Heyo! A little early, but here it is! Enjoy ;)

II: Voice of the Priestess

High Priestess: Intuition, Unconscious, Inner Voice

Reversed High Priestess: Lost Inner Voice, Repressed Intuition, Confusion, Cognitive Dissonance

Yuuki is even worse after the July's Full Moon operation.

He's not talking to Yukari at all, that's one thing. He's avoiding physical contacts, to the point that even Sanada, who's known as the least capable at noticing social cues, is starting to notice, that's another.

He's not as reckless in Tartarus, still mindful not to hurt himself. He still talks to them (yes, except to her, somehow) just fine, he still smiles – although it's less, from her point of view – and he still engages in some social outings with his friends.

But he's actively avoiding physical contacts with anyone and everyone.

"Fuuka," She says as she joins the navigator in the lounge. When she hears the girl hums, she continues, a frown forming on her face. "What's wrong with Yuuki-kun?"

"I don't know," She says, her voice concerned. As if on cue, the person in question walks in through the door, alone. There are definitely bags under his eyes as he blinks slowly at them. Fuuka is quick to greet him. "Welcome back, Yuuki-kun. Are you… okay?"

"…Just tired," He replies with a loud yawn. "Been pulling some all-nighters."

Oh, yeah. Exams.

"Please rest well," Fuuka says. Yuuki simply nods (while avoiding eye contact with her all the way) before trudging up the steps. Once he is gone, the navigator turns to her. "He really is avoiding you, huh, Yukari-chan?"

"Yeah," She mumbles, tapping her knee lightly. She couldn't quite figure out why exactly, although... "I think I have an idea, but I'm not too sure."

"…Uh," Fuuka begins, a little pensive. Yukari turns to her, tilting her head slightly. The navigator pauses for a bit before she clears the throat. "I know this might be a rather sensitive topic, and the others didn't seem to have notice this yet, but um… what happened during the Full Moon Operation?"

That gives Yukari a long, painful pause.

Her hands unconsciously rub at her throat, the feeling of his hands gripping down on it still linger. She remembers coming out of the bath dazed, only to be shocked back to reality hard when he screamed, and that was the most heart-wrenching sound she's ever heard. She winces as she continues to recall the events — after that, she tries to talk him out of it, but—

"—But then he whirled around, snatched my neck, and started strangling me," She finishes her thought, her voice raw.

"…That explained the bruises, then," Fuuka says slowly, an uncharacteristic frown on her face. "He was under control, right? How did you—?"

"I didn't," She answers the unfinished question as she forces her hands back down to her lap, her eyes lingering on the dark staircases. "He snapped out of it himself, and he cut his leg open to stop his body from doing anything else."

"…Oh."

She remembers the feeling of her windpipe being crushed, of her life slowly being forced out of her. It wasn't his fault, but during all of that, she realized that she was afraid of him. He must've noticed, because he shot down her attempt to reassure him with such anger in his eyes — anger that wasn't pointed at her.

He was furious at himself.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Fuuka asks.

"Yeah, but… he's keeping me at arm's length, all the time," She murmurs. "I want—I need to apologize."

She has to. Her fear is—

"You were afraid of him, back then," Fuuka says as she puts her hand on Yukari's shoulder, squeezing gently in reassurance. When she opens her mouth, the other girl interrupts her. "It's normal, you know. Even if you know he's being manipulated into doing that, there's no way you couldn't have felt fear."

"I know," She murmurs, looking down at her hands as she puts them together. "I know, but still, I have to let him know that it wasn't his fault. And that I'm not afraid anymore."

"How would be a problem, huh…" Fuuka muses.

"…Yeah."

How would be a problem, but he has to know.

She's seeing the signs of him slowly breaking from the inside, and she can't allow that to happen to him, especially not because of her.

It's not his fault. None of it is.

That night, she wakes up at an ungodly hour of 3 am just because.

…And she couldn't go back to sleep.

With a disgruntled groan, she gets up and pads her way down to the kitchen, in hope that she might be able to go back to sleep if she can have herself a warm cup of milk.

