Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. I do not own any of the character, places, names, or anything associated with the works of J.R.R Tolkien or the Lord of the Rings (books or movie, whatever). My characters are Anita, Leila, and Arlandria and that is all.
Author's Note: Sorry about the wait everyone, had to take a short sabbatical to go and do this crazy thing called getting married ;) but now I am back and ready to write. Per a (much appreciated) request by sieni1 I will be putting the title and artist of the song that inspired the chapter at the beginning of each chapter instead of the end.
Feast of Silence- Azam Ali
Chapter 55: Feast of Silence
Anita swore if she weren't an Elf, she would have already croaked from sleep deprivation. It had actually occurred to her that she would have been dead ten times over if it hadn't been for the varying little gifts bestowed upon her by her heritage; not being reliant on sleep listed among them. The beautiful thing about sleep when she had been human though, besides it being necessary for survival, had been the escape it offered for eight hours every day. She missed that. In the quiet hours of the morning as the elleth waited for the sun to rise, the terrors she had endured the night before turning over and over in her mind, she lamented the fact that sleep no longer held any respite from the stress and troubles of life. Her dreams had been poisoned. So now Ani remained seated on the stairs, her body resting against the stone pillar in the same position she had been while she had spoken to Legolas, counting every second and every minute that led up to dawn breaking. The girl didn't have any answers, in all the hours she had just spent trying to understand the choices and consequences that had led her to this point, she had come up with no answers. Ani had come to a few, perhaps oversimplified, conclusions; firstly, that she was scared out of her mind as to all that she had seen and experienced in the last few months, and secondly that she was in too deep to run back home and hide now. She owed it to Glorfindel, to her family, to the world she had grown up in to stand and fight . She couldn't turn her back now just because she was aware enough of the situation to be scared. The elleth could admit that she had been horribly naïve before, but it was different now; now whatever choices she made she could do so better informed. She knew what they were up against, what the odds really were, and perhaps most importantly she knew what was at stake in all this.
Edoras was slowly coming alive around her, partiers from the night before begrudgingly struggling against their hangovers as the sun began its arch across the sky. No one took any notice of her, and if they did they at least had the sense not to bother her. Anita didn't want to have to leave her little bubble of isolation where people let her alone to sit on the stairs and stare out across the empty waves of golden grass. The elf knew it would be short lived. After her little altercation with Sauron, Ani knew damn well if she didn't go find Gandalf that the white wizard was going to come find her. With a groan, the dark haired elleth pushed herself to her feet and trudged back into the Golden Hall. The building was mostly quiet, all the guests from the night before having already gotten up and begun the monumental task of rebuilding their lives. There were a few people tasked with cleaning up after the festivities who still milled about between the tables; however, most of the room's occupants belonged to her own company. The wizard in question was agitatedly pacing the floor around the center fire pit, the rest of the men standing in a loose circle around the fire. Nearest to her with their back turns were the pair of Hobbits, Merry and Pippin, the latter of the two had his shoulders slumped in either exhaustion or shame, Ani couldn't tell the difference at this point.
Quietly stepping next to the shorter man's side she whispered, " How you doing Pip?"
Both of the Shirefolk started at the sound of her voice , caught completely unaware of her presence. Even Anita managed to forget that her footsteps were too quiet to be heard by others, even though just a few short years ago it had been her that was constantly being snuck up on. Pippin gave the elleth a half-hearted attempt at a smile. "I'll be alright. What about you?"
"I live to fight and die another day." Anita mumbled nonchalantly. It was clear to her through Pippin's body language how the meet-and-greet with Sauron had effected the Hobbit; if Ani had been scared then Pip had been down-right terrified. No sense in feeding into his fear by showing how upset she was at the encounter.
"Lady Anita, thank you for joining us." Even though Gandalf's words said 'thank you' , the snappy way the wizard bit off each word meant anything but that. The girl smiled sickly sweet in response, but chose not to rise to the occasion with any kind of sarcastic retort. The old man continued to speak and pace as though he hadn't interrupted himself to acknowledge her arrival. "We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing: He knows the heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still, strength enough perhaps to challenge him…Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle Earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a king return to the throne of Men."
