Weeks have passed since the day Marcy started to come and see me. And every day it made me happier and less miserable. The days in the place seemed more bearable than normal. I was smiling more than normal and it seemed to scare everyone around me. I was never the one to smile about anything, ever. I was even trying to make myself seem less gloomy so that I looked like my old self. Before that night happened.
I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. I couldn't be thinking about this, not now. I needed to focus on Marcy. Marcy was the key to gaining my sanity. And maybe even my freedom again. I can probably get an early release than living out my days in here. I can finally live the rest of my days with the woman I love.

"BB. Your visitor is here again." Said one of the orderly's and opened the door to my room. I stood up and stretched my arms. I walked passed him and towards the hallways but he grabbed my arm.

"She's not there. She's outside. The doctor said that you can finally take your time outside. That you finally deserve it. But you better watch yourself. The quickly it came the quickly that it will be taken away from you." They warned and I simply nodded.

"This won't be taken away from me. I've finally earned something." I said and walked in the opposite direction. The weather had to be great out. I gently gripped the door but stopped myself. She was waiting outside for me but I didn't want to open the door. I was waiting for somebody to come and stop me. To drag me to a white padded cell in a strait jacket. I shuddered at the thought and took a deep breath.

I opened the door and the first thing I saw was the blinding sun. I squinted my eyes and stepped outside. The breeze felt amazing against my face and I spread my arms out. For the first time I felt just a little bit free.

"BB!" Marcy called out to me and waved her hand. She wore a pretty pink sundress, that showed off her shoulders and figure. I smiled and waved back.

She looked more beautiful today than any other day. If only was allowed to take pictures. I sighted and walked over to her.

"Isn't it beautiful today? I thought it be a great day for a picnic." She smiled and grabbed my hand.

"Picnic?" I blinked and let her pull me to the bench.

She nodded and sat down, pulling me with her. "Your doctor said for me to do whatever I can to make you feel better. And to get you back on your feet."

I nodded and leaned onto her. "What's for lunch?"

"Turkey and cheddar cheese sandwich with honey mustard for me and strawberry jam for you. I'll bring you more sweets." She smiled and took out the jar.

I took the jar from her and opened it. I dipped my fingers in and licked them.

She giggled some and started to eat her sandwich. "You're still the same BB."

"Maybe not all the same…" I mumbled and ate some more jam.

"Doesn't mean you can't again." She looked at me and gently touched my shoulder.

I nodded and smiled. "Your right. I can't thank you enough."

"You don't have to thank me." She said and licked her lips. "We have to stick together."

I nodded happily.

Everyday Marcy come to see me I felt happiness inside of me. True happiness. And I wanted to express my love for her. But every time the perfect moment came, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Or even show some kind of affection. God what was wrong with me? I felt like a hopeless school boy.

What could I do?/em I thought to myself and laid back on my bed. There was so many possibilities but I just didn't know what! I wanted to do something for her that wouldn't be too corny. Something that no one has ever done. Something unexpected. Something she wouldn't expect me to do.

That's when the idea came to me. I got up quickly and rushed towards the doctor's office and banged in the door. I didn't know if she was even going to be there. Hopefully she was, there was a favor that he needed from her.

After a few more tries the door finally opened and she raised an eyebrow at me. "Can I help you Beyond?" She asked and opened the door more.

"You know how Marcy has been coming to see me? And all the treats she brings me? Well I know I don't have many options cause…since its me… And there's not many things I can use in here... But I would like to know if you can bring me something? Just let me borrow it for a bit and I promise to give it right back."

"Depends on what you want?" She asked, even more curious than before.

"Can you borrow a book for me? From the library."

"A book? What kind of book do you want?"

"Um…umm…" I mumbled and twiddled my fingers a bit. "I'm actually embarrassed to say…"

"Is it appropriate?"

"Of course it is!" I yelped and blinked a bit. "Its World's Greatest Love Poems… There's a poem by Beethoven that she always loved for me to read to her. I wanted to read it to her soon. And do another thing also…" I murmured and breathed.

She smiled at me and gently pinched my cheek. "How sweet! This is a whole different side of you that I never seen. After my paperwork Ill head to the library and I'll get the book for you.

"Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it." I said and rubbed my red cheeks.

"Run along now." She chuckled and closed her door gently.

I gently touched the door. "Thank you so much." I murmured and slowly headed back to my room. As I walked I felt a small sense of dread come over me. Why was I feeling this way? I should be feeling happy. But why do I feel like something wants to claw its way from my stomach.

