Compared to the last time they'd fought the White Fang, this was one hell of an anticlimax. Most of them just followed Torchwick's orders, jumping out the windows and fleeing into the night. As for the ones who'd tried to stand and fight, 'wet paper bag' about summed up their performance. The usual sounds of gunfire, explosions and screaming echoed in the warehouse. Sun literally didn't need to lift a finger. A couple of his clones ran around, whacking fools left and right. Well, those faunus had been baying for a fight with the Huntsman schools, and they'd gotten one, good and hard. Didn't really help the whole 'violent faunus murderers' narrative Torchwick had going on, though...eh. The annoying sheep guy from earlier was among the casualties; he lay on the ground, twitching and sparking with blue electricity. A clone walked over and pried the shiny toaster from his limp hands. Come to papa, Mr. Toasty...
"Sun!" Penny ran up to him, swords whirling about her like tentacles. "Are you injured?" Before he could reply, the robot girl's hands were patting over his torso. Okay then! Not that he minded her concern, but her sense of personal space could use some work. He'd never had a girl just walk up and start feeling his abs before.
"Uh, I'm fine! Thanks for the save." Best to stop this before it got too weird. Sun grasped her hands in his own and guided them away. "But holy shit, Penny, that was awesome!" Penny let out an embarrassed little laugh. Oh gods, that was freaking adorable. "You just ran through that wall, like, bam! And then you were like—"
"Get a room, you two!" Neptune complained, pumping off blue bolts from his trident-gun. "Your girlfriend's real! We get it! I should've been first, dammit..." Neptune muttered the last part under his breath.
Huh? To be fair, it was a bit weird of them to be holding hands and staring into each other's eyes mid-fight. "She's not my girlfriend—" Penny looked mildly concerned. "Don't get me wrong, Penny, you're a girl—a real girl, and you're my friend, but a girlfriend's...something else." Yeah, he wasn't even going to try explaining that. "We're best friends, like me and Neptune! Um, you can have more than one best friend, I know that doesn't make a lot of sense..." Neptune fake-sobbed something about being replaced. "Shut up, man."
"I see! How irritating." Penny nodded, curiosity satisfied. "Human language is so illogical at times."
"We need to go get Torchwick!" Blake—the other girl he was keeping a secret for—was shouting. "He went that way!" The cat faunus pointed at the giant robot-shaped hole in the wall.
"Leaving would be a good idea." Ren noted. "I don't think this building is stable." The warehouse had definitely seen better days; three out of four walls looked like they'd been hit with a wrecking ball, to say nothing of the bullet holes and miniature craters everywhere. To prove his point, a chunk of the ceiling fell and flattened the last White Fang member standing. "Some of us went a bit overboard with the explosives." Nora giggled.
Weiss had never appreciated the SDC's accountants more than she did right now. The short list of files she'd extracted from that poor receptionist was, in fact, a lot to process. The Schnee Dust Company shipped a mind-boggling amount of Dust to all corners of Remnant, and also lost a lot of it. All those failures were now catalogued on her Scroll, and goodness, there were some spectacular ones. Crane failure dropping an entire stack of crates into the ocean? Check. Summer intern smoking next to an open Dust tube? Check. Homeless people in Mantle breaking into a shop and eating all the Dust for recreational purposes? Check, and also, what.
"I'm not sure I want to sign this. Have you read the thing?" Jaune said nervously. It might be less to process, if only her temporary partner could stop complaining and sign his non-disclosure agreement. "I mean, 'breach of agreement may lead to penalties up to and including 5 years of indentured servitude'? Is...is that allowed?"
"Legal boilerplate." Weiss shrugged. "Look, these are sensitive files! As heiress, I can't be sending company secrets to just anyone." She shot him a dirty look. "It would it terrible if someone were to, say, blurt out classified information in the middle of a crowded courtyard!" Jaune shrank in his seat. Before he could defend himself or beg for forgiveness, both their Scrolls buzzed.
"HEY!" Ruby's voice shouted. There was an absolute racket going on in the background. Weiss heard a series of metallic thumps, gunshots, and Nora yelling 'Parkour!' "Uh, status update, we kind of had to bust into the meeting! Torchwick was there and he ran away in a giant robot...yeah, seriously. We're going after him!" Her (actual) partner had attached a shaky-cam picture of said robot.