"Don't suppose we would be lucky enough for them to make the same mistake twice." Anita hadn't meant to say it out loud, it was meant to remain part of an internal dialogue she was having while Gandalf was talking. But now every eye in the room was staring at her, waiting for some kind of explanation for her seemingly random input. "Sauron…I don't suppose we would get lucky and he would make the same mistake that Saruman did at Helm's Deep."
"What mistake are you referring to, child?" Gandalf's ever analyzing gaze pierced her from the other side of the group's circle as he spoke.
"Saruman sent ten thousand Uruks to the gate of the Hornburg, intent of every single one of us dying that night by their blades, and as it turned out ten thousand wasn't enough. I was just thinking that Sauron wouldn't risk a defeat again; in fact last night when we…talked…he sounded all but assured of his victory. He won't send an 'adequate' force, he will send overkill to ensure total victory. Sauron will send ten million if he can spare them."
"No such force exists." Theoden stated flatly, his tone nothing short of condescending.
"That's what you all thought before too about the Uruks." Ani returned sharply, "You were wrong then , and you are probably wrong now. It's safer to assume Sauron will throw every ounce of muscle he has against Gondor."
"Anita is correct in this assumption. If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready to aid their fellow Man, they must be ready for war."
"Tell me…"Theoden started, the expression on his aging face was the first indicator that Anita wasn't going to like where this ended. Smug self-righteousness didn't suit anyone. "Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?"
A moment of stunned silence fell over the group, all of them too horrified at the king's selfishness to form an answer. Anita rolled her eyes and gave a snort, "Coward, " she mumbled mostly to herself…mostly.
Theoden turned a harsh glare upon her, "Is there something you wish to express?"
Anita couldn't prevent herself from laying the lion's share of blame for this whole fiasco at the King's feet. Theoden's ignorance and complacent attitude had cost the lives of hundreds of Men and Elves alike, Glorfindel among them. He was as much to blame in this whole mess as Saruman was for her current plight as far as she was concerned. Anita chewed on the inside of her lip as she took a moment to weigh out her options. "I just think it's interesting , my King," She spat the word 'king' out like it left a bad taste in her mouth, " how you are more than willing to accept help from others when it's your ass on the line, but you won't pay it forward and help anyone else when the roles are reversed."
"You think the decisions I make to protect my people come easily to me?" Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas, all three shot her warning glances across the fire pit even before Theoden had finished posing his question. She knew it was better to keep her mouth shut and play passively for once in her life; there was no reason to actively make an enemy out of the King of Rohan and her companions during a moment of indiscretion. With an audible click of her teeth the young elleth snapped her jaw shut and turned her accusatory scowl away from Theoden, although everyone could see a muscle twitching irritably in her jaw.
"I will go to Gondor." Aragorn said decisively, trying to rein the conversation back to its initial topic.
"No," Gandalf responded without missing a beat.
"They must be warned." The ranger obstinately stated.
"They will be." The white wizard moved to stand close to Aragorn, dropping his voice to give further explanation. Anita was sure that Gandalf only meant for the Ranger to hear what he had to say, but with two Elves standing within a couple feet of him, surely the old sage knew he was going to be overheard. "You must come to Minas Tirith by another road. Follow the river and look to the black ships." That sounded to the elleth like a very ominous fortune cookie. But if that was the way that the Heir of Elendil was returning to Minas Tirith, that meant Legolas and Gimli were going to follow him; the trio had traveled and fought together along the same path now for some time, it didn't appear that would be changing. "Understand this," Gandalf continued, "Things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for the city of Minas Tirith, and I won't be going alone."
The old man's stark blue gaze turned to where Ani was standing with the two Hobbits, and fell distinctly on Pippin. The elleth's head swiveled quickly back and forth between Pippin and Legolas. Her heart's first instinct was to follow the Elven prince down the same path as Aragorn went, but Gandalf and Pip were headed straight to Gondor. Minas Tirith was where Sauron would strike next, and if she had any hope of setting things right and alleviating the night terrors brought about by guilt, she would have to go to Gondor too.
"I'll go with you." She offered hesitantly. Every eye in the room turned on her, scrutiny and disbelief evident in each face that now looked her over curiously.
