A/N: I so thought no one was going to read those chapters. Thank you for the feedback, guys! I'm pleasantly surprised at how many of you read and reviewed them! You all are so good to me.
Well, we're back to our little gang here. And maybe with a new addition…? Hope you enjoy and review!
Reviewers:
Guest – Super happy you liked them. Thank you! I will be getting back to some of my other stories soon. I do have some sort of schedule for when I hope to post them, but life likes to knock that all outta whack.
H-thar – She returns! Great to hear from you again. Nice theory. Is Barsilisk truly the evil monster that turned Castea cold? Or was it all manipulated by Belphagor from behind the scenes? I would love to comment on your speculations, but we wouldn't want to ruin the suspense, would we?
slr819 (2) – Not gonna lie, it was pretty tough making Castea into some docile creature, but it all came out well in the end. When I started writing it, I didn't think it was going to work out, either. It took so much willpower to not just throw my hands up and throw the chapters out completely. That's how horrible I felt about them while I was writing them. Thank you so much for reading them and thank you so much for your kind words. And, yeah, Cecily kind of deserved it. But maybe not the death part…
AverialVi – Thank you! That was part of the reason why I made the backstory chapters. I wanted people to have a better understanding of my villains and their motivations. While I'm not much of a fan of Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, I must say that it did a good job of showing that anyone can become capable of killing when put under the right amount of emotional or mental strain. I wish you luck with your fic!
NightwyngN52 (2) – Interesting how some background information can change your opinion of a character, huh? Hopefully it at least served to give my antagonists some dimension. They aren't just evil for the sake of being evil. This was my way of showing some of the more human qualities these characters have hidden within them.
sarocha han – Thank you! Yeah, I made Castea's life kind of brutal. It's not an excuse for her cruelty, but I'm glad it made sense. I was worried she would seem too ooc, even if she is an OC, anyway :P
Daaku Urufu – I'm not the only one that has dreams involving FFXIII characters! I was beginning to think I was obsessed or something… Interesting coincidence. And thank you so much for giving her chapters a chance!
A Better Day – It wasn't my intention to make you pity her, but if it happens… Sorry, not sorry :D No, trust me, you are not the only one that has that opinion. Castea is still an evil bitch. She has a bad past, but that doesn't excuse what she's done.
Her thoughts settled back into the present, the stress of a few lifetimes creasing her expression. She brought her eyes up to her sister, seeing an expression of pity that was entirely unwelcome.
"If I'd known-"
"You would have what?" Castea hissed. She didn't want to hear any of her apologies or excuses. She was far past any desire to reconcile her relationship with her sister or mend the damage that had been done. Even if she was interested, nothing she had to say could make the renewed pain gnawing at her insides go away. "If he'd been a better man would that have lessened your offense?" Cecily's mouth snapped shut and she smirked back at the girl.
Her eyes looked Cecily over once more as they lapsed into a short silence. Despite having been dead for hundreds of years, she looked as beautiful and full of life as ever. Her eyes were a crystalline blue, the tears only highlighting their allure. Her golden curls were radiant, surrounding a face that spoke of a timeless attractiveness. Her skin was unblemished, free of any marks as it told of a life sheltered from any harsh truths, much unlike her own. Castea's smirk soon disappeared as her face fell into an annoyed scowl. "What are you doing here? I-"
"Killed me?" Cecily's own smile formed on her face as it was Castea's turn to be shamed into silence. "Does my presence lessen your offense?" she countered.
Castea could feel an old wound tear itself open. The regret she'd buried with her past self had reawakened with her sister, it seemed. There had been times in the past where she'd wondered what it would have been like if she'd let her sister live. If she'd just allowed that small amount of untarnished light to remain in her life. But light didn't linger in the dark depths she was descending into. She didn't need it. She would get it all back once she finally won.
Which brought her back to the question. Why was Cecily here now?
"You're falling apart, Sis," Cecily replied, as if privy to her thoughts. "I'm here to mend the seams. I stand here as a reminder of what you've come from." Her sister came to stand in front of her. She leaned out of reach as Cecily went to touch her, but the girl was determined. Her fingers pet her hair, each digit gently gliding along every white strand that was maintained short and slicked back. They strayed down to feel around her grey eyes that had grown dark like storming skies. One thumb brushed along her injury, teasing the ruined flesh. "Who are you now? You've abandoned your true identity almost completely..."
She sounded disappointed, and Castea squashed down the feelings of insecurity that lone sentence inspired within her. She smacked her sister's hands away, stepping out of reach of that innocent touch. "Once I took over, I made sure nothing would get in my way. I took out everything in my path. I became stronger." Yes, and I don't regret it. You can't make me regret it. I won't let you. She took out kingdoms and nations, burned down villages and tribes. Any person that didn't pledge their life to her lost it to her blade. She became a name worth fearing, until she became fear itself. "Then the War of Transgression came. Belphagor said it wasn't our time; other fal'Cies were making their move. We vanished, went so far underground that no one could find us and then went to sleep."
Why they didn't participate in the war, she didn't know. She'd questioned Belphegor once. Asked why they couldn't assert their dominance and take on such an easy task. It would just be another step towards his goal of a new world. But he was adamant that they remain hidden. He shared no explanation, no further words of guidance. He simply handed down the order, and she'd obeyed like the good little l'Cie she was.
"When it came time, he woke us up, told us that there was a child, the key to the future we were to create. That was all I needed to hear. I adopted my surname and abandoned my kingdom of origin." She walked back over to her reflection and felt no shame as she looked into it this time. "I became the monster that got things done."
"At what cost?" Cecily's pitying expression wouldn't relent and she felt the need to smack it off of her precious, little face.
"Lady Hidon?" Sebastian's call entered the room before he did. He waited obediently before entering, as always. Cecily put a finger to her lips as Castea called him inside.
"What is it?"
Sebastian walked in, but his gait faltered as he took Castea in for the first time since they'd left. "You're… face…"
Castea pursed her lips. She didn't know if it was agitation, embarrassment, or humiliation that she felt more in that moment. "It's a permanent part of my features, for now. That a problem?"
He was quiet for a while, his face falling as a deep frown marred his features. He looked devastated and she could guess why. It had been a long time since he had seen her take any lasting damage, and never such a galling scar. She could see a silent sorrow and rage simmering behind his eyes, the same look he used to give her when he'd witness her sporting another penalty from her husband. "No. No, of course not."
"You came to brief me, correct?" she asked, her expectant gaze quickly turning impatient.
He gave himself a slight shake, stepping back into his duties. "The group is still heading towards Lindzei's crystal, but they have a tail."
Castea cocked an intrigued brow. "Continue."
"They've stepped into the Heraldin Tribe's territory. Their chief has already sent out some scouts and fighters to collect them."
"Interesting. I wonder if it will be Hope's negotiation skills or Lightning's combat abilities that get them out of this one."
"That's not all," Sebastian said as he came in closer. "This tribe. It's the one the boy attached himself to. He's one of the ones that's trailing them, as we speak."
