Kaiba was working again, cruising through his work load without stopping for a break. It was the best way to get things done, and reviewing through Mokuba's tasks, he ensured that everything was set for the convention that would start by the end of next month. He wanted things to go smoothly, especially since Mokuba would be hosting it and Kaiba was planning to stay in the back to watch.
His brother was old enough to take more leadership, and he didn't want him thinking he had no faith in his abilities. Mokuba was young, but very smart, and putting his skills to the test, Kaiba swore to stay back and just observe. He wouldn't impede on what his brother's plans were, but would stay close and help if asked to assist.
There was still daily things that needed to be cared for from an executive level too, and typing away at his computer, it came as a small surprise when he got a buzz from one of his assistants alerting him of a guest.
"Kaiba-sama, you have a visitor waiting for you in the lobby."
It piqued his interest. Most people didn't come so late in the day, and replying to the message, he told his assistant to just allow the visitor into his office, so he could take care of whatever they wanted before he left the office, which he planned on doing within the hour.
He just had to do a double take when it ended up being Jonouchi Katsuya who had showed up.
"I didn't know you had scheduled a meeting with me," teased Kaiba, sitting back in his chair and crossing his leg, "Any reason for this intrusion?"
"I was gonna wait in the lobby," Jonouchi shrugged, deciding to sit in a chair in front of Kaiba's desk, "But they brought me over here instead."
Jonouchi hadn't expected the security to approach him like that, and he'd thought he was in some trouble when they first approached him. Turned out he was just being lead to the CEO's office. He had to be accompanied up the elevator, just in case he got any funny ideas. What was some punk like him gonna do? Sneak into a cubicle and jack someone's computer?
"I'm free for the rest of the day if you wanna hang out. Mokuba says he's preoccupied, so I figured I'd see what you were up to."
"I'll be done in half an hour," replied Kaiba, his eyes returning to his computer screen, "And then I'm going to get dinner and drive home. Were you planning on staying over again then? Because I'm starting to think I should be charging you rent for how many times you've been sleeping over at my house."
Jonouchi shifted in his seat, feeling his cheeks burning from embarrassment, but he didn't let it show. Since when did he care? Normally he'd laugh off something like that.
"You can drop me off at the hotel, Kaiba."
"That's too much work."
"You're the only person I've ever met who takes someone home because doing otherwise is "too much work"," Jonouchi snickered, sitting back in the chair. If they were going to be here for another thirty minutes, he may as well relax. Although, the time might be prolonged if he kept distracting Kaiba with chatter. He was surprised he wasn't annoyed yet, to be honest. He still remembered bugging him in his office at home that one night.
"What's for dinner? Can I come with, or are you gonna be a food snob and go someplace where I can't get in?"
"Why would I offer to take you home if I was just going to shun you?" asked Kaiba, scoffing and shaking his head, "I'm not planning on going anywhere too fancy. Just sushi for dinner, and no where that ritzy since you're not exactly dressed for uptown. Don't worry about it. You'll get your damn dinner..."
Jonouchi just grinned, crossing his legs and settling down to wait. He liked watching Kaiba, acting all polite like it was common sense for him to. It allowed Jonouchi a small sense of gratification.
He somehow managed not to be too fidgety in the office. Supporting his head with his hand, he let his elbow rest on the arm of the chair, and he waited with his eyes closed for Kaiba to finish working. The rhythmic sound of his fingers flying over the keys was nice background noise. Jonouchi wished he could just chill up there whenever he was alone and unpreoccupied after work, but it would be a bad idea to ask. Kaiba probably had private meetings in here during the day, anyway.
Jonouchi sighed. Not that he didn't want to go home with the guy, but keeping at bay instead of jumping Kaiba's bones every moment would be difficult. It would be a bold-faced lie to say he didn't want to, of course. Jonouchi wanted to fool around all the time. But he couldn't. It wasn't right. He wouldn't be able to tell Kaiba the real reason, for changing his mind, but Kaiba probably wouldn't notice. It wasn't like the guy was jonesing after him.
He still couldn't wrap his mind around what to do with Kitamura. He texted about once a day to have brief conversations. Usually he asked how Jonouchi was doing, as if it was his business constantly checking up on him. It got on Jonouchi's nervous. The man's constant nagging over his well being was near suffocating, asking if he needed money despite dumping tens of thousands on him days before. He made Kaiba look almost normal...
Maybe next time he saw Kitamura, Jonouchi would tell him to fuck off for good. He didn't really have to be mean about it. That hadn't worked the first time. He'd have to figure something out. He hadn't heard anything about Kitamura coming to town soon, but it would happen eventually. Jonouchi would have to try again when he returned. Probably. If he could find his balls again. Maybe Kitamura had them in his briefcase with all those fucking condoms.
He opened his eyes and looked at Kaiba, who was shutting his laptop off. Jonouchi sighed in relief. He'd rather skip off with Kaiba and forget about it all. There'd be time to think over the bullshit about Kitamura later on. The worst part of it, in Jonouchi's opinion, was that he was determined to be rid of him all the time except when he was actually face to face with the guy. It was aggravating that he couldn't do anything to stop himself from being lead around like a dog on a leash.
"Are we leaving yet?" He asked Kaiba, standing and stretching. He typically sit still for that long.
"Yes, I'm done for now."
Kaiba placed his computer into his briefcase and got his papers together before locking the case and picking it up and leaving the room. This time though he wasn't rushing so much to get out of the office, turning off the nights behind him and glancing over at the illuminating skyline view that stood behind his desk. It was nice to look at, and turning around, Kaiba looked another last time before leaving and shutting the door behind Jonouchi.
Kaiba Corporation was mostly empty. People typically left an hour before, since it was six by then, and he only passed a few roving security who were in the hallways before reaching the executive elevator and riding down into the parking garage.
There stood his red Ferrari, waiting for him, and Kaiba unlocked the door and got inside before putting his case in the back seat and waiting for Jonouchi to get his seatbelt on. He pulled out quickly, speeding a bit more than what was appropriate in the city, and it amused him when Jonouchi sat next to him gritting his teeth, a bundle of nerves, while he rushed through Domino before finding the small sushi place he was looking for.
"We're here," he said, alerting Jonouchi and finding a parking space after some searching (or rather, alerting the restaurant of his arrival, they knew what his car looked like), and he waltzed into the place before finding a booth in the back to sit at.
Jonouchi followed behind until they got to their table. He was hoping he had enough money on hand to get a decent amount of plates for himself. Sushi tended to stay with him, but he also tended to be pretty hungry. Fortunately, the job he had at KaibaLand paid twice what he was making at the soba restaurant. Now he usually had more spare cash than he knew what to do with.
Looking at the computer menu near their seat, Jonouchi decided to order some gyoza. Salmon was definitely his favorite when it came to sushi, so hopefully a lot of it would go by in the conveyerbelt so he could pig out a little.
"I didn't think you ate in places like this," Jonouchi mused, "It's not that expensive at all. I figured you wanted to go to a fancy place where they prepare everything in front of you."
He snickered. Kaiba wasn't all that much of a snob, but it was fun to pick at him.
"This is just as fine. I like hole in the wall places where only the locals know about it," said Kaiba as he rolled his eyes, "I don't like spending a lot of money on overpriced meals I could get at home. This is just nice for a little change. Besides, I don't have to talk to anyone while I'm here."