"That's a Paladin-290! Where did he get that?" Those weren't even approved for military use yet. The project had gone way over schedule, much to Father's displeasure. It didn't help when the lead scientist had been killed in an unfortunate accident involving a faulty rocket tube. Nothing had been left of poor Dr. Watts except his mustache, or so she heard. "And—what are you doing?!" Jaune bolted from his chair, headed not for the library door, but the nearest window. Ignoring her shout, he went out the window and up the conveniently placed fire escape. Weiss chased the boy onto the roof. "Where do you think you're going? This isn't the airship terminal!"
"I know! There's no time for that!" Jaune paced the rooftop, tapping on his Scroll. "We'd have to walk to the terminal, wait for a ship, take the ship to Vale, then find everyone!"
He had a point, honestly, but Weiss didn't see how standing on the roof got them there any faster. "What are you planning to do? Teleport? Ruby's got nine or ten people with her, I'm sure they can hold on—"
"No! I've got to show them..." Jaune trailed off, swallowing hard. "There's another way. I remembered what you guys did at the docks." A rocket locker dropped onto the roof next to them. The blond stepped inside, entering his destination on the keypad with a shaky hand.
Oh no. She'd sworn to never try that mode of transport again. "Wait! Don't you have motion sickness?"
"Yep." He nodded grimly. "I'll aim at the enemy." The locker's engine fired. "AAAAAAAHHH!" And with that, Jaune Arc went blasting off again, high-pitched scream fading into the night. Weiss was left alone on the roof, mouth hanging open. What had gotten into that boy? The sudden battle mania on top of his normal...well, wimpy attitude made for a really surreal combination. She had a feeling this was somehow her brother's fault.
The little army of students launched, jumped, and parkoured their out of the warehouses and into the street. The sound of a metal monster stomping around made it pretty obvious where to go. It was a pleasant-looking avenue lined with brightly painted houses, slightly marred by the giant robot running down the street and the armored van flying towards them—holy crap!
"DODGE!" Ruby yelled. Someone (Scarlet?) let out an ear-piercing shriek. Pyrrha waved her hands, doing that mysterious black glow-y thing she did. The van slowed down a bit, but was still approaching uncomfortably fast, until Penny stepped in. Throwing her arms up in a X, the girl told physics to get lost and took the full force of the van without budging an inch. It dropped meekly to the ground, sporting a vaguely Penny-shaped dent in its side.
"That girl lifts!" Nora roared in approval.
"More incoming!" Ren warned. As he ran, Torchwick was kicking everything within reach back at them: parked cars, moving cars, lamp posts, and gods knew what other junk. Penny took to the air and did her best impression of a stop sign, blocking car after car. Below, Pyrrha sent out what looked like a rippling black wave at the debris. When the wave hit her, Penny unexpectedly cried out in pain and dropped like a rock. "Penny!" Two golden clones rushed in and held up the station wagon that threatened to land on her, while a third pulled her to safety.
"Are you all right? I'm so sorry!" Pyrrha ran over to check on her. "My Semblance, it..." The champion blinked. "...it's never done that to anyone before? I'm very confused, actually."
"Uh, I'm sure it wasn't your fault!" Sun said nervously. "She probably just, um, overexerted herself? Come on, talk to me!"
"Daisy...Daisy..." Penny groaned, in a distorted voice. Her green eyes spun wildly in their sockets, pupils dilated. "Give me your answer, do..." Penny's eyes closed slowly. There was the sound of something powering off, inaudible above the blaring car alarms.
Sun's eyes widened. "Damn it, not good. I'll get her out of here." Grunting in effort, he hefted the girl in his arms and dragged her out of the street. "Go on without us!"
"Um, get well soon?" Ruby waved goodbye. "We gotta get past this thing!" She stared at the barrier of wrecked cars and other flotsam that blocked the road. "But people might need help in there!" For starters, there was an old man slumped in the driver's seat of the armored van—hey, wasn't that the shopkeep of From Dust Till Dawn? Poor guy had the worst luck. "Okay, why don't we do both? A few of us can stay and clean up, the rest'll go stop that robot!"
