Of course, as you are expecting, a big thank you to the freak circle and my beta EmeralJewelSparkle.

Cross your fingers that there will be an update next week. I've been super busy and these last few chapters have been much harder to write. I'm gonna try to keep updating every Wednesday, but I might end up skipping a week to catch myself up. I'll let you know on twitter if i post or plan not to post next Wednesday Kiara8921

Thanks for reading, enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I do not have the rights to SOA and make no profit off my writing. Anything you don't recognize from the show I have created.

Content Warning: This fanfiction is rated M. Please respect that warning and do not read this if you do not want to read M rated material.

2022

Age 30

Tom Tom walked back into the clubhouse and was surprised by the silence. Happy was on the couch with Carol, she looked to be giving him a rather thorough massage. Frankie was passed out in a corner, and Lenard was hunched over the bar, sipping whiskey and watching muted sports highlights.

"Hey." Lenard called and kicked out the stool next to him. Tom Tom took the invite and sat next to his president. "What you been up to?" Lenard asked as he poured Tom Tom a drink.

"I ah…I had a date."

"A date?" Lenard asked suspiciously but smiled after a moment and turned to face the younger man. "Becky?"

"Yeah."

"You serious about that?" Lenard asked. Tom Tom rolled his eyes. He'd been afraid of this. He didn't want the whole fucking club involving themselves in his relationship.

"Yeah Pres, I'm serious."

"Good man." Lenard patted him on the back. "Need to talk to you about something else. It's gonna sound like I'm meddling, but I'm not."

Tom Tom nodded. "Speak your mind."

"I need you to move out of the clubhouse for a while." He held a hand up to stop Tom Tom from interrupting. "Not permanently. And I'm not trying to force you and Becky to shack up. Just look around for a place. Keep it quiet. Let me know when you're ready to leave."

Tom Tom drank his whiskey and thought about what Lenard was saying. "You wanna kick Bull out of the clubhouse." He chuckled and turned back to Lenard. "You're gonna kick him out, no warning. Fuck him over."

"I'm gonna make him a little less comfortable. I just don't want to screw you over in the process."

"Alright, I'm in. Been thinking it's past time to get my own place anyhow." He threw back the last of his whiskey and got up. "Shouldn't take me long, anything's gonna look good next to a dorm."

"Take your time. Maybe look for a bigger place, room for a family." Tom Tom scowled and Lenard laughed. "What can I say? I have confidence you won't screw this thing up."

Casper engulfed Gabby in his arms the second he got within reach of her. His left hand tangled itself in her hair, his right went immediately for the gun tucked in the back of her shorts. He pulled it out and handed it to Vin. As soon as the cold metal was out of his hand he wrapped it back around his wife.

"Fuck Gabby." He whispered into her hair. "Jesus love I was so fucking worried."

Gabby didn't respond. She refused to say she was sorry for leaving.

"Please don't ever leave again. Please Gabby." He pulled her face off his chest and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "I don't care what you have to do. You yell, scream, throw shit, fucking hit me if you need to. But please please don't ever leave like that again."

He didn't give her a chance to respond, just pulled her back against his chest and held her. Gabby wrapped her arms around him finally and held on just as tightly as he was. She was relieved to know that he wasn't furious at her. He continued to whisper into her hair, how much he loved her, how worried he had been, mild curses followed by terms of endearment.

She pulled away and Casper panicked momentarily till he heard the footsteps of his brothers approaching.

Vin nodded at them both and Gabby stepped up to him and kissed his cheek. "You call me if you need me sugar." He assured her and kissed her back. He mounted his bike and backed it up and turned it before revving it and riding to the end of the driveway, and waited.

Shark eyed him and shook his head. Vin was not so subtly waiting for Shark, making sure he left the couple alone as well. Shark wanted to apologize, hug Gabby, and assure her he was there for her. His throat closed up again as the woman before him morphed into a teenage Gabby gasping for air. He cleared his throat and mounted his bike.

"Night love birds." He gave them a smile and strapped on his helmet.

"Night Shark." Gabby gave him a small smile as she said it and he knew he was forgiven. He smiled and revved his bike, giving them both a nod as he rode away.

