Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. I do not own any of the character, places, names, or anything associated with the works of J.R.R Tolkien or the Lord of the Rings (books or movie, whatever). My characters are Anita, Leila, and Arlandria and that is all.
Chapter 35: Daylight
Anita sat on her bedroom balcony, curled up in an overstuffed chair, her long slender fingers wrapped around a mug of warm tea. The sun had sunk below the mountains and twilight cast itself over the valley of Imladris like a blanket, with only a few of the brightest stars able to peek through the sinking light. More than anything, Ani loved the silence that came with this betwitching hour between day and nightfall, when all of the noise of life during the day faded out before the creatures of the night had been roused from sleep.
More than ever before her room had become her own little pocket of solace, far away from the judgmental looks from the other people living in Rivendell. Oh yes, word had spread like wildfire of what had happened between Ani and Legolas; it seemed there was nothing Elves loved more than some good gossip. She was used to looks of condescension and haughtiness, but the looks she got now were ones of pity…and just the thought of being pitied made the girl's stomach churn. But here, sitting in the quiet calm of dusk, there was no one to pity her; just her own heavy thoughts to smother her.
A knock at the door drew Ani's focus away from the landscape spread before her. "Come in," she said, knowing that whoever was on the other side of the door could hear her just fine without the need to raise her voice. She didn't need to turn around when the door opened, instinctually she knew who had just walked into her bedroom even before the door closed behind him. Anita didn't turn to look at him when Legolas came to join her out on the balcony, she could see him just fine out of the corner of her eye; and the rest of her body was painfully aware of his proximity to her. Tension crept its way up her spine and she felt herself stiffen uncomfortably. There was a moment of silence that's stretched on awkwardly as Legolas leaned against the railing on the opposite end of the small terrace.
"We depart tomorrow morning, I thought it best to take the opportunity to explain myself to you." Hearing his voice made her already stiff muscles tense up even further, and the sharp pain in her chest struck again leaving her panicky and shaking.
Anita swallowed thickly, trying without much success to moisten her suddenly dry throat. "You don't have to do that."
"I feel as though I should."
The tension in Ani's muscles snapped and without warning she sprung out of her chair like a jack in the box. "No really, you don't. We didn't have that kind of relationship, you don't owe me anything." Her contempt was thinly veiled as she snarled her response before sweeping back into her bedroom, leaving a stunned Legolas alone on the balcony. It was at that moment that the prince understood the damage that his lies had done to their relationship. Out of everyone in Ani's life, Legolas was the one person that could recognize the walls that she constructed around her heart. Walls that he had painstakingly helped to tear down, brick by emotional brick seven summers ago. And now he was trapped back outside those walls, rebuilt for the specific purpose of keeping him out. It felt like the first day he had met her all over again.
When the shock of her sharp words wore off, Legolas followed her into the room. "Ani I lied to you, I betrayed your trust. My intention was always to tell you the truth about the Ring and the quest to destroy it." Anita had stalked across the room and set her mug on her vanity watching Legolas through the mirror as he continued to talk. "But the look in your eyes that day when you asked if I too were going; you were afraid for me, it was written all over your face. I couldn't ask you to bear that burden of fear for me, so I chose to conceal the truth. And unintentionally I hurt you." He had closed the gap between them as he came to stand beside her, tentatively taking her limp hand which hung at her side in his much larger hand. The unexpected touch caused Ani to turn her head and catch his eye.
Ani still wasn't as practiced as other elves in hiding her feelings, and for just a second Legolas caught a flash of vulnerability in her eyes which caused him to hope. Hope that maybe forgiveness wasn't so far out of his reach. He could see beyond the hurt and fear, and there he saw mirrored the same longing and desire to put this whole mess aside that he harbored within. But trust wasn't something that was easily rebuilt with Anita once it was lost. In the same moment he saw the vulnerable side of her, it was gone again in a flash; hidden behind those barriers meant to keep herself from getting hurt. Seeing her slipping away Legolas desperately grasped at the fading forgiveness in her eyes, "Anita I never meant to hurt you."
But it was already gone. Any sense of clemency that had been there before was now safely held captive deep inside, far beyond where Legolas' pleading could get to it. Ani pulled her hand free from the prince's grasp and set her jaw firmly before narrowing her eyes at him. "You didn't. Now please leave, I don't feel well and wish to retire to bed for the night."
Legolas nodded his head in secession, knowing that any further begging on his part would fall on deaf ears tonight. Reaching into the front pocket of his tunic, the young elf produced a tiny velvet draw string bag, which could have easily been confused for a ladies small coin purse. Without a word he set the blue velvet bag, which appeared so light it could have been empty, on Anita's vanity, stepping forward as he did so to further shrink the gap between them. Their bodies were within inches of each other, if Ani had leaned too far to her left she would have been resting against his frame. Anita's eyes followed the bag as it was set down before she turned her eyes back to Legolas' blank face searching for a clue. As their eyes locked, Legolas dipped his head as if to kiss her; and again Anita's inner desire betrayed her when her face turned upward to meet his kiss. But instead of planting a kiss on her lips, Legolas leaned close to her ear to whisper intimately.
"I have forever to wait for your forgiveness milady." Without waiting for her reply, Legolas straightened up and walked out of the room, knowing in his heart that Anita wasn't lost to him forever. Somewhere inside that stubborn heart of hers was the hope of absolution from his wrong doings. And even if she didn't forgive him straightway, there was the chance that she would be here waiting upon his return from destroying the Ring.
