The next day wasn't much different, the hours passed by as my eyes busied themselves gazing upon the beautiful setting outside. Eventually, the last lesson of the day finished and I was making my way through the cramped corridor, trying to find (Friend 5).
No luck.
Disappointed and alone, I wander outside the main building as my sight lingers over to where the swimming pool was.
"You should at least go once and see if it's worth a try", I recall (Friend 5)'s advice as I slowly start walking towards the pool, sighing inwardly.
"This better be worth it", I mumble to myself as I reach it and restlessly stand beside, awaiting for a member of the club to show up.
After what felt like such a lengthy amount of time, I spot a group of people walking towards me who I guess to be the members. Straightening my posture, I look more closely at them, there seemed to be 4 boys and a girl. Finally noticing me standing there, the girl runs up towards me while the others try to catch up, surprised by her sudden change in motion.
"You must be the person who's taking part in the enrichment activity! I'm so happy you chose the swimming club", She cheers, approaching me. Using my common sense, I figure out she's unaware of the fact I didn't get a choice in the matter and decide to keep it to myself.
"My name is Kou", She introduces herself.
"The apply sheet said Gou", I intrigue.
"It's pronounced as Kou though", She clarifies.
"Isn't it still a boys na-", I start to question, only to be abruptly interrupted by her.
"No, IT'S KOU. KOU!", She repeats over and over again, annoyance clear in her voice.
I stare at her blankly, wanting her to close her ranting mouth, since the sound of her talking was interrupting my actually-sane thoughts.
"I'm (Y/n), btw", I manage to introduce myself just as she stops and the others catch up, hurling all their questions at me and Gou.
"Who's she?", The blonde-haired one exclaims, ignoring my recent remark, his mouth plastered with a huge smile as he comes dangerously close to my face.
Quickly getting pulled away by Gou and receiving an irritated look from me, he silently stands beside her, only half aware of the discomfort he's caused.
"Is she joining the club?", A boy a year under me pushes up his red glasses as he speaks with the same amount of enthusiasm, just less invasive.
"OMG, really! That's great! My name is Nagisa!", The blonde one yells once again, already forgetting what had happened a minute earlier, the wholesome smile on his face growing even larger.
"Guys, at least give her a chance to talk", The brown-haired guy spoke up this time, giving me warm nod.
Looking over at the last person remaining, the jet-black haired guy, I waited for him to speak, him being the only one who hasn't spoken yet but surprisingly, he does nothing.
Just stands there...intensely staring into my eyes.
Returning the gaze, I look into his azure orbs which hold a hint of surprise as they gently burn through mine. A stern expression covered his face while his eyes seemed to have a charmingly timid glow which I had only seen once before, a very long time ago. A time which is long gone but is always going to stay with me. A small shade of regret and sorrow falls onto my face as I'm left reminded of the past. The past which was too unbearable to say out loud, keeping it locked in was the best way to make it appear unreal. The recent accidents both combined felt like nothing compared to what had happened on 26 July 2009.
The slightest thought made my heart clench.
Oblivious that I've been looking at him all this time, I continue, until the flicker of sorrow in my eyes becomes visible to him as he realises he's been gazing at me as well and breaks the stare, his head turned away, now facing the ground.
"Helloooo, where are you lost?", Nagisa asks confused with my silence, snapping me out of my daze.
Turning to the rest who have all their attention on focused on me, I force back a tear and cover my face with an unbothered expression.
"I'm (Y/n), I'm here because of the enrichment program", I reply calmly, answering their inquiry, my uninterested voice ringing in my ears.
"Aw, so you're only here for a while," Nagisa moans, actually looking disappointed though he doesn't even know me,"Will you at least swim?"
"No."
I reply slowly, my mind still lost in trying to recover from the remembrance of my past. That part of my life...
Not wanting to ponder on it too much, I try to clear my head but it stayed as a side thought.
The only upside to remembering that day was that the swimming pool accident didn't seem so bad now. How could it, it didn't even come close to that. I had mostly gotten over the the water incident, maybe because my mind was used to thinking about it over and over again, maybe my mind eventually got sick of the thought due to the millions of times I looked over at the swimming pool from the class window. I had no idea. But what I did know was that, I would never be able to get rid of that date.
26 July 2009.
"BUT WH-", Nagisa starts to question once again, interrupting my deep sea of thoughts but thankfully is soon interrupted by the brown-haired guy.
"I think that's enough questions for now. Welcome to the Swim club, I'm Makoto and this is Haruka" He says, pointing towards the guy beside him.
"Haruka...", I mutter to myself, as I avoid glancing his way but my curiosity couldn't resist his strong aura. It reminded me of back then, when everything was innocent, when dreams felt achievable, when you believed everything would be alright no-matter how bad things got , it reminded me of when he was still with me. This guy, Haruka is similar yet he's very different at the same time.
