When I grow up I want to be in love.
Year 847- March.
Levi's team was already riding to the exit of the Walls, ready as always.
Elizabeth was near Hange, chatting to the squad leader who called her for some advice.
"I'd like to take a real titan alive." confessed Hange tightening a bit the grip on the horse's bridle. It was kind of a obsession for her in the eyes of everyone, just like cleaning for their Captain, but Elizabeth found that pretty cute. She had a big heart, even if she seemed heartless while killing the creatures she wanted so badly to study.
"You want to make experiment on them?"
"I'm amazed by them, I want to know how they work."
"Sometimes you're scary."
Elizabeth laughed, noticing how Levi looked at her with the corner of his eye.
Levi, on the other side, felt a heat in his blood the second he heard her laugh. He shook his head, focusing on what was waiting outside the Walls.
He couldn't afford to die, not yet.
"You're not curious? Not even a bit?" asked Hange, stretching a bit towards her as far as her position allowed her to avoid falling off the horse.
"Well maybe a little."
"Yeah, they're so weird..."
Elizabeth went from laughing to smile sincerely at her; smile returned by the squad leader who had a bright look, recalling the first time they met.
"Do you remember the first time I saw you?"
"I was training and you started to scream." answered Elizabeth, remembering what Hange asked her.
"I was amazed by you style. You had to be part of our team."
And that's exactly what she told her, stopping her training.
"Hi, I'm Zoe Hange. Scouting Legion. You have to be part of our team."
Elizabeth already wanted to choose that division and Hange's request made her even more convinced.
"Now that you're making me think about it... I never really thank you."
"Why should you?"
Hange slightly tilted her head to one side, intrigued by the blonde's particular statement.
"Because Levi would never have noticed me if it wasn't for you."
Elizabeth answered in all honesty. She had never denied this aspect of her admission to the team, but at the same time she felt she had never really thanked Hange for that opportunity. True, Levi could also have rejected her but the squad leader had laid the groundwork for her to be noticed, first talking to the Commander and then calling the Captain. It had been quite a long ride and a huge gesture for her.
Hange smile, reaching out to her to touch her arm.
"I'd do it again, you know."
The Captain raised his chin in all his pride.
They were about to raise the gate and Elizabeth's words, behind him and too close to avoid hearing, put him in a good mood. It was true, as annoying as he found Hange, it was her credit for noticing her, even though he didn't really intend to accept her at first. Seeing her fight was enough for him to realize that she was a precious resource and he couldn't let her get away. What he had to fight against, however, were the emotions that woman made him feel.
The Commander shouted at the start of the expedition and a rush of adrenaline filled all the members of the army.
There was nothing but screams and the horses' hooves stamping against the stone of the ground until they were on the grass.
The air was particularly warm that day, the sun's rays were starting to warm everything around them, a sign that winter was finally coming to an end.
A first group of titans ran towards them with their particular moves, close enough to some trees for the soldiers to use the 3DMG.
He pushed the horse to accelerate more, following the previously settled pattern, splitting from the rest of the team and followed by Elizabeth and Gunther.
The largest was for the Captain.
"Kill him." was Levi's order, directly to the blonde.
"Yes sir."
Elizabeth was the first to jump off the horse, harpooning the first tree to her right to allow her to climb as far as possible.
"This will hurt you. Or, at least, I think so." she exclaimed under the satisfied eyes of her Captain, who was taking care of the second titan, an anomalous 15 meters tall.
A clean cut on the back of the titan's neck and the creature fell to the ground, hitting it with its face.
Elizabeth used her head as a support to get off and then touched the ground again with her feet. Her faithful horse, as if he had been waiting for that moment, ran to meet her, allowing her to climb back onto his back.
Gunther, returning from a kill, laughed at the gesture.
"That horse is not normal."
"For a special person it's needed a special horse, right?" Elizabeth laughed, charging towards another group and thus going to the Captain's aid, even if he did not have the slightest need.