Casper guided Gabby into the garage. "Gabby…" He trailed off and exhaled. There was so much he wanted to say, but he was deathly afraid of making the situation worse. He held onto her hand and looked at her.

"Don't. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired. I just want to shower and go to bed." She pulled her hands out of his and started to make her way inside.

Casper watched her walk away from him. He was suddenly angry. At her, at the situation, at everyone seemingly knowing what his wife needed except for himself.

"Gabby." He said her name more forcefully and cut her off at the door. He buzzed the garage closed and grabbed her hips. "I don't want to fight, but we need to talk about this."

"I'm done talking Casper, I'm talked out."

"No. No you're not done talking because you haven't said shit to me. I'm your husband Gabby, your old man. You're mine. You have a problem you come to me. You don't walk out. You don't turn to another man. Fuck that."

"I'm yours? Fuck you! I don't belong to anybody. All I wanted was to be left alone. You sent Vin after me." Gabby hissed.

"Bullshit. You said you talked."

"I talked, yeah. And you know what Vin did? He fucking listened to me. He didn't ask questions, or try to discuss how it made me feel, or offer solutions, or try to fix anything. He just fucking listened to me." She ripped herself away from him and stepped back till she hit her SUV.

"That's all I ever fucking wanted. You want me to get shit off my chest, I'm fine with that. But there is nothing I can tell you that you can fix or make up for. It's all in the past.

"I'm done Casper. I'm done with all this shit. I'm not talking about Emily Duncan anymore. And if you can't get on board with that I'm done with you too."

Casper's heart stopped at those words. He couldn't think, he couldn't move. Gabby brushed by him into the house and slammed the door closed. He sat down on the stairs and laid his face in his hands.

She didn't mean it. She couldn't mean it. Gabby had never threatened to leave him before. Not when they argued about putting the house in just her name, not the first time he got arrested while they were dating. Never. Leaving wasn't a bargaining chip she used.

He got up and walked to his car. He grabbed the gun off the trunk lid and checked the magazine before putting it back in his saddle bag. He sat on his bike and took a few deep breaths. She wouldn't leave. He wouldn't let her leave. All she wanted was to not talk about her mother. He wasn't gonna lose his wife over that dead whore.

Gabby peaked in on the kids before hopping into the shower. She scrubbed herself down completely, washed her hair, shaved, scrubbed her feet, exfoliated her face. When she ran out of body parts to clean she simply sat on the floor of the shower and let the water pound on her.

She didn't leave the shower till the water turned ice cold. She climbed out and patted herself dry, she rubbed lotion into her skin and towel dried her hair. When she was done she leaned on the counter and simply starred at herself in the mirror. She looked as exhausted as she felt. It was time to leave the safety of the bathroom, she was regretting her decision to not be juvenile and lock the bedroom door.

She took a deep breath, hung up her towel, and stepped into the bedroom naked. Casper was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed. He watched her walk out and around him to her side of the bed.

She sat on the edge, her back facing his. She picked up her phone from the nightstand and scrolled through the missed calls. She dialed her voicemail and listened to Shark's message.

"Found it in the kids' bathroom." Casper spoke as she deleted the message and checked that her alarm was set for work. She set the phone back down and lay on her side on the bed, still facing away from Casper.

She listened to him sigh and get back up. He stormed into the bathroom, slammed the door, and stripped. He started the shower, felt the water temperature and turned the water all the way to hot. He stood under the still luke warm water for a few moments till it went back to ice cold. He turned the water back off and dried off.

He came back out and looked at his wife's form. He was still angry, but he felt lucky that after everything that had happened tonight she had still chosen to sleep in their bed. He sighed again and climbed into bed. Gabby didn't move, but he could tell by her breathing she was still awake. He shifted closer to her and kissed her shoulder. She didn't flinch away so he shifted closer, ran a hand lightly down her side and pressed another kiss to her shoulder.

He ran a hand back up her side and down her arm. He linked his fingers with hers and pressed his lips to her temple. "What do you think about getting the kids a pool? One of those cheap ones, above ground, that we put together ourselves." It was an olive branch, changing the subject. He didn't know what he was gonna do, but right now he just wanted to prove to his wife that he heard what she said, that he had listened to her, and that he could drop the subject of Emily.