"Hmm. Maybe this way he can be of use to us…" Castea couldn't say that she was pleased with the change of events, but their hopes of utilizing the boy's history with Zalera had not yet been dashed. She looked over her shoulder towards Cecily, more than perturbed as she felt her penetrating stare. Her gaze was sharp, but it wasn't directed towards her. Her sister was looking at Sebastian, her eyes observing his movements, as if she were evaluating his entire demeanor. She was about to comment on it, but remembered Cecily's gesture from before. A bout of curiosity stirred in her mind as she turned back to her underling. Cecily's presence didn't seem to faze him. A more accurate statement would have been that he didn't seem aware of her presence at all. "Keep me updated, Sebastian."
The man bowed and left without another word. Castea refocused her attention back onto the irritant within the room. Cecily looked like she was about to crack from heartache.
"What have you done to him? He always had such a beautiful soul. Now it's-"
"He can't see you, can he?" She asked, stepping around the girl to see if she was truly there in the room with her. Her touch had felt real enough, but Sebastian hadn't noticed her despite her form being within sight. He wouldn't have ignored her. No, if he'd seen Cecily he would have reacted. "Nobody can, but me. Why do I get to be so damn special?" she bit out.
Cecily only gazed back at her, face now forming into a sweet smile. She wanted to gag at the pure, doe-eyed look she'd perfected.
Castea drew her fingers up to massage between her eyes. "I must be going crazy if I'm conjuring up dead people out of thin air. Or maybe you're just a figment of my imagination?" She let out a beleaguered breath. "No, if that was it, I would have done away with you long ago."
"Whether I'm a spirit or a projection of your mind, it doesn't matter. I'm here because you need me." Cecily strode up to her and hugged her, a glee-filled hum slipping passed her lips as she did so. "And here I'll stay."
"You all mind if we rest a bit?" Sazh called out from his place behind the group. He'd been lagging for a good half-hour, his joints on the verge of locking up and his feet hounding him for some peace. "I feel like we've been walking for centuries. My pups could use a break."
Lightning halted them all quickly as she turned back to face him. "It's only been two days." Her response was far terser than she'd intended, but she could attribute that to the lingering effects of their time in Pulse's Castle.
"Yeah, well. Two days without much rest is enough for me."
Zalera put an impatient hand on her hip, but a smile of amusement lightened her features. "I thought we were trying to make it there within ten days."
"Maybe we should relax that schedule," Hope chimed in, looking towards the green-haired woman.
"Really now?"
He gave an unapologetic smile. "Sorry. We just aren't built like you guys."
Lightning and Zalera both turned towards each other, sharing a look. "Men," they said, perfectly in sync.
"Such babies," Zalera continued.
Hope and Sazh both laughed at the comment. "Hey, now," Hope defended. "No need to go into the gender debate. Let's just settle it on the basis of training and upbringing, okay?"
"Still babies."
The pilot pushed a tired hand through his hair. "How do I always end up with a bunch of headstrong young'uns?"
Hope shook his head as Sazh let out a weary sigh beside him. As easy as it seemed to have come back to them, this had been the first time that the group had managed to get back into their usual rapport since the few days before. A harsh, overbearing silence slunk into their company as they made their trek to the next crystal. It wasn't welcome, and none of them seemed to enjoy it. Each of them had tried to lighten the mood, but none of it had stuck. This seemed to be just another one of those times as all of them fell back into the arms of that same dour atmosphere they couldn't let go of.
They decided to rest after a bit more ribbing from the female half of their team. Sazh came over to him after a while, thanking him for pretending to be winded for his sake. Hope just nodded, though his decision to stall the team hadn't been completely for the elder man's well-being. Hope just wasn't sure what to do anymore. His mind was so jumbled that he could hardly figure out which way was up, almost as if he were caught in a drunken stupor. He felt so haggard and delirious that even walking in a straight line began to feel like a struggle. His mind was caught in a haze of thoughts and his emotions didn't know what to do with them.
Was he supposed to feel happy? Happy that his team was safe? Happy that he had survived? Happy that he'd walked away victorious? Hope grimaced at the thought. He had by no means won in his little battle with Castea, even if he had managed to walk away unscathed. Her face popped into his mind, all scarred and disfigured, and he blinked it away as he stared down at his hands. He flexed them in his lap, watching the skin stretch over his palms and as the veins surfaced closer to the skin. His gaze traveled over all of the creases and toughened calluses until he couldn't look at them anymore. He couldn't recognize them. His hands no longer felt like his own. They hadn't in a long while.
He wasn't sure if they even felt human.
The same could be said for the rest of him, he supposed. Whatever the crystal was doing inside of him, he couldn't truly know, though he could feel it stirring every now and again. The energy would pulse before he could feel a new fire burning its way into his veins and settling into his brand. The same thing would happen shortly after, but in reverse. It was like a circuit. The brand and the crystal were feeding off of each other in a silent match, as if only one could win the power if it held on long enough, if it was strong enough. He didn't know which one he should have been rooting for.
He directed his mind away from thoughts of the crystal, though it landed into more uncomfortable territory. "Didn't she tell you? She knows…" Castea's words were still buzzing around in his head, bouncing around every nook and cranny of his skull until they came alive, forcing him to recall every moment of his time in the Ark. Only this time it was like he was outside of himself, watching it all happen. It was easy to tell whose perspective he was seeing it from.
His gaze fell onto Lightning's form from across the fire. She was staring at him again, her mind whirring with all of the concern he could see reflected in those blues eyes. She refused to look away, unashamed that he'd caught her, but Hope dropped his gaze quickly enough that she didn't need to. He couldn't face her. He couldn't deal with her right now. He suspected that Lightning knew that, and that was why she had yet to approach him, but it was coming. She wouldn't let him run away from her for very long.
His mind kept going around and around at a dizzying speed until he allowed himself to succumb to the fatigue weighing him down. He wasn't going to figure anything out by working himself up. He had to let things unfold as they were. As Sazh had said, they'd chosen this path. He just had to keep walking.
Lightning watched Hope as he settled back into a log and closed his eyes. She waited until his breathing slowed, his features softening as all of the hard emotions melted away. Only when she was sure that he was asleep did she let out a sigh of exhaustion. She let her guard down for a few brief moments as she reoriented herself. The past two days had been hell. Between the mountain monsters, the Pulsian disciples, and Castea, Lightning had been drawn into a constant state of paranoia. She couldn't shake the feeling that Hope was going to be snatched up so suddenly, so quickly, that she wouldn't even notice he was missing until it was too late. Worse were her thoughts about the crystal and his brand consuming him. She hadn't liked how winded he was on the mountain, how pained he seemed after using magic he had once enjoyed. Seeing him puke up his guts after the crystal had been introduced into his body only served to further put her on edge.
Hope was struggling. In more ways than one, she knew, but she couldn't help him. Even if she knew how to, he didn't appear to want her help. He'd taken snippets of advice and little words of sympathy and gratitude from Zalera and Sazh easily enough, but whenever she tried to speak to him, she was met with an empty smile or a silent shrug. He didn't wish to speak with her. The realization only caused her to become more frustrated with herself.
"Not looking so hot there, Firefly." Lightning stiffened at the nickname before giving Zalera a flat stare as she approached. "How have you been holding up since the last couple of fights?"
"I'm fine. My body can handle whatever those ass holes throw at me."
"I know that. I wasn't really referring to those."
Lightning lifted a confused brow until she noticed that the woman was looking at the slumbering silveret. The fact that Zalera felt the need to check up on her after hers and Hope's spat just caused her agitation to rise. "Mind your own business."
