Chapter Nineteen
Jonouchi was enjoying a half day, or rather, enjoying the free half of the day. With so much spare time on his hands and both Kaiba brothers currently preoccupied, he hardly knew what to do with himself. Reluctant to go to his apartment and be trapped in that shitty place with just himself, he went out to eat.
He sat outdoors, his plate long-since empty. He was working on the milkshake he'd ordered to go with his burger and was fully enjoying it. He hadn't had anything like it in quite a long time. Needless to say, he was happy to treat himself, and it was vastly improving his flat mood.
Then he heard a familiar voice calling his name. Recognizing it as Anzu, he turned around, hoping he could spend some time with a friend today after all. His good mood was immediately dashed when he saw that she was joined by Kujaku Mai. Of course. It was no surprise that Anzu would hook up with her while she was in Domino, but Jonouchi had hoped not to encounter the woman himself. Even if he still treasured her as a friend, he'd still seen her with Kaiba, flirting up a storm. That didn't make him eager to speak with her.
Still, he didn't let it show on his face when he stood to greet the two of them and invited them to sit at his table.
"How did you two end up hanging out together?" He asked, recalling that Anzu and Mai had never really got on. Mai was always too much for Anzu to handle, not to mention she'd flirted shamelessly with both Yugi and Jonouchi. Anzu hadn't appreciated that. There was also the time Mai joined the Doom cult and tried to kill them. Though that one she couldn't be held responsible for doing, considering the amount of brainwashing involved...
"We ran into each other in New York," told Anzu, taking a seat and picking up a menu. She was looking over the food options before appearing to decide upon a burger and fries. Anzu liked to eat American food a lot. "So we saw some shows together."
"There were some dueling competitions going on in the city," Mai cut in, "so it just happened to work out like that."
"I see," Jonouchi nodded before turning to Mai. She looked as bright as ever, unsurprisingly. She always found something with which to amuse herself. "It's good to see you again, Mai. What have you been up to lately?"
"What am I ever up to?" She laughed her high-pitched laugh. It brought back memories. Most of them were unfortunately not that pleasant. "Trouble, of course. I'd forgotten how slow Domino is compared to New York, though."
She seemed genuinely discontented with the city. Jonouchi rolled his eyes. Maybe Domino wasn't that glamorous, but it was his home. Maybe if she'd ever seen it before Kaiba took over Kaiba Corporation, her opinion would be a little less biased. The city had come a long way from what it used to be.
"Are you still dueling, then? Or are you just playing around at competitions?"
"Oh, I'm not really shooting for the stars anymore," Mai waved her hand dismissively, But yes, I've been at small tournaments, just locally. It wins me a little money here and there and keeps my sponsors attentive."
Mai had sponsors. How had she managed that when Jonouchi, a top five player, hadn't? Then again, she was female and attractive. Jonouchi knew he wasn't nearly as good at winning over supporters like she was. If he was at all honest with himself, he would have to admit that he quite frankly sucked at it all together.
"What about you, Jonouchi? Have you been playing?"
"Not really. I haven't had the time or spare cash. I've got a better job now, though, so hopefully I can get started again before too long."
"Psh, jobs," Mai snorted, "Just find yourself a rich and lonely bachelorette, Jonouchi. You'll be set for life."
"Yeah, right. What would a rich girl want from me, hmm?" He challenged with a sly look. Probably whatever had made Mai vaguely interested in him. That said, it obviously hadn't been enough.
"Some girls like a rough man," she winked. Jonouchi saw Anzu's eye twitch a little. "And you're still a looker, you know."
Jonouchi snorted. Yes, he knew. He probably couldn't fool around with two guys at once if he didn't have something about him. Kaiba didn't seem to be into "rough" men, so it must be looks. Kitamura didn't count so much, since he'd sleep with pretty much anything. He was hardly a basis for taste.
"I'm surprised you haven't got some billionaire on your arm," Jonouchi smirked at Mai, who started to giggle.
