A/N: This chapter took me much longer than it should have and I apologize. On the flip side, I'm pretty much already half way into the next one and it should be up fairly soon.
Reviewers: I'm sorry. I know that month long break before chapter twelve was a bit much but I don't intend to let that happen anytime soon. Rest assured. I'm very glad you guys enjoyed the reunion and more fluff is coming. And a warm welcome to my new french reader/reviewer. Very happy to hear you're liking the story so much. Again, all you guys make my day with your reviews.
This chapter kind of feels like a filler chapter but it's necessary. I'm very excited for chapter fourteen though. The part I'm working on currently is quite fluffy and sweet but... I don't want to reveal too much. You'll just have to wait.
Enjoy and review :)
Drawing in a deep breath, Hope focused all of his energy, all of his being, into his magic. He held his hand shakily over his last injury, one of the gashes on his arm, until he felt the warm caress of his healing powers take all remnants of his wound away. Smiling at the sight of his now bare skin, Hope let out a sigh of contentment. I guess having my brand back isn't all that bad-
"You really shouldn't do that you know?" Lightning stood before him now and realized, with his startled look before her, that he mustn't have noticed her enter. "You need to be careful. You have to watch your strength."
Her eyes held such worry and fear. She came over to Hope and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead to make sure his previous fever had dissipated. This caused the young man to roll his eyes. Gently, he took her hand from his head and squeezed it. "I'm fine, Light. Don't worry about it. It's only a few healing spells. And look..." He gestured to his arm and neck. "... all gone. Everything's all healed. No more injuries." Smiling brightly, he hoped to convey to her that all was well.
Yeah, all physical injuries... She had to admit, he was looking healthier. Even without his unnatural healing, he seemed to be getting better, though it had only been three days. But even so, she could tell that there was a lot of lasting damage. Her silent observations told her as much. The way silence would carry his mind into a place that caused his body to shudder. How his eyes looked off into the distance as if the world were to shatter in an instant. How sometimes a nurse's, a friend's or even her own touch would cause him to jump, a bone chilling fear overcoming him for the smallest of moments. "Just don't overdo it. I still don't agree with you being discharged so soon." Lightning frowned at the thought. Yes, the soldier thoroughly hated hospitals, but if anything were to go wrong it was the best place for Hope to be. Other than at her side of course.
Shaking his head, he got out of bed on wobbly legs. The last of his medication was leaving him a bit drowsy and his limbs a tad numb. Lightning, like her self-appointed namesake, was by his side to keep him steady. "Everything's okay, Light. I've healed all of my injuries so there's nothing that they can help me with anymore. Me lying here is only sucking up space, time and money. I will not burden these people any longer." Sliding out of her grasp, he went over to retrieve his bag of clothes. He sighed as he gripped the handle. "Are you sure about this personal guard thing?" Hope stayed with his back turned toward her, eyes finding a new interest in the fraying handle in his hands. He hoped the question didn't hurt her, he just didn't want her in danger because of him.
She was grateful that he remained facing away. His question had hurt her and that along with confusion had surely been evident on her face. Wiping the vulnerable expression away, she walked up to him and turned him around by the shoulder. "Of course I am. I thought..." She growled. Weakness. That was all she'd been showing in the past few days and she was getting sick of it. "I thought of all people you would want-"
"Of course I do", interrupted Hope, dropping his bag and putting his hands on her shoulders. "I just..." Biting his lip, he wasn't sure how to phrase it. "I don't want to burden you either." His eyes searched her, finding nothing. After a few moments of silence, he was sure he had offended her in some way. He retreated to the bathroom with his bag in hand as he saw that she wasn't going to reply.
Lightning's stoicism stayed out of pure will. It defied all emotions at that moment. I don't want to burden you... It was something Serah had once told her years ago. Something that had made the elder sister's heart clench and now the words were even more painful. A burden Hope? That's what you think you are? And she had stood there and let him think it. She put her palm to her forehead, getting increasingly tired of disappointing herself and Hope. See! I'm terrible at this. Helping people, comforting people, loving people- Wait... what?
Hope stepped out in his usual uniform. He stood confused before Lightning. She was in the same spot he left her in and seemed to be completely lost in thought, an uncharacteristic pained expression on her.
Lightning noticed a split second before he reached out for her, that he had rejoined her in his room. She shook her head. "Hope... Hope you're not a burden." She glanced at him tentatively before turning away and grabbing her holstered gunblade from it's previous temporary home beside Hope's bed. "Don't ever say something like that again", Lightning demanded.
Hope's brow furrowed at his friend's stern and seemingly angry tone. "I want you safe. Being around me-"
"One: telling someone who wants to protect you, that being around you is dangerous, will only make them want to stay near you and protect you more." He smiled sheepishly and chuckled, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Two: My job is unsafe. If I weren't guarding you, I'd be off fighting monster after monster, being the soldier I am. Guarding you is probably going to be quite boring in comparison." A small smile tugged at her lips as she neared him. His uneasiness was slowly fading and she was proud of herself for being the one to relieve him of it. As she continued, she put her hand gently on his arm. "Three: I want you safe too. Don't think of this as a job for me. This is is me being there for someone I care deeply for."
