When I grow up I want to be honest.
"Damn little brat, are you trying to kill me?"
The blonde man stood on the ground, kicked on the face with so effort to make him lost his balance. His back hit the ground, making him feel a bit of pain.
His cheek was hurting but his pride was hurting more.
She smiled proudly at herself.
"Oh, it was just a kick."
"A kick on my damned teeth."
Oluo spit on the ground some blood and stood up, accepting the hand she was giving him. That girl was small but she beat hard!
"Okay, change partner. Elizabeth with Eld."
"Hi little princess. Ready to..." Eld couldn't finish the sentence because he got shot to the ground before he could develop any type of attack. The first thing that entered his field of vision was Elizabeth's amused expression. "Lose."
"What the fuck?!" exclaimed Gunther, ignoring Oluo's attack to focus on the scene that the whole team was watching with a contained laugh behind their hands.
Levi smirked satisfied. At least she wasn't useless.
"I thought you took her with us just because she's damn good looking but she's also incredible."
Hange joined the captain with crossed arms, watching with him the training team.
Erwin moved on to give Elizabeth some advice, aware that the squad leader wanted to talk with Levi.
The captain managed to avoid it until then but certain thing are after you until the end. She was one of those thing.
"You saw her with those titans. She knows what she's doing."
Hange choose to be honest with him. Some words are more powerful that others.
Both her and Erwin had noticed a certain change in the captain. He was always looking for her with his gaze, he was softer with the little blonde.
"I fear her death. Everyone in the squad loves her, me before everyone. I don't want to lose her. And neither you do."
He felt a shiver along his spine. Those words hit him deep because she was right but he would never admit it. All he was looking at was Elizabeth's training. "What are you talking about shitty glasses?"
"The fact that you never looked at a girl the way you look at her. You like her." smiled Hange, trying to provoke him a little. He was pretty difficult to convince but she was sure of what she saw. And the fact that Erwin saw that too made her only more sure. The next step was to make the captain accept those feelings.
They weren't wrong.
"I respect her. She's doing a good job."
"You know that's not this easy. Don't suppress your feelings."
Levi lost his breath. Was he really sure about what he was going to say?
He was, but then why does that sentence hurt? Why does it feels so wrong?
"I don't have feelings for her."
Hange decided it was enough for that day so she just leave but not without saying a last thing to the captain.
"Keep telling yourself that, maybe one day you'll believe it."
Elizabeth shared a room with Petra from the first day. They were the only two girls and Petra was excited to have a roommate.
They talked about a lot of things, they shared advice, little secret, but Elizabeth never talked about herself too much.
Petra was around the same age as her, so she felt safe to talk with her. She was her first friend. More like a sister.
After the expedition they stayed up almost every night enjoying their company, chatting and feeling like girls and not soldiers.
It was good to have such a friend in the squad.
"Petra can I ask you something?"
"Sure. You can ask me everything." responded Petra, sitting next to her with two hot tea cups.
"You... Are you in love with the captain?"
"Oh my God." laughed Petra, didn't expecting that kind of sentence. They talked about a lot of thing but emotions were something knew. She felt she was opening a little more and that made her really happy. "I don't know if it's love, I've never felt it before. I know for sure that I really admire him, I'd like to be strong like him. And I like him, but I don't know if it's true love like the one you can read in books, you know."
"You're pretty sure about what you feel. Is that so easy to understand?" asked Elizabeth, feeling more confused than before.
She was always thinking about him, she dreamed of him and she liked his company on the roof when he joined her.
When Petra fell asleep she went there to breath, to think, to look at the stars like she did when she was with her brother.
She missed him.
She even mentioned him with the team, one evening when they were having dinner all together. They were like a family for Elizabeth.
"I think that love should be a beautiful thing but, instead, is just complicate."
"So true." laughed Elizabeth taking a sip of the tea that was cooling down.
"And you?"
Elizabeth almost chocked at her friend's question, trying to escape from that answer she just fell into it even more.
"What?"
"Do you feel something for the captain?"
"To be honest I kind of fear him. He's always so grumpy, so closed, but I understand him."
Petra smiled at her honesty. In that moment she knew what she felt, and what Elizabeth felt. She was her friend from day one but she never understood her completely, she was always a mystery to her, but that evening she felt she completely knew her. For real.
"Maybe you're the only one of us who does that."
The morning after didn't started well for Elizabeth. She was the last one of the team who joined the breakfast table, followed by Eld who had an encounter with a superior. The two entered the room finding everyone waiting for them at their table, except for Levi.