Anita remained where she was standing, partially stunned by her bodies response by just being near him. With Legolas out of the room, Ani's eyes traveled back to the little bag left behind on her vanity. Just for the sake of being obstinate, she refused to open it. But no sooner had she decided against looking inside the bag than her curiosity started to eat at her. Defiantly she stalked across her room and climbed into the oversized bed against the opposite wall, determined that she didn't care what he had left behind.
The girl didn't sleep a wink that night, the voices in her head waging a battle far too loudly to sleep through. One voice in her head focused on the happy memories she shared with the prince along with all the strong and unfamiliar emotions he drew from inside her. Another needed only to remind her of the feeling of ultimate betrayal that had struck her and rendered her breathless and catatonic when she discovered his lies. The third and final voice joining the royal rumble in her skull was content to point out that it didn't matter either way because her relationship with Legolas had been purely physical. It seemed easier to listen to the last voice and believe there had been nothing emotional between them, to pretend that Legolas hadn't worked his way into her heart where he could do the most damage. But that night after Ani had killed those goblins when Legolas had held her close to chase the inner demons away; it would have been foolish to say there wasn't a deeper emotional connection between them.
For hours the argument waged on, with no one point of view coming out the clear winner. By the time the night had waned into day and the horizon began to turn the telltale color of the rising sun, Ani had stretched her nerves to their emotional limit. Every fiber of her was frayed and distressed after her night of inner turmoil, which was only made worse by the fact that she hadn't gotten a single moment of rest. Just as well, she knew that the group who had volunteered to go to Mordor, Legolas included, were leaving today. Anita could only hope that putting some miles between herself and the elf that she was losing sleep over would help her sort out the issue. With a heavily irritated sigh, Ani rolled out of bed before the sun had fully made its way up over the horizon. It was to her deepest chagrin that she was up before the sun, it always felt like living a day in reverse when she witnessed both a sunset and sunrise without any sleep between. She took her time bathing and washing her hair, hoping to stay in her room until after Legolas and the rest of the fellowship had left.
Having dressed in a simple tunic and leggings for the day, Ani finally exited the bathroom and beelined for her vanity in search of a strap to tie back her damp hair. Almost immediately her eyes landed on the little velvet bag that Legolas had left behind the night before. The familiar surge of overwhelming curiosity welled up inside her again; and with no sleep on her side after all the tossing and turning she did the night before, Anita knew she had no strength to fight it. Tenderly she picked up the bag by one of the drawstrings. It was incredibly lightweight, leaving the girl to wonder if it was in fact empty and the prince had just left it there to mess with her. Gently working the strings to open the mouth of the bag, Ani still couldn't see anything peeping out from within. Biting the inside of her lip with impatience, she turned the bag on its end and put her other hand out to catch whatever would come out. A tiny shiny circlet finally dropped out of the blue bag, landing squarely in the palm of her open hand. Casting the bag aside, she took the shiny object between her fingers and studied it.
It was a finely crafted piece of jewelry, obviously done by only the most skilled artisan. Silver folded over itself to form the band, creating the design of leafy vines braided together. Evenly spaced between the vines all the way around the circle were amethyst gems, which reflected the early morning light beautifully in shades of purple. This wasn't some meaningless trinket, this would have taken even the best metal worker a great deal of time to carve the tiny leaves and to weave the silver together as it had been done. Ani had never been into romance stories; she had never read a Harlequin romance novel, and she actively avoided watching the romantic movies her sister picked out.
Still….she recognized a promise ring when she saw one.
Anita hadn't even bothered to put shoes on before she was out the door and charging down the hallway at full tilt. In a second, everything she had thought came crashing down around her, and she realized what a terrible mistake she had made the night before in her conversation with Legolas. How stupid could she have been? How blind? Now all Ani could hope was that there would be time to repair the damage. She had always been fast runner, but nothing before compared to the way she tore through the house that morning. Ani couldn't remember if her feet had even touched the stairs as she sprinted for the front gate. As she burst from the front doors of the house and raced down the narrow streets her legs carried her at an incredible speed to her destination, and she prayed to whatever cosmic being would hear her that she wasn't too late. But as she rounded the final curve in the path, she felt her stomach drop to her feet as she realized she didn't see a single member of the group she sought still standing there.
"Wait," She whispered, and then more forcefully as she neared the gate, "Wait! Come back!"
Anita would have kept going too, straight out the door in her pursuit of the prince if a set of strong arms hadn't reached out to grab her, stopping her dead in her tracks. "Come back." She said again weakly, her eyes too focused on the gate to see who had stopped her.
"Anita, what is it?" Elladan released one of her arms to reach up and wipe the wetness from her cheeks, alerting Ani to the fact that she had been crying the whole time she had been running through the town. There was concern written on his face as his eyes wildly searched Ani for any signs of what was causing his child such agony.
"I didn't tell him," She gasped.
"Sweetheart you didn't tell who what?" The last bit of hope which had been fueling Ani- that she might have caught up to him- blew out of her, leaving her feeling weak and unbalanced. She slid from her father grasp, landing on her knees in the dirt, the ring still firmly grasped between her thumb and forefinger.
"I didn't tell him that I loved him."
Daylight- Maroon 5