A stunned look overcame him as he looked to his mentor in awe. It wasn't like her to say such emotionally revealing things and she had been doing it so often lately. It seemed that even with his time away from her, she was still coming out of her shell, and Hope loved it. "Okay. I won't say another word about it." He stepped away to collect some last things.
As she watched him walk away, she noticed his newly attained attire. "Don't think you're going back to work today." She watched his shoulders slump and heard a sigh escape from him.
"Compromise?" He turned his face so he could see her from the corner of his eye. Seeing Lightning in a rigid stance with her arms crossed was no surprise. He knew what her answer would be and he knew he wouldn't be up to battle her on it today.
"Not a chance, Estheim", she answered, slight amusement in her tone. Things were already reaching normalcy and she liked it. However, whenever there was pleasantness, horrible events soon followed.
Hope turned around, stuffing the last of his things in his bag and grinned at her. "That's Director Estheim to you, Sergeant."
Lightning frowned and flicked him on the forehead as he neared. He laughed, the sweet sound flooding her ears. Goddess, I missed this. They walked out of the room but as Lightning went to walk down the hall, she felt an arm wrap around her waist and direct her down a different path. Seeing Hope as the owner of the invading appendage, the soldier relaxed somewhat but was ready to hiss at him. If someone hadn't interrupted of course.
"Hiding your girl from me Director?" The two turned to see a man walking towards them, a wide smirk on his face. He was about Lightning's height and wore an overly expensive blue suit with a few gold rings on his left hand. His rust colored hair was slicked back, giving him a very greasy look.
Hope clicked his tongue as his arm left Lightning's waist. "No, just trying to save your face from its impending pain."
The man laughed softly. "Is that a threat my dear friend? Your words wound me."
Lightning's brow raised. It was easy to see that for as friendly as the man wanted to be perceived, he was definitely not friends with Hope. Even if Hope had been able to hide his agitation with the man, Lightning could see the stranger's hostility in his eyes.
"Oh no, not a threat. A warning." Hope glanced in Lightning's direction. He knew the guy and knew it was only a matter of time before he hit on her. Which also meant it was only a matter of time before he was seeing stars.
The man followed the director's eyes toward the soldier beside him. "And who is this gorgeous vision?" He went for her hand which slid out of his grasp almost as quick as he had taken it, causing Hope to grin.
"Sergeant Lightning Farron", declared Lightning. "And you are?"
Before the irritating man could answer, Hildough came around the corner and into view. "Ah, there you are Waynes. Slipped right out of my sight." Hildough came up beside the man seeming a bit disgruntled. "Terribly sorry, Director. It is good to see you doing well and I imagine you would like to continue on your way," he began pulling Waynes back to where they came, "so we will just be going now."
Smiling, Waynes pulled out of his grip. "But we were having such a pleasant conversation. And I just met the most beautiful young woman."
Lightning crossed her arms and took a small step back from the man as he came closer. She wanted to knock his lights out, but felt that the action would be a tad excessive. That and the fact that Hope was keeping her strangely calm with his hand currently at the small of her back, rubbing small circles into it.
Hildough stepped a bit in front of the man invading Lightning's personal space. "We should be going. You have a plane to cat-"
"Yes. Yes of course." Waynes sighed. "It was great, as always, to see you Director." They shook hands, Hope giving him a small forced smile. "And it was simply wondrous to make your acquaintance Miss Farron." He held out his hand before her which she looked at with disgust.
She was ready to bark at the man but Hope stepped in seeing her ready to attack. "It's Sergeant Farron and I'm sure it was."
Waynes raised a brow as he retracted his hand, soon following after Hildough.
Letting out a relieved sigh, Hope turned to Lightning. "Well that was... what?" She didn't look pleased.
"I don't need you stepping in to handle things for me." More than a little peeved, she grabbed Hope's bag from his hands and continued in their original direction. "And who the hell was that guy?"
Quickly rejoining Lightning's side, he eyed his bag in her hands, wondering if he could reclaim it. The questioning expression he'd given her soon turned downcast by Lightning's tight grip and dismissive glance. "He's the Hildough of Sanctum City... though much slimier as you must've noticed. Alder Waynes is their representative... but he doesn't usually come out here", spoke Hope putting a hand to his chin as a perplexed expression came over him. "It's usually Hildough that goes over there."
Dornum drove Hope and Lightning to the Estheim residence. It was a short and peacefully quiet ride. At least that would be how it appeared. The quiet had led Hope's thoughts to wander back into his days in the Ark. As he stared out the window, expression completely blank, he heard the faint screaming of Zalera again. The smell of rancid vomit reached his nose causing his throat to dry. He could feel the cold metal of Sebastian's favorite tool slicing into his skin and taste a bitter saltiness as his tears reached his lips. He could see his own blood beginning to leak off of the table and splatter on the stone floor beneath it, before his eyes searched for something-anything that could take his mind off of the blade that was tearing through his abdomen.