The blonde particularly admired this aspect of him: however high the number of titans was, he still managed to handle them.
With a total of seven kills for Elizabeth, they came back covered in dirt and blood but with pride intact and a surge of satisfaction at not having suffered any big loss.
The attack was numerous and the time spent out there seemed to never end for those waiting for them from the inside; on the contrary, for them who were fighting, time seemed to pass even faster.
Shower and food was the first thing everyone craved more than everything.
Levi, under the shower's water jet, couldn't stop his mind from thinking at Elizabeth.
The memory of her, fighting, was enough to let all the blood flow in his southern legions, feeling guilty for those sensations.
It was wrong, she was his subordinate, his friend too, and he shouldn't let his body react this way. However he couldn't avoid it.
He ran his wet hands over his face, removing the last traces of blood that stained his forehead, then resting it against the wall and taking a deep breath. The icy water was no longer enough to calm him, every time he saw her, his body was on fire. And the night wasn't easier for him.
If, during the day, he managed to keep himself busy with his work, at night his mind always wandered towards her, her smile, her so particular two-colors eyes, her scent. And then her body. She was born to tempt men, of that he was sure. He, who had never allowed himself anything, who had never been interested in something as trivial as physical appearance, found that woman so damn inviting. The thought of her beneath him no longer let him rest in peace at night.
That's why he usually joined her on the roof.
He liked her company.
During the day they had more detached attitudes, more suited to their roles, but during the night they were free to simply be two friends. Or maybe something more.
Doubt was beginning to creep into the young Captain's mind for some time now, and it frightened him. If he had allowed himself to truly love her and then had to lose her too, how could he react?
He started to fear her death. But then, with her, he could forget about it.
Only the two of them existed.
"Finally some relax."
Petra threw herself onto the bed, letting the mattress cradle her sore muscles.
Elizabeth stretched her back muscles, sitting up as Petra emulated her position too.
"Yeah. It was particularly hard this time."
"They kept coming. The more we killed them, the more they came back."
"I'm glad we're all fine."
And Elizabeth really was. She seemed careless about the other but the ones who knew her were aware of the fact that she wanted everyone to survive.
Petra looked at her for some seconds, smiling. It was the moment for a girly-chat. They deserved that.
"How's going with the Captain?"
"What?" asked Elizabeth, already thinking about a way to avoid that argument.
"You know what I'm talking about."
The blonde hesitated. During the time spent together they talked a lot and she knew Petra really liked the Captain. She stopped herself a few times from telling Levi the truth for that reason. The fact was, she still hadn't told her yet and she didn't know how could she possibly react.
"Petra I..."
Petra stood up to join her on her bed, sitting next to her and taking a hand between theirs.
"Listen, it's something I had to tell you from some time now. I see how you look at him, and how he looks at you. Yes, I like him, but I'm not so selfish to push away two people who clearly love each other."
Love. The only world Elizabeth was afraid of. She was afraid he might not feel the same, she would ruin the beautiful friendship that was being created between them, or he could think she was just using him.
But above all, she believed Petra would be heartbroken.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You're telling me that you did nothing because of me? Are you giving up on a relationship with him because of me?"
Petra straightened up looking Elizabeth in the eye, who immediately lowered her gaze, embarrassed.
"If you say it in that tone it sounds stupid."
"I doesn't sound stupid, it is."
Elizabeth found the courage to look at her in the eyes, she was being honest with her.
"Are you sure you're not gonna get hurt?"
But that sentence made the two-colored eyes woman, realize something. "Wait, what am I saying? Who says he wants me?"
"I do. And the rest of us, if you ask them. We all noticed a change in him the moment you officially joined us. Even if he tries to hide it."
Petra stopped Elizabeth from talking just hugging her and the blonde returned her hug, feeling a bit lighter than before.
"You're amazing, you know?"
