A/N: Apologies for neglecting this piece! I know I said it would be updated frequently, but that's just a big fat lie. I'm sorry. I write slower than a third-grader. Hopefully this will still be entertaining.
Also: TRIGGER WARNING for some slightly dub-con mind sex.
As always, my profound thanks to Dr. Jekyl for beta-ing duties.
Part II: Middlegame
"Every move creates a weakness."
- Siegbert Tarrasch
Aria didn't like surprises. In her profession, most surprises tended to be of a decidedly unhealthy nature, and so she took pride in her vigilance and awareness, and never stepped into a situation where she hadn't already figured out all the angles. And so it pained her to admit that Shepard had, in fact, surprised her.
The human proved to be remarkably adept in the bedroom and certainly was familiar with the finer points of asari physiology, perhaps even more so than some members of Aria's own species. Aria had heard rumors on Omega about the commander's supposed prowess, but immediately dismissed them as the exaggerations of one (or two) easily-excited maidens. She soon discovered the accuracy of those tales, however, and was given the rare opportunity in which she could thoroughly and completely enjoy being wrong.
Shepard also had an instinctive understanding of the situation, even though they never discussed the particulars. Shepard handled their arrangement like she did everything else: straightforward and with little pretense. And if such an approach was rare in business negotiations, it was damn near nonexistent when it came to sex, especially with humans. The Normandy made frequent stops at the Citadel, and whenever Aria received notification that the frigate had docked she knew to expect Shepard within a matter of hours. They would talk briefly, just long enough to finish a drink or two, and then leave for Aria's apartment. They would fuck but never actually meld, neither of them interested in nor needing that intimate of a connection. Shepard never spent the night, and Aria never offered.
Really, Aria couldn't be more pleased with how things were proceeding. She was never one to turn down a good lay, and Shepard, in all honesty, was the best she'd had in decades. And even though the human never hinted to it, there were enough evidence to suggest the feeling was mutual. Aria took smug satisfaction in the fact that, no matter how tired or drained Shepard appeared when she arrived, the human always left lighter, with a spring in her step and a renewed sharpness in those burning red eyes. Aria considered it her own private contribution to the war effort.
The war. No matter how much she was enjoying herself, the realities of galactic war loomed over everything they did. More and more worlds fell as the Reapers pressed forward, and the Citadel was dangerously overrun with refugees. The crowds at Purgatory became denser, the alcohol consumed faster, the dancing became more desperate...and Shepard's visits became less and less frequent.
And, in spite of herself, Aria began to worry.
Aria told herself it didn't matter. At first, she had been pissed when Shepard ambled into the VIP booth as if nothing had changed, even though they both knew it had been nearly a damn month since they'd last slept together. Her base instincts had taken over surprisingly quickly, however, and she dragged Shepard back to her apartment after launching a relatively mild string of expletives at her face. They had fallen into the same rhythm that came so damn easily when they were together, and Aria's initial irritation had gradually faded.
But now there was something else bothering her. Aria was on top, ferociously grinding down onto Shepard and, even though she was nearing release, she couldn't stop staring at the human's face. Despite the blazing implants, Shepard's eyes were dull and listless, with a faraway look in them. She wasn't even looking at Aria at all, instead gazing vacantly over the asari's shoulder. It shouldn't fucking matter, because the human's body was completely engaged in the activity and pushing Aria towards her peak, but dammit, that wasn't good enough.
Who the fuck did she think she was, showing up unannounced after weeks and expecting to get laid? Aria never made concessions like that, was never one to be so accommodating, even if Shepard was the supposed "Savior of the Galaxy." The absolute least the human could do was fucking pay attention.
Aria leaned forward and yanked roughly at Shepard's deep red hair, pulling her head over so their eyes met. She captured Shepard's lower lip with her teeth and bit down viciously, tasting blood.
"Where the hell are you?" she hissed through clenched teeth. Shepard pulled away, snapping back into reality. Her gaze sharpened and she fixed Aria with a fierce glare.
"Right here," she grunted, then shifted her weight and threw Aria onto her back. The new position altered the human's rhythm and she slowed her previously frenetic pace.
Aria grimaced at the sudden change, as she was forcibly pulled back from her release. It was obvious what Shepard was doing; this was all about control, and denying Aria what she was so clearly about to get was the human's way of reasserting herself. Aria's frustration and anger came back in full force. Shepard was in dangerous territory now, but the human didn't seem to realize it, and if she did, she didn't care. She gave Aria that cocky smirk again, then bent forward and bit the asari's lip in return. Shepard slowed her hips down to an even more maddening pace, and Aria felt her biotics simmer just below her skin and her eyes began to blacken.
