Sorry for the late update. This month has been insane and this chapter is ridiculously long. I've been having to balance a rather demanding social life as of late, and while I love my friends, it makes writing hard. Thank you for your patience.
Please enjoy.
Chapter Eleven
Two Weeks Later
Mokuba had invited Jonouchi to the Kaiba Mansion again. Jonouchi was a little concerned that he'd run into Kaiba there, since it was the weekend, and he and Mokuba were currently playing a kind of wild version of hide-and-seek. It was a skewed game of hide-and-seek, mostly because Mokuba knew the house by heart, whereas Jonouchi had no clue as to where to go and mostly ended up lost. Mokuba had claimed it would just help him hide better. Jonouchi respectfully disagreed.
Wandering through the maze of a house, Jonouchi tried navigating using just the old Victorian decor as landmarks. It wasn't very helpful. He never ended up going back the same way twice, the place was so huge, and so many rooms opened with archways that he didn't know he was in a room until he found it was a dead end. He got dazed and frustrated, seeing no sign of Mokuba for a good twenty minutes. Eventually, he just looked for somewhere that looked fairly small and comfortable where he could hole up until the kid got worried about him.
He ducked into what looked like an office, a room that was more cluttered from use rather than poor decorative choices. Mentally exhausted, Jonouchi shut the door behind him. If Mokuba wondered where he was, he could always text directions. Jonouchi was starting to feel agoraphobic in the mansion. Maybe he needed some time to get over it.
"What are you doing in here?" said a deep voice. Jonouchi turned sharply, suddenly realizing that Kaiba was in the room, ducking from underneath a desk before giving him a cross glare.
"Oh, great," Jonouchi grumbled, grabbing for the door handle, "Don't bother hissing at me, I'm leaving."
Or, so he thought. The door handle had disappeared into the metal panel to which it was attached. Now there was just a circle flushed to the rectangular surface where it once sticked out. There wasn't even a keyhole that he could see. What exactly was he supposed to do with that? Had the thing broken off? Had it fallen off on the other side and slid inward?
Jonouchi tried pushing on it to see if it would jiggle. It was firm. Kaiba apparently had one of those fancy high-security door knobs...
"You gonna let me out?" Jonouchi demanded, glancing at Kaiba, frustrated.
Kaiba sighed loudly before rolling his eyes.
"I was trying to fix the damn thing, you idiot," he said, rushing over to the door and knocking Jonouchi over to the side with his shoulders in the process. "You trapped us. Wonderful. Someone's going to have to fix this from the outside, and the only person who has the authority to do it is Isono. Idiot..."
"I'm an idiot?" Jonouchi exclaimed excitedly. "You're the one who paid for a security door knob that doesn't work!" Jonouchi retorted. It wasn't as if he knew it was going to happen. Kaiba should have told Mokuba to stay out of that part of the house if he didn't want them wandering over there.
Mokuba couldn't possibly had done it on purpose. He wasn't that malicious, was he?
"If Isono could fix it from the outside, why were you even in here standing behind the door?" Jonouchi questioned. "You didn't even put the doorstop down to keep it open."
"Because most people have more sense than to just go waltzing into my private office," replied Kaiba, now resting on his desk, appearing to sulk, "I didn't need Isono's help. I had it almost working, the damn thing locks from the inside because Mokuba thought it would be a cute prank to play on me, and you triggered it. Good job there, dummy."
Jonouchi folded his arms, huffing. Mokuba was cruising for a bruising, in Jonouchi's opinion, but it wasn't his place to discipline him. Hopefully Kaiba would do it and not just let Mokuba have his way, as usual.
"I didn't know it was your office, Kaiba. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it. Blame Mokuba for getting me stuck with you..."
Kaiba didn't appear to be listening to a word Jonouchi was saying. His apparent calm seemed ruined.
Jonouchi didn't speak, settling for packing himself into an overstuffed leather armchair. He was immensely frustrated. Still pissed at Kaiba over the last argument they'd had, and he'd wanted to avoid him entirely that day. Why did this happen? He couldn't even completely blame his own stupidity. How was he supposed to know the door would lock? Jonouchi had just wanted a break.
Hadn't Mokuba been the reason he was wandering around lost, anyway? He was also the reason the door didn't work. Somehow the little monster had screwed everyone over that day but himself.
Jonouchi could feel himself becoming fidgety. He didn't want to touch anything because he figured it would just make Kaiba angrier, but at the same time, just sitting in the armchair was going to kill him with boredom. Who knew how long it would be until they got out?
"Kaiba," Jonouchi groaned, "can I watch TV? I'm bored."
"No."
"Then can I read one of your books?" asked Jonouchi gently, "or use the computer?"
"No and no... Go play on your phone or something."
Jonouchi sighed dramatically, kicking his foot out into space. "Can I at least turn on the radio? It's too quiet."
"Quiet is perfect, so get used to it. The radio is not turning on."
There was a few minutes of silence. Jonouchi moved in his chair again, hugging his legs before looking up at Kaiba. His head was on the top of his desk, nestled in his arms. Long brown hair covered his eyes and Jonouchi wondered if he was trying to take a nap or just that miserable with him being in the room.
"Kaiba? Are you okay?"
He got up from his chair and stood before the desk, moving Kaiba's hair out of his forehead hesitantly. When he observed Kaiba more closely, Jonouchi saw that he was relaxed, his eyes shut and lashes fanning out over his cheekbones.
It was incredible, the change in Kaiba's appearance when he was sleeping. His jaw wasn't so tight, and his lips weren't pinched in irritation. Kaiba actually had nice, full lips, in Jonouchi's opinion, at while resting. While he was awake, they were usually pressed into a firm line or curved into a cruel sort of smirk.
Jonouchi ended up just staring at Kaiba while he slept for a while. If only he was quiet and adorable all the time he thought briefly. But no, when he was conscious, Kaiba had to be a dick and verbally abuse everyone around him.
Jonouchi was just amazed that Kaiba was sleeping in his presence to begin with. He'd seen the man rest his eyes in public before, when he'd been awake for god-knew-how-long and was physically exhausted. But sleeping? Never. Certainly not as deeply as he seemed to be now. His eyelids didn't blink or shift, fingers still, his breathing steady.
The desk couldn't be that comfortable. Getting up and groaning a little, Kaiba moved over to the couch like a zombie, dumping himself face first before finding the pillow and covering his face with it.
"Hey, you're up," Jonouchi noted as Kaiba fell onto the couch. Maybe he wasn't all that awake just yet though.
Jonouchi received a grumble in reply as Kaiba moved onto his side, giving Jonouchi a good show of his leather-clad backside before throwing a pillow at his general direction.
"Right," Jonouchi didn't bother trying to stop his eyes from trailing over Kaiba's back and lower body, fully appreciating the way his pants hugged his figure. If Kaiba was going to respond like that, it was doubtful he was expecting not to be looked at. "I guess you just want to sleep, then."
Jonouchi kind of did too, but he was more physically exhausted than sleepy. He sat up fully awake while Kaiba returned to his nap until he lost interest in the infinite loop of cat videos on his phone and started looking for something else to do.
There wasn't really anything else to do. Well, there was, but he wasn't allowed to use anything. Fucking Kaiba. Don't touch my books, or my TV, or my computer, or my anything. It wasn't like Jonouchi was going to break his shit on purpose. At least a book would keep him quiet and preoccupied.
He stared at Kaiba. He looked like a large feline sleeping on the couch as he was, his body so completely relaxed that Jonouchi almost wondered if he was alive anymore. Kaiba was still breathing, however slowly. Jonouchi stood up and quietly approached. He was wearing house shoes, so his steps were almost completely silent.
It looked like he was still sleeping. It didn't seem logical that Kaiba would be that knocked out otherwise. He'd shifted a little at some point, and his hair had fallen over his face at the side. He occasionally wrinkled his nose as if it was bothering him, so Jonouchi tucked the loose strand behind his ear on impulse.
Fortunately, Kaiba didn't wake up when that happened. Jonouchi was free to observe his face for a moment. No one had a right to look that pretty when they were sleeping, honestly. Up close, Kaiba's features became noticeable in different ways. He had high cheekbones. His skin was flawless and very fair like the rest of his features, aside from what looked like very small, faded freckles across the bridge of his nose. Jonouchi found that hilarious and resolved that he'd bring the spots up sometime when he was at a distance. Just to make Kaiba self-conscious.
His nose was pretty damn pointy. Not unattractively so, but it certainly showed his mixed blood more than his almond-shaped eyes and long, narrow face. Jonouchi never really took note of it from the front, but from the side, it was much more evident.
