Hellu! So... for those who've asked, it's pretty clear on the front of the story that this is a ShuYaku fic. Just sayin'.

Anyways, here's another!

XIV: Temperance From Fear

Temperance: Middle Path, Patience, Finding Meaning

Reversed Temperance: Extremes, Excess, Lack Of Balance

Even with him here, her fear of his death still lingers.

Holding him in her arms is the solid proof that yes, he's still alive, he's still here, and he's not going away from her. But then, when night comes, and when the sandman beckons, she would dream of him in the pool of his own blood, drowning, gasping, dying… slowly, painfully, unavoidably. And then when she wakes up, she would seek him out, and he would readily open the door and then she'd hold him in her arms again, as proof that he's still alive.

The foreboding feeling never leaves. It's always right around the corner, shadow looming and creeping up closer, and it'll catch her if she looks away for even a second. It's always there, it never leaves, it doesn't give a damn about anything but crawling its way into her head and driving her up the wall. She wants it gone, but it never does, like a shadow that follows her every step against her wishes.

And here, again, even almost two weeks after his discharged, she finds herself in front of his room, her hands cold and trembling, and her breath shaky. She doesn't want to bother him every night like this, but she doesn't know how else to stop it. She raises her hand to knock at the door, and sure enough, it opens with barely any delay.

Makoto watches her closely, and stops asking any questions after maybe three nights of her coming to his room unannounced. He steps away from the door, and she walks in, a bit unsure. She thinks she might not have much sleep since then, but she just couldn't rest. Sleeping means dreaming, most of the time, and no matter her condition when she goes to bed, the dreams always wind up the same, with him bloodied and broken and gasping and—

"Yukari," He whispers, jolting her out of her own convoluted thoughts. She looks up, and he's smiling, a hand caressing her cheek. A bandage around his neck, she notes, as he pulls her into a hug. She grabs fistfuls of his shirt (he's still in the SEES uniform) and buries her face into his shoulder, shaking, again. She hates this feeling. The powerlessness and the fact that Death is everywhere scares her.

"What happened to your neck?" She asks, fingers tugging lightly at the bandage. He pulls back slightly and leads her towards his bed before sitting her down. He then undoes his bowtie and unbuttons the few uppermost ones.

"Got burnt during the climb," He says, undoing the white fabric and revealing reddened skin. "Kirijou-senpai took care of it, don't worry. Bandaged it up so the friction won't be painful."

"Okay," She mumbles, reaching a hand to touch his throat, carefully avoiding the burn. He smiles at her before pulling her hand away and pressing it against his cheek, his right hand misshapen and just—

"Hey," He brings her out of her musing again, his gaze gentle but firm as he breathes. "You saved my life and my hand, Yukari. The deformity isn't that much, so please, don't blame yourself."

"…If you say so," She nods, curling her fingers slightly and briefly wondering how their positions change from her comforting him to the other way around so quickly like this. She supposes… being near death and witnessing it would do that to people.

She quietly takes off his SEES armband, and then his blazer, throwing them onto his desk. She then puts her hand on his chest and leans in until he's holding her, feeling his heart thudding under her palm, his breath ghosting on her skin, his body heat against her own. She lets out a shaky breath as she holds him loosely, resting her head on his chest (scarred and so, so broken) and pressing her ear against it to hear his heartbeat.

She has no idea what's wrong with her, but she can't shake the dread off. She's afraid, and she feels like, if she lets go now, he'll disappear, he'll go away and never return. She bites her lip as she holds him a bit closer. They haven't entered Tartarus together for a while now, only because of her conditions (she hates being left out like this, and it's no one's fault but hers and hers alone), since he's keeping a keen eye on everyone.

She just wants to stay close. She doesn't want to let go. She wants to get rid of this feeling of dread and powerlessness, and she can't. "…I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just—"

"I know," He whispers into her ear, hand patting the back of her head lightly. She feels him kissing the crown of her head, and hums in respond. It feels nice and warm. "I used to be like this, too."

She looks up. "You do?"

"Mhm," He hums, placing both hands over her cheeks, his thumb brushing just under her eye. "The difference is, I didn't seek help from people, but by cutting myself up. You're stronger than me, to be able to find help from someone else."

