It had begun to feel like Kaiba had been avoiding him, but Jonouchi chose not to think too much about it. He was glad he still had his job at Kaiba Land, which paid the bills and took care of most of his expenses. Kitamura hadn't called in some time, and finding relief finally in his life, Jonouchi was starting to enjoy the calm.
The peace came with some drawbacks, though. Now that he wasn't wandering over to downtown anymore to catch Kaiba in his office, Jonouchi spent most of his nights alone. Coming home from the amusement park, he'd swing over to Seven-Eleven and try to buy the cheapest entree option in the fresh food aisle. Then, taking it home, he'd nuke it in the microwave and enjoy a night of watching dumb fighting animes online with the computer Kitamura had bought for him.
If Jonouchi was at all honest with himself, he would realize that he was lonely. Sometimes he'd try to text Honda on his phone, but the guy always seemed busy at some bar chasing girls. Jonouchi wasn't exactly about that lifestyle (and alcohol was too expensive for his budget), so he needed up rejecting Honda's offers to go bar hopping.
Jonouchi sighed. He fiddled with his phone, staring at the characters listed as he thought about calling Kaiba before deciding against it.
They'd end that breakfast a week ago on friendly terms, but Jonouchi felt like it was still a stand still. Like Kaiba was waiting for some kind of confirmation that he was done with Kitamura before Jonouchi could be allowed back into his social sphere. Jonouchi knew that Kaiba never said any such thing to him, but he had a feeling that was the expectation.
Or else there was no reason for the silence between them now.
Jonouchi's apartment had the very bare minimum requirements for comfortable living. Laying on an old, used futon, Jonouchi flipped over onto his back. He could see a noticeable crack on the ceiling, and he could hear some game show going on in the apartment next to him from the thin walls.
He missed spending his nights with Kaiba. Sleeping in a big, comfortable bed, even if the bedroom was creepy. Being able to eat whenever he wanted, and not worry about having to pay for it. Taking long, warm showers without cold water suddenly rushing on his naked body because the pipes sucked.
Ugh. He hated this silence, but Jonouchi didn't want to be the one to break it. For once, this situation wasn't his fault. If Kaiba couldn't handle his boundaries, well, maybe he wasn't as good a friend as Jonouchi had first thought.
Lying there in the dark, Jonouchi continued to stare at his cell phone, glaring at it, until a text appeared. It wasn't the Kaiba Jonouchi was hoping for, but Mokuba would do. At least he wasn't a prick about seeing his friends.
'Come see me downtown tomorrow at noon. We are having an event. Meet me at the Domino City Convention Center.'
There was nothing else in the message. Jonouchi would have thought Mokuba might pry into why he wasn't around as much at the Kaiba Mansion, but thankfully, Mokuba didn't appear to care.
Was he oblivious to what was going on? Or did Mokuba make an effort to not become interested? Jonouchi was kind of curious, but not enough to ask.
The next day, Jonouchi arrived early downtown, stopping by a crepe shop to get some lunch before parking himself on the front steps of the building. He watched people pass by, some older men glaring at him for loitering, but Jonouchi didn't care. At least Mokuba would know where to find him.
Mokuba was reliably early.
"Hey, you should have gotten me something!" He greeted, running up to Jonouchi before grabbing his arm and pulling him up to his feet. "Now I'm going to have to watch you eat!"
Jonouchi shook his head, grinning. "Kid, you have way more money than me. If you want something to eat, go buy it yourself."
Mokuba stuck out his tongue before pointing towards the convention center's main entrance.
"I want you to come to the Kaiba Corporation event I'm going to be hosting in a few days," Mokuba explained. "I think you'll enjoy it and I wanted you to be my entourage."
"Your entourage?"
"Yes." Mokuba shrugged his shoulders. "All important people have entourages. Even Nii-sama has one, but they don't consist of his friends. Just Isono and the rest of his security. But since I'm going to have to go to a stuffy after party with a bunch of boring adults, I want you to come with me."
"To keep you from getting bored?" accused Jonouchi. Amused, he started grinning wider. "I'm thinking that maybe you should be paying me to do this."
"Hey now, you're already a Kaiba Corp employee," reminded Mokuba. "I'm technically your boss."
So Mokuba knew? What all did Kaiba tell him.
"Yeah, I'll come with you," Jonouchi agreed. "And you don't have to pay me. I'm sure the good food at the party will be worth the boredom being surrounded by rich people..."
Mokuba rolled his eyes before shaking his head.
"Hey Jonouchi," he began in a bright, new tone, "Do you wanna take a tour inside? I'm sure I could get us in and show you some VIP stuff before the actual convention, so you know where to find me. Probably get your pass while we're here too."
"Sure," Jonouchi was surprised by the offer. Mokuba was always generous with him, but he hadn't expected to get a look inside the convention building until the actual con rolled around. "Sounds great, actually."
Jonouchi wondered if Mokuba liked spoiling him just because he could, or because it gave him an opportunity to show off. Not that he was complaining. It was becoming clear to Jonouchi that he had a knack for getting people with money to throw it at him. Compared to the usual situation Jonouchi ended up in, he was perfectly happy to follow Mokuba around and make him feel important. At least he knew the kid wasn't trying to get into his pants anytime soon.
Probably.
He followed Mokuba through the empty convention center, getting a peek at all the booths that were being set up and the companies that had reserved the space on the main floor. He also got to tour the rooms where there would be panels and early showings of films and trailers, as well as some independent media.
The most impressive part, of course, was the auditorium. It was a gigantic room with theater seating and a massive stage at one end, facing the area where the crowd would be. Jonouchi watched people bustling around onstage, setting up lights on the scaffolding above and repairing the stage itself where necessary. There was an enormous flat television screen above center stage. Mokuba said it was to project the image of the Kaiba brothers so that people at the back of the room could see what they were doing.
All the banners advertising the Kaiba Corporation show were set up, it seemed. Everywhere in the convention center, Jonouchi always knew which direction to go for the auditorium, because there were signs bearing Kaiba's Blue-Eyes crest showing him which way to go. According to the signage, the show would only be done once, as opposed to a few times per day or once a day. Jonouchi didn't know or care who would have the auditorium after the Kaiba brothers, and apparently no one else did either, because only Kaiba Corporation was being advertised across the building.
"Don't you ever get nervous on stage?" Jonouchi asked Mokuba, recalling the time during the KC Grand Prix when he'd had to stand on a stage in front of a stadium of ten thousand viewers. He hadn't been too nervous to function, like Yugi, but he'd been worried. Back then, his self-esteem had been even lower, and it was a miracle that he'd fooled himself into confidence long enough to act relatively sensible.
"Nah, not really."
He was smiling as his eyes fell on the stage. Mokuba had put a lot of himself into making the convention, something of his own pet project with Kaiba only supervising from the background, not really taking the leading manager role for once. It was something Mokuba was rather proud of, having handled the whole ordeal with his own team, that he picked out himself, and although he took his brother's advice on what to do, it was still his show.