Surprised by the gruff brush off, the older woman gave her a look of disbelief. "This is my business. You don't think that having you two standing at odds could put us at risk?"
Lightning's eyes widened and she floundered for a reply, but Zalera wasn't done.
"We need solidarity, here." Zalera thought back to all of the fighting and quarreling, all of the unnecessary words spoken and the unresolved issues. The tension in the air was so thick she felt like she was damn near choking on it. "If we're going to survive this, we have to be a team that works like one cohesive unit. You and Hope-" She glanced down at her boots, licking her lips as she thought of how to complete that sentence. "You have a lot to deal with. I get that. But if you both are too preoccupied with your fight and keep avoiding the real problem, you could get us all killed. And that, Lightning, is definitely my business."
Zalera stormed off, not even allowing her a word in edge-wise. As much as Lightning hated to admit it, she knew the woman was right. Hope had run off into a trap over what she had said about Snow. Her own feelings led her into a battle with Sebastian that had nearly cost her her own life. The two of them had faced enough repercussions, she didn't want to even imagine how Sazh and Zalera were being affected.
Her strained gaze fell back onto Hope. His serene expression calmed her storming thoughts, but she knew better than to trust such a temporary reprieve. She took a deep, fortifying breath, and decided to clear the air when he awoke.
Zalera stirred from her place on the ground. Roused from sleep in the dead of night, she went to shift into a better position before she stiffened at the presence of someone standing over her. Without allowing a second to pass, Zalera grabbed her chakram from its place at her side. She raised it as she sat up, ready to strike down her opponent, only to freeze as she found out who it was. "Lightning," she breathed in an exhale of relief. "What are you doing there? I could have just taken you out at the knees, you realize?" But the soldier wasn't listening. She stood there, her muscles taut with what appeared to be suspicion and anticipation. "Ligh-"
"Shh!" Lightning closed her eyes, her ears open to the sounds surrounding them. She listened to the cold wind as it slithered through the rustling leaves, to the fire as it crackled and sputtered, and to the light chirps of the crickets that wandered the grasslands. She honed her senses to the breathing of her teammates, listening to the short, shallow breaths coming from Zalera, and to the deep and relaxed respiration of Hope and Sazh. Her heart pounded in alarm as her perceptive hearing caught the very slight, almost silent breathing of a fifth person in their midst.
Whoever it was wasn't alone. As soon as she caught it, she could hear the tell-tale signs of others. They weren't as close, but they were there, all coming in to quietly surround and ambush them. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed them sooner, although it wasn't a completely shocking turn of events. They were surrounded by trees and brush. Protected by the cover of night and the dense brush around them, it wasn't surprising that their approach had gone undetected thus far.
She opened her eyes as her hand moved slowly towards the hilt of her gunblade. "Zalera," Lightning said quietly.
"I know." She brought her own weapons up and stood, soon walking out just past their little campsite. She nodded towards the other woman before her gaze turned sharply toward a nearby tree. She could sense the intruder, too. The person was incredibly skilled at hiding themselves amongst the branches, but there were some traces of oneself that a person just couldn't hide from people like her and Lightning. She took a breath before she quickly threw out her chakram towards the presence. It spiraled in the air and cut its way through the branches, soon disappearing from sight. She could hear the person scramble out of its way and saw as a blur of purple passed into another tree before she heard the deep thunk of her weapon striking the trunk.
She listened as their breathing quickened into sharp, shattered breaths. They sounded startled, but hardly scared. She readied herself to throw her other chakram, but a voice stopped her.
"It's been a long time since I was on the receiving end of one of your attacks, Zalera."
Hope and Sazh finally began to stir, but Lightning quieted them. She came to stand in front of them, shielding them as they collected themselves and their own weapons.
A green brow rose in intrigue. By the very masculine tone, she could at least tell that it was a man, and a young one, at that. A young man that she apparently knew. Something about his voice spoke to the very depths of her memory, but his identity remained out of reach. "We've faced each other before?"
"Many times. I should have put my sword through you, back then."
"Big words for someone still in hiding. Why don't you come on out and we'll see if you're more than just talk?"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked, voice thick with unrestrained scorn. "Get rid of me once for all?"
Before her mind could fully process that statement, the others emerged from the surrounding brush. At least six Pulsian fighters stood around them, all brandishing their own sabers and spears. Zalera glanced at all of them, her expression quickly growing alarmed at the anger and disgust written upon the shadowed faces of her fellow Pulsians. None of them looked familiar and not one of them looked friendly. With a growing sense of unease, she stepped back until she was back within her group, all of them falling into defensive stances.
"What's going on here, Z?" Hope asked, gaze wary. Most of the Pulsians' none-too-kind expressions were directed at him and he subconsciously tugged his sleeve down further over his brand. They knew what he was. There was no other reason for them to single him out the way they were, even if it was only with their eyes.
Zalera gave a slight shake of her head. "I don't-"
She was cut off as the first intruder finally stepped out from the shadows. He jumped from his hiding place, his feet landing with a quiet whisper on the ground. He revealed himself as the young man he sounded like, his skin lightly tanned and his clothes denoting his Pulsian culture. His brunet hair shined in the moonlight, the strands swaying gently with the breeze. His sea blue eyes were hard with a long harbored hatred as he stared at the woman before him. He wielded two swords in his palms, his grip on them tight with the promise of death.
Zalera swallowed against the lump in her throat as she looked at him in barely concealed astonishment. It can't be him. He's supposed to be…
"Noel?!"
The group had been corralled away from their camp and brought to the home of a Pulsian tribe. Noel led them and met every question and word of complaint with hardened silence. Lightning had been ready to put up a fight. She didn't want to just follow a bunch of strangers. Who knew where they were leading them, or who they were working for. But Hope stopped her. He wanted to see what was up. He was confident that they would be okay. Lightning wasn't so sure.
They'd entered a small village and were met with more looks of anger and distaste. There were some startling expressions of fear and wonder mixed in, though those were more from the youths within the group. Before long, they came to sit around a large campfire with the leader of the tribe in front of them. They were still surrounded by the warriors that had brought them there, their expressions still afire with malicious intent. Their leader was different, his deeply creased face gentle with concern, even as his shoulders were squared with the authority of a commander.
"Daichi-"
The man waved Zalera off as he gave her a disapproving stare. She complied, adopting a reluctant silence.
"You know these people?" Sazh inquired. She didn't reply, her head bowed in respect.
"I have known Zalera for many years. But that is not the issue that has brought you here." The large man looked down at Hope, his cautious gaze attentive to his every movement. "You have a gentle soul. I can see that within you, but you wield a dangerous weapon. I apologize if my people seem unkind, but you inspire a collective… nervousness among us. "
You mean fear. Hope's hand came down to grip his left wrist, his brand feeling incredibly bare despite the cloth concealing it. He couldn't say that he was unused to being feared. After his branding by Anima, it was the emotion he'd been met with the most. Even after he'd lost his brand, those unsettling looks of fear only diminished. Now as he witnessed those same looks and hate-filled glances, he realized that it never got any easier to deal with. "I mean you all no harm."
"I'm not sure you can say that with such certainty. The nature of your brand is harmful. We have all heard of its intentions. Whether you share those intentions or not is irrelevant."
