Hammerhead.
Warnings: Violence, bad language, gore and possibly some sex.
"Through this doorway what's on the other side, never knowing exactly what I'll find, locked and loaded, voices screaming: let's go, come on do it, here we go!" – Hammerhead, the Offspring.
Timing: Post season 2 finale, set few weeks after Beauty of the Beast in my very own BotB Prime Timeline (due to ending of the series and because the first chapter was posted before the last season was aired).
Rating: M (alternative – if there will be any – or extended chapters will go MA and will be available on my Tumblr account, the address is available on my profile page).
Pairings: Megatron and June, Bumblebee and Miko, maybe some Shockwave and Arcee.
Disclaimer: Transformers Prime © Hasbro. Story's plot and OC's © me. There may be some OC's that aren't mine – they belong to their respective creators.
Spellcheck performed by Monstrous-hourglass of dA.
Look at Yourself.
I see you running, don't know what you're running from
Nobody's coming, what'd you do that was so wrong?
Look back and turn back, look at yourself
Don't be afraid just look at yourself.
If you need assistance or if all you need is love
There's no point in hiding, tell me what you're frightened of
You've got a friend, just look at yourself
Don't be afraid, just look at yourself.(…) – "Look at Yourself" Uriah Heep
oOo
Nevada, the third day of the joined scouting mission.
It was third day of the cooperation. The first day was a success, or to be more exact: it wasn't total, epic, spectacular failure. It was far from perfect but it was bearable, of course they didn't found anything, as it was expected.
Bulkhead and Knockout returned first, they looked rather unaffected except for Bulkhead promising Knockout to scrape his red, shiny finish clean off if the Decepticon Medic would even again call him 'Breakdown' by accident or otherwise. It wasn't very bad.
Wheeljack and Soundwave were next with Wheeljack demanding that Soundwave controlled his 'overgrown metallic parrot'; as it turned out Laserbeak had low boredom threshold and began to throw small stones at both Soundwave and Wheeljack to get their attention. It went better than anticipated.
Bumblebee and Gavin were last to arrive with the Autobot Scout looking rather smug and Gavin having small energon leak from his oral opening – equivalent of burst lip plate. Apparently the Vehicon was too curious about Bumblebee's sexual life, especially his partner and the young Autobot simply hit the Decepticon after one question too many. Or was that one obnoxious comment? In any case Megatron only stated that it served Gavin well and the Vehicon apologised, according to himself for a tenth time with Bumblebee claiming that he's not mad (anymore) but he won't be having that kind of conversations even again. It was acceptable.
Shockwave himself couldn't find any reason to complain over his own assignment, be that the part of the desert he was searching or his appointed partner. They both remained silent since the day one. Arcee never uttered a single word and continued to be cooperative, if not exactly friendly. Or it looked so at first. After two days Shockwave could see that the femme was deeply upset though she did her best not to show it.
The one eyed Decepticon found it to be understandable for her to be like this, her personal files indicated clearly that she had traumatic experiences in the servos of Arachnid. Shockwave was once again grateful for the Shadowplay performed on him (though he would be just as 'happy' without the accompanying Empurata) that gave him peace of mind and made him immune to similar traumas. It didn't stop him from cultivating or even developing sentiments but it prevented him from being as vulnerable as others. The beauty of the Shadowplay was that while it separated emotional parts of his brain module it didn't change any part of his personality as such. And as much as some would like it to, it couldn't affect his Spark, thus the most primeval feelings had to remain intact, Lobe solved the problem by re-wiring them around the conscious part of brain-module and connecting them to Shockwave's antennae centres. As a result Shockwave never consciously felt any emotions, but his antennae worked just like canine ears 1] one could read them if one knew how. Just as one could read wings, winglets and doorwings.
Shockwave glanced at the two-wheeler again. She was crouching and examining sand and gravel with her back to him. He wasn't one to fool himself that she trusted him; she just could sense his movements with her winglets, the same winglets that allowed him to read her mood. He decided that the best course of action would be confronting the femme, it was only logical. The question was how should he approach her, since he was no longer able to simply chat about irrelevant issues? His best chance was direct approach. He knew he could take the brunt of her ire should she attack him due to his initiative.