"I do this because I enjoy it," said Mokuba, looking back at Jonouchi, "Nii-sama never forced me into working for Kaiba Corporation, and I hope to someday become CEO myself, if Seto ever allows himself to retire. This is fun for me, even if a bit of a headache at times... I just hope I'm half as inventive as Nii-sama is... But being on stage in front of thousands of people is no big deal. As long as I'm not on stage naked."
Mokuba had the advantage of an older brother who fed his ego for many years, and he had a very high opinion of himself. Not so bad that his head was huge and he couldn't see his own faults, but Mokuba did believe in himself. His brother pushed him to excel in what he wanted, and had told him that he couldn't fail at anything he tried, and Mokuba believed him.
So, it came easy to him, dealing with business. It was something he grew up with and felt comfortable around, and smirking at Jonouchi and leading him backstage, he wanted to make sure he'd know where to go once the show was done.
"Nii-sama has a private room up here, for after the show. He's not doing any panels, unfortunately, so I guess he's just planning on hiding out here like a sour puss."
They had to climb up several cases of stairs, but once they reached the top, they came to a large room, almost like the living room of a penthouse, that overlooked the auditorium. He could just sit there alone and watch everyone in peace without the fans knowing where he was hiding out.
"It always surprised me that Kaiba is such a show-off yet a recluse at the same time," Jonouchi muttered, mostly to himself, "But I guess making a crowd of people worship him is different from having a one-on-one with a fan."
If there was anything Kaiba couldn't seem to handle, it was people being nice to him on a personal level. Jonouchi was pretty sure he might have accidentally broken him by falling in love with him, if his actions were any indication. He was either unreasonably angry at him now, or acted like he didn't know what to do with himself. Jonouchi had thought he'd brush it off like he had everything else, but it seemed that wasn't the case.
"He must be glad he's got you to handle things, then."
"Yeah, I actually like people!" laughed Mokuba.
They headed back downstairs. It was noon already, and Mokuba wanted to chill out before dragging Jonouchi out some more. Probably for dinner, he liked going out and being around the masses and trying new things, very much unlike his older brother. But that was the difference in how they were raised, and Mokuba excitedly dragged Jonouchi back towards the Kaiba Hotel before Jonouchi stopped, his face turning white.
"What's wrong, Jonouchi?"
He had his phone in his hand, staring at the screen with hazel eyes, and it looked like Jonouchi had seen a ghost. When Mokuba tried looking at the screen, he moved it over the kid's head and pocketed it, looking very bothered but forcing a smile on his face.
"Did Nii-sama text you something crazy? Let me see!" teased Mokuba, trying to move to grab his phone playfully, "What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing, I'm fine," Jonouchi tried to look cheerful, but he couldn't quite force a smile. He continued working to keep Mokuba away from the phone. It was annoying that he was taller now. His reach had improved significantly from what it had been before his growth spurt. "I'm gonna have to leave and take care of something, but I'll come to the hotel afterwards if you aren't busy."
It wasn't like Kitamura ever stayed the night. Jonouchi fully intended to skip when they were done doing whatever they were going to do. Hopefully that would be Jonouchi telling him to piss off, but he already knew that was unlikely. Otherwise, he wouldn't be leaving, right? He didn't know. He just needed to get out of Mokuba's presence before the kid looked into it too deeply.
Mokuba seemed concerned about him. Jonouchi felt guilty for lying to him, but there wasn't much else he could do. Mokuba really didn't need to know about the crap with Kitamura. Hopefully he wasn't so concerned that he'd talk to his brother about it. Jonouchi didn't want Kaiba after him nagging again, not on top of all the other shit they were sorting through.
He parted ways and started the walk toward the hotel where Kitamura wanted to meet him. Jonouchi snorted, a little ticked that he wasn't even getting a meal first, but it didn't matter. He wasn't hungry yet.
When he arrived at the hotel, Kitamura was seated in the lobby, waiting. It looked like he must have changed and showered before Jonouchi arrived, because he showed signs of having damp hair and his clothes were fresh. He was dressed in jeans and a button-up again. Jonouchi was starting to wonder if he owned a t-shirt.
Kitamura stood and approached when he saw him, offering a smile in greeting. Jonouchi didn't respond in kind, but he never really did with Kitamura. Had he ever smiled around him? He couldn't remember a time that he had.
"It's good to see you again, Jonouchi!" said Kitamura, leading the way to the elevator. Jonouchi just scoffed.
"What's this, you aren't even offering me dinner now first?"
"I'll order food if you're hungry."
"That isn't the point," Jonouchi spat, but he didn't discuss it further. Kitamura probably wouldn't get it even if he did explain. "Have you considered getting together for something that wasn't sex?"
Kitamura raised an eyebrow and looked at him as they stood in the elevator. Jonouchi didn't bother protesting the decision that they were going upstairs. It would be a waste of time. He knew he'd end up going along with it eventually, and Kitamura probably did too.
"We've gone out to eat before," Kitamura replied, as if correcting him, "And I did take you shopping a couple of times."
"Yeah, but that was just a precursor," Jonouchi argued, "Are you even slightly interested in doing other things?"
"Usually when I'm not with you, I'm working," Kitamura shrugged, somewhat vacantly observing the floor number displayed inside the elevator, "My job is very time-consuming. It doesn't help that I only see you while I'm in country."
Jonouchi sighed. He considered demanding that Kitamura make time, but that would mean having to see more of him when Jonouchi was trying not to see any of him. The less often Kitamura was around, the better. Jonouchi even managed not to think about him most of the time when he was gone. If he had to deal with him every day, even if for a short time, he'd probably kill him. Or himself. Either way, it wasn't worth getting into.
He quietly followed Kitamura to the hotel suite, stepping into the room once the door was open and removing his shoes in the entryway. While Kitamura did the same, he glanced around the suite to distract himself. He didn't even know what he was doing there. He should have just gone back to the hotel with Mokuba and ignored Kitamura entirely. But then he could have tracked him with the damn phone, and found out he was at the Kaiba Hotel...
"Jonouchi?"
He turned at the sound of his name, surprised to find Kitamura looking a bit hesitant.
"What?"
"You seem unhappy."
Jonouchi didn't reply. Nothing he said was going to matter, so it was moot point. He just sighed and crossed his arms, waiting for Kitamura to figure out what he was going to do. Maybe he'd get uncomfortable and leave, but that was hoping for a lot.
He stared at the floor, and didn't raise his head when Kitamura's feet came into view. He felt his hands on his shoulders, and lips against his neck like he was trying to coax him. Surprising as it was that Kitamura cared enough to try coercion, Jonouchi wasn't moved. He didn't respond to much of anything until he made lip contact, and even then it was minimal. He just let Kitamura lead, opening his mouth when prompted.
Jonouchi's breath caught when he felt Kitamura's hands leave his shoulder and land on his hips instead. The feeling made him want to jerk away, but something prevented him from doing so. He couldn't help being a little responsive when Kitamura pulled him closer, grinding against his body. It was unexpected, and piqued Jonouchi's interest physically enough that he was able to enjoy it a little. May as well, if he was going to just run with it.
