If any British people are reading this, I apologize in advance.
Ruby skipped into her dorm room. "I'm baaaack!" No girl had ever been happier for school to start again. Luckily, Dad had been merciful enough to lift their punishment so they could, you know, get an education. Crescent Rose was strapped to her back again, and it was like a hole in her heart had been filled. Mind you, Dad had never actually said they were un-grounded...maybe she should look into staying at Beacon over their next break. "Hey! How come it smells like air freshener in here? And was that rug always there?"
"You're imagining it!" Nora insisted. "Uh, anyways! How was Patch! Did you get to slice up a lot of cool Grimm?" She made some chopping motions with her hands.
"I wish." Ruby pouted. "Me and Yang got grounded the whole time, 'cause of the docks."
"Sure did." Yang chimed in from the hallway. "At least we got let out for my birthday. Guess who's eighteen now?" Her sister pointed at herself with both thumbs. "Eat it, underage people!"
Weiss turned to them with her trademark 'you are being a child' expression, one Ruby was all too familiar with. "You do realize I turned eighteen in May, right?"
"No, why would I? No one mentioned it." Yang quipped. "Really, May? I figured you were born in the dead of winter."
"Wait, what?" Ruby clapped her hands to her face. "I forgot my own partner's birthday? Ahhhh! I'm sorry!"
"Forgot implies you ever knew in the first place, which you didn't." Weiss replied coolly. "And I don't particularly care. Not as if surviving another orbit around the sun is some great accomplishment."
"Yo, Icy-Hot!" Yang was shouting into her own room. "You seriously turned the big one-eight last semester? And never told us?" Ruby was briefly confused by her sister's deductions, before she remembered that being twins kind of meant you were born at the same time.
Sable poked his head out the door, looking characteristically grumpy. "So what? I'm hardly going to demand a party in my honor, just for surviving another orbit around the sun!"
"Jinx!" cheered Nora.
"Hi Ruby!" Jaune wandered over to check out the excitement. True to his Arc promise, the blond was still around, and looked to be in a non-depressive mood at that. Phew. Blake trailed behind, body language screaming 'I have no interest in this conversation but everyone else is here, so whatever'. Nothing new there, either. "Uh...would this be a bad time to mention that I had my birthday last semester too?"
"What? What!" Ruby exclaimed. "Okay, raise your hand if you've had a birthday since initiation?" Everyone except Blake and herself raised their hands. "Oh no...what kind of friends are we?"
"Ruby, it's not a big deal—" Ren began.
Ruby tuned out his words. She had already grabbed a sheet of paper and started scribbling furiously. "No, no, no, I gotta fix this!" Friends were supposed to blow out candles on cake, embarrass each other with off-key singing, play party games like spin the bottle (what was so fun about watching some stupid bottle spin, anyways?)...and buy each other presents. Oh gosh, she wasn't sure she had Lien for five presents. Maybe they could skip the presents this once.
"We've lost her." Yang whispered. "Well, this ought to be good."
Cinder Fall glared at the waste of skin kneeling before her. Beads of sweat trickled down his face, carrying little globs of black eyeliner with them. Despite the many things he left to be desired, at least Vale's self-proclaimed number one criminal knew his place. Of course, the uncomfortably warm finger currently resting on his face helped. So did the fireball burning in her other hand, reminding him how much more uncomfortable things could get.
"Give me one good reason I shouldn't ignite you on the spot." Cinder said coldly. She wouldn't, but Roman Torchwick didn't know that. It was amazing how cooperative people got, when they believed you could and would kill them at any moment. "Let's see if you burn as bright as your last name, shall we?"
Roman attempted a cheeky smile, which only made him look like he was suffering severe constipation. "You'd miss me?" he offered. Cinder scowled, channeling more of her Semblance into her index finger. For a moment, the fingertip burned hot enough to eat away at his Aura. "Ow, ow! Take it easy!" His pink-and-brown minion's hand twitched towards her parasol, eyes anxious. "Neo, stand down!"