"You're pretty good looking when you aren't busy being nasty," Jonouchi mused, knowing that Kaiba couldn't hear him and saying so wouldn't result in trouble. It wasn't like he could say that shit to him while he was awake. "Much as it gets on my nerves, I would probably let you fuck me if you were interested. I wouldn't even ask for anything in return."
He snorted at the self-depreciative humor and watched Kaiba quietly for a few more seconds. Jonouchi hated it; he just looked so much more amiable and softwhen he was sleeping. Not like the hardened and usually hateful face Jonouchi saw when he was awake.
"More than that, though, I wish you would just like me. As a friend, or even just as a person. I know you 'don't like' anyone, but it still stings. I don't know if I'm angrier at you for being such an asshole, or at me for having any hope for you."
It was true that there was someone for everyone, in whatever sense, but Jonouchi didn't want to be a punching bag for Kaiba forever just so he might someday stop being so bitter. Jonouchi didn't want to be that selfless.
"I can't get you out of my fucking head, though." Jonouchi admitted, more to himself than Kaiba, "II was having sex with my boyfriend-that's right, Kaiba, I'm not a fucking prostitute-and I still couldn't stop thinking about you. I thought about the shit you say to me, and I even had this ridiculous dream..."
He stopped himself. The sex he'd had with Kitamura that night hadn't even been bad, except for possibly being let down at the end. It wasn't as good as the wet dream, but it made sense that his head would make things better than real life.
But why did it have to be Kaiba? Of all people... fuck, at least if it had been someone like Yugi, Jonouchi could just be embarrassed and get over it the next day. But no. It was Kaiba, who he kind of maybe was attracted to.
A lot.
"I just really want you to like me," Jonouchi said, running his fingers through Kaiba's hair before catching himself. It was thick and heavy. It reminded Jonouchi a little of his own. "But I know you never will. That hurts, a lot. I wish I could blame you for it, but my stupid feelings aren't your responsibility, right?"
Jonouchi laughed dryly. It wasn't Kaiba's fault that his stupid ass kept trying. He should have done like everyone else and just left Kaiba to be miserable alone ages ago. Didn't Kaiba tell him to all the time? Always wanting to be left alone...
"Fuck. Now I feel responsible for you, you know that? Because I know we're more personal than you admit. It's been like that for years. I don't want to just ditch and leave you even more bitter than you already are. Maybe if I just stick around, you'll get better. I don't know. But I'd rather deal with your bullshit than abandon you.
"Maybe I could if I didn't know you were a fucking alcoholic. Someone who's happy alone doesn't drink into a stupor to feel better. I should know... I'm never going to forget about that, and you can just get over it. I know you're depressed, and you sure as hell don't like being alone. You're just a coward and won't let anyone close to you."
How Kaiba was still asleep, he didn't know. Jonouchi was still stroking his hair almost without thinking about it. He sure as hell wouldn't have slept through someone touching his head. Maybe that was from living how he did, though.
"I don't know, Kaiba. I'm not Yugi. Being a punching bag for someone just because they're my friend doesn't come easily to me. I'm not sure why I still hang around, honestly, but I guess I'll just have to keep trying..."
He trailed off and sighed, staring at Kaiba a little dazedly as he sat there on the edge of the couch cushion. Thank god Kaiba was asleep. If he'd said any of that while he was conscious, there would have been nothing but trouble. Kaiba would have been more than pissed. He would have been offended.
Kaiba started wrinkling his nose, snorting once before batting his nose with his hand and rolling around until he was facing towards the desk, not opening his eyes yet. Jonouchi was looking down at him, his eyes really intense and full of emotion.
"What are you doing?" Kaiba suddenly asked, his face getting progressively tense, "Were you watching me sleep?"
"Uh-" Jonouchi had withdrawn his hand after Kaiba smacked it away, and was hoping he didn't know what had been going on, "Well, there was nothing else to do, so..."
He trailed off. He didn't really have an excuse. How fucked up was he, spilling his guts to Kaiba while he was asleep? He'd needed to get it off his chest, that was true, but that wasn't really the best way to do it. He just didn't want to deal with Kaiba's reaction if he'd really told him all that. Kaiba didn't need that kind of ammunition against him.
"You're more amiable when you're asleep," Jonouchi smiled timidly, trying to make his nervousness go away. He was still sitting at the edge of the couch cushion, and he stood so he'd be out of Kaiba's personal space. "I was just enjoying it while it lasted. Sorry if I freaked you out."
"... Weird."
Kaiba turned around and fixed his hair, appearing almost flustered over it. Then his eyes enlarged.
"Were you touching my hair?" he asked, looking back at Jonouchi with a scandalized expression, "what made you think that would be all right? You can't just go around touching people because you're bored."
"I said I'm sorry," Jonouchi was turned the other way now, trying to shuffle back to his chair and hide behind his phone. He didn't want Kaiba mad at him, and he didn't want to show his face for fear that he was an open book. He could tell that Kaiba detected something was off, and Jonouchi didn't want him to get to the bottom of it. Heaven forbid.
He curled up in the armchair, his posture so awful that his head was hidden behind his knees. Eyes glued to his phone even though he wasn't really looking at anything, Jonouchi just hoped Kaiba would lose interest if he was submissive enough.
But it didn't exactly work. Kaiba was staring at him.
"I know you're not actually playing on that thing," commented Kaiba, sitting up and preening his hair. "What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me," Jonouchi felt his face heating up. Fuck his life. "I shouldn't have acted like a creep."
He couldn't look at Kaiba. He felt too embarrassed, and a little ashamed. Now he probably just thought he was a pervert.
"Liar. Something's up with you, and you're just too afraid to tell me. Whatever. You can watch the damn tv if you'd like."
"I don't even want to anymore," Jonouchi muttered pitifully to himself. He just felt embarrassed. Too on the spot to move. Now he felt like anything he did would somehow alert Kaiba to everything he'd been saying while he was asleep.
"What if we play a game instead?" offered Kaiba, "I have cards. Not duel monster cards, but I'm sure you at least know how to play war or something like that," he offered, going into his desk drawer to get the pack. "Stop being a downer and just play one game against me."
Jonouchi made a face somewhere between bewilderment and suspicion at Kaiba. He wasn't sure what to make of this. Either Kaiba was fucking with him, or he was too bored to be mean. Jonouchi decided that taking him up on his offer would be better than sitting in the armchair afraid to breathe for a few more hours.
"Fine," he wasn't sure where they'd be playing. There was a coffee table in front of the couch that seemed promising. He knelt in front of it when he saw Kaiba approach it with the playing deck in hand. "I figured war would be too boring a game for you."
Kaiba was being alarmingly kind, actually. Maybe he was trying to lull him into a false sense of security? Or maybe it was genuine. Or maybe, more likely, he was in a good mood after his nap. Who was to know? Jonouchi certainly couldn't fathom what had inspired it, and certainly couldn't figure out why Kaiba would sit down to play war of all things, rather than micromanaging his employees.
He wasn't angry, at least. Or, he didn't seem it. Jonouchi could tell he was still curious because his eyes kept darting to him intermittently, but Jonouchi tried not to respond to it. Of course, by trying to act casual, he probably only looked more guilty, but at least Kaiba wasn't trying to pry information out of him yet.
"Sometimes I like simple games," Kaiba said, cutting the deck and shuffling the cards before crossing his long legs and resting against the front of the couch to get more comfortable, " I also figured I shouldn't overload your brain, either."
He started splitting the deck, half and half, before making his own pile neat and flipping the first card. It was a five of hearts, and he waited patiently for Jonouchi to wake up and flip his card.
"Are you going to play or what?"
"Yeah, sure," Jonouchi replied, still a little dazed. He flipped his card, which was a three of spades. Not what he'd needed to win that round, but they had the whole deck left to go through. "And what do you mean, overload my brain? I don't know if I should be touched by your concern, or a little offended."
He was comfortable with Kaiba picking at him, though. It reminded him of rare occasions in the past when he'd been in a good mood. When their banter had been more from habit than actual fighting. That had been after Jonouchi spent a while in a coma, though, so maybe it had just been Kaiba cutting him a break. It certainly didn't seem to have much bearing on the present. Mostly. Kaiba was too goddamn confusing.
"Think whichever you'd like."
Kaiba snatched both cards and added them to the bottom of his deck before flipping the next top card. Jonouchi's breath caught. Jack of diamonds. Kaiba grinned.
Then he grinned even wider when Jonouchi just came up with a ten of hearts, taking the card and giving him a sly look before continuing with the game. Jonouchi wrinkled his nose and made a face at Kaiba before flipping his next card. He managed to flip a queen of clubs, and if Kaiba beat that, well...he'd have to figure out how the bastard had stolen his luck. Hopefully Jonouchi hadn't accidentally given it to him.
"Beat that, smart one," he stuck his tongue out immaturely. He couldn't help it. Kaiba was smirking far too excitedly for his liking.