The kiss improved when Jonouchi became responsive, reciprocating until he was surprised by the feeling of being turned. His eyes opened and he gasped when his back hit the wall and Kitamura pressed against him, but he wasn't going to complain. It was different, at least. He didn't mind a little aggression. It wasn't like he couldn't shove Kitamura if it got to be too much...
His head tipped back and he closed his eyes again when he felt lips on his neck, and while it was a little uncomfortable on his back to have Kitamura grinding into him against the wall, the friction wasn't bad. Jonouchi shuddered slightly when he felt fingers ghosting up his sides beneath his shirt, and he raised his arms cooperatively so the clothing could be removed altogether. He didn't like how quickly he was being stripped down, not so much because of the pace itself but because he wasn't nearly aroused enough yet and it was obvious.
But he sincerely doubted that Kitamura cared, all things considered. He rested his hands on his shoulders so he could do something with them, and for the next few seconds tried to focus on what little satisfaction he got from the grinding until his pants were unfastened. Jonouchi felt the need to protest, but he couldn't find his voice when the urge struck him, and after that it seemed too late.
Once he was fully undressed, his ridiculously tight borrowed jeans now resting around his ankles with his underwear, Kitamura took a step back. Jonouchi inhaled in relief when the pressure of his weight left his chest, but it was shortly lived. He was abruptly turned around and pressed into the wall again, this time with Kitamura at his back. Jonouchi stiffened, his discomfort threatening to change into panic when he heard Kitamura unfastening his belt, and then his zipper. He hissed out in anger when he felt his bare erection rubbing against him, terrified that Kitamura was thinking about going dry.
"The fuck are you doing?" Jonouchi demanded, trying to push back, but Kitamura didn't budge. He did stop moving, however, and chuckled in his ear.
"Calm down," he sounded like he thought Jonouchi was being silly. He wasn't being silly, from where he was standing. Maybe he wouldn't be so paranoid if Kitamura wasn't such a prick. "I'm just teasing. I don't plan on hurting you."
Jonouchi grumbled quietly at that. Let him try. Then they'd see who got hurt. Hirutani didn't call him his 'star hitter' for nothing.
He stepped out of the retraining pants with some difficulty, internally cursing Kaiba's lean physique (and then apologizing for doing so). Turning around as much as he could with Kitamura holding him in place stubbornly, he frowned at Kitamura's sly grinning.
"I don't want to do it here," he stated, "Move to the bed."
Kitamura got off of him finally, and guided him over to the mattress. As if he couldn't find it on his own...
Jonouchi got on his back, feeling more settled. He definitely didn't want to stand against a wall with his knees buckling and thighs shaking while Kitamura crushed him uncomfortably against the plaster. He could lie on his back in bed, at least.
He was half hard at the very most at the moment. It didn't seem to have any real bearing on the situation, at least on Kitamura's end, because he wasn't doing anything to improve it. Jonouchi was waiting for Kitamura to get on top of him, but instead he was pulled toward the foot of the bed, and forced to turn over. Being familiar with that by then, Jonouchi immediately protested and grabbed Kitamura's wrist when he started pulling him into downward dog.
He yelped sharply and was stunned into stillness when he felt a sting on his left ass cheek, and then realized he'd been slapped. Usually, he would be okay with that kind of thing, but this wasn't the time.
"Stop fighting," Kitamura commanded, getting his wrist out of Jonouchi's grip and holding his hips a bit too firmly. Jonouchi turned his head enough to look back at him, glaring, but Kitamura didn't see. He was digging through his pants pocket for lubricant. When he twisted the fastener off, he squeezed some onto his index finger and pushed it in. Jonouchi sucked in a breath, more put off than anything. He rested his head against the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut and making himself relax. He knew he was fairly limber, and just a finger shouldn't be much of anything (especially with so much lube). Most of his discomfort and tensing was because he was reluctant, but he wasn't about to feel bad about that.
Jonouchi lay quietly when two fingers slipped in, sliding in and out with increasing speed until his body stopped clenching hard and he could ignore the pressure. He was in disbelief, really. With how much he usually enjoyed anal, even with Kitamura at times, he'd thought he could get something out of it. Instead, he just felt isolated, and it wasn't enjoyable in the least. Not painful, but certainly not arousing. Kitamura's fingers seemed almost probing, but when he shifted away slightly, the hand that was still on his hip held fast.
He held his breath when Kitamura's fingers left him. He heard a condom packet tearing, and then a slick sound that was probably lube against the latex. He grumbled when Kitamura pressed against him, his grip getting progressively tighter as he pushed in. Jonouchi was flexible and grateful that at least nothing hurt, but he felt nothing in the way of pleasure. It turned him off to the point of feeling bored. At least when there was a little pleasant stimulation, he could start fantasizing about Kaiba and deal with it.
But the sex was just terrible. There wasn't any pleasure to start with, but now even if he'd wanted to fantasize about Kaiba, he couldn't. Jonouchi felt angry more than anything, and his cheeks burned with indignation when Kitamura increased pace, his impatience doing nothing to improve his mood. He'd never had the experience of just waiting for it to be over before. The shitty thing was too, it seemed like it was taking forever, but that might have just been because he wasn't into it at all.
Maybe that wouldn't be so awful if he felt like he could say something, or that it would make a difference to the person he was with, but that wasn't the case. Jonouchi bore through it quietly, his breathing shallow and his hands unmoving on the bed. He felt his legs starting to fall asleep and by the time Kitamura finished and stopped, his chest was burning from the intensity of his bottled rage.
He sat back on his heels when Kitamura wandered to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, and the moment he had feeling in his legs again he got up and dressed quickly. No way in hell was he staying here a minute longer. Kitamura could go fuck himself.
He'd shoved his feet into his sneakers and managed to properly fix Kaiba's overly-tight clothes onto himself by the time Kitamura emerged, his hair back in place and his clothes straightened out. He looked surprised that Jonouchi was leaving. Jonouchi fully intended to ignore him and just go, never to return, but his wrist was grabbed as he was on his way out the door. It was an uncomfortably firm grip.
"You're just going to leave like that?"
The question itself made sense, but Jonouchi didn't like the tone. It was a tone that asked why he thought he was allowed to leave, not where he was going when he did. His already thinly-stretched nerves finally snapped, and Jonouchi felt something of a thrill almost like euphoria, although he was utterly pissed still from what happened. There was no way on earth he was going to ball up on the floor and cry over it after the fact.
As it was now, he was already inches away from beating the next person he saw, and Kitamura's grabbing and the possessive questioning tore it. Jonouchi spun around, hooking a solid punch into his jaw as he did. It had been so long since Jonouchi really hit someone. He'd forgotten how thrilling it was.
