Thank you *insert heart emoji*

Aang breathes a sigh of relief. It might be that the hardest part is over. She doesn't seem to have the same earthy attachments that he had when faced with choosing between Katara and the Avatar state. He considers, for the first time, that dealing with shame would be the biggest obstacle for Azula. For a woman who is so heavily immersed in teachings of pride, glory, and honor.

The air has shifted significantly in several ways that he can note. There is notably less dread and anxious anticipation lingering about.

Azula herself seems lighter somehow. Less tense.

She is no longer radiating doubt and apprehension. It might be that she agrees that the worst has been faced. Albeit, she still doesn't look fully content and comfortable. Likely, she is still well aware that there are still four chakras to work through. Four more walls to tear down. Four more vulnerabilities to reveal.

He can't imagine that this is in any way, soothing for the princess.

"The next chakra we will work with is the air chakra, located at the heart."

Absently, Azula brings her hand to hover over it.

Likely this one will be hard for her as well but in a much different way.

"Elaborate, Avatar."

"This chakra is about love and is blocked by grief."

She exactly subverts his expectations when she seems to deflate instead of going tense again. Her face darkens considerably. "There isn't anything to block."

Aang shakes his head. "You wouldn't be able to feel grief if you didn't lose anything that you loved."

"I miss my crown. I miss…" she trails off. "I miss the respect and what not. Does that count?"

Aang crinkles his brows. Truth be told, he isn't sure. Mostly when he thinks of love, he thinks of people. He isn't sure that a love of an object or power quite counts. He shrugs, "I guess that you can try it. Think of the things that you love and of how you lost them."

.oOo.

She isn't sure that she wants to do that. It is bad enough admitting that she has fallen so far, but to draw the memories forth and dwell upon them. She closes her eyes, they'd been over this in the last chakra.

She thinks of the crown no longer on her head, of the throne, of a steady stream of adoring subjects awaiting her command. And then she thinks of an agni kai. One final battle that snatached it all away.

"Now what?"

"Well, uh...what Guru Pathik told me was that I just had to remember that the Air Nomads' love for me still exists in the world as a form of energy. And so they aren't really gone. I don't think that, that works for objects and ideas…" he scratches his head.

"So we can't move forward?" Azula grits her teeth. "I went through all of this and we can't finish?"

"Well aren't there any people that you love?"

"That won't work either, Avatar."

"Why not?"

"Because they don't love me." They aren't dead but she lost them all the same and she can't imagine that there are any traces left of Mai and TyLee's love for her. She isn't sure that there was any love to begin with. Not for the first time she considers that she simply isn't the sort of person that anyone could have affections for, much less, deep affections. She feels a darkness resurfacing, likely she is only blocking her air chakra further. But she can't keep the dark cloud from swelling; she lost her mother too but her mother never loved her either…

She has lost her father and his affections as well. Lost his respect on top of it. She doesn't need to talk to him to know as much. "I lost all of them but there isn't any," she gestures with her hands, "love energy floating around." She struggles to keep her voice level.

Aang puts his hand on her back. "Who are they? Mai and TyLee?"

Azula nods, "mother and father as well." And her old self. She did love who she used to be. She vocalizes as much.

Aang's eyes light up. "Self love is a form of love."

And what a bitter thing, just like she realizes that not even she can love herself.

Oblivious, he continues, "just like the energy of the Air Nomads' love, your old self is still there…"

She isn't quite listening. It is a hopeless cause. But then again, she doesn't have to love this version of her. She didn't lose this version of her, it is very much still around. Still around rendering her remotely useless. She loved and lost her old self. But, if the Avatar is right, then her old self is still around somewhere. Probably off in the further reaches of her mind, but it isn't gone. That her isn't gone.

At least some of the blockage clears.

She shakes her head, "that's not good enough Avatar."

He thinks for a moment. "Well how about this; unlike the nomads, Mai, TyLee, and your parents aren't gone. Zuko and Iroh aren't either. There might not be any love energy floating around right now, but there can be eventually. Right?"

"Perhaps."

"Well can you at least acknowledge that, if you work for it, that, that love isn't truly gone."

She isn't certain that she likes the idea of having to work for love. It is a late epiphany, but she is certain that she wants affection that comes naturally. The sort that she doesn't have to work for.

Unconditional love.

"Avatar, I want…nevermind. Yes, you're correct, that love isn't truly gone." Logically speaking it isn't. It is there for whenever she wants to-if she ever does-put an effort in for it.