Kaiba didn't like feeling watched when he ate out. People sometimes stared at the nicer restaurants because they felt like someone like him would be there to watch. His celebrity status as a duelist was irritating at best sometimes.
"I let the chef go home early tonight, so I had to eat out or cook for myself. And I hate cooking."
"You hate cooking?" Jonouchi tilted his head. "Are you just bad at it, or what?"
Jonouchi certainly didn't mind cooking. There was a sense of satisfaction that came with preparing food himself, especially since that meant getting it the way he liked it specifically. Still, he was too lazy most the time, or too broke to afford food that might spoil.
Jonouchi paused when a waitress appeared to take their drink orders. Once she left, he turned back to Kaiba. His elbows were on the table, which was terrible form, but he knew Kaiba wouldn't care.
"Nevermind ... I'm more interested about night," said Jonouchi. "All I've seen you do at home is work, drink, and sleep."
"That's what it's there for," snorted Kaiba, picking at the starter sampler that passed by him on the belt line before he'd grabbed it, "I don't really do that much else at home. Not anything of importance, I get much of my work done at the office, or else I'm in my study. That's pretty much it. It's not like I duel much anymore."
He didn't have a social life, either, nor did he waste time getting his nose into things that didn't really interest him. Kaiba Corporation was a full job and a half, so most of his time was dedicated to his company, or trying to keep his brother out of trouble. There wasn't much else left by the end of the day to do, besides those things, which was why he looked at Jonouchi with a rather puzzled expression.
"What would you expect me to be doing?"
"I don't know," Jonouchi muttered, "Most people have hobbies outside of working themselves into an early grave, you know. Don't you ever just do things for fun?"
Of course he didn't. Kaiba hadn't even played Duel Monsters for fun. Except maybe to feed his personal brand of fun, which was making other people feel like shit when he was being vindictive and mean. Then again, that wasn't overly uncommon in the gaming world. It was about the competition, and it wasn't usual for players to be good sports. Yugi had been very different, in that regard.
"You have to do something for yourself, Kaiba. Let that big brain of yours chill some. Alcohol doesn't always need to be the thing that does it..."
"Sometimes I zone out to classical music. But not often."
"You're so upper-class it hurts a little," Jonouchi groaned, rubbing his eyes, "Classical music? Are you serious? You're like the perfect cliche sometimes."
"Are you disappointed to learn, Jonouchi, that I'm actually a boring person?" inquired Kaiba, raising an eyebrow, "I find orchestral music relaxing. It helps me settle my mind before I go to sleep, since I'm alone most of the time so I'll do what I know works. Especially since people say drinking in excess is bad for one's health...
"I like playing chess sometimes, too. But Mokuba is the only person who can keep up with me, and he doesn't enjoy the game as much as I do."
"At least that's something," Jonouchi snorted, "I don't think you're boring, Kaiba. You're just... I don't know. You don't do much for yourself. It wouldn't kill you to act twenty for once in your life..."
He didn't know if Kaiba was just naturally the kind of person who didn't play much, but that was unlikely. A person had to learn that kind of restraint. It was natural to procrastinate work and want to do things that were technically 'useless' but had more intrinsic value. Kaiba didn't seem to begrudge his work, but it couldn't be anything that stimulated him that much. Not like real fun could. Otherwise, maybe he wouldn't drink so much.
"If you don't think movies are too dumb for you, we should watch something together," Jonouchi suggested. He wouldn't exactly blame Kaiba if he found movies stupid, in all honesty. Jonouchi knew he had bad taste, but that was probably because he was mostly interested in action and adventure. That particular genre didn't care much about quality. Still, on the occasion that Jonouchi was able to fish through a video rental store for something to watch, he usually found something halfway decent.
"I don't really care for films that much."
He glanced away from the table before Kaiba loaded up the table with a bunch of platters from the belt line. He had grabbed miso soup, edamame, and small ginger salads. Kaiba immediately started at the soup, sipping straight from the bowl, and he ate the tofu in the bottom silently as Jonouchi just stared at him.
It was a little awkward. He felt like Jonouchi was trying to feel him out, and Kaiba didn't exactly know how to feel about that. There wasn't anything wrong with him, for not really going out of his way to do things. Really, he was too busy for a social life outside of his job, and the only 'hobbies' he really liked were things that actually had something to do with business. Like playing duel monsters or crunching numbers for work. And sometimes watching theatre, because it was sometimes required of him, and Kaiba could sit through music concerts without complaint as long as they were well done.
"What are you interested in, then?" Jonouchi asked before stopping to eat a piece of salmon nigiri. "And don't say nothing, I won't believe you. You're too smart to be interested in just droning through work all the time."
Jonouchi didn't really consider himself an intellectual. He considered Anzu one, however, and he knew she was interested in all kinds of things that he personally didn't think about on a daily basis. Art, history, theater, things like that. Not that Jonouchi couldn't enjoy pretty much anything , but those weren't the first things on his mind when he thought 'entertainment'.
"Come on, there must be something," Jonouchi smiled, "You don't need to look so annoyed with me asking..."
"I don't think the things that interest me would interest you much at all," explained Kaiba, "I enjoy reading old books and listening to foreign theatre. Especially operas, and I know you think that shit is gay, so you don't even have to tell me. It's what I've been introduced to at an early age, and I found it... engaging."
"Operas?" Jonouchi's brow creased.
"Especially Italian operas."
"I don't know Italian," Jonouchi muttered, eating another piece of salmon again, "But if that's what you're into, you know, I'd try it with you. I've never really seen an opera before. Can't promise I can talk to you about it afterward, but I'd go."
The way Anzu described opera, it sounded like a whole lot of whining to Jonouchi. Watching rich people whine about their lives didn't appeal to him that much. Still, she claimed the music was good. Maybe if he could understand what they were saying, he wouldn't care so much. He did like a good performance, after all.
"And I don't think it's "gay". It just proves that you're upper class..."
"My mother liked music," continued Kaiba, now actually actively eating from his collection of plates instead of just picking at the sushi with his chopsticks awkwardly, "She liked chamber music and used to play piano and cello in the house. Cello was what she was best at, but I was too small to learn, so she taught me piano instead..."
There was actually a grand piano in the Kaiba Mansion, but Kaiba didn't often play it. He had it stored away where no one could mess with it, since Gozaburo usually kept instruments as statement pieces instead of actually using them for their true purpose. Once Gozaburo had died, Kaiba went searching for his mother's old piano and cello.
Kaiba had found them too, after a long time. It was hard, trying to get those old relics of the past, but he had managed to bring them home, storing them where they couldn't be bothered. Even Mokuba didn't know about them. Bringing up their mother was too painful, so Kaiba just found it easier keeping a small piece of her with him, but just for himself. It was better letting that pain stay with him than burdening his brother with it, or so he believed.
Jonouchi was stunned that Kaiba had mentioned his mother. It seemed like a bit of a sore spot, from the wistful way he spoke about her, and the fact that he didn't look up while he talked. Maybe it wasn't a safe topic for discussion. He wasn't sure quite how to react.
"So, does that mean you can still play the piano?"
That would be interesting. Maybe Kaiba didn't play anymore, but he probably still remembered how to. Jonouchi didn't know much about Gozaburo, but from the way Kaiba had spoken about him before, he didn't seem like the type to allow music lessons for fun.