Kitamura's hand left his wrist, and it almost seemed like he fell to the floor in slow motion. Jonouchi knew it was just the adrenaline rushing, his senses running on high as he watched Kitamura fall. When he was younger, he'd land a few couple of solid kicks into his victim's ribs for good measure. Just to make sure they'd learned. But Jonouchi was older now, and he didn't feel like sticking around any longer. Kitamura could stay on the floor, hopefully with a broken jaw.
Jonouchi left the hotel, his gait quick and light but grounded. He felt like he had back when he was with the gang, but now he didn't run with thugs. He was alone, wandering around doing as he pleased without a leader to answer to. It was almost like a power trip, his initial rage channeled into a state of unsettling calm. It was how he got when he was fighting before, back in the day.
It had been a long time since he'd assaulted someone, though. He could hardly believe it, but he didn't feel bad. He was pleased he hadn't broken Kitamura's ribs. Otherwise, he might feel a little guilty for going too far. Not that Kitamura didn't deserve it...
Jonouchi needed another target, something else to receive his anger until it ran out. He wasn't a thug anymore, so he at least had enough conscience not to start pounding people on the street. Instead, he wracked his brain for someone who had been a thorn in his side lately. He considered going back home and beating the new Rintama kids to remind them that he ran that neighborhood first, but he got a better idea.
Walking briskly to the Kaiba hotel, he ignored the looks he got from people as he walked by and made a beeline down the sidewalk. He'd found over time that if he had a loud enough presence that people would part around him, so he just ran people over. He was so pissed off, he didn't even feel sorry about it. Random assholes on the street could go fuck themselves.
The attendant in the lobby of the hotel seemed concerned when she saw him, but Jonouchi flashed a smile at her, and apparently that kept her quiet. He took the long elevator ride back to the Kaiba brothers' suite, hoping that Mokuba had something to cover his ears with. Jonouchi felt a little guilty, but he shook it off. Kaiba was a dick and deserved what he got. He was lucky he was getting off with an earful, honestly. Jonouchi only just now worked up the courage to tell him off.
He rang the doorbell outside the suite and stood impatiently waiting.
Mokuba opened the door. He seemed pleased to see him, but he had that same look in his eyes as the woman in the lobby. Jonouchi was torn. Part of him wanted to laugh, and the other part wanted to let Mokuba know nothing was wrong. He opted for flashing a grin at Mokuba to ease his discomfort.
"Told you I'd be back," he said, "I need to talk to your brother. Is he hiding still?"
"Yeah," Mokuba tilted his head, confused but not wary enough to lie over his brother's whereabouts, "But he's busy with work right now and I don't think he wants to be disturbed."
"Sucks for him," Jonouchi snorted, entering the suite. He was probably worrying Mokuba. He turned around, walking backward toward Kaiba's bedroom door. "Don't worry about it, I'm not gonna pick some fight I can't win."
"That's not what I'm concerned about," muttered Mokuba, averting his eyes and leaving to his own bedroom, "But you're going to do what you want." He sighed, turning around to open his door, "Good luck I guess."
"Sure."
Jonouchi didn't knock. He quickly opened Kaiba's bedroom door, stepping in and shutting it behind him. He was working in bed again. Why he would hole up in his room when it was just him and Mokuba in the suite was beyond Jonouchi. Maybe he was sulking harder than he'd thought. Jonouchi approached the bed and stood at the side of it, grinning down at Kaiba. It didn't really reach his eyes, but that was because he was pissed, and didn't care enough to try for a real smile.
"Miss me?"
"No."
"Too bad," Jonouchi laughed harshly, "Is there a reason you're being more of an asshole than usual? You do realize this crap is getting old, right? You probably think you're all smart, trying to pretend I don't exist anymore, but obviously you weren't listening when I said it wasn't going to work."
He sat down on the bed, practically falling into it. It messed up Kaiba's typing rhythm, and now he looked annoyed. Good, Jonouchi felt like ruffling his feathers. Intentionally, this time.
"If you had any sense at all in that thick skull of yours, you'd get out of my damn bedroom," snapped Kaiba back. His eyes never left the screen of his computer. "And I'm not obligated to give you the constant attention that you seek. So please excuse yourself and go piss off already."
"I never claimed to need constant attention from you," Jonouchi replied coolly. He heard Kaiba snort, but he didn't get a chance to retort. "I don't know if you noticed, Kaiba, but I'm beyond mad right now, but I'm not here to argue with you. Especially while you insist on being so full of it I can't even make a good comeback. If you cared about me any at all-"
Jonouchi moved quickly, slamming down the lid of Kaiba's laptop. He only barely got his fingers out of the way in time. Jonouchi's weight was bearing down on the computer, his face less than a foot away from Kaiba's as he stared directly into his eyes.
"-then you'd show me some fucking respect."
His eyes narrowed. Kaiba certainly didn't look threatened, but he seemed startled. Then again, Jonouchi had never confronted him in quite so aggressively before. He'd been angry, flustered, even cold that time he'd dumped coffee on him. But Kaiba hadn't known him well before Yugi was around, and he'd never seen him in a fight, so this was something new. Jonouchi could practically see the wheels turning in his head.
"Is that all you want? You could have said so without slamming my laptop," he mumbled, trying to lift it but glaring when Jonouchi wouldn't let up on the top, "Let go of it before I make you."
"Did I say I was done?" Jonouchi growled, shoving the laptop away entirely. It landed on the empty part of the bed about a foot away from where Kaiba was sitting. "How about you shut up and listen to me before I break your nose?"
May as well get a two-for-one, right? But no, he wouldn't actually hit Kaiba in the face. He was too pretty for that. Jonouchi wasn't going to be held responsible for ruining it, even temporarily. He might smack him somewhere else, though. A little.
No, he wouldn't.
"You're a serious piece of work, you know that?" Jonouchi started. He could feel his eyelids beginning to burn. "You were perfectly fine fucking around when you thought I had a crush on you, and even when I told you that I liked you-a lot-and don't fucking pretend you don't know what I meant, Kaiba... But the moment shit got too emotionally close for you, you started being a complete dick about it.
"I'm getting sick of your shit. At the very least, you could have some consideration for our friendship, which, by the way, you have acknowledged, so don't try to back out now. You're punishing me for being in love with you, and either you don't understand how shitty that is, or you don't care. I'd like to know which it is so I can decide how bad I should hurt you."
He met Kaiba's eyes after, knowing that Kaiba would try to stare him down no matter how uncomfortable he was. And he was definitely uncomfortable. Jonouchi could see it in his face, and in how his eyes twitched, looking from one of Jonouchi's to the other periodically as if searching for a weakness. Jonouchi wasn't afraid to let it show that he was hurt. It didn't matter in the long run, because either Kaiba wouldn't care and Jonouchi would try beating him up, or Kaiba would care. Then maybe they'd get somewhere.
"You're more fucked up in the head than I originally thought if you think punching me in the face is going to solve your romantic crisis."