She doesn't love you idiot. A voice chuckled darkly. You're going to make a big fool out of yourself. And when you destroy yourself in the process I will be here. Waiting to get out and play.

I blinked and looked around. I was alone in the hallway. Who could have said that? I shook my head quickly and opened the door to my room.

The possibilities are endless right now. I want to get my hands on that pretty little throat of hers. Feel the way she struggles against my grip. Seeing the light drain from her eyes. Maybe I'll do to her what I did to Barnyard Queen. But much more creative.

I covered my ears with my hands and looked around the room. Who was saying those horrible things?

Over here! It chuckled as I looked towards the mirror and gripped my hair. I saw myself in the mirror but instead of black eyes looking at me they were blood red. With a maniacal smile spread across its lips. I knew you could hear me. I know you want to do bad things to her.

"No I don't. I love her. I would never lay a hand on her!" I shouted.

You say that now but when the time comes…you will. And you will love every moment of it! Just like before. You can't deny what you are… what we are.

"I am nothing like you! I'm a different person now! I won't go back to that place! I rather die first!" I clenched my fist and tried not to hit the mirror.

You are going to be very entertaining… It chuckled some and grinned.

I closed my eyes tightly and pulled on my hair. This couldn't be happening. Not right now! I couldn't be falling apart now! I was finally starting to get some of my sanity back. Now I had to deal with things that aren't there! It was even threatening Marcy!

I will never hurt her." I whispered and rubbed my eyes.

The rest of the night I laid awake, looking at the wall. Waiting. Waiting to hear the voice again. Wondering what it was going to say next. What malicious things it wanted to do to her. And what I could do to stop it. I had a feeling that I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. I sat up in bed and rubbed the back of my neck. Maybe I could use this time to figure out what else I wanted to do for her.

The doc was already going to get me the book, that part was taken care of for me. Now I just needed a perfect setting. Then that's when it came to me./p

"That's it." I whispered and went to lay down again.

"Here you go BB." Said the doc and handed me the book. I took it from her and gently grazed the front cover.

"Thank you. I can't give thanks enough." I said and smiled. It was finally coming together. Today was the day I declared my love for her. I was pretty fucking nervous. I breathed shakily and stood up.

"There's no need to thank me. Just seeing you happy makes me happy. If this keeps up there may be a possibility of you getting out early." She said and looked up from her paperwork. "You'll still be monitored but you'll be a free man."

I blinked a bit. Free? I thought. That word felt so foreign to me. But I was counting on that. I'd be no use to Marcy if I was locked up in here. "I would love that. I hope it happens."

She smiled at me and went back to writing. I stood up and headed for the door and walked out. There was still some time till she came. "Plenty of time." I said and headed towards my room and sat down on my bed. I laid the book down and pull out some colored paper. I wasn't the crafty kind of person but for Marcy I could make the attempt.

Hours must have passed till the door opened again and I looked up from the mess on my bed.

"It's time BB." They said and opened the door more.

"I nodded and brushed the clippings off of me and went to the mirror and rubbed under eyes. I was a bit of a mess but nothing too bad. I smoothed out the hairs from my face and pushed them back. I rarely showed my face but this time was going to be a special day. A day I wanted to remember.

"Today BB! Either hurry or you can forget going." They said annoyed.

"Coming, coming." I mumbled and grabbed the book. I passed them and glared before running down the hall.

No one was going to take this awake from me! I wasn't going to let them. Not today, not ever. I opened the door to the outside and felt the cool breeze. It wasn't sunny like the last few times but it will do. I looked around and held the book to my chest and walk towards the usual spot, where we met and saw her.

She turned around and smiled at me. Instead of another dress she wore casual clothes. She must have felt cold. I thought and walked up to her. "Hey there beautiful." I smiled and gently kissed her cheek.

She blushed a bit and held her cheek. "It's kind of chilly outside. You're not cold?"

I shook my head. "It feels really nice outside. I like it."

"Maybe if I sat closer to you I'll get warm." She smiled and leaned onto me.

"I'll always keep you warm love." I smiled and kissed her cheek more.

"Stop." She giggled and pinched my sides. "What's that?" She asked and looked at the book under my arm.

"I planned something special. I think you're going to love it." I smiled and sat down, against the tree and gently patted the spot next to me. She sat down and laid her head against my shoulder.

"I'm curious now. Please share."

I took the book and opened to her favorite poem. "I don't know if you remember that one time at Wammy's?" I asked and looked at her.

"How could I forget." She smiled. "Keep going please."