"Yes, I can play piano," Kaiba answered. "I just chose not to anymore. I'd rather listen to people who are far more talented than I am at this point in time."
"Oh."
Jonouchi felt like he'd hit a nerve somehow. Something seemed off about Kaiba's tone. He decided not to press, in case it put Kaiba off, but he resolved to try finding out later. "Well, I like music. I'm not even sure what 'chamber music' is, but I'll listen to anything. I didn't know you were into artsy stuff. You and Anzu would get along great together, actually. She likes all the samethings.."
That reminded him, Anzu actually wanted to meet up with Kaiba, didn't she?
"Speaking of Anzu," Jonouchi continued, "I saw her recently and she wants to say hello to you sometime..."
"What?"
Kaiba's face twisted up slightly. Why would he want to talk to Anzu? They were acquaintances, and getting a little irritated, Kaiba snorted before stuffing his mouth with more food. Being around more people on a personal basis didn't interest him. It was hard enough getting used to Jonouchi sometimes, but dealing with another member of the friendship squad didn't interest him. She was especially self-righteous sometimes, too, he could remember that well. The last thing Kaiba wanted was for her to decide to go off on him about something again.
"I'm not looking into hanging around people I don't even like," replied Kaiba sullenly.
"What do you mean 'people you don't even like'?" Jonouchi bristled. Maybe he liked Kaiba enough to ignore some of the dumb stuff he'd say on occassion (most of the time), but Jonouchi wasn't going to let him just blow Anzu off. "Anzu's done a lot for you and Mokuba. You shouldn't be so rude about her wanting to check up on you. She just wants to see how you're doing. It's not like you haven't known each other for five years..."
"Jonouchi, she's annoying. Almost as annoying as you are sometimes, and I don't need to guilt trip myself into hanging out with her. I have more important things to be doing with my time, like running an international company," ranted Kaiba. "I'm not obligated to spend time around people who irritate me, even if they did do a few good deeds in my favor. I'm not indebted to her."
"Not indebted?" Jonouchi said with a frown. "I didn't say you owed her anything, I'm just saying there's no reason for you to be an asshole about it. And what do you mean, she's "almost as annoying as me"?"
He leaned across the table, his chopsticks now pointing threateningly at Kaiba's chest.
"You can be as much of an asshole as you want on your own time, Kaiba," he muttered, glaring directly at him, "But don't insult Anzu in front of me. She's a better person than you could ever hope to be."
Kaiba didn't say anything. He just snorted before wiping his mouth, thinking internally if he actually wanted to deal with Jonouchi for the rest of the night or not. His attitude was at best obnoxious, and Kaiba was not obligated to spend time with people who he didn't even like, Jonouchi be damned. That part of his life was over now, and throwing some money onto the table, he got up and left outside before leaning against the side of the building, taking out a pack of cigarettes.
Leaving Jonouchi at the restaurant over a stupid argument wouldn't help things, but he didn't feel like talking to him at the moment. Not over something as stupid as calling Anzu annoying. She was annoying, at least to Kaiba, with how she got in everyone's faces trying to tell them how to act when she didn't have the full story about anyone. Her know-it-all attitude was tiring, and if Jonouchi wanted to deal with it, fine. Good for him. That was his friend, not Kaiba's.
Besides, wasn't he the one who ensured Jonouchi didn't have to continue selling himself out to the guy that had raped him? Better person his ass...
Inside the restaurant, Jonouchi ended up losing his appetite and began tapping his chopsticks against the table, stewing. He wondered if Kaiba had actually left, or just stepped out. If he had left, then Jonouchi fully intended to keep eating and see how much Kaiba had left behind. Might as well, since Kaiba probably left behind too much money.
Still, it was too early to know. He sat, feeling a simmering rage in his chest. He tried to control his breathing. Honestly, Jonouchi was probably more angry than he should be. He knew how Kaiba was, and he hadn't been that awful. Not good, by any means, but he could have said worse. Not that it was acceptable for him to be so rude, in Jonouchi's opinion, but at least he was trying...
Jonouchi snorted, internally chiding himself for always making excuses for people doing slightly less bad things than they could be. That was no way to deal with people in his life, was it?
But he felt bad for snapping at Kaiba. He shouldn't have insulted him, not like that. Jonouchi couldn't really help being defensive about his friends, but Kaiba was also his friend. If Anzu had done the same, he would have told her off, too. It wasn't personal. It just really irritated him that Kaiba would say something like that without filter. Jonouchi had almost forgotten just what an asshole he still was. If Jonouchi was smart, he would have left the restaurant.
But being pissed at him didn't stop him from being irrationally smitten.
Getting up, Jonouchi wanted to get up and see if he could find him to apologize... But he didn't want to go speak him out, either. So he sat and waited, sighing as his anger melted into brooding. Which was fairly regular for Jonouchi, but he didn't have to like it. He didn't know if he should be glad or pissed that he always felt guilty for shit. Kaiba never appeared to, and he was doing fine. Neither did Kitamura, and he was pretty much floating through life...
But Jonouchi didn't really want to be like Kitamura. So maybe it was for the best.
Kaiba came back inside once he finished his cigarette, the nicotine working to cool his anger before he sat back down and ate his food. His eyes didn't look up at Jonouchi, just focusing on his plate as he continued eating what was in front of him. Maybe the silence was awkward, but it was better than bitching at each other from across the table.
Jonouchi could probably smell the smoke on his clothes, but it didn't matter. Kaiba wasn't a chain smoker, and he rarely ever indulged himself. It was something he only did when pissed off, and usually that was only one cigarette a week, most of the time even less than that.
Jonouchi looked up at Kaiba shyly before sighing. He wasn't sure what to say. Kaiba was a hard person to apologize to, in Jonouchi's opinion. It wasn't as if he'd refused an apology, but they were both stubborn, as evidenced by their equal reluctance to speak or make eye contact.
It took a few minutes, but Jonouchi worked up his nerve and set his chopsticks down, looking across the table at Kaiba. His eyes were deliberately focused on his plate. It was so strange, having an argument with him now. A few months ago, Kaiba probably would have stared him down and insulted him before leaving. This was different. Jonouchi wasn't sure what to make of it, because of how awkward it was, but at least Kaiba hadn't left him.
"Kaiba," Jonouchi addressed quietly, trying to look non-threatening. He could put away his pride long enough to try to apologize. Kaiba sure as fuck wasn't going to. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. And for what I said. That wasn't exactly true..."
Sitting there with his leg crossed, Kaiba didn't reply back. He just sat there and stared at the food, poking at the piece of tuna in front of him before flicking it. No one really ever apologized to him, and Kaiba didn't know the proper way to respond, so silence was what he was most comfortable with. It was better than saying the wrong thing and offending Jonouchi, so he decided to just keep his mouth shut.
"I mean," Jonouchi muttered, not sure if Kaiba was still pissed or not. Kaiba appeared so sullen. It reminded Jonouchi a little of a scolded child, except taller and with slightly cooler eyes. He didn't look angry, but Jonouchi wasn't sure if he was over it or not. "I'm not gonna listen to you insult my friends, but I overreacted. I know you didn't mean anything by it, really, and as your friend I should have taken that into account.
"If someone else was talking smack about you, I would have said the same thing to them, so I hope you don't think I'm picking on you or whatever..."