"Tch."
He played a two of spades.
"So," Kaiba asked, appearing perfectly nonchalant, "when are you going to man up and admit you're the one who's crushing over me? It's not like you're hiding anything or saving face."
"What-" Jonouchi spluttered. He'd thought (or, rather, hoped) that the subject wouldn't come up again. Or at least hoped that Kaiba wouldn't be so damn forceful about it. He could have found a more subtle way to discuss it, surely. "Why would I admit to something like that? And why are you asking?"
Jonouchi stared at the table, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. He felt so exposed. 'Crushing' wasn't the word he would use. Yes, he liked Kaiba personally. He cared for him. He thought he was pretty fucking attractive, which they'd established. But crushing? No. He didn't want to be with Kaiba. Why would he hurt himself like that? It was bad enough trying to be his friend, or even just a close or marginally trusted acquaintance. Kaiba was bitter and hurtful more often than not. Hardly relationship material.
"Because I can tell and I wasn't just born yesterday, even if I'm a virgin still. You can stop being all scandalized over it. I'm not even upset."
"Why do you even care?" Jonouchi demanded before he could stop himself. He probably shouldn't have asked. God only knew how Kaiba would take it. Still, maybe it would get him to stop messing with him. No, of course it wouldn't. This was Kaiba, after all. "It doesn't even matter. If I did have a crush on you, it wouldn't make any difference, so let's just not talk about it."
"Then you're not denying it? You're just going to leave me in the dark and hope I don't figure it out when you've been giving rather obvious signals these past few days? Right."
He rolled his eyes, continuing with the game.
"You were trying to deflect it on me two weeks ago, saying I liked you. That's enough for me, and I don't see why you won't just admit it already. I'm not going to pick on you over something so juvenile."
"I only said that to bug you, Kaiba, get off it already," Jonouchi glared at him, "I don't have a crush on you. Even I wouldn't do something that stupid."
Yes, he would. He knew he would. Only he would do something that stupid, really. Who else would form any kind of affectionate attachment to someone like Kaiba? Someone who, for all intents and purposes, got off on making him mad. All this while Jonouchi was in a relationship already.
He returned to staring at the table dejectedly. Jonouchi didn't care if Kaiba was mad or not. He was mad. He was mad at himself mostly, but Kaiba wasn't a bad target for his anger, either.
Why couldn't he just drop it?
"I know it's all probably funny to you, but it's not to me. So stop."
"I'm not laughing," replied Kaiba cooly, looking up at Jonouchi through his long eyelashes, "and now you're getting all worked up over it. Relax, I'm not even going to tell Mokuba about it. No one cares, don't have a cow."
Jonouchi stopped himself before he could retort with "I care", thankfully. He continued to glare at the coffee table quietly. It almost bothered him that Kaiba was so calm. So Jonouchi crushing on him was just honkey-dorey, but if he wanted to, say, be his fucking friend...
No, it didn't come as much of a consolation that Kaiba wasn't angry. Jonouchi almost wished he was. At least then maybe he'd wake up enough to finally stop caring at all. He refused to acknowledge having anything like a crush on Kaiba. Kaiba didn't deserve that from him. Kaiba didn't deserve to know something like that about him.
He was immensely frustrated, and wanted to storm out, but that was impossible due to the door being irreversibly shut.
Kaiba sighed, playing another card and watching Jonouchi not do anything about it. He was just staring at the table feeling bad for himself, and Kaiba felt like quitting. It was a waste of time. Playing against himself wasn't entertaining, and if Jonouchi planned on just shutting him out until they were freed, well, he could just sit at his computer and work then. It would be a better use of his time.
Jonouchi noticed that Kaiba had set another card on the table, even though he hadn't played one. He was still trying to carry on the game, despite the conversation they'd just had. It only served to make Jonouchi more frustrated that Kaiba was being so unbearably aloof about the whole thing, even though that should have been a relief to him. He gave in and slapped two more cards of his own to 'battle' Kaiba's when he heard the man sigh.
"We might be stuck here overnight," Kaiba muttered, "It's nearly dinner time, and Isono messaged me that he's stuck in traffic still. Can your stomach hold out until tomorrow?"
Kaiba looked at his phone before frowning and tossing it back on the couch. He seemed to be waiting for some sort of answer. Jonouchi was lost in thought, zoning out as Kaiba cleared his throat loudly.
"I'm trying to be civil."
"Yeah, I know," Jonouchi sighed. Kaiba was trying so hard that it was difficult to stay angry, but his chest still burned. He wished he could stay pissed. At least it would take his mind off of the all-consuming embarrassment. "I'll be fine. I know how to sleep hungry."
That hadn't sounded nearly so pathetic in his head. Then again, to him, that wasn't a big deal. It was only recently that he had the guarantee of three square meals a day, and before then, it had been touch-and-go. Everything depended on what hours he got at work, and if they were anything less than the maximum for full time, then he couldn't eat three meals every day. Something had to be sacrificed in the interest of rent, and that was it.
It had been a while, though. Sleeping hungry was going to be uncomfortable. But he was tired; he'd pass out soon enough if he tried.
"Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow to eat," he corrected himself.
"Right... Do you want to finish this game or not?" asked Kaiba. "I know I'm not going to fall asleep for a long time," he continued. "I can't sleep at night. Whatever I got from that nap will probably be all I'll be getting tonight... You can have the couch."
"Um, you don't have to do that," Jonouchi looked up finally, meeting Kaiba's eyes, "I can sleep pretty much anywhere. Why can't you sleep at night?"
He'd heard legends of Kaiba not sleeping in favor of staying up to work, back when the company was in a lot of trouble. Now that probably wasn't as necessary. Maybe his body had grown accustomed, or he was just plagued by insomnia. Jonouchi played another card since Kaiba had mentioned the game. He didn't even care about it though anymore...
"Are you stressed?" blurted Jonouchi.
"No. I'm just terrible at shutting my brain down at night. I don't ever stay asleep."
He played another card, but lost to Jonouchi's queen of hearts. Well, that figured. His winning streak was falling apart, and he watched as he lost his nine of clubs to him, frowning a little. Kaiba never liked losing.
"I've always had that problem though. It's nothing new."
"Huh," Jonouchi muttered, flipping another card. Seven of spades. "I'd probably just give up if I couldn't sleep. On top of everything else, I don't need that bullshit. I'd be too tired to function."
He'd tried working at the soba restaurant while sleep deprived in the past. It hadn't been good. He'd had the shakes all day, orders had gone in one ear and out the other, and he'd dropped so many bowls that eventually his manager had banished him to dishwashing for the rest of the day.
"You slept just fine a little while ago. Until I woke you up, anyway."
Ugh, he felt so stupid. He probably would have run for the hills when Kaiba woke up, if it had been possible at all. As it were, it looked like they'd be stuck in this room together all night, and Jonouchi felt a flash of guilt when he wondered if Kaiba was just cautious about sleeping around him again.
"I only manage some three hours a night at a time," Kaiba continued quietly, "sometimes five if I'm lucky. It's not something you can do anything about, and medication doesn't really help. Drinking sometimes does, occasionally.
"But it just leaves a bad hangover in the morning, which is just as crappy as not sleeping at all."
Jonouchi noticed that Kaiba was tense, the vein in his neck protruding a little as he stared at the card he'd played. His eyes looked so cold that Jonouchi was a little hesitant to speak.
He looked haunted. It made Jonouchi a little anxious, actually. Why did they have to be stuck in this creepy old house in the middle of the night? Why not the hotel? Not Jonouchi's apartment, that might actually be worse. Real danger, as opposed to ghosts. Which was only real danger to Jonouchi, it seemed.
"What's wrong with you?" asked Jonouchi curiously.
"Nothing you need to worry about. Let's talk about something else," said Kaiba as he artfully changed the subject, "why you like my leather pants so much? Does that mean you were spying on me when I used to wear that jacket?"
"Pfft," Jonouchi snorted, "I just thought you looked good in it. It was cool and flashy, I won't lie. But frankly, I'm a little more interested in the way your ass looks in your pants."
Jonouchi was being blunt, but if Kaiba got creeped out, it served him right for asking at random. He was trying to change topics. Someone didn't just look that disturbed and then carried on tormenting their gay friend like it was nothing.
"So, yeah. That's why I like them. Shows off your ass."
"Whatever."
"You asked, big guy," Jonouchi snickered. Finally he had the upper hand, it seemed, in both the conversation and the game. "What were you expecting? You look hot in leather, it's not like I was planning to deny it."
"I didn't know it was my ass that you were after," he remarked, rolling his eyes and playing another card, "but whatever. I guess that's flattering."
"You guess?; Jonouchi laughed, feeling slightly insulted. "You have a nice ass. Got nice legs, too, but I didn't want to make you feel like a girl."