"Try again, Roman. What do you have to say for yourself?" She removed her finger, letting the criminal rub the little round burn mark on his nose. Of course, she'd done her best to scale Roman's role in the plan to reflect his overall competence, but still, blowing seven Bullheads and a good chunk of her cannon fodder (sorry, valued comrades of the White Fang) on a simple Dust robbery was...less than ideal.
"I had to escape somehow! And who cares about those extras, anyways? Serves them right, getting punked by a bunch of kids." Roman said defensively. "I think I'm worth a hell of a lot more. I'm the...well, not the main villain, that's you..." A flattering description, admittedly, if sadly inaccurate. "...a secondary antagonist? At least?"
"Oh, like Ice Cream over there couldn't just bust you out." Mercury said sarcastically. Neo shrugged. Was that a thank-you shrug or an of-course-I-could shrug? Whatever, she had better things to do than become fluent in Neopolitan.
"Don't give me lip, Legless. You weren't there." Roman waved a finger. "Some of those kids, I swear, they looked ready to hand out some street justice. Besides, can't you just tell Horny to pull more lemmings out of his ass, or wherever he hides them?" Yes, it was a very good thing the plan did not entail Roman and Adam cooperating directly. The trigger-happy faunus would probably gut anyone who called him Horny, ally or not.
"Fortunately for you, in spite of your...failings." Cinder began, in as merciful-sounding a tone as she could manage. "The plan remains on schedule. You've scraped enough Dust for us to proceed to phase two. Nonetheless, our friends of the White Fang will need to replenish their numbers somewhat. Disposable as they might be, quantity has a quality on its own, as the Grimm would tell you. If they could speak, that is." Perhaps she would let him in on that joke, one day. Would he faint? Soil himself? Both at once? "It might go some way towards redeeming you in their eyes, if you were to assist their recruitment efforts."
"You're kidding, right? I'll get lynched!" Roman protested. "I mean, uh...look, this lot only puts up with me because Horny said so." True, and Adam had needed to cut a few necks before they did. "Don't you think it's a bad idea for, you know, a human to be recruiting for a human-hating terrorist group?"
Cinder gave him a disingenuous smile. "I trust in your animal magnetism, Roman." Emerald giggled sycophantically behind her. Roman appeared to be in physical pain. Complain about my puns, I dare you. Didn't think so. "Not that you'll be armed with that alone. I can also provide you with this." With a flourish, she pulled up a holographic image on her Scroll.
Torchwick stared at it. Cinder could practically see the hearts in his eyes. Was he drooling? How disgusting. "Ooh, shiny...er, this seems perfectly fair and I would be happy to help our friends out of the goodness of my heart, I mean evilness of my heart—"
Mercury smirked. "Pay up, Em." The green-haired thief growled and slapped a Lien card into his hand. "Told you." the gray-haired boy whispered. "Bitches love giant robots."
With a loud thump, Ruby dropped a binder the size of her torso on the breakfast table and promptly doubled over, coughing and gasping for breath. "Holy crap!" Jaune stared at the binder. It looked formidable enough to qualify as a Huntsman's weapon by itself. "Did you write all that?"
"It's mostly blank pages." Weiss informed them. "She just thought it looked more impressive this way."
"Shh..." Ruby shushed her partner, sounding ragged. "The things I *wheeze* do for a sight gag..." She took a moment to catch her breath again. "So! Sisters, friends—"
"That ought to be sister and friends, Ruby." Weiss interrupted. "You've only got one sister here, barring any genealogical surprises."
"Whatever." Ruby stuck her tongue out. "Sisters, friends, Weiss...four score and seven minutes ago, I had a dream—"
"Those speeches were a hundred years apart!" Sable corrected her. "Five score, if you will. Spare us your mangling of the historical record and get to the point, why don't you?"