"I'll stay behind." Pyrrha began telekinetically clearing the mess, still looking troubled. Ren and Sage waded in, checking the cars for anyone trapped inside. The rest of the group took up the chase once more. Ruby grabbed Blake's arm and fired them both over the top; Nora blasted off with her hammer, dragging a screaming Neptune behind her; Scarlet shot a grappling hook onto someone's balcony, gliding serenely over it all.
"You know what, this is way more peace and quiet than I'm used to." Ren said wryly, once the others were out of earshot. "Here, you'll be all right." He pulled the door of the armored van open and pried the dazed shopkeeper out.
"You're the quiet one too, huh?" Sage replied. "I feel your pain." The pair nodded to each other in manful silence before going back to work.
"That was an utter waste of time. We planned all week for this?" Sable griped. He was back on the gaudy deathtrap known as Bumblebee. "Wasn't this guy supposed to know everything in Vale?" Junior hadn't needed much persuasion to spill everything he knew...which was still absolutely pitiful. What was the point of knowing that Roman Torchwick had hired men for some unspecified crime a few months ago? He couldn't really blame the criminal for keeping Junior in the dark; Sable certainly wouldn't trust his top-secret evil schemes to someone who cracked that easily.
"By reputation!" Yang said defensively. "All kind of sketch people pass through that place, and they say stuff once they've had a few drinks, so I figured maybe—"
"Mm-hmm. And what's your record on personally getting information from him?"
"Uh...zero for two." Yang admitted. "Okay, so it didn't work out! Sue me! I don't see you coming up with leads!"
"I'm not even from Vale, damn it!" Sable snarled back. "And I don't have any criminal contacts! Underworld types don't exactly line up to talk to Schnees, you know?" Unless he counted his own father. To be fair, Jacques might be criminal, but he was hardly a contact. Calling the old man's number out of the blue was unlikely to accomplish anything, other than getting his allowance cut.
"Does anyone line up to talk to you?" Yang muttered.
"HEY! Care to repeat that—" Their Scrolls buzzed, sparing the girl from an entirely righteous and well-deserved tongue-lashing. Yang took a hand off the handlebars to reach for hers, only for Sable to smack her on the wrist. "Don't Scroll-call and drive, you idiot! I'll get it." He brought up his own Scroll, and together they listened to Ruby's message about the running Roman in the rogue robot.
Yang whistled. "You know, I feel like I should be surprised, but I'm not."
"Same, sadly." Maybe letting Blake take the infiltration job was a mistake. Despite her supposed stealth skills, the girl's record at successfully spying on the White Fang now stood zero-for-two. "At least this might not be a total waste of time! How about we smash that bastard's toy, Yang?"
Yang laughed. "You're reading my mind, Icy-Hot! Let's wreck that bucket of bolts!" Sable shouted into the Scroll, trying to work out some semblance of a plan. Sure, they might have failed miserably at intelligence gathering, but this sounded better suited to their strengths.
Whatever else could be said of him and his...acquaintances, they were pretty good at violence.
Penny sat propped against an alley wall, unnaturally quiet and still. Sun was seriously freaking out. He'd taken his friend being an invincible robotic juggernaut for granted. Never in a million years had he expected her to just shut down, like that one sketchy discount Scroll he'd dropped in the toilet. Deep breaths. He had to stay cool! After all those times Penny had saved his butt (three, by his count), he was not going to repay her by running around like a headless chicken. Better start by checking her vitals. Pulse? She didn't have one! Shit! But she was still breathing, so that was good.
Wait, what was he talking about? Robots didn't have pulses! Why did even Penny breathe when she didn't need oxygen? Just to fit in? All right, so might as well toss the basic first aid manual out the window, but gods, he was hopeless with technology. His tech support knowledge was limited to 'put it in a bag of rice' and 'turn it off and back on'...even if Penny did have a power switch hidden somewhere, he wasn't about to go looking for it. Yeah, he was in over his head here. "Come on, wake up." Sun whispered. "Quit scaring me."