Kaiba didn't even blink, staring Jonouchi down before snorting and moving to sit against the bed frame and crossing his arms in anger. He wanted to physically remove Jonouchi from the room, but that wouldn't work out well. Not if Jonouchi was really angry, and they were too close in physical strength to try duking it out. Jonouchi might actually hit him and he didn't need any bruises on his face before a world-wide event.
Or have Mokuba hearing them fight.
If Kaiba was at all honest with himself, he didn't want to fight Jonouchi at all, but he wasn't going to get bullied either. Moving his computer so it was out of harm's way, he got off the bed and looked down at Jonouchi, glaring at him.
"But if you must know how I feel about this whole ordeal, I pity you, Jonouchi," began Kaiba, his mouth turning into a smirk. He knew he was being hurtful. But he wasn't sure how to stop himself before speaking the words, "You'll never get what you want, and you know it. Trying to think otherwise is just fantasy, and unfortunately for people in your position, it's all you really have to hold onto."
"I'm not here for more of your never-ending bullshit, Kaiba," Jonouchi grimaced, "I already beat down one asshole who fucked with me today, and I'd prefer not to make you the second."
He moved closer to where Kaiba was standing as he crawled across the bed. What was he going to do about it? Nothing. The point that Kaiba decided to hit him was the point when all was lost and Jonouchi intended to go out guns blazing.
"But I'm sick of being looked at like I'm inferior, and I'm not going to deal with it. Straighten your shit out and try talking to me for once. Because if you actually felt the way you try to act and your only reason for trying to put me off is because you're a giant fucking snob, then I'd leave. For good. But you aren't that clever, Kaiba, even if you think you are. You've been trying to cover your own ass since you found out how I feel, and I want to know the real reason why."
Jonouchi was reaching the end of his rope with Kaiba's constant rejection. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad if it was simply because he wasn't interested, but it was more than that. He had reasons that made Jonouchi feel like he wasn't good enough. Jonouchi was sick and tired of it. What had happened to him? Just six months ago, he would have beaten the crap out of anyone who implied that he was inferior to them. Another piece of his self-worth Kitamura had ruined, but Jonouchi had already punched him today. Right now, it was about Kaiba.
"I know you feel something for me. Maybe it's not what I feel for you, but it's something. You can't fool me into thinking that you're doing all this out of some self-important pity."
Kaiba didn't answer back, his jaw tensing up and he just turned his back on Jonouchi, crossing his arms. He didn't know how to answer all those accusations, and if he had any sense at all, he'd just leave the room. What could Jonouchi do about that? Nothing at all. If he tried putting up some stupid macho fight, he'd only end up in trouble, especially if Mokuba freaking out and called security on him.
Probably wouldn't happen, though. The kid liked him too much.
"You're hopeless," Kaiba had his hand on the knob of the door, but he couldn't make himself open it to leave. Instead he had his forehead resting against the frame of the door, debating with himself still if he should just run off to the corporate office. If necessary, he could even sleep there. Just to get away from Jonouchi's insufferable company.
"I've already told you several times, I don't want a relationship. Least of all, with you. How could you even think I'd lower myself to your level, when I know what you're doing and with who right now. You might be my friend, but we're not equals, Jonouchi... We're not even of the same class. You're so below me in everything I could possibly name, and you think you have some right to demand shit from me? Tch. Please. The day I give you any of the respect you claim to want is the day you give yourself the respect you don't even seem to think you deserve."
He was saying that all to the damn door in front of his face, his eyes closed as he worked on controlling his breathing, but Kaiba knew his voice trailed and Jonouchi had heard him. His breath had caught at that last part, like it had hit him hard, and Kaiba almost felt bad about attacking him so personally, but it was true. Jonouchi looked down at himself as Jap trash, so why should anyone think any differently?
Well, Kaiba didn't think he was trash, but he was certainly something else. Someone he couldn't understand, when he willingly ran off to meet his rapist and whored himself out for money instead of just asking for help.
But there was only so many things Kaiba could do, and it wasn't his place to mother Jonouchi because he couldn't get his own life together.
"Didn't you just come back from one of your little trysts?"
Jonouchi stood, stunned, as he stared at Kaiba's back. He almost felt like he couldn't breathe; his chest was tight, his skin cold as he started breaking into a sweat. He didn't even know what he felt at all. Not just because of what Kaiba knew, but what he thought. Kaiba couldn't possibly be that elitist, could he? Jonouchi didn't want to believe that.
He also couldn't understand how Kaiba knew he'd just seen Kitamura. How on earth would he just know something like that? Or was he just good at making accusations and being right about them?
Jonouchi thought he might just break down and cry, but he refused.
Grabbing at Kaiba's shoulder, he spun him around before grabbing his black turtleneck and shoving him against the door. Kaiba's body was dense; the sound of his back hitting the wood resonated through the room. Jonouchi felt his slender fingers wrap around his wrists immediately. He had a strong grip, and he was twisting as he squeezed, like he was about to break them. Jonouchi knew a stalemate when he met one, but it didn't even matter to him at this point. His vision was blurry, and he thought it was because of his anger at first. It wasn't until he felt stinging at the corners that he realized he was crying.
"Don't you fucking mention that!" Jonouchi shouted, too distraught to be concerned about volume anymore. Kaiba opened his mouth to speak, but Jonouchi shoved him into the door again. He felt more twisting on his wrists and ignored it. "Don't you say a fucking thing about that, Kaiba, because it wouldn't have happened in the first place if it wasn't for you!"
Kaiba looked surprised, and was probably going to argue, but Jonouchi had caught his breath enough to continue.
"How dare you judge me, after the shit you started! I can't believe you! How can you accuse me of having no self-respect when you never had to experience what I have? How am I supposed to respect myself after something like that?"
He could barely breathe. His throat was tightening to the point that he shuddered when he reached the end of his statements, his breath releasing in quiet sobs before he managed to pick up again. He wasn't even pushing Kaiba into the door anymore. The strength in his arms was gone. But Kaiba wasn't crushing his wrists anymore, either.
"I'm so sick of your rejection. You don't have any right to judge me like that," Jonouchi accused, though his posture was defeated. He felt dizzy and weak, but managed not to lose his footing. Then he realized that Kaiba was holding him up. "I'm so fucking fed up. I'm tired of your shit, I'm tired of his shit... all these fucking selfish assholes in my life..."
Jonouchi's knees buckled, and he gave up standing, fully prepared to break down and cry uncontrollably on the floor. But Kaiba's hands were on him, keeping him up for whatever reason. Jonouchi didn't want to fight with him. He didn't have the willpower for it anymore, and nothing he said would matter in the long run, anyway.
"Then leave him already, Jonouchi," Kaiba lifted him up, moving him to the bed and taking off his shoes before sighing. Jonouchi was a mess. He was sobbing uncontrollably, and Kaiba had never seen him in such a state before, but he couldn't blame him for that either. Not after he'd brought up Kitamura like that. It had been a low blow.
