Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. I do not own any of the character, places, names, or anything associated with the works of J.R.R Tolkien or the Lord of the Rings (books or movie, whatever). My characters are Anita, Leila, and Arlandria and that is all.

Author's Note: Thank you all for your patience as I continue to work on this story, I know I am not updating fast enough for anyone's liking, myself included. Daphne10 I totally saw your PM but never managed to reply to it, I am woman enough to say that's my bad.

Sorrow- Evgeny Emelyanov

Chapter 69: Sorrow

Her father was trying to be helpful, Anita believed this in her heart absolutely. In an attempt to distract her from Legolas' absence – and the inevitable news of his death- Elladan had arranged to move her out of the House of Healing and back to her room in the King's House. Her father had even arranged for her to have a bath (of sorts) and a maid to assist due to her immobility. Elladan was trying to help. It was not working.

Anita was extremely grateful for the help she was currently receiving as the young handmaid worked with a cloth to scrub away the blood and grime of the battle, even if her pride had to take a hit for it. The elleth was standing nearly naked in the middle of the room with only the barest of undergarments on, spread out on floor underneath her was a large piece of cloth meant to catch the water runoff as the other young girl wiped her down with a wet hand towel. While the process was foreign and unfamiliar, there was not much in life that could compare to the feeling of being clean. It wasn't hard to follow her father's reasoning as to why he wanted her moved away from the wounded and dying in the Healing House, obviously he had assumed that if she wasn't surrounded by the suffering it wouldn't be at the forefront of her mind. But the change of environment and the satisfaction of getting clean did very little to draw her mind away from the looming dread that at some point a message would come back to the city that all who had marched against the Black Gate had perished. And as much as she didn't want to, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about all the implications that came with the same message; what it would mean for Mirkwood and Gondor if the last surviving heirs died fighting Sauron's forces, or the effect that would have on the rest of Middle Earth.

The young hand maiden was of little help in the conversation department, the girl hadn't spoken more than a few words since she had arrived, one of those words had been her name ,Nyah, and the rest had been her repeating "my lady" or asking the elf to adjust a body part for cleaning. Ani had seen out of the corner of her eye the girl open her mouth a few times as if to speak but never produced any sound. So the majority of their time was spent in silence, which Anita appreciated and loathed simultaneously. The girl continued to work quietly using the cloth to scrub the grime off Ani's skin, being careful of all the wounds and bruises that marred her once perfect complexion , and providing the elleth some semblance of being independent by allowing her to wash for herself the limited areas she could reach, in truth though Ani had to rely on the handmaid for most of the washing. It wasn't until the girl had positioned herself behind the elleth to wash her hair that Nyah finally found the will to speak.

"Thank you," She whispered meekly as she used the cloth to dampen the ebony locks and then wring the moisture into a strategically position bucket.

" I think I'm supposed to be the one to say that," Anita replied with a flat affect.

" Y-yes my lady," the maiden stuttered, " I only meant to thank you for what you did for my family. My sister and her four children lived within the Fourth Level, she spoke to me of how you saved their lives."

Anita glanced to the polished mirror in order to study the face of the maiden who was washing her hair, comparing it to her memory of the day of the siege. Try as she might though, the elleth could not recall a face from the crowd of people she had tried to lead to safety that matched the features of the girl that spoke to her now. The fact that she couldn't recall any of the faces from those families filled her with a great sense of guilt. Ani shuffled away from the girl after she had finished wringing out her hair and , with some difficulty, wrapped the provided cloth around her now clean self to dry the remaining drops of water on her skin. "The men of this city fought hard to stop the siege and protect all who live here, there is much thanks to go around."

" Indeed my lady, but no man was willing to risk his life and battle a Wraith to save my sister and her offspring."

The elleth let out a mirthless guffaw as she worked to maneuver the dress lain across the bed in such a way that she could dress herself using one arm, " I barely lived to tell the tale myself."

The girl came over without Ani needing to make a request and helped the elleth pull the gray dress over her and carefully guide her arms through the sleeves," All the same," Nyah spoke as she redid the sling for Anita's right arm, " This city owes you a debt, if ever you need anything do not hesitate to ask, any citizen of the Gondor will answer the call."

