Author's Note: Hello. Yes, I'm alive. I have my reasons for not updating earlier, work and other things, but I'll go into that in my Author's notes at the end of this chapter.

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Almost Like Home

Thankfully Oin released her from the infirmary the next day. Possibly more due to the fact that he realised that trying to keep her there would be a course of action he would never win and he would have to put up with her incessant whining. Though upon her release, he gave her a strict list of instructions of what she could do with her hands and what she most certainly could not do with them, before telling her he would be around to her chambers the evening.

Upon her release from the infirmary she was all but swamped by the rest of the company who were all looking quite pleased with themselves, which left her more than a little worried. A worry that only grew when it became clear she wasn't being lead back to her chambers.

"Where we going?" was question she was repeatedly asking as she was pulled along by the company, not feeling in the least bit reassured by their wide smiles and "you'll see," promises.

"Balin." She plead with the old dwarf who simply smiled back at her in his grandfatherly way that had her wanting to throttle him. They were in the royal wing; she figured that much out at least, on the other side of it she was certain.

"Come along, it is not much further now." Balin soothed her gently and Bilbo, still rather reluctant, she had never been overly fond of surprises, followed the dwarves without question.

She was rather confused when, after all their mystery and sneaky grins, she was lead into a sitting room, with adjoining chambers leading off of it.

It was a really quite a nice sitting room, surprisingly homey despite all the stone and looking around it she couldn't help but feel a pang of homesickness for Bag End. For even though the room was made out of stone, obviously, there was a quite a bit more wood in it than she had previously seen in any of the rooms she had so far visited in Erebor. And what wood she had seen used in Erebor was a dark, heavy wood, solid and carved with intricate detail of Dwarven Runes. The wood used in this sitting room however was a cheery honey colour, soft and warm; the furniture, the fire place, the shelves, all made out of wood that would have looked quite at home in Bag End. Books lined the shelves that covered one side of the chamber and already she was itchy to look over the great volumes, some she could just tell were about dwarven history and culture and already she was working out in her head how to ask whoever own this sitting chamber if it would be quite alright for her borrow a couple of volumes.

"Mama." Frodo came skipping out of one of the adjoining chambers, clutching his toy dragon and eagle in his hands. He was looking healthier that Bilbo had seen him in days, maybe still a little red around the nose but otherwise, his cheery, energetic self.

"Do you like?" Frodo asked as hugged himself to her, bouncing up and down in excitement before Bilbo could ask what exactly he was doing hiding away in someone's rooms. In fact, she should be asking that of her cousins for the three of them and her father were walking out of separate rooms looking quite pleased with themselves. Even Lotho looked less disgruntle than usual.

"What's going on? Where are we? Whose rooms are these?" She looked from her son, to her family to lastly dwarves, each one of them wearing identical smirks on their faces.

"Ours, Mama." Frodo informed her quite proudly.

"What?" She stared down at him than back at the dwarves.

"It was meant to be a surprise," Balin admitted, clearly taking pity upon her confused state, "a gift to you for us to give after your trial but…"

"Now just felt like a better time." Fili finished while Kili beamed beside him.

"A gift? You've give me… us, all this?" She waved her hand around the chambers, staring at the adjoining chambers.

"Your own apartment, yes." Balin nodded.

"But… why?"

"Because you old chambers were guest chambers, not for long-term living in." Dori explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "You couldn't very well stay all of winter in them, now could you?"

"I – we couldn't? All of winter?"

"Apparently it will be too dangerous, in winter, for us to return home once all of your…" Saradoc gave a vague wave of his hand, "is done. So we've been offered lodging for the winter with the promise of being returned home, with an escort, in spring."

"We always said you'd have your own rooms once we reclaimed Erebor," Kili reminded her with a wide grin.

"And a garden," Bilbo mumbled feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

"That too," Kili agreed, "we'll show you that later." There was tiny scuffle as he spoke and when she looked over at her dwarves she saw some giving Kili thoroughly exasperated looks, some were even pained, though she didn't quite understand why.

"C'mon." Bofur said moving to her side, "ya'll be wanting ta be shown 'round." This seemed to once more get her dwarves in high spirits and her family seemed only too happy to be shown around their new home again.