My angel, my all, my own self — only a few words today, and that too with pencil (with yours) — only till tomorrow is my lodging definitely fixed. What abominable waste of time in such things — why this deep grief, where necessity speaks?" I read and looked at her. She smiled brightly and slowly slid her hand in mine.

"The love letter from Beethoven." She murmured and gave my hand a squeeze.

I smiled more and kissed her hair. "I remembered how you always loved it. And I wanted to read it too you. Like old times." I murmured and continued. "Can our love persist otherwise than through sacrifices, then by not demanding everything? Canst thou change it, that thou are not entirely mine, I not entirely thine? Oh, God, look into beautiful Nature and compose your mind to the inevitable. Love demands everything and is quite right, so it is for me with you, for you with me — only you forget so easily, that I must live for you and for me — were we quite united, you would notice this painful feeling as little as I should...
We shall probably soon meet, even today I cannot communicate my remarks to you, which during these days I made about my life — were our hearts close together, I should probably not make any such remarks. My bosom is full, to tell you much — there are moments when I find that speech is nothing at all. Brighten up — remain my true and only treasure, my all, as I to you. The rest the gods must send, what must be for us and shall." I finished and looked down at her.

She slowly rubbed her eyes and looked at me. "It's still as beautiful as ever. Thank you for sharing it with me again."

"There's more angel." I said and sat up.

She blinked at me, confused. "There is?"

"Remember when we talked about running away together. So we can get married, start our own family. Finally, be free of Wammy. I proposed to you that night..."

"How could I forget. I waited for you that night... But you never came for me." She sniffled and I saw the tears run down her eyes.

I gently rubbed her cheek and pulled her close and kissed her deeply. She blinked a bit and quickly pulled back. "BB…" She murmured and looked at me.

"I love you Marcy. I always have. I regret that night so much. I should have come for you and ran away like we planned. I can't change that but now I have a chance to do that." I smiled and took her hands. "There's a chance I will be getting out. We can be together again. Just like we planned."

"BB…" She stuttered and quickly stood up.

I got on one knee and took her left hand. "Marcy, will you please be my wife?" I asked and pulled out a paper ring that I made. "I know it's not like the one I gave you before. But once I get out I'll get you the one you rightfully deserve." I said and smiled up at her. "Will you please marry me and spend the rest of your life with me?"

She stood there and put her hand to her mouth in shock. I know I caught her off guard but I couldn't keep it to myself. I needed to get it out there. I know she was going to say yes. I just caught her off guard. That's why she was speechless.

"BB… I…I... I can't do that..." She said and took her hand back.

I blinked confused. The words didn't seem real to me right now. "What do you mean no? But I love you Marcy."

"I know you do! I love you too BB. I always have. And I always will till the day I die. But I can't marry you."

"Why not?! You just said that you love me! "I said and stood up. I quickly grabbed her face and tried to put another kiss but she pushed me back.

She breathed deeply and reached into her pocket to pull out a diamond ring. I blinked a bit and looked at her. "I'm already engaged to someone else. I wanted to tell you... But you looked so happy! Every time I came, there was the smile I remembered. I couldn't break your heart.

I laughed bitterly and ripped the paper ring I made. "I can't believe how stupid I feel right now! I just confessed my love for you and I get this bullshit!" I shouted. "I think I'm going to be sick." I murmured.

"Please BB!" She cried and tried to grab my hand.

I quickly pulled my hand back and stepped back. "Don't touch me."

"When you left I didn't think you were coming back for me! You abandoned me when A died! You broke my heart!" She cried more and wiped her eyes.

"Not as bad as you broke mine right now. I guess my karma is starting to come back to me now." I sighed and breathed. "I have to go. Don't come back here Marcy. Not ever."

"Don't do this BB. Please…" She whispered.

"My heart can't do this anymore." I said and turned to walk back inside./

As I walked I could hear her calling my name but I tuned her out. After today the last of me died. I felt cold and numb. More numb than normal. How could I recover from this? I started to bump into people. I made some mad but the rest just ignored me. I couldn't deal with no one else. When I got to my room I opened the door and slammed it behind me. I started to hit the steel door over and over until I saw blood.

I got a few more hits in before I sank too my knees and leaned my forehead against the floor and broke down. I forgot what actual tears felt like. I didn't think that I could cry. "So weird." I murmured and touched the tears on my cheek.

Look at you. Pathetic excuse of a man. Crying over a woman. It chuckled at me. I could feel the smirked in that voice.

"Please leave me alone. I can't deal with this." I said and sat up. I could see myself sitting on my bed causally. They laid back with their hands behind their head and smirked happily.