She whimpers at the knowledge that yes, he used to do that before. But she hasn't seen or felt a new wound in a while now, so it seems like he's better and maybe even over it. She just pulls back and looks down as he takes both of her hands in his and grips them gingerly. When she looks up, she's met with that gentle smile that never fails to take her breath away from her.

"It's okay to be scared of dreams or feeling of dread that's unexplained. It's similar to anxiety attack, and speaking from experience? You just have to accept the fact that yes, there's a possibility that I'll be injured or worse again."

She whimpers. The grip on her hands tightened.

"But, you have to know that it's just a possibility, not an impending doom. It won't happen just because. I will not allow myself to fall that easily. Okay?"

She nods. She knows their works are hazardous, but she has to accept the fact that it this sense of dread and of approaching doom is improbable, not set in stone. She sighs. "…Okay. Thanks, Makoto."

"Don't mention it," He murmurs with a smile. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

"Yeah."

It'll be okay. Everything's going to be okay.

The Moonlight Bridge during the Dark Hour is creepy as hell.

She spies Makoto talking with Sanada, Aragaki and Amada. She isn't sure what the contents of their conversations are, but judging from the way he'd look around with his hand tense and ready around his Evoker tells her that he'll looking out for maybe Strega, since their involvements last time signals them that they at least can guess where the SEES would be.

Once whatever conversation he was having is done, he turns to the rest of them and claps his hands once to draw their attentions towards him. Once they all do, he looks up towards the sky and the Shadow hovering above. "Alright, get ready, everyone. In case Strega appears, these three will take charge. The rest of you are with me against the Hanged Man."

They all nod.

As soon as they approach the Hanged Man, Makoto is the first to act, deftly putting the Evoker to his temple and calls, "Arahabaki!"

The claydoll statue appears not against the Hanged Man, but behind them. She whips around and hears the sound of bullets scratching against the barrier erected not a second prior.

Aragaki growls. "I guess the Shadow appearing on the fucking bridge is kind of a dead giveaway, huh."

"It is," The voice calls from afar. As they walk closer, Takaya seems angrier than usual, with Jin being just about the same (however her limited experience of them both might be). The leader, with his right arm but a stump, says, "I thought I killed you."

"You did not," Makoto says nonchalantly, a sly smile on his face as if to provoke the other. It's a new look that makes her a bit uneasy. "Unfortunately for you, I'm still alive. And in quite a bit of pain thanks to you."

"At least yer didn't get away scotch-free," Jin calls, pointing at the Leader with ire. "I'mma kill ya right 'ere and now!"

"Fat chance, you maniacs!" Aragaki bellows. "You all go fight the Hanged Man! The three of us got this. Chiron!"

Rearing and roaring is the armored centaur, majestic yet wild, thundering hooves scalloping against the hard concrete. Yukari wastes maybe a few seconds too long to admire its majesty. Unlike Castor, it seems much more stable, and more powerful.

"Go!" Aragaki snaps them out of their thoughts as Sanada and Amada bring out their own other selves. "We'll take them on!"

"I'll leave them to you!" Makoto says before running towards the Shadow, his Evoker already back to his temple. Before they could've done anything, he calls out another Persona. "Thor!"

She ignores the sounds of the three male members going against Strega and focuses on the Hanged Man before her, its dangling form shifting away from bolts after bolts of lightning. Makoto is barking orders again, and she has to comply.

The three statues are keeping the thing in the air, so the rest of them have to destroy it first. Koromaru charges forward with Cerberus, spouting flames that soon turns to blizzard and roaring blaze again as Kirijou and Junpei join the fray. She keeps an eye out for each of their conditions, her Evoker shaken but ready in her grip.

Then she's brought out of her focus when she hears sounds of maybe… metal clashing? She looks up to see the Hanged Man flying into another Persona she has never seen before and knocking it away. She doesn't think anything much of it until the Persona is sent flying right into Makoto.

"Makoto!" She calls out, a bit panicked.

He gives her a thumbs up and fires his Evoker again before saying through the sounds of ice and fire and explosions. "Don't worry about me and keep an eye on them! I'll bring the Hanged Man to you!"

She wants to retort, but bites it back down and nods. As much as she hates it, during battle, when he says he can do it, then he will.