Lightning watched him like a hawk. She knew there was something terrible going on inside that head of his and it caused her tremendous worry. During the silent car ride, she had noticed a subtle disturbance come over him and she couldn't help her own mind that ran astray, imagination plagued with thoughts of what he could be remembering. At some point, his lip began to quiver and his hands slowly balled into fists as he was surly attempting to stop the shaking from spreading throughout his body. Noticing this, the pinkette slowly took his hand in hers and squeezed it. You're here Hope. You're home. With me.
As he felt the contact, Hope jumped, suddenly roused from his torturous mind. He squeezed his eyes shut as the last remnants of his torment fell away, leaving him in his car with his driver and Lightning. Light. The young man looked over toward her and saw the small smile she tried to give him, but he could also see the serious worry etched into her features. He squeezed back, once again trying to fool her into thinking he was all right.
They stared into each other's eyes for the following seconds, hands clasped tightly together as if neither of them ever wanted to let go. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes could have very well turned to hours for they continued to be consumed by the other's captivating eyes, soft touch and the slowly diminishing space between them. So lost in each other they were, that they hadn't noticed the car come to a stop before their destination.
Dornum cleared his throat. "We're here sir."
Their hands quickly fell back to their sides as the two took in their surroundings. Apparently they'd been sitting in front of Hope's house for quite some time. Hope blinked a bit, trying to regain his composure. Hearing a knock on his window, he looked and found Zalera standing just outside the door, a smirk on her face.
"You're blushing", Zalera teased, as her friend exited the car. The comment earned her a small, ineffective glower from him to which she just smiled. Glancing at the cause of Hope's pink cheeks getting out on the other side, Zalera noticed there being a soft pink dusting Lightning's face as well. "You aren't the only one." Before she could see his expression, she turned and walked back up to Hope's door, now adorned by a guard on each side. "I was dropped off a while ago. They told me there was something you wanted to speak with me about?" She turned, waiting for the two lovebirds to collect themselves and let her in.
"Yes, but uh... let's get inside okay?" Letting the ladies inside first, Hope felt like a stranger in his own home. It's true that with his heavy work load, the silverette rarely made it home much but he never spent more than a month away. Now, stepping into the foyer, he felt oddly out of place yet completely relaxed. Despite his long time away, this was his home.
"So, where am I staying", asked Lightning nonchalantly.
Hope's brows furrowed as he contemplated the meaning to her question. "What?"
The soldier frowned finding that she would have to explain herself. "Well I am your personal guard. I'm staying by you. Therefore I'll be living here... with you." She found herself fighting an oncoming burn rushing towards her face as she finished her sentence.
It made sense, but that still didn't stop the slight bewilderment in him at her simple statement. "Um..." he spun around to face her. "...does that mean that you..." He trailed off as he put the pieces together. Oh no... A lopsided grin slowly appeared on his face.
The man's expression was met with a confused Zalera and a ruffled Lightning who soon glared back at him. "Yes, I've been staying at the little punk's place", she grumbled.
Biting back a laugh, Hope could see a very disgruntled Lightning sitting in Cass's tiny, messy apartment and it wasn't pretty. Relieving himself of the visual, he led the way through the house giving them a slight tour. "Well on the right is the family room with the kitchen beside it."
Lightning's eyes widened seeing the large kitchen that held many appliances and utensils as if it were a professional chef's home. A shame I'm a terrible cook.
"And across from them on our left is the bathroom and then my room. The sliding door there, beside the stairs, leads to the backyard and the garden."
"Garden?" Lightning found it interesting that the home which seemed quite big for two people would have a garden tended by two workaholics. Well one now...
Hope smiled bashfully as he ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah well my mom used to love gardens and she missed having one after we moved to Palumpolum. Anyway I take care of it when I can. Guess I took after my mom with the green thumb. At least that's what my dad used to say. This whole house was designed from what we knew of what my mom wanted in a house." A solemn look soon followed his explanation but he quickly brightened up, trying to stay upbeat. Turning back around, the three ascended the winding staircase that came up into the next room. "As you probably guessed, this is the library." The room was very spacious and grand. Enormous oak bookcases lined with books stood tall covering all of the wall space in the room. The north wall however was one giant window that looked over the front of the house, the last of the sun shimmering in through the clear glass.
"That's... a safety hazard" spoke Lightning as she took a small step towards it.
"It's bulletproof", chimed Hope as he turned away, continuing with showing off the rest of the house. "On the right is the art room and my father's... or-I guess... my office." He cleared his throat and soon bit his lip. "On the left is the master bedroom, the bathroom and I guess Light will be taking the guest bedroom there." He pointed it out to her and she followed him into it. There was a queen sized canopy bed with a deep red comforter and matching curtain. The plush carpeting was very soft and a nice cream color to accompany the oak wood walls. There was an oak side table, dresser and vanity that matched the bed's frame, completing the set. "I hope it suits you. We can make some adjustments if you-"
"It's nice." Lightning brought her hand over the comforter to feel it's velvety smoothness. Truthfully, she felt it was a tad too much for her taste. It was a beautiful room but too fancy.
"And..." , Hope exited the room, the women soon trailing behind. He went to two glass doors and opened them to reveal a large wooden deck that looked out over the back yard and gave a breathtaking view of Pulse. There was a covered grill against the house and a small garden swing that sat just off to the side.
