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Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel. I own Addison Carter.

RATED M

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Avengers Compound, New York, December 2015

I locked myself in my room, leaving it at night when everybody else was asleep to get food. The twins tried to talk to me through the door. Vision just phased through the wall.

He knew better than to stay in my room with one glare.

Be it Natasha, Sam, Rhodey, or Tony and Pepper on the phone, I didn't move.

"Come on, stop chickening out!" I heard Sam saying in the hallway. He seemed exasperated.

"But what if she..."

"You're the only one who didn't even try and you're probably the only one who can make her leave her room!"

"How can you..."

"Because you were the only one mad at her!" They stopped in front of my door.

I opened it with a flick of my hand. Sam and Steve turned to look at me.

"It's already more than what he got," Sam told Steve before walking away. Steve stood awkwardly at my door.

"Can I come in?"

"I opened the door, didn't I?" He entered and closed it behind him.

"Yes, of course it…" He pursed his lips and sat at the end of my bed. I stared at him. "How are you doing?" I shrugged.

"He left and I'm heartbroken, there's nothing more to say about this Steve." He didn't seem convinced. "I don't...want to talk about it."

"Sam...he told me you told him you had someone to help you after Sokovia." I looked at the window. "It was Bucky, wasn't it? You helped him but suddenly he was the one helping you." I smirked bitterly.

"Yet he left when I told him…he knows all of my traumas. Professor Xavier said that I could help him because I went through some...similar things in a way." I bit my bottom lip. "Now I feel so stupid."

"You're not stupid Addison," Steve refuted, shaking his head. "You've helped him and believed in him when he didn't. There's nothing stupid with that."

"I thought you…"

"I was mad because I was left in the dark, not...not because you helped Buck. If anything, I'm thankful for that. When I saw him...he wasn't the Bucky I knew, but it was not the Winter Soldier either."

"I don't think the Bucky you knew will ever come back Steve," I whispered to him. He smiled faintly.

"I don't think the Steve of the war will ever come back either." There was a short pause. "I never thanked you for helping him, did I?"

"I had my own reasons for doing it."

"Still, thank you." I bit my bottom lip.

"He's gone Steve, I…" I put my hands on my face. "I just don't understand why...what did I do wrong?"

"Hey, don't start thinking that Addison." He pulled my hands away from my face, a serious gaze on his face. "I don't know why he left, but I'm sure it's not anything you did. There must be something else."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because of the way he looked at you." I furrowed my brows. "I may not know the man he is now, but I can assure you he cares about you."

"You think?" I asked him in a small voice. He nodded firmly.

"I'm sure." I sniffed and after a few seconds, I nodded.

"I'll believe you."

"Good." He looked around us. "Do...do you want to do something?" I shot my TV a look.

"Go get ice cream tubs and spoons." He looked confused but did.

I made him watch sappy movies with me, eating ice creams. He seemed vaguely annoyed at first but ended up involved in each movie.

It wasn't half bad.

January 2016, Avengers Compound

I shot Sam a look. He looked back at me and nodded whereas Steve was innocently drawing in the kitchen area. Sam pointed at the speakers on the walls and I stretched out a finger at one of them to turn it on, connecting my phone to it.

Steve dropped his notebook suddenly and tried to make a run for it. I slowed him down, enough for Sam to restrain him.

"Sam, don't make me hurt you!"

"I'm willing to take the risk!" I pressed the play button.

"'When Captain America throws his mighty shield~, All of those who chose to oppose his shield must yield! If he's left to a fight and a duel is due, then the red and the white and the blue'll come through! When Captain America throws his mighty shield~'" I was moving my head around at the sound, making sure Steve wouldn't throw Sam in a wall or something. Steve threw his head back with a defeated whine.

"When will you two stop with that song?"

"It's a part of your story Steve, stop ignoring it," Sam reminded him.

"I have to go." He started to struggle. "I'm serious, I have a...work meeting." I raised a brow and released him, like Sam.

"In the city?" He nodded. "Care to give me a lift? I wanted to do some shopping." He seemed unsure and I furrowed my brows.

"Sure, why not. Be ready in twenty minutes."

I slowly found my place in the Compound. At first, everyone was wary of how I was, but Natasha pulled me in a fight during training and it was good. Apparently, I needed to show I...wanted to be better and that they didn't need to treat me like a kid.

Natasha and Steve were training all of us, even myself in spite of being the one who had been on the team for the longest after them. Steve was even more adamant than before about training me with me not using my powers. Natasha was as well, but more as in she wanted to improve to the maximum what James had taught me, meaning fire arms and knives.