Kaiba was so uncomfortable looking. Jonouchi found it equal parts funny and upsetting that Kaiba wasn't okay with him mentioning his body. Wasn't he at least a little gay? Unless he wasn't gay and was just slutty. In which case... well, he probably wasn't much better than Kitamura. Less of a manwhore, but probably not great in bed.
"I'll quit picking on you. I can see that you aren't okay with it."
Kaiba snorted, rolling his eyes.
"Mokuba says I have eyes like one too, so that actually doesn't bother me too much," noted Kaiba quietly. "I look like my mother. I'd rather resemble her than my father. He wasn't nearly as attractive looking..."
"Figures you were lucky and got all the pretty genes," Jonouchi scoffed, "Mokuba is right, though. You've got big blue eyes and your eyelashes are like some shit out of a magazine, I swear."
He lost the next round, but wasn't bothered by it, even when Kaiba hummed in self-satisfaction. Let him have his little ego boost.
"Maybe your eyes would be even nicer if you weren't glaring at people all the time though," suggested Jonouchi. "I kind of like the way they look when you're in a good mood."
"Most people do," muttered Kaiba, "but I can't help my moods. And quite frankly, I don't want people liking me over my eyes. either."
"Well, I'm not ;most people'," Jonouchi replied a bit more sternly than was necessary. He took a breath before continuing. "I like you for more than your eyes, and if you don't know that by now, I don't even know what to do with you. I'm just saying... you look better when you're not being an ice sculpture."
He doubted Kaiba would take that well, but whatever. Jonouchi didn't feel right if he didn't try to correct him once in a while. It wasn't like Kaiba had anyone around to nag at him. Mokuba might do it occasionally, but Jonouchi doubted it was often. Kaiba wasn't going to stop disliking him anytime soon as it was, so he wasn't losing anything by being critical.
"Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself," smirked Kaiba, "I already said I knew you liked me. Now you've just admitted it, more or less."
"I didn't mean it like that," Jonouchi rolled his eyes, frustrated, "Stop harping on it. I don't have a crush on you. You're just trying to give yourself an ego trip."
"Then don't look at me all sad eyed while I'm sleeping," teased Kaiba, "You were all longing and crap. I don't even know what that was exactly, but it certainly wasn't platonic. Men don't just look at each other like that, Jonouchi. You know that."
He moved closer, leaning over the cards and taking one of Jonouchi's before flipping it, and then his. It was a Jack of clubs, not quite strong enough to beat Kaiba's Ace of spades, and he took both cards and added them to his deck before looking back up at Jonouchi and smirking.
"I feel like there's a lot you're not telling me right now."
Jonouchi scoffed and looked away. Usually he wouldn't complain about Kaiba getting into his personal space, but right now he felt like he was just getting toyed with. He wasn't in the mood for it.
"Yeah, and I've got damn good reasons for it," he huffed, his nostrils flaring. He felt examined, and exposed, moreover. "What, so just because I care about you, you think I have a crush? No one's ever cared about you before, Kaiba?"
Of course, if Kaiba said no to that, it would be disregarding Mokuba. But if he said yes, then Jonouchi would be made at least a little bit right. Hopefully.
"My feelings are my business. I don't have some fucking infatuation with you, all right? Yeah, I care about you because I consider you a friend, and I'd fuck around with you in a heartbeat if you were interested. But I'm not going to start pining for your affection any time soon," declared Jonouchi defiantly.
Not that he'd be upset if he had Kaiba's affection. That would just be beyond strange. Jonouchi would be satisfied with just some respect, or maybe mutual consideration. Something that reflected the way he felt, rather than the little bits of decency between giant chunks of ugliness.
"You're going to think whatever suits you, as usual, but don't keep throwing it in my face," demanded Jonouchi with a frown. "It's insulting."
"Very few people care about me," Kaiba remarked, not looking away and ignoring Jonouchi's anger. "And no one looks at me like you did. No one. So don't try feeding me some bullshit because now you're all embarrassed or whatever. I just don't appreciate being lied to.
"Also, I'm not trying to insult you, Jonouchi. There's easier ways of doing that, if I wanted to."
Jonouchi picked up another card and played it. The number was low, and Kaiba beat it easily. He knew that he wasn't being much fun, but Jonouchi wasn't in the mood to be the entertainment for the evening.
"And if I were you," Kaiba said quietly with a smirk, "I'd want to fuck me, too."
"Oh, shut up," Jonouchi spat, but he felt more embarrassed than angry. Kaiba was having a field day, and it was getting to be too much for him. "Why do you insist on torturing me? This doesn't even matter to you."
"It doesn't not matter to me," Kaiba offered, "or else I wouldn't still be talking about it."
Jonouchi stared at Kaiba, trying to figure out what he'd meant by that. Assuming he meant it at all. There was always the chance that he was just trying to fuck with him again.
"Yeah, sure. So no one looks at you like I do," Jonouchi muttered darkly. "What does that mean to you? If you cared at all about sentiment, you wouldn't treat me the way you do. Somehow, I'm not convinced that knowing I care is going to change anything."
"Well, I'm not yelling in your face calling you animal names right now, am I? I'm trying to be civil," responded Kaiba back calmly.
"You're not being civil. You're just in a good mood because you've found yet another way to make me feel bad," Jonouchi accused. Much as it was nice to think Kaiba meant well by it, he was hesitant to believe it.
"You're just being difficult," Kaiba sighed, dropping his hand on the table. "Forget it then."
"I've been trying to!" Jonouchi shouted, throwing his hands in the air as cards scattered around him. Kaiba didn't do much but flinch a little in response. "This whole time I've been trying to just not talk about this, but you can't pass up a chance to screw with me!"
"If that was the case, I'd be ripping off your clothes right now. Get over it. I'm not some boogey man, and I'm not mind fucking you, Jonouchi."
Kaiba crossed his arms against his chest, resting on the back of the couch before focusing his gaze on Jonouchi directly.
"What exactly would you like from me?"
"Oh, I don't know, Kaiba," began Jonouchi dramatically. "How about a little respect?"
Jonouchi spat, so frustrated that he almost couldn't speak properly. His crude accent was sounding even more clearly than usual. "How about an interaction that doesn't involve you glaring at me like you found me under your boot? How about a conversation-just one conversation-that doesn't end with you trying to make me feel like shit for daring to be interested in you?"
He paused, panting for breath. He hadn't flown off the handle for a long time. It must have been over a year since the last time it had happened. Here he'd thought before that he was becoming an adult.
"Why do you have to hate me? Why can't we get along? I don't even want you to feel the way I do, Kaiba, but fuck. Do you have to use me for your cruel entertainment? Is that really necessary? Are my feelings that funny to you?"
Yeah, they probably were. The cruel part was his own mind was ridiculing him for it, even. Why shouldn't Kaiba?
Kaiba closed his eyes, shrugging nonchalantly.
"I don't understand them."
"What?" Jonouchi replied snappily. "How do you not understand? How many times do I have to explain to you before it gets through?"
"If I'm so awful to you," said Kaiba, looking away almost as if he was embarrassed, "then why do you bother? It's not like I'm looking for your attention, and you haven't left me alone since you ran into Mokuba at Burger World. It's like you won't let it go, and it's not my fault if you got attached to something you shouldn't have. You've known me longer than most people, so it doesn't make any logical sense why you'd do this."
Jonouchi huffed and turned his back on Kaiba, trying to calm himself down before he was reduced to just shouting incoherently. It didn't make any sense, but the fact that Kaiba was so chill about the whole thing only made him angrier.
"I know you don't care," Jonouchi muttered, "You're never going to care about what you do to people." He took a few breaths before turning around, looking Kaiba in the eyes.
"I didn't make you like me, Jonouchi," declared Kaiba.
"And I didn't make you start treating everyone like trash, but you still blame the world for not tolerating it," Jonouchi retorted, "Yeah, Kaiba, you're pretty damn awful. You can be so despicable, and half the time I'm so put off by you that I get mad just thinking about it.
"But you know what? As much as you hate it, you're still a good person inside, and I can see that. Every once in a fucking blue moon, I can see that when it counts the most, and that's why I keep hanging around. I know you don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself, so don't waste your breath telling me. I don't need your smug bullshit."
Kaiba didn't reply to any of that. He just gave up, getting off the floor and picking up his cards before putting them back in the drawer he'd found them in. Jonouchi watched Kaiba lie on the couch silently and snorted. That figured. Fine, let him sulk. Jonouchi didn't want anything to do with him anymore, anyways.
As he'd told himself multiple times in the past.
Dammit, what had he done to deserve this? Jonouchi returned to the armchair, but instead of sitting in it where he'd be facing Kaiba, he curled up in the corner behind it where he could feel unseen and stew. He wasn't even that mad anymore. He'd pretty much shouted all his anger away. Now he just felt hurt, as he had for a while...
