Ch 18:
Chloe subtly rolled her eyes when the seventh girl they passed flirtingly called out Jay's name. And of course he was eating it up. At least she wasn't the only one annoyed by it.
"Why do you torture them?" Carlos asked, smacking Jay's arm. "Just pick someone to take to Cotillion already."
"I'm goin' solo." Jay answered arrogantly. "That way I can dance with all of them."
While the boys continued talking about it, Chloe glanced over at Mal from where she was walking between Mal and Evie. Mal was staring dazedly ahead, as if lost in her own world. Chloe had helped her make that calendar poster to hang up in her dorm, but she wasn't sure how much it was helping. Mal still seemed to be drowning under the pressure. Chloe had the feeling she wasn't the only one wishing Cotillion was just over with already.
"Listen, all you gotta do," Chloe glanced up as the group stopped, Jay giving Carlos some advice, "is look like me."
Chloe snorted while Carlos gave a sarcastic laugh.
"Mal!"
"Hey Jane." Carlos instantly snapped to attention and Chloe had to refrain from comparing him to an excited puppy as Jane showed up. Carlos than proceeded to stammer through what Chloe assumed was a failed attempt to ask Jane to Cotillion, only to chicken out and ask her if she liked the carrot cake last night. Chloe refrained this time from smacking herself in the forehead.
"I had the pumpkin pie." Jane informed him, still smiling.
Before Carlos could embarrass himself any further, Jay grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him away. Evie then stepped away briefly with Lonnie to most likely discuss Lonnie's Cotillion dress, which Evie was putting the finishing touches on. Chloe stood awkwardly by while Jane asked Mal decoration questions for Cotillion. She briefly considered chasing down the boys, before deciding to stay with Mal and Jane. Jane had begun rapidly flipping through her tablet, showing Mal images and talking so fast Chloe was sure Mal wasn't hearing most of it. As much as she loved Jane, the girl tended to go a little overboard.
Jane's rambling screeched to a halt when Mal suddenly froze, her eyes glowing bright green. Chloe flinched slightly at the sight and Jane froze, staring nervously at Mal.
Chloe cleared her throat slightly, glancing between the girls and trying to be casual. "It's totally not my place, but what about half pen toppers and half key charms for the party favors?" she suggested, picking up where Jane left off.
Mal blinked before nodding. "Yeah, that sounds good. Jane?"
"Perfect!
"I can hardly wait to see what your wedding will look like." Lonnie suddenly announced, her and Evie rejoining them.
"Me too." Mal muttered distractedly while Chloe's eyes went wide in disbelief. "Wait-what?!" Mal squeaked, eyes wide.
"The Royal Cotillion is like getting engaged to be engaged to be engaged." Jane explained.
"Oh, I knew it!" Evie exclaimed happily.
"Well, everyone knows it." Lonnie added while Chloe just tried to catch up to what was going on.
"I didn't know it!" Mal started to rant, seemingly on the verge of a meltdown. "How come nobody told me that? Is my entire life just planned out in-"
"Hi, Mal." Ben suddenly appeared between Mal and Chloe, startling them both.
"Hi Ben." Evie, Jane, and Lonnie greeted the King teasingly, making Chloe stifle a snort, her lips twitching in amusement. Mal glared at them.
"Oh, hi Anthony!" Jane added in the same tone, glancing teasingly at Chloe, whose eyes widened while her freckled cheeks went red.
"Hi, Jane." Anthony returned the greeting, sounding half amused, half confused.
The group then proceeded to split up, Jane pulling Ben aside, and Evie and Lonnie walking off. Chloe kept her eyes on her toes as she tried to hurry off in the direction of the other two girls.
"Hey, Chloe, hold up." Anthony called, falling into step with her easily with his long legs. Chloe barely glanced up at him, focusing downward enough to note Motley staring up at her, solely focused on Chloe.
"Hey, what's up?" Chloe asked distractedly.
"Nothing much, apart from the usual." Anthony admitted. "How's Beelzebub doing?"
"She's doing fine." Chloe answered. "I called the vet, but they can't get us in until Saturday, but he said in the meantime to just feed her the normal amount, and if she's nesting to let her nest and maybe help her pick a safe place to do so. So, me and Jane used that cardboard box, and we just cleaned it out, added some newspapers and blankets and cut part of one side away so she can get into it easier. She's been rearranging the blanket in there since, and she dragged her pillow inside."
