Laval Asher: Thank you! And she is indeed, catching some feelings.

She toys with the idea, turning it over and over in her mind. She doesn't like it but she thinks that it may well be the only way. Azula lays back and listens to the waves as they beat against the side of the boat. The constant rock and sway of the vessel won't make for an easy execution…

She clasps her hands atop her belly and stares up at the ceiling. If she breathes deeply enough, she can feel the energy of her fire chakra stirring beneath her touch. At the very least, she can take comfort in that. She closes her eyes, she supposes that she can use it to achieve her end goal. She drums her fingers.

"Hello, Azula."

She cracks an eye open. "Avatar." She sits up. "I was just about to send for you." Of course, on this loathsome ship she would have to send herself.

"Is everything alright."

"Everything is quite deplorable. This cabin is too small, it's too dim, it smells rank…"

"You do realize that there's a deck, right?"

Azula shrugs, "that's not what I was going to fetch you for."

"Okay then, what do you want?"

She hesitates momentarily and clears her throat. "I have decided that we will try your silly pacifist monk method."

Aang blinks. "You want to balance your chakras?"

She nods.

"You do realize that you're going to have to trust me and really open yourself up, right?"

"Don't patronize me, Avatar."

He lifts his hands, "I was just letting you know what you're asking for."

"I know what I'm asking for." Perhaps she speaks with too much force, but she needs to, if only to remind herself of her own agency. She closes her eyes and grits her teeth. She has agency and she has come to this decision on her own. It is her choice. Hers alone.

"Okay." Aang smiles. "Try to get comfortable. And just so you know, once we start the process you need to follow through. I cut myself off from the Avatar state when I left it unfinished."

Azula's stomach flutters. "But you have gone into the Avatar state since?"

Aang nods, "because your father just so happened to throw me into a rock, I struck right on my scar."

Her stomach flutters a second time.

"Do you still want…"

"We talked about this, Avatar. Don't question me. I want to unblock my chakras." But she isn't sure that she wants to delve into those deeper, buried aspects of herself. Not in front of him...not in front of anyone really, but especially not in front of the Avatar.

.oOo.

He can see the reluctance and conflict in her eyes, it radiates off of her. Impulsively, he takes her hand. "You'll do fine, I think that this could really help you. Not just with your bending. It was...scary and hard but I got to know myself a lot better."

She seems to focus more on his hand than his words so he withdraws his touch and repeats himself. "That's the kind of healing you're looking for, isn't it?"

Azula nods. "It is, yes." She lifts the hand that he had gripped and clutches it in her own.

"Okay, just make yourself comfortable. It's best to sit criss-crossed but these wooden planks aren't exactly relaxing so if you want to lay down on the bed you can. Whatever helps you feel the flow of your chakra the best."

He watches her crawl onto the bed and light a few candles. She lowers her head to the pillow and inhales deeply. His own tummy flutters. If this goes wrong…

If it goes wrong he isn't exactly sure what will become of her.

She holds her hands over her fire chakra. He isn't particularly surprised, she seems to do that alot. Likely she takes comfort in physically feeling that it is there and thriving, even if not as intensely as she'd like.

"Alright, close your eyes." He waits for her to listen before saying, "let me know when you're ready."

She lays for a few moments.

.oOo.

She isn't quite ready at all but she has been out of touch for much too long. It is time to let go of fear and weakness. She needs this, she needs to be herself. Fully and genuinely herself.

"Go on, Avatar."

He nods. "The first chakra is the earth chakra, found at the base of the spine. It deals with survival."

She knows plenty about that.

"And it is blocked by fear."

She tenses. "Do we have to start there?" She mutters. She can't imagine a worse thing to start with.

"We have to go in order, yeah."

She swallows and lays back down. She can see it on his face that he itches to ask her if she is sure that she wants to proceed. "What are you afraid of?" He asks instead. "You don't have to say it allowed, but you can if that helps. Think of the things you are afraid of and then clear your mind of them."

"That's it?" Just clear my mind?"

He nods, "you can face them later if you want, for now just recognize them and put them aside." He smiles.

She closes her eyes again. Her tummy is already tight with dread and she hasn't even begun conjuring the images. Images of failure, of being disheveled and bound to a grate. Images of her father looming over her and berating her for it and a slew of other things. Of her mother, her father, Zuko Mai, and TyLee...everyone leaving her-they always do. Flickers of being bound up with spirit vines draped over her head, flashes of Sanyul hovering over her, observing. Blood on her fingers as she brings them away from her cheek, a small blade in her shaking hand.

She tries to clear them but they don't stop. There is a steady onslaught of them, some that don't have visuals at all. Some that she doesn't quite grasp. They are feelings; softness, kindness, and love. And she sees Aang, not particularly in the same way that she sees Ozai or Sangyul. Not even Aang himself, she realizes, but a swirl of pinks and reds and whites that surrounds him, that comes from her.

She thinks that her lower lip is quivering.

She thought that she was stronger than this.

Perhaps she had been.

And another image breaks through; it is a version of her, pathetic and sobbing. She thinks that it is becoming the truth. She doesn't want it to be the truth.

She feels his hand on hers again, "you have to clear these thoughts, Azula." She finds herself gripping his hand tighter. She isn't sure that she can do this, but she has to. She has to or…

She thinks again of that sobbing version of herself. She thinks of herself in general.

Aang strokes the back of her hand.

She has to clear them out. She takes another breath and exhales, purging the images with her breath. It takes several breaths for her mind to finally grow quiet again. And when it does, Agni, when it does there is a lightness. A notable lack of tension. Azula's grip on Aang's hand loosens.

.oOo.

The boy is grinding. "One down, six left."

"It worked?" She asks. Her breathing is still somewhat rugged.

"It did, I can tell." He confirms. "Was that so bad?"

"It was unbearable."

Her voice is shaky so he drops his jesting. He wishes that he could promise her that it gets easier. "You seem like you're able to get through a lot of things that people find unbearable. This time it'll be worth it. I promise."

"We don't have to continue right away, you can take a few minutes."

She nods. He has a feeling that she is more than a little uncomfortable. He doesn't think that she has allowed herself to be this vulnerable since their breakout. At least this time she has volunteered for this. "Guru Pathik made me drink this gross onion and banana juice." He notes.

She crinkles her nose. "You didn't mention that this was a method of torture."

Aang laughs. "You ready to move forward?"

"I am."