As he usually did after talking to Kaiba at any given time.
Why couldn't that bastard just make up his mind? Either be all good or all bad. He didn't need to be mostly bad and just good enough that Jonouchi kept coming back. Maybe Kaiba hadn't made Jonouchi care, but that didn't excuse his behavior. The way he treated people was unacceptable.
Jonouchi sighed, resting his chin on his knees. What was he supposed to do? If it was at all possible, Kaiba probably just hated him more now. That was sad, too. Maybe if he'd heard all the things Jonouchi had said earlier to him while he slept, Kaiba wouldn't have become so upset. Maybe if Jonouchi had said them while Kaiba was awake instead of shouting angry words at him, they wouldn't be in this situation.
There was no point dwelling on it, though. It wouldn't make the situation any better. They were still trapped in this damned office together for the rest of the night, and it was still early.
He wasn't sure how much time passed while he was behind the armchair. He heard Kaiba breathing angrily, and the pattern eventually slowed a little to what seemed more like irritation. Maybe he'd lost the energy to stay enraged. Jonouchi certainly had. He was exhausted and so tired of fighting. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they just duked it out, but he had a feeling it would take a lot to push Kaiba to blows.
Jonouchi peeked out from behind the chair. Kaiba was still lying down, staring at the ceiling and brooding. What did he have to be upset about? Jonouchi was the one who was constantly getting stung.
"Kaiba," Jonouchi called quietly after he'd worked up the courage. No response. "Hey, Kaiba."
"What?"
Kaiba's eyes were piercing, his expression tense and unkind.
"...I'm sorry."
Jonouchi's pride welled up and insisted that Kaiba was the one who ought to be apologizing, after everything that had happened lately, but he stopped it. If he waited for Kaiba to apologize, there would never be any progress.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you," Jonouchi admitted. "That wasn't right of me."
"I'm unconcerned with it."
"Don't give me that," Jonouchi rolled his eyes, "if you didn't care, you wouldn't be sulking on the couch."
He got out from behind the armchair and sat with his back against a tall bookshelf. God, there were a lot of books.
"The couch is comfortable," Kaiba countered. "I prefer it here."
"But that proves my point wrong how? You just happened to choose a more comfortable place to sulk than I did," Jonouchi replied, wincing as he shifted. His ass was sore. It was becoming too frequent an occurrence for his liking.
"I'm not sulking," declared Kaiba, "I'm thinking. Stop picking at me, you already apologized, and it's over now."
He turned around showing his back again, appearing to sleep.
"You are too sulking. And no, it's not over now."
Jonouchi made his way across the floor to the couch on all fours. It wasn't a long way, and he didn't feel like standing.
"Do you know why it's not?" He didn't get an answer. That wasn't unusual with Kaiba. "Because you're still upset."
He knelt beside the couch, staring at the back of Kaiba's head. He'd made a royal mess of things. But could he say he regretted it? He wasn't so much sorry for finally telling Kaiba off as he was for making Kaiba feel bad. Kaiba couldn't expect to fuck around with his feelings forever and not get any backlash, could he? Well, maybe he could. He was the epitome of a self-entitled rich kid, in Jonouchi's mind.
"Kaiba, I was frustrated and said shit I shouldn't have. I wasn't very tactful."
"What do you want me to say back?" Kaiba asked, not looking at where he knew Jonouchi was kneeling. "I don't want to keep talking all night about this. Forget I even mentioned your little 'crush' tonight, I want to try and sleep."
"I wasn't mad because you mentioned it, Kaiba," Jonouchi muttered, "that's not it at all. Besides, I'm pretty sure that's gonna stay on my mind no matter what."
Kaiba was trying to sleep? Yeah, right. He said he had insomnia, and no one could sleep while they were sulking. Maybe while they were crying, but not during angry brooding.
"It's not the crush thing I was upset about. Still, it's not important," Jonouchi explained quietly, "I shouldn't have blown up at you about it, regardless. You've done a lot worse than tease me because you thought I had a crush. I probably should have chosen one of those times to yell at you instead," Jonouchi laughed dryly. It figured, the one time Kaiba decided to be almost friendly, Jonouchi got unbearably pissed off. He would have been less angry if he wasn't so ticked off, probably, but that was nothing new. Certainly, it was nothing that would have any bearing on Kaiba's conscience, so there was no point bringing it up.
"Will you just talk to me?" asked Jonouchi with a sigh. "I want to set this right between us, okay? It's better than brooding over it all night..."
"What do you want to talk about exactly then?" offered Kaiba.
He turned around so he was on his back, giving Jonouchi a sideways glance but not turning his head to look at him. When did he get so sensitive about other people's feelings. Jonouchi felt a little taken back. Maybe Kaiba was just humoring him.
Jonouchi folded his arms on the edge of the couch cushion and rested his chin on them, rolling his eyes up to look at Kaiba.
"I really do care about you, you know," Jonouchi stated. He heard Kaiba snort. "It's true. I don't know if I'd call it a crush, but I care. You can probably just imagine how much it sucks that you get such a kick out of fucking with my feelings."
He was trying to explain himself, but there really was no way to describe what was going on without sounding like he thought Kaiba was a dick. Because from Jonouchi's perspective, he was. But that didn't stop him from hanging around, did it? And it probably never would.
"I'll try not to be, then," spoke Kaiba quietly.
"Really?" Jonouchi blinked. He hadn't exactly expected Kaiba to concede. "I didn't think it mattered to you."
"I don't like being villainized. Get enough of that from people who don't even like me... So whatever. I'll just leave you alone then."
"Don't be so dramatic," Jonouchi scoffed, "I'm not 'villainizing' you. I've told you before, I don't think you're a bad guy. You're just really fuckin' mean sometimes. And I get that, you know, I'm not great either or anything. But still, I can only deal with it so much. I like hanging out with you, but you piss me off, too."
Not that that was Kaiba's fault, exactly, but it was his fault that he lashed out at people. At least, to an extent. It wasn't something he couldn't control if he tried.
"I'd like it if we could spend time together without the part where you hate me," explained Jonouchi.
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "I don't hate you. I haven't actually hated you for a long time. Now that's being overly dramatic."
"You seem to enjoy making me feel like crap," Jonouchi frowned, giving Kaiba a questioning gaze, "And it feels pretty hateful. Why do you do it, then?"
"Most people don't come back looking for more."
"That's not a reason!" Jonouchi gaped. Not that Kaiba had always been completely rational, but shit. That seemed excessive. "Did it occur to you that I kept coming back because I thought you were worth it?"
"No."
"Well, I did," Jonouchi huffed, "Even though you shit on me all the time, you're still nice in a way. I can tell you're still human, much as you try to hide it. I don't keep hanging out with you because I get off on the insults, that's for sure..."
He wasn't sure if Kaiba was just kind of stupid when he wasn't busy being a genius, or his head wasn't screwed on right. It was like he didn't understand basic social interaction. Or more likely, he knew basic social interaction but didn't care enough to follow the rules.
That seemed far more realistic.
"I know I annoy you and shit," spoke Jonouchi sourly, "but most the time I don't even know why."
"You're loud all the time and don't act appropriately in public. You remind me of the Americans," explained Kaiba with a frown. "You laugh too much and make dumb gestures and always express all your emotions on your face, constantly smiling at everyone, and it's obnoxious..."
"Obnoxious? I'm just trying to stay optimistic," Jonouchi replied, "And believe me, Kaiba, you're a lot easier to deal with if I just keep smiling."
Laughing off most of what Kaiba said and did made it much easier to cope with, at least in the moment. Maybe Kaiba would rather have him fly into a silent rage. Well, sucked for him. Jonouchi just wasn't emotionally repressed enough for it.
"I don't see why it gets on your nerves so much."
"It's bothersome," spoke Kaiba, "I'm not used to it."
"So because you aren't used to it, you try to make me leave by insulting me? That's kinda messed up."
"I wasn't looking to gain friends, Jonouchi. It's not my fault you don't take hints to leave well."
"Fucking with my emotions isn't a 'hint', asshole," snarled Jonouchi, "That's you acting like the bitchy popular girl in school when she's on her period. I'm not going to take that from you. Maybe you claim not to be looking for 'friends', but you wouldn't be so depressed all the time if you couldn't use one."
There were special kinds of people who were well-suited to being hermits, but the majority of humanity was not. Most people, even introverts, desired trusted companions to interact with. Kaiba's problem, in Jonouchi's opinion, was that he refused to trust anyone. Even the tiniest bit. Honestly, he didn't have to put his heart and soul on the line just to enjoy someone's company. He acted like a simple inquery after his well-being was intended to gather information to use against him.