"A score is twenty? Huh!" Ruby digested that fact. "Okay...sisters, friends, Schnees, it's the last day before classes start, and we have five birthdays to make up! So let's make it the birthiest of days! There'll be cake, and party games, and...cake, and uh...no presents, since this is kind of last minute..." Ruby thought of something else. "Wait, Pyrrha, when's your birthday?"
Their ninth wheel of their group looked up. "Hmm? Oh, it's not until November. Don't worry, Ruby, we'll get there eventually."
Sable waved a hand dismissively. "Pass. I'll leave you to spend time with your real friends."
"I didn't mean that! I'm sorry—"
Yang punched him in the arm. "And here I was, hoping you'd be less of a dick this semester. Guess not. Come on, Icy-Hot, it's the last day of break..."
"You just want another party, don't you? You've had yours already!" Sable said accusingly. "I was thinking, it's as good a day as any to review our finals results. Don't think I've forgotten about your score."
Yang chuckled nervously. "Geez, chill out." Sable glared at her, but only a little. The pun was well worn out by now. "Never seen someone get so pissed over a birthday party before. Bad memories?" Yang grinned teasingly at her leader. "What, did Weiss-cream always get more presents, or something?"
"Well." said Sable matter-of-factly. "One time, our father told our mother that he never really loved her."
Dead silence. Everyone waited hopefully for Sable to announce he was joking, and looked increasingly uneasy when he did not. Weiss just facepalmed. "Er..." the dark-haired boy coughed into his fist. "You weren't wrong about Weiss getting more presents, either. That was quite irritating too."
"Wow...that went zero-to-100 real quick." Yang winced. "Uh...sorry?"
"Hmph. Perhaps you should stop asking questions you won't like the answers to."
More silence. Ruby slumped back into her seat. The table returned to their breakfast, festive spirit deflating like a punctured balloon. Nora looked from one glum face to another, shook her head in disappointment, and walked away.
Two minutes later, she returned, cradling a heaping bowl of banana pudding in her arms. Without saying a word, Nora came up behind Team SJBY's side of the table, and casually emptied the bowl over Yang's head.
Two seconds later, the gates of hell opened.
Jaune was starting to suspect that every Huntsman student was a tinderbox of pent-up aggression, ready to blow at any moment. Nora launched her surprise attack on Yang's hair (possibly the most insane thing she'd ever done, which was saying a lot), Yang inevitably tried to crack Nora's skull like an egg, the rest of the table got dragged in to back up their teammates (with various degrees of enthusiasm), the rest of the cafeteria decided that screw relaxing on the last day of break, it was a great day for a battle royale. Wasn't this how the Great War had started? Just as well they were training to be Huntsmen, not diplomats. Also, there seemed to be some rather unfriendly things happening under the auspices of this supposedly friendly food fight. A group of Atlas and Shade students were straight-up punching each other. Cardin Winchester was getting his ass beat by a pink-haired faunus with a cat tail, though at least she'd kept with the spirit of things by using a pair of popsicles.
A grim-faced Lie Ren blocked his path. In the background Yang and Nora battled it out. The indescribable sound of a turkey-glove hitting a watermelon-hammer at the velocity of a car crash echoed in the air. "Jaune. I have no quarrel with you." Ren held a cucumber in each hand; the sight made him oddly uncomfortable. "But if you take another step, I will do my duty."
"Uh...same here. Nothing personal, man." Jaune held up a metal tray and a banana, in poor imitation of Crocea Mors. "But an Arc always...you know." Follows his leader, sticks by his comrades, defends the sanctity of his teammate's hairstyle, one of those options.
"A man of honor. I respect that." Ren dipped his head for a moment. "So be it. I shall make it quick." And then Team RRWN's ninja was upon him. Holy crap, this was on an entirely different level from fighting Grimm or nameless White Fang grunts! Cucumbers seemed to come flying in from every direction. Jaune's arms were getting sore from desperately flailing the shield-tray about, and he was still getting pelted. He was in quite a pickle indeed (ugh, that was terrible).