"It'd take up a lot of room in the yard." Gabby murmured. She knew what Casper was trying to do, move on from the fight, and appreciated it.

"Less grass to cut. It would be great for the summer."

"Need to get Mathew swimming lessons first."

"I'll arrange it." Casper assured her and kissed her cheek this time.

"My feet hurt." Gabby admitted after a few moments of silence.

"I bet they do." He said with a chuckle. He threw the sheet off them both and kissed his way down her body, kneeling at her feet as she turned onto her back. He gave her an appreciative smile as he scanned her body and started rubbing her feet.

He worked her arches and her heels, watching some of the tension drain from her face. He worked up to her ankles, then her calves; her smooth lotioned skin allowing his fingers to slide over her. She readjusted herself, lying flat and bending her knees. He scooted closer and massaged her thighs, leaning down to kiss the inside of a leg, starting at her knee.

His hands continued to massage ahead of his lips. As he reached her core he slipped his hands to her ass, splaying his fingers across her cheeks, and lifted her entire pelvis, opening her hips, displaying her in front of his face. He didn't taste yet, he switched his lips to her other thigh, nipping and suckling the tender flesh while she squirmed.

By the time he dipped his tongue into her sex she was soaked. He worked his tongue along her clit slowly, waiting for her to thrust her hips at him before applying any real pressure. He teased her till her legs quivered and finally sucked on her clit, grazing it with his teeth, sending her over the edge.

He pinched her thighs with his thumbs, preventing her from clamping his head between her legs. He continued to lavish attention along her slit as she came back down.

She laid her head down flat and took a few deep breaths. Casper let go of her legs and kissed his way up her body. He nipped her hip bones, swirled his tongue around her navel. He licked and sucked and kissed her stomach covering every inch of her pale flesh before moving up to her tits.

He used the flat of his tongue on the bottom of her left breast. He worked his way to the expanse between the two and then grabbed her right nipple between his teeth, changing her near constant whimpering to a yelp. He sucked hard, one hand pinching her other nipple, the other hand snaking back between them.

She was still soaked, thrusting against him, both knees bent, one leg riding up over his ass. Both her hands were weaved through his short hair, seemingly pulling him closer and pushing him away at the same time.

He plunged two fingers inside of her, pumping her, his thumb pressing on her clit. He sucked more of her breast into his mouth and pressed down lightly with his teeth. He stopped pumping his fingers and curled them instead, brushing against her g-spot, his thumb ever present on her clit.

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck baby." She whispered over and over again as she climbed back up to another orgasm. "Please. Please please." She tore his mouth off her breast and dragged his head up to hers to kiss him but he nipped her ear instead.

"You want me Gabby?" He whispered, punctuating the question by curling his fingers inside of her once more. He dipped his tongue in her ear before dragging it down to her jaw line.

She gasped and he brought his lips to hers. "Tell me you want me." He whispered against her lips.

"I want you." She got out on another gasp as he curled his fingers once more inside of her. She wrapped her other leg around him and bit his lip hard enough to make him flinch.

"I need you inside of me." She said as she let go of his lip. He groaned and kissed her, pulling his fingers out of her and slipping his swelled cock in instead.

He started thrusting immediately, his hands snaking underneath her. She clung to him, digging her nails into his back. She took everything he gave her, letting him get out all of his hurt and anger and fear. She knew he wouldn't go too deep, wouldn't hurt her, or at least wouldn't hurt her more than she wanted to be hurt by him.

Her orgasm built quickly and Casper swallowed her swears as she fell over the edge, plunging his tongue in her mouth, never pausing in his thrusts. He waited till she calmed down and then lifted her up, kneeling with her wrapped around him and grabbed her ass. He lifted her and pounded her back down, faster and harder than she ever could ride him.

She tipped her head back and his mouth found her collar bone. He pressed his lips against it, choosing not to mark her. His breathing got heavier and he thrusted erratically into her till he came with a loud groan.

"Baby." She met his eyes as he stopped twitching inside of her. He looked her in the eye for just a moment and then attacked her mouth, kissing her almost desperately. He gently laid her back down on the bed and stretched over her, cupping her face in his hands and keeping his lips glued to hers.