"Well, I have been trying," she replied, only half-joking, "I met up with Kaiba Seto recently, but he wasn't really interested. Ah, well...it was worth a shot."
Jonouchi noticed that Anzu was getting very uncomfortable and was probably barely containing her irritation, so he chose not to explore the topic further. So Mai had been trying to get Kaiba to go out with her? And Kaiba had obviously not been of the same mind. It made Jonouchi feel unduly smug, but he didn't let it show on his face. Both Anzu and Mai would pester him endlessly if they noticed that.
"Anzu," he said to his exasperated friend, "Do you have any plans for later?"
"Nah, but I should get to studying," she answered back, staring at a glass of water a waiter had brought over, "School will be starting soon and I can't miss any time this semester just fooling around. Why, did you want to hang out later today? That would be really fun."
Her eyes trailed on Mai, internally hoping the blonde would lose interest and leave. Now that Jonouchi was there, it was like she was actively trying to make him jealous for attention. And even though it wasn't working, it still kind of pissed her off.
"I'm sure Mai has plans though. Another date, I'm sure."
Although probably not with Kaiba Seto. Apparently her charms weren't enough for him.
"Of course!" Mai replied, completely unashamed. "A girl has to stay busy."
Jonouchi couldn't imagine what Anzu would think of his "relationships" if she was this disapproving of Mai. At least Mai didn't seem to be sleeping with everyone.
"I'd like to hang out, if you're free," Jonouchi nodded. If he was honest, he really needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't Kaiba. Maybe he wasn't upset about Jonouchi crushing on him, or whatever, but he couldn't tell him how he really felt. At least to Anzu, an outside party, he could spill his guts and depend on her not to inform Kaiba at any time. At least, not before he did. If he ever did. Which he told himself would not happen.
He wished he could talk about Kitamura. God, he wished he could...But that wasn't possible. Anzu's judgment and blunt advice wouldn't help him at all, and he knew it. No reason to drag her into it if he was just going to keep fucking himself over.
"Excuse me, darlings," Mai stood, a little flustered. She'd finished her food. "I need to visit the powder room."
Of course she did, despite not appearing to be wearing that much makeup. Why did she need the powder room? Was it that hard to re-apply her lipstick at the table with a mirror? But he was a man, what did he know about it...
He turned to Anzu, and from the look she gave him, he knew she probably saw in his eyes that he needed someone to talk to. She'd always been attentive to things like that, despite seeming so unsympathetic at times.
"Anzu, I think I'm going to lose my mind," he groaned, banging his forehead into the table in defeat. Anzu would probably be unmoved by this display, but it made Jonouchi feel a little better.
"Yeah, why's that?" She asked, tilting her head, "Did something happen? Is Mai bothering you? Because if she is, we can leave and I'll just catch up with you later, I don't mind. She gets on my nerves sometimes too. Oh, and she doesn't know. I didn't tell her anything, I thought if you wanted to, you'd tell her yourself."
She didn't know what was wrong with Jonouchi, but he seemed to be as overly dramatic as ever. He was always making such a big show over silly things, and rolling her eyes, Anzu stroked his hair once before snorting.
"Stop being such a baby about it, Jonouchi. Get up."
Jonouchi sat properly in his chair, sighing. Anzu thought he was talking about Mai? That was a little funny...
"It isn't Mai," he told her, staring at the table, "It's Kaiba. He didn't do anything to me, so don't get all worked up... it's all just me. Fuck, Anzu, I really like him. More than just crushing. It's so stupid, but..."
He didn't know how to explain, but maybe Anzu would understand. After all, she'd had feelings for Atem. Deep feelings. She'd been pretty broken up when he left, at least for a while.
"It hurts. A lot. And it's driving me crazy."
"What? You can't be serious, Jonouchi Katsuya, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, Kaiba Seto? Of all people? Why the heck would you like him so much? He's an asshole.