Hope's brows furrowed as he looked back down at his arm. He supposed that the man had a point. No matter how sure he was that he wouldn't hurt anyone, it didn't guarantee that he wouldn't. His brand's power was already beginning to slip from his control. The crystal was hardly helping.
"I disagree." Lightning stared at the man, an itch of irritation lingering beneath her skin. The more the man talked, the more the itch grew. She didn't like this. She wasn't just going to let these people treat Hope like he was some form of terrorist with a bomb built into his body. They had no idea what he was going through to keep the peace and stop the world from ending. She glanced around the grounds, gaze unflinching as it met the ugly expressions surrounding them. The looks from these people reminded her of one person. A person that had already tried to take Hope out because of a bunch of assumptions and preconceived notions. "Are you the ones who sent an assassin after him?"
Hope's head whipped around to look at Lightning. He hadn't thought about that. He could still feel the sting of his wound, as if his stomach had never fully healed from that arrow and its poison. His eyes widened as his gaze took in everyone around him, now hyper aware of the overbearing feeling of contempt in the air. A slight shake formed in his limbs as anxiety gripped him, before it almost instantly burned into anger. Did these people kill my father?
"We are not the ones who sent her to you. Though we are some of the many who chose her."
Startled by his apologetic gaze, Hope cooled some, but the question weighed on his mind until it slipped out. "And the others?" he asked, voice choked. "Did you decide on the others?"
"Others? I have no knowledge of any other attempts."
He let go of the breath he'd been holding. He sensed no lie from the man, only honesty as their gazes met.
The man put his palms down on his knees as he sat forward. "We know of the power you hold. We've seen the destruction your kind creates." He pressed his lips together, expression soured by his words. "It's nothing against you, son. We know your restraints, but we cannot ignore the threat you pose to our world."
"So what are you planning on doing with us?" Sazh spoke. He sat back, leaning his posture on one hand. He kept his composure relaxed despite feeling about as nervous as Hope and as livid as Lightning. "It's clear that you all don't like Hope. Personal or not, you don't trust him or his brand. You ambushed us and gave us little choice in coming here unless we wanted a fight. So, what do you want with us?"
The chief pondered that question for some time, his hands tracing the tattooed patterns that danced along his toned arms. "The three of you are welcome to leave at any time. The only one that poses a true threat here is the l'Cie-"
"He has a name," Lightning snapped. The man looked taken aback at her outburst. She couldn't quite find it in her to care for politeness or formal protocol right then. "His name is Hope. It's about time you stop treating him like the bringer of death and start talking to him like he's a person. This is not some vicious creature's fate you're deciding here. He's a person." Lightning brought her gunblade out and placed it in her lap, the action just threatening enough to make a point, but passive enough to make the men around them question their next move. "And if you think we're leaving our friend in your murdering hands, think again."
"Lightning!" Zalera yelled.
"Lightning, that's a little-"
"No, Hope." Hard blue eyes stared into soft green as she met his objection with fierce indignation. "Are you paying attention? What do you think these people want with you? You think they're just inviting you to tea? Because they look an awful lot like those soldiers back in Academia." She raised a hand, stopping him from speaking as he opened his mouth to. "And don't tell me that you trust him? You're really going to take him at his word that he wasn't more involved with Aida? Or that he didn't send others after you? Seriously, you can't-"
"Stop!" Zalera barked, the lone word halting everyone in their tracks, even those simply milling around the tribal grounds.
Lightning snapped her attention back to the woman. She had her eyes closed, face twisted in pain, as if Lightning's words had physically harmed her. The roseate was about to finish her retort, to tell her that she had a point to make, but was once again stopped as she spoke.
Zalera opened her eyes and met the chief's heavy gaze. "May we speak?"
They went off alone to a small hill that overlooked the entire grounds. Zalera stood with her gaze trained on her friends, making sure that her people would not harm them in her absence. My people… I am still one of them, right? She wasn't sure if that was true anymore. She'd been away from her Pulsian brethren for so long and became so involved with Academia's people that she felt so different from the Pulsian warrior she'd once been. Being on the receiving end of such harsh glares alongside her company only caused her to question her standing even more.
"As watchful and protective as ever, neh, Hondura Lin Zalera?" The tribe leader stood off to the side, his gaze cast down towards his own people, as well. He walked slowly over towards the girl and dropped a heavy hand upon her shoulder. "After we found Noel and heard of what occurred... I'm very grateful to the gods and goddess that you survived and although he doesn't show it, I know he is as well."
Zalera closed her eyes as she drew in a breath. There were questions circling in her mind, dizzying her with the force of her curiosity. How did Noel survive? Where has he been? Why didn't he try to find me? But she couldn't find the strength to ask them. Seeing Noel again only caused her heart great pain. The last time she had seen him, Yeul had still been alive.
"You have quite the family now, don't you? It's been many moons since we've last seen each other. Even then you were so... lost after Caius' passing."
A tear fell as she heard his name. It had been so long since she had heard it. None of them had been able to say it after he'd died. Not her, not Noel, not even Yeul.
"I saw you struggling without his guidance-"
"I'm still struggling!" Zalera jerked from his hold, her hand coming up to grip over her heart. "There's holes... giant holes inside of me where they used to belong..." Her mind conjured up the images before she could stop them. She could see Yeul's bright face and Caius' stern expression in her mind's eye as if they were still there. The images only caused her to feel empty, like a hollow shell that laid forgotten by the sea. "…but they've helped me. Their kindness, their acceptance... their presence alone eases me. They fill holes I didn't even know existed." Her eyes caught sight of her group and she felt the hollowness continue to recede.
She turned back to the man at her side and watched as his expression softened at her words. She trusted Daichi. He was the main person that had helped her get back on her feet after Caius was gone. He was the only person besides Caius that had believed in her as a guardian. The only person that thought she was just as capable of protecting Yeul as her guardian had been. He's just another person I failed.
She cut those thoughts off. "You cannot give the order, Daichi. Please." She took his hands and cupped them in her own. She squeezed them as desperation pooled beneath her eyes. "They are not outsiders. They want to save this land and protect our world! They want to kill the person who took Yeul just as much as we do. They are as much a part of Pulse as I am. Please don't."
"There's been talk about you, too, Zalera."
She instantly dropped their hands and jolted away from him as if she'd been burned. "Why?! Because I'm not fully Pulsian?!" she nearly screamed. He frowned, but said nothing. She'd spent most of her childhood as an outcast amongst most Pulsian tribes, but that had changed when she'd been taken in by Caius. And Daichi had never seemed to mind before. He'd never once spoken of it. He had always treated her like one of his own. Always. The guilt in his eyes only made her angry. "I won't let you kill them."
"You will die for them?"
"Yes."
He seemed momentarily perplexed by her unyielding conviction. "You know that I have to," he replied, though he hardly looked happy about it. "A chief has to look out for their tribe. I cannot allow outsiders to remain on our plains. Especially not one as potentially dangerous as him."
"Daichi-" His stare silenced her.
"They do have good hearts, I'll give them that. From my perception, they are the perfect companions for you."
She grew confused as she saw the raw emotion in the depths of his eyes. There was a happiness to his gaze that she had only seen once before. There was also a hint of pride shining within it as he looked back at her.
"It shall start at dawn."