The elf gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed, balancing herself with her good arm as she made the short descent from standing. Her leg was throbbing angrily from having to hold her weight for the length of the washing. " Thank you, your assistance today was enough". She hadn't meant it to sound so dismissive, but the handmaid seemed to take it as her cue to go and gathered up the bucket and other miscellaneous items, disappearing out the door while taking only a second to turn back and give a quick bow of the neck as a parting courtesy. The thud of the door closing was the last sound before Anita was left alone in silence with her thoughts and the ache coming from her leg. She tried controlled breathing to lessen the pain, she tried massaging pressure points to provide some relief, neither tactic did very much to help. The elf hung her head, her damp ebony hair falling around her face , and glared at her incapacitated right leg. It was barely able to hold her up when she was just standing, walking was a long way off….she hadn't been brave enough to ask her father when the pain would go away, the answer was likely worse than just dealing with the angry pulsating in her leg.

The elf had gotten a good look at the wounds she had sustained during battle when she glanced in the mirror as the handmaid had been cleaning. Oof. It was no wonder her father ( and everyone else for that matter) had thought her already beyond saving when she had been found in the middle of the street. She could account for the major injuries, her leg, her ribs, and her shoulder, she was also very painfully aware of how she had earned the awful bruising on her throat that was in the distinct shape of a hand, but there were a plethora of smaller injuries the elleth did not recall incurring. Blues, greens, purple, and black bruising decorated her skin from her torso to her calves, and where there was not a bruise there was a cut, in a variety of sizes and shapes, that had taken its place. Everything hurt in proportion with the injury sustained, but the gash on her right leg was far and away the worst pain she had ever experienced.

Glancing up at the door the girl had left through, Anita wished she had asked her to find Elladan, or at the very least get her the tincture being used to manage the pain levels. 'If you need anything do not hesitate to ask" , that was what Nyah had said, and the elleth was sure it was meant to convey the depth of gratitude the girl was feeling, instead it left the distinct taste of bitterness laying heavy on the elf's tongue. "Does anyone have a functional pair of legs I can use?" She mumbled, her voice thick with resentment. Ani had volunteered to come to Minas Tirith to fight, she had followed her convictions down the path that had led her to this point in her life, but despite fully grasping the notion that her own choices landed her in this spot Ani couldn't suppress the sensation growing in her chest.

Anita was filled with a growing sense of animosity for Gondor. The longer she was left alone to think about her current predicament and the fact she may never walk properly again was making her question the worth of her sacrifice against what had been saved.

The elleth shook her head violently, small droplets of water whipping from the tips of her damp hair and landed around her on the bed and the floor. She couldn't stay alone in this room with dark and heavy thoughts nipping at the edge of her consciousness lest she place the blame of her situation at the feet of Gondor's citizens. Even if she could try to blame someone else for her current state when she weighed the loss of a leg against all that had been saved there was no comparison. Nope. Her choices, her consequences, plain and simple.

Against all good advice Anita decided she wanted to try and walk, she didn't want to remain alone in the room any longer as there was too much quiet to be filled with her thoughts. So the option was to leave. The girl firmly planted her uninjured left leg on the floor and her left arm on the bed, with a push of her hand she popped up and attempted to balance all her weight on her good leg, certain that she looked like less graceful flamingo in the process. For all of one second Ani thought she had the situation under control, but just as quickly the world tilted and she began to pitch forward. She tried to catch herself using only her left hand and leg which turned out to be a disaster in it's own right; her left knee hit the stone floor hard and she let out a yelp when the force jarred her whole body as her lower half came to an abrupt halt, Ani tried to catch her upper body with one arm but her balance was so far beyond recall that her fall resulted with her injured shoulder slamming into the ground with the full force of the fall behind it. Anita clenched her teeth and let out a groan that sounded suspiciously like a few choice curse words. "Awesome," she mumbled into the crevice between the tiles once the wave of pain had subsided. With an exasperated huff she adjusted her limbs and, with great physical effort, got herself up on her hands and knees with most of her weight resting on her good appendages, which felt as awkward as looked, and she took a moment to rest before she decided she would try to stand again.

