Author's Note: Have you ever gone through phase when writing a story when you read over chapters (or are trying to write a new chapter) and you just keep thinking that it is the most terrible piece of crap you've ever read and you honestly don't know why people are even reading your work and you should just stop while your ahead? Well, from basically this chapter onwards for a number of weeks this fic was making me think these exact thoughts.
Honestly I had myself in tears thinking that these chapters would ruin this fic and I couldn't understand why all you lovely readers are even reading this dribble and... and yeah, basically I was having a pity session but thankfully I am over that and am happy to report that I've written two chapters (about seven pages each) in two days. Yes, I am finally over that horrid, horrid writers block that was plaguing from months but after many, many re-writes I am now over it and am back to writing huge chunks of chapters in a day :)
Granted work is about to get busy again, so my chapter writing hours at work might once more be cut down but I'll find a way around that.

But enough about me, has everyone seen the trailer for the Desolation of Smaug? I was all but squealing in my seat a work - everyone a work now knows that I am a complete and utile LOTR nerd and have learnt to leave me be during lunch time because they know they won't get a word of sense out of me because I'll either be writing this fanfic, watching the hobbit trailer or reading something hobbit related - I love it! Yes, there are multiple scenes which we all know weren't in the book or have been altered from how they were in the book, but WHO CARES! It looks awesome! Why must it be six more months before we see it ;_;

Anyway, I'm going to shut up now, sorry for the babbling.

Please enjoy. We're back with Thorin and are introducing the Lady Dis in this chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Two

Whispers in Thou Halls

Help… Thorin…

Thorin woke with a start at his great oak desk. What was that?

He rubbed his eyes fiercely, freeing them from the grit of sleep before he shoved himself out of his chair and stormed from his private study, startling the guards who stood on duty outside of it.

"Sire are you…" He ignored them and continued on his path to the destination that he sort.

"Well brother, this is an unexpected surprise." His sister was sitting by her fireplace, a book lying open in her lap, her brow forwarded as she watched him move cautiously into her living chamber.

"You are well?" he questioned as he searched every nock and cranny of her chambers with his sharp eyes for some unknown danger.

"Yes, should I not be?" His sister asked now sounding less surprised now and more aggravated.

"I thought I heard…" he trailed off knowing what his sensible and down-to-earth sister would think if he told her he was hearing voices in his head.

At least it's not that voice, he thought grouchily, trying to ignore his sister raised eyebrows and pursed lips.

"Thought you heard… what?" she asked slowly and carefully. While Dis had not seen his short time of being possessed by the gold sickness, she had seen their grandfather in its thrall. She had also been the first to realise that their father was losing his mind after the beheading of their grandfather at the Battle of Azanulbizar.

"Never mind. I'm sorry for disturbing you. Where are the boys?"

"Off hunting, now stop changing the subject. What did you think you heard?" Thorin glared at his sister, his younger sister who glared back at him with equal fire.

"Thorin."

"Dis." He ground back. He shouldn't have to put up with this, least of all from his little sister. He was King under the Mountain for Mahal's sake!

"Thorin start speaking now or I'll tell the rest of your company and I know they'll make you speak." Thorin felt that this was entirely unfair. Not that he'd ever admit it. And it wasn't that he was more incline to speak with his old company, it was just that they had better blackmail material to use against him than his sister currently did to make him speak.

And some were not afraid to use it either. He really needed to write a law where it was the death penalty to even breathe a certain Halflings name.

He winced at the very thought. That would only further taint her name.

Not, he reminded himself quietly, that the name they all knew her by was her true name. Only he knew her true birth name and he kept that name locked tightly within his heart.

"Well, have you decided?" His sister voice broke through his thoughts, "do you wish to speak to me or your old company?"

Not saying a word, he didn't want to give her too much pleasure in winning this particular argument – she and Billanna would get on so… he shook his head forcibly as he sat down in the leather armchair opposite her.

"Now that voice…"

"It wasn't…" Thorin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It wasn't… what? You looked quite worried when you came barraging into my chambers just now."