When she reaches the kitchen, she's slightly taken aback by the state of it — the water is being warmed up, there is a waterless cup on the table, and she could hear the faint voice of a random program on the TV from the lounge. Curious, she quietly pads her way towards the noise—

"Yuuki-kun?" She calls softly. He doesn't turn right away, his focus solely on his clasped hands, his body rocking back and forth a little. He blinks a few times before looking up at her.

It takes a while, but he replies—with a small nod.

She frowns. "You haven't talked to me since…"

Since you tried to strangle me.

He hums, but refuses to utter a word. And that really ticks her off.

She was about to snap at him, but the longer she looks at him, the less she wants to. Even with the darkness of the lightness room, he's pale. His lips are pursed into a tense line, his shoulders hunched, the bags under his eyes even more prominent. And he's sweating bullets, his shirt sticking to his frame from all the perspiration.

"…Nightmares?" She tries again, still not leaving the spot she's standing, for fear that he might run away.

He seems to unconsciously flex his fingers, curling them over his own knuckles. Yuuki forces out a sigh before nodding, eyes closed. He presses his joint hands against his forehead and breathes.

Then Yukari realizes… that he's not having just nightmares; he's reliving them.

She tries to walk to him, but his immediate, maybe even thoughtless, reaction is to scoot away.

It pains her to see that. If she hadn't been so afraid of him then, he might not have chosen to shut himself away like he is now. She hears his breath (it's ragged. She just realizes that it's ragged) hitches slightly, so she backs away. He relaxes at that, and it takes him maybe a few seconds to realize what he had just done, because he's looking up at her, his eyes apologetic.

She only gives him a small smile (seeing him like this hurts) before pointing at the sofa opposite from him. "Can I sit there, then? I won't get too close to you, I promise."

He chews the inside of his cheek a little before nodding.

She briefly checks the fridge and grabs a can of coke before slowly walking over, mindful of his reaction. When she is sure he won't flinch, she sits down opposite from him, the coffee table between them.

The silence stretches, and she feels the urge to do something to get rid of it, but she couldn't. In the end, all she does is drinking from her can while Yuuki just mindlessly flipping through the channels. After a while, he gives up and turns off the TV, eliminating the last source of white noises from the room.

She just looks at him. He looks so… small. Fragile. It seems like this isn't the first time he's down here at such an ungodly hour, either. And she doesn't like this. This is her fault, not his. With a determined nod to herself, she inhales and speaks up, "Yuuki-kun, whatever happened isn't your fault—"

"Isn't it?" He chokes out, his voice hoarse. He isn't looking at her eyes, but at her throat. The pain is all gone now, but the bruises are there still…

"It isn't—"

"Isn't it?" He repeats, his voice but a whisper. There is something behind his voice, something that's tearing at her heart, something that shouldn't have been there at all.

The voice inside her is urging her to stop, that doing this, that if she pushes this wrong, harder than she should, she would cause more harm than good. She shoves the voice away and speaks a bit louder than she had originally intended. "It is not! Would you please shut up for a second and listen!?"

He flinches, biting his lower lip hard enough to split it. She ignores that.

"You were under control!" She snaps, finally having enough. The voice is nagging at her harder to slow down a little more, but she chooses to ignore it still. "It wasn't your fault that your body moved on its own! This is not your fault, so would you please shut up already!?"

Instead of coming to his senses or whatever else she is expecting, she hasn't expected him to curl up and cry.

"Yuuki-kun, I…" She stammers, unsure of what to do. She doesn't even know why he's like that. "I'm sorry, that was—"

"Please, stop," He chokes out a broken sob as he curls into himself, hugging his arms and digging his nails into them. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"I…"

He's apologizing for something that isn't his fault at all, like he's afraid, his voice so soft and so broken as he keeps saying sorry. Again, and again, and again, like a broken record.

And all Yukari could do is watch. Whatever she did trigger something in him she shouldn't have.

"I… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

But you did. You fail to take into account his current state and push all the buttons available, when you could've handled it better, much better.

And look at what you did.

You're breaking a broken person further.

She couldn't really argue with that.

She should've been more careful with what she said.