Zalera peeked over the edge of the railing to look into the back yard. "Wow Hope."
Lightning found herself joining the warrior and was soon in a small state of awe. There was a massive lush garden below them with tons of various flowers, bushes and small trees. There were small vegetable patches and even a quaint pond, a stone rim surrounding it.
"I didn't think I'd be seeing much nature in the city." Zalera looked over the scene in amazement. It seemed that everything she had been told in her life about Cocoon and it's inhabitants were quickly being proven wrong. As they grew up, Fara, the eldest and wisest of their tribe, always told them of the fools of the world above.
"They're heathens", the woman would say. "They care not for our wise deities but only for their mini gods that feed, shelter and protect them. The city folk in that sphere know nothing of the true struggles in life. They are happy on their tethers and leashes as long as they are provided with their manufactured, processed goods and newfangled gadgets. Reliance on the fal'Cie is all they will ever know. But not us. We provide for ourselves. We appreciate the world around us, its nature and its creatures, and most importantly the great beings who created all of this."
Fara was always thought to be all knowing, especially to the youth of their tribe. Cocoon was a common topic to which she only spoke of with disgust and in the most derogatory fashion. She once said that their world held no wildlife, none at all. They were deprived of the beauty of nature and wouldn't know a flower if they saw one Therefore they held no appreciation for the outdoors and would have no place on Pulse.
Zalera was quickly coming to the realization that Fara, the woman who she had grown up knowing as a teacher of all subjects, seemed to be nothing but a storyteller. These people, former occupants of Cocoon, were much stronger, much smarter, and much more in tune with life and the hardships and beauty of Pulse than the old woman had ever given them credit for.
Bouncing on the balls of his feet and hugging his middle as a chill came over him, Hope sighed. "Yeah, my own little sanctuary I guess. Anyway, the top floor is the attic." His hand gestured up to the last floor with little interest, his mind preoccupied with the upcoming topic of their next conversation. "We should get inside so we can talk."
After a few minutes, Zalera and Lightning sat in the family room while Hope put on some tea in the kitchen. When Hope rejoined them, the green-haired woman looked to him with curiosity. "So what is it you wanted to talk with me about?"
Hope sat in the recliner across from the two women on the couch. His posture was rigid and his eyes drifted over the room as he considered how to approach the conversation. "How are you?"
The woman knitted her brow as she crossed her legs, dropping her bag in front of her, chakrams still tied onto it's front straps.
Lightning looked at the weapons curiously. It wasn't often you met someone who chose to fight with chakrams. They were of a very shiny steel, seemingly well kept and the eight spikes were extremely sharp. It seemed the Pulsian really adored the color green since along with her green knee length skirt, green skin tight tank, green hair and green eyes, the inner rim of her weapons were also a shiny green.
Zalera took a few moments to consider his question. Physically, she was fine. Thanks to Hope, she didn't have to spend weeks with stitches holding together her side. Only a day after waking up, he'd insisted on healing her before even touching any of his own wounds. Emotionally, that was a whole different story. But no one else needed to know that. "I'm all right... as all right as can be expected I guess. Why?" Her gaze turned a bit skeptical as she searched his eyes.
Shifting due to his increasing uneasiness, the young man pursed his lips. "I uh... well first of all, how did you find your accommodations at the Academy base? Were they okay or..."
"The room was fine."
"Well... um" An overwhelming silence filled the room as his confidence waned. He was completely unsure of how to move the conversation onward. "Well since Lightning is already staying here... I do have another free room if it would suit you be-"
Zalera sat back into the couch as her eyebrow rose. "It's perfectly fine Hope. The room is nice and I don't want to intrude." A smirk played across her lips as she glanced in Lightning's direction who gave her a disconcerted look in return. "But I feel like you're avoiding the real question Hope. What is it that you really-" The woman was cut off by the loud screech of the kettle in the kitchen.
The silverette stood, silently thanking the Maker for the small disruption from their conversation to give him a little more time for his approach. He made his way to the kettle, ignoring the seemingly baffled looks the women held, probably due to his odd behavior, and set up a tray to serve his guests. As he was readying to leave the kitchen, Hope grabbed one last spoon from the silverware drawer. While he was shutting it though, he could have sworn he heard something. Like a voice.
"Hope"
Quickly spinning around, eyes jittering from place to place, he searched for someone in the room. His heart pounded harshly in his chest and his hand tightened unconsciously around the spoon as he recognized the voice. It sounded like...
"Miss me yet, Hope?"
His eyes widened. It couldn't be. Palms starting to sweat and heartbeat now drumming in his ears, Hope found his body reacting to the voice. Fear began to course through him. He knew that voice. No. Get a grip. It's nothing. It's just like in the car and the hospital. You went through an extremely traumatic event and it's just haunting you is all. You just have to work through it. It's all in your head.