It was harsh but what I needed to get everything off my chest regarding James, the sadness, the pain, the anger that came afterward, everything came out. It also allowed us to see how much my...powers were evolving.

Steve had suspected something and asked me to lift something heavy, telling me it was not and I did. It was confirmed when I held my own against him in hand-to-hand combat, receiving a few blows without going down and punching him hard enough to make him step back.

It was...a form of adaptability. I was in a particular situation and my mind thought of how I could counter it and it would happen. I could only do it on me and not really consciously but...it was there. Thor did say I was touched by an energy blast from the Reality Stone and if that stone honored its name then...it would explain it.

While training with the twins, I would train my powers and my control over black matter, or more like dark matter, to see the extend of it. Much like Wanda's powers which kept evolving, and sometimes I would wonder what were the limits, mine kept evolving. I could generate it and turn it into various form of various solidity with various characteristics for a limited amount of time. However, as time went by, I needed to use less and less the materials I had on me. I wouldn't say 'no' to some adamantium though. Basically, I had dark matter construct, generation and solidification so far.

Doctor Selvig told me, after studying how I was doing it, that I was pulling matter from around me with my telekinesis and turning it into visible dark matter. Selvig even told me it was pretty similar to what Thor described that Malekith could do.

Sometimes, I would scare myself wondering when these powers would stop, wondering how much the Reality Stone had impacted my mutant powers. I mean...they were pretty regular powers. If trained well it could be deadly, had been already, but pretty regular.

There was no news regarding James. I'd talk to Tony regularly even if he had not come in a few weeks.

I had found a good rhythm here though. Actually, I'd spend quite some time with the twins outside of training and missions too. We became good friends, Wanda's powers and my own being quite similar making it easier to bond I guess. I was friends with Pietro as well and told him there would be nothing more than friendship between, to which he cockily replied with a 'for now'.

Then there was Vision, literally the youngest of us all with an Infinity Stone in his forehead. He was learning about his powers as well so he pretty much was like us.

"I will be there for a while, just call me once you're done," Steve told me as he parked his bike behind a skyscraper. I looked at the building as I went down.

"What business do you have here?" He seemed...uncomfortable.

"Just work. Captain America work, not Avengers."

"You seem weird."

"Well…it just brings back memories." We parted ways on these words and I headed to Queens.

I was going to the Queens Public Library. I had my Bachelor in History, against all odds with the circumstances I had at the end of my fourth year, aka joining the Avengers. I had nailed my European mythology exam and if I wasn't busy with the superhero stuff, I'd probably go for more.

Back in the days, Grandpa used to take me to this library to find stuff about France, he cared about me knowing about my origins, and Europe as a whole and I got lost more than once.

Not long after I exited the train, something weird happened. Something flew right next to me and stopped a car from crashing in a bus. I blinked at it in shock, watching the guy in the red and blue suit helping the man out of his car. I approached them.

"Hey, is everything alright there?" They looked at me.

"Oh God!" a boy's voice almost shrieked before he cleared up his throat. "I mean, yes, thanks for asking."

"I'm...fine...thanks again," the man said to the boy. I looked at him.

"Who're you?"

"I'm...Spider-Man." I raised a brow. "I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man." I smiled.

"Well good job Spider-Man, keep up the good work."

I still called the cops to tell them about the accident and waited for them to arrive, the kid leaving. Once that done, I finally reached the library. I went to the Central Library first, putting books in my bag, before going to the International Resource Center. I went to the Gaelic section.

There was a gasp in my back in a turned around. I looked at the two teenagers in front of me.

"Is she really…"

"Yes, yes she is Ned," the other one replied. I cleared my throat.

"She can hear you," I told them. They both paled.

"Sorry," the other apologized.

"We're big fans. Of the whole group."

"Thanks. On behalf of the whole group."

"I'm Ned, that's Peter." Peter raised his hand at me, clearly uncomfortable.

"You okay there?"

"Yes, I'm fine." His voice was familiar. "It...it's just weird to see an Avenger here."

"An Avenger can't go to a public library?"

"No, it's not…" he tried to say. "I...I just thought you guys had everything at your disposal." I shrugged.

"We don't have the environment that comes with it. I like this library."

"You came here before?" Ned asked me.

"Here, New York Public Library, Brooklyn Public Library as well. I grew up in Staten Island."

"You're a New Yorker as well?" Ned asked me in awe.

"No, still British by birth."

"Oh right, you're Peggy Carter's granddaughter! She's so cool in History classes." I smiled, but it was more strained. It was weird to know Grandma was talked about in classes. "Captain America too. Is it weird to know him now? Is he your grandfather?" Peter elbowed him with wide, stunned eyes. I snickered.