It was as she was in this position that a knock came at the door and opened to reveal her uncle Elrohir, who looked no less surprised to see her on the floor than Ani was to see him standing there. He was holding a plate with food in one hand and a bundle of cloth was wrapped up under the opposing arm. They studied each other for an extended second before he addressed her.

"Anita, what is it you are doing?" He didn't sound angry or even irritated, just his same old calm and controlled voice.

"My taxes," the elleth snipped back at her uncle who deserved none of her ire, " Isn't it obvious?"

Elrohir chose to ignore her snarky comment as a whole when he responded, " Your father has no doubt explained the length of time you will need for your leg to fully heal, so let us not be foolish." Quick as a wink he entered the room and gently nudged the door closed behind him, set the plate and bundle on the bedside table, and then hoisted her back up so she was seated on the edge of the bed. " Why would you attempt such a thing?"

"He said there was a chance I might never walk correctly again." She stated this plainly as though it explained everything.

Elrohir let out a small sigh, " You risk more harm by not waiting for it to heal fully."

"I have always enjoyed the benefit of being a fast healer, even when I was still mostly human, I wasn't prepared for the news that I might not heal."

Her uncle made a face – or at least as much of an expression as she had ever seen the collected elf make- as he cast a sidelong look to the chestplate that was resting against the wall where Ani had left it. The same chestplate she had worn at Helm's Deep, the same one she had worn in the frantic ride from Rohan to Gondor, the same one she had made the decision to not wear for the battle. " Yes indeed," Elrohir started slowly, rolling each syllable off his tongue," if only there had been some way to prevent you from suffering such injuries."

Now it was Anita's turn to make a face," Is that sass? Are you sassing me?" The older elf walked over and picked up the armor in one graceful swoop and studied it as he held it aloft. There were a few marks on the chestplate, damage that had occurred during the battle at Helms Deep, and even then mostly from the explosion at the wall. The question was written all over his face before he spoke it aloud.

"Why did you not wear this?"

Anita sat up a little straighter, " It constricted my movements, I needed to be able to block and attack at my full speed." She said it with such conviction it was almost believable. Almost.

"Anita," Her uncle started again, his tone a little sharper and more pointed, "Why did you not wear this?"

" B-because it constricted…"

"Anita," Elrohir's voice was barely above a whisper, but it shut her up all the same. It wasn't what he said so much as it was the way he said it, there was something in his voice that she picked up on that indicated he already knew the answer.

She shifted uncomfortably but refused to break eye contact in the wake of what she was about to confess, " We didn't think anyone else was coming and Gondor's own forces were seriously lacking. Didn't feel like there was a point in wearing it." Her words rang true but the real weight of her statement was in the few words she hadn't said, We planned on dying. Elrohir didn't say anything but simply nodded as he set the chestplate back down. His face had slipped back into the cool stoic expression so frequently associated with elves, and Ani couldn't read a reaction to her statement. "Uncle, please don't tell my father." Anita knew that the knowledge she had resigned herself to death would be a crushing blow to the man who had traveled so far to ensure her safety.

Elrohir nodded again and parted his lips to reply, then froze. His eyes were not focused on her any longer but instead were firmly trained on the window behind her. The oddity of the way her uncle had paused caused the elleth alarm and she turned herself as far as she could on the edge of the bed to follow his gaze. The sky, which had previously been dark under the heavy clouds that rolled over from Mordor, had taken on a violently red hue that was rapidly getting brighter. The world outside her window looked like it was on fire.

"What the hell?" She mumbled to no one as she continued to watch the sky turn colors. There was a loud boom that was followed near instantaneously by a jolt that shook the building violently. With a yell she felt herself being thrown from her precariously perch off the bed. Her uncle caught her with ease and placed her carefully back in the bed when the tremor had passed. " That can't be good right?" the panic was clear in the elleth's voice.