The change is immediately noticeable following the next few days of that night.

He still attends classes, still talks, but he's not even trying to smile. He's avoiding her even harder, to the point that everyone in the dorm is starting to ask questions. He's reverting back, and it's her fault—

"Takeba," Kirijou says as she knocks on her door, jolting her out of her thoughts. She blinks stupidly for a while before opening the door, to be greeted by both Kirijou and Fuuka.

"Um…" She begins, uncertain of what to do. She has an inkling of why they're here, but…

"There's something I'd like to tell you," Kirijou says, her voice still flat, bit there's concern in them. When she looks up in confusion, she clarifies. "I and Yamagishi have been talking about the… recent changes in Yuuki's behavior. While you might or might not have anything to do with it, his responses are not normal."

"What do you… mean?" She asks, eyeing Fuuka as the other girl gives her an apologetic smile.

"We did a little more background checks, and while we found nothing of note at first, one thing stuck out."

She thinks she knows. She has a little idea of what it could've been, ever since she ignores that tiny voice, but she still went through with what she did despite that. Yukari resists the urge to run and murmurs, "What is it?"

"There was a period, around four years back, where there are records of him… visiting the children psyche ward."

She heart sinks.

"Takeba, Yuuki is a known Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder sufferer."

She tries to suppress a sob threatening to rip its way out of her throat as she puts both hands over her mouth. She couldn't breathe.

Then all those avoidances, his anger, his reactions—

She just made it worse, because she doesn't—no, because she refuses to understand.

"Oh… god."

"Yukari-chan," Fuuka says, pulling her into a hug as she's frozen stiff still. The girl just keeps hugging her tight, a hand patting her back. "It isn't your fault. You couldn't have known that."

Isn't it?

His broken voice rings through her head, as she's now in the same position that he was. Logically, she knows it isn't entirely her fault, that while she could've done better, there's no way she could've known what her actions would cause, and yet…

Isn't it?

Even Junpei dares not tread on whatever thin ice is circling Yuuki.

The exams days slowly fly by, and the air around him is frigid cold. He just stops speaking to everyone else altogether, maybe replying with a word or two when prompted for more than twice. She doesn't know about the others, but every time he looks at her, she could see fear in his eyes, and that squeezes and tugs at her heart even more.

It must've been how he's felt when she stared at him during the Full Moon.

And when it's time to leave for Yakushima, by whatever god there is, she's stuck sitting right next to him during their van ride towards the harbor, and she could feel the girls' eyes on her, especially Fuuka.

She gives them a strained smile before settling down, careful not to brush Yuuki's arm as he looks out the window with a constant scowl on his face, his earphones blasting music at max volume. She thinks he might be trying to drown out something, but she doesn't know what. She just watches him for a while longer before coming to terms with her fate and goes about watching the scenery.

When they arrive, they slowly pull their belongings out of the back of the van. The boat they are going to use will arrive in maybe ten minutes, so they aren't in that much of a hurry.

Yukari is surprised when he hands her her bag. She blinks stupidly a few times before taking it from his arms, still careful not to touch him, and murmurs. "Thanks."

He only nods before going back to unloading the bags.

"Man," Junpei murmurs from beside her as they watch Yuuki unloading, no one (not even Kirijou) dares to get close. After a pause, he continues. "…This sucks."

"You think?" She half-growls at him, clenching her hands into fists. "It's my fault, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Yukari-cchi," He begins, a careful hand on her shoulder. "You didn't know. You tried to help him. It ain't your fault."

"Isn't it, though?" She breathes, feeling a twinge in her heart as she repeats the words he spoke to her. She knows she is not entirely to blame, but her heart is not letting that go. She lets out a broken laugh before murmuring. "This must be how Yuuki-kun felt, huh…?"

"I'd think so," He says, pulling his hand away. "At least… I think he's just afraid, is all. I'm sure he'll come around. The guy's tough, after all."

"I hope so, too."

The wind feels nice against her skin.

The trip would take maybe an hour, so she's got some time to forget about things (she also tries to ignore Junpei grilling Yuuki about not having a swimsuit on him). She shakes her head again, focusing her eyes on the waves as they crash against each other. The sounds of seagulls and the parting ocean soothing her nerves somewhat.