His antennae stirred as he took few steps closer to the Autobot femme, his single optic focused on her much smaller frame, ready to defend himself in case of her aggression but careful not to pose any threat and keep his cannon-arm pointed at the ground. He did everything he could to look as non-threatening as possible. Not an easy task given his bulky and intimidating form. He was aware that no matter how much he tried he always looked ominous, but he could minimize the effect by not moving his cannon too much.
"Autobot?" He began knowing that it was her courtesy not to snap at him first, he knew she felt him approach thanks to her winglets and the fact that his steps were heavy.
"What do you want?" Her voice was calm but low, she was on the verge of growling. She slowly rose to her pedes but didn't turn to face him.
"I have noticed that you are acrimonious. I am deducing that the source of your discomfort is none other than me." Shockwave stood still, trying to look and act as mellow as possible.
"And you only noticed it now?" She turned and gave him angry look.
"No, I have been observing various symptoms of your anger ever since our first day." He said calmly, her stance was aggressive but he didn't want to provoke her. "At first they were easy to miss, but they increase every cycle."
Arcee narrowed her optics, her lips forming a scowl. She wasn't happy with any of this but she knew that there was more to this entire situation. Too much was at stake, they had a mission to carry out, even if it was futile search, they had to try. If not her, then perhaps someone else would find any kind of clue. She knew that she couldn't afford to repeat the scenario with Starscream.
"Optimus gave an order and I know how important this is." She finally said in slightly calmer voice. "I won't jeopardise the mission and I will follow Optimus' orders. Don't worry; I won't go berserk on you." She didn't add that she would be happy to do just that.
"Still, you are angry and I am the source of it, it may influence our results. The optimal conditions would be if we both could relax enough to focus on our mission and not on the fact that each other's presence unsettle us." Shockwave took one step back to show that he mean no harm. "I propose to solve the problem by discussion about your need of hostility."
Arcee stared at the mech in silence for a good minute. "Now this is just rich!" She spat. "You want to talk about my issues? Since when did you became Rung?" 2]
"I do not understand." Shockwave backed another step, this time not on purpose. "I wish to make our cooperation more bearable for you and for myself." He explained. "I see no problem in cooperating with you, but you clearly have problem with me."
"Our cooperation would be bearable if you'd disappear in thin air!"
"Is your attitude is the result of our meeting on Cybertron?" Shockwave knew that it was, but he knew that it was important for the femme to admit it herself.
"What do you think?" The scowl deepened. It wasn't a good sign, but she had yet to attack, so Shockwave remained unmoving.
"I believe that you hold a grudge over my use of Cortical Psychic Patch on you during the interrogation." The Decepticon braced himself for an attack.
Arcee felt her arms starting to transform to reveal her blades but she stopped the impulse in the last moment. She decided to not allow herself to be provoked. "You can say that."
"You do have history of bad experience during interrogations." Shockwave wasn't certain if touching this subject would end with one homicidal Autobot femme or not, but he was curious just how much of the femme's anger was directed at him and how much at Decepticons in general. "If I am not mistaken you had the misfortune of having Arachnid as your first interrogator."
Arcee felt her Spark freeze. Of course he would know, Arachnid had to file some sort of report, if only to explain the loss of foot soldiers; that and he poked in her head, she wasn't sure just how much he saw in her mind.
"You would know, wouldn't you?" The femme covered her angst with cold. It was the best way she knew to manage her fears, traumas and anger: act emotionlessly. Her enemies couldn't exploit a weakness they didn't know was there. "You poked inside of my mind!"
"I have read reports of Arachnid's interrogations, and her personal file." Shockwave admitted. "She is renowned for her cruelty and bloodlust. In time she started to push the limits and finally fled."
"You know what she did to me! She killed my partner! She was fixated on getting me."
"You are mistaken." Shockwave allowed himself a deeper in-vent. This was proving to be more complicated than he anticipated. "Arachnid did much more than just traumatise you. Lord Megatron informed Tarn of her transgressions, she is officially on D.J.D's List. 3]."
"Well, they can dream of capturing her. I caught her once and I will do it again, and if I will, Tarn and his merry bunch can drool over their lost prey." And there was the anger Shockwave was curious about. It wasn't pure fury one could expect, it was cold and calculated. It wasn't boasting, the femme simply stated what will happen.
"What happened with her? Did she escape?"
"She got lost." Arcee was riding her icy fury. "And don't think I got over what you did!"
"You weren't harmed. I didn't even draw any of your energon in the process." Shockwave knew that he was close to making her attack but he was ready for that all the time.