With a faint whir, Penny's eyes slowly opened. Hell yeah. The dread Blue Screen of Death had nothing on the power of friendship. "What's your name?" Sun asked frantically. "What's my name? What year is it? How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Penny Polendina, Sun Wukong, 80th after the Great War, four or five depending on whether the thumb is a finger, which sources disagree on." Penny rattled off. "Is something amiss, Best Friend? You seem upset."
"Oh gods." Sun pulled her into a hug. "Can we not do that again? I thought you'd, like, fried your brain or something!"
"Oh, that! No, I'm perfectly fine!" Penny smiled in reassurance. "I merely had to reboot several systems. My logs indicate disruption consistent with an electromagnetic pulse. I'm uncertain as to exactly what happened."
"It was that girl's Semblance! Pyrrha's!" Sun said. "She sent out this weird black wave, and it pushed all those cars back, and then you—oh." Realization sank in for them both. "That's just unfortunate."
"Indeed it is." Penny frowned. "Perhaps I should ask my father to install more shielding when I return to Atlas." She leaned back against the wall. "All systems will be back online in approximately eight minutes, twenty seconds. I should be combat ready afterwards."
"So we've got some time to talk, huh?" said Sun. Penny looked at him in surprise. "I mean, we've only had, like, one real conversation, and that was the day we met. Kind of hard when stuff keeps exploding, but..." He shrugged. "I just think best friends should know each other better, you get me?"
"That sounds splendid!" Penny nodded enthusiastically. "I always wanted friends who would talk to me about things!"
"Yeah, sounds good. We'll cut him off at the pass!" Ruby said cheerfully. She winced and held her Scroll at arm's length. "Hey, stop yelling! I know it's not actually a pass! That was a reference! Okay, bye!" She took stock of who was still with her. Blake, Nora, Neptune, and Scarlet—a little random, but they could make it work. Hopefully. "Listen up, Team, uh...Team Ribbons? Here's the plan!" They'd chased the Paladin north through the industrial district, onto a long bridge. The deep blue Vale River, which split the city of the same name in half (the founders of the kingdom had not been the most creative people), was at its widest here. The bridge was almost free of traffic, maybe because it was getting late, or more likely, because of the highly visible giant metal death machine stomping down the road. "I can get up there with my Semblance, and take someone along. If we slow this thing down enough, we'll have a chance!" The Paladin had one limb too few to take on five of them at once, and three to few to take seven, if they bought enough time for Yang and Sable to hit it from the other end of the bridge. She thought briefly about Weiss and Jaune, but Beacon was on the opposite side of town; they'd just have to sit this one out.
Nora raised her hand as she ran, spouting her typical excited gibberish about breaking various limbs. "I could try." Neptune made an offer as well. "Tri-Hard here's an electric weapon. Might be able to short-circuit the thing!" He waved his trident, tines sparking blue.
"You call it Tri-Hard?" Blake said in disapproving tones.
Scarlet snickered. "Sun's idea, apparently. This prat didn't know what it meant."
"Shut up!" said Neptune. "I don't want to hear anything from you! You named your grappling hook 'Hook'!" He pulled the goggles he always wore over his eyes. Ruby grabbed his arm. "WHOA—!" They blasted forwards in a cloud of red and blue petals, turning solid right above the Paladin.
"—AAAAAH!" Neptune's confused screaming became audible again. Fortunately, he recovered in time to twist around and land on top of the robot, driving his trident into the metal with a thud and a crackle. "Gotcha!" The Paladin did not break stride. "Dang it! Armor's thicker than I thought—AAH!" Torchwick thrashed the robot's top half back and forth like a heavy metal concertgoer, trying to fling the blue boy off.
Ruby descended on the Paladin, scythe swinging, but had to dash back to avoid a point-blank volley of missiles. The Paladin leaned over and headbutted a column, finally scraping Neptune off. He fell over the side of the bridge with a scream of mortal terror. "Neptune! NO! Wait, there's water down there, he should be okay." A faint splash came from below, followed by even louder screaming. "I think?"
