love at first sight
theeflowerchild
six
Despite himself, he boards the train.
He knows getting on the subway this early is stupid. Since lashing out at her that fateful night he's avoided the subway at all costs, and he sure as hell knows what time she gets on for school. He's deliberately gone out of his way to avoid this train, at this specific time.
He's walked to work on significantly colder days, too, despite the harsh beginnings of December. Somehow, his legs just managed to bring him down the stairs, straight through the turnstile, down the long hallway, and down the last set of stairs to, before he knows it, the express train to Konoha Medical Center. The exact train he had been so trying to avoid.
He already paid the fare; he couldn't just not get on the train. It would be a waste of the two-fifty, really, and walking back up the stairs would just be more work. So, logically, he gets on the train, even if he knows it's a bad idea.
He sits in his favorite seat in the corner of the car, pushing his messenger bag up against his side. The train is empty, like it usually is this early, save for the few kids that follow him aboard for school. It's quiet, and he'd normally throw his headphones in for the trip, but his stomach is doing too many flips to focus on music.
She'll get on two stops from now, he reminds himself. He knows this, and he knows this is the car she prefers. So what on earth provokes him to get on this train?
He hasn't seen her in too too long, if you don't count flurries of pink in his peripheral, and thoughts that plague him like an illness. He hears her name, and hears her praise, but has not seen her. He has made sure of this, so why does he get on this train?
He feels his breath catch in his throat at the next stop; she'll board at the following. Even if he hasn't made any progress, he hasn't made any regressions, either, and who knows what seeing her will feel like? It takes his entire being to push his feelings aside when he's on good terms with her, but what about when he's so desperate to get her back in his life? He misses her, and he knows seeing her is a bad idea, so why does he get on this train?
He can hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears, quick like a hummingbird. He knows he's tapping his foot, and Sasuke Uchiha does not get antsy, but he can't help it. He's nervous, and he knew this would provoke his nerves, so why does he get on this train?
He hears the announcement in his ears, "This stop is 33rd Street, the next stop is 42nd street." The doors swing open, and, at first, no one enters.
His heart stops. Maybe she won't get on, maybe she's in another car, maybe he hasn't made a mistake, maybe he'll just go to work, he won't have to see her, and he can move on with his life, desperately pining for her, but knowing he'll never have her—
She steps on in a rush. She just makes it, and if she had been any later, she would've been waiting for the next train. She lets out a long sigh when she's finally on, and fixes her hair behind her ears. She's flushed, and she's wearing her pea coat that's too big on her, and her green eyes are dull with exhaustion.
He feels like he can't breathe.
Sakura, sweet Sakura—finally, her eyes wander to him, like he expects. The train is empty, and he's hard to miss, all long limbs, and sharp features. He knows this, knows he will get noticed, and, yet, he chooses to board the train. He's about to look away when she does the last thing he expects her to.
She nods at him.
With a tiny, kind smile, she nods at him, and takes the seat next to the door. It's a common courtesy, really, a friendly nod among acquaintances left for grocery stores, and busy streets when you're not particularly interested in how they're doing, but you don't want to be rude. Even after he's been so rude to her, even after he's said such nasty things, and thrown her around when he should have acted like an adult, like a mentor—leave it to friendly, kind, sweet, saccharine Sakura to nod at him.
He nods back dumbly, suddenly feeling dizzy, and knows that getting on this train was a bad fucking idea.
She doesn't seem bothered, though, of course. She puts her headphones into her ears, and looks forward, and Sasuke reminds himself that she was never invested in him. She simply sees him as a callous, cranky older man who she's forced to work with until she goes off too college. He's irrelevant to her, why wouldn't she be kind to him?
He can't get his thoughts to cease racing, fighting for dominance in his psyche.
Perhaps, he begins to think, he's even put too much thought into her avoidance; Tsunade may have just moved her around the hospital, why would she go out of her way to avoid someone as extraneous as him? Sure, he had been mean, but he hadn't been important, either; she doesn't know him, so why on earth would she go out of her way to avoid someone who she probably thought was just some jerk?
Before he can begin hyperventilating, though, his thoughts are interrupted by her name.
"Sakura," he hears a male voice say as someone enters the car.