"You invited my mind; the pain felt like it lasted for centuries." Arcee changed her stance, ready for combat.
"I was after only one data file, and the pain was side effect of your resistance, it wasn't inflicted on purpose." Shockwave explained calmly.
"You were in my head!"
Shockwave suppressed a heavy vent. He did enter her neural structure, there was no denying that and it wasn't pleasurable experience, especially for Arcee, but neither for him. "And in turn you shot me in the optic." He decided to repel her accusations with his own. "You blinded me."
Arcee blinked, she didn't expect Shockwave to retaliate. "You shot Cliffjumper and were advancing on us while keep on shooting."
"You sabotaged my Spacebridge. You expected me to praise you for it? You were prisoners on the run, it was only logical to give pursuit." Shockwave stirred his antennae forward while his winglets lowered slightly. "I was performing my duties without unnecessary cruelty, but without any misplaced sympathies either. You cannot blame me for the fact that we are at war."
"And here's where you're wrong! It was you, Decepticons, that started the war. You wanted to fight. You murdered entire Senate just because it fitted you!" Arcee minimally relaxed and crossed her arms, positioned herself for prolonged argument.
"And did you ever care about why we did so? Have you ever paid any attention of what the last three Primes before the war were doing?" Shockwave's stare became somehow more intense, observing the Autobot femme's reactions.
What he received was not what he expected. There was confusion on Arcee's face, it lasted just for a moment, replaced by furrowed opticbrows and a hard stare. "I don't remember. I was sparked shortly after Nominus' disappearance and was too young to remember all of Sentinel's actions, I only remember the last cycles of his rule, then Decepticons and Zeta taking over. I was barely old enough to join Autobots when the war finally broke out for good."
"You are young indeed." Shockwave nodded slightly, it was what he suspected. "One of the last generations. You may recognize my name, if not appearance… I remember those times all too well."
"You're the Jhiaxus' disciple, his last student. You were a politician if I remember."
"I was a Senator during Sentinel's regime. I was still just a scientist during Nominus' rule, then I opened the Jhiaxian Academy of Advanced Technology and became Senator." Shockwave's antennae eased back and his winglets rose up. "I have seen what the Senate was doing and what the Council failed to do first hand. The Decepticon movement only started because of that."
"Then why haven't you done anything? You were a Senator!"
"But I did, or tried to do. You may not remember that well, but I caused few scandals… It didn't end well, at least not for me." Shockwave turned back and walked few steps away. "Sentinel and the Senate were too strong for me to fight alone."
"But extermination of an entire Senate just to make a point was one step too far!" Arcee held her position firmly. "My sire was an Elite Guard member, he was summoned after Megatron's massacre, he saw what was left of Sentinel."
"Served him good… Sentinel that is. And the Senate. Only three Senators survived that day. I, Dai Atlas and Ratbat. And that is one Ratbat too many." Arcee could see that Shockwave's winglets went rigid, a sign of physical tension, equivalent of clenched fists, though Shockwave probably did it subconsciously.
"The Senate was corrupted but the Senators couldn't be that bad…"
"They were far worse." Shockwave hunched slightly but didn't look back.
"My sire took me a few times to his work; he had permission because my school project was to describe my creators' job. I've seen the place, even seen a few Senators, they weren't monsters as Megatron likes to describe them." The femme rested her hands on her hips, she was ready to argue, she knew what she saw back then. A piece of a better world, one of her sparkhood's best memories, the first or very few times when she felt and was treated like a true lady.
"Yes they were. You just couldn't see that. You'd had to know them closer to notice. They were very good at maintaining their façade." Shockwave turned his head slightly, he couldn't see Arcee but that wasn't the point.
"You can't be serious."
"Can't I?" Shockwave spun around holding his both arms up, his right servo and cannon on the level of his head. The Cannon pointed high above Arcee's head. "Look at me and tell me do I look like I jest?"
"What?" It was Arcee's time to back few steps.
"This, all this, is Senator Proteus and Sentinel's doing." Shockwave focused his stare on his limbs. "They did this to me. I used to have normal face, normal servos and wings."
"What did you do? You were Senator; shouldn't you be safe from it?" Arcee focused her stare at the cannon arm still pointed at the sky.