Then again, he did that to everyone else, so maybe he anticipated the same.
"You know, I wasn't just staring at you like a creep while you were sleeping earlier," Jonouchi sighed, resting his eyes for a moment. He felt drained. And he was getting a little hungry, but it wasn't too bad.
"Then what exactly were you doing?"
"I was just talking to you," Jonouchi sighed again, closing his eyes before putting a hand into his bangs exhaustedly.
"Excuse me?" Kaiba blinked and the corner of his mouth twitched just slightly.
"Well," Jonouchi felt his face heating up, "You couldn't hear me, so... I talked to you. Told you shit that was on my mind, since you probably would have just laughed at me for it if you were awake to hear it."
Now the secret was out. Maybe at least it would put Kaiba's mind at ease, and get him off his stupid idea that Jonouchi was crushing on him. Honestly, how arrogant did he have to be to think that?
"Shit like what?" asked Kaiba. "Were you telling me sweet nothings about my eyes?" he joked, snickering to himself before looking at the ceiling again.
"Pfft, you wish," Jonouchi shot back, rolling his eyes dramatically, "It was nothing like that. I was just talking about shit that was on my mind. About you, obviously. I'm not gonna repeat it, it's too stupid. But yeah, I wasn't just sitting there being a giant pervert."
He didn't really want to repeat anything he'd said. Yelling a harsher version of it was easier than actually sitting down and being sincere about it. After all, when he'd done it before, it had resulted in Kaiba harassing him about having a crush, and the last thing Jonouchi wanted was to give Kaiba more ammunition. To give him actual insight about what he felt...
"I think about you a lot, you know" Jonouchi admitted aloud, "even when I don't want to."
"And why's that? Is my ass too hot for you to handle, or what?"
"No, you dick. I mean, your ass is hot. But that's not why you're on my mind."
Well, it was, in a way, but Jonouchi wasn't going to tell Kaiba about that. No, he didn't need to know about that. Good god, Jonouchi would never be allowed to live it down.
"It's because you're infuriating, but I still care about you," explained Jonouchi. "I think about you a lot, because you piss me off and then I think about it because I wonder why you do the things you do."
"Well, I'm starting to wonder if you're just one big giant masochist, if I piss you off that much and you still come back trying to "fix me" or whatever" challenged Kaiba. "How about you stop examining me already, Jonouchi? This is why I don't like talking to you. The guilt tripping and everything, it's getting old."
"Does it ever bother you, being such a twat all the time?" Jonouchi snapped. "I'm not trying to 'fix' you, Kaiba. You're too fucking stubborn to be fixed."
He sobered to avoid saying anything insulting. No need to start fighting again.
"I'm just trying to be your friend. Maybe someday you'll stop being bitter and depressed. If not, well, at least I know it wasn't my fault. Like hell if I'm gonna be that asshole."
"Fine..." sighed Kaiba, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms dramatically, "are we done yet?"
"You don't even want to listen to me when I'm trying to be open with you," Jonouchi growled in frustration, turning around and sitting with his back to the couch. He crossed his arms. "I'm trying to talk to you about shit, and instead of hearing what I say, you're having your little fit and trying to be upset because I'm not kissing your ass."
It really was better talking to him when he was asleep. He probably listened better while he was unconscious than when he could actually hear. Jonouchi huffed, feeling embarrassed and more than a little rejected. His own fault for trying to be sincere.
"It's late, I'm tired, and we've been going around in circles all night," directed Kaiba. "Nothing new is being said. I get it. I've fucked up. Can we drop it already?"
"Would it have killed you to say that instead of blowing me off?" Jonouchi retorted. "You're impossible, Kaiba. I really must be a fuckin' masochist..."
Jonouchi sighed and conceded anyway, looking for a decently-sized patch of floor to sleep on. There weren't any spare blankets in the room, so he'd just have to hope that it didn't get too cold in there at night.
After looking around a little, he decided to just lie down on the opposite end of the coffee table. He didn't want Kaiba to step on him when he got up in the morning. He was just lying down on his back when one of the couch pillows smacked him in the face.
"Hey," Jonouchi turned his head toward the couch and met eyes with Kaiba, "What was that for?"
"You forgot to take off my clothes this time, Jonouchi."
"You dick," Jonouchi snorted, "If you wanted my attention, you could have just called out my name."
Much as he wanted to avoid getting stepped on, he felt alone lying in the middle of the wooden floor. If he didn't know Kaiba would probably fuck him up for it, he'd move closer to the couch for the company. But he did his best to settle in on the floor, ignoring his stomach. Jonouchi couldn't seem to keep his eyes shut.
He gave up after some time had passed and sat up, looking toward the couch.
"...Hey, Kaiba?"
There was silence for a few minutes before a small sigh could be heard through the emptiness of the room.
"What is it this time? I don't have a blanket."
"Uh-" Jonouchi paused before he could ask what he'd planned to, and just crawled back over to the couch instead, pillow in hand. He lay down parallel to the couch, his head beside Kaiba's.
"I'm sleeping here instead."
"Afraid of the dark?" teased Kaiba, "there are no ghosts in the house, you know."
"Says you," Jonouchi muttered, "You actlike there is a ghost..."
The house creaked. Jonouchi stiffened a little.
"I'm not afraid of the dark. I just don't like big open spaces. I'd rather stay over here than in the middle of the floor."
"Pfft. You just want an excuse to be closer to me," snickered Kaiba. "Whatever."
"Sure," Jonouchi replied quietly, feeling a little bolder in the dark. "May as well enjoy it while I can, right?"
Tomorrow, they'd be out of the room and Kaiba would probably just shun him harder than usual. No point in passing up the opportunity for some company and begrudging acceptance. Kaiba was close enough that Jonouchi could smell his cologne-more than that, even, he could smell his shampoo, too.
"... Would you be pissed if I touched your hair?" Jonouchi asked. He couldn't even see Kaiba's head in the dark. He was asking partly because he'd done it earlier, without permission. Jonouchi wasn't even quite sure why he wanted to do it again.
"You already messed up my hair once, so whatever. Go ahead."
Jonouchi carefully reached out until he felt the back of Kaiba's head, and he started running his fingers through his hair. It wasn't that difficult to reach, since the couch was close to the ground. Shit, now Kaiba definitely thought he was crushing on him. Whatever, Kaiba thought he was a prostitute too, and Jonouchi wasn't going out of his way to change that impression, either. Getting to stroke his hair was about as close to any kind of physical affection as he was going to get.
He kind of wished though that Kaiba at least wanted to fuck him a little bit, so it didn't feel all so one sided.
After a while, his hand got a little cramped from the angle. His fingers were getting more pull than was probably comfortable, and he heard Kaiba shift a little bit.
"Sorry," Jonouchi apologized, feeling his face beginning to burn again in the darkness. "It's because I'm down here."
Kaiba just snorted. He appeared to be zoning out, his eyes closed and looking relaxed in the dark. There was no more natural sunlight in the room now, just the light of the moon.
"I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep regardless," said Kaiba quietly.
"Oh," Jonouchi wasn't sure what to say to that. He was too tired to think straight at this point. "You know something that helps you sleep?"
He stiffened when he realized what he was about to suggest. Something like that would be fine if he was just joking around with his friends, but not in this particular situation. Not with this particular person who laid next to him. The last person on earth to suggest such an idea to...
"What helps?" asked Kaiba somewhat amusedly, "I'm desperate, at this point."
"Yeah well-" Jonouchi squirmed a little. He was so tempted. He knew Kaiba didn't know what he'd just walked into, but part of him really wanted to see just how desperate he was and how he'd react.
"Well, sex helps you sleep."
Kaiba turned around and stared down at Jonouchi. His eyes grew large and wide from apparent shock and Jonouchi could feel his face burn before his throat closed up on him, his palms beginning to sweat.
"It's true," Jonouchi continued, feeling more nervous when Kaiba didn't reply. He'd probably fucked up pretty badly by mentioning it. "And not that terrible an idea, you know. If you weren't so hateful towards me, I'd consider it a pretty great idea, actually," admitted Jonouchi.
Well, there it was. It wasn't like Kaiba didn't already know.
"You don't even have anything on you, stupid," muttered Kaiba.
"I don't have anything...?" Jonouchi tried to figure out what Kaiba was talking about, and blushed when he did. "Haha, well, there are other things we could do. I'm not picky. I'm open to all sorts of ideas."
"What would you suggest then?" asked Kaiba, snorting loudly at that answer. "Since you're not 'picky'."
"Well," Jonouchi wasn't usually given the option to lead. He was surprised that Kaiba was even going along with it. "We could... you know, we could just fool around."
"You sound really sure about that," Kaiba joked, rolling his eyes and laying on his stomach while keeping his chin up with his hand. "Are you sure you could handle me doing things with you?"