She ignores the sound of footsteps approaching, keeping her eyes on the horizon. She isn't even sure what she's supposed to do, but she'd take Fuuka's advice and tries to wind down as much as she could. There's no point running head-first into things if she's going to end up worsening the situation again.

But then someone calls her, making her freezes on the spot.

"Takeba."

Yuuki's voice is soft, pensive, and a little broken. She turns to see him standing not too far, but out of her reach, with hands in pockets and the earphones on his ears. Her brain crashes for a few seconds before she stammers out. "Uh… can I help you?"

"Can we talk?"

Just three words. It's the three words that she hasn't though possible for Yuuki to say after more than week-long silence, and his pained expression and the way he tenses up while speaking to her is just… not helping.

"…Sure," She murmurs, keeping a close eye on him.

He walks over, seemingly watchful of her actions as he makes his way towards the railing two steps away from her. He places his arms on the railing and lets his head tip forward slightly, his eyes glued to the white foams that keep forming and disappearing. Yukari could only look at him as he works his jaw, her attempts at initiating conversation fail even before they get the chance to start.

Then, he murmurs, "How's…?"

He just cuts himself off, but he's looking at her with creases between his brows, his hand lightly touching his own throat. She unconsciously mimics his action, and it takes her a moment to formulate an answer inside her head. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

He just looks at her with relief in his expression as he nods, turning his gaze back towards the distant sea. "…That's good."

She wants to apologize, to say that she's sorry, but that little voice is saying that she shouldn't do that… and she'd be an idiot if she brushes the voice off this time. Instead, she just lets the silence blankets them for a while longer.

She opens her mouth a few times, only to shoot her own questions down, again and again. In the end, she only manages out a meager, "How are you?"

He would usually answer with a "fine" or something along that line in a heartbeat. This time, however, he doesn't reply right away, taking a moment to bite on his own tongue.

After a while, he says quietly. "Couldn't sleep."

That's better than she had hoped. "Nightmares?"

For the first time in nearly two weeks, he smiles, no matter how painful or dry it looks. He closes his eyes and exhales. "Flashbacks."

She winces. "You mean when you…"

"That," He nods in confirmation, his hands trembling slightly. She wants to hold them, but she knows she shouldn't. But then, he continues. "And… the times from when I was younger."

"…I won't pry," She says quietly, tugging the stray strands of hair back behind her ear. "But if you want someone to talk about it… I'll be there."

"Okay," He says with a small smile. "Thank you."

The pause is not as heavy as the last one, and she'll take it. She wants to ask questions, to pry more, to force him to open up, but she knows that's not the way to handle things. He's been through more than she knows, so at the very least, she should let him set his own pace.

To her surprise, she doesn't have to wait long, but to her horror, the direction the topic is going is not something she could ever hope to be able to brace her heart for.

"I have killed people before, you know."

"…What?"

He just gives her a broken smile before he stands up straight, his hands on his side – she catches a glimpse of something under his watch, but she isn't sure what. His skin is slightly reddened, but—

He looks up at the sky and closes his eyes before walking away, leaving her alone to her thoughts once more.

That revelation about her father is breaking down her world into a thousand pieces, and she's already at the beach before she knows it.

She couldn't stop shaking. She couldn't stop thinking about all his love (his lies), and before she could do anything, the sobs are already threatening their ways up her throat. She chokes them back down, but she fails to reign in her tears as they start to collect at the corner of her eyes.

She registers slow, soft footsteps from behind her. She isn't really surprised – running off like this must've worried them, and they're sending someone to get her.

"I'm fine," She murmurs, hugging herself harder. "I'll be fine, I'll go back when I'm ready."

Whoever it is just takes a few steps closer, standing only a few meters away from her. The sound stops, and the only thing surrounding them is the sound of the crashing waves.

After a while, he speaks, "I'm here."

She whirls around to see Yuuki looking at her with a small, sad smile. They stare at each other for a while before she tears her eyes away, returning them to the dark sea before her.