He looks up to find a boy, tall and lanky, with long, chocolate hair, and pretty, bright eyes. He's dressed casually, in jeans and a t-shirt, and looks to be around her age, perhaps a little older. He sits down next to her, and places his backpack at his feet; a schoolmate, probably. She takes out her headphones, and Sasuke sees a smile surface on her face that makes his heart double over in pain.
"Neji-kun," she whispers, and nods. She places her headphones deep in her jacket pocket, and gives the young man her full attention. "Good morning." She pushes her hair behind her ears, bats her eyelashes, and she looks tempting, and beautiful, and she has a dreamy look in her eye that Sasuke is only able to manage in his dreams.
"How are you this morning?" the boy asks, smirking. He looks at her softly, fondly, and a thought Sasuke had weeks ago suddenly surfaces in his head that he's chose to avoid since.
Perhaps, Sakura has a little boyfriend, someone she loves, or at least cares about.
At the next stop, Sasuke rushes off the train. He's out the door, and catching his breath on the platform before his mind can even catch up with his body. He's not sure if it's his overactive imagination or not, be he's almost sure he felt her eyes on him before he was out the door.
Then again, she knows that this isn't his stop, and it's certainly odd of him to rush out at some random place right before he has work, but for all she knows, or cares, he may just have somewhere else to be.
Why the fuck did he get on that godforsaken train?
Sasuke goes home to an empty house that night and considers the following:
"Is there something wrong with me?"
He looks in the mirror, and is greeted with the same narrow, brown eyes, and messy black hair. His jaw is still sharp, and his cheekbones are still high, and his nose is as thin as ever. He still looks exhausted, with deep, purple bags under his eyes, and crow's feet. His eyebrows are still thin, and his lips are just as delicate. He still has broad shoulders, and a lanky frame. There's still something a little off about his appearance, but he's still just as handsome as ever. He's still the same Sasuke he's always been, just a little older, and maybe a little paler.
He's always been a little weird, a little different, but nothing out of the ordinary. He's never been particularly interested in building too many friendships, but it's not ridiculous that he wouldn't want frivolous ties that he can't keep track of. He's always been quiet, felt there was no reason to speak unless you were worth his words, or unless an answer was necessary, but there's nothing wrong with being quiet. Sasuke is an introvert, but that's who he's always been.
He's sarcastic, and testy, and can have a bad temper, but that's in his charm (at least, that's what his mother had always said). Around his friends, he's a calm, peaceful presence that you barely notice is even there, until he blesses you with a seemingly nasty comment, or an anecdote here or there. Sasuke has always been this way, and Sasuke will probably always be this way: a little mean, placid, unintentionally funny, and reserved, and the people in his life probably wouldn't have him any other way.
He clucks his tongue and pours himself a drink. Yeah, sure, he's the same old Sasuke, save for the fact that he's in love with a teenage girl, and he can't live a second of his life without her swarming his existence like fleas.
He doesn't know why, but he does it again. He gets on that damn train at six AM sharp, and sits in his favorite spot. He closes his legs, and hugs his messenger bag, and even brings a book this time. He's prepared. He won't be forced to look at her.
Her stop comes, and she steps on, all rose-colored hair, and peach skin. She's swimming in a floral dress, and her jacket is heavier this time. He peaks from under long bangs to see her big, green eyes look at him for a second, only to look away when she notices that he won't be paying attention to her any time soon. She sits in the same seat she did yesterday, and he notes that's probably the one she prefers, and would have sat in when they took the train together, too, if he hadn't forced her to the corner.
She's delicate looking, like a springtime flower, like her namesake. All her clothes are too big, and he wonders if they make clothes for someone with such a tiny, tiny frame, or if she just likes her clothes big. He wonders what she'd look like with long hair, but then entertains the idea that she's perfect just the way she is.
The boy enters the train at the next stop, just like he did the last time. He can't remember his name, but who can forget eyes the color of lilacs and hair that long? He sits next to her, and says her name like it's his, and Sasuke fells a fire build in the pit of his stomach that he's not sure he can put out.
Jealousy, he muses.
"You look lovely today," he says, and drinks her like a tall glass of water. "Though you are truly meant for the spring time."
"I guess my mother thought so, too," she agrees with a laugh, like tiny bells.
"Sakura is a very fitting name," he says, finishing the thought for her. "If your hair isn't enough."
"Neji," she warns. "I can't help that genetics, or some malevolent God, decided to give me this washed out version of ginger."
He smirks. "I think it's nice."
Nice is an understatement, Sasuke thinks.