But he felt like it was necessary, too. Jonouchi was no saint. He didn't cause his misery, but he wasn't doing much to end it, either. Kaiba had begged him to leave Kitamura, made him promise he would, and still Jonouchi was running back to him like a stray dog looking for scraps when he knew he was just going to be kicked for eating it. Kaiba didn't like it, but what could he do about it?
"How exactly was this situation my fault?"
He only vaguely remembered that night, he'd been so drunk. Otogi had come over to harass him, and he saw Jonouchi hanging around Kitamura, just talking to him, but he appeared fine. Better than Kaiba was, and it didn't look like anything strange was going on. Just the same shit that was always going on at ritzy parties.
It had looked consensual.
"I can barely remember what happened that night, and you're blaming me for what another man did to you. How is that even fair?"
He could see Jonouchi crying into his pillow, getting snot everywhere, but Kaiba just sat there by his side and stroked his hair. He felt terrible. And there wasn't much he could do about it, now after the fact.
"Just fuck off," Jonouchi sobbed tragically, resenting and desiring the contact at the same time. He wanted the comfort, but he was still angry. He just wouldn't be able to show it really until he stopped crying. "I wouldn't have done shit with him if you weren't so nasty to me, so just stop talking to me already..."
Kind of an irrational request, since he was in Kaiba's room, getting tears and probably snot and maybe even drool into one of his pillows. He was rich, he could just buy a new one if it really bothered him that much.
"Who do you think you are, saying I'm beneath you," he sniffled, thinking he might regain control of himself, but then he felt Kaiba's fingers against his scalp again and ended up breaking down once more. He felt like he kept getting hit by waves, like everything that had been building up for the past months was releasing all at once. Probably the worst possible time, too. "You didn't mind me when we were in bed together, you asshole."
He was surprised he could breathe through the pillow. He was also surprised that Kaiba was trying to console him while he was continuing to spew insults. It made him feel horribly childish, but it was Kaiba's fault, anyway. His fault for bringing up Kitamura and reducing him to a hot mess of tears. His fault for being such a snob. An attractive, strangely charming and incredibly infuriating snob.
"I didn't think it was going to go anywhere."
Jonouchi used to talk like sex was just the same as eating and breathing, which was how most people looked at it, but then when it actually came down to it... Well, Jonouchi couldn't follow his own philosophy. His heart got tied into it. And Kaiba's hadn't... He hadn't allowed it to.
But Jonouchi lacked that kind of self-discipline, and as a result, they were stuck together in bed again, Jonouchi mad and bawling.
"I honestly thought we were just fooling around, because you liked me and I liked you. That was it," Kaiba explained. "And when I warned you about it getting too complicated, you said it wouldn't. And now you're mad at me like it's my fault and I'm somehow responsible for your feelings..."
"Because you are," Jonouchi insisted, gritting his teeth, but he was unable to sound truly angry while he was choked up. "Maybe it is my fault I fell in love with you. I admit that."
He sniffed, catching his breath a little. His body kept shaking when he exhaled, like it was preparing for another round.
"But you treated my feelings like a joke, right from the beginning, and that's your fault."
"It didn't make any sense. It still doesn't make any sense," Kaiba complained. "I upset you this much, but you still won't just drop me."
"I'm in love with you," Jonouchi lamented, sighing defeatedly. He wasn't sobbing so hard anymore, but there were still steady trails of tears streaming down his face no matter how often he wiped at them. "You can't be so ignorant that you don't understand love."
Much as he hated it, love forced people into stupid situations. It was proven that it could make someone completely overlook another person's faults, or forgive any wrong, and Jonouchi was stuck with that. Kaiba didn't seem to get it, which struck him as being odd. Wasn't he supposed to be the smart, worldly one between them?
"Maybe it's just my lot in life to be stuck with people who abuse me."
"Oh shut up..."
Kaiba let go of Jonouchi's hair, his irritation rising again as he sat up against the bed more. He didn't want to hear that 'pity me' crap from someone who willingly went back to get beat on over and over again from a man who had raped him. Jonouchi had been given so many opportunities to walk away and find a clean break, but he didn't. It didn't make any sense to Kaiba, how Jonouchi could allow himself to be stuck in such a situation, but he wasn't in his shoes.
It would probably never make sense to him because of that. They didn't have the same life experiences, and Kaiba had vowed a long time ago that he wouldn't allow anyone to prey on him again. Ignorance was just an excuse, and he wasn't going to be someone's victim because he was too blind to watch out for himself.
Maybe Jonouchi didn't grow up fast enough to reach that same conclusion.
"I don't understand how you could love me, but that's irrelevant. Love is an irrational emotion, and it's never helped anyone."
"You're so full of it," Jonouchi groaned, "I can't believe you. Always trying so hard to deny the most fundamental parts of humanity and then turning around, ranting and raving about the human heart and romantic notions... Love certainly seemed to do well for your brother, you prick..."
Jonouchi wiped at his eyes, hopefully for the last time tonight. He didn't feel stinging or choked anymore. Now he was drained. He'd hoped to feel relieved after crying that hard, but that didn't seem to be the case.
"I wanted to stop sleeping with you until I got my shit together, you know," Jonouchi stated quietly, his eyes closed as he lay with his head to the side, "I didn't want to get you caught up in all this crap, but I wasn't strong enough to just stop. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, though. I couldn't even get Kitamura off my back. How was I supposed to refuse you?"
He frowned at the memory of that night. He still regretted his lack of willpower, honestly. Things could have gone so much better if he'd managed it. But of course, his weakness for feeling wanted had gotten the better of him. That, and the fact that he hadn't expected Kaiba to come after him. It was a first, and his determination had been so overwhelming that Jonouchi had barely worked up the nerve to stop him from actually boning him.
"I can't even be mad at you for thinking so badly of me, actually," he grumbled, "It's nothing I haven't thought myself. I haven't done anything lately to prove you wrong, either."
"How did he damage you so thoroughly?"
"How should I know?" Jonouchi replied, though he was wracking his brain for a response. "I guess.. it's just everything. The way he treats me during sex, and the way he acts when we aren't having sex. I can't really explain. I hate him so much, but he isn't mean to me or anything... he's just forceful."
He sighed, trying to come up with a way to describe an answer to Kaiba's question. Finding none, he opted for explaining what had been happening in chronological order.
"When I met with him, the day after he took advantage of me, I told him he was too rough. At the time, I wasn't sure about it being rape, so I just blamed myself for making bad decisions but I was mad at him, for treating me badly too, so I brought it up. He told me that I should have said something and suggested that I prepare myself beforehand in the future.
"I was pissed when he said it, but I believed him. It's not like I knew any better. At first I kept going back for the extra cash and because the sex wasn't terrible..."
Well, compared to Kaiba, it was horrendous, but Jonouchi was too embarrassed to bring it up. Maybe Kaiba could tell he was thinking it anyway. He knew he was blushing.
"It just got worse over time. I'm angry and defiant when I see him, and somehow he always convinces me. It's sad that he doesn't even need alcohol to get me to sleep with him.