She asked herself why he wasn't there but her thoughts were set aside from three men on a table they were passing by.
She recognized two of them, still cadets, younger than her but bigger for sure.
"She's so small, how can she actually fight?"
"Look at that ass, Levi took her with him hoping for a good fuck." said the bigger of the three, the one Elizabeth hated with all of herself. He was arrogant, he thought he was invincible but she easily beat him. Twice.
"I think that too."
The last one was one she had never seen before, but she didn't liked the way he looked at her. She felt naked under his gaze.
She always knew she was beautiful for men's judgment, everyone kept saying her that but she never cared. She just wanted to survive.
"Do you think they...?"
"Yeah, obviously. A girl like that could never enter a team like that and hold their rhythms."
"The captain took her on the team just to fuck. She won't ever train with the others." said the bigger one, a redhead with a scar on his cheek, making her feel bad.
Eld looked angrily at them, feeling bad for Elizabeth. She didn't deserved those words.
"I don't know, she was a cadet with us. She's pretty good."
"In bed?" asked the bigger one staring directly at her. He was talking about her making sure she listened to them. He was doing that on purpose.
Was that what everyone thought about her? That Levi chose her just for her appearance?
She felt the angry taking control of her body. It was never a good choice but she was already done with those bullshit.
"Elizabeth, don't..." Eld tried to stop her, she was going to be in trouble but she didn't care.
"Can I help you?" asked her, leaving her food to Eld and approaching those three bastards.
"What?" asked the bigger one. The other two weren't sure anymore they wanted to talk about her, she was kind of scary when angry and one of them felt that angry on his skin.
"You're talking about me. There's no need to say things on my back, you can talk to me directly."
"You listened. So I don't have to say a word."
"Yeah. But you're wrong. Levi choose me, instead of you, because I can actually kick you ass in a second."
He tried to attack her with his fist but Elizabeth took him by surprise, pushing his head into the table and slipping him down. As soon as she stuck him on the ground with a foot against his throat, the captain's voice made her shiver. She was in trouble.
"Elizabeth. My office."
"Yes sir."
Elizabeth left the man lying on the ground and followed her captain under Eld's sorry eye.
It wasn't her fault...
"You too little brat." screamed Levi at the guy who was smirking at her. After the captain's order he didn't smirked anymore.
"What the fuck was that?!" asked an angry Levi to her, the second he closed the door behind them.
He had a lot of paperwork on his desk, he was stressed out and seeing her hitting a cadet wasn't exactly relaxing to him. She was sexy as fuck but it didn't helped him. He didn't knew what happened before but he was nervous and he didn't want to deal with anything.
"I had a fight with him sir."
"I noticed that. He's still a cadet, you are a soldier. It means you have to be a good example for those brats."
Levi studied her while talking. She had a fierce in her movements, she was proud, she was standing for something, he was sure of that; but he still had to deal with his superiors and he had to respond for his squad behavior.
"Yes sir, I accept my punishment."
"You'll be punished for sure." said Levi as he sat down on his chair, joining his arms on the desk. "Do you want to tell me what lead you to that reaction?"
She hesitated. And that look in her two-colored eyes made him even angrier but with that brat.
"They were saying things to me sir."
"What were they saying?"
Elizabeth swallowed, taking a breath. It was embarrassing.
"That I'm in your team just because I sleep with you."
Levi felt the desire to kill him. Not only for the implications of that thing, but for the fact that, deep down inside of him, he kind of wanted to. But that shit wasn't in position to say a thing like that to a woman, specially one who was better that him, just for jealousy. He suppressed that urge and opened his gray eyes, slowly.
"What people thinks about you shouldn't be your problem. Jealousy always lead people to say things like that, or worst. But that should be the difference between you and them. That's why I choose you and not them. You're stronger than that, control yourself."
"Yes sir, and I'm sorry."
Elizabeth felt her heart race like never. She was alone with her captain, talking about sexual implication of their relationship and she felt her cheeks on fire. She just hoped that it wasn't so evident.
She knew those words were not real but they touched something inside of her.
"You're dismissed."
He looked at her going away and he felt he had to say it, at least one time.
She deserved that.
He wasn't going to talk to her like a captain, and he hoped she could understand that.
"Elizabeth."
He called her for the last time, before she could reach the door. Outside was that brat waiting for his punishment but he wanted another second with her.
"You were pretty good kicking his ass."
She smiled, feeling hot inside her body.
In that moment Levi knew for sure that he didn't want anyone to touch her.
And God have mercy on anyone who would have try to harm her because he would not have any.