"I opposed Proteus one times too many without having strong enough back-up, be that influential relative or being a war hero. Only a Prime was safe from Empurata." Shockwave's antennae moved forward, Arcee didn't know how to read them but she could guess that Shockwave was deeply disturbed by his memories, even if he himself couldn't recognise his Spark's reactions. "If you wanted to submit a Senator to Empurata you had to have entire Senate permission. There was only one single vote against, only Dai Atlas wasn't afraid of opposing Proteus and only he could get away with it. And when you wanted to submit a noble to Empurata, you had to have Prime's permission for that. Proteus had no trouble getting that from Sentinel."
"I find it hard to believe that anyone in their right mind would go through all that because someone opposed them."
"I wasn't always as calm and composed as I am now." Shockwave lowered his arm, his cannon pointing at the ground once again. "I did start few fights. Fist fights."
Arcee's optics grew large at the statement. Her face expressed utter shock and surprise. "You… I now remember you. You were… I remember footage… I remember a short video from the news channel; it showed a fight in the Senate. It was you, wasn't it? One Senator sitting on the other, struggling one in the circle of unconscious mechs." Arcee tried to wipe the grin of off her face.
"Yes. That was one of my 'Emotional Outbursts Unbecoming a Senator" episodes. The one you speak of was the fifth out of six. I have beaten ten Senators, then hit Proteus with a piece of furniture and proceeded to punch him in the facial plating. It took Dai Atlas to sit on me to prevent me from beating Proteus into sheet metal."
"You looked funny, wagging your arms and legs while the large Senator sat on you." Arcee managed control her face.
"The sixth time was just before Nominus official burial ceremony. Orion Pax already knew Megatronus, and Sentinel's rule was settled well enough. Finally I accused Proteus for illegal taking over the Senate; I knew that he ordered Nominus' death and that he chose Sentinel to act as his puppet Prime." Shockwave vented deeply. "The answer didn't come instantly. When I was away Proteus called emergency voting session, voted my Empurata, then gave Sentinel official permission to sign as I was a Tarnian noble. They caught me and dragged me to the Institute, one of its facilities."
"But you remained Senator, you still could fight Proteus." Arcee lost all her humour.
"Empurata was just a mean of visual stigmatisation and cover for a procedure called Shadowplay, not yet sanctioned by the law, but already performed. Do you know what it was?"
"Yes. It was used often enough when Zeta was the Prime; it replaced Empurata after it was banned." Arcee nodded. She remembered that one of the first edicts of Zeta was banning Empurata, renaming everything as 'New' and calling in a New Senate with fresh set of Senators. Even the Elite Guard became New Elite Guard, only Guardians were 'old'.
"There were many types of Shadowplay. The one used on me was meant to cut off my emotional centres and re-wire my Spark's basic emotional input to pass around conscious parts of my brain module and plug it into subconscious part. It was meant to render me docile, obeying Proteus and not causing any stir. I found Shadowplay to be liberating, but I was severely mangled after the Empurata."
"Still you didn't have to become Decepticon, you could join Autobots." Arcee observed the Decepticon with unsettled tanks; this was the first time that any Decepticon told her their story personally.
"No I couldn't, for many reasons. It was Megatron who approached me first, he gave me my hands back, he gave me my cannon so I could fight. When all my colleagues kept their distance, the majority of society ostracised me, only Decepticons accepted me as I was at the time." Shockwave risked looking straight into Arcee's face once again. "And I couldn't join Autobots for those who were responsible for what happened to me and many others were in your ranks."
"You mean those who served under Sentinel's rule?"
"No, I mean those who performed Shadowplay and Empurata on me." Shockwave's kept Arcee pinned with his stare. "Those who dragged me to the Institute, those who continued to perform mnemosurgery under Zeta's orders in his New Institute and those who gained a lot of personal profit from it all."
"I know that there are many of those who served injustice among us, but people change. Most of them understand now that what they did was wrong. I know a mech, he was mnemosurgeon in the New Institute, he is beating himself over what he done in the past. And just do you would know most of mnemosurgeons that worked in New Institute suffer from chronic helmaches and memory fluxes composed from memories of other people."
"And yet, so many of them yearn for the old times to return." Shockwave's winglets lowered and his antennae lay almost horizontal. Arcee had no problem with reading this. The mech was upset even if he didn't know that.
"You can't blame people for being nostalgic." Arcee's own winglets rose up and positioned themselves high in authoritative positions, she felt in charge now. "I know that Megatron brags over being The Champion of Gladiatorial Pits of Kaon."