Jonouchi decided to stop babbling. He didn't want to sit there staring at Kaiba while running his mouth. That would probably just annoy him, and Jonouchi didn't want to put him off further. Kaiba was the only person he'd ever had this much trouble being friends with. Even Anzu's judgmental words and actions didn't get under his skin as much as the stuff that came out of Kaiba's mouth. Jonouchi didn't know what it was about Kaiba. Maybe it was just that Jonouchi cared too much. With everyone else, he could relax with them. The things they said just didn't bother him so much.
With Kaiba, it was different. Everything he said mattered to Jonouchi. Before, there was no real reason for it. He admired Kaiba back then, but that was all there was to it. Now, though...well, his words held a lot more weight since Jonouchi was into him.
"I'm almost done," muttered Kaiba, eating his last piece of fish before wiping his hands, "And it's late. Are you ready to leave?"
"Uh," Jonouchi looked at what was left of his sushi and quickly finished it off. Since when did Kaiba finish eating before him? "Yes, I am."
He tried not to look too happy about the fact that Kaiba wasn't leaving him there, but he ended up smiling broadly all the same. It wasn't like he was smug. Just relieved.
Jonouchi figured Kaiba might be brooding still, and even if not, he probably didn't want to be harassed through the entire drive. Jonouchi definitely didn't want to smother him, especially after things got a little tense. Kaiba liked his quiet. That had been made very clear in the past, and Jonouchi would have to learn to work with that. He preferred to fully engage with people while he was with them. It was part of why people liked him so easily; he gave them full attention and treated them like they were worthwhile. Most people liked that.
Still, everyone was different. Kaiba didn't seem to give a fuck whether he was being spoken to or not. Just Jonouchi being in the room seemed to count as company in his book, so he'd have to try not to make his presence suffocating.
When they got to the mansion, Jonouchi followed Kaiba to the front doors. Kaiba still didn't speak, and Jonouchi wondered if he was just unsure of what to say or if he just felt like not speaking at all. He didn't even know what they were going to do. Kaiba might just skip off to his study and lock the door, and Jonouchi would have to find something else to entertain himself with. He could deal with that, it was Kaiba's house. Besides, not being around each other would make Jonouchi less tempted to have sex with him, especially since he'd promised himself he wouldn't anymore.
The mansion was massive, and Jonouchi didn't want to go wandering alone, however. Since Kaiba didn't stop him from following, Jonouchi trailed him through the house, wondering what was on the agenda. Kaiba seemed more focused than angry, so maybe he wasn't speaking because he had something on his mind.
But then he turned a corner and went into his study, locking himself into the room. It was ridiculously rude, and Jonouchi hated having the door shut in his life. Angry, he banged on it a few times, yelling furiously.
"If you wanted alone time, all you had to do was ask, you drama queen," Jonouchi spat, "Thanks for dinner, jerk."
Well, fuck him.
Fuming, Jonouchi had gone to the guest room to shower and get into bed, since there wasn't much else to do in the mansion while Mokuba was seemingly in bed. Kaiba had locked himself in his study to do god knew what alone, so Jonouchi assumed he was preoccupied for the night and tried not to feel too rejected. Kaiba didn't owe him anything, really. If he needed his space, Jonouchi would have to give it to him.
He sighed, getting under the blankets in the comfy bed. He couldn't help being down about it, really, but it wasn't Kaiba's fault. Or was it Kaiba's fault? Jonouchi didn't know; he was head-over-heels in-love with him and had increasingly became completely ridiculous over it. He decided to try going to sleep instead of figuring out dumb ways to excuse Kaiba's behavior, even though he wasn't tired in the slightest.
Jonouchi didn't have much success, and ended up staring at the darkened ceiling for quite a while.
It was maybe an hour or two after he got into bed that he heard noises in the hallway. Jonouchi sat up, worrying that there was somehow an intruder. And a very clumsy, noisy one at that. It turned out his concerns were unnecessary. The door opened a bit quickly, and Jonouchi could make out Kaiba's silhouette against the light of the hallway that was shining into the room.
"Kaiba?" Jonouchi felt his heart speed up a little bit, simply because he was spooked. What was he there for? Was he still pissed? Jonouchi was hoping that wasn't the case. "You could have knocked first, you know."
"Why are you in here?" Kaiba asked in a slurred, confused voice. Walking over to the bed, he sat on the side before huffing. "Come to bed, it's late now and I'm tired..."
Jonouchi was giving him odd looks, but Kaiba didn't seem to notice. He was far too gone to get offended. "I'm fine right here. You go without me."
"I don't want to," Kaiba slurred with a pout. "Why are you hiding in here? Is my bedroom really too scary for you now?"
He moved over towards Jonouchi, smirking and getting right up in his face before bumping noses and slumping over to lay on his chest. "I told you before, it's not haunted."
"Says you," Jonouchi muttered, stunned a bt from having Kaiba fall on his chest, but he didn't complain. If Kaiba felt like snuggling up, Jonouchi really wasn't angry enough to stop him. He ran his fingers through his hair, fully aware that Kaiba must be drunk. Otherwise he wouldn't be here to begin with, most likely. He'd probably been in his study drinking alone. "I know why you locked me out. Would have been nice if you'd said something before closing the door in my face."
He combed his fingers through Kaiba's hair, feeling a little tingly when the other man's hand somewhat clumsily landed on his bare side. Was Kaiba planning to pass out in here with him? Jonouchi wasn't opposed to carrying him back to his bedroom and then returning. Then again, Kaiba was drunk, and someone needed to be there to watch him.
"'I'm sorry for upsetting you at the restaurant, and shutting the door in your face," sighed Kaiba, his voice lamenting while dropping his head on Jonouchi's chest, closing his eyes, "I needed to have a drink, and I didn't want you angry with me for doing it."
Jonouchi snorted. "Kaiba, I don't get mad when you drink. I get upset about why you drink. You're allowed to have your vices, I just worry about you."
He was probably sounding ridiculous, but who cared? Kaiba was apparently drunk off his ass and most likely wouldn't remember what was going on for at least eight hours. And he sounded so genuinely bothered that Jonouchi felt like he should try to comfort him.
"I'm fine," lied Kaiba, smirking a little as he blinked his eyes open, "I can handle myself."
He glanced at the bedroom door, before looking back at Jonouchi intensively.
"Come to my bedroom, Jonouchi. I want to make the night up to you."
"Ugh," Jonouchi tried to protest, but Kaiba was already in the process of clumsily standing and tugging him along as he went. Jonouchi sighed and followed him, figuring Kaiba just wanted to go to his room and would probably end up passing out when he got there. He hoped so, anyway. If he wanted to do anything else, Jonouchi might panic.
When they got to Kaiba's bedroom, Jonouchi wondered if Kaiba was sober enough to get undressed or would he have to undress him like the time he'd taken Kaiba up to his hotel room some months ago. Jonouchi didn't want him flipping shit if he ended up having to do it for him. Before he could follow that line of thought though, he felt a hard shove on his chest, and he fell onto the bed, wind rushing out of his lungs. He watched Kaiba with wide eyes in the low light of the bedroom. The lights were off except from a very dim lamp on a desk by one of the windows. The light was blue, probably more intended for atmosphere than visibility.
"What's gotten into you?" Jonouchi asked nervously. Shit, any other time, this would be the most exciting thing in the world. Now it was just frightening, not because Kaiba scared him, but because Jonouchi was afraid of what he'd do. "If you're trying to start a brawl," joked Jonouchi, "just know that I will win."