Hiding my thoughts from displaying on my face, I hurriedly turn to the others as they start to discuss their different forms of practice. Gou had planned it all out and was standing right in front, proudly going through it with the blue-haired guy, Rei, frequently protesting. Actually interested in what she's saying for the first time, I listen attentively, only to be distracted a few seconds in.
"HARUKA JUST STRIPPED OFF HIS CLOTHES WITH ONLY HIS SWIMSUIT ON", I internally scream to myself, completely astounded by his sudden act.
The others react similarly as they shout out towards him, Gou emphasising especially on his muscles. However, it had little influence on the male, he simply just continues to swim ahead. Having lost interest in the practice plan now, I block out everything Gou says, only focusing on Haruka swimming. He seemed at peace. As he reaches the other side and turns around to look, I quickly move my eyes towards the rest of the group, not wanting to meet his eyes a third time.
"Rei, you can't swim!", Gou shrieks, her voice penetrating through my eardrums. What was she talking about? Rei the glasses nerd couldn't swim?
Now, this was shocking.
What was he doing in a swim club if he couldn't swim?
One by one they all coached but he would just sink to the bottom of the pool every time. Since everyone had given a try, they all looked towards Haruka hopefully, only to be answered with a "No".
Rude much. These guys are supposed to be his friends, not that I'd do it for mine...
He just walks away.
I try to encourage the others in my own way as they continue trying to teach him how to swim, regardless of all the times he lifelessly sinks to the bottom of the pool.
These guys seem so...pure and light. They also seem to have the same spirit that he had, always going on and never giving up.
Glancing at the sky, I realise it's nearly dark. I had stayed way longer than intended.
As the others slowly left, I was beginning to leave when I saw Rei sulking away.
Deciding against the decision of going to see him since it was none of my business, I turn around to leave when I catch sight of Haruka staring at him from afar.
Something in my intuition tells me to help them out and abandon my logic. It gets me into trouble but I can't control my desire to not regret what's to come after if I don't act now.
I start walking towards Haruka.
"Hey", I call out to him as he turns around clearly surprised. I can tell he's shocked despite the look on his face, it's the look I see reflected in people's eyes when I'm surprised.
Replying "Hey," with a blank face he waits for me to talk. I have no idea why there's slight hope in his eye but there always is, every time I look. No-matter how many times I dwell into his eyes, I can't get used to the feeling. Every time Ilook, there's that same glow, same innocence, same feeling. However, there was still something that differentiated Haruka from him. What am I even thinking? This guy was a total stranger before today then why am I feeling so close to him already.
"You should help Rei", My tone seems quiet but with a hint of commanding nature, it's how my voice is, "He really wants to swim and I suppose he looks up to you. I'm sure if you taught him, he'll feel more encouraged", I tilt my head to the side out of habit as I finish the most words I've said in a long time. I wasn't a talker. Nor did I want to keep staring at him, giving my mind an open chance to start making comparisons of all sorts.
"I only swim free", He utters plainly with a hint of seriousness.
"That doesn't mean you can't teach him.", I speak back optimistic.
"You can teach him free", I add, noticing a slight twitch in his forehead as he looks down at me.
Both of us are engulfed in a deep silence, as he stares at the marble floor while the seconds slip by with me taking in his warm and beautiful features. This was a nice feeling but somewhere deep inside dread was creeping its way up. Haruka really wasn't like him. Convincing myself that I'm somewhat satisfied with the result, I continue watching him. I wasn't normally like this, but he was making me like this. I had never looked at someone else this way.
Suddenly, I realise his eyes returning my gaze. It seemed like he wanted me to realise something or as if he has expected something else. They bore deeply into mine, and I can feel myself breaking eye contact and looking to the side so I don't end up embarrassed that we were staring at each other like two lovesick teens.
HOLD ON...WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY MIND!
NOTHING LIKE THAT IS GOING ON!
I scream inside my head, moving my gaze away, slowly sauntering outside, catching a slight...blush!?...on his face.
He seems to realise he'd been staring at me WAY too much and looks down at the floor, unknowing of how to reply. It's not like it didn't happen a lot but he did that too openly... I was probably wrong about him being like me.
Without looking back, I keep walking towards home, his voice still lingering in my ears.
I only swim free.
From this single sentence, I could tell Haruka's nothing like him.
He was competitive and a great friend, I wouldn't have asked for anyone better.
His thought was enough to make me teary eyed but I wasn't going to let the tear shed ,I had trained myself countless times to not let my emotions get the better of me but more importantly, he wouldn't want me crying.
On the other Haruka doesn't really seem like he gets close to people. But out of all the people I've met, he was the only one who reminded me of the past, not only the haunting things but the little things I used to enjoy in life, even if someone like himself was the furthest away from them.
"I only swim free", I repeat under my breath, looking up at the clear, terrestrial night sky.