The pink-eyed boy jumped straight up and vanished. What was that, some secret ninja technique? Now where did he go—oh crap! His 'imminent pain' sense saved him just in time. Jaune spun around, barely dodging a cucumber that would've gone up...a very sensitive spot. Not cool, man! Sadly, he wasn't fast enough to avoid the ninja's follow-up attack. Ren delivered a flying kick with both legs to Jaune's gut, knocking the wind out of him. To add insult to injury, he went crashing into a tureen of pea soup. Jaune wheezed, simultaneously trying to recover his breath and expel a pint of soup from his sinuses. Gods damn it, that was his least favorite kind, too. "Well fought." Ren approached with cucumbers raised. "Surrender."
Jaune proceeded to do something that he would later look back on with great shame. But in the moment, he was having traumatic flashbacks to the combat class Aura buzzer. Not this again! He wasn't the same loser who'd been a lifetime behind everyone else, now he was...a few years behind, probably? Okay, still not great. Still, there had to be something more he could do! He refused to just curl up and die like the old Vomit Boy would have...
Jaune made an exaggerated retching noise. "Wait, don't—!" Ren began, only for Jaune spew a warm, greenish, fluid over his shoes and trousers. Ren stood frozen in shock and disgust. Jaune lunged, and managed to grab the other boy around the legs. "YANG! OVER HERE!" he screamed, hoping his teammate could hear him over the din.
"OH SHI—" For the first time Jaune could recall, the quiet boy cried out in fear, but was suddenly silenced. A turkey smashed into his face. Ren flew across the cafeteria, crashed through a pillar, and did not get back up.
"Nice combination attack!" Yang called out, flexing her turkey-arm triumphantly. Holy crap, did she look scary with red eyes and a smile. "I'm calling it, uh...Vomit Dragon? Eh, I'll think of a better name later."
"REN! NO!" Nora's scream of anguish and rage rattled the room from floor to ceiling. Jaune looked over, only to find himself nose-to-nose with a high speed watermelon.
Cut to black.
Blake was a very annoying person to fight. The quiet girl had made a replica of her weapon by tying two loaves of bread together with a string of sausages, and was doggedly shadowing Ruby at every turn. Maybe it would be easier if she constructed a pseudo-scythe of her own, but Ruby had standards. Substituting a random assortment of breakfast foods for Crescent Rose would be pure sacrilege!
Ruby squinted, trying to see a path through the whirling meat-and-wheat death trap. There! Ruby dashed forwards with her Semblance, reaching out to grab the dark-haired girl, only for Blake to dissolve at her touch. "Noooo! Stupid clones!" For her trouble, Ruby got painfully sausage-whipped on her legs, back, and...rear end, before beating a hasty retreat.
"Oh, you're approaching me?" Blake said, in a strangely low-pitched voice. She sounded almost smug, which just annoyed Ruby more. Come on, was she that pathetic without her baby? "Instead of running away, you're coming closer?" Maybe Yang had a point about learning unarmed combat, huh...
Run away? Never! "I can't beat you without getting closer!" Ruby shouted in frustration. Not unless there was some food item that somehow mimicked the functionality of a sniper rifle. Ugh, she was a leader, she was supposed to be the creative one, not the one that ran in and got beat up over and over. Could she get some help, over here? Weiss was nowhere to be seen, Nora was very occupied, Ren was—ohhh, that had to hurt! So much for teamwork.
Blake seemed pleased, chuckling darkly. "Then come as close as you'd like."
How close would she like, anyways? Something worth thinking about. Not too far, not too close, but just right...Ruby dashed in again, but stopped herself right on the edge of Blake's reach. When the baguette-on-a-rope swung at her head, she reached out rather than duck.
The bread hit her palms with a stinging thwack, but Ruby held on. "Got it!" Her body dissolved into petals again, along with the loaf in her hands, but it somehow stayed attached to the rest of Blake's weapon...eh, it was best not to think too hard about the physics of her Semblance. Time to try some new tricks. Concentrating with all her might, Ruby willed herself to move in tight circles rather than her usual straight line.