"I mean, sometimes he can be decent," corrected Anzu out loud to herself, "But most of the time he's just a jerk."
"I know," Jonouchi muttered, "But he's good when he starts being a little more trusting. Well, not super friendly or anything, but he's not a giant dick to me anymore."
Kaiba was pretty tolerant, all things considered. He had a way of being supportive that was more like a caretaker than a friend. Yugi had always been the type to offer sympathy and try to give emotional advice. Kaiba was more likely to listen sympathetically and give very blunt advice. And Jonouchi had duly noted that he wasn't afraid to be brutally judgmental. It was like dealing with Anzu, except Kaiba was...
Was what? A lot of things. Not least of which the object of his affections.
"I can't get into detail about everything, but he's been really good to me, believe it or not," Jonouchi continued, "He found out I didn't have enough work to pay rent and gave me a job at KaibaLand. That's the only reason I can afford to eat here right now."
"Oh, well...
"Does he at least... like you bacK?"
"No," Jonouchi lamented, resting his head on his folded arms, "He's never going to feel the same way I do, Anzu. It's too much to deal with...I'm sorry for spilling, it's just hard to think about. I don't have anyone else I can really talk to about it."
Out of all the people he knew, Anzu was the only one he could complain to about his boy troubles, even if she was probably more frustrated than anything. It wasn't like Jonouchi could help it. Why would he choose to love someone who didn't care the same way? He wasn't that masochistic.
"Why do you say that?" asked Anzu, "I mean, you two never got along well but... if he's been nice enough to win you over, I don't see why you can't do the same. I mean, if he likes you. You're not bad looking, Jonouchi. I always thought you were pretty cute, and I'm sure if you worked that charm on him, you could win him over, right?"
Maybe she was being too optimistic, but Anzu didn't like believing in unhappy endings.
"I don't see why you couldn't convince him. Have you asked him what he thinks of you?"
"Kind of," Jonouchi didn't want to reveal too much about that. He hadn't really asked Kaiba straight-up what he thought about him or how much he liked him. Right now, Kaiba treated him like he was a friend whose company he enjoyed (as much as Kaiba enjoyed anything) in and out of bed. That wasn't anywhere near how Jonouchi felt.
"I'm not sure if I could convince him..." Jonouchi muttered, but he was already wondering. He hadn't really considered trying. Would that even be possible? Maybe, if he appealed to Kaiba's inner romantic. But he wasn't exactly a romantic person himself, and he was so screwed up at the moment that he probably didn't have the capacity to shower anyone else with love.
Or, maybe he did. He hadn't exactly tried. Now that Anzu had mentioned the idea, it seemed glaringly obvious, actually. Jonouchi was astonished by himself. A few months ago, his first resort would have been trying to get Kaiba's affections with nice actions and words, and dates if he could get away with it.
He really was losing it, wasn't he?
"I don't know. I don't want to alienate him by trying, but at the same time...it might be worth it. I'm sure he won't be shy about telling me to quit it if it pisses him off."
"Well, could he like you?"
She didn't know if Kaiba went on both sides of the fence. It was confusing for him to be dining out with Mai one night, but then Jonouchi was lamenting over him like... Anzu wasn't even sure. People didn't just get crazy over another person without a little pushing, so something had to be going on between them that Jonouchi was keeping secret.
"I don't know. Maybe? If he does, he doesn't show...it?"
Or maybe he did. God, why did this have to be so hard...
"I don't want to mistake the things he does for him liking me," Jonouchi frowned, resting his chin on his arms, "He doesn't seem interested. I don't want to assume."
"Is he at least... a little gay? I mean if he is, then you should have some sort of chance, right?"
"Um," Jonouchi didn't know if he was at liberty to tell Anzu that. It was Kaiba's business. He was definitely at least a little gay. Jonouchi didn't have blurry lines about shit like that. If he was doing sexual things with a man, he was at least a little gay. Not that gay, since Jonouchi had to instigate it all most of the time, but still.