When she conjures wind right under the statue and knocking it down, she hears the same sound again, and this time the Shadow is sent tumbling into the ground. Makoto runs through the smoke from the other side, disheveled but still uninjured, as he pulls the trigger again. "Siegfried!"

"Palladion!" Aigis cries. She sees Kirijou and Junpei doing the same, but she's almost out, so she saves herself in case of emergency.

It takes only a few hits of their combined attacks to bring the Shadow down and turn it to dust.

"Aragaki-senpai!" Makoto calls out and runs a bit past her, but soon stops when he sees Chiron, in all its glory, throwing Moros away. "You okay!?"

"We're fine!" The older man says, and the three of them retreat away from the noxious fumes. "Fuck Takaya and fuck his Persona. They just jumped off the fucking bridge."

"We'll deal with that later," Makoto says, turning to her and offering her a hand. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," She says and takes his hand, pulling herself up. "How're you?"

"A bit sore," He admits before looking at everyone, and after a short sigh, says, "Roll call. If you have any injuries, come to me or Yukari."

"So," She says after they start checking and patting themselves. She keeps his hand in hers, just in case, before continuing. "This is it, right? The Dark Hour is finally over?"

"Yeah."

She looks up at his emotionless tone, and sees him frowning slightly. He's looking at where the Shadow fell, and his eyes follow a strange glint of blue that seems to float away into the distance. She tugs at his hand a little. "Makoto? What is it?"

"Mm? Oh, nothing," He says with a thin smile as he takes her towards the group, ignoring Junpei, who's saying something about celebrating. She gives him another glare, and upon seeing that, he only pats her head. "I'm serious, I just thought that it's finally over and we can live normally again."

"…You're not lying, are you?" She inquires.

He shakes his head.

"Fine," She mumbles, before interjecting Junpei, a grin on her face. "I'll take the fatty tuna!"

"I call for Tekkamaki," Makoto adds.

"Dude, not you, too!" Junpei moans.

They laugh.

It's finally over. She can finally get rid of that dread burning in her stomach.

Everything's okay now. They're all fine.

She doesn't have to be afraid anymore.

Everything goes to hell the next day.

Kirijou's father's shot, Ikutsuki's dead, Aigis is a little broken, and the Dark Hour is not over.

She doesn't know what to do.

And Makoto looks like he's deep in thoughts. He hasn't spoken to anyone since, not to her, not to Aragaki. His brows are always knotted together, and it would take her maybe two or three attempts to get a response out of him, a response that's usually no more than a sentence long.

Kirijou has to disappear to take care of the state at the Kirijou Group, too. But since the Dark Hour and Tartarus still stand, Sanada had suggested that they trained there to get ready for whatever. She agrees, albeit a bit reluctantly. Fighting against something nobody has an idea what is a scary thought; she's fine fighting Shadows, but to what end?

And then, Fuuka gives her the CD of the untampered recordings. She wants to watch it, but… she really wants someone (him) to see this with her. But from the way he locks himself up in his room, it seems like he's already has much on his plate. She thinks it might be better to watch it later.

With a dejected sigh, she decides to head down to the kitchen instead. Tugging the CD into her sweater in a dim hope that maybe she'll get to watch it later, she makes her way down the familiar steps and towards the ground floor. Eating might calm her nerve down a little—

Then, she hears someone snarls.

"…uld've told all of you!"

She hears something hitting the floor. Most of the dorm residents are already back in their rooms after the meeting, so who—

"Yuuki, calm do—"

"I saw it coming!" She hears Makoto hisses, and is downstairs enough to see him punching the wall hard. Aragaki winces, and Koromaru whines, ears drooping down. Makoto then rests his forehead against the concrete. "I was fucking right this whole time. Something always felt off – why would Ikutsuki-san knew how to stop the Dark Hour, and if so, why hadn't he tried to do anything about it yet? And then all of the Shadows! It's too damn easy!"

"Look, I and Aki have suspicions like you do," Aragaki says, both arms up. He grabs Makoto carefully and spins him around. "It's not your responsibility to bear. We were all blind-sided."

"Still…" He whispers, his shoulders shaking. "If I had been a bit more cautious, or asked more questions, I might've…"

"I don't think it'll change the outcome anyway," Aragaki sighs, patting his head. "You always do everything wrong in hindsight. Trust me, I know this best."