"Do you believe it to be the best course of action for you to remain away from your home longer? You have fought proudly in defense of this world, perhaps it is time to be contented with what you have done and return to your family." The wizard stepped from his space in the center of the circle to where she was standing. He kept his voice as neutral as possible as he spoke, careful to keep any sense of condescension out of his tone for fear of irritating the girl into a rash decision.
"Any revenge you feel you have found in Minas Tirith will not bring Glorfindel back." Aragorn asserted from across the circle. Anita drew in a sharp breath as she caught the Ranger's stern gaze, and in her heart she knew; everyone was thinking it , it was only Aragorn who had the balls to call her out on it.
"Don't you think I know what?" Ani responded sharply. "Even if I had planned to return to Rivendell, last night changed any chance I had of walking away from this."
The white wizard straightened up when the girl hinted at the incident with the Palantir, especially since he had only heard Pippin's account of what had been seen through the stone. "What did you see in the stone?"
"The exact thing I had been afraid of when we let Saruman live…he told Sauron about the world of my birth, about Tucson and he tried to use it as a bargaining chip when asking about the Ring. When I refused to tell him anything he promised to burn it to the ground…all of it. And he's pretty convincing. You guys are out here fighting for this world, and all the innocent people in it, the people you love. But out there in the universe is another world full of innocent people that have no idea their existence has been threatened; people that I feel responsible for. I can't walk away from that. Glorfindel took me under his wing and taught me to use a sword to defend those who can't defend themselves; this way I can honor the memory of my mentor and protect both this world and all the other ones out there too. I have to go to Gondor." Anita hated the way her voice sounded pleading instead of strong and decisive, but she couldn't deny that she was desperate for the older man to see her point of view and yield. Mithrandir contemplated quietly before looking to Legolas, who had remained oddly silent during the whole exchange, to make the final judgment. "Don't look at him like I just asked for permission to stay out past my curfew!" Ani exploded seeing how the wizard looked to the Elven prince.
"Your ability to make decision for yourself has been called into question as of late," Gandalf barked back, "Therefore any choice made regarding your journey from this point forward has been taken out of your hands."
"Why, because I made one poor choice about coming here instead of returning to Imladris?"
"You think the culmination of your actions up til now is the result of just one poor choice?"
Legolas stepped forward to insert himself between the wizard and the elleth as they exchanged heated words, his statement directed toward Gandalf, "If Anita desires to go to White City, I will not prevent her from doing so." Both Ani and Gandalf stared at the prince with wide eyes. The elleth wasn't sure if wanted to thank Legolas for seeing her side or smack him for thinking his consent was necessary. The white wizard focused on the Elf, searching the prince's fair face for any sign he was unsure of his judgment; Legolas' face however, remained totally unreadable.
After a strained moment of silence, Mithrandir nodded his head. " So be it." Ani had to bite down on her tongue to prevent a smile of triumph from showing on her face. "Gather your things if you have any, we will leave shortly after midday."
The elleth didn't give the old man a chance to recant his statement, she spun on her heels and in a blur of black hair she disappeared out of the Golden Hall in search of Eowyn to retrieve her clothes. It took a bit of running about in circles and repeating her question to at least five different servants and handmaidens before she was told that her personal effects had been returned to her not long after the sun had come up. At least they had been returned to the room she was supposed to have stayed in last night, but in reality had only spent a few short tortured hours when she had attempted sleep. Re-entering the room, the elleth saw that the Lady of Rohan had made good on her word the night before; folded neatly on the bed were Anita's clothes, cleaned and upon further inspection the elleth saw that the tear in the right arm had been fixed from when the Uruk had tried to behead her. With all haste, the girl discarded the dress she had been wearing since the night before and re-outfitted herself in her own travel attire. As she buttoned up her tunic, a knock sounded at the door behind her, and the young elleth wasn't terribly surprised to watch Legolas enter the room. Quietly, the prince shut the door after he entered and came to sit on the bed facing Ani.
Legolas sat in silence watching Anita button her shirt, the look on his face, far more open and readable than it had been downstairs, was creased with deep thought and worry. "I said I would not prevent you from riding to Minas Tirith," He started, choosing his words carefully, " However that does not mean that I had not hoped you would think better of it and stop yourself."