Anthony smiled. "That's good to hear."
"Yeah, but me and Carlos agreed Dude should be kept in his room and out of mine for a while. Bee tolerates the dogs, but I don't think she'd like Dude nosing around her babies." Chloe joked slightly.
Anthony laughed. "Yeah, she'd probably swipe him on the nose."
"At least." Chloe agreed.
"So," Anthony started, and his tone told her they were now discussing what she wanted to avoid, "we never did go out for that coffee."
Chloe blushed, looking away at anything but him.
Over the summer Chloe and Anthony had video chatted a lot, mostly to keep him updated on Motley's training and for him to give any tips or suggestions. Of course, they also just talked and stuff while video chatting. One time they even played the same movie while video chatting, basically having a movie night in separate towns. Then, one day Anthony asked her out to coffee or something, as a date. There'd been no pressure, and he made it clear she could say no if she wanted.
She said yes. And she genuinely meant it. But next thing they knew, summer was over and now Cotillion was a couple days away.
"Yeah." Chloe agreed, clearing her throat. "Maybe we could do that this weekend or something."
"Yeah, I'd like that." Anthony agreed, smiling. "But that wasn't completely what I wanted to talk about."
"Oh?" Chloe asked, trying not to sound wary.
"I know you probably have no desire to go to Cotillion," Anthony started, leading Chloe to a table so they could both sit down, and he paused long enough for Chloe to order Motley under the table, "but I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."
Chloe chewed her bottom lip, staring at the tabletop to avoid eye contact. She didn't know how to respond.
"Hey," Anthony reached over and gently grabbed her hand, "there's no pressure. I know parties can trigger you, and I don't want that. I also don't want you to develop a fear of parties over it, but that's not really my place. I just,…I'm performing a few songs at Cotillion, and I was kinda hoping you'd be there to hear them."
Still chewing her lip, Chloe glanced up at him, cautiously curious. "New songs?" she asked after releasing her lip from her teeth.
"One of them is." Anthony agreed, smiling slightly. The way his eyes lit up at the mention of this new song made Chloe's stomach clench and her heart pound. But she couldn't tell if it was in a good way or not. But one thing she did know was that she couldn't go to Cotillion with him. He wanted her there with him when he played this new song, but what if she had a panic attack during his performance, drawing attention and ruining his big moment? She couldn't do that to him.
"I-I can't." she stuttered, looking down in shame.
"It's okay, I understand. If you don't-"
"No, it's not okay. But I just…I just can't. We can't. I'm sorry." she stuttered, standing up and backing away. "You…you deserve better." she blurted before hurrying away, Motley hurrying to catch up. She heard Anthony call her name a couple times, but she didn't stop, going quickly to her next class.
The rest of Chloe's classes passed in a blur, it was a miracle no one called on her to answer any questions. When classes ended for the day, Chloe went to the art room, which had become her safe haven. Outside of classes, it was usually empty of people, so it was quiet and Chloe could be alone to do whatever she pleased, whether that was working on homework, drawing, or writing a new story.
This particular afternoon, her mind was too distracted to write, so she started working on one of her latest sketches. Flipping through her sketchbook, she passed the few rough sketches she'd done for Ben's surprise for Mal. Chloe knew next to nothing about stained glass art, but she was able to draw some rough sketches of Mal in a purple gown with Ben, letting Ben pick one to take to the professionals. She'd loved that Ben had insisted that Mal have purple hair, a purple gown, and green eyes. Clearly, Chloe wasn't the only person who preferred Mal's purple hair.
Chloe started working on her latest sketch, her mind wandering despite her best efforts to focus on something else. The guilt and self-hatred was eating away at her. She really liked Anthony. Of any person in Auradon, she felt he understood her the most, apart from maybe Jane. But because she was a freak she was sabotaging any chance she might have of a happily-ever-after. Her panic attacks would never be cured, it would always be something that could hold her back. And maybe her fear of going to a party was one of those ways she was letting it hold her back. But she couldn't see herself doing anything else. Her whole life, she'd given in, surrendered, or ran away from problems, whether that was her mother's anger, the bullies on the Isle, and now this.