Elrohir had set his jaw firmly , his eyes having never left the window, and it was clear he echoed her same sentiment. " Stay here." He commanded and disappeared out of the room leaving her door ajar.

" Like I have a choice!" She yelled after him, but he was long gone. She glanced over her shoulder again out the window to see that the red hue was gone and the sky had taken on the normal color of an overcast day with no hint of the evil lurking just beyond the borders. Such a stark change had to mean something had happened. Anita's heart sank to the pit of her stomach when she came to realize there was a definite possibility Sauron had gotten his ring back. If that were the case then she would be damned if she was stuck in this room.

With renewed vigor Ani pushed herself off the bed , successfully catching herself this time with her good arm and leg and began to awkwardly crawl for the door. It took more out of her physically than she was expecting, the elleth was panting by the time she had made it the short distance to the doorway, she was ever grateful that in his hast her uncle had left it open because she had no idea how she would have held herself up and opened the door with only the one functional arm. But the worst parts of her undertaking were still ahead, namely the long hallway and the stairs. Using the door handle Anita pulled herself up to a standing position and rested the dead weight of her right side against the wall to shuffle down the hall. It was slow going, it was also incredibly taxing on her recuperating body. Despite trying to only use her wounded right leg to temporarily hold weight when she shifted Ani knew she was stressing it beyond what it should handle at this stage of recovery. Too late. She was committed to this. Left hand on wall for stabilization, left leg step forward, shuffle weight, repeat. Her body was screaming before she was even halfway down the hall. There was sweat beading on her forehead when she reached the bottom of the short staircase that led to the main landing and the exit.

There was no way to avoid using her right leg on steps. " This is gonna suck." Bracing herself for the pain she was about to experience the elf placed her leg on the step and pushed up. Nothing, nothing, up until that point prepared her for the sensation of the stitches ripping when her weight pressed down. Anita ground her teeth trying to hold back a scream, water welled up in her eyes blurring her vision of the stairs. Five more to go. Each one was excruciating. But she persisted through the pain, practically dragging herself up the last few steps. When Anita reached the landing she collapsed back to a crawling position and hauled herself to the door, which was also blessedly left open. With the last little bit of energy left Anita pulled her body into a sitting position, using the doorway to prop up her tired body.

Looking down at the borrowed dress she was wearing it was hard not to notice the large red stain on her hip. She had definitely ripped a few stitches. Time for that later. The elleth turned her eyes to the scene before her. There was quite the crowd gathered in the courtyard of the Citadel , all eyes were steadfastly turned to the east, following their gaze she saw a few dark shapes on the horizon flying toward them. Anita's heart hammered away, were they Wraiths come back to finish the city off? As they drew closer her keen Elven eyesight could distinguish them from the fellbeasts the Wraiths had been flying on, no these were different, they were birds... eagles. Her dark eyes opened wide when she recalled the same large brown eagles that had brought Gandalf to Lothlorien when he made his miraculous return from the grave. Anita didn't know what it meant that these eagles were flying to Minas Tirith from the direction of Mordor... would they be the fateful messengers heralding doom?

There was nothing to do but wait. Luckily no one noticed her crumpled in the doorway as they were all focused on the approaching eagles. There were three of them, and at least two were carrying something in their talons. The birds came right to Citadel and gently landed amongst the gathered people. Gandalf had been riding on the back of foremost eagle, he eased himself down and the crowd gathered close making it impossible to see what was happened from Anita's viewpoint so far removed from the courtyard at the entrance to the House. A collective cry went up from the crowd...a scream?... no, a cheer. They were cheering. A dark figure broke away from the crowd and came bounding towards her. Her father raced across the courtyard like Ani had never seen him move before.

Elladan barely slowed as he neared her and for a split second Anita thought her father might run right past her. If he registered the fact that she wasn't in her room like she was supposed to be, or the blood stain on her dress, he didn't acknowledge it out loud. Instead he fell to his knees and hugged his child close and with surprising force, catching Ani totally off guard, but before she could protest her father spoke, his words putting aside any pain or discomfort she was experiencing at least for a moment.

"It's over my child, it's really over. Sauron is defeated."