"You want it, don't you?" Shepard said, grinning around Aria's lips. "Fucking do it, then."
Aria didn't bother with a reply; instead, she wrapped her legs tightly around Shepard's waist and yanked her closer. She dug her nails into the human's neck, forced their mouths together, and growled a hasty warning before slamming her mind into Shepard's.
The human had erected the usual mental barriers; it wasn't unexpected, considering that Shepard had fucked her fair share of asari before. They were weak and undisciplined, however, and had obviously been developed from years of melding with young, inexperienced maidens. But Aria was no maiden.
The walls crumbled at the sheer force of meld, and Aria tumbled deeper into Shepard's mind than she had originally intended. A flurry of images and emotions rocketed by at a dizzying speed, and the asari could barely make sense of what she was experiencing. Aria caught a flash of an adolescent Shepard, watching in horror as her family was murdered before her by a group of batarian slavers. She felt Shepard's palpable glee in vengeance, as years later she cut down slaver after slaver on Torfan. She saw a large galaxy display hover over her, and Shepard bathed in a crimson light that matched her eyes, watching impassively as more systems turned red, the collective weight of her entire crew upon her as they looked at her expectantly. A lone tendril of smoke rising from a pistol, and Mordin Solus slumped against the controls of a lift about to be engulfed in flames.
Aria was about to pull back when suddenly everything vanished. Their nervous systems became fully entwined, and two beings became one. They shared each other's sensations, and Shepard began moving faster, returning to the earlier pace that Aria desired, only now she was driving them both towards climax. Aria felt the human's mouth on her neck, teeth sinking into pliable flesh, and she raked her nails down Shepard's back, feeling the sharp echo of her touch on her own shoulder blades.
They came crashing down together, and Aria heard the sound of someone crying out, but it was impossible to tell if the noise came from her or Shepard. It took her some time to come back to her senses, and after a moment she realized they were still wrapped tightly around each other, hearts pounding. Aria closed the meld and slowly loosened her grip on Shepard, unclenching her thighs and hands. Shepard kept her face buried in Aria's neck as she gasped for air, and, before Aria realized what she was doing, her fingers slowly began threading through the human's hair.
"Shepard, I -"
"Don't." Shepard raised her head, and her eyes were like fire. She slid off Aria and moved to the other side of the bed, seeming to put as much distance between them as possible. She clutched at her forehead, then turned away. "I guess there's still one rule on the Citadel, huh?" Shepard's voice was flat and emotionless. She got off the bed, and went into the bathroom without another word.
Aria didn't think it was possible to hate Purgatory any more than she already did, but for the past several weeks everything about the club, the wards, the whole damned Citadel just seemed like shit. She sat on the divan in her lounge, sipping at an insultingly weak brandy, a distinctly sour look on her face as perused the club. Grizz and Jerra stood off to the side, giving her more space than they usually did, knowing full well it was in their best interests to just stay away when she was in such a foul mood.
Aria scowled. She thought of Omega, of how she had been so unceremoniously relieved of what was rightfully hers, and all of the different types of violence she would employ to get it back. Her plans were set in motion, and she knew it would only be a matter of time. She had no idea what the Illusive Man was planning, but it was clear that Cerberus was stretched thin; the recent coup attempt was more than evidence of that fact. Soon, he would turn away from Omega just enough to allow her the opening she needed.
She supposed the coup - or, as she referred to it, Udina's Colossal Fuckup - did have something to do with her current disposition. The discord had not made its way down to the wards, but the effect of Cerberus's presence reverberated throughout the entire station. The nice, cozy bubble that the residents of the Presidum so comfortably lived in had been popped in dramatic fashion, and it was finally hitting home to these people that there was actually a fucking war on. They were trying to leave the station in droves, only to realize that nowhere was safe, not with the Reapers continuing their march across the galaxy. And so they languished in the wards, coming to Purgatory in the most literal sense of the term, the thrum of their panic matching the rhythm of the assaultive dance beats as they waited desperately for something to save them.
Or someone.