"God I hope not." I grabbed a book. "Anyway, nice meeting you kids, bye."

Steve was nowhere to be seen when I was back at his bike. I looked at the building and entered it. The receptionist barely saw me that she called someone to lead me to where Steve was.

What was not my surprise when I was on a filming floor.

"So your body is changing. Believe me, I know how that feels." I pressed my hand against my mouth to muffle a laugh. Steve was in his old Captain America suit with the hat on, shooting...PSAs? "How many more of these?"

Were the memories he mentioned was him touring in his early days as Captain America?

"What are you doing here?" I couldn't control my laughter at Steve's just defeated face when he was in front of me.

"I...I can't…" I stuttered between two fits of laughter. He frowned, staring at me, annoyed. "It's precious!"

"Are you done?" I leaned against the wall and he folded his arms. I swear he was going to tap his foot against the floor soon.

"I...I'm done…" I wiped a tear from my eye. "Please tell me you had a sex-ed one." The blush on his cheeks was only half hidden by the mask.

He made me promise to keep it to myself. I did.

Still, I pitied the people who would have to watch these videos. Steve was so awkward in them.

February 2016, Bucharest

Four months. He had fled America four months ago in the middle of the night, writing a short note. Bucky pulled a few bills from his pockets, counting how much he had made today. Enough for completing this month's rent and buying some food.

He had grown too used to the comfort there was with…

He stopped counting, his eyes glued to the dirty bills. Addison told him many times it was not even her money she was using, but the one Tony Stark had put on her bank account. She was taking care of the rest though.

Dropping the money on the table, he pulled the notebook from inside his jacket. Between pages were four pictures taken in a photo booth at that fair the year before. His thumb ran over the smiling face of the woman with him. He looked so out of place on the picture.

Was it wrong of him to miss her when he left her after taking her virginity? He knew she would be there ever since HYDRA fell but now, he ran away and was completely alone. He doubted she would welcome him as if nothing had happened. Maybe she hated him for leaving her without a word. In a way, it would be for the best.

He would handle this better than Addison hating him because he killed her parents.

He made love to her, making sure that she enjoyed every second of it and then they fell asleep, her in his arms. Almost as if getting so close to her was a trigger, he had another memory coming back in the form of a dream. The Winter Soldier was in London, getting inside a house. The man tried to fight back but was dead in a matter of seconds. The woman locked eyes with him when he had her neck in his hand, her eyes glowing briefly and her voice like digging in his brain.

You will protect Addison Carter with your life. She is the most important mission you will ever have.

Then he snapped her neck. He stayed for longer than he should have outside a room. When he heard his superior calling him back, he waited until he heard people coming to the house and left it. He stayed on a nearby roof, watching SHIELD inspecting the scene. Ultimately, a man came out of it, holding a traumatized little girl. It had been the cue the Soldier needed to leave.

He had woken up, drenched in sweat and panting hard. His eyes had set on the sleeping form next to him, face buried in her pillow. Horror of what he had done to her dawned on him and he decided to leave without saying a word. Addison had been through hell but if her parents had lived then…

It was his fault.

The way her youth had been destroyed was his fault. HYDRA may have ordered David and Victoria Carter's death because SHIELD had grown suspicious that David was hiding something from them, but it was his hands that took their lives. In a way, having fallen in love with her and remembering what he had done was a great way to torture him for his actions.

He had killed David, Peggy's son. He did not remember the woman well, except that the color red seemed to follow her. He remembered killing Howard and his wife when he had shared drinks with the man during the war.

Yet, their descendants had been the ones to help him, directly and indirectly.

It was twisted. He didn't deserve any of it. He may have hurt Addison, may have broken the promise he made to her, but she would get over it. She was young and had her whole life in front of her. Even if his heart would pound painfully in his chest and his guts would twist in knots when he would think about it, she would move on and find someone else.

He hated to think about it but she could...would do much better than him. She deserved better than him.

He didn't deserve her, or Stark trying to get him lawyers like Addison told him, or even Steve desperately trying to help him.

Staying here, alone and far from anyone, staying in the shadows was the best thing he could do for anyone.

February 2016, Avengers Compound

I gaped at the TV in the kitchen.

"A multi-car collision turned shots fired on the crosstown expressway this morning. Gridlock has kept police from the scene. Residents are advised to remain in their homes. The assailant appears to be armed, dangerous and wearing a red suit." I pinched the bridge of my nose, Steve's and Sam's eyes turning to me.