"Bollocks!" Scarlet looked horrified. "The git's scared of water! Got to grab him before he drowns!" The redhead dived over the edge after his teammate. "I'm coming, boy! I'M COMING! Tread water!"
"Scared of water? What—EWW!" Ruby came to a horrific realization, and wiped her hands on her skirt. "Gross! Gross! Does he shower?"
"Not important!" Blake shouted. "What now?"
"I'm thinking!" Ruby mulled over the physics of three girls trying to stop a rampaging multi-ton hunk of metal. "Blake, give me one end of your ribbon!" The dark-haired girl gave her a confused look. "Remember the food fight?"
"What—oh." Blake flushed slightly at the memory. She undid the ribbon around her arm; Ruby tied the now loose end to Crescent Rose. A burst of petals, and the two of them reappeared within striking distance of the Paladin. Judging from Blake's petrified expression, she didn't enjoy it much more than Neptune had. Nonetheless, she used a clone to push them out of the way of more missiles, then anchored the katana end of Gambol Shroud into the roadway. All ready!
Just like that day in the cafeteria, Ruby screwed up her face in concentration, zooming ahead of and around the seemingly time-frozen Paladin. One circle, two circles, three circles...she turned off her Semblance and drove Crescent Rose into asphalt. Like a cartoon character who'd suddenly had his shoelaces tied together, the robot tipped forwards and hit the ground with a Remnant-shaking crash. Yes! Blake's ribbon whipped back, ripped in half by the strain, but it had done its duty. Both girls jumped onto the fallen giant, blades stabbing at anything that looked important.
Nora caught up, practically foaming at the mouth. "LEGS!" She bashed Magnhild into the Paladin's knee. Tink! The hammer left a respectable dent in its armor, but the beautiful sound of a limb snapping like a matchstick eluded her. "Aww man—" Torchwick kicked up with his robot leg, punting Nora into the air like a football, and pushed the mech back to its feet. Ruby shot up into the air again, while Blake held on and kept hacking at a shoulder joint.
"I got you!" Ruby caught Nora as she fell. "Petal to the Metal!"
Nora wrinkled her nose. "Are we seriously calling it that? I still like Sugar Rush better!"
"Just do it!" Ruby ordered. "Blake, heads up!" The dark-haired girl shifted aside. Ruby dashed at the mech, Nora in her arms, and Magnhild hit the right shoulder at mach speed. This time, Nora got her satisfying crunch. Crescent Rose followed after, stabbing deep and causing the damaged joint to send out sparks.
Trying to (literally) get the three girls off his back, Torchwick went for the same trick he'd used on Neptune, ramming into a pillar shoulder-first. Ruby, Blake and Nora came off...along with the Paladin's right arm. As the arm plummeted to a watery grave, Ruby and Nora fired themselves back onto the bridge. Blake prepared to throw Gambol Shroud as a grappling hook, then realized she didn't have her ribbon anymore. Before she could think of a backup landing strategy, a hand pulled her back up.
"You're welcome!" Scarlet re-entered the fight, swinging on his hook named Hook. He tossed Blake back to the road. "I'm back, you sodding—" At that exact moment, Roman fired off another round of missiles. "OOOOHHH! AAARRRGH!" To Scarlet's extreme misfortune, one of them got him right in the...family jewels. Needless to say, Scarlet re-exited the fight. The boy crumpled to the pavement. His body flickered with a red sheen, indicating his broken Aura. The girls winced in sympathy. Even Torchwick seemed shocked; the Paladin's remaining arm instinctively covered its crotch.
"Holy crap, are you okay?" Ruby asked, despite the highly apparent answer.
"That...hit the entire front of my genitals." Scarlet squeaked. He slowly dragged himself away from the battle. "Go on without me..."
"LEFT TURN!" Holy crap, did Sable have to scream into her ear like that? Yang was the one who actually knew the city; the last thing she needed was some Atlas boy playing backseat driver. Bumblebee was fast approaching the the road that ran along the north bank of the river. "I said left turn! Slow down or we'll end up in the river!"