"I thought I heard a cry for help." Thorin snapped at her, causing his sister to sit back in her own chair blinking at him in surprise.

"A cry for help?"

"Yes," Thorin growled out in frustration, "I heard just for a moment someone, a woman, calling out my name as she cried for help."

"A memory, maybe? Were you asleep at your desk again Thorin?" Thorin threw his sister a disgruntled look, causing his sister to cluck her tongue in annoyance.

"Thorin, you have a perfectly nice bed, in a perfectly nice bedchamber. Use the damn thing instead of your desk as a pillow."

"It didn't feel like a memory or a dream." Thorin grated back at her, deciding ignoring her reprimes for sleeping at his desk again – it was a long standing argument between brother and sister and one that he saw lasting til their dying days – before sighing, "It felt real."

"With how many hours sleep I guess you get in a week, I'm surprised that anything seems real to you, brother dearest."

"Thank you sister, for being so loving and caring, as usual." Thorin shot back dryly. "And that's all you think it is, a memory or a dream even?"

His sister nodded.

"What else could it be? There is no danger here Thorin. And however much they might wish it, there are no dwarrow women calling out your name without a title or other stuck in front of it."

"You are not going to start that again are you?" Thorin growled.

"No, I'm not. I didn't even want to to begin with. I told those old fools on your counsel that you had no wish to marry, that you never did and I doubt you ever would, but does anyone ever listen to Dis? I do believe not." His sister finished rather tartly causing Thorin to see his sister as how she used to be when she was a young dwarrow lass running after him and Frenin through Erebor's great halls before Smaug came and destroyed everything they once knew and loved.

"I listen to you." He reminded her gently.

"Hmmph, only when you feel like it." She replied but her smile was gentle and sisterly and Thorin felt a great peace settle upon his heart for just a moment. Then the moment was gone when he saw a flash of frighten brown eyes and another cry for his help.

"Did you hear it again?" Dis asked him gently.

"Why…"

He thought he saw a thought pass across Dis's sapphire blue eyes before she blinked it away and shook her head.

"I don't know brother."

"Liar." He grunted but he knew he could never force his sister into telling him anything that she did not wish to tell.

"Yes I am, but only because I do not believe you will like what I might say."

"Such as?"

She smiled at him, reminding him of his nephews smiles when they had been caught in the middle of doing something that they shouldn't.

"Brother dear, I am not suicidal. I know which buttons of yours I can push and which I cannot. And this is one of those matters where, no matter how much I might try to avoid it, one of you buttons will be pushed and you will be then figuratively bitting my head off." Thorin simply stared at his sister for moment trying, like he had been trying to do since the moment of her birth, to understand exactly what she was thinking.

"I would…"

His sister raised an eyebrow at him causing him to grumble and slouch in his chair.

"I am your king," he rumbled, "show some respect and be obedient to my commands for once."

"You are also my brother and for the sake of this whole kingdom, I won't. Not until I think you can handle it."

"Dis…"

"I mean it, brother. You know you can't get anything out of me unless I wish to share it and believe me when I say I think it would be best for me to keep my thoughts to myself for the time being."

Thorin sat in his armchair stewing over this while Dis appeared to have returned to reading her book. Not that she really had, she was keeping an eye on her brother. She worried about him. Not because she feared he would become possessed by the madness that seemed to curse the men in their family – no, according to her boys her older brother had already been possessed by the gold sickness for a time. And due to it, he had been forced to face the ultimate consequence of what the gold sickness could do. And because of this consequence he had broken free of the madness and had become the Dwarven King sitting across from her this day.

No, she no longer feared that her brother would succumb to the dragon sickness like their grandfather or the madness like their father.

She knew he thought that was what she worried about, what they all worried about when they asked him if he was alright. He resent them for it, never bothering to ask if this was truly what they were thinking, simply assuming that it was. Her brother was a good dwarf, but an awfully stubborn one when his mind was set on something.

Like his heart.