As his mind began to calm, his body followed suit. His heart no longer felt like it was trying to break through his ribs, the slight tremor running through his limbs ceased and his hold on the spoon loosened. But as he turned to go bring his attention back to his original task, the young man caught sight of the utensil. It was now oddly bent in the middle and in a right angle. Baffled for a brief few seconds, Hope stared at it before figuring out what must've happened. In his fear and with the lack of control over his powers he must have conjured up a fire spell. While he blindly searched for the voice's owner, the concentrated energy was focused into the spoon, bending the metal.
"You okay in there", Lightning called from the family room, sounding a little concerned if not a bit agitated.
Hope smirked at the familiar tone and pinched the bridge of his nose. Just freaking myself out with imaginary voices. Nothing to worry about. "Yeah, I'm coming." Quickly throwing the damaged spoon away and grabbing a new one, that is going to remain in its current shape, he snatched up the tray. He was just a few steps shy of exiting the room before that all too familiar and close voice spoke again.
"You can't get rid of me that easily, darling."
Lightning and Zalera bolted from their seats as they heard a crash from the kitchen. As they neared the room, Lightning called to Hope but it seemed he didn't hear her. The tray, previously holding the kettle, cups, cream, sugar, etc, was now shattered and splattered on the floor at his feet. The young man stood frozen solid before them, face having paled considerably. "Hope? Hope, what happened?" He didn't respond to her which made her scared. "Answer me." His eyes had a distant look and though she stood inches before him, eye to eye, she knew he didn't see her. She reached out for him but was stopped.
The warrior reached for Lightning's arm to halt her. She knew there was something wrong with the kid and that it most definitely had to do with the Ark. "Touching him most likely will only make it worse." Lightning's eyes burned into hers with fury. Surely the soldier was pissed with her for stopping her. Well, to Lightning, I'm a complete stranger. She's probably thinking that she knows how to handle this because she's known him longer and knows him better. "Trust me, if-"
Lightning ignored her and grabbed onto his shoulder, shaking him. "Hope?"
Inhaling sharply and blinking, Hope was finally freed from his mind. "Sorry, I was just..." Avoiding any eye contact, he knelt down and began fumbling to pick up the mess he had made.
Lightning sighed. She didn't know what was going on with him or how she could possibly help. This was obviously another product of his torture and she wanted nothing but to ease all of this away. But she couldn't, could she? Bending down to help him clean, she tried to meet his gaze but he was intent at keeping it locked on the floor.
Finding that the three needed to find a way around this little catastrophe, Zalera went to try and hop back into their original conversation. " I think it's safe to say that chatting over tea is out. What did you want to talk about anyway?" Still avoiding her prying eyes, he bit his lip and continued to pick up the shattered pieces of the cups. "Okay, that's it. You get all squirmy every time we even go near the conversation and I want to know. Spit it out."
A loud sigh fell from his lips as he ceased his actions. Just ask. It's a good way to slide by this little mishap anyway. "Would you like to see Yeul?"
"Thank you, Dr. Torkin", spoke Hope as they walked into the Guardian Corps morgue.
"Of course. I'm happy to be of assistance." The man then scampered over to the proper drawer containing Yeul's body. He opened the drawer but before he could pull back the sheet, Hope grabbed his wrist, urgently enough to stop him but light enough to be polite.
"Could you give us a few minutes?"
The balding man's hand fell from the sheet. "Right. I'll just be right outside", he replied, eager to please.
After the man left the room, he looked over to the two women standing just inside the door. Lightning stood arms crossed, eyes dancing around the room seeming uncomfortable and uneasy. Zalera though, stood completely still, unmoving, her eyes pinned to the open drawer fifteen feet away. Hope stepped toward the emerald haired woman. "Zalera? Would you..."
Before he could continue, she walked slowly, calmly, almost mechanically, over to the body. Her eyes searched the sheet, almost afraid of what lied beneath. She brought her hand up to the top of the white fabric, letting it hover before dropping it back to her side. Several times she did this before her shoulders began to shake.
Tugging at his sleeve, Hope wondered if he was doing the right thing. If this would help her or hurt her. This could either bring her closure, or be just the thing to shatter whatever remained of her. Was she strong enough for this? Was it too soon? These questions were soon to be answered as Zalera finally willed herself to pull the sheet back.
A gasp sounded from her as she took in the young girl's face. Yeul... She looked so peaceful as if she were just asleep. But as Zalera brought her hand to the girl's face, it was undeniable. The unnatural coldness of her skin. The blue of her lips. The marks, cuts, and bruises that marred her delicate features. The death that radiated from her. The tears came much sooner than she'd expected but she couldn't keep them at bay, even if she'd wanted to. Slumping over the young girl's body, Zalera wailed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I failed you. I can't believe-you-you-y-you c-can't really be- Another pained cry erupted from her. Picking up the girl slightly, she brought Yeul to her chest, clutching onto her tightly.
Hope closed his eyes, head turned downward, giving them some semblance of privacy. He knew Zalera cared very much for Yeul and that this wasn't going to be easy, but he'd mistaken just how heartbreaking this would be. Yeul was like family to the woman, making her the last of her family, and probably the last of her tribe. Zalera had truly lost everything. Yet she continued on. For what purpose he was uncertain, but he didn't need to know, he admired her greatly for it anyway. She reminded him of a certain someone standing not five feet away.