Betrayal sunk into her chest before she realized the implication behind his words. He was giving her a warning. A way out. "Thank you..." she whispered.
"You still have business with me, Zalera."
Noel jumped down from his hiding spot above them. He'd been sitting in the tree the entire time, simply watching the exchange. Zalera had known of his presence and so had Daichi.
"Don't think you can get away from me that easily." He brought up his blade and advanced on her.
"Go ahead." She turned towards him and spread her arms out, welcoming his attack. "Give me your best shot, Noel." Her challenge caught him off guard, his limbs stilling with hesitation. "But you let them leave," she said, jerking her chin in her team's direction. "They have nothing to do with this. So, come on. Give me all you've got."
Noel said nothing as his brooding stare took her in. She looked deep into his eyes, trying to figure out what it was that he wanted from her. His animosity towards her was nothing new. Noel hated her. He'd hated her from the moment she'd become a candidate to become Caius' successor. That hatred had only grown since Caius died, the circumstances of his passing sealing her fate at Yeul's side and barring Noel from his destiny. But there was a new hatred residing in the depths of his soul. Something far darker and far more savage sat there like a caged beast ready to rip itself out. She was sure that he would attempt to take her life. If not now, then she would be tasting his blade sometime in the future.
When enough time had passed and Noel had yet to make a move, Zalera dropped her arms and turned away. She descended the hill, leaving the two men in silence.
"You should go with them, son." Daichi's gravelly voice broke through the quiet.
"What?" Noel asked, his face twisted in disgust.
"You've been missing your people, your true tribe. You said you would give anything to have them back. Well, here she is," he gestured to the now empty space Zalera left behind, "a part of your missing family. You feel like an outsider here, right? Your soul is still very restless. You should go with them. I'm sure her family would welcome you, as they did her."
"I..." Noel wavered, expression torn. He wanted his family back. He'd spent so many nights desperately wishing to be back with them. To be by Yeul's side as she smiled and laughed. To spend more hours enduring one of Caius' grueling training sessions. But not with her. Never her.
"And you want to stop all of this... That is their goal. To right the wrongs that have been made towards their home, our home... towards you and Yeul... Go with them, Noel."
He snapped himself out of his thoughts. There was no point in wishing for the impossible. He was alone now, as he always would be. "Never."
"How do they know so much about my brand? About me?" Hope wondered aloud.
"I've been thinking about that since Aida," said Lighting. She'd calmed herself since their meeting with the tribe's leader, but she still felt restless within enemy territory. And there was no doubt in her mind that they were in enemy territory. "Have the people of Pulse always been so tuned in to our affairs?"
"I assume so," spoke Sazh, "or Castea's got a lot more puppets than we realized."
"I thought we decided that Castea didn't send… Aida." Her name caught in Hope's throat and felt unpleasant on his tongue. The woman still produced mixed feelings within him. He knew he shouldn't care much for the assassin that had come so close to taking his life, but he couldn't help the guilt that sat on his chest as he thought back to her bloody body chained to their interrogation room table. "Or at least that she wasn't directly responsible for it."
Lightning mulled over Hope's question for a moment, turning her gunblade over in her palms. The men around them had backed off, but they still stared at her uneasily as she openly fingered her weapon. "Maybe she wasn't directly involved, but that doesn't mean that she didn't spread the word. What better way to stop us from forming any possible alliances with the Pulsian populace than to let out little whisperings about you and your brand?"
Hope fought back the bitter anger that rose as Lightning spoke about Castea. It wasn't the time or place. "How are we going to get out of here?"
"We wouldn't even be here if you'd just listened to me."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
Lightning paused, stunned by the apology. "It's… fine." She looked up towards the hill where Zalera and the man were speaking. It looked like a pretty intense conversation, but they were too far away for her to read much else. "I'm hoping that's what Zalera's talking to him about. Maybe her connection to these people can get us out of this mess. I wouldn't count on it, though. They seem very keen on keeping you."
"Ugh," Hope groaned. "I'm so sick of everyone deciding my future for me. Can't they just let me be?"
"Hey," Lightning scooted closer to him and laced their fingers together. "Don't worry. I'm figuring out an exit strategy as we speak. We'll be back on track to getting the second crystal in no time."
"Yippee," he grumbled, but he took comfort in their connected hands. He still felt ill-at-ease in Lightning's company. Their fight had only continued to snowball with recent events. The fact that Lightning knew about his torture made him want to pull away. The fact that she'd kept it from him made him want to vomit. But he did neither of those things. Instead he allowed himself to push the revelation out of his mind.
"Didn't she tell you? She knows…"
He tightened his grip on Lightning, as if that would stop Castea's voice from worming its way back into his mind.
"Is it just me, or is that kid staring at us?"
Lightning rolled her eyes and paid his question little mind. "Everyone's staring at us, Sazh."
"Gee, no kidding. I meant… more than everyone else. He's just staring. It's starting to creep me out."
Lightning looked over to the child that Sazh referenced. He was definitely staring at them. His amber eyes were concentrated on their group as he stood over by a hut nearby. His expression was blank, oddly void of any emotion for a child his age. It was more than a little unnerving. Lightning tilted her head as she came to realize something. "He's not staring at us. He's staring at you."
Hope caught Lightning's glance and looked back at the boy. He jumped in his spot as he noticed that he had moved towards them. "Um…"
"Did that kid get closer without even moving?" asked Sazh, shuffling closer to the others. Hope nodded mutely. The elder man blinked as he looked back. "Oh, god, he got closer."
Hope chuckled lightly, if not a bit uneasily. "Maybe he just wants to talk to us."
"Or maybe he wants to kill us all in our sleep and cackle as he dances in our innards."
Hope gawked at his comment. "What the heck, Sazh? As a father, I would have thought that you'd find kids endearing."
"I do. But that one's just creepy."
"His name is Oak." The whole group jumped as Zalera's voice came from behind them.
"Dang, woman. You couldn't have given us a warning?" Sazh brought a hand up to his chest as he drew in a breath. "You all are going to owe me a new heart. Between you and that kid over there-"
"You mean this kid, here?"
Sazh turned back around to find the boy not six feet from him. "Holy mother of-" He instantly jumped from his spot and hid behind Zalera. "He ain't gettin' my innards."
Zalera let out a hearty laugh. "He's just shy, you dingbat." She smacked him upside the head, laughing even more as he gave an indignant squawk. Brushing away the tears forming at the corners of her eyes, she nodded towards the young one. "Hey there, Oak. You're one of the few I recognize around here."
The boy bowed deeply, but his expression didn't flinch. His gaze travelled along the group members, from Zalera to Sazh to Lightning before it finally settled back on Hope.
The silveret cleared his throat as he moved to kneel before him, putting them at about the same height. "Hi, my name's Hope. It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand, but the boy only stared at it with the same blank expression. Hope frowned, glancing at Zalera for help.
"Oak doesn't talk. And he doesn't really like touching people-"
Hope's eyes widened as the boy slowly reached his hands out towards Hope's face. His hands paused in the air, as if waiting for permission. Hope gave it with a nod of his head. Oak laid his palms on his face, and Hope had to stop himself from cringing at the rough, foreign skin on his own. Oak's fingers slowly felt along his cheeks and up towards his eyes. He closed his eyelids, waiting as his fingertips felt along them, as well. He opened them as his hands descended down, tracing over his lips that formed into an anxious smile. They continued down until they paused on his chest and pressed down over his heart. Hope's brow creased as Oak grabbed onto his own hand and brought it to the boy's chest. He could feel the boy's heart beat against the pressure of his hand. It was a slow rhythm, quiet and at ease.