She would never be normal. A normal Auradon girl. And Anthony deserved better. He deserved someone whole and unbroken. They could still be friends, at least she hoped they could, but they could never be more than that. And that was for the best.
So why did her chest hurt so much?
Chloe wasn't sure how long she sat there, sketching away until she was almost finished with a detailed scenery. But the door opening finally pulled her back to the real world and she glanced up. Evie's blue hair swung into view as she looked around the room before meeting Chloe's eyes.
"Hey, have you seen Mal?" she asked curiously.
Chloe glanced around the room, just in case Mal had snuck in while Chloe was distracted. "Not since earlier with Jane. Why?"
"She had a picnic date with Ben earlier. She should have been back by now. I saw Ben in his office, but I can't find Mal." Evie explained, entering the room.
Chloe hummed thoughtfully. "Did you ask Ben?"
"No, he was in the middle of a call." Evie answered, sitting in a chair near where Chloe was sitting. She glanced at Motley but made no move or comment toward the dog.
While no one was supposed to pet a service dog when they were working, Chloe noticed Evie was the only person of her friends who really hadn't bonded with Motley in some way. Carlos gave Motley her favorite treats, and fell asleep in Chloe's dorm a few times with Motley. Motley seemed to sense when Mal was stressed and would rest her chin on Mal's lap until Mal would pet her and inevitably relax. Jay loved playing fetch with Motley, which instantly moved him to the top of her favorite person list. Jane frequently helped Chloe with some of Motley's training.
"Did you call or text her?" Chloe asked.
"Yes, but she hasn't responded." Evie answered.
"Well, I'm sure she's fine." Chloe shrugged. "Maybe she has some Cotillion thing she forgot to do, or homework. She does have a lot on her plate, you know."
"Yes, I do know. I'm trying to help her, but it's like she won't let me." Evie admitted.
Chloe shrugged slightly. "Well, Mal's always been a more independent person, more of a leader. She doesn't always like to ask for help. But sometimes if you look closely, I kinda get the feeling she's silently crying out for help. And I think she really does need us." Chloe admitted.
Evie stared at Chloe for a long moment before nodding slowly. They were silent for a long moment, Chloe petting Motley's head. When the silence was eventually broken, it was by Evie.
"So, I've been working on your Cotillion dress the last few days. I'm almost done with it if you want to try it on." Evie started casually.
Chloe sighed. "Evie, I'm pretty sure I already told you I'm not going to Cotillion."
"But you have to! Mal will officially be made Lady of the Court, and we all need to be there for her! And it will be so much fun!" Evie insisted.
"Evie I don't want to go." Chloe insisted firmly. "I'd ask if you remembered what happened last time I went to a dance or party, but you weren't there." she told her, referring to the disaster that was Castlecoming.
"But that was months ago." Evie insisted. "And we'll all be there this time. And you have Motley now. Isn't this what she's for?"
Chloe couldn't stop the glare from forming on her face. "No, that's not what she's for. And she's not far enough in her training for me to take her to something as big as Cotillion. And you know I'm not comfortable in crowds, especially not parties. I'm terrified of being triggered into a panic attack because of what happened at that stupid party in Hell Hall."
"But that was ages ago!" Evie complained. "You need to move on from all that. It's like I told Mal yesterday, we need to just leave the past in the past. Forget about the Isle, and focus on the lives we have here in Auradon."
Chloe's expression slowly morphed into one of disbelief, and then she made it fall into an expressionless mask. One she hadn't felt the need to adopt since she was on the Isle.
"So, you're saying…that Carlos should have just left the past in the past six months ago…That he should have just left me on the Isle to die." Chloe stated in a dull voice, showing no emotion though her words were enough to get the message across.
"No, Chloe, that's not-"
"Come on, Motley. Heel." Chloe stood up, grabbing her bag and quickly leaving the room. She needed to get as far away from Evie as possible at the moment. She needed to get away.
AN: Ooh, looks like we're getting some tension going. I hope her argument with Evie didn't come off as too forced or anything. I'm also sure some people might be frustrated with Chloe's response to Anthony, but I think it was a fairly accurate reaction. With everything she's endured on the Isle she won't be able to just jump into a relationship just yet.
Please review and let me know what you all thought of this chapter and what you'd like to see in the next few chapters. I love hearing from all of you!
Thanks!