"Didn't you say your 'friend' had a…" Sam started but I raised my finger at him.

"Yeah yeah, I know."

"Addison, I know that he went through a lot but he's causing massive…"

"Steve please, I'll take care of it. And the people he killed? Not good people."

"It doesn't mean they should be killed."

"Whatever," I said, waving that off. "And anyway, it's more mutant business than anything."

"No offense, but your friends don't seem to be handling the situation very well."

"That's...yeah, I can't deny that," I admitted to Sam. "Please don't get involved. I'll go. If you do, he'll fight against the Avengers while fangirling over you Steve." Cap raised a brow. "He's a big fan. Just...trust me on this?" Ever since he discovered I had hidden James, Steve had been more than recalcitrant to let me do my own thing without telling him or Nat to get clearance first. This was serious business, I knew it from the way his eyes were staring at me sternly, hoping to make me give up, or how his nostrils flared in frustration.

Damn, I knew the guy pretty well.

He sighed in resignation when he realized I wouldn't drop it.

"Don't make me regret it." I grinned at him and Sam cleared his throat.

"Seriously? Didn't the guy go through experimentation or something? Is he…"

"He won't attack me Sam, he's more likely to listen to me than any of you."

"How can you be so sure of that?" I locked eyes with Falcon.

"Because I know him. He didn't hesitate to put himself at risk and in the eyes of SHIELD to help me, so I'm taking care of this. The guy he is tracking can give me a lead on all of the labs in NYC, I have to go."

"Keep Deadpool from killing that man then," Steve told me. I nodded.

"See you."

However, when I got on the scene, it was to see Piotr with a teenager and…

"Oh God, did he cut his own hand and gave you the finger?" I asked my old friend.

"Addison, Deadpool needs to be dealt with," Piotr replied with his thick Russian accent. He handed the hand to me and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Could you not…?" I looked at the teenager. "Let me guess. Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Colossus'...student?" She raised an unimpressed brow.

"You're the Avenger one?" I nodded. "Boring."

"Well, teens can really hurt your feelings," I told Colossus, looking at him. "Look, sorry for the mess, I'll...find Wade."

"And convince him to stop." I rolled my eyes.

"I swear you sound like Cap."

"I'll take that as a compliment." They went back on the Blackbird and I quickly left the scene as well before anyone could recognize me.

I didn't want to deal with the D.M.C, the Department of Mutant Correction. Not today. I mean...I knew some mutants were dangerous and wanted to wreak havoc and I knew there was a utility to this department but…

I didn't like it.

Anyway, now I had to find Wade.

I went back to the Avenger Tower to have some peace. Tony was thinking about selling it but until then...it was a safe place. I dialed Wade's phone.

"How's my favorite Avenger?"

"Cut the crap, we both know I'm not." I sighed when he snickered. "I thought we agreed on you being discreet, yet today I saw your work on the news."

"I had that motherfucker Francis Addison, I wasn't going to give him a chance to slip through my fingers again!" I pursed my lips.

"Wade."

"What?"

"He escaped, didn't he?" There was a silence on the line.

"If I hadn't been interrupted by Silver Balls I would have had his head on my sword, okay!?" I sighed.

"So now he knows you're alive?" There was a grunt. "Where you at?"

"No offense, but I don't really want to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because. You're helping me on this one."

"It doesn't sound like a question."

"Because it's not Addidi. I want to kill that bastard and you need answers to know who's above him. Two birds one stone and you an I are back in the game as a team. You're less fun than before now you're with that boy band." I rolled my eyes, not that he could see me.

"Alright fine, I'll help you. I wasn't going to leave you on your own after what you pulled today anyway. Just know you're very close to have the Avengers after you. If you think Colossus' lectures are bad you never had one from Steve."

"Well, I wouldn't say no."

"Anyway, he let me handle the situation if Francis is taken alive at the end."

"What!?" I pulled the phone away from my ear. "That's not fair! What about the list I made about what I want to do to that shithead before I kill him!?"

"Didn't you tell me he couldn't feel pain?"

"It's the thought that matters. Look, right now I'm missing a hand but it should be good by tomorrow so track down Francis for me."

"Lead?"

"He's a bad guy Addie, look for a closed down factory or something! Or one of their old lairs I destroyed."

"I'll start with that, keep me updated if you learn anything."

"Got it. Let's make Weasel's bar our meeting point. Just hide your identity."

"Sure thing. Bye." I hang up and left the Tower.

Time to work Carter.

Thank you all for reading! Don't hesitate to leave a review! Thanks to RoseHawthorne24 for the review!

Bye!