Casper woke up before the alarm went off and watched his wife sleep. It was easily his favorite past time. But this morning all he could imagine was what would have happened if she hadn't come home last night.

What would he have done? How long would he have waited? Would he have asked his brothers to hunt her down, or made the rounds to places she might have spent the night? He had no idea where she had gone, what she had done.

Why had she taken the gun? What had been her plan? Did she have a plan when she left? Why had she taken his fucking gun?

They hadn't talked about any of that. She wouldn't talk about it, and now he was afraid to ask.

He knew one thing from the hours she had been gone; he couldn't live without her. He'd rather have her here with him, suffering in silence , than try to help her and risk losing her.

What did that say about him? Was he being selfish, putting his needs before her own? But he was doing what she wanted, what she asked of him. All he wanted was to see her happy. But doing this now, dropping the subject of Emily wasn't making her happy; it was just taking some of the pain away.

In truth though, he didn't know how to make her happy, didn't know how to help. So making things less painful was the best he could do. The whole situation made him feel like a selfish prick.

Gabby's alarm went off and she reached over and pressed snooze. She dropped her head back to her pillow and groaned. Casper propped himself up on an elbow and kissed her gently. He was half hard, always ready for morning sex with his wife, but he knew she would be sore from the night before. He had been rough with her on their first run, and though he had been loving and gentle the second time he could tell she hadn't enjoyed it as much as she usually did.

"I'll take care of the kids. Get some more sleep." He assured her. She looked back at him lazily, still half asleep, and nodded her head. He smiled and kissed her again before climbing out of bed.

He took a quick shower and pulled on clean jeans and a t-shirt. He was completely distracted. He had no idea what to do about his wife, what he needed to do to help her. Part of him still thought it best to just play it safe, let her figure out her own emotions. It was what she wanted, and it had always worked out best in the past when he had stayed out of stuff like this. Talking about it just upset her. But that was why they were here now. Gabby had never talked about it; never dealt with it. And when faced with it, literally face to face with her biggest demon, she had fallen apart. Could he really ignore that?

He started coffee and packed the kids lunches, popping waffles in the toaster when he heard little feet on the stairs. The thought of eating a breakfast himself made him nauseous.

"Daddy!" Mathew came into the kitchen first and launched himself at Casper.

"Good morning little man. You hungry?" Casper picked him up and put him in his chair with a sippy cup of milk.

"Pancakes." Mathew said and grabbed his fork to clank on the table.

"No I want French toast!" Kristen came in the kitchen dressed for school in an outfit that looked entirely picked out by a six year old.

"We're having waffles." Casper announced to both the kids, and with that the toaster popped up. He plated the waffles, gave one to each kid followed by butter and syrup and milk for Kristen. He peeled an orange and put it between the kids to share before finally pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Is everything packed in your book bag Kristen?"

She stopped and thought a moment before nodding her head, her mouth full of a large orange slice.

"Alright, dishes in the sink please when you're done." Casper reminded the kids and headed back upstairs, a cup of coffee in each hand.

He set both coffees on the dresser and finished getting dressed as he waited for Gabby to get out of the shower. When the water turned off he let himself into the bathroom. Gabby was slowly drying off, she looked dazed, zombie like.

"You okay love?" He asked, and then bit his lip. He didn't know how far he was supposed to take the whole not talking about 'it' thing.

"Just tired." Gabby assured him and hung up her towel. Casper grinned at her naked body and stepped towards her.

"Take the day off." He suggested and kissed her forehead.

She pulled away but stayed close to him, turning to the mirror and pressing her ass against him. He wrapped his arms around her and looked at her reflection in the mirror, his beautiful wife.

"I can't. I'm mediating. That boy who gave up the kitchen is meeting with his mom today." Even as she spoke her eyes were at half-mast. Casper pulled her tighter against him and kissed the top of her head.

She let her head fall against him and looked up at him. "I need a break." She admitted and Casper nodded his head.

"I'll call Trish tonight for the kids. We can go to the clubhouse, play some pool, drink. Get some adult time."

"No…" She pulled away slightly and grabbed her hair brush. "I need a break from all of it. From the club…just everything, from the guys and the questions and the drama."