"Yes," Jonouchi replied quickly, "I think it would be pretty good, actually. You don't seem to realize how attractive you are to me. I wouldn't turn down an offer from you..."
He wasn't going to cry about it if the chance never came, though. Even if Kaiba didn't give a fuck about it afterward if it did happen, the experience would be worth it. Jonouchi didn't really want to date him in the first place. But he definitely found him alluring.
"Like I said before," replied Kaiba back cooly, "if I were you, I'd want to fuck me, too. It's a real shame you weren't prepared for a chance to tonight."
"I wasn't expecting to get trapped in a dark office alone with you," Jonouchi laughed nervously, "Much less did I expect you to be interested. If you want to take a raincheck, I'm game."
Jonouchi couldn't tell if Kaiba was yanking him around for entertainment or actually interested. Maybe he should just give up and forget he mentioned it in the first place. Kaiba never betrayed himself to anyone, and the likelihood that Jonouchi had any sort of chance was abysmal, at best.
"Don't you think it's a little odd that you'd want that with me when I treat you like crap?" asked Kaiba, still looking down at Jonouchi who was lying on the ground, "I'd be a little bothered, if I were you."
"I'm a masochist, remember?" Jonouchi smirked, only half joking. "Yeah, you're a dick. But when you're not being a dick, you're pretty hot. I'm not going to be mad at myself for hooking up with you."
"You could do better."
"Better?" Jonouchi laughed in earnest. Better than Kaiba Seto? Well, he was the world's biggest twat, but still. "You're saying I could do better than the "'most eligible bachelor CEO in Japan'? I'm sure you've seen the magazines. Everyone thinks you're fuckable. Attitude and all."
"Doesn't make it true," replied Kaiba.
"Why not?" Jonouchi felt distinctly like he was being rejected gently. "I want to fuck around with you. If you're interested, then let's try."
Jonouchi was getting more anxious by the second. He wasn't sure if Kaiba was making up his mind, or had already made it up and was just taking the opportunity to pick on him. The asshole never made anything easy, especially when it came to reading his intentions.
"Come on, don't jerk me around. I think I've made myself clear," argued Jonouchi. "Either you want me too, or you don't."
"I'm not jerking you around. You might want to sleep with me, but I don't think it's a good idea," explained Kaiba. "Not that you aren't good looking, but... You wouldn't like me very much in the morning, and I don't want to deal with that, so maybe you should go lust after someone who's more worth your time."
"You don't get it," Jonouchi said quietly, waving his arm half-heartedly before letting out a long sigh. "Whatever. You don't want to have sex with me. You could have just said no thanks."
Jonouchi sighed again, resting his hands behind his head. He knew Kaiba was still looking at him. He hadn't moved. Why bother looking? It was too dark to see.
"It's not personal," added Kaiba. "Besides, I'm sure whatever you're envisioning in your head would be better than the real thing anyways."
"Maybe you aren't giving yourself enough credit," Jonouchi argued, sitting up. He felt too uncomfortable lying there with Kaiba looking at him. "Since when do you have such a low opinion of yourself, hmm?"
"I didn't say I'd be horrible," snorted Kaiba, turning his nose at the ceiling, "just maybe not everything you'd envisioned."
"What, you'd rather I daydreamed about having sex with you than actually doing it? No wonder you're still a virgin," Jonouchi snickered.
Kaiba just rolled his eyes, "Maybe I prefer to believe that sex means more than just trying to get off. It's not my fault everyone likes fantasizing about me. I didn't ask for the attention."
"It's not just trying to get off," defended Jonouchi, feeling himself becoming slightly offended at Kaiba's words, "half the fun is from doing it with someone else. Someone who makes you hot," Jonouchi explained, grinning, "It's not some romance novel shit, but it's still great. Sex is sex, the important thing is whether or not you enjoy it."
"That's really disappointing, then."
"How is it disappointing?" Jonouchi queried. Was Kaiba a romantic? That was... surprising, and yet not surprising. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex for the feeling. It's part of the human experience."
"Masturbation does the same thing."
Jonouchi laughed out loud at that. That was probably the least true thing he'd ever heard.
"It doesn't," he purred, lying back down on the ground smugly. Jonouchi definitely wasn't getting anywhere with this, and he didn't want to be too pushy about it. Couldn't say he didn't try, of course, but he wasn't going to keep prodding when Kaiba had already said no. Even let him down easy, surprisingly enough. "Wouldn't it be better to get a more intense feeling with someone close to you? To be able to kiss someone, and sleep next to them?"
"Not if it didn't actually mean anything at the end," remarked Kaiba with a frown. "Or else it's just meaningless. The next day, once it's over, you'd be stuck sleeping alone again, and then what? Nothing changes."
"It isn't meaningless," Jonouchi said as he began to sit up again. He couldn't lie down calmly while talking about sex, of all things. "It means something. Just because it doesn't mean what you want it to ideally doesn't make it meaningless."
He could hear Kaiba's breath and realized just how close they were. It made him feel a little uncomfortable. He was probably invading his personal space, too, but he wasn't exactly compelled to stop.
"What about Kitamura then? Do you feel anything while with him, or do you just do it because it feels good? I bet he doesn't even stay afterwards..."
"Don't be so dramatic," Jonouchi felt his face heating up. He wasn't that into Kitamura, but he wouldn't call the situation meaningless. It certainly could be, because they were dating. That had to mean something. Not all relationships were super romantic, anyways. "Just because I date him for the sex doesn't make it pointless. What's pointless about having sex? It's an experience that people enjoy."
"I don't want to expose myself to someone just because. That doesn't sound like an 'enjoyable' experience to me."
"You don't make any sense, Kaiba. I'm pretty sure you only think that because you're a virgin," Jonouchi sighed, "I just don't get you..."
He paused, the proximity becoming glaringly obvious again. He felt nervous and clammy.
"Do you really not want me at all?"
"It's not about wanting someone," spoke Kaiba quietly, his voice just barely audible now as he whispered into the blackness of the room. "It's about doing the right thing. And doing the right thing by you would be to not sleep with you. You're always going on about how I use people, and now you're getting upset because I won't use you."
"It isn't usingme if I'm asking for it. Like literally asking for it," Jonouchi argued, looking down at where he guessed Kaiba's head was."Why can't you see it that way?"
"We're very different people," explained Kaiba. "Besides, I'm a virgin, so by your infinite wisdom, I won't get it."
"Kaiba," Jonouchi groaned, resting his elbows on the couch and leaning closer. He felt his breath on his cheeks, the aroma intriguing. "Please. I really want to have sex with you."
"It's not a good idea, Jonouchi."
"Why, because it would be meaningless?"Jonouchi asked, frowning. "I don't think it would be."
"No," Kaiba said, correcting Jonouchi, "Because I think it would mean more to you than it would me. I'm not going to potentially upset you while things get more complicated between us. You like me more than you let on, and I'm not going to screw around with you because you're feeling horny. I'm not going to mess with your psyche and find out you couldn't handle it after the fact. No thanks. I'd rather avoid that situation, even if you don't think it would happen."
"Do I look like a teenage girl to you?" Jonouchi was slightly offended, but it did make him wonder. Would he get attached? Kaiba seemed to think it was a legitimate concern. Jonouchi wasn't sure.
"You're gay," Kaiba accused with a flat tone of haughtiness, "even if you're not, the tendencies are there."
"What? That's not-" Jonouchi didn't even know what to say to that. What the hell was Kaiba even talking about? Why was he making shit so complicated?
Dammit, Jonouchi just wanted to fool around. It wasn't that hard to understand.
"You won't even consider it?" Jonouchi leaned closer to Kaiba's face. He felt the couch shift as Kaiba stiffened in response. "I'm not going to get clingy or whatever. I won't even sleep next to you afterward if you don't want me to."
"Jonouchi, if I wanted that, I would have slept with hundreds of other people who had propositioned me before you locked me in this room," countered Kaiba. "Maybe you feel comfortable about being unattached, or think you would be, but I'm not.
"Besides, I don't sleep well alone."
Jonouchi sighed and sat quietly for a few seconds. He was never going to get Kaiba out of his system, was he? There was no way to do it. The guy wouldn't fuck him, they apparently couldn't maintain a fight long enough to hate each other, and he couldn't bring himself to make permanent distance.
"Ugh," he conceded reluctantly, "Fine, we won't have sex."
He could actually feel Kaiba's breath blowing against his bangs a little. Jonouchi was tempted to try just going for it, but he had a feeling it would piss Kaiba off. Still, Jonouchi didn't move away. He was indecisive about it. Kaiba might get mad at him later, but on the other hand, Jonouchi might not get the chance again.