"Azula, you can't just say it, you have to actually believe it to unblock that chakra."

She rubs her hands over her face, how is this one harder to overcome than the shame?

"Maybe 'work for it' was the wrong thing to say, huh?" He guesses. He pauses, seeming to think it over. "You can try to talk to them again. Is it really that hard for you to believe that they might just like you if you let them know the real you."

"Avatar, I don't even know the real me, that is why we are doing this ridiculous ritual."

"You haven't learned anything about yourself?"

She has, but like many other things, she isn't sure if she likes what she is learning. The only thing that she is learning is that she is weak. Much weaker than she thought she was. There is a depth in shame. A paradoxical pride in shame. In facing it and making something of it. She wonders what she can make of it.

Love.

She can make love from shame. She can shape herself up from shame. Shape herself into something...someone that she can actually appreciate and respect. Perhaps someone that others can appreciate and respect...and love.

Weakness, she decides, is nearly as paradoxical as shame. Strength, in its truest form is born at the weakest moments. "Several things, Avatar." She answers finally.

.oOo.

Understanding lights her eyes and relief floods into him. He should have known that she would struggle with this one too. Even so, her determination is quite a force. It always has been. He doesn't ask her exactly what has clicked in her mind, it is probably better if he lets her have a few secrets.

It is probably boundlessly more comfortable for her that way. Which is why he is particularly surprised when she says, "I suppose that I just wish I had love now."

"You do." He grins. "If it makes it any easier to unblock that chakra, I love you." His face flushes as soon as the words leave his mouth. "As a friend! I think that you're a good person to be friends with. And friendship is a type of love. So, uh, now you have some proof that people can like you without you having to work for it."

He thinks that her face colors lightly. She clears her throat before speaking again. "I did work for it though?"

"Did it feel like you had to or did it just happen naturally?"

"A little bit of both." She replies. "It was work but it wasn't tedious work."

"Good." He rubs the back of his head. "But you do know that I'm your friend, right?"

Her face colors more ever so slightly. "I am aware. Next chakra, Avatar."

He gives a small laugh. "I think that this next should be a lot easier, we already started talking about it. The sound chakra is located in the throat. It's all about truth and it's blocked by…"

"Lies." She cuts in.

He nods. "More specifically the lies that we tell ourselves."

.oOo.

Azula frowns, she could have sworn that he said, 'easier'. Surely he is aware that she is a master of carefully woven lies. So careful and deeply intricate that she has very likely spun several for herself. It might be that she lies to herself more than anyone else.

Though she does suppose that he is right, they have already uncovered several of them. Her false sense of confidence and greatness, the idea that she has nothing to work on. She thinks of Ember Island, of a night around a fire. Of the biggest lie that she had told that night; my own mother thought I was a monster, but I don't really care. She cares more deeply than she wants to admit even to herself. Everyone thinks that she is a monster, and by Agni, she cares too much. She doesn't think that she would have shattered so completely if she didn't.

Because you're just so-o perfect. If only that wasn't a lie. If only her life had been as pretty as she made it look.

She very nearly laughs out loud, it would seem that the Avatar is right, this one is easier. She can't seem to put a stop to her flurry of thoughts. And she has only breeched the surface. The truths that she has already lightly faced even if she'd buried them down again.

Those aren't the ones that rattle her. The truths that leave her with an icy dread are the ones she had pushed back as far as she could. Where her perfect life is such a pretty lie, she has several ugly ones.

Ugly but easy.

It is so much easier to think that fear is a perfect substitute for love. That fear can earn her friendship and company. She knows this. Especially now that the prospect of being lovable has been so plainly laid out in front of her.

It is so much easier to declare that the throne is her destiny than to even begin to fathom that her fate is not so clearcut. It is so much easier to do what her father has told her than to forge her own path.

Her stomach plummets and she swallows hard as she scratches at the final layer. It comes up like the mental equivalent of carving out a chunk of her skin and peeling it back. She liked being under Ozai's control.

And there is a part of her that liked being under Sangyul's control.

Because, by Agni, so long as she has someone to direct her and mold her, she can be absolved of any responsibility. She doesn't have to take blame for her own wrong doings. If she could pretend like she didn't have a choice then she couldn't be resented for making the wrong ones.

Perhaps she had let Sangyul toy with her for as long as he did because it was easier.

Somehow it was easier.

It is so much easier to blame Sangyul and Aang for her conflict than to acknowledge that most of her conflict and insecurity is all her own.