Aria drained her drink and quickly picked up another. She hated that, no matter how hard she tried, Shepard was never far from her thoughts. Of course, it was impossible to be completely free of the human, as her exploits were now being broadcast throughout the damned universe, especially after she and her crew had swooped in so theatrically during the coup. But what bothered her the most, and what she hated to admit, was the disappointment that Shepard had been on the Citadel and not come to see her.
Even though, Aria had understood why.
She hadn't meant to dive that deeply during the meld, and she was sure she had witnessed things that no one was supposed to see. And while she wasn't exactly sorry, she still...regretted how their last encounter had ended. She told herself that it was because she had lost the company of an extremely skilled partner, but a nagging feeling kept telling her there was more to it than that.
She shook her head, as if trying to physically banish the thought. Shepard had been a welcome distraction, and that was all.
Aria slammed back the last of her drink, grimacing at its unabashed awfulness, and stood to leave. She strode purposefully by her two bodyguards, deliberately ignoring them as she made her way to her private elevator. She was sick of the club, the people, the drinks, and wanted nothing more than to retire for the evening before she was forced to witness the same shit all over again the next day.
She stopped short when she saw the lone figure leaning against the wall near the lift. The form was immediately recognizable, and even if Aria hadn't been intimately familiar with their body, the bright red orbs glowing eerily in the shadows could only belong to one person. She crossed her arms and shot a dark glare at the human, waiting patiently as she silently readied an arsenal of finely-tuned curses and sharp retorts that itched to be released. But as Shepard stepped into the light, the scathing greetings died on Aria's lips.
For the first time, Aria saw that the marks that scoured Shepard's face weren't scars at all. Scarring implied that the act of healing had occurred, that a wound had once existed and was now gone. What Aria looked at now was the exact opposite of such an event.
The skin on Shepard's face was splitting apart. There were no jagged edges, though, no rough cutting that could be explained by a blade that sliced too close. No blood. Instead, the wounds had a eerily surgical quality to them, as if a surgeon had neatly made an incision and then pried it open. Beneath the gaping wounds, Aria could see the throbbing, glowing mass of cybernetics that ran throughout Shepard's musculature. The human's eyes, always a fierce red, now burned so intensely it was unnerving, but what was even more unsettling was how deeply they had sunken into their sockets. Dark rings sat below her eyes, and were complimented by hollowed cheekbones. The familiar, irritating smirk was nowhere to be found.
It was only through centuries of training and habit that Aria kept her face from betraying any emotion. Aria looked the human up and down, trying her best to swallow her concern, as Shepard silently stood before her. She saw Shepard tense slightly, and wondered if the human was half-expecting to be struck, or just turned away altogether. Their eyes met.
Aria uncrossed her arms and began walking towards the lift. She glanced over her shoulder and arched a brow. Shepard followed.
Aria flopped onto her back, gasping for air, her vision still swimming. She closed her eyes, struggling to regain her composure, and slowly closed the meld, extracting herself from the sensations and images that were overwhelming her just a moment ago. Shepard collapsed awkwardly next to her, throwing a trembling arm haphazardly across the asari's chest as her forehead fell onto Aria's shoulder.
"I swear, Shepard, you could give a seminar on that," Aria said, still trying to catch her breath.
"Really?" Shepard chuckled, and Aria felt the human's lips brush across her collarbone. She shuddered involuntarily. "I'm Aria T'Loak approved?"
"Don't get cocky." For an instant, Aria's fingertips brushed through Shepard's hair before she flattened her palm against the crown of the human's head and pushed her away. "All I'm saying is if this whole 'super soldier' thing doesn't work out, you have other marketable skills to fall back on."
Shepard moved onto her back without protest. "I'll start working on my resume," she said. The human sank back into the pillow beneath her and brought a hand up to rub heavily at her face. Shepard quickly stifled a yawn.
Aria rolled to her side, propping her head up on her palm, and eyed Shepard critically. The deep marks on her face looked less vicious now, and didn't glow so harshly, even in the dim lighting of Aria's bedroom. Her features were still heavy and drawn, though, and it was obvious that their activity had only given Shepard the briefest of respites. "When was the last time you slept?" she asked, her voice taking on a gentler tone that she barely recognized.
"I'll sleep when I'm dead." Shepard's eyes flashed at first, but then she gave Aria a wry grin. "Literally." She pulled herself over to the other side of the bed, and hauled herself up to a sitting position facing away from Aria. The asari watched the muscles in Shepard's back ripple and flex as she rubbed at her face again, then slowly bent over to retrieve an article of clothing. Aria noted that the markings extended down Shepard's back as well, the crisscrossing slices making it look like the human had been flayed with a whip. But underneath that, Aria could also see true scarring: small, white strips of skin that were the remnants of injuries inflicted years ago.