Oak nodded towards him and closed his eyes. Taking that as a signal, Hope followed his lead, but his vision wasn't filled with the blackness he had expected. It was as if he had closed his eyes only to open them to a completely different world. His body was no longer on the plains of Pulse and was instead eclipsed in a dark void that surrounded a calm, but vibrant river of energy. It flowed along in the air before him, streams of blue light just swirling and dancing together to create one cohesive stream. Hope felt compelled to touch it, but didn't dare try.
He waited there, watching as the energy floated off into the distance. Hope wondered how long the river was and where it was going. It looked like it just continued on forever, a steady stream that never stopped. It held the sound of light buzzing and smelled of life, like the air after a rainstorm, a strong scent of rain and wet grass, but also sunshine and warm earth. Hope felt it odd that he could feel so at peace in a place so dark and lonely.
A soft whistle blew through the air and the energy shifted. It winded around and formed into two giant hands. Hope took a cautious step back, but knew that there was nowhere he could run even if he wanted to. So instead he planted his feet down and accepted them. They wouldn't hurt him, right?
They drew forward slowly until they sunk into his chest. Hope felt a tender heat surround his heart, little fingers of warmth tracing its edges until the energy invaded that too. He gasped as a strong emotion welled up within him. He felt a deep respect and admiration, as if the energy held him in high regard and was giving him its praise. He could also feel his very spirit grow stronger as the odd current flowed through him. His soul felt lighter, not as burdened by expectations, loss, and fear.
Then the hands slipped back out. They crept away, their shape altering until they turned back into the river that continued to flow. Hope could feel something attempting to draw him back and he opened his eyes.
A small, quiet smile formed on Oak's face, a twinkle in his eyes as he pulled away. He bowed again, this time towards Hope, before scampering off out of sight.
"Oak… usually doesn't do that." Zalera watched him run off, her gaze full of wonder.
Lightning looked over at Hope, concerned. "What did he just do?"
Hope sat back on his heels, staring at his hand before he put it over his heart. "I don't know."
"I think he just gave you his blessing," Zalera suggested.
"Blessing?"
She nodded. "Oak comes from a long line of pureblood mages. They've been known to give blessings from time to time. The last time I saw him do that was with Yeul. She said that it was his way of casting protection upon one's soul."
"Why would he do that? Why doesn't he fear me like everyone else?"
"Maybe he doesn't think you deserve to be feared," she responded with a smile.
Hope's lips turned up into its own smile. He felt a sense of tranquility sink into his core as he thought about that. There was someone that wanted to protect him. Someone that didn't just see him as a filthy l'Cie. Someone that didn't want to condemn him for things beyond his control. "He's a mage? I didn't know that mages even existed. Outside of short passages, I haven't come across them in Pulsian history."
"Of course they exist, but their bloodlines thinned out as our numbers dwindled over past centuries. Oak is a rare bird." Zalera's eyes narrowed as she looked at the Pulsian fighters around them. "I'm surprised they let him near you, actually."
Hope looked out to where the young boy had disappeared. He reminded him of himself at the beginning of his trials. Not by his appearance. The two couldn't look more different. The boy held dark brown hair and tough, bronzed skin reminiscent of Fang's. A thick cloth was wrapped around his waist and slender lines traversed his upper torso, tribal tattoos that Hope assumed were a custom of his culture. He appeared earthy, wild and untamed. But he was still such a young boy of maybe twelve or thirteen years and he already held the burden of immense power.
"Is he mute by choice or…"
"You could say that. When mages come into their powers they're forced to make a sacrifice. They give up a piece of themselves in order to gain the right to wield magic. Oak chose his voice. He is physically capable of talking, but if he breaks his silence, he breaks his oath to his ancestors and would be stripped of his powers."
A sacrifice? Now that sounded familiar. They all had to make a sacrifice to gain power. The mages give up a piece of themselves, a sense or a right others take for granted. L'Cies and even fal'Cies are bound to live their lives in servitude. Every Yeul gives up the bulk of her lifetime to receive glimpses of the future. And his sacrifice? Would it be his life? His humanity?
"So what's going on, Zalera?" Lightning questioned. "They don't actually intend on hurting us, do they?"
"Not us. As Daichi said, they just want Hope. But if we stay, they'll pass judgement on us, as well."
Lightning glared at the people around them. "Judgement?"
"Why don't I like the sound of that?" Sazh asked as he sat back down.
Zalera clicked her tongue and sat down to join them as she explained. "When a tribe determines someone to be a threat, the chief makes the overall decision of what is to be done with them. With l'Cies, the chief usually waits to give an order. He either decides to let them go, kill them, or seek council with other tribal heads and go from there. Once the order is given, it cannot be changed and must be carried out no matter what. Daichi is waiting to give the order until dawn."
Sazh looked around the group and asked what was on everyone's mind. "What does that mean?"
"It means we have until dawn to get out of here."
"Let's get going then." Sazh stood up and made to leave.
Lightning quickly grabbed his collar, trying to act casual so as not to alert those around them. "They're not just going to let us leave, Sazh. We have to wait until the crowd thins out a little, right?"
Zalera gave a nod of assent, her eyes also carefully gauging the crowd. "Everything will settle soon. Trust me. We'll leave soon, but not until the right moment."
"And if the right moment doesn't present itself?" Zalera glared at the afro-haired man, his hands instantly raising in surrender. "Just being realistic. Something always happens and I'd like to be prepared."
Lightning had been thinking about that, too. It wasn't that she didn't believe Zalera. As Sazh said, things happened, especially around them. Nothing seemed to go simply or smoothly for them, much to her displeasure. "Hope could always just put everyone to sleep or something." Her eyes glanced in his direction, but he looked reluctant, to say the least. "Your more passive abilities can come in handy."
"I'd really rather not. I don't know what kinds of consequences even my passive abilities may have for others. The less I have to use my brand, the better, I think."
"I agree," Zalera said. "And we wouldn't want to give them any reasons to follow us."
Hope smiled. "So we wait."
They waited until the night stilled to make their escape. It actually wasn't too hard to slip out unnoticed. The men around them had withdrawn as the chief retired, and as the last few Pulsians began to turn in, they made their move. They'd almost made it out before they caught the eye of one warrior guarding the perimeter, but as his gaze met Zalera's, an understanding formed in his eyes and he turned the other way, allowing them unhindered passage.
It wasn't until they were miles out of the tribe's reach that they felt like they could breathe again. The first rays of the sun were peeking out over the horizon when they decided to make camp, once again. Since they were by a stream, Sazh ducked out, deciding that he wanted to rinse the last week's worth of grime off of his body.
"If anyone needs me, I'll be having a soak."
"Is that really smart? Should we be separating so soon?" Hope was leery of the false security everyone had so easily adopted. While he didn't doubt that they were far enough away from the tribe to camp, he still knew that other dangers lurked in dark corners. They'd already almost lost Sazh once. Splitting up just seemed like a bad idea.
