it wasn't flashing. He leapt up and went into the adjoining bathroom, there was Gabby's phone, vibrating on the floor next to Kristen's stuffed bunny. Why either were on the bathroom floor was beyond him but he didn't care, he answered it without looking at the name.

"Yeah?" He said, praying to hear his wife's voice. On her own phone, he shook his head, he was losing his mind.

"Casper?" Tom Tom asked confused.

"Tom Tom?" Casper's heart dropped into his stomach and he snatched Mathew up and started carrying him back down the stairs.

"Hey…thought I called Gabby…"

"You did. Kids snagged her phone." Casper added, turning it on speaker as Shark walked up to him and snagged Mathew. Shark shook his head at Gabby's phone. Explained a lot.

"Oh, well, okay. You guys at the park?"

"No. Why? Wait, you're at a park?"

"Yeah, with Becky and Suzie. Gabby was here. I swear she was, but I guess not. Never mind."

"WAIT!" Casper and Shark both screamed into the phone. Shark put Mathew down and the boy attempted to clamor back up his leg.

"What park?"

"Did you talk to her?"

"When, now?"

"What park?" Casper and Shark yelled over each other into the phone.

Tom Tom pulled the phone away from his ear as they continued. He could make out both Casper and Shark, and he could here Mathew in the background. He quickly put two and two together.

"Guys, GUYS!" He yelled to shut them up. "She's at Figarden. She probably left when she saw me. Five minutes ago, tops."

"Fuck. Thanks." Casper blew out a breath. Shark stepped away, relief clear on his face, and picked Mathew back up.

"You want me to go after her?" Tom Tom offered, stepping away from Becky and lowering his voice.

"No…but umm, if you spot her again, let me know." Casper answered. He wanted to say yes, please, please go after her. But that would not end well.

"Alright." Tom Tom hung up and pocketed his phone. He turned back and walked over to Becky who was watching Suzie but obviously waiting for him.

"Had lunch with Gabby today. She was…containing her anger." Becky said off hand.

"Yeah…I think it may have bubbled over."

"How far away is that park?" Shark asked.

"A good 10 miles from here." Casper opened up an app on Gabby's phone and scrolled through a map of the area. "Opposite direction of the clubhouse. Closer to Chris…Viv's house." Casper corrected himself. "I should…"

"No." Shark preempted him. "She's good. She's walking it off. She walked away from Tom Tom, so she obviously isn't done yet. Just leave her be. Come out with me and the kids."

Casper nodded and went through Gabby's phone, he debated deleting all the missed calls but didn't. He did delete Tom Tom's call. Only so she wouldn't see he answered her phone. He tossed the phone on the kitchen counter and went out the back door. Kristen was already playing alone and had dragged the sprinkler up to the top of the slide. Smart girl. He grabbed the kiddie pool to collect water at the bottom and joined her.

Shark looked at Mathew and bounced him up and down a few times to make him smile. He was sweaty from the 5 minutes he spent outside getting the water on and the sprinkler set up. Gabby was 10 miles away. He set Mathew down and pulled out his phone.

Thanks for reading :D