"Hey, who's got the license, me or you?" Sure, she could make the turn the boring way, but this whole chase situation called for more speed and general epic-ness. "Check this out!" Yang jerked the handlebars to the right, braking slightly, then slammed on the gas and steered hard left. "Inertia drift, baby!" Bumblebee spun counter-clockwise at high speed, tires skidding across asphalt with an almighty screech. For a moment, it seemed like they were about to eat shit in spectacular fashion, but her trusty bike stabilized, now perfectly lined up with the turn. Tofu delivery boys everywhere would have been proud. "How about that!" Yang looked back at Sable and winked.
Sable responded with a series of loud and varied insults to her intelligence, because of course he did. Yang tuned him out, because of course she did. "I think that's them!" There was a bulky, vaguely humanoid shape moving on the next bridge over. That was probably what they were looking for, unless there were two killer robots rampaging around the city tonight. "You got a plan, Icy-Hot, or should I just crash into the thing?"
"Yes!" Sable shouted. "How durable is Bumblebee, you think?"
Yang's eye twitched. "I already don't like this!"
"...and the next thing I knew, there was another me handing me the bananas! Neat, huh?" Sun finished the less-than-epic tale of how he unlocked his Semblance. There had been no dramatic awakening in a moment of dire need, just a boy who felt too lazy to grab his own snack on a hot Vacuo day.
"How fascinating!" Epic or not, Penny was rapt with attention. "Goodness, my life seems quite uneventful in comparison."
"Eh, not your fault. Still plenty of time, you know?" said Sun. The Vacuan desert provided a hell of a lot more excitement than some Atlas laboratory, he was sure. It was hard to imagine two more different places to grow up...not literally grow up in Penny's case, but whatever. "I mean, something crazy happens at Beacon pretty much every day—wait, are you even attending Beacon? I never see you around."
Penny shook her head. "I stay on General Ironwood's ship. They're not sure if I'm...ready yet."
"Geez, that's rough." Stuck up there, with no one to talk to except a bunch of stick-up-the-butt Atlas military types? He was starting to think the robot thing wasn't the only reason Penny could be a bit loopy. "They let you out often, at least?"
"It's not so bad." Penny reassured him. "I'm not a prisoner, Sun. The General wishes to ensure my safety, is all." The corners of Penny's mouth turned down, in spite of her words. "And I do get days off. Like today! I believe I will be permitted to attend the Vytal Dance as well."
"That's...something." Sun said awkwardly. "Tell you what, I'll save you a dance."
"I look forward to it." Penny's frown flipped upside-down. "Ah! I believe my systems are online once more. Let us return to combat, Best Friend!" She tucked Sun under one arm and leapt from street to roof in a single bound.
Did...did I just get a date? With a robot?
"Nora! Smokescreen!" Ruby ordered. Nora flipped Magnhild's front cover open, and fired all six grenades into the road at once. A cloud of pink smoke and atomized road bits enveloped them. The Paladin lit up with thin red lasers, trying to penetrate the fog with its sensors. Ruby and Blake fired at as many of those as they could, and one by one the little lasers went out. Hopefully that was enough cover for their reinforcements to slip in and do...whatever they were planning.
Meanwhile, Bumblebee raced down the bridge, aimed right at Paladin's bulky silhouette. A makeshift battering ram made of ice encased its front. The bike passed through a series of black glyphs; the gravity Dust within pushed them forwards, accelerating Bumblebee even more. "Here we go!" Yang cocked her right arm. Ember Celica slid over her hand with a click. "Icy-Hot, if this goes wrong, you're buying me a new bike."
"I'll keep that in mind!" Sable created a ramp of white glyphs before jumping clear of the bike at the last moment. Bumblebee zoomed up the ramp. Several hundred pounds of ice, metal and teenage girl rammed the Paladin's back at many times the posted speed limit. The robot staggered under the heavy impact, lost balance, and fell on its face for a second time; a motorcycle-sized section of its back plating had caved in. The force of the impact had been enough to trigger Yang's Semblance, and the red-eyed Huntress now stood in the hole, doing her best to excavate it with her fists. Sable landed in the road, sword scraping up sparks against the asphalt. A sheet of ice formed under the fallen Paladin as it struggled to get back up; the students were treated to the sight of the giant robot flailing around like a novice ice skater. The mech's thrashing left arm knocked into Bumblebee, throwing the riderless bike over the side of the bridge. Yang cried out in anguish, only for a white snowflake to appear in mid-air, bouncing her precious baby back to safety. "Thanks!" She gave her leader a quick thumbs-up and went back to pounding on the Paladin. Man, it would've sucked to lose Bumblebee in some river.