"Yeah, me too, I guess," she says with another laugh.
"This stop is Konoha University, the next stop is Academy Street," the speaker howls, and there's a loud beep to signal the stopping of the train.
The boy—Neji, he corrects—stands up, and throws his backpack over his shoulder with a loud sigh. "Sorry to cut this short, once again."
She shrugs. "It's no big deal, once again." She stands, and wraps her arms around him in a quick, seemingly platonic hug. The boy makes no move to kiss her, and her hands don't wander, so Sasuke decides that this boy is not, in fact, her boyfriend. He ignores the idea that Sakura could be a chaste girl, or shy to the public eye, and believes that if this boy were her boyfriend, she'd make it known—or, at least, Neji would, because no man would be stupid enough to let anybody look at a girl like Sakura. He's not sure if it's wishful thinking, or ignorance, but the fire begins to calm. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," he agrees, letting go. He begins to step out of the train, but not before turning to her and saying, "Be safe, okay?"
"Always," she insists with a roll of her eyes, and then shoos him off with a wave of her hand.
Sasuke frowns; this boy is a university student. He's older.
But he's not twenty-eight.
He sees Sakura relax, and lean back into the plastic seats of the train. He knows that her stop is next, so he delves back into his book. He's got all the information he needs, he supposes, even if it's rude to eavesdrop—still, he's careful to peer at her every few seconds.
So he has no idea how he misses her standing up, and walking towards him.
"Uchiha-senpai," she says, grabbing his attention. He looks up, shocked, but if there's anything that Sasuke is good at—well, Sasuke is good at a lot of things, but that's beside the point—it's putting on a façade of apathy. "Good morning."
He looks up at her with a raised eyebrow. She's talking to him, now? "Good morning, Sakura."
"What are you reading?" she asks.
He flicks his eyes towards the book, and then back at her. "Catcher in the Rye."
"That's one of my favorites," she says, and takes a secure hold of the pole in front of him when the train shakes a little. "Are you off to work?"
"Yes," he says, carefully. He hopes his short answers are enough to get her to leave again, but she doesn't take the hint—not that he really wants her to leave, anyway, but it is, of course, for the best.
She stares at him for a moment, green eyes sparkling in the darkness of the underground, and sighs loudly. "Listen, Uchiha-senpai, I—I wanted to apologize," she says, suddenly, and he's visibly startled this time. "For a while now, for upsetting you. I'm sorry if I was unprofessional, or anything, but you're very, very smart, and such a great doctor, and I just wanted to—"
He cuts off her rambling quickly. "Oh, Sakura, it—it's not like that," he whispers, despite himself.
She looks taken aback for a moment, but her wide eyes settle to their norm in a few seconds. "Then… what did I do wrong?"
What did she do wrong? Was she too sweet, too kind? Too smart, and understanding? Too dependable, and charming? Too pretty, too endearing, too lovable? He decides to ignore the question. "It's fine, Sakura. I accept your apology."
Her eyebrows furrow for a moment in confusion, but, nonetheless, a moment later she's smiling serenely at him and his heart is beating fast. "I'm glad, Uchiha-sama. I think you're a great doctor."
He raises an eyebrow, and then smirks. "Thank you, Sakura. You'll make a fine doctor yourself one day."
They're interrupted by the train announcing, "This stop is Academy Street, the next stop is 72nd street."
She smiles, and takes a step back. "This is my stop," she says.
"Aa." He nods, and she steps off the train without another word.
He doesn't realize he's shaking until after she leaves.
edited: 8/17/15
This story is sorta fucked up, but I love it. I have a feeling it's going to be long, but w/e.
Please, please review! I love your reviews, and they keep the story going! Give me constructive criticism, give me, "good," or, "bad," or, "meh," or, "hey nikki, you're so fine, YOU'RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND HEY NIKKI!"
I POSTED MY TUMBLR ON MY BIO PAGE, PLEASE GIVE ME A FOLLOW AND I'LL FOLLOW BACK. YOU CAN LEAVE QUESTIONS IN MY ASK IF YOU'D LIKE. I'D LOVE TO MAKE SOME FRIENDS FROM HERE, ESPECIALLY SASUSAKU ONES! YOU CAN ALSO LEAVE REQUESTS IN MY ASK AND STUFF FOR MY ONESHOT COLLECTION AND WHATNOT.
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Peace.