"Doubtful," said Kaiba, grinning as he crawled over the bed on all fours, "I felt bad about shutting you out, after that whole thing during dinner. You were really upset and I want to fix that."
Jonouchi could feel his face burning up as Kaiba took off his shirt and threw it to the floor. He was deliberately exposing his chest definition. Kaiba wasn't shy about showing off his body when he wanted something from someone, Jonouchi knew that, and Kaiba glanced at Jonouchi's shocked face before taking off his belt and sliding his pants off from his hips and onto the floor. Now he was near naked, kicking off his socks, and he moved to open up Jonouchi's legs before sliding between them and breathing against his neck.
"I think it would be a great idea to just make up and have sex right now," he said, still smirking as his nose rubbed against Jonouchi's jaw, "It's what you really want and it'll make you feel better."
Jonouchi's heart was beating so quickly, and so heavily, that he thought it might burst from his chest. He was breathing rapidly in panic, his eyes wide as he cursed profusely in his mind. Was this a dream? It had to be another dream. This wasn't happening in real life.
If it was a dream, he could go along with Kaiba's plans and give no fucks because there would be no consequences. But he knew better, unfortunately, and it was killing him. Everything he wanted offered to him on a silver platter, and he'd have to say no. He couldn't have sex with Kaiba like this. That would screw up everything, for both of them. If it was going to happen one day, Jonouchi didn't want it to be out of pity.
"Kaiba, we can't," he barely managed to speak without stammering, his body shuddering when Kaiba nipped at his neck. Did he have to make it so hard? Jonouchi wasn't that good at staying strong while being tempted. The only thing keeping him under control at that very moment was the knowledge of how disgruntled Kaiba would be if he woke up the next day no longer a virgin. "You're drunk. Don't you remember what you told me before? We can't have sex. It would mean more to me than you'd want it to."
He immediately regretted trying to ward Kaiba off then. Sighing a terrible combination of elation and fear when Kaiba grinded into him, Jonouchi tried to pull away, very obviously already aroused by the contact. How could he resist this? Kaiba was coming after him for sex. There was pretty much nothing else he wanted more out of life at that moment.
"Kaiba, please," he begged, "We can't."
Pausing, Kaiba pulled back before huffing. Then he just moved away, defeatedly, before lying on his side of the bed.
"Don't be upset," Jonouchi sat up, looking at Kaiba and trying not to flinch too much. He felt a horrible ache in his chest, and he was so tempted to give up and let Kaiba have his way with him that he could barely focus. "I want you. I really want you, Kaiba. It drives me half insane sometimes..."
He felt his fingers shaking and clutched the sheets, trying to get a hold on himself. Why did this happen now, of all times? Couldn't it have been earlier? Couldn't it have been sometime when Kaiba was sober, and Jonouchi knew it was because Kaiba really wanted him and not because he was too drunk to think past a boner?
"But not like this," Jonouchi slumped over, resting his forehead on Kaiba's chest. He felt the corners of his eyes stinging and breathed deeply to ward it off. "You were right. It's fucked up to fool around while seeing someone else, even if it's just a shitty relationship. I don't want to string you along. I don't want to do that to you... I haven't been completely honest about things in my life right now."
"But doesn't your happiness matter to you?" interrupted Kaiba, looking up at Jonouchi and smirking, "I could make you so happy, and you're not going to let me because? Why? You like being miserable?"
"I hate being miserable" Jonouchi lamented. If Kaiba didn't care about Kitamura among other things, Jonouchi would sleep with him in a second. He didn't care about the moral repercussions but he did care about Kaiba's feelings. "If you were sober, you wouldn't be interested in doing this. Especially if you knew who I was with-"
He cut himself off, feeling too uncomfortable to continue.
"I'm sorry for the disappointment," Jonouchi murmured, "But I know how you'd feel in the morning."
"It's fine," sighed Kaiba, closing his eyes and snorting to himself, "If you don't want to, I'll just have to wait until you change your mind... You should dump whoever this guy is, if he's standing in your way. He's obviously not doing anything for you, if you're running off to me."
He flicked Jonouchi's nose as he said that, Kaiba still too drunk to realize just how upset he was making Jonouchi over the situation. Kaiba was smiling like a fool, too. The alcohol was making him feel giddy and happy for once so he didn't want to be alone to brood in the dark, and he didn't understand why Jonouchi had to be so dour about being with him. Usually he was upbeat. They would have had the most amazing sex, if he wasn't so depressed.
"You should dump him for me," he advised, playing with a lock of Jonouchi's hair, "You should leave him and then we could do whatever we wanted to. Would that make you happy?"
Jonouchi burst out laughing, not because the situation was funny, but because... he was trying not to lose it.
"Fuck off, Kaiba," he laughed, and he heard Kaiba snort, "You're gonna make me cry."
Why couldn't he say anything like that when he was sober?
"Of course it would make me happy," Jonouchi sighed. "I would have assumed you knew that. But it doesn't matter. You're drunk. You don't even like me that much, Kaiba. Not the way I like you, and certainly not enough to date me. Don't tease me by saying things like that..."
Damn it all. Why couldn't it always be like this? Kaiba chasing him down for sex and telling him to dump his boyfriend for him. If he said anything like that in his right mind, Jonouchi would probably do it in a heartbeat. He'd give Kaiba whatever he wanted, if he really meant it.
"Don't say things you want to hear?" Kaiba teased, still playing with Jonouchi's hair, "Why not? You're not happy. Not like how you were back in high school, and I think we could have a good time together if you'd just drop whoever is bothering you. I could make you happy. Obviously he's not good enough to keep you from wandering back to me, and I don't care if I'm drunk," Kaiba sniffed, "I'm right. You want me. And I want you, so I don't see any reason not to just do it already."
"You wouldn't say that if you knew everything that was going on," Jonouchi insisted hopelessly. Kaiba was turned on, and Jonouchi knew it. Anything that led to sex seemed like a good idea when someone's penis was doing the thinking.
"Kaiba, you wouldn't want to touch me if you knew how fucked up my situation was. You know the worst part? I would dump him just so I could have you, if you asked me tomorrow. I definitely would, if it meant you'd have sex with me. I don't even need the promise of a relationship. How messed up is that? I have zero self-respect anymore."
He sighed, his breath shaky and warm against Kaiba's chest. The hair touching made him feel a little better, but not enough to relax.
"I can't leave him, and I don't know why," he admitted defeatedly. Fuck his life if Kaiba remembered this in the morning. He was going to be upset, Jonouchi knew it. "I don't even know why I can't let him go. I hate him, and I can't drop him. What the fuck is wrong with me? He just keeps coming back and I don't know how to make him stop."
"He doesn't matter," mused Kaiba, "If you'd leave him for a one nighter with me?"
"It's terrible," Jonouchi huffed, "I want you. I'm desperate. It's not like I haven't made it obvious before..."
"Jonouchi, everyone wants to have sex with me..."
"No, you don't understand," Jonouchi grumbled, his voice rising against his will, "It's not just because I want the sex."
Kaiba hadn't really understood the last time Jonouchi tried to talk to him about it, but Jonouchi hadn't been very informative, either. He'd been too wary of the consequences at the time, but at this point, it was futile to be concerned. He was going to get into trouble in the morning anyway, once Kaiba was normal again.