"You're...welcome..." Sable gasped. Whether from exhaustion after spamming so many glyphs or relief at not having to shell out for a new motorcycle was unclear. "Hey, don't just watch! Hit him while he's down!"
"On it!" Ruby yelled. "Nora, let's break its legs!" That seemed like a pretty solid strategy, assuming they could hit hard enough. She'd feel more confident if only Nora could get her power-up. It was a real shame Neptune had been taken out so early. And that their team's walking Dust dispensary wasn't here—wait a minute! "Sable! Zap her!" For once, the prickly boy went along without complaint, blasting a stream of lightning Dust into Nora's chest.
"Thanks, substitute Weiss!" Laughing like a madwoman, Nora raised Magnhild over her head. Another round of Petal to the Metal went for the Paladin's right leg, and this time its knee made a wonderful splintering sound, before turning to a thousand bits of shrapnel. Two supercharged Huntresses mercilessly beat on the poor Paladin; chunks of broken metal flew everywhere. "Guess this thing's on it's last leg, huh?" Yang remarked, to general groans.
Of course, the Paladin also had one arm left. Mustering the last of his strength, Torchwick hooked the left arm onto the bridge railing, and with a desperate heave, hurled himself over the edge. "What the—!" Yang and Nora leapt back to safety. "No!" Ruby cried. The five of them rushed to the railing. "Torchwick—Roman! Choose life!" The wrecked Paladin was half-submerged in the waves. An orange-haired figure in a white coat floated beside it, face down. "Oh gods! I'm a killer!"
"Justifiable homicide!" said Sable. "But how? That fall's easily survivable! It's only a hundred feet!"
Blake narrowed her eyes. "Something's not right. He should be drifting downstream, but see, he's not moving..."
"You got experience with bodies in the water, Blake?" Yang asked. Blake raised Gambol Shroud and fired a shot at Torchwick's apparent corpse. "What the hell!" Before she could scold her partner for disrespecting the dead, the 'corpse' shattered like a mirror and vanished. "...what the hell?"
"Uh, guys? Behind us!" Nora called. A Bullhead flew away from the bridge, rising rapidly into the air. The thief stood in the doorway, alive and well, his pink-and-brown minion at his side. Cursing, Sable launched a fireball their way, which the girl casually blocked with her parasol. "Don't be so salty, kid!" Torchwick taunted, cupping his hands over his mouth. "Remember this as the day you almost caught Roman Torchwick!"
Suddenly, a lone figure fell from the sky like a shooting star, descending upon the two criminals with a mighty battle cry...and proceeded to faceplant onto the top the Bullhead, a good ten feet off the mark. The would-be hero tumbled down the side and barely managed to grab onto a wing, dangling there precariously.
"Jaune!" Ruby's jaw dropped. "Where did he come from? And what have you guys been teaching him?!"
"Nothing like that!" said Sable. "JUMP, YOU IDIOT!"
In hindsight, trying to jump out of a high-speed rocket locker and hit a flying target hadn't been Jaune's best idea. The top of a Bullhead was a lot smaller than he'd thought, and annoyingly non-flat. So far, Operation Prove-Your-Combat-Worthiness was not going well. He was uncomfortably aware of smooth and slippery the ship's wing was. Geez, it was a long way down, and getting longer...the churning feeling in his stomach grew stronger.