This certain someone in contrast was having a hard time not staring at the scene. She could feel for the warrior. She knew what it was like to lose someone. How it felt when the realization finally hit. How it felt when you first saw the empty vessel left behind when the soul was long gone, out of your reach. She could easily remember the days mourning her father and mother. But as she looked at the two before her she felt fear in the pit of her stomach. Fear for what if that person on the table were someone she cared for just as much? What if that body now cradled so desperately in the strange woman's arms was her sister or Hope? What if she was the one clinging to the dead body, tears flooding her cheeks? Relief soon squashed the growing fear as her mind rationalized everything. Serah was in stasis, protected by her crystal case. Hope was beside her, under her watchful eye and protection again. She did not need to worry about this pain for this pain of loss was not her own, but belonged to the woman in front of her.
As the time passed, Hope and Lightning remained waiting until Zalera was finished. It was a long while before her cries died out and the tears slowed to a stop, but neither said a word. Zalera sniffed and wiped her eyes before wiping her tears from Yeul's face and cupping her cheek. "I hope you are happy in your next life and I hope that we meet again. I'm so sorry." As she placed the cloth back over Yeul, she felt her throat threatening to close and tears brimming her eyelids once again. Drawing in a shaky breath, she stood, arms wrapping around her middle.
Hope went to close the drawer but stopped at the knock on the door behind him. He turned to see Alyssa enter. "Aly-" He was cut off as she hugged him tightly. He sighed, wondering when this would stop. This was the third time he'd seen his assistant since he'd been back and every time was the same. A bone crushing hug and a teary eyed 'hello' and 'glad your back'. No wonder everyone thinks there's something going on.
Stepping away while keeping her hands on his shoulders, Alyssa smiled cheekily. "Hi Director. I'm so glad your back." Hope nodded and smiled politely. He received a small pout from the girl as he pushed her hands off of him, but her smile returned almost instantly. "You asked for me?"
"Yes." He turned toward the other occupants of the room. His brows furrowed at Lightning's hardened expression but as his eyes fell on Zalera, a sympathetic look overcame him. "Um... Z, are you-"
"I'm... all right", she responded shakily.
"You know my offer still stands." She turned to him confused. "About staying with us."
She smiled graciously, grateful for his kindness. "Oh please, Hope. I'm fine. And stop looking at me like that." She shoved his chest playfully causing him to stumble back a few steps.
They laughed for a few brief moments before Hope looked back to Alyssa. "If you could take Zalera back to base and make sure she's settled in-"
"No problem, Director. I'd be more than happy to." Alyssa nodded to Zalera who nodded slowly in return, following after the exiting assistant.
Just before leaving, she stopped, hearing Hope close the drawer. They all soon exited the room as Torkin closed it all up and locked it. Before following the rest of her group out, she turned towards the room, looking one last time at the drawer containing her dearest loved one. Her hand slid down the cool glass of the door's window as she took a deep breath. "I miss you", she whispered. "Know that I'll always love you."
A loud gasp alerted Hope to their straggling member. He searched behind him for Zalera and saw her still staring into the morgue through the door. He walked over toward her and put his hand at her back. He did this just in time to catch her as her legs gave out beneath her. The two collapsed to the floor as the tears came spilling over Zalera's cheeks once again.
"I can't leave her. I can't." She cried out as she buried her face into Hope's chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.
Hope bit his lip, wondering how he found himself in this situation. Pulling her closer towards him, he rested his chin atop her head and rubbed circles into her back to calm her down. After a few minutes passed, she seemed to only get worse. "Z, it's okay. Yeul's here and she's at peace now. Please, it's okay. Soon enough we can put her body to rest however you wish. Just... please calm down."
Sniffing a bit, she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry." Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red from crying and embarrassment. Hiccuping some, she wiped some snot from her nose as she mumbled another apology.
"It's okay." The young man gave her a small, comforting smile and stood, holding out a hand to pull her up. She took it and he then helped her off of the cold linoleum floor. "Now let's get some sleep huh?"
Lightning stared at the fabric that stretched above her bed. They had gotten back to Hope's house two hours prior and almost immediately shuffled off to bed. After all of the emotional crap that had occurred throughout the day, the soldier had been rather excited by the prospect of getting some rest. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, she had remained wide awake. At first she didn't think too much of it, thinking that maybe she just wasn't tired. As the hours passed though and the moon quickly progressed through the sky, she could feel how tired she was, how borderline exhausted she was getting.
So then she thought that maybe it was the new room, the strange location that her mind had to become accustomed to. It was plausible. Anyone would have a hard time adjusting to new living conditions, especially their bedroom. But this idea was quickly shot down. Lightning was a soldier. She knew how to quickly adjust to different conditions. And all her life she found she could pretty much sleep anywhere. Even ever since she was Claire.