For that was what they worried about most, Thorin Oakenshield's true friends. Dis did not know the hobbit lass whom had travelled with her brother and her sons and their companions to reclaim Erebor as she never had a chance to meet the lass, but she knew quite a bit about her from her sons'. Kili in particular liked to talk about her, speaking at times as if she was second mother or a younger sister, depending on the circumstances. Fili who was shaping so very nicely into Thorin's heir was much quieter on the subject of their hobbit burglar, but when he did speak of her, it was with a small and wistful smile. She had heard other dwarves speak of the hobbit lass. Balin spoke highly of her, when Thorin wasn't around. Bombur and Bofur spoke of her like she was a little sister to them, or something more for one of them, but Dis had kept this assumption to herself. Kili's young scribe friend Ori, the youngest Ri brother – such a sweet and gentle little fellow, she had almost thump Thorin when she heard that Ori had gone along on his mad venture to reclaim this very mountain – had shown her a sketch he had drawn of their burglar during one of her many visits to the huge and magnificent library of Erebor.

The burglar had a pretty face, a face that held a unique blend of beauty and strength. So very different from a dwarrowdam.

Dis had kept the sketch, for even though she had never met the hobbit lass who had died somewhere on the plains outside Erebor's great doors, she felt kinship with her. For after all, if things had been different, the hobbit burglar might have become Queen under the Mountain.

Dis sighed softly.

But that could never be… unless.

She shook her head. No, it was impossible.

"You think it's her… don't you?"

Dis jumped a little at her brother's unexpected voice breaking through her thoughts.

"Hmm, brother, who?"

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows at her but he couldn't hold her eyes for long.

"You know who." He mutters as he stares down at his worn, blacksmith hands still more used to wielding a hammer or a sword than ruling a kingdom.

"It has crossed my mind, but it is impossible." She said as gently as she could.

"I don't know why she did it." he sighed, throwing his head back against the back of the armchair and staring up at the rock ceiling of her chambers. "Why didn't she just run?"

"Where to brother? You said so yourself many times that the enemy came from seemingly all directions, where would she have been able to go?"

"She had her ring. Her magic ring. And she was quick and sneaky. If anyone could have snuck off that battlefield, it would have been her. It should have been her."

"Well, maybe she did. Maybe she did exactly that." Dis offered ignoring the fiery glare her brother was giving her. "Or not. Are you never going to stop torturing yourself over this, brother?"

"No."

"Good."

"Thank you sister," He replied dryly, "for being so understanding."

"Always, brother." She beamed at him from over her book.

He gave her a tired glare in return before turning his gaze back on the roaring fire burning in her fireplace.

Dis sat and watched her brother for a few more moments in silence before turning to her own thoughts once more.

He misses his burglar that is all; she tells herself firmly, He feels guilt over her death as he should. That is why his mind is torturing him so; it is nothing more than that.

But deep in her heart, Dis almost wishes it was more than that, for than just maybe the hobbit lass might be alive. It was a beggar's hope, she knew as there had been no signs of the hobbit lass, dead or alive, in over eleven years.

A short time really, by dwarf time, but Dis is certain each year has felt like a century to her brother. And she was sure that the pain of the hobbit's loss will stay with him until the day he died.

Where are you little hobbit? Are you gone from this world forever? Or do you still breathe and live? Do you still think of my brother as he thinks of you?

Where are you? If you are not dead, please come, he needs you more than he'll ever admit even to himself.

Where are you little hobbit? Where are you?

Author's Note: More fanart for this fanfic from the wonderful artist Shivi. She is a very talented artist and you should check out some of her other Fem!Bilbo fanart.

/works/835299/chapters/1613089

With Chapter Twenty-Three: Over the Hills and Far Away we're back with Bilbo and Co to find out what's happening with them.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter if though there was a bit of wait for it and it's probably not really the type of chapter that you were hoping for. I hope you like my Dis, I'm quite fond of her and I can't wait to write more of her, preferably scenes involving her and Bilbo tormenting Thorin. C'mon you all can't honestly say you don't want a scene of Thorin being teased out of his mind by these because you know that they would and gleefully while Frodo and the rest the company look of thanking Mahal that they're not Thorin :)

Bye for now :)