"Ta-da!" Ruby came out of her burst, and time seemed to flow again. Blake wobbled, now wrapped in her own sausages like an oversized present, then fell flat on her face. Getting spun around a dozen times in a few seconds did interesting things to your balance, no matter how ninja you were. Ruby put one foot on Blake's back and struck a victory pose. "Surrender?"
"Stop the room..." Blake said groggily. "I want to get off..." She'd take that as a yes.
BOOM.
A shockwave shook the cafeteria to its foundation. Broken bits of tile flew everywhere. Turning, Ruby saw Nora embedded upside-down in the floor up to her shoulders, recognizable only by her gloves. The rest of her stuck straight up in the air, limbs twitching slightly. A stick hit the floor next to her; the shattered remains of a watermelon still clung to it. "Nora!" Ruby pried her teammate out of the newly-formed crater with some difficulty.
"I...I regret nothing..." Nora said weakly. Her turquoise eyes were pointing in opposite directions. "Wild...card...bi—" Nora went limp.
"Don't leave me! No!" Wait, she was still breathing. Thank goodness.
"Whew..." Yang sat down next to them. Ruby's sister looked winded, her outfit soaked in sweat and watermelon bits. The rib cage of a turkey, almost entirely stripped of flesh, dropped from her right hand. "That was a workout."
"Y-Yang?"
"Not gonna hurt you Rubes, don't worry." Yang smiled at her, eyes purple again. "Got it all out of my system! Besides, what kind of sister would I be if I just beat the tar out of you—"
"Die!" A black-and-white blur raced down the length of a table. "Die! Die!"
Ruby and Yang settled down to watch the attempted kinslaying in progress. "Sweet gods." Yang muttered. "What a family."
Out of the corner of his eye, Sable noticed the sisters walking to the sidelines in apparent truce. Just as well. Not as if they'd want anyone to interfere, considering the stakes...what was at stake, exactly? The honor of Yang's hair? No, the girl herself had well and truly avenged that. Forget it, he could philosophize about mankind's innate predisposition to conflict later. There was a fight to be won!
Although said fight was less a glorious curbstomp, and more a fast-paced stalemate. Back in Atlas, Sable and Weiss had fought each other nearly every day, from the time they were old enough to hold a sword (and on a lot of days before that, to be perfectly honest). There were few other options. Winter was too strong and later too absent to be a good partner, the other children at combat school too weak, and the various household guards too nervous about leaving a mark on their boss's kids. And knowing each other's moves so well...it meant this was going to take a while.
Especially since they had no Dust on hand. And were wielding a pair of fish, rather than their actual swords. A sharp bill whooshed past his left eye and he leaned back to dodge, the old scar tingling. He really wondered about the scale of Beacon's food budget. Seriously, even the Schnee manor didn't serve whole swordfish at breakfast. Sable counterattacked with a stab at his sister's midsection, and Weiss was forced to throw up a white glyph to block in time. Gods, Winter would have yelled at them until their ears bled for fighting in the middle of the cafeteria, with fish, in full view of students from all four Academies. Ha, what Winter didn't know wouldn't hurt her. The pair backed off from each other, keeping the glyph between them. It was really a shame they had no Dust. Dust made everything better...Sable's eyes fell on a conveniently placed bottle of red condiment. Perhaps there was room to improvise?
Another charge. "Die!" Sable whipped the bottle out from behind his back, clutched in his off hand, only for Weiss to produce a pitcher of ice water at the same moment and dump it over the floor. Gods damn it, strange minds really did think alike. His shoes skidded on the newly wet tiles, but he still managed to get a shot off from the bottle.