Sitting up, the woman sighed. Letting her thoughts wander, she tried to find the cause and solution to this problem. She needed to sleep. What use would she be for protecting Hope if- Thats it! That was exactly what was wrong with the restless soldier. For the past few days, since the young man had reappeared in her life, she had been by his side, day and night. His presence had been right there while she had slept and apparently her mind and body had grown dependent on it. In only three days? She shook her head finding that to be a dumb thought. Hope had been gone for months and she'd slept just fine... most nights. It would be absurd. But as she sat there, pondering her predicament, it was the only explanation she could find. Especially since in the hospital they had only been separated by a few feet and were now not only rooms apart, but floors. These thoughts only led her to thinking about Hope's safety and the distance she would have to cover to get to him in time to save him. Would she even make it?
Huffing and shoving the covers off, she stood. She had to check on him now finding that all getting lost in her thoughts did for her was make her obsessively worry over the young man's safety. "Ugh, all I can say is thank Etro I'm not still staying in my apartment. That would have made this even more annoying and ridiculous."
Shuffling through the house and down the stairs, Lightning was quiet and stealthy to not wake Hope or alert the guards. As she hit the last step though, she heard a cry from Hope's bedroom. Springing into action, the soldier shot towards his door, fully aware of the absence of her weapon at her side. Silently cursing herself, she swung Hope's door open, now hearing more yells.
As she entered his room, she felt some of her panic lessen. Hope was physically fine. There was nothing really wrong and there was no intruder threatening is health. But on the other hand, something was very wrong with Hope as he was writhing around, lost in a mess of blankets, hopelessly locked in a nightmare. Drawing in a deep breath, Lightning went to his side.
He could feel it again. That damned hand was at his throat, choking the life from him as it had many nights before. Struggling to free himself, he found his bindings only tightening further. The air was all around him, taunting him, but he had no way of letting it into his lungs that were burning with need. Sebastian's eyes held that same sadistic flare they always did but it seemed to be far more intense this time.
Then the smell reached his nose. The burning of flesh. Hope had been so focused on fulfilling his need to breathe that he hadn't even been aware of the extra touch the burly man decided to use. Now he could feel that unbearable burn not only inside his throat but outside as well. His flesh felt like it was being seared off of him. The scorching flame held just under Sebastian's palm began to cause Hope's skin to boil and welt.
On the verge of passing out from the pain, his strangled yelps began to die out. He knew there was no one there to help him. There were plenty of people that could hear him sure, but there was no one within earshot who wanted to help end this horrid pain. Yet he cried out anyway. He cried for there was nothing else he could do.
Lightning struggled to bring Hope back to reality. To bring him back to her. He seemed so scared, so lost, that it was killing her. She grabbed onto his bare shoulders and tried to shake him awake but it seemed to only cause him to scream more. Taking his face in her hands, she called out to him again, receiving nothing but more pained cries. His hands were gripping the sheets as if they were his lifeline. Sweat dripped down his clammy skin and he was hot to the touch. "Hope! Hope!" He continued to cry out and she froze when she heard her name tumble from his lips. Again and again, he called out for her. Why couldn't she help him? He clearly wanted her help and she was trying. She was right by his side, attempting to soothe his pain. "Dammit Hope, c'mon. Wake up!" She put her hand on his exposed torso, ignoring the shiver that traveled down her spine at the contact, and tried to hold him still while her other hand remained cupping his cheek. "Please come back to me Hope", she whispered.
Hope jolted, quickly sitting up from the bed and threw a punch at her. Because of her soldier reflexes, she caught the fist before it reached her face. She was stunned that he would attempt to hit her but as she looked at him, the disoriented and dazed expression on his face, she knew he didn't think that it was her. Shock quickly overcame him surely as she saw him take her in.
He couldn't believe it. As his breathing slowed from its erratic state, he took in his surroundings and the person partially on top of him, holding his fist in her hand, inches from her face. He almost hit Lightning. "I'm so sorry." He pulled away from her, still trying to understand how he could have ever come that close to harming her.
Trying to meet his eyes through his silver locks, she kept her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow. "Are you okay?" Her concern over his state only grew as she watched him reach for his neck cautiously, as if he weren't sure what he would find.
Smiling as he sighed, his hand fell back to the bed. It was only a nightmare. He looked up to finally meet the young woman's eyes. And Light witnessed all of it. He must have put on quite a show for her eyes were filled with worry. "Yeah, I'm fine", he breathed out. Taking her hand from his chest in his own, he squeezed it, giving her that reassuring, warm gesture that had become the norm between them.
Lightning squeezed back as she shifted a bit. A blush crept over her cheeks as she noticed their rather compromising position. They were so close. She was straddling him and practically in his lap, her in her skin tight shorts and tank top, him in sweats with nothing covering his bare chest that glistened in the moonlight. This position had been necessary before when Hope was freaking out and Lightning had been trying to help him, but now...
Hope cleared his throat as she got off of him and sat beside him. He met her eyes again. "I'm really so-"
"No need."
"But I almost-"
The pinkette smirked. "Oh please, Estheim. Do you really think you could ever lay a hit on me?"
He chuckled and rubbed his neck, still finding it hard to believe that the event had only occurred in his head. "Yeah, I suppose not." Not that I ever thought I'd try. His eyes trailed off to the side as quiet took the room for a few moments. He found them widening though as he heard a harsh whisper.
"Only a nightmare? Are you sure?"