"I do find it odd, but it was the Gladiatorial Arena that elevated him high enough to start a political career." Shockwave's antennae and winglets tensed even more. "There is nothing that I would like to brag about from the times of so called Golden Age. My greatest accomplishments are connected with Decepticons."
"Yeah, I know. I have seen and experienced few of them." Arcee twitched remembering the Cortical Psychic Patch, Spacebridge and dozens of other things that Decepticons threw at her.
"Do you now understand why I wanted to clear things out for our own good?" The Decepticon seemed to calm as his winglets and antennae shifted to more natural positions.
"You wanted to clear the atmosphere? Sorry to disappoint you but Decepticons are still my enemies." Arcee's frown returned but this time much milder.
"I do not expect you to join my faction, Autobot, but I did hope that you would understand that it is in our best interest to cooperate smoothly as all you have experienced from my servo wasn't personal but my duty. You have no need to be cautious or scared of me." Shockwave explained. "And I would appreciate for you to be able to guarantee me the same."
"I said it already once, I won't go berserk on you, I have my orders." Arcee noted that Shockwave's antennae halted abruptly on their way to neutral position.
"I see. If you haven't been ordered otherwise, would you fight me?"
"I don't know. Maybe." The femme shrugged slightly. "Before today? Certainly. Now? I don't know… I haven't decided yet. We should stop talking and start looking."
"As you wish. Out duties come first."
"You spoke just like some drone." Arcee flinched. She knew he couldn't do anything about it, but it still was weird. Maybe even weirder that she suddenly felt more easy around him, probably because he told her so much about himself.
"I am not a drone. I am a mech." Shockwave stated. "If you do not believe me…"
"I believe you." Arcee growled. She had to remember that he held no shame, only logic. "And, just so you would know, the silence from before wasn't only because I didn't want to socialize with you."
"Do you want to socialize with me now Autobot?" He asked while looking behind large boulder.
"I would appreciate if you would use my proper name." Arcee carefully ignored the question. "The silence was also because a Scout should be silent but deadly."
"You do realize that on this planet this statement has entirely different meaning?" Shockwave looked back at the femme, his winglets in relaxed position and his antennae eased minimally back.
"Not you too…" 4]
TBC
1] If Seeker's wings act similar to feline ears, then it is only fair that Shockwave's antennae will act like canine ears (they already are placed in the right spot for that).
2] For those who don't know, Rung is Autobot psychologist/psychiatrist, some sort of shrink. He collects spacecraft models, he's historical constant (he's always there, but no one notices him, he's perfect background, he's like wallpaper), no one remembers his name and he has very, and I mean VERY, expressive opticbrows. Oh, and where others have some neat stuff, like null rays, grapples, hands turning into wrecking balls, Rung has a microphone in his thumb and very bright Spark (very tasty if you're a Sparkeater).
3] D.J.D. – Decepticon Justice Division. Don't be fooled, they don't do any "justice" they deal in punishment department. They hunt down Decepticons that did something, anything, against the faction, be that betrayal or cowardice on the battlefield (sometimes stupidity will do). The D.J.D. consists of Tarn, Kaon, Vos, Helex, Tesarus and The Pet. Pretty happy bunch. Not.
4] See Transformers Prime, season 1 ep. 18 "Metal Attraction."
And as for the Poll about Decepticons, the results are following:
1. Blitzwing (Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II/Israeli Merkava tank);
2. Astrotrain (USSR Buran space shuttle/X2 tilt train);
3. Skywarp (Saab JAS 39 Gripen);
4. Octane (Bartini Berier VVA-14/tanker ship);
5. Strika – the only femme (GTK Boxer Armoured Personell Carrier);
6. Thundercracker (Boeing F/A-18E/F Super Hornet);
7. Swindle (Jeep Cheerokee);
8. Hook (crane).
So in the incoming fic we will have the pleasure of seeing following Decepticons:
Barricade (as Highway Patroll cop car), Motormaster (as truck), Blitzwing (as Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II/Israeli Merkava tank), Astrotrain (as USSR Buran space shuttle/X2 tilt train) and Skywarp (as Saab JAS 39 Gripen); with Rumble, Frenzy and Ravage as Soundwave's little minions.
Thank you for your voting. And just one more question: did you like my tiny lecture from last chapter? Do you find information about colour useful? Would you like me to explain more colours on Decepticon and Autobot examples?