When the embrace was released Elizabeth could clearly see Petra smiling again, with so much fern in her eyes that she almost made her cry, before extending her hand as if to seal a silent promise.
"Yeah I know. And you are a sister to me. Sister always helps each other."
And Elizabeth made this promise to her.
"Sister."
"You're smiling." noticed Elizabeth that night, with the full moon lighting up their faces.
She always found him attractive but that was beyond gorgeous.
Levi chose to be honest with her. He couldn't lie to her.
"Yeah. I don't know how you do but you make it normal."
The blonde was in a particularly good mood that evening, perhaps due not only to the success of the expedition but also to the chat she previously had with Petra so she decided to be a little flirty.
It was a peculiar thing about their relationship: she was always a bit flirty with him and he saw she was only with him. He liked that, he felt it was something only his.
"Maybe it's because you like my company."
"Maybe is true." Levi admitted, turning to his left were she was seated so near to him their shoulders touched. She looked up, smiling and feeling her heart race while getting lost in the deep color of his eyes.
"Only maybe?"
Levi felt pulled towards her. In that position he could feel her breath brush his lips and the desire to have them pervaded him completely. They moved closer to each other until their noses touched. She was looking at him so sweetly that it blacked out his brain. The only thing that awakened him from that beautiful trance was the thought of her death by the titans' fault. Those beasts had already taken two people away from him, they couldn't take another one.
He jerked away, breaking the idyll even for her, and walking away without saying anything, leaving her there too shocked to realize what was happening.
Only moments later she decided she wouldn't let him go: if he was too scared to take that step then she would do it and fuck the consequences. She wanted to be happy for once.
When she reached him he had already been stopped by Erwin and the two were entering his office, but for some strange reason the Commander, perhaps sure that at that time no one was turning to listen to them, left the door slightly open thus allowing the blonde to listen them.
"You know we're gonna talk about Elizabeth?"
Listening her name made her more curious. She knew it was wrong and she would be punished if they found that out but she couldn't help it.
"What about her?"
Levi's voice trembled a bit, it was almost inaudible but she clearly felt it under her own skin. Was it possible he was afraid of the implications of Erwin's question?
"You think she would fit in a classified missions for the Scouting Legion?"
"What type of classified?"
"I'm looking for someone smart and really able in combat."
"She is. She's the best I have in my team but..."
Hearing him compliment her made her smile.
"But?"
"Nothing."
Elizabeth couldn't see them but she felt Levi hesitate and, she was sure, Erwin studying him.
"Levi, are you concerned about her?"
"I'm concerned about all my team."
"No you don't, you believe in them or you wouldn't have choose them. But she's different, you are afraid of her death, am I right?"
Levi had no choice but being honest. That night was all against him.
The sexual tension he felt towards her started to evolve in something more and now it was impossible to escape. But what definitely won over him was his question in that moment.
Did he saw what was going to happen between them?
"She's different. She's..."
Elizabeth, still outside Erwin's office, listened the Commander smile at the Captain, and a rush made, maybe, by some papers being moved.
"If you think that I would stop this you're wrong. You can have a relationship with whoever you want as long as both of you are still focused on your work."
"I'm not going to have a relationship. I can't."
Elizabeth felt the urge to cry, his words began to echo in her mind but she couldn't control her own body from running away. It was like something was holding her there.
"They would say to you this is not a bad thing."
For some moments there was just silence. Elizabeth felt her breath sounding so loud in her hears, like even the two men could have heard it.
"Anyone who got too close to me ends dead."
That made the blonde understand everything. Petra was right. They were all right but she was too foolish to listen to them.
"She's different. You're always gonna to protect her."
"That's what you wanted to talk with me?"
"No but I have another question." said Erwin, making Elizabeth's, and Levi's, hearth race even more. "You like her."
Erwin did not said that as a question, making Levi understand he already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it from him.
And now Elizabeth wanted it too.
"Yeah, I do."