"After I told you about it, I tried to just drop him. I ignored his texts, but he tracked me down on the street. Then I ran, and I was stupid and tried talking to him because I didn't want to just cut it off without telling him why. I didn't know it wouldn't have any effect on him at all."
Kitamura was either wired completely wrongly, or was a cruel son of a bitch, because he didn't understand Jonouchi's complaints in the slightest. He still remembered that night at the restaurant with painfully accurate clarity. Thinking about it now, he couldn't fathom why he'd spent the rest of the evening with him. But in person, it was like Kitamura had some strange influence over him.
"He manipulates me so easily, it's embarrassing. I don't even know what he does, but it works. No matter what I think before or after, I can't hold my ground against him in person. I went to dinner with him after trying to break up and somehow I agreed to let him take me to the mall, and then to a hotel. Half the time I don't even know why I do anything with him after looking back on it."
He opened his eyes, nervously looking up toward Kaiba's face for a brief moment. He couldn't quite see Kaiba's expression. The angle was too extreme. He was listening so quietly that Jonouchi couldn't even tell what he must be thinking. Probably nothing good, but at least Jonouchi finally had someone to talk to. He could get it off his chest.
"You were right. I did see him earlier, and we had sex. It was horrible and I punched him as hard as I could before I left."
"Well, I'm glad you did something to make a point," Kaiba answered. He wanted to laugh at that image, but thought best not to. He just went back to stroking Jonouchi's hair as Jonouchi laid there in silence, looking up at his blue eyes. "Will that be the last you'll be seeing of him?"
He couldn't fathom why anyone would stick around with someone who had them so unhappy. Especially getting sucked into a 'relationship' that was just a way of saving face so neither man would have to fess up to being involved in prostitution. Jonouchi probably didn't like thinking of it that way, but what else could it be? Pay for date was just that.
"You don't need Kitamura for his money, and although you're a bit of an idiot, Jonouchi, you don't deserve that shit at all. You're too pretty for someone like that, in my humble opinion."
He was trying to make a joke, ruffling Jonouchi's hair, but he was sure his messed up humor got lost between the angst that was being dealt with.
Jonouchi did smile a little bit, maybe mostly because his body was trying to find relief from his poor mood, but he did feel a thrill at the compliment. Then he got embarrassed about it and hid his face in the pillow until he could get his expression under control. He sighed, relaxing for a few seconds while Kaiba stroked his hair.
"I honestly don't know, Kaiba," he admitted, "It's like... I can think whatever I want, but when the moment comes, I just let him do what he wants. I don't really know why. Maybe I'll just get a new phone... he doesn't know where I live..."
Hopefully. Actually, he probably did. It wouldn't surprise Jonouchi if Kitamura tracked his movements using the phone GPS. He wished he'd thought about it earlier, but he wasn't a stalker and didn't normally associate with people like that. Most people didn't think about their damn phone being a tracking device. Those kinds of things were supposed to be used by families, for mothers to know where their kids were. Not for a rapist to keep track of his 'boyfriend'.
Jonouchi would have to save up the money, or maybe borrow from Mokuba. He could buy a new phone (one he could afford) and then Kitamura couldn't text him. If Kitamura couldn't text, then Jonouchi wouldn't meet him. Problem solved, right? Maybe. If Kitamura wasn't resourceful.
Kitamura was definitely resourceful...
"I feel like I can't get away from him," Jonouchi stared at Kaiba's pants vacantly, feeling strangely cold again. Goosebumps rose on his arms so quickly that it actually hurt a little, and he huddled up on his side, rubbing the skin. "Even that time I ran from him, I felt like I wouldn't get away. I know he must do it on purpose."
"I'd volunteer to scare him off, but that wouldn't work with a guy like this," Kaiba cautioned. "He's not going to go away until you make him disappear. And that means being assertive. What happened to the Jonouchi I used to know who didn't let anyone walk over him without giving a piece of his mind? Don't let him play you...
"Especially if he's just using you and you're not even getting anything out of it. That's ridiculous, Jonouchi. Grow a backbone and tell him to piss off. And mean it."
Maybe having punched him in the face would help. Kaiba certainly hoped so. It seemed like a stepping stone to improvement, but maybe he was just being hopeful. Jonouchi seemed overwhelmed by the situation, but unwilling to do much about it.
"I'll give you a damn phone if that's what it takes to drop him. And I already gave you a job. You don't need his money."
"He hasn't paid me since I tried to break up with him," Jonouchi muttered, "Which doesn't really make me look any better, but there it is. I'm not sure about the phone, Kaiba, I don't think it actually matters."
His jaw clenched. It was escapism to change his number or get a new phone. It would be helpful, but he wasn't sure he should drag Kaiba into it anymore than he already had. It would be up to him, in the end, wouldn't it?
"Even if I did change my number, I think he'd be able to find me anyway. Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out.
"I should have broken his damn ribs," Jonouchi grimaced, "Probably wouldn't make a difference, but I'd feel that much better."
"And he'd probably get your punk ass thrown in jail for that, so I'm glad you didn't go that far," mused Kaiba, "But you're right about one thing, Jonouchi. If you don't want to deal with his shit any longer, then you need to handle it yourself. It won't work otherwise."
Kaiba finished stroking Jonouchi's hair, stiffening up once he realized just how close they were. He didn't mean for them to have a "moment", but it had already happened, and hopefully it would pass over before anything weird occurred. He didn't want something coming out of it, and he got up from the bed before pulling the curtains back to show the view of the city, standing there near the glass with his arms folded.
"I'm really mad that you just stormed in here trying to pick a fight with me, but I guess I'll get over it. Considering all the shit that's happened between the two of us, I guess it's only fair. I haven't been honest or fair to you, either."
"I won't debate that," Jonouchi laughed briefly, "But that doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry."
He squirmed a little, feeling guilty, and then he sighed. "I won't make any excuses.."
He turned onto his back at last, looking up at Kaiba. He was too lazy to get up yet, but he'd have to eventually. He doubted he was allowed to sleep in Kaiba's bedroom at the moment, and he'd need at least ten minutes to peel the borrowed clothes off of him.
"I'm honestly not sure why you've put up with me for this long," said Jonouchi, though he glad he did. He didn't know how Kaiba dealt with his damaged ass. Even if he did enjoy the sex, it seemed like he would choose to keep that much crazy as far away as possible. Then again, they were friends. It was a nice thought, the idea that Kaiba really and truly meant it.
"You can be charming sometimes," Kaiba walked over to the lights in the bedroom, turning them off and sitting by the empty side of his large bed, kicking off his socks and taking off his shirt, "When you want to be."
He was debating if he wanted to even bother cleaning up in the bathroom or not. His teeth were already brushed and everything, but sometimes it was a good idea to just wash up in case of oil built up. Kaiba was sensitive about that sort of thing, his appearance, for practical (and vanity reasons), but he was too tired to bother going over to the bathroom and picking at his face for several minutes looking for something to freak out over.