"My eyes!" Weiss shrieked. Good to know that hot sauce could serve as a poor man's fire Dust. Now if only he could find a way to slow down, before he crashed into the wall at mach speed. Sable stretched out his left arm...and clotheslined some green-haired girl in a Haven uniform with his fish. The girl fell on her backside with an undignified squawk, glaring at him with red eyes while her gray-haired companion laughed himself sick. Idiot should have known better than to stand so close. Still, thanks to her service as a living speed bump, Sable arrested his slide and turned around for another pass.
"How do you like that?" he taunted. "Come on!" Weiss came after him, skating on her puddle as if it were an ice rink, eyes tinted red with rage and hot sauce. Dramatic rain fell from the heavens.
Wait, rain indoors? That didn't make sense. Also, the rain was greenish-purple in color, and oddly sticky to the touch. The twins looked up, to see what looked like to be several hundred soda cans floating above their heads, enveloped in an unearthly black glow.
And then they started to fall.
"Oh fu—"
"Holy crap!" Ruby and Yang could only stare as the Schnee twins vanished in a colorful cloud of mist, screams drowned out by the cacophony of carbonated cans hitting the floor and exploding.
Pyrrha Nikos stood over the wreckage, hands raised in celebration. "Did I win?" she said innocently. With nervous looks at the redheaded weapon of mass destruction, the crowd laid down their arms in an unspoken ceasefire. And on that note, the Beacon Food Fight of the 80th year after the Great War was over.
"You think they're okay?" Ruby asked worriedly. Mortal danger was a natural part of being a Huntsman or Huntress, but 'pelted to death by soft drinks' had to be one of the most humiliating ways to go out.
"I'm sure they will be all right." A voice said soothingly. Professor Ozpin stood there, leaning on his cane with a gentle smile. "That was quite the display you all put on, Miss Rose."
"Aaaahh! I'm—eh? You really think so?" Ruby said hopefully.
"I do." Ozpin said kindly. "Of course, you will all still be getting detention."
"Aww..."
"I got you covered, man." Neptune gave Sun his brightest smile. "Two steps ahead."
Sun wiped his brow. Thank gods, Neptune had somehow contrived for him to not get expelled for missing half the semester, including finals week. "Bro. You're a lifesaver. How did you even manage it?"
"That's...not important." Neptune said shiftily.
"It was stupid." Scarlet David said bluntly, with that distinctive accent of his. "Neptune sat his test, came back with a blond wig and a fake tail on his bum, and sat yours."
"Are you serious?" That was the best his big nerd brain could manage? "How did that ever work?"
Scarlet shrugged. "Not a bloody clue. Either Lionheart couldn't be bothered, or he's denser than a Boarbatusk." He raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. "Maybe you should've thought of a plan, before you went to faff about in Vale."
"Faff about?" Sun was lost. "Sage, help?"
Their last teammate, green-haired and dark-skinned, let out a sigh. "Faffing." Sage Ayana translated for his partner. "Doing things in a disorganized way and not achieving much."
"Hey! Okay, I'll give you disorganized, but I think I achieved plenty!" Sun objected. "I kicked some terrorist asses, made some new friends—"
"Friends? Didn't they try and arrest you?" Scarlet asked.
"I told you, that was a misunderstanding!"
"Sounds like they understood perfectly to me. Would it kill you to pay for stuff once in a while?" Scarlet rolled his eyes. "And didn't they almost get you done in by a load of Bullheads? You've got an interesting concept of friendship, mate."
"Dude, can you not make them sound so sketch?" Sun sighed. "Look, what's life without a little danger? We all turned out fine in the end, and everyone got to do some cool shit! Except the Fang, but screw those jerks."
Neptune held his hands up soothingly. "Okay, maybe we should reserve judgement on the new guys until we've met them? I'm sure they're...fine...if a bit destructive..." He stopped in his steps. "Sun, do you even know where they are? Why are we going this way?"
"Oh." Sun scratched his head. "Well, they're, uh..." 'WHAT?!' An angry voice shouted from down the hall, bailing him out. "...they're over there! Come on, come on!"
"Great start." Scarlet muttered.