Ani sighed heavily as she retrieved her hauberk and metal cuirass from where she had discarded them on the floor the day before. Borderline exasperated she asked, "Don't you understand why I have to do this?"
"Understand, yes, "The prince replied instantly, then more slowly, "but that does not mean I agree." Ani opened her mouth to argue her point but Legolas held up one hand to quiet her while he explained. " It is not safe, that you have already seen. This war has claimed Glorfindel, it could just as easily claim your life too. There are others, ready and willing, who will die in your stead in the name of peace. The battle that will come to Minas Tirith will surely destroy that city and all who dwell there, what you endured at Helm's Deep will pale in comparison to what you journey toward now. How could I dare to live with myself if I allowed you to march to your almost certain demise unhindered? More importantly, why would I want to?"
Pulling the hauberk over her head provided the girl with a moment to consider her answer before she responded. "You got along just fine for several hundred years before I came along, you could do it again."
That was not the answer that Legolas had been expecting and it clearly rattled him. "That is hardly fair," he sputtered inelegantly.
"Excuse me," Anita hissed as she fastened her chest plate in place with more force than necessary, " but the risk of you dying is just as real as it is for me. I already lost Glo, what makes you think I want to sit by passively and risk losing you too. That's not fair."
Legolas suddenly stood up, shrinking the space between them, " I do this for you!"
"You do this for your father!" She snapped back.
The prince's eyes fluttered closed as he took a heavy breath to steady himself, "Indeed I do this for my father; but it is so that I may garner favor in his eyes, to earn his blessing so that I may ask for your hand in marriage properly once Sauron is defeated. That will do me little good if you get yourself killed."
The two elves stood staring at each other stubbornly for a long moment before Anita relented and closed the space between them , wrapping her arms around the prince in a hug as she pressed her lips against his. Legolas reached up to cup her face and draw out the kiss between them, afraid to let go, fearing that this was a kiss goodbye. Pulling away reluctantly, Ani whispered, " I love you, you know that I do, but this thing is bigger than just us. And I can't worry about us, our relationship, until I know that everyone is permanently safe from Sauron. And sometime between now and his defeat I'll deal with my demons as best I can, try to make myself better in spite of all this hell we've survived, and hopefully I'll be ready to move on when this is all over."
Legolas shook his head, "I ask only that you stay safe. I do not mind your 'demons' so much." Ani smiled up at him weakly before wrapping herself around him for a tight hug, which he heartily returned. They remained in the embrace for hours until a close-by ringing bell indicated it was midday, both of them knowing it was very possible that this would be the last time they saw the other. It struck Anita as ironic as she reluctantly released herself from his grasp, that even though she had initially left Rivendell to save her relationship with the Elven prince, she may still lose him despite it all. All the more reason, in her mind, to stand and fight against Mordor.
"I gotta go," The dark haired girl mumbled. She retrieved her belt which holstered her knives and dagger before fastening Glorfindel's old sword Laure across her back in it's sheathe. Fully armored and armed, the two elves walked out of the room and after swinging by the kitchen for a few provisions, continued to walk out of Meduseld to the stables, where Gandalf was already preparing Shadowfax for the journey.
"How far is Minas Tirith?" Ani could hear Pip asking as she entered the stable.
"Three days ride as the Nazgul flies, and you better hope we don't have one of those on our tails," The wizard replied ominously as he positioned the Hobbit on the horse. Reaching Firefoot's stall, Ani was relieved the see the horse looked well fed and rested for the journey ahead of them. With skilled hands, the elleth saddled and bridled the horse as quickly as she could manage, feeling Gandalf's urgency in leaving from across the barn. Before mounting the saddle to leave she looked to Legolas, who clearly wasn't any happier about her leaving even after their talk.
"Return to me safely," He whispered as he placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone," She jabbed jokingly in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood, which didn't work in the least. With a heavy heart the girl climbed into the saddle and made herself comfortable for the long journey ahead of her and then nodded to Gandalf to indicate she was as ready as she was ever going to be.
Gandalf wrapped an arm around the Hobbit sitting in front of him before commanding, " Run Shadowfax, show us the meaning of hast." The great white horse leapt into a gallop with Firefoot right behind him, and side by side the noble steeds carried their riders away from Edoras to whatever end waited them in Minas Tirith.