Her new apartments, as she was told by Balin was what Dwarven houses were called when they were living within a mountain or mountains, were of course not as large as Bag End, but she couldn't help but feeling right at home as she was shown each room. She was delighted by the fact that there was kitchen something her hobbit family was also delighting over, and of the fair sized pantry attached to as well, though the stocking of it needed a good deal of work. Each hobbit had his own bedroom, though Frodo's had been more or less been turned into a playroom with a small bed shoved to the side. Her bedroom had adjoining bathroom to it, with a bath that would fill with hot water from a hot spring when she turned the tap (she denied loudly that she squealed and did a little dance when she saw it), a large bed with a beautiful made quilt stood in the centre of her room, a smaller bed, meant for Frodo, stood against the wall. There was even a study, with even more books lining the walls, comfy armchairs and a richly made wooden fireplace. She found Sting sitting proudly upon the mantelpiece above the fireplace (she was guessing one of her cousins had set it there. If only because of the dishearten looks being sent at her little blade by her dwarves. A mantelpiece was no place for a weapon; she could almost hear Gloin moaning). A beautiful crafted desk was set against the opposite wall to where she stood with everything ready for her simply sit down and start writing. She would have liked to have had a window to have look out of, like she had in Bag End, but beggars can't be choosers and beside the tapestry they had put up above the desk was simply lovely, rich heavy thread, some that even shimmered in the right light. It was a tapestry of Erebor before the Smaug reign down his fiery terror upon all, with trees growing thickly around the mountain's roots and Dale standing proudly with cream white stone free of scorch marks and towers not yet broken beyond repair. And Erebor, standing so tall and magnificent, like it still did today but with an old and ancient pride that Bilbo was not sure it would ever regain. But then, Bilbo wasn't entirely sure if that was a bad thing.

"I honestly don't know what to say." Bilbo admitted once they had returned to the sitting room and she had settled her father into an armchair by the fireplace.

"Say ya like it and we'll be happy." Bofur replied with an easy smile.

"Like it?" Bilbo snorted, "I love it. It feels like home." And this, it appeared, to be the best thing she could have said for all her dwarves beamed with delight and relief.

"Good, that's how we wanted it." Sweet Ori admitted.

"So you did all this for me?" She asked, "us," She added quickly even though Saradoc and Paladin waved her off, utterly unbothered by the actual truth though it embarrassed her greatly. It was embarrassing to know that the dwarves had gone to all this effort solely for her and Frodo benefit, that her cousins had probably been an afterthought.

"We want you to feel happy here." Ori told her shyly, smiling sweetly.

"And to feel safe." Was added by Balin who was looking down at her hands with sad eyes.

"I do feel safe, and I am happy." She reassured them all with a smile before looking back her family who were looking happy also – well except Lotho but he seemed to have immersed himself with a book, and was sitting at the table, ignoring them all – but there was a distinctive tiredness to her younger cousins faces that had never been there before. Their faces were also looking somewhat aged. And there was no hiding the homesickness in their eyes.

"And you?" She asked them and two darlings gave her identical smiles.

"Of course we are." Paladin told her with somewhat forced enthusiasm.

"It's not us that we're worried about. Nor is it us that those villains," Saradoc carefully waved his arm around, "are worried about."

"I am sorry." She told them and she truly was. This was her mess she had dragged them so completely into, dragged them away from their families, they're very young families and into a world they did not understand and probably never would. With some luck, whoever was after Frodo and her, they would ignore her family. But still that didn't mean they would not worry and be afraid, for themselves, for her and Frodo. It was amazing they were all still taking everything that was happening around them with such good grace, that they weren't furious with her for not telling them what was going on.

But then, they weren't like her, always wanting to know what was going on around her, to understand what was going on, asking countless questions so she did understand. Paladin might be a Took, but his adventurous spirit truly went as far as pulling pranks and being brave in the most dire of circumstances (which was, of course, no small feat.). And Saradoc? Saradoc was very much like her, in a way, for he asked the questions she would ask, thought in very much the same way she did but at the same, she knew he was comfortable in the knowledge he already possessed and would probably rather not be asking the questions he was feeling like he was being forced to ask during this venture. Both hobbits as wonderfully Tookish and Brandybuck natured as they were, they were not like her.