Zalera took his question into consideration, but found little problem with it. The stream wasn't too far away, and Sazh could hold his own well enough. "We're quite a ways away, Hope. I don't see much harm. Besides, Sazh can protect himself, right?"
"Course. I got my duelers keeping me company." He spun one of his pistols around his finger in a lazy show of capability.
Lightning shook her head at her goofball of a teammate. "If anything happens, I'm sure we'll hear him hollering," she quipped.
"Hey! Now that's just unkind."
Hope laughed and let his feelings of wariness ease as Sazh made his way out of sight. The young director's attention then fell to Zalera. Her gaze was intense as she stared out past them, her eyes watching the trees as if she expected something to pop out and attack. After last time, he couldn't blame her.
"I'm going to check around the perimeter, just to be safe."
Zalera left the two of them alone as she, too, went off on her own. Lightning almost objected. Being left with Hope alone meant that she finally had to own up and talk to him. She had to be an adult and take advantage of the opportunity. She'd resolved to do it the night before, why was it so hard now? "That just leaves you and me, I guess."
Hope said nothing, just began to fuss with the things inside the pack at his hip.
"Listen, Hope. I know you don't want to talk to me, but-"
"Who says I don't want to talk to you?"
She scowled and walked around him so they could face each other. "Don't give me that passive aggressive crap. Before we were whisked away," she began with a tense roll of her hand, "you were either outright ignoring me or placating me. And I hate being placated even more than ignored."
He dropped his task, finally raising his gaze to meet hers. "What do you want me to say? I can't…" "Didn't she tell you…" He brushed those words off. This wasn't about that. He couldn't let it be about that. "I can't ignore what you said back there. I know you were angry and I know you were hurt, but that doesn't mean that you didn't mean any of it."
The fire in her eyes quieted, but she was no less determined. "I already apologized for that…" It had taken a lot out of her, and he'd seemed to accept her apology back at the castle. She'd apologize again, if she had to. If it would get him to finally open back up and let her in, she would do it without a word of complaint.
"Not about my mom and Snow. About before. I can't change who I am, Light."
"I don't want you to."
"Yes, you do," Hope quickly replied. "I know why you're worried. You think that my compassion will leave me vulnerable. That I won't be able to take the enemy down when the time comes." She wasn't alone in that thought. He'd already begun to hesitate. For all he knew, if he'd just kept going and taken advantage of her vulnerable state, the threat of Castea could have already been eliminated. "And maybe you're right. Maybe the next time I face Castea or whatever opponent comes next, I won't want to kill them." His hand balled into a fist at his side as his stare hardened. "But maybe I won't have to. Did you think of that? Did you ever consider that maybe there's an alternative to killing the enemy?"
"She has to die, Hope." Lightning could feel more bricks being added to that wall between them, but she wouldn't waver on this. No matter what Hope thought, no matter what he wanted, Castea was going to die. "I don't know why you seem so averse to the idea. She wants you dead. She tried to kill us multiple times. She kidnapped your friends. She caused the deaths of Kori and Cass, possibly even Lebreau, Alyssa, Hildough, and so many other people. God, even after all she did to Academia and you're defending her." She couldn't understand it. It was maddening and she hated how much it affected her. How much that woman affected her, but not Hope. Just the thought of Castea threw her into a blind rage. She wanted to decimate her, make her regret her existence for everything she did to them, to Hope. "She tortured you. After everything she put you through-"
"What do you know about what I went through?" Hope stared back at her, provoking her with his eyes. Say it, Lightning. Admit what you saw. He didn't know why he wanted her to say it. He was treating her like she was the evil one. Like she was the one that strapped him to that table and forced him to feel every ounce of his mortality. He just felt so betrayed, so hurt and frustrated by her keeping something so important from him. It was hypocritical of him and he knew that. He jumped through so many hoops to keep it all from her, put them both and their relationship through such strain. But it didn't matter. She knew now. She knew and she never said a word. Why, Lightning? Are you ashamed of me now? Do I disgust you? Are you trying to forget what you saw because if you didn't you wouldn't be able to face me anymore? Hope shook his head as he turned away from Lightning and the thoughts surrounding her. Stop. Stop projecting your own feelings onto her. It's not fair.
"I don't."
Ah, and there it is. The lie. She was outright lying to him now. He couldn't even say he hadn't expected it. Here she was trying to get him to stop running away from her, when she was too busy still running from him.
Lightning sprang forward and grabbed onto the front of his coat. She gripped it hard, shaking him until he finally looked back at her again. "But I was there when you were gone." She couldn't keep the emotion from her voice as she continued and she was painfully aware of how broken she sounded, of how broken she looked, but she didn't care, not when she felt so desperate to convey her feelings toward him. "I counted the days when you were in her hands. I endured nightmares and horrifying visions of what you could have been going through. I had to force myself to act like I was okay when I was falling apart because you were gone." Lightning could feel old tears of pain and sorrow return anew as she remembered what it was like to lose him. It had been so hard to hold herself back from tearing the world apart to get to him. Her grip on him strengthened, as if she were afraid that he was going to disappear once more. "And when I saw you in that hospital bed… saw what I could have prevented… I will never forgive her. And I don't understand why you're so ready to."
Hope brought her into his arms faster than her namesake. He held her for a few moments, making clear that he understood her pain. "Don't misunderstand, Lightning. I don't forgive her. I can't. But a part of me can't condemn her for it either. Don't ask me why." Her arms wrapped around his waist and he felt reassured when she didn't immediately pull away. "I don't know what I'll do in the future. But I have to know that you'll still be there with me when I make the decision, and that you'll trust me enough to let me follow through on that decision when I make it."
"I'll be there. I'm sorry I said that I wouldn't. I didn't mean it." She squeezed him tighter as their hug drew on. She'd missed this intimacy and the simple assurances it brought with it. "Are we okay?"
"Not yet, but we'll get there. Nothing can change the fact that I love you."
Lightning burrowed her nose into his jacket and muttered, "…Forever and always?"
He barked out a watery chuckle at the adorable way that she'd asked that, the words so full of hope and insecurity. "Yeah…" It didn't matter where they stood, or what they were going through, Hope believed that there would never be a time when he wouldn't cherish the woman in his arms. Even if she could be a giant pain in the ass sometimes. "Yeah," he said more resolutely and pulled back just enough to kiss her on the forehead before he tucked her head back beneath his chin. "Forever and always. Mind, body and soul."
Why can't you tell me? He let that question rest within the confines of his mind. He wasn't sure he was ready for the answer, or if he ever would be.
Zalera stalked off into the trees, keen on finding the person trailing them. She knew who it was. There was never any doubt. "I know you're there! You might have kept yourself just far enough away to remain undetected this time, but that doesn't change the fact that I know you're there!"
"You're just so smart, huh?" Noel stared down at his former companion, an unimaginable rage coiling in his gut. She still looked so strong and willful, like the days without Yeul had no hold on her. How come she hadn't been destroyed by Yeul's death like he had? How could she stand there, so calm and collected, when she'd failed the soul she'd sworn to protect? It wasn't right. It was unforgivable.
"No, you're just too predictable." He jumped down from his spot and came to stand before her. His body, rigid with anger, blocked her path back to her group. But that was just fine with her. They didn't need to get caught up in her problems. She could handle Noel on her own. "What do you want from me, Noel?" Zalera asked, her words heavy with exasperation.