"Okay." Casper kneaded her lower back with his hands as she pulled away again to brush her hair. "Kristen will be out of school in two weeks. We can take the kids and get out of town. Go to Disney, or San Diego, make the rounds to Sea World and the zoo. Or we could ditch the kids on your dad and Shark and go somewhere on our own." He kissed her bare shoulder and waggled his eyebrows at her in the mirror.

"That would be nice." Gabby smiled at him.

"Which?"

"Just the two of us somewhere. I got lots of vacation time. You think you could get away?"

"Absolutely. You wanna go on a trip, consider it done." He kissed her neck and rested both his hands on her stomach, splaying his fingers out. "Time it right, maybe work on our little side project." Bringing up trying for a baby so soon after their fight was dangerous, but it was a good way to make sure they were okay again. To make sure that Gabby being sick of everything didn't mean sick of him, sick of the kids, the family, everything.

Gabby dropped her brush and laid her hands on top of his. Casper continued to kiss her neck but kept his eyes locked on hers in the mirror. She smiled finally and he felt like a huge weight was lifted off his chest.

Casper walked into the clubhouse and Shark walked directly up to him and gave him a hug.

"Everything okay?" He asked as let go.

"Yeah brother." Casper nodded and patted Shark on the shoulder.

Shark nodded. "Grab some gear. We roll out in 10."

Casper looked around at the men getting ready. "No Harry?"

"No Harry." Shark shook his head.

"What the fuck happened to Bull?" Casper asked, spotting the man nearly bent over, holding his side.

"Happy happened."

"Fuck. And no Tony?"

"Tony's at the sight, Vin wanted to make sure the innocents left. Bull's coming, got no choice, Nomads couldn't break free of Vegas to back us up."

Casper nodded his head. Fresno took out a lot of kitchens. They asked for help when they didn't have much intel. They may not have names for this group, but they did have some information. It was only three men. Even without Harry Fresno would be nine strong. He liked three to one odds.

Happy trained his eyes on Vin who was intently watching Casper and Shark. Nothing appeared to be wrong between them which made Happy think Vin knew something about the two that Hap wasn't aware of.

"You good Hap?" Lenard asked, walking up to him and patting his shoulder. Lenard had gone over the rules with his officers. He didn't want to go in planning to kill, but he wasn't opposed to it. If they needed to kill, they would kill. They had to assure Fresno knew the club was still strong.

"I'm ready." Hap nodded.

"Alright!" Lenard yelled and got the attention of the men. "Tony is at the house, he gave us the all clear. This is residential, don't shoot first. Aim carefully; silencers on. Bull, Tom Tom, Shark, and Casper in the van. Park in front, block the drive. Take the front door, get in friendly if you can, or take the door on my signal. Rest of us on the bikes, down the alley, take the side door. There should only be three guys in there. Communicate, get them all. We want to talk, not kill. We need these men to spread the word. Fresno ain't a free for all. Sons are whole."

The men cheered and Happy waited for Lenard to nod before whistling loudly above the noise.

"Roll Out!"

Shark and Casper took up positions at the front door. Tom Tom was one step behind them, phone to ear, synching with the crew coming from the alley. Bull stayed halfway between the front door and the van, ready, in theory, to catch anyone who made a run for it, but in reality he was practically useless in his horribly beaten state.

Tom Tom gave the signal and Casper knocked on the front door. The idea was to draw the men to the front, hopefully go in easy, or appear to by anyone on the street, while the other group took the back door. It stopped anyone from running, caught any half-baked cookers by surprise by doubling their numbers once they got inside either door. They'd taken down a dozen kitchens this way.

No one came to the door but the men heard shuffling inside. Casper eyed Tom Tom, waited for him to nod, and then took a step back and kicked in the door.

The rest was chaos. The men inside started yelling in a mixture of Spanish and English. Shark and Casper ran to the kitchen, guns drawn as they heard Lenard and Vin shouting for guns to be put down. But who were they telling to put the guns down? SAMFRES or the guys in the house?

Shark peaked around the corner, using hand signals to stop Tom Tom and Casper from following him. One man had a gun to Frankie's temple, another was waving a gun at the remaining men, panic clear in his eyes.