"If I can get his attention, then maybe," Jonouchi moved a tad in his seat, "But if he is into men that much, it doesn't exactly mean he'd be into me."
"Come on Jonouchi, give yourself more credit," teased Anzu, "You're just as good looking as he is, and with a better personality by far."
"Better personality than who?"
Jonouchi looked toward the restaurant. Mai had emerged and looked very curious about what was going on. Probably because she hadn't really seen Jonouchi upset so much since Duelist Kingdom.
"A lot of people," Jonouchi joked, trying to avoid telling her what was going on. Ironically, Mai would probably sympathize and have all kinds of advice, but he really didn't feel comfortable telling her. Even if they were good friends, they weren't that close. He was pretty sure any advice from Mai would be enough even to make him blush.
"Oh, come on Jonouchi, I'm not as dumb as I look," she laughed, twirling a strand of her blonde hair around her finger, "I won't stop pestering you until you tell me. May as well confess!"
"Mai, come on, leave him alone," scolded Anzu, "You're butting into a two-way conversation.
"I think you'll be fine Jonouchi," she encouraged, giving him a smile, "Just be yourself. You can be pretty charming when you want to be."
"Oh my god," Mai gasped, and Jonouchi knew already that she was about to embarrass him, "You're having girl problems!"
Jonouchi just laughed nervously and started sucking on his milkshake like he had a vendetta against it.
"Jonouchi, you shouldn't worry so much," Mai sniffed, "You've always been such a cute thing. Just show off a little and be confident."
"Yeah yeah, thanks Mai..."
"Also," she leaned across the table, holding her hand beside her mouth as if it would prevent Anzu from hearing, "If you really want to make someone like you, just go down on them one time."
Jonouchi choked on his drink as Mai laughed at his expense. He should have expected something like that from her, but honestly. So blunt. It wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't already done it, but he couldn't really help that...
"Well, I don't really have a problem with that. Anything else?"
He heard Anzu choking, and looked at her as Mai started patting her back.
"Are you okay?"
Anzu was still coughing as she nodded, but her slightly sour expression told him that he'd probably hear about this later.
"Jonouchi," Mai folded her hands and rested her chin on them, "How long have you been after this girl?"
"A couple of months, maybe?"
"What?" Mai looked appalled. "And she still won't go out with you?"
"I haven't exactly asked, Mai," Jonouchi bluttered. How was he supposed to ask Kaiba that? The man had made it obvious that he wasn't interested. At all.
"That was always your problem, Jonouchi!" She exclaimed, her tone chiding. "You have to take matters into your own hands. Make your intentions known."
"But Mai-"
"No buts!" She cut him off, holding his gaze sternly. Jonouchi sat quietly, realizing that there was probably no stopping her now. "If this girl intimidates you so much that you can't even ask her out, then have some self-respect and find someone else."
Jonouchi stared into his milkshake glass. It was a little funny, really. Mai had missed the point and hit the nail on the head at the same time. Maybe she could tell he had self-respect issues. Or, maybe she just understood relationships better than he did. She probably did. She'd never dated anyone who mistreated her, after all...
"I can't," he stated firmly, "She's too important to me."
"Then you'll have to prove it," Mai sniffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder, "A girl needs to know that you're not just yanking her around. Any guy can act nice long enough to get into your pants. You have to seem like you want more than that."
Jonouchi cleared his throat. That was relevant advice, he supposed. He hadn't really done much "bonding" with Kaiba, not in any way that would precede a romance. Jonouchi hadn't wanted to risk himself further by trying, especially while he was tangled up with Kitamura.
But it was good to remember for later.
"I don't think Jonouchi's exactly having that problem, right?" asked Anzu, looking at him pointedly and waiting for the answer, "This girl doesn't seem to be the type to drop her pants over a few nice words. Even if Jonouchi is 'cute'.