Makoto takes in a few deep breaths before nodding, hands wiping at his face. "…Okay. Okay. Fuck, and here I thought everything's over and done with."

"Fat chance, kid, with how lucky you are with everything," Aragaki snorts before reaching for a few frozen meals inside the fridge. "Come on, eat up before you go to bed. And you too, Takeba."

She winces at her name. Makoto turns around to look at her for a long moment before smiling a little. His knuckles are a bit red and caked with a little blood —blood that he quickly wipes on his pants. He stands up straight and props himself down onto the chair. The older man just shrugs before heating up the meals with a grunt.

"…Makoto, are you okay?" She asks, pensive. He looks like he's already calmed down, somewhat, but the frown isn't gone yet.

"I'm fine, don't worry," He groans. "I just need some time to cool down."

"At least your tendency to blame every single damn thing on yourself is less, and you're able to control your thoughts more," Aragaki comments, bringing the plates to them and sitting down beside Makoto, a hand on his head, ruffling at his hair. "You've made lots of progress."

"Being near death and having people I love and care about would do that, I guess," He murmurs, still burying his face into his hands. "God, this sucks."

"My sentiment exactly," Aragaki mutters. "Now eat up, you two, before the Dark Hour hits. Eating while the sky's fucking green ain't fun, trust me. Been there, done that."

"Okay."

They go back to their rooms after the meal, with Aragaki throwing them a stink eye when he realized that she isn't ascending to her own floor, but letting it slide regardless.

They settle down in the manner that they always do, with him on the chair, and her hogging his hand to herself, playing it, feeling it. His right hand's… well, its deformity is much more noticeable now that it's in her hands, with her fingers running along its surface, mapping it, shaping it.

"Are you okay now?" She asks quietly after a moment, referring to the outburst she witnessed downstairs.

"I'm alright. Aragaki-senpai did talk some sense into me," He replies, curling his fingers slightly. She hums and pushes them back open. He pauses, frowning, before saying a bit quieter. "I'm… kind of worried of what we should do next."

That makes her stop cold. The fear she's been able to push down is starting to come up again, and she feels physically sick just thinking about it.

She shakes her head a little before tasting the words on her tongue. Then, slowly, she says. "I'm scared, too."

He doesn't say anything, but reassures her with a gentle touch on her fingers and a soft, warm smile on his face. After a moment, he glances towards the desk, and murmurs. "…You brought something here with you. What is it?"

She makes a surprised noise before remembering herself. She isn't sure if she should bring it up now or not, since she could wait for a better time – he had just blamed himself for the mess yesterday, after all. But he's looking at her with concern, with worry, for her. She just knows he's not worrying about himself anymore, and she also knows him well enough that he's not going to be satisfied with a deflection.

Yukari sighs before sitting up, pulling at his hand lightly. He tilts his head to the side, confused. With a small smile, she reaches her hand to his cheek, brushing away the stray strands of dark blue before murmuring. "It's… the recording from before, from the incidents ten years ago. Fuuka gave it to me just earlier, and I thought I'd want to have your company when I watch. But you already have so much you need to think about right now, so I'll just—"

"It's okay," He cuts her off, as gentle as he always is, as he pulls her hand away from his cheek and kisses the back of it. "Let's watch it now."

"But—"

"—Yukari, if my hunch is right, this is something worth watching now rather than later," He says with a smile, stopping her from protesting completely.

"…I'm kinda glad you're not the forceful type. I don't know how I can ever refuse that look of yours," She mumbles. He has a genuine look in his eyes, a gentle smile on his lips. That, and his stern yet kind voice does not make it easy to even consider declining an option.

He laughs, the sound so bright and so soft, before he stands up and pulls out his laptop. After a moment of fidgeting, he walks over, sitting down on the bed beside her, his notebook on his lap. He then glances her way, a hand finding hers yet again, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "I'm ready whenever you are."

She nods.

The video stutters and comes to life, the images broken and blurry, but the voices – or rather, a voice – is clear enough to be heard and understood through the statics. And she intently listens—

—To come to know that, indeed, her father was trying to prevent the Fall, all along.