"... Kaiba, I'm in love with you," Jonouchi admitted quietly. "Have been for a while. I appreciate that you aren't freaked out by my "crush", but..."
But his indifference was painful.
Kaiba appeared stunned at first, his mouth slack jawed before he closed it.
"I didn't think it was that serious."
"Well, it is," Jonouchi muttered, well aware that his cheeks were now burning. He was more embarrassed than anything. Kaiba seemed a little surprised, despite how drunk he was. "So don't say shit to me unless you mean it, okay?"
Not that it was very helpful advice to say to a drunk person. Kaiba probably did mean everything he said, if Jonouchi's intution was right. When Kaiba eventually sobered up, things would probably be different, or at least back to being more guarded. Maybe Kaiba really did want to have sex with him, but when he was sober, he took more into account than how horny he was.
"I always mean everything I say," replied Kaiba, rolling his eyes and moving to lie on his side while looking Jonouchi in the eyes, his own still half-lidded from sexual desire and inebriation, "And I wasn't lying about wanting you. I have for a while. But since you want to get all huffy about it, we can just go to bed. I thought you'd want this, but apparently you don't."
"Well, I'm so sorry to disappoint you," Jonouchi grimaced, sitting up, "It's not like you don't tie me up in knots constantly. Stop having a tantrum because you didn't get your way for once."
Jonouchi sighed. He wasn't supposed to be fooling around with Kaiba at all. That hadn't lasted long, had it? But how could he help it when the man was coming after him so hard?
"I'm not having a tantrum," responded Kaiba, who snorted indignantly before turning up his nose, "We've done almost everything there is to do outside of penetration. If this 'guy' you're having issues with is the only issue between us, just dump him already. Then this wouldn't be such a problem."
"It still would be," Jonouchi insisted, "Because I'm in love with you and you don't feel anything for me. I'd have sex with you anyway, in all honesty because I'm too fucked up to turn you down, but it wouldn't be any good for me long term."
It was like talking to a sexually aroused wall. Kaiba wasn't hearing what he said, at least not in the right context. Jonouchi could understand not liking the rejection, but nothing was sinking in... Kaiba was not listening well enough. Jonouchi didn't want to have to spill who the 'other guy' was lest Kaiba suddenly turn into an angry drunk instead of a flirty one.
"I like you," Kaiba said as he tried defending himself, batting his eyelashes at Jonouchi before moving closer, "Shouldn't that be enough? It's not like you wouldn't enjoy what we'd be doing, I'd even let you call the shoots. I'm game for anything," Kaiba promised, his voice suddenly becoming very serious despite his drunk haze, "and I wouldn't hurt you like that other guy did..."
Jonouchi stiffened a little at the mention of Kitamura, and wondered at the possible consequences of actually having sex with Kaiba while he was drunk. Wasn't Kaiba a virgin? Didn't he want sex to be "meaningful"? Jonouchi didn't want Kaiba's first time to be ruined because Jonouchi was too selfish to stop him. If Kaiba still wanted him like that the next day, well, Jonouchi wasn't going to protest at all.
But he need to know more about Kitamura. Jonouchi hated keeping that from him. It was eating him up inside.
"Kaiba, shut up and listen," Jonouchi moved closer to him, meeting his eyes and hoping his meaning would be properly understood. He held Kaiba's face to make sure he had his complete attention. "It all sounds great, really. I promise, if you want to do this when you're sober, I'll let you do whatever you'd like with me. But not now. I don't want your first time to be like mine."
Which was badly regretted and mostly forgotten. Or blocked out. If Kaiba remembered at all, he probably wouldn't be happy to wake up to fuzzy recollections of intercourse. Jonouchi would feel terrible about it.
"Then what shall I do with you now?" Kaiba asked, huffing and appearing pretty defeated.
"Don't pout about it," Jonouchi leaned over Kaiba after letting go of his face, feeling guilty. He wasn't sure if he should or not. "We can still fool around. I know your plan seems like the best idea ever, but not right now. But we can still do other things. The things we've been doing before. Whatever you'd like."
Jonouchi couldn't believe Kaiba was taking the rejection so hard. If he didn't remember this in the morning, Jonouchi was going to make very sure that he found out. Jonouchi never wanted to be in a situation to turn Kaiba down for sex again.
"Come on," Jonouchi pressed his lips against Kaiba's neck, tickling his skin with his breath, "What can I do to cheer you up?"
"Dump this boyfriend," Kaiba answered honestly, his voice quiet, "So you won't feel so guilty over shit. Then I'd cheer up."
"Well, write yourself a mental note to tell me again in the morning," Jonouchi snorted, "And I'll do it. I promise."
"I'm too drunk to remember," Kaiba muttered before sighing dramatically, "You'll have to remind me."
He opened his eyes finally, looking up at Jonouchi and smirking. "But since it's not morning yet, we're going to have some fun tonight. Do you trust me?"
"Yeah, for some reason," Jonouchi jokingly replied. That probably should have taken more thought before saying. He did trust Kaiba, but he was pretty fucking drunk at the moment. But he'd never do anything to harm him, Jonouchi was sure of that. Kaiba cared about him, even if he wasn't capable of verbally saying so. "I trust you."
He watched Kaiba curiously, wondering why he'd felt the need to ask in the first place. The suspense was a little exciting, but Jonouchi didn't know if something was actually going to happen, or Kaiba was just being theatrical.
"What are you planning?"
"It's a secret," teased Kaiba, pushing Jonouchi to get up, "And promise me you won't look back to see what I'm doing until I tell you to. Or you don't get the surprise. Promise?"
"Sure," Jonouchi's brows furrowed at this odd request, but he didn't really feel nervous. "If that's what you want, then I'll do it."
"Good."
Kaiba got up and snickered, walking off toward the bathroom in slightly staggered steps.
"Don't get surprised by what I'm doing. I promise I'm not "sticking it in", so don't get all flustered," he said from the bathroom. Jonouchi sucked in a breath; what on earth was he about to do? "Just relax and trust me. I know what I'm doing," Kaiba laughed, digging crap out from under his sink, "And you promised not to look at me. Right?"
Kaiba came back with two things in his hand. A realistically molded dildo, from his younger experimental period that had failed terribly for him, and a bottle of lube. The pleasure Jonouchi would get from it was probably not the same as what he was used to, but it was all Kaiba had. He personally was uncomfortable the few times he tried it (and got so embarrassed that he locked the toy away for the longest time before admitting to himself he'd even used it), but now he found a better use for it.
If Jonouchi didn't like it, well, Kaiba didn't know what he'd do. But he reasoned that he never failed at trying new things, and wasn't about to start now.
"So," Jonouchi was lying on his stomach to better keep his end of the bargain, feeling sorely tempted to look back. Not that he was nervous, but he was nosy. Kaiba was never devious about what they did, but right now he seemed to have some outlandish plan. Jonouchi couldn't imagine what he had on his mind, but he was obligated to keep his eyes fixed ahead. "What are you doing with me, exactly? I had no idea you could be so deviant."
"I said it's a surprise."
Biting his lip, Jonouchi noticed when he felt the mattress give in as Kaiba sat next to him. He was sitting on his knees, opening a cap of lube and coating his fingers with it before leaning over Jonouchi. "You said you trusted me," Kaiba whispered seductively, "So don't get all flustered. Just let me know if it feel good or not."
Jonouchi just nodded his head silently, feeling his face begin to burn.