"…I believed in him for so long… this is too much…!"

She won't cry. She can't—not now, not in front of anyone.

"Do you remember… what I told you at the hospital? How my dad died when I was little?" She murmurs, hands fisting the hem of her shirts. She doesn't wait for him to answer, however. "You understand now, right? He died in that incident. There were lots of rumors, because no one knows the truth. He was in charge of the research team, so people were… really not kind towards me and mom. We even have to move a few times."

He doesn't say anything, instead walking a bit closer until he's standing beside her. She looks up at his eyes, to see the kind, gentle light she has never have the chance to witness before. He only smiles, staying silent. But his actions convey enough; If you want to, you can talk to me.

She inhales. "All this time, I kept telling myself that it wasn't his fault. I really loved him, you know? And I… believed that he'd never do anything wrong. Even the letter I got in spring… it was all about me, even though he wrote 'to my family' on it, it made me believe in him even more. Because of those, when I found out I can fight, I cooperated with the Kirijou Group to find out about my father."

She digs her nails into her palms.

"It turns out, that was all for nothing."

"…Anything that has already happened, is always a good thing."

"…Huh?"

"It's a phrase I heard from someone long ago," He murmurs, keeping his eyes on the horizon. She watches, a bit of anger bubbling in her throat, but it feels like there's something she needs to hear, so she listens. He closes his eyes briefly before looking up at the crescent moon. "Nothing happened without a reason, and the thing that did, even if it looked grim and bleak… might turn out to be either a good lesson, or even a good thing."

"What's this, you trying to cheer me up?" She says with a broken laugh. "You suck."

"I tried," He whispers.

She turns to look at him fully, and he returns her gaze with is own. The warm, gentle smile on his feature is making her heart flutters, but she ignores it. Instead, she mumbles. "Reality is really harsh. I tried so hard to fight my fear, and this is all I got… maybe that's why I'm jealous of Kirijou-senpai. I mean, why my father, and not hers?"

She pauses.

When Yuuki says nothing, she doesn't really know what to do. "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

For the first time in forever, he chuckles. It's the closest thing to a laugh she's ever heard. He then shakes his head. "No. That's just how people are, Takeba."

"…You really are Mr. Perfect, huh? Nothing seems to faze you. It's like you're trying to tell me what to feel when you don't know anything!"

And she immediately regrets saying that.

A lot of things do, she's seen that first hand. Why would her mouth have to be so quick to snap and snark, when all he's been doing is listening to and comforting her? Is it not enough to send him into a few panic attacks and flashback episodes, reminding him of his own traumas?

She bites back the shame crawling up to the tip of her tongue. "I'm sorry. I—"

He simply shakes his head again. "It's okay. I know."

"…I'm scared," She finally admits, to him, to herself. Her voice is breaking, and her tears are coming out, but she just couldn't care anymore. "I'm scared, and I don't know what to do…!"

"It's okay to be scared," He says, his voice firm, pulling her out of her own helplessness. She looks as he keeps his eyes on hers. After a moment, he walks a bit closer, his eyes mindful of her movements. She doesn't move, so he comes face-to-face with her. "Not knowing what to do is normal. Look at me; I don't know what I'm doing half the time."

She laughs a little at that. "Is that so? You really are one of a kind, Yuuki-kun."

"I know," He smiles before opening his arms slightly.

Yukari just blinks. He's… offering her a hug.

Even though he doesn't like being touched, even though he's been avoiding everyone for the past two weeks, even after she's hurt him... when she needs it most, he is offering her a hug.

She walks closer, unsure, before she stops a few centimeters from his chest. After a moment of hesitation, she leans in and puts her arms around him, pressing her ear against his chest, listening to his beating heart. He holds her in a kind embrace, patting her head softly.

She allows herself to cry.

"Thank you…! And I'm sorry…!"

"I'm here," He says again, his voice soft and soothing as she holds him tighter still. "I'll be here whenever you need me to, Takeba."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, the voice hums.

This is how it should be.

Alright! That's done! How was it, folks?

And on an off note, I think this will end up, hm, 25? 26 chapters? Yeah, sorta. See you again soon!