"Dad…" She mumbles, her hands clutching his hand tighter, the video long since reaching its end. She's crying to the black screen, to herself, happy that he's still the father she's always known and loved. She wipes away her tears and says with a smile. "Dad, I'm okay. It took me a while, but… it finally reaches me, your message, your love."

Makoto puts his arm around her, gently reassuring her that he's still here. She scoots a little closer to him as she continues to cry—believing in him has always been right.

There's something shifting and changing inside as she makes a promise to herself, to her father, that she'll fight against the Dark Hour, like he used to. She'll fight it, and she'll make sure to end it, no matter what. It's her father's wish, and so, she's going to make it hers.

Thy resolution has reached mine soul.

I am Thou, Thou art I.

Leten mine wings bring forth the gale that would guide thee ever forward.

I am Isis, the storm created from thy will.

She blinks, looking up, the name strange yet oddly familiar to her tongue.

To her surprise, he seems to have sensed this change, as his lips curl up just a bit more, and his free hand finds hers, bringing it to his lips as he kisses it lightly. "…Congratulations, Yukari."

"Idiot," She mumbles, leaning her head against his shoulder and sighing happily.

There's no longer the cloud of doubt in her mind, now. She will see this through, for her father's sake, for her own… and for Makoto's, too.

After silent moments of her leaning against him, and him soothing her with sweet murmurs and gentle touches, she decides to stay in his room tonight.

The smell and the feel of his bed is just like his kiss — like coffee and moonlight and fallen snow, cold but not biting, gentle, and always welcoming. She snuggles just a little closer, her arm around his torso, her head neatly tugged just under his chin as his breath tickles the crown of her head. The only sound that occupies the room is the soft, constant ticks of his clock, slow and steady, as if to lull her to sleep.

"I'm glad my hunch was right," He murmurs quietly, drawing a small giggle out of her. "And I'm glad you get to see what he's left for you."

"Me too," She murmurs. "Thank you for watching it with me."

"It's my pleasure."

"I'm sure we'll be fine now," She murmurs against his chest as it rises and falls slowly. She could feel the rumbling under her ear as he acknowledges her, so she continues, finger drawing little lines on the scars that are mostly painless, now. "You'll be there with me all the way, right?"

"If I'm able, then yes," He says softly. When she lets out a disapproving growl, he laughs, sending the rumbling right into her brain. "I'll do my best, Yukari. Don't worry."

She hums. She still doesn't like the way he'd seem so roundabout, when it comes to discussing his ultimate survival, which now looks as probable as it could've been. She doesn't understand why he'd be so reserved to promise such thing, but since he already did, then she guesses it's okay.

She then glances up a little. "Are you sure you're alright now? With everything that's been going on?"

He only nods. He looks like he's about to say something, but he suddenly winces and jerks a bit backward, an eye closed, a hand on his face. She's up in an instant, hovering over him, her hand on his before pulling it away from his face. He blinks a few times, his frown deepening.

"Are you alright?" She asks, touching his face lightly before tugging a strand of hair behind his ear.

"I'm fine, just…" He trails off, his eyes narrowing for a bit before he makes a noise that sounds between a strangled cat and a surprised yelp. She tilts her head to the side, and is about to ask more when he says with more reluctance. "…Headache."

"You're totally lying," She accuses. "You paused way too long there."

"I just blacked out for a second," He says, holding up a hand. "I'm honest. Like a migraine or something."

She scowls. "If you lie to me, I swear to god I'm going to punch you."

"Cross my heart," He says, pulling her hand away from his face and kissing her fingers lightly. "Just a little headache. I'll be fine."

She looks at him for a long while. A tiny part of her thinks he's totally lying, but the genuine look in his eyes is saying otherwise. So she sighs a little. "If you say so."

He hums before resting his hand in the crook of her neck again, thumb touching at the edge of her choker, sending pleasant shiver down her spine. She exhales as he whispers. "Let's just go to sleep. We can't do much thinking about it now."

"True," She murmurs. "…Goodnight, Makoto."

"Goodnight. And sweet dreams."

At least her fear is tempered, somewhat. But it's there, in the back of her head, hissing, growling.

She just hopes that everything will be okay.

Of course nothing is going to be okay, since this is a angsty fic :P See you guys later!