He just got his pants off and laid down under the sheets. They were warm, from sitting on top of them earlier, and he relaxed while the city lights shone on him. Jonouchi seemed to be still, like he was trying not to be noticed lying there next to him, but Kaiba wasn't thinking too much about having the company. It certainly helped him sleep better, so he wasn't going to complain over it.
Jonouchi continued to lie quietly until Kaiba settled in, and then he turned over on his side, facing him. Kaiba had partially assumed he'd be on couch duty tonight, but it seemed that Jonouchi was done arguing. For the moment. He seemed perfectly happy to be back in Kaiba's, even if the context was platonic.
"So," Jonouchi spoke quietly, not sure if Kaiba was still awake or not. He seemed very relaxed. "When I try to be charming, it actually works? I always kind of wondered if maybe you were only humoring me."
"Sometimes. You're more lucky than most people, so you really should be telling me how well your attempts actually work out. I'm not paying enough attention to keep count most of the time..."
Besides, he was worn out, and thought Jonouchi would be, too. Especially after having a run in with Kitamura during the day, subsequently having sex with him. How could he still have the energy to talk after all of that? They had been fighting just minutes ago, too, heatedly...
"Aren't you tired?" Kaiba asked, turning around enough just to see Jonouchi's lit up face in the dark. His face looked pretty pleased with himself over his new position.
"Nope," Jonouchi smiled, "I was a little drained earlier, but I'm over it. Are you tired?"
Kaiba probably was. Sulking and working in his room all day had probably taken a lot of energy. Jonouchi had mostly run around with Mokuba. The most tiring part of the day had been crying, honestly, but that was emotional exhaust.
"I mean, if you are, I'll stop bothering you. I just missed talking to you and shit."
"... Did Mokuba take you over to the convention center?"
"Yeah, he did. It looks like there's gonna be quite a show."
He was actually looking forward to going. The tickets and credentials needed to go would normally be unattainable to him, but Mokuba hooked him up.
"He said you aren't running the show, though. When did you stop taking every chance you could to show off?" Jonouchi teased, recalling Kaiba's showboating of the past. Maybe he was just trying to give Mokuba room to make his own name. Or he was tired of making public appearances.
"Mokuba asked for the responsibility, so I gave it to him. He's the same age I was when I took over, so I don't see any reason why he can't handle the pressure. It's not like I just threw him the reins and told him to run with it... He still asks me for help, because he doesn't have experience in these sort of matters, but it's his project..."
Besides, Mokuba always felt like he was just watching things from the sidelines. He had begged for the opportunity to have something that was purely his own, a project of magnitude that was his. Kaiba wasn't going to stop him from enjoying what he wanted, and he had worked hard enough for the chance, so it just all fell together.
That, and Kaiba loved an excuse to not be around people.
"I guess he's really growing up then," Jonouchi mumbled. Kaiba seemed almost defensive, which was a little strange. Maybe he thought Jonouchi didn't have as much faith in Mokuba as he should. He definitely thought the kid was capable, he'd seen that in the past. "I'm glad you have someone to help you out with company shit, anyway. You work way too hard."
Enough that he refused sex from exhaustion, in fact, which Jonouchi thought was utterly ridiculous. No one should be that tired.
"Don't you ever want a break? Like a vacation, or just time to relax outside of going to bed? I mean, I do what I can to help," Jonouchi grinned, feeling a little giddy at the thought. He had to admit that he missed fooling around. "But you shouldn't work so long. It's bad for you, and I don't want you having a heart attack at thirty like all those other businessmen they keep finding..."
"I wouldn't know what to do with myself on a vacation..."
Kaiba couldn't really imagine that. What would he do with free time and no projects? He liked for work. He liked having something to accomplish, a goal that needed solving. Work wasn't always tedious, most of it was concept work that he liked doing despite having his own department just for that, and wanting to personalize everything he worked on, Kaiba couldn't help getting sucked into Kaiba Corporation even during free time.
It helped him, anyway. He was a year ahead of everyone else business wise and at least a decade when it came to technology. Kaiba had no competition, in that regard, and he worked hard to keep it that way.
Work was like a game for him.
After several years of operating that way since being a child, it was just normal to him. Nothing he did during a given day lacked a purpose, either being to keep him alive or give him a roof over his head. There was no time for intrinsic activities, and he couldn't even remember the things he used to like before being adopted, outside of music. There wasn't much he could be afforded after his father died.
"I'm not going to get a heart attack for solving physics equations all day. Don't worry about it, I'm fine."
"Right," Jonouchi was still a little skeptical, but didn't press, "Do you enjoy working? It's great if you do, don't get me wrong. In high school they always had these bullshit seminars on practicing what you enjoy because that would be the best career."
Jonouchi had always felt patronized by it. He still didn't know what he wanted to do. He knew what he was good at, which was mostly things with his hands and duel monsters.
"I'm a little jealous, actually. It's gotta be nice to have work you love and you're good at. But I guess you had to bust your ass making it that way."
"It didn't come naturally."
"Your skills and talents did," Jonouchi replied, "If anyone could just make physics their bitch with enough practice, then your business wouldn't be so successful. I'd like to be talented at something like that."
He was pretty talented at doing things with other men, but that wasn't really that outstanding. Nor was it something he planned to turn into a business... ever.
Jonouchi also had been great at duel monsters, once upon a time, but that career hadn't worked out. He was still lost.
"It must be strange to be that smart," Jonouchi said without thinking.
"It seems normal to me. But this is the only thing I know..."
Kaiba was becoming too tired to really pay Jonouchi that much attention. His lids were falling and his breathing was slowing as his body started aching for sleep. It was like a physical response he couldn't fight back, and no matter how many questions Jonouchi asked, he could feel his responses slowing down before his mind would completely blank out.
"You talk too much. It's late. Go to sleep, Jonouchi..."
If he wouldn't, Kaiba certainly was going to.
"I can try," Jonouchi mumbled uncertainly, "It's been a crazy day."
He moved closer, nudging Kaiba's back accidentally because he couldn't quite see him. Wrapping one arm around him, he heard a quiet sound like a grumble come from Kaiba. Was he honestly surprised? Not upset, since he wasn't trying to remove him, so Jonouchi snorted.
"We made up, so it's cuddle time. Get over it. Should feel lucky that I'm not demanding more..."
Not that he wouldn't like that, but he was avoiding pushing that boundary. He didn't know how safe it was to push Kaiba's buttons. Not while Jonouchi was still unsure of what he was going to do about Kitamura. He knew what he wanted to do, but he didn't exactly get what he wanted with Kitamura. Still, he felt more resolve than before, and that was something.
He also wasn't sure if Kaiba would allow anything between them, still. It didn't seem like Kaiba should, after everything that had been said. Jonouchi wasn't sure what he'd meant and what he hadn't, at this point.
Kaiba couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to protest. He went out cold, snoring lightly as he allowed everything to slow down and open his mind to dreams. It was always better, being away from the bedroom and with another human being, and he didn't wake up once through the entire night.