Seeing Hope tense and become visibly frightened, Lightning grabbed his arm. This caused them both to look at his arm and the brand under her palm. Their eyes stuck there a moment, looking at both the contact and the blue mark. All of this is happening because of this damn thing. Maker, why? Her thumb began to rub against the brand softly. "Hope?" She looked up to find his eyes staring into hers.
A sigh escaped him as he looked down to his arm with a bit of disgust. He still felt a bit of shame. Shame for getting taken. Shame for not being able to prevent the tattoo's reappearance. Shame for having to bring more chaos into their lives. Into her life. Her gentle caress over his skin soothed his mind though. "Yeah, Light?"
"Are you sure... I know we already talked about this, but are you sure you don't have some... kind of focus with this?" She continued to brush her hand against it as they sat there. "I mean, other than what those... monsters wanted you to do. You didn't have any sort of vision?"
Running his free hand over his face, he cringed a little at the memories of when he got his brand. "No, I didn't have a vision. And I'd know if I did. I still remember our one of Ragnarok clear as day. But no... I guess when your brand is forced back to the surface, you don't have to deal with the focus bullshit. Probably the reason for its odd color." Lightning let go and they both looked at it intently, as intently as they could with the moon streaming in through the windows being their only light source. But in the moonlight, his brand held a beautiful, breathtaking glow. "We should probably get back to sleep." He really didn't feel like going back to bed and experiencing another nightmare like that again, but he could at least pretend so Lightning could get some rest.
"Would you like me to..." She trailed off and stared down at the bed.
Hope caught on and smiled but shook his head. "That's all right. I'll be fine. Promise."
With this, Lightning nodded and stood. "I'm glad your okay", she whispered, before retreating out of his room and shutting the door. She felt uneasy with leaving him. The incident had shaken her much more than she would have liked and she couldn't seem to get his cries out of her head. Now the need to be near him and protect him had only strengthened. With this in mind, she sauntered off to her room, grabbed a pillow and some covers and made to spend the rest of her night on the couch in the family room just across the hall from Hope's bedroom.
Hope laid his head back down on his pillow. His body was still cooling down from before, so he kicked the covers away, welcoming the cool air of the room over his skin. Sleep would most likely be eluding him and his torturous mind for the rest of the night, but he continued to lie there. Flashes of his nightmare came to the forefront of his wandering thoughts and he pushed those away out of his mind as quickly as they'd entered. He didn't need to think about it. It had been less of a nightmare and more of a memory. A memory that he apparently couldn't vanquish if he tried.
And then he thought about the whispers that had invaded his mind. As if the memories and tormenting dreams weren't enough, he had to deal with Castea's voice lingering in his head. He knew the voice wasn't real – just a product of his imagination and the traumatic events he'd been through. Castea was dead afterall. He'd watched her body hit the stone wall of the Ark and heard her neck snap against it. She hadn't moved or even twitched after that. Her eyes even screamed death when he'd chanced a glance at her while escaping.
And it had only been him that had heard it. Lightning had been sitting right in front of him when Castea's voice had whispered to him yet again. The voice's presence had been nonexistent to her.
And then there's that... Lightning would only worry for him more now. This... event would cause her to not only fret about his health and safety more, but to inquire more about his time in the Ark. She asked him so many times already. Lightning was careful to not be too pushy but he could tell how badly she wanted to know. He would never tell her of course. She already blamed herself for his abduction and subsequent captivity and torture. What good would knowing the details do her?
A part of him knew though that that wasn't the only reason he was being so tight lipped. He was also too embarrassed and far too ashamed. He hadn't been strong enough to stop his attackers. All he had been was a worthless victim. The only way he had even escaped was with Alexander. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't shown up. I'd probably be dead or their puppet. Lightning still thinks of me as the little kid she has to protect. I've tried so hard to be stronger to protect the ones I love. All I seem to do is put them in danger and get them killed. No matter what... I'm too weak. And if I tell her... she'll know just how weak I really am.
Hope knew he shouldn't have agreed to have her as his guard. Having her protecting him, not only highlighted the fact that he was weak and needed protection, but put her in danger. Sure Castea, Sebastian and Barsilisk were gone, and many others they'd disposed of while escaping, but that did not guarantee there weren't others. Plus there were the apparently frequent assassination attempts from Sanctum City to think about. If he ended up losing Lightning the way he lost his father...
Squeezing his eyes shut, the young man tried to calm the rapidly growing nausea that thought had conjured up. He had already lived years without the soldier. Five years without Lightning by his side had been an experience he'd never wanted to endure again. Only this time, there would be no possibility of her coming back. He would have to live the rest of his life without her stunning, rare smile. Her soft, yet calloused hands. Her dry humor. Her ferocious battle skills. Her marvelous strength. Without her heart. That was and would be the most devastating piece of Lightning Farron to lose. Her heart that was so caring and kind even though she tried to keep it protected behind a stoic mask and an ice cold glare. He knew he could never do it. Live a life without the person he admired the most. Without the woman who eased his fears so quickly. Without the woman whom he considered his best friend. Without the woman who he had come to love.
Turning his body on its side, Hope found himself staring at his door for the rest of the night, thinking about the soldier who lied a ways beyond it.