"Besides, I think Jonouchi would be more respectful than that."
Jonouchi didn't respond to that. It wasn't so much that he didn't respect Kaiba as... well, they were both men. It wasn't the same. They weren't even having intercourse, so it wasn't all that personal. Not as personal as it might be, and certainly not so much that it would require lots of thought.
It didn't seem like a big deal to him, but Kaiba seemed to be of the same mind as Anzu. Otherwise, they probably would have fucked by now...
"Or am I wrong?" Anzu gasped, her eyes getting big, "Are you two like...?"
She couldn't even finish the sentence before stuffing her face with food. Mai was rolling her eyes, but she had no idea what Jonouchi was talking about. Or rather, whom. Because the love interest he was lamenting over was no female...
"It doesn't matter how quickly she 'drops her pants' as long as Jonouchi treats her right afterward," she looked at Jonouchi as if warning him that he'd better not be a dick about it. She had no idea what his situation was, so it made sense, he supposed. If she knew, she'd probably be telling him to be careful and take his time. Not to give it up too quickly.
"Do you mean cuddling after?" Jonouchi smirked. "Because I'll never complain about doing that."
"Then what's the problem?" Mai demanded, seeming exasperated. "You're a good kid, Jonouchi, I've known you long enough to tell. You should be able to woo a girl if you like her that much."
"It's complicated."
"You're nineteen years old," Mai rolled her eyes, "It's probably not as complicated as you're making it."
"Don't get up on a pedestal, lady," Jonouchi stuck his tongue out at her. At least her dramatic delivery and good sense of humor kept him from feeling too awkward.
"Well, I think you shouldn't rush," butted in Anzu, still eating in a rather irritated manner, "It seems like you don't know enough about her yet to do anything hasty, and until you do, just slow down a little. I mean, you don't know what kind of mess you might be running into, if she doesn't like you, and we both know how complicated the situation is... So, I don't know. Take your time and be careful."
"Thanks," Jonouchi smiled, "I appreciate the advice. Even yours, Mai."
Mai snorted and rolled her eyes.
"I'll see what happens," he topped off his drink and set some money on the table for his meal.
"Let me know, Jonouchi, what happens," requested Anzu, frowning a little, "You can always talk to me. Anytime."
"You'll probably be hearing from me soon," he grinned, standing up. Yes, she would, most likely. One way or another. Hopefully it would be good news the next time.
Jonouchi said his goodbyes, knowing that the other two had plans for the day. He didn't really want to get pecked at by Mai any further, anyway. He knew she was trying to help, but she didn't know enough about what was happening. Her advice might be good if what she thought was true, but with Kaiba...
It was complicated. Even if he was only nineteen years old, shit was really complicated. His whole life had become very crazy in a very short time, and when he thought about it, the trigger had probably been the night he slept with Kitamura. Or, that Kitamura took advantage of him. Whichever it was, it all began that night.
So what was he going to do about it?
Nothing, it seemed. The most he could do now was try to keep Kaiba out of it until he got his shit together. It would suck not fooling around with him, but that was the way it would have to be for a while. Hopefully he'd have the opportunity to vie for Kaiba's affections after he got over...what was happening. He didn't even know what was happening anymore. He couldn't justify or excuse it, but he couldn't stop, either. It was like watching the meth-addicted neighbor he'd had. Well, before the man had blown himself up trying to cook it in his bathtub.
What was he going to do now? He preferred to avoid home, even if his computer was there. He didn't have internet, and he didn't feel like sitting in a room alone playing duel monsters against himself. Maybe Kaiba or Mokuba would be free later. It was afternoon now, so if he waited another six hours...
Maybe Kaiba would get off early. It was a Friday. He knew he was probably busy getting ready for his convention, but there was still a slim chance. Better to go there too early and come back later than come too late, right?
Jonouchi walked the few blocks to central, where the Kaiba Corporation tower stood like a sentinel. It was at the very heart of the city.