If they had been asked to go an adventure, to become the company's burglar with no sure guarantee of their safe return, they would not have been moved into coming along just because they heard a pretty song. Even the treasure probably wouldn't have done all that much to persuade them. No, they had too much love the Shire to ever leave it willing. And because of her, they had been forced to leave it quite utterly against their will.

"Stop that." Saradoc waved a finger in her face bring her with a thud, back to earth, "Stop worrying and over thinking things. Everything is working itself out and once it has and winter is over, we'll be able to head home. But until then, we have dwarven hospitality to enjoy. So chin up, grumpy ray of sunshine, before you start giving us Hobbits a bad name." he gave her golden brown curls a pull, like he had done as a small boy which had her, completely instinctual of course, smacking him over the back of the head with her forearm, ignoring the twinge that went down her arm into her hand.

"Grumpy ray of sunshine?" Kili asked his face breaking into a wide grin which was quickly copied by Bofur, Fili and Ori

"Oh no." Bilbo groaned.

"It was her nickname as a tween." Paladin explained dodging Bilbo's attempts to shut him up. "Because she was so grumpy and yet has hair like autumn sunlight."

"And when she actually smiles, it rivals a summer sun in brightness." Saradoc added watching with delight as Bilbo's face almost exploded with colour.

"It does not!" Bilbo growled hotly while the dwarves nodded along with what her cousins were saying.

"Aye, I can see that." Gloin rumbled rubbing his heavy red beard.

"No you can't." Bilbo grumbled, her cheeks still flaming.

"Gotta remember that." Bofur was sniggering.

"No… you don't." She growled back at the dwarf, "Forget it, this instance!"

"Nah. Not on yah life, little bunny." She was going to kill him as her cousins looked at the dwarves questioningly.

"Bofur…" She growled, "I'm warning you. Say another word about that and I'm going to tell Nori exactly what happened to his favourite knife." Bofur looked over at her with narrowed eyes though his grin was still in place.

"Ya wouldn't." She fought back a snigger as she watched Bofur sneak a fugitive look over his shoulder, obviously fearing the currently none present Spy Master might suddenly appear out of thin air.

"You want to risk it?" She asked, arms crossed and looking back him with raised chin. Bofur threw up his hands, saying apologetically to the lads, "Sorry lads, mah hands are tied." To which Saradoc and Paladin moaned piteously about.

"Same goes for the rest of you," She added giving the rest of the dwarves a warning look, "I mean it, you two." She gave Fili and Kili her best 'do as mother says' looks, "or I will tell your uncle and mother what really happened with the ponies and the trolls…"

"And what, exactly," Kili let out a small yell as Thorin followed closely by Dis, Dwalin and Nori walked into Bilbo's new chambers, "did really happen with the ponies and the trolls?" Thorin was looking at his nephews with raised eyebrows while Dis looked ready to throttle her boys. Nori was fighting back a grin and Dwalin was simply shaking his head.

"Ah…"

Bilbo blushed when Dis and Thorin both looked at her expectedly. She hadn't actually meant it when she threaten the boys with telling Thorin and Dis what had really happened with her becoming involved with the whole Troll mess, what with the boys all but leaving her to try and steal the ponies back. The ponies they had been meant to be watching. And she still didn't know what they had been doing to have missed seeing a giant troll not only steal the ponies (who weren't exactly quiet during their capturing) but also missed hearing a tree being uprooted. And actually, she had thought Thorin knew, more or less, the ins and outs of that story, but obviously not.

"Empty threats." She heard Bofur tease and she glared back at him, furiously mouth 'knife' which promptly shut him up.

Thorin seemed to have decided, and Frodo was now by his side seeking his attention, that he would follow through with his enquiry later and instead focus on asking her and the hobbits what they (she) thought of the new apartments. She and her fellow hobbits gushed away about the rooms though as she spoke she was steadily trying to move closer to the shelves of books on the other side of the room. Not to read, of course, for that would be completely rude to read while she had guests, and she wasn't like Lotho, but she wanted to at least get a peek at some of the titles, fighting back a squeal when she saw that her book shelve included several volumes of elvish text and mythology.