Pyrrha slumped against the table. "What? You're killing me? Why would you do that?!"
"Taking out the biggest threat? It's a valid strategy." Ren suggested, sporting a brilliant black eye. Nora's head rested in his lap. "How many fingers, Nora?"
"Six and a half?" Nora groaned. Ren shook his head, and brought a glass of water to her mouth. The girl lapped it up, a dazed yet content expression on her face.
"That...that doesn't make any sense." Pyrrha sighed. "I didn't win the Mistral Tournament of Card Games."
"Well, I think the reason should be obvious!" Sable gestured angrily himself, and then at Weiss, whose hair was still tinged purple. He returned seven Lien tokens to the bank, sealing poor Pyrrha's fate. "I was about to—I mean, Team SJBY was about to win, and then you—ugh!"
"I'm sorry! I got too excited!" Pyrrha apologized. "Okay, I guess I deserve it..." She sadly flipped over her last life card (marked 'Huntress').
Ruby pouted, crossing out item after item on her planner. "So much for that." Between detention and concussions of varying severity, most of the fun activities were off the table. "I guess we could always lie in bed and eat cake." She realized it was her turn. "Uh, I take foreign aid?"
"That's my favorite kind of party, anyways." Jaune said reassuringly. "Seven sisters, and only one party place in town..." he shuddered. "I never want to see a Pluck-E-Cheese's again. And Ruby, my Councillor blocks your foreign aid." Ruby groaned.
Weiss's turn was next. "The only one about to win was me, I'll have you know. Hmm. I pay 3 Lien to activate my Assassin. Jaune Arc, prepare to die!"
Jaune stared her down, poker-faced. It would be more intimidating without the wad of tissues stuffed up his nose. "I block your Assassin with my Huntress."
"Really? You just claimed to have a Councillor! And with three Huntresses revealed already?" Weiss narrowed her eyes. "I challenge! That card's as fake as your transcripts!"
"Come on, that was uncalled for—" Ruby protested.
Jaune smiled nervously. "Aw, man. Someone better call an ambulance." He flipped his card over. A woman bearing a distinct resemblance to Glynda Goodwitch glared at them all, labeled 'Huntress'. Jaune's grin turned vicious. "But not for me!"
"WHAT?!"
"Where did that come from?" Yang regarded her fellow blond in amazement. "That was savage!"
"Eh, I get kind of competitive at card games. Another seven sisters thing?" Jaune shrugged. "Uh...no hard feelings, Weiss."
"Mmph...grrrrr..." Weiss only mumbled more angry gibberish, pounding her fist on the table.
"Hello?" A familiar voice rang out. "Uh, is this a bad time?"
"Hey Sun!" Jaune waved to the monkey faunus. "Good to see you, man. Is that your team?" Three more boys, conveniently color-coded red, blue and green, followed after him.
"Yep! These are my boys, Team SSSN! That's Scarlet, Sage..." Sun clapped his hand on the blue-haired boy's shoulder. "...and this is my old friend, Neptune!"
"Sage and I though, we're just acquaintances." Scarlet quipped. Sun ignored him in favor of pointing out the various Beacon students. "That's Jaune, Blake..." Blake looked up from the dark corner she was lurking in. Everyone had nearly forgotten she was still there. "...Sable, Weiss, Pyrrha Nikos...uh, I kind of forgot the rest of your names, sorry."
"Yeah, you're clearly the best of friends." Scarlet said drily.
"Scarlet, would you stop busting my balls?" Sun snapped at the redhead. "It's a lot of names to remember, all right? And I haven't seen them in weeks!"
"All right, all right! Cool it!" Neptune stepped forwards. "Pleasure to meet you all. Thanks for putting up this doofus." ("Hey!" Sun retorted). "And I promise, we're all glad to meet you, Sage is just shy, and Scarlet...well, he's always full of vinegar."
"Yes, I know the type." Weiss remarked. "So, Neptune, where are you from?" she added, in an unusually cheerful tone. Sable raised an eyebrow at her.