He leaned closer, gauging his position by the sound and feeling of Kaiba's breath. The speed of his respiration was picking up but Kaiba didn't move. Jonouchi stopped just short of liplock, trying to reconsider one last time before finally making contact. It was probably the most hesitant he'd ever been about a kiss in his short experience. Of course, he'd never initiated before, and Kaiba wasn't exactly eager.
Nowhere near as eager as Jonouchi was, certainly.
But when Kaiba didn't try to move away or shut him out, Jonouchi made the kiss deeper, using his own mouth to ease Kaiba's open. He was still in disbelief about what he was actually doing, but it was a little too late to stop now. Jonouchi just hoped Kaiba wouldn't be shy about giving him a shove if he really wasn't into it.
Kaiba appeared stunned. And confused. Surprisingly, he allowed himself to be led, Jonouchi leading him into opening his mouth before he put a hand on his hip and squeezed a little. When he opened his mouth, Jonouchi could feel Kaiba's tongue against his. He stroked it against his and heard Kaiba snort when it got a little messy. Their lips were moist, and he almost thought about pulling back and wiping his mouth, but couldn't. Jonouchi held onto Kaiba's face with one hand, and he couldn't manage to move now that he finally had his chance. He felt Kaiba's nose bump into his before biting his lower lip while shifting his weight to sit on top of him.
It was a better angle than trying to do it while kneeling on the floor. Kaiba was reciprocating, despite being hesitant about it, which was more than Jonouchi had hoped for. He let his fingers slide into Kaiba's hair, getting a firm grip without tugging on it hard. Their lips were starting to get wet, but that was to be expected. Kaiba caught his breath when Jonouchi nipped his lower lip again before leaving his mouth alone and working his way to his neck.
Kaiba still wasn't really touching him, like he was into it but didn't feel like participating. Jonouchi wasn't sure what to make of that, but he didn't want to stop. He left light kisses along Kaiba's neck, nipping him gently and sucking when it suited him. Not enough to leave a mark, since that would probably piss him off, but enough to enjoy it.
He slid his free hand down Kaiba's front, seeking the hem of his shirt. When he found it, he slipped his fingers underneath and ran them up his stomach. He could feel the faint outline of abdominal muscles and the shape of his diaphragm before feeling the firm surface of his pectoral muscles. His fingers must have tickled a little, because Kaiba shuddered under him. Jonouchi figured that was probably a good thing, unless he was misinterpreting. Hopefully not.
Jonouchi pulled back, sitting up and straddling Kaiba's hips as he pushed Kaiba's shirt up to his collarbones. Kaiba didn't try to stop him. Jonouchi bent his head and teased his nipple with his tongue when he found it, sucking on the flat surface and holding it between his teeth while he flicked it. Kaiba flinched a little, and Jonouchi heard his breath catch, but it seemed to be done out of pleasure. Kaiba's hands finally moved, resting on Jonouchi's shoulders as he went about his teasing.
He sat up and held either side of Kaiba's chest, exploring it. He hadn't had a chance to really feel it before, and might not ever again, so he decided to take a chance. Jonouchi ran his fingertips lightly over the surface of Kaiba's torso, circling his navel after grazing it. Kaiba was starting to buck up a little bit, and Jonouchi felt heat building up between them. He wanted to grind into it, badly, but refrained. He didn't want to scare Kaiba off, either.
Jonouchi bent to kiss him again, and this time Kaiba rose to greet him when he was close. His hands were in his hair, tugging and making a royal mess of it. It was fair. Jonouchi had done the same.
He caught his breath and opened his eyes when Kaiba pulled his head back using the grip on his hair. Jonouchi thought he was being forced to stop, but instead he felt Kaiba's other hand on his hip, directing him to rotate his pelvis. Jonouchi didn't argue. If Kaiba wanted to top from the bottom then so be it. He started grinding shamelessly, trying to get as much sensation out of it as he could. Kaiba's erection was very evident through his tight pants, and Jonouchi thought it must be painfully constricting. Maybe Kaiba was into that.
Then he openly moaned, Kaiba having forced Jonouchi to tilt his head to the side as he began sucking hard against his neck, hard enough to leave a mark. Jonouchi was too into it to complain. Let Kaiba mark him. It didn't matter to Jonouchi at all. It would be a souvenir. He tried to keep grinding despite being forced to bend down, but it was difficult. Jonouchi could feel himself draining from all the physical effort.
He was a little surprised when Kaiba pushed him away, and Jonouchi thought for a second that their little tryst was over, but all Kaiba did was tug his shirt over his head. Jonouchi was starting to grind again when Kaiba gave him a genuine shove, forcing him onto his back. Surprised yet intrigued, he opened his legs compliantly and let Kaiba between them, moaning when he started thrusting against him. It was significantly better with Kaiba in control. He had a greater range of motion, and was more aggressive than Jonouchi had dared to be about it.
His hands found themselves resting against Kaiba's neck. The black turtleneck was gone entirely now, and Jonouchi was free to enjoy the feeling of his bare skin unimpeded. He let Kaiba lead the kiss, returning the gesture with equal passion. He was trying to arch into the thrusting, but it was pointless. Kaiba bore down so hard that it forced him flat again.
Jonouchi was starting to sweat, bucking his hips out of instinct more than thought as he breathlessly asked for more. Kaiba wasn't giving in; he didn't go any further than fervent kisses and aggressive bites, and very enthusiastic grinding. To give him a hint, Jonouchi found the hem of his pants and circled his fingers to the front to get the belt off.
Kaiba gasped and recoiled, breaking the kiss and pulling away. Jonouchi tried to force him back down, but he wasn't willing to use all his strength, and Kaiba was strong enough to resist.
"Don't stop," Jonouchi pleaded, "keep going. Please."
"I already told you I wouldn't."
Kaiba got up, sliding to the end of the couch before grabbing his top that was hanging off the side and putting it back on. His face was strained. Jonouchi wanted to reach out and touch his face, but from the darkened look in Kaiba's eyes, he knew that would be a major mistake to try and do.
"Kaiba, please," Jonouchi stressed again, his eyes pleading.
"I'm not going to back out of my word," Kaiba answered, looking back down at him while straightening his belt, "I won't."
"Why the fuck not?" Jonouchi tugged at his hair. He was frustrated in a few different ways, now. "We could just keep going. Don't quit with me now."
"I already explained to you, Jonouchi. Don't make this harder than it has to be, it's not like I don't want to continue..."
Kaiba sighed, shaking his head and moving onto the floor. Jonouchi frowned as his eyes followed him. He was too stubborn. The floor couldn't have been comfortable, but Kaiba didn't appear like he was going to move anytime soon.
"I'm going to bed. You can have the couch..."
Jonouchi huffed, more disappointed than anything. He couldn't really feel hurt about it, since Kaiba wasn't just backing out because he didn't think Jonouchi was worth fucking. It was his principles, fine. Jonouchi had to respect that. It wasn't worth trying to push Kaiba past his limit for a one-nighter.
Even if he really wanted to.
"It's fine, Kaiba, I'll sleep on the floor," Jonouchi moved carefully down to avoid hitting him, "You don't have to coddle me, and I don't want to take your couch."
His pillow was still down there, and he laid his head on it. Kaiba hadn't gotten up yet.
"I'll be fine on the floor."
"Yeah right, rich guy," Jonouchi rolled his eyes. "Your floor is probably more comfortable than my bed."
"Stop pestering me."
Kaiba rolled so he was on his back, and closed his eyes.
"Fine," Jonouchi grumbled, trying to hide that he was a little pleased, "I was just trying to be polite."
Jonouchi didn't think he'd mind sleeping next to Kaiba for the night. It made him feel less rejected, at least, and that would make it easier to just forget about it in the morning. No bad feelings. In all honesty, they shouldn't have done that. Jonouchi was starting to realize that Kaiba was probably right, and that the two of them actually having sex wasn't a great idea. Kaiba was too fucking feelings-y about it, and Jonouchi was more into it than he could justify. He'd certainly never begged like that with Kitamura before.
He rolled onto his back to avoid cramping his shoulder and closed his eyes. Jonouchi had a sneaking suspicion that the next day might be a little eventful, and he'd need his rest. In all honesty, he was pretty satisfied, despite not getting off. Kaiba was being shockingly understanding about the whole thing...
Jonouchi was tempted to roll closer to him, but wasn't sure that was a good idea. Wouldn't that just prove what Kaiba had said about him being attached? Maybe he'd keep his big mouth shut and just accept it. Or he'd give Jonouchi a smack to tell him to fuck off.
Worth a shot. Jonouchi scooted closer to Kaiba so they were pressed against each other, back to back. He heard a quiet snort, but that was all the response he received. That was good. Kaiba could be amused if he wanted to, as long as Jonouchi didn't have to feel so alone.