Shark caught Happy's eye and gave him a nod. In an instant Happy grabbed Frankie's cut and pulled him down to the floor as the man holding him hostage fired. Shark shot him in the chest and the other man spun around and started firing, Casper pulled Shark out of the line of fire and took a few shots, both he and the gunmen fell at the same time.

Happy pounced on the gunman, Casper had managed to hit him in the shoulder on his own way down. Shark leapt onto Casper, checking for a pulse.

Bull ran inside at the sound of gunfire. He stepped in the door and was immediately face to face with the third man, running down the stairs to flea while there was seemingly no one guarding the front door. The man reacted first, pulling out his gun and firing at Bull as he ducked for cover.

Tony ran across the street; he collided with the man fleeing out the door. Tony grabbed his shirt, slinging him into the ground and fell as well. By the time he got back up the man was scurrying to a car parked on the street. Tony took two shots, shattering the rear windshield but didn't hit the man.

Tony hurried inside and collected Bull off the floor, he was clutching a bleeding wound to his upper left arm. Tony looked around and followed the noise, pulling Bull behind him into the kitchen.

"Jesus." Bull said looking around, still clutching his arm. One man lay dead on the floor, Happy was tying up another that looked to be bleeding heavily. Frankie was firmly clutching a towel to his head, the white rag quickly turning red.

"Fuck. Is he?" Tony pointed to Casper still lying prone on the floor.

"He's FINE." Shark snapped as he tore open Casper's shirt.

"Shit. Pres. That's one of 'em. Fuck, they both are." Tony looked at the men they had been here to talk to.

Happy looked at Tony and ripped open the bound man's shirt. Diablos was scrolled out large in red ink across the man's chest. Large, rougher D-27 covered it in black.

"Jesus. Jesus! I told you! I fucking told you we should have sat on the fucking house!" Bull started to rant.

"Shut the fuck up!" Lenard yelled back and pulled his gun again, pointing it at Bull. "I don't want to hear another fucking word come out of your mouth. Go wait in the fucking van."

Bull stared at the gun a moment before storming out of the kitchen back to the front door.

"Get those two in the van. Frankie?" Lenard looked at his secretary. "Fuck Frankie, you in the van too, Shark take Frankie's bike back."

Happy picked the bound D-27 member up and threw him at Vin. He shoved Shark aside and grabbed Casper's cut, pulling his torso off the ground. Tom Tom bent down and supported Casper in his new position and Happy ripped open his bullet proof vest, checking it did its job.

It had, there was no blood, but a nasty bruise was already forming over his sons in laws chest, the shot would have killed him. The impact had most definitely still broken his sternum. He slapped Casper hard across the face and the man came to with a coughing fit, clutching at his chest.

"You good?" Lenard asked him as Tom Tom and Happy helped him up.

Casper nodded, still coughing, and gave Lenard a thumbs up.

"Tony stay here and clean up the blood. Get out before any cops show up." Lenard gave more instruction and Shark grabbed a box of garbage bag off the counter, clearing the thankfully not running, make shift meth lab into bags and handing them to Tom Tom.

Lenard stood and watched as his men started to follow his orders. Casper took the bags from Tom Tom and headed to the van. Tom Tom and Shark grabbed the dead body and dragged him out. Happy and Vin manhandled the wounded man out the door as well, following the body to the van.

"Pres?" Frankie asked.

"Get everybody back to the clubhouse. Lockdown. It's their move now. No one else I love is going off the side of a cliff."

FYI: I very nearly ended this chapter with Casper still unconscious, and no mention of a bullet proof vest. (Note I never told you he put one on either). But I decided not to be that mean. So you know...if you want to click in that review box and thank me for not giving you all panic attacks, that would be great ;)

I got a great anonymous review from 'Sandra' for chapter 18 and I wanted to answer it so I shall do it here: Gabby is pissing me off too! She really is pushing her boundaries and Casper has every right to be pissed. Gabby is lost right now, well and truly lost, she can't take much more being thrown at her right now, and Casper knows this. He doesn't know how to help her. He is angry, but he is afraid of losing her or making things worse by expressing too much anger at the situation.