Neptune came up to the table, meeting her eyes with a smile. "Haven—"
"What kind of answer is that, you idiot? We know what school you're from!" Sable said sharply. "She meant your hometown."
"Oh." Neptune seemed taken aback, but rallied quickly. "Right! I'm from Argus, in Mistral. It's on the...coast..." he stumbled on that word, ever so slightly.
Jaune perked up. "Hey, my sister lives there! Do you know someone named Saphron? Looks like me, but, uh, girlier?"
Neptune ignored him. "Beautiful place, really. You should visit some day. I'd be happy to show you around. Anyways, I don't believe we've been introduced—"
"Her name's Weiss! Your leader said so! What are you, deaf—ow!" Weiss kicked Sable in the shins, using the heel of her boot so it'd hurt more. "I apologize for my brother." she said sweetly. "He is, as you'd say, full of vinegar."
"Ah, yeah. Well, it was good talking to you! I should probably get to know some of your other friends too. See you around." Neptune retreated to the other end of the table.
"Geez, overprotective much?" Yang whispered to her leader. "At this rate, your poor sister's going to die a virgin."
Weiss glowered. "That makes two of us."
"And I'm sure you'd be delighted for someone to walk in and flirt with Ruby." For a moment, there was the telltale sound of Yang's hair lighting up. "That's what I thought."
"Ruby is a child." Weiss huffed. "I, on the other hand, am not, and let me tell you, I don't appreciate—"
"Hello?" A strangely accented voice interrupted. It was the red-themed member of Team SSSN. He stuck a hand out. "Sable, was it?"
"Yes. And you're Scarlet, right?" The red-and-black duo shook hands. "Good to know someone on your team can pay attention."
"Thanks." Scarlet chewed his lip. He seemed to have forgotten to let go of Sable's hand. "Um...are you from Tennessee?"
"What kind of question is that, you idiot?" Weiss said sharply. "I don't think such a place exists! We're from Atlas!"
"Because...because you're the only ten I—mmf!" Sage rushed up and clapped a hand over his partner's mouth. "I am so sorry about him. He's dumb."
On the other side of the room, Neptune was backing away nervously from Nora and a very annoyed-looking Ren. Sun just shook his head. In hindsight, maybe introducing Neptune and Scarlet to so many good-looking people at once was a mistake. At least nobody had gotten exploded yet.
A rather 'stations of the canon' chapter, but eh, if I could think of creative plots I wouldn't be doing this for fun. So you get another mess of a fight scene from yours truly. Always a tricky balance to keep things feeling familiar without outright retreading canon and—BAH GAWD! IT'S PYRRHA NIKOS WITH A VENDING MACHINE! STOP THE DAMN MATCH! Shout out to Jaune for being the only one to attempt teamwork there. Maybe he should have been leader, huh? And Blake, you should know better than to make that reference.
Apparently Team RWBY have official birthdays...and I used the voice actors' for JNPR's...it was probably way too much effort just to set up that one-liner.
Oh look, Scarlet and Sage are semi-relevant! Their personalities got developed more in a companion novel, so says the wiki. The dynamic I'm rolling with is Sun as fearless-but-irresponsible leader, Scarlet constantly throwing pseudo-British shade, Sage the quiet one, and Neptune trying to keep things sane (hangups about dancing/water aside).
The card game they're playing is based on Coup. Quite fun, though potentially friendship-destroying.
I knew this fandom could get a bit obsessive with shipping, but I don't think I really appreciated it until now. 5 more reviews regarding ships for this little gremlin who only existed in my head 2 months ago? I'll take it as a compliment, I guess.
GuysLord: Thanks for the well thought-out review! Though my thought after the first paragraph was 'oh no, I'm going to disappoint this guy.' But yeah, Sable isn't nice enough to wait until the dance to kick off hostilities...plus big brother instinct is not limited to brothers...
Happy Nondescript Winter Holiday.