With Kaiba's dry hand, he rubbed on Jonouchi's back, settling him down, before pressing wet fingers into him. It was a tight fit, but he didn't try to go very far. He stroked a little and waited for the muscles to relax before they gave more and he could sink his index two fingers deeper. Eventually he managed to get in all the way to the second knuckles.
Kaiba had never tried it before on another person. Just once on himself, and it wasn't that comfortable. He found the pressure to be off putting, and it didn't do much for him sexually, but Jonouchi seemed to enjoy it. His breath was getting labored and he was holding onto the sheets with a death grip before Kaiba even started pulling in and out, rocking his fingers into him slowly while trying to get deeper inside of him.
"How does that feel?" Kaiba asked, purring into Jonouchi's ear, "I've never done this to another person before. I might need pointers."
"Could've fooled me," Jonouchi shuddered, catching his breath, "It's good, so just don't stop. And go a little faster."
He was being impatient, but he was also extremely excited. Kaiba had never done anything like this to him before, and possibly wouldn't have thought to do so if he wasn't drunk off his ass, but Jonouchi wasn't going to complain. If Kaiba wanted to finger him, that was perfectly all right. It wasn't like it was something that would scar him for life when he found out in the morning.
Jonouchi wanted to get up and push back into him, but he wasn't allowed to do so when he moved. He grumbled a little at that, pressing his face into the pillow and enjoying the feeling of Kaiba's hand rubbing his back. It wasn't like he needed comforting, or anything, but the contact was nice; that little bit of extra consideration that made Kaiba think to do it, even while he was drunk, made Jonouchi feel all funny in the gut.
"You're torturing me," he complained, squirming at the slow pace, "Stop teasing already."
Kaiba didn't obey him, which made Jonouchi a little frustrated, but that didn't last for very long when he felt the pressure become deep. Kaiba evidently had his own plan for how the evening was going to play out, and Jonouchi's impatience was irrelevant. Despite how good the fingers felt, it wasn't the amount of stimulation and pressure he really craved to get off, but just enough to drive him crazy. He was getting more desperate by the second, the feeling of Kaiba's fingers sliding in and out, and Jonouchi wanted some sort of relief.
It got to the point that his face was flushed, his eyes shut and lips parted as he huffed shallow breaths against the pillow. He'd given up moving entirely and only shuddered on occasion when the sensations built up too much or Kaiba hit a sweet spot inside him. Jonouchi was starting to feel warm everywhere, like it was radiating out of his groin and spreading through him. It was very new and unexpected, and feeling out of his element, he chose to lie down obediently and try to keep calm through it all.
Kaiba withdrew his fingers, chuckling a little before picking up the dildo and coating it generously with lubricant. It was about the same size as an actual man's erection, give or take a few inches depending on the individual, and he found it funny that he'd bought it in the first place. He hated what it looked like. It was certainly molded realistically, and he'd paid a shit load for it to ensure the quality. Once he pressed it against Jonouchi, he could see the difference immediately.
Jonouchi was shuddering with pleasure, pressing up against it to get more of the pressure. Kaiba was slow about penetrating; he apparently knew he was drunk and didn't want to hurt him, but Jonouchi was almost fighting against his careful measures. He was loud, breathing hard and huffing before the toy was fully inside of him. Kaiba had stopped then to massage Jonouchi's hair, kissing his neck deeply a few times and waiting for him to relax, before sliding it in and out.
Jonouchi knew from the lack of motion against the mattress that Kaiba couldn't be penetrating him personally, but that didn't diminish the effect. He was already starting to moan, and none too quietly. He'd heard Kaiba laugh in response at first, but his amusement had apparently faded. Jonouchi was trying to push back, wishing Kaiba would push harder and preferably faster, but there wasn't much he could do about it.
The pace drove Jonouchi crazy. Not that he wasn't fully enjoying it, of course, but it was wracking his body with sensation that was incredible and mind-blowing, yet not quite enough to get him off. He shuddered every time Kaiba pulled whatever it was out of him, and caught his breath when it pushed back in. He was twisting up the sheets so badly that it was a wonder they weren't ripped off the bed yet.
"Kaiba," he pleaded desperately, trying to turn his head to look back and finding himself unable. Kaiba had stopped him with a free hand, his fingers trailing down his neck. "Kaiba, please..."
Jonouchi gasped and cut off when he felt a particularly intense jolt of pleasure, but Kaiba still didn't pick up the pace enough. Either he was being careful, or he was enjoying putting Jonouchi through torture. Whichever was the case, Jonouchi started rocking back harder, trying to do so in time with the thrusts. The feeling of extreme pressure had eased enough that he could move on it easily. He was surprised at the level of comfort, really.
"Dammit," he bit down on the pillow when his insides were rubbed erratically. It wasn't done consistently, so he could never see it coming. Somehow, that only made it more exciting. "Kaiba, please, move faster already..."
"Since you asked nicely..."
Jonouchi didn't put up a fight against being held down, so Kaiba moved his weight until he was right up against him, his erection sliding against Jonouchi's rear while he used his elbows to keep himself up. Kaiba's right hand was still thrusting the sex toy into Jonouchi, harder now that he was also grinding against him in time, and Kaiba could feel himself starting to shudder from the feeling. It wasn't as great as anal sex would probably feel, but Jonouchi's backside was slick with sweat, and hot, and it made the feeling very arousing.
Enough that it was better than simple jerking off; Jonouchi was in such a state. Kaiba stopped messing with his hair and just held down one of Jonouchi's hands to ensure he didn't buck up too hard, his teeth scraping against Jonouchi's neck as he grinded against him a few more times. Kaiba liked listening to his muffled cries from through the pillow, Jonouchi's body shuddering while his back dipped low and his face relaxed.
Kaiba let go of the dlido before biting into Jonouchi's neck, erractically jerking the dildo a few times before hearing Jonouchi cry out suddenly. The sound of his orgasm was oddly stirring, and Kaiba felt himself twitch before he came on Jonouchi's bare back.
Jonouchi felt the warm liquid spill across him, and he wasn't sure if he should feel turned on or grossed out. He was only just getting over his orgasm, so oddly he found it strangely stirring.
For now, though, he was lying on his stomach, panting. He heard Kaiba breathing heavily behind him. He hadn't collapsed, which was probably for the best. He would have had cum smeared all over his stomach otherwise. Jonouchi was going to try saying something to him, but he was too out of breath and spent. His insides still felt tender, enough that he made quiet murmurs in response when Kaiba carefully pulled the dildo out of him. Or, Jonouchi assumed it was a dildo. He couldn't imagine what else it might be. That was all kind of embarrassing, honestly, but it had felt good.
He wanted to roll over onto his back, but he'd have to wait until he could clean up that mess. Maybe Kaiba would help him with it later.
"That was nice," Jonouchi sighed, stretching his legs before relaxing entirely. He was still enjoying himself feeling pleased with it all. Kaiba hadn't even been actually penetrating him, but the whole situation had been incredibly arousing. Jonouchi couldn't remember a time that he'd been so turned on that it took conscious effort to lie still for any period of time.
"I didn't think I'd ever find another use for this stupid thing," snicked Kaiba, rolling off his back and leaving into the bathroom for a towel, "And you have cum all over your lower back. It's kind of sexy."