Noel tensed up even more at the question. "What do I want?" He scoffed, turning to face her as scorn darkened his features. "I want what you took from me."
"Took from you?"
"You took Yeul!" he screamed. "You…"
Zalera watched as his frustration crumbled into grief. A sudden twitch developed in her fingers, her body seeking to comfort the boy she had watched grow into a man. The boy she had spent so much of her life with. But she stilled her hand. The days of her comforting him were long past. Right now, he wanted her head. She had to focus her mind on Noel as the enemy, not as her friend.
His face scrunched up as the sorrow threatened to swallow him. It was too much. There were so many emotions he'd swallowed down so he could survive, so he could stay alive and keep moving. He hadn't dealt with Yeul's death, not completely. Now, standing before Zalera, he was forced to confront those demons he kept locked up for so long. "You were supposed to protect her and instead you just… You let her die!"
"Is this really about Yeul?" Zalera asked as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Noel's face twitched in irritation as she said her name. "Or is this the same fight we've always had? I became her guardian, a title originally meant for you," she said as she pointed a finger at him. "You were born with that destiny. You lived and trained and breathed knowing that it would one day be your job, and then I swooped in and stole it from you. That's what you're mad about. That's why you couldn't just let me leave and forget I ever existed. You're clinging to something that doesn't even matter anymore."
"Don't! Don't you dare say it doesn't matter! It means everything." In one furious movement, Noel hilted his smaller dagger into his larger blade and hefted his great sword into a fighting stance. "I'll take back that title. I'll protect the next Yeul. You don't deserve the right."
"You want to fight me, Noel?" Zalera lazily untucked her chakrams from their straps and brought them down at her sides. She stared him down, her eyes evaluating his form. In many ways, he was the same Noel she'd known for half her life. In many ways, he wasn't. Just what did losing her do to you, Noel? She drew herself back, ready to catch the attack he was gearing himself up for. "Just like old times…"
Noel lunged forward, his sword diving straight for her abdomen. She swung her chakrams down, the three weapons colliding with a loud screech. He didn't back off immediately, and that caught her off guard. The old Noel would have. Instead he hefted his weight forward, determined as he pushed her back. Her boots slid in the dirt and Zalera could feel her muscles screaming at her as she tried to hold the man's attack.
Giving a loud grunt, Zalera strengthened her stance before she shoved him off. She pulled back, but Noel didn't let up. He attacked her again, this time with a hefty swipe aimed at her side. She easily deflected it, but before she could blink there was another one. Noel pivoted and swung his sword back around towards her other, unguarded side. She quickly brought one of her chakrams up to catch the attack, but the block was inefficient. Noel's great sword allowed him to put his whole being behind his swings. Catching him with one hand was the wrong move and she could feel her wrist twisting as it took the brunt of his weight.
When did you get so strong?!
Bringing her other chakram down, she broke their weapons' connection and drew back again. She tried to put some distance between them so she could freely throw one of her chakrams. Before she could even attempt, Noel was back in her space, his sword diving low as he swung at her feet. She jumped over the blade scant seconds before it could connect with her ankles. She'd barely landed when the sword came back and she jumped over it again.
When did you get so fast?!
Her landing was off, and she remained unbalanced on her feet as he continued to lash out at her. Every swing came in faster, harder. She narrowly dodged each one, becoming slower and weaker as the time drew on. He leapt off the ground to land a hit aimed at her head. Again she caught his attack, but his swing managed to steal her chakram from her hands. It spun away from her until it stuck itself in the dirt.
You really want to kill me… The realization devastated her more than she thought it would.
When he didn't immediately attack again, she let out a rush of air and ran the back of her unoccupied hand over her forehead. Sweat dripped down the sides of her face and down the length of her back. Her arms felt like jelly as she dropped them back at her sides. Her only consolation was that Noel looked just as tired as she felt. "Not bad. You're improving."
"Don't talk like him," Noel barked. How dare she sound like him. Like she was Noel's master and he was her student. He had one master, and she'd taken him from him. "You're not him. You will never be him."
Zalera considered his statement and the fury it had been loaded with. "Or is this about Caius? Is this because I killed him?" It took everything in her to sound unaffected. "Is this because I killed him when you couldn't?"
"No!" he yelled as his eyes widened and his nostrils flared.
"It is, isn't it?"
He shook his head adamantly in denial, as if he could erase the truth with one simple action.
Zalera steeled herself until she was ready for his revenge. If Noel wanted to blame her, then she would let him. She already blamed herself. Noel's desire to take her life only reinforced her feelings of guilt and shame. "I killed him, took your title, and got Yeul killed! I deserve to die, right? Then kill me!" He lifted his head at her demand, but didn't make a move. As Noel hesitated, Zalera lashed out one last time, the swipe of her chakram ripping his great sword from his grip and sending it flying.
Shock registered on Noel's features before it sunk into resignation. He fell to his knees, his body hitting the ground with a dull thump. "Why can't I ever win?"
Her chest heaved in quick breaths and she felt more than just the strain of her exhaustion dragging her body down. She stared down at his form, his lost expression striking her heart with pity. With a sigh, she went to collect her other chakram and his sword. She latched her weapons back into her back straps and went back to stand before him. "Here." She held his blade out in front of his face.
He looked up at it, his eyes gazing along the length of the sword before he hung his head in disgrace. "I don't deserve it."
She growled as she yanked Noel up from his spot and forced his weapon into his hand. "Take it." She waited until his grip tightened before letting go. "He gave it to you. You earned the right to wield it a long time ago. Now act like the man Caius thought you were."
Noel gazed down at the sword for some time, his eyes just tracing the flames that the blades resembled. "What are you doing, Zalera?" Noel asked passively, his words lacking any of that former fire he'd faced her with.
"What do you mean?"
"Here. With them."
She watched his face pinch in distaste and was surprised by the reaction. She didn't think Noel would hold the same view as the rest of the Pulsian populace. He had always been pretty receptive when Yeul would speak about the possibilities of peace between the two worlds.
"He's the reason they took her. They killed her because of him."
So that's why. Zalera was quickly realizing that they needed to start addressing and eradicating the rumors circulating on Pulse. They were stirring up trouble and would only lead to more people coming after their group. "No, Noel. It wasn't Hope's fault."
"I don't believe you."
She bristled, but calmed herself before she could lash out at him again. "She wanted him to succeed."
Noel went wide eyed at that. "Huh?"
"Yeah," she replied, staring off as Hope and Lightning emerged from the trees, their frantic gazes searching her out. She looked at Hope's face and all of her guilt and regrets began to ebb away. "She saw what was going to happen and she wanted him to win. So I'm going to make sure her wish comes true." She turned back to him, her gaze strong as a spirited smile perked her lips. "I'm still following her lead even if she's no longer here in front of me."
Zalera began to walk off, ready to let her teammates know what was up, but was stopped by a gentle tug on her forearm. She looked back over her shoulder, Noel's fervent gaze meeting hers.
"I'm coming." His hand fell from her and came back to the hilt of his sword. Caius had given him that sword so he could protect Yeul. If he couldn't do that, then he could at least protect her dreams. "If it's for her, then I'm in."