Did I not tell you already that she was going to leave you. Did she leave you before or after your little love confession?

I shook my head and stood up. "I'm not going to discuss this."

It must have been after. Ouch. Has to hurt the ego. It laughed.

I went to my bed and sat on the corner. I knew I wasn't going to hear the end of it.

It continued to make fun of me and make more jokes about my wounded heart. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. My heart hurt, my knuckles and now my ears. This was a horrible day. What else was going to happen?

My door opened again and I opened my eyes a bit and looked up. It was the doc again and I rubbed my eyes. I forgot the book outside. I thought to myself.

"Are you okay? I heard what happened." She said and walked inside.

I shrugged and closed my eyes again. I couldn't deal with her. "I don't feel like talking about what happened."

"I expect you in my office in ten minutes BB." She said and walked back out without another word.

I laughed a little. Was she deaf? I wasn't going to leave this room. Not even in ten minutes.

You should go. It said and hit me square in the chest. It's going to be very interesting.

I slowly rubbed my chest. "I won't go."

It hit me again on my chest, this time even harder. Knocking the breath right out of me. Do as I say! It growled and kept hitting me.

I held up my arms to cover myself. "Okay! Okay!" I cried. "You made your point!" I said and sat up. I breathed in deeply and got up quickly. Just as I got up, it got up with me.

Hurry up! It said and shoved me forward.

I stumbled forward and started to walk. I couldn't believe I was letting myself getting bullied this way. And by my own self no less. Pathetic. I thought and kept walking towards the doc's office. I knocked on the door slowly and let myself in.

She was behind her desk, writing and looked up. "Have a seat BB."

I did what she asked and picked my feet up to my chest and laid my chin on my knees. "What do you want? Because I really don't feel like talking about anything."

"Then just sit there until you're ready to open up with me. I'm not your enemy. I only wanted to help you." She said and stood up and turned around to file some papers.

I felt something start to nudge my shoulder. I looked up a bit to see it was me again.

The picture. It said and pointed. Take the glass and hide it.

I blinked a bit and looked at the doc to see if she heard it too. But no. She continues to do her business and didn't turn. So it was only me that could hear it. Which could only prove that I was truly going insane. I gripped my hair and hid my eyes on my knees.

What did I tell you?! It shouted. "Take the glass and hide it! Do it! Do it!"

I shook my head and gripped my hair more. But it kept yelling at me to do it. It wasn't going to stop until I did what it said. I was finally at my breaking point. I lifted my head and saw that she was still filing. I slowly reached over to grab the picture and quickly undid the frame and took the glass. I hid it in my sleeve and readjusted myself.

She turned around and looked at me. I could have sworn that she knew that I took the glass. I gulped nervously and tried to keep my calm. "I know your hurting right now but I will tell you this. It will get better. I know you don't see it but it will. She won't be the only love of your life. You're still young and have plenty of time to figure out who to love. Trust me." She said and sat back down.

I nodded slowly. By the time my session with the doc ended it was already dark. I didn't even talk. I just sat there. Motionless. The only person that was talking was it. It kept laughing at me, jabbing me with his fingers. Pulling at my hair.

I don't think I'll ever have a moment of peace. What was peace? I haven't known that in so long.

Don't forget about the glass. It said.

I took out the glass from my sleeve and looked at it. "What am I going to do with this?"

Break it and take the sharp end.

I did what it said and broke it on the floor and searched the shattered pieces, until I found the sharpest one. I held it up. "Now what?"

Now use it on yourself. On your wrist.

I blinked bit. "Why would I do that?"

You don't want to feel the pain anymore right? Here's your chance to finally to take the pain away. You can end it all right here.

End it? I never thought I'd do that? I looked at the glass in my hand and gently pointed the sharp edge against my wrist.

That a boy. Just a bit more pressure.

I pressed the edge a bit harder. I flinched a bit but didn't pull the glass away. I could feel the trickle of blood rub down my hand. I looked at the floor and blinked. I was making a mess on the white floor. Instead of stopping, I just kept going. Dragging the glass over and over my wrist.

Now the other one. You're doing great.

I felt a little faint but I started to run the glass on my other wrist now. I stumbled forwards a bit and fell to my knees. My clothes were stained with blood, just like the floor. But I didn't care. With whatever strength I had, I pushed myself onto my side.

Now doesn't that feel great. Just let go. It said and put his hand over my eyes.

"Just let go." I whispered and closed my eyes.

I feel like the beginning was a little too boring but bear with me. I know it took me a while to update but I do hope you all like it.
Max-Nightmare