"Fancy seeing you here, Noodle!" Roman Torchwick said jovially. He was standing in the door below where Jaune dangled, aiming his cane up. The mysterious pink-and-brown girl offered a friendly wave, and a not-so-friendly smile. Torchwick looked sweaty and disheveled; whatever had happened earlier must've taken a lot out of him. "You know, I thought someone was missing. Interesting entrance, but I don't think you've thought your cunning plan through." Did this guy like hearing himself talk, or what? "I'm feeling generous, kid, so I'll give you a choice. Either let go or—"
Jaune concentrated and, for lack of a better word, relaxed his stomach. All the nausea from the locker flight and the moving Bullhead bubbled up to the surface at once. He opened his mouth, and as promised, aimed at the enemy. The fires of hell poured from his throat, straight and true as a bullet from Crescent Rose. Unfortunately for him, Torchwick had been looking up, and caught a faceful of Arc bile. "AAAAHH!" He realized too late what a horrible mistake opening his mouth to scream was. Pink-and-brown backed away, looking disgusted. Retching, Torchwick collapsed back into the Bullhead, firing a wild shot from his cane. The flare missed Jaune and continued down the length of the wing, where the Bullhead's port (or was it starboard?) engine sucked it in. A gout of flame, and the entire ship tilted hard to port (or was it starboard?). Torchwick rolled out the door and into thin air, bowler hat drifting down after him. Jaune caught a glimpse of Pink-and-Brown's gobsmacked expression before he, too, lost his grip.
"AAAAHH!" He was falling to his death. Again. This was becoming way too familiar. He was over the river, so nothing to snag his weapon against. Maybe he could hit the water shield-first; wasn't breaking the water tension supposed to soften the impact? Before he could think more about his landing strategy, something smacked Jaune on the rear end and sent him flying sideways. Gods, it really was initiation all over again. Luckily, he did not slam face-first into a tree this time, but instead hit a giant white snowflake. He bounced from glyph to glyph like a pinball, getting slower every time, until he plopped gently onto the ground. "My hero!" Jaune kissed Remnant's dirt gratefully. At that moment, the mud and grass of the riverbank tasted sweeter than any candy.
"You are so dumb." Weiss Schnee hopped down from the last glyph, blue eyes glaring at him. A tower of snowflakes stretched high into the air above them; it looked as though the weather had glitched and dropped a summer blizzard onto Vale. Man, having a Semblance must be so nice.
"You...you came after me?" Jaune gasped.
"What else was I going to do?" Weiss shouted. "Someone had to keep you alive!"
Something flashed green in the corner of his vision, and there was the familiar sound of an airship exploding. Neat, Penny had made it after all. It was a bit sad how quickly he'd gotten used to that. He spotted the Bullhead-slaying girl in question on the bridge, next to her 'best friend'. Scarlet was slumped against a railing further along. Neptune had somehow wound up at the bottom of the bridge, wet and shivering. Ruby, Nora, and the rest of his team were all together. He could make out Sable angrily pointing and shouting, even from this distance.
Crap. He was going to be in so much trouble.
Roman sank to the bottom of the Vale River. He was half tempted to stay there, just to get that taste out of his mouth. There was a muffled explosion above, and a minute later airship parts started raining down. Well, the animals had proved as useful as ever. Just when he thought he was home free, the real world decided otherwise. It always did. The real world was a cold and cruel place, that didn't care about charm and manners and great fashion sense. Screw Cinder for forcing him into this, screw the White Fang for letting those kids sneak in, screw that merry little band of wannabe heroes, and screw Vomit Boy in particular. What was the point? They all died in the end; humans and faunus, heroes and villains, Huntsmen and terrorists and criminals alike. But no, he would survive. So what if he'd lost his hat, his dignity, and his beautiful giant robot he'd barely gotten to know...Roman held back a sob.
Neo interrupted his moment of self-pity by splashing into the water next to him, a pout on her face. Perfect timing. They clasped hands, and hidden under the river, their bodies transformed. The children on the bridge took no notice of two oddly shaped pieces of debris that drifted beneath them, and floated out to sea.
Holy crap. Why did I try writing an action sequence with 16 characters, again? Oh right, because I enjoy pain. I'm sure there are bits that don't make sense when you think about it, but it's done. Whatever, it's RWBY...given a choice between Logic and Ridiculous Fighty Stuff, Ridiculous Fighty Stuff wins.
I'll admit, the river was there mostly so Neptune could fall in it. Not trying to bully the guy, but when your personality is 'cool dude with a ludicrous phobia' the jokes kind of write themselves.