Aria frowned slightly as she looked at the human. The exhaustion was evident in every movement she made, and Aria thought back to their earlier meld. Her mind had reached out slowly, an invitation to share pleasure as a peace offering for the last time they had been together. Shepard, unexpectedly, had drawn her in eagerly, allowing them to become enmeshed within each other. Aria hadn't pushed as hard, and Shepard had effectively sealed off her memories this time, but despite that Aria was immersed in a flood of the human's emotions. She practically tasted Shepard's frustration and anger, her weariness, her desperation, and the near-crippling strain of the knowledge that the fate of the universe depended on her and her alone.
Aria had no idea how Shepard had managed to make it this far, and as she considered it, she felt her own flash of anger at how utterly selfish it was to lay the entire outcome of the war at the feet of one person. Who were these people - the Alliance, the Council, Shepard's own crew - to demand that a single human save them from annihilation? What fucking sense did that make? They can't manage to save themselves, and so now they put all of their faith and hope and belief into one thing, and expect everything to be just fine.
"I don't understand how you do it," Aria said.
"Do what?" Shepard turned her head slightly, but didn't look at Aria. She began pulling on her undergarments, and Aria winced slightly as the straps of Shepard's compression shirt raked across the open wounds.
"Fight like this. Sacrifice so much of yourself for people who don't give a damn about you."
Shepard's broad shoulders sagged forward and she sighed. "Apparently someone has to," she said, pure bitterness edging into her tone.
"Bullshit," Aria snapped.
Shepard finally turned on her, twisting around and slapping her hand down on the mattress. "What the fuck do you know about it, Aria?"
Aria sat up suddenly, and the thin sheet covering her breasts fell and pooled around her waist. She jabbed a finger at Shepard, ignoring how the human's gaze had momentarily drifted southward. "I know how the universe works. How it's terrible and unforgiving, and how people use and take until there is nothing left." Shepard's red eyes snapped back to her face. "And I know how your precious fucking Alliance and Council loves nothing more to hold you up like some damn hero, only to tear you down when you become an inconvenience. Don't you ever think about how different this war would be if they would have fucking listened to you the first time? Or the second?"
Shepard jerked her head slightly, clearly surprised at the comment, as if she hadn't expected Aria to have been bothered enough to pay attention to the human's career. Part of that was true, certainly; activities in council space were usually of little interest to her, but the whole mess with Saren - and the Council's subsequent disavowing of Shepard's report - had been impossible to miss. And, of course, the destruction of the Alpha Relay and Shepard's incarceration was also inescapable. Aria had heard through several of her political contacts, including asari councilor's office, that there had even been serious internal debate over whether to surrender Shepard to the batarians.
The human looked away, her hand tightening around the sheets and bunching them into her fist. "Why do you care?"
Aria let her hand fall, and it landed on her bed near Shepard's. She sighed and paused a moment before replying. Why did she care? "Because I know what it it's like to have everyone look to you for a decision," she said matter-of-factly. "To not be able to let a shred of doubt slip through. Or show even a second of weakness, even to those who are supposed to be closest to you."
Shepard let out a short bark of laughter, then again turned her back to the asari. She rubbed at her face, then scraped her fingers through her hair, further mussing the thick red curls. Aria saw the human's jaw flex, and it looked as if she was stifling another yawn.
Aria shifted, then spoke again, almost disbelieving the words she was saying even as they came out of her mouth.
"You don't have to leave."
Shepard's head turned slightly. "I thought you didn't do sleepovers."
Aria rolled her eyes in exasperation. Goddess-dammit, she was trying to be nice, for once. "Fucking hell, Shepard, I'm not proposing to you. You look like you need the sleep, so stay. Or go back to the Normandy. Either way, you're not going to be worth a damn until you get some rest."
With that, Aria flopped back down on the bed and turned onto her side, perhaps a bit more theatrically than she needed to. She waited several long seconds, hearing only the sound of her own breathing. Suddenly, the bed shifted and Shepard slid in next to her. Aria could feel the heat from the human's body and immediately tensed, but Shepard didn't move any closer. She rolled over slightly to glance over her shoulder. The human had her back to Aria and was already fast asleep.