Kaiba grabbed a towel and returned to the bedroom to wipe Jonouchi's sweaty back off so he wouldn't have dried semen all over him. Then, after getting Jonouchi to sit against the headboard, Kaiba took the comforter off and went into the closet to grab another one.
Jonouchi was silently sitting against the headboard, messing with his own hair before Kaiba came back. He seemed rather out of it, but Kaiba didn't think much about it. He was tired, the alcohol was wearing off, and he wanted to sleep.
Jonouchi almost didn't notice Kaiba get on the bed. He was rubbing at his eyes; the lashes felt strangely clingy, and he was wondering if he'd gotten sweat in them. He realized as he wiped at it that he must have teared up a little, for whatever reason. It might have been the intensity. Jonouchi was just grateful that he hadn't actually started crying. That wouldn't have ended well.
He lay down as Kaiba did, turning his head so he could look at him. They were still both overheated, so he chose not to get close immediately. The afterglow of sex seemed to be warding off the bad feeling the room usually gave him, at least for the moment. Jonouchi wondered why the room felt so strange to him. The guest bedroom made him paranoid because of the size, but in Kaiba's room there was almost a chill.
"Kaiba," Jonouchie addressed, when he saw Kaiba's breathing even out a little. Jonouchi wanted to catch him before he fell asleep. "How is cum on my back 'sexy'?"
He wasn't exactly upset about Kaiba saying that. It was a little kinky, and Jonouchi could get behind that. He just hadn't expected it from him, of all people. It was like dealing with another version of the same man when he was drunk. He had none of the reservations that Sober Kaiba had. Jonouchi wished it didn't take alcohol for Kaiba to be real with him.
"You have an attractive back," replied Kaiba, his eyes closed and breathing slowing down, "It looks nice when it's all glistening and you're bending down, and having my own cum on it is hot. I can't explain something like that. Don't pick on me over my weird tastes."
"I'm not picking on you, I promise," Jonouchi replied, smiling with more pride than he probably should have, "I'm just curious. You've never put me and sexy into the same context before."
Not verbally, anyway. Jonouchi had certainly said plenty on the subject, even if not in so many words, but Kaiba had always responded to attention as opposed to instigating. Probably for the best. Jonouchi would be embarrassed if Kaiba ever saw what a giant slut he could be for shit like that. Responding to attention was one thing; everyone liked attention. But the other things...
"I hope you'll remember at least some of this in the morning," Jonouchi sighed, "I really do. I want to do this with you again. I want to do more, even, assuming you don't get all your reservations back when you wake up."
"I'll remember," laughed Kaiba, "Don't make such a big deal out of it, as if this was the first time you've been around me drinking. Just drop this 'boyfriend' of yours and you can be happy with me."
"Will you want me for anything more than sex?" Jonouchi asked, the amusement now faded from his eyes. It was replaced by an almost pleading look, his pupils dilated and making the hazel irises shrink. "Because I don't want to just end up with the same situation as now."
"I want your company, Jonouchi," Kaiba admitted in a serious tone, "I need it."
"But you don't want to date me?"
"It would be very difficult doing that sort of thing here," mumbled Kaiba, sighing, "We can do all the same stuff, still. Without the title of 'dating', and I don't see why it would matter all that much, anyways. It's not like you're going to tell all your friends about me..."
Jonouchi wasn't sure what to say. If Kaiba didn't understand, then it was unlikely he would with prodding. He sighed, turning over and lying with his back facing him. What was the point in getting wrapped up with Kaiba if he didn't want any emotional commitment? It would just be the same crap over again. Maybe Kaiba wasn't awful like Kitamura, but Jonouchi actually cared about him. He couldn't deal with something fake, just being "friends with benefits". He wanted it to mean something more than that.
He scoffed at himself. Now it probably looked like he was the one turning into the romantic. Or, that was what he wished was the case. More likely, he was just too much of a coward now to be in love with someone who just wanted his 'company'. Maybe before Kitamura, Jonouchi would have thought he could deal with that. Now he knew better. It was bad enough only being good for sex without the unrequited love thrown into the mix.
"Will you dump this 'boyfriend' of yours?" asked Kaiba again.
"If I do," Jonouchi replied quietly, "It won't be for you."
"Tch. I'd hope you'd do it because you're clearly unhappy... so don't get all snippy with me over it." Kaiba rose up suddenly. "Are you actually mad at me? Why?"
"I don't see why it would matter all that much, anyways," Jonouchi repeated in a mock tone as he looked back enough to scowl at Kaiba before sniffing. "It's a shitty situation you put me in, and your drunk ass is treating it like it doesn't mean anything to me. I'm not going to start something with you just so I can be a sex and sleeping aid."
He lay down again, huffing. "What's the point in that? I'm already being used. At least I don't care about him like I do you. I'd rather deal with that than be hurt by you."
Kaiba sighed, briefly touching Jonouchi on the shoulder before retracting his hand back to his side. "Then forget I mentioned anything..."
"You probably will even if I don't," Jonouchi muttered, his brows furrowing. He felt hurt more than anything, but it was easier to be angry. "You probably wouldn't have even thought I was good enough to fuck if you hadn't been drinking. I don't want to throw myself at anyone anymore, especially people who don't actually like me."
He could only really handle one situation at a time, and just barely at that. Kitamura already had him on the verge of a breakdown with no real change in sight. It wouldn't be a good idea to jump straight from that to Kaiba, who despite his considerably better personality and lack of selfishness still considered him unworthy of a true attempt at romance. Jonouchi didn't know if that was better or worse than Kitamura, who didn't seem to understand the concept of romance in and of itself.
Jonouchi groaned, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face in the pillow. He could tell himself as many times as he pleased that he needed to get his shit together, but it seemed to be futile. He just couldn't seem to do anything about his situation, and he couldn't quite identify the root of the problem. Mai's 'advice' about having some self-respect kept returning to his mind, and the more it did, the more uncomfortable he felt. He'd always had low self-esteem, but that was something he dealt with. A lot of people had that problem. It had never been too bad; in high school he'd had friends to support him, but then he'd become an adult. Kind of.
This recent development was something else entirely. Throwing himself at someone who wouldn't love him while letting his abuser keep him as a pet wasn't the best thing that could have happened to Jonouchi. It seemed like he couldn't catch a break, between Kitamura somehow constantly swaying him and Kaiba treating his emotions like they weren't that important. Like he was a girl in high school swooning over a celebrity. Did he take him seriously at all?
"God dammit, Kaiba," Jonouchi sighed, resting his chin on the pillow, "I want you to love me back. That is literally the only thing I want at all, and you refuse to feel anything for me."
He didn't hear a reply, just some heavy breathing. He turned his head to see if Kaiba was upset, but it looked like he was asleep. Jonouchi glared at him.
"Asshole," he grumbled, "You always miss the important things."
At least tomorrow Kaiba would be sober and stop sending mixed messages. He was more responsible when sober, and less likely to push boundaries... If he did, well...Jonouchi would probably just blow him off. It would just be easier. Besides, maybe it would finally make him stop fooling around with Kaiba and just have Kitamura left to deal with. He could handle being a whore for one of them, but both at the same time was just too much.
Jonouchi laid on his side, his back to Kaiba, and he sighed tiredly as he closed his eyes. The room was giving him a chill again, and he felt like there was someone watching in the darkness, but he tried to ignore the sensation. He was superstitious, just like his mother, and he didn't want his imagination giving him any more nightmares.