"I think you made a wrong move with the books." Saradoc comment dryly and smirked when several dwarves looked at him confusion, "You're not going to get a coherent word out of her until she's read every one of those books and then, she'll just want to gush over them and be asking opinions of this and that. I hope you realise you've now set in motion weeks upon weeks of her talking none stop about whatever is in those books and you won't get a word in edge ways in regards to anything else."

"Shut up Saradoc." Bilbo grumbled by the bookshelf, turning over one of the light volumes cautiously over in her hands, her face turning into a scowl as her bandaged fingers fumbled to turn the pages of the volumes.

"Maybe," Balin said slowly, "until her hands heal and her trial is over, our burglar should stay away from the books." The utterly horrified expression written over Bilbo's face was comical.

"That," She said as she awkwardly hugged the volume to her chest, "is beyond cruel. That is worse than leading a dying man to water and saying he cannot drink any of it, can only look."

"You're not dying though." Nori pointed out with a smirk.

"I'm dying for the written word." She retorted still hugging the volume to her, almost as if her life truly did depend upon it.

So it was decided, Bilbo could indeed read the books that she had been leant by Ori from the great Erebor Library (and books that had come from the private collection of several company members) but she could only read volumes that were light and not heavy or could inflict any possible damage to her hands. She would also, when it came to her trial and business in regards to it, set her book/s well to the aside and focus on what was being asked of her.

It was like she was a tween all over again. She received many a sympathetic look from Ori and knew that she wasn't alone when it came to these sorts of boundaries when it came to books, so she took some comfort from him, though she still pouted and was constantly fighting the desire to yell that she was a grown woman, Master of Bag End thank you very much, and could very well do as she pleased, which if that meant reading her weight and beyond in books then so be it. But she held her tongue and bitterly agreed to Balin's terms; terms she just knew Thorin had a hand in if his not quite meeting her in the eyes, focusing solely upon their son was anything to go by. Coward.

Balin also brought up the oh-so-joyful news that her trial was quite a bit closer than she had originally thought it to be. In her mind she still had weeks before the blasted thing, but according to Balin it was something like days. Well a bit over a week away, but still, that overall only felt like days.

She was filled with an odd sense of exhilaration and terror at the news. Her sense of exhilaration came from the waiting and not truly knowing being finally, finally over and the damn thing was finally going to happen. And terror because the damn thing was finally going to happen and soon!

Balin went over, yet again, that her trial was not about condemning her or anything like that, but for her to simply to tell her side of the story so that when they lifted her banishment and label as traitor no one, be that dwarf, man, elf or hobbit could say that the rescinding was unfair and/or done illegally. Or due to favouritism.

Bilbo knew all this off by heart by now but still nodded her head along with what the dear fellow was saying while her dwarves and cousins fussed around the small kitchen down the hall, squabbling merrily over what to cook, hobbit or dwarven recipes. From the sounds of it, her cousins were winning. Frodo was by the fireplace, sitting in Thorin's lap as Thorin recounted a story from his childhood, running around Erebor with Dwalin and his younger (and sadly now deceased) brother Frerin before Smaug came and ruined everything. Her father appeared to be listening to Thorin's tale also, for weirdly, her father quite liked Thorin and Thorin seemed to have a good bit of respect for her father.

Hidden beneath her plain blue dress she wore her mithril coat, feeling the same sense of security wearing it as she did in the days traveling home to the Shire. And around his neck, she spotted only when he moved his head just so, she could make out the cord on which her mother's wedding band hung.

She didn't quite know what it meant, for them both to be once more wearing the gifts the other had given them. Not now anyway, but what did it matter, truly? She was happy to see him with it and she felt so protected and cared for once more donning her coat. Maybe once her trial was over… She shook her head. She couldn't think like that, not yet at least, but with time…

She smiled and forced herself to return her full attention back to Balin who was giving her one of his gentle, but utterly exasperated looks that he got whenever he caught her drifting off into her head. She gave him an apologetic smile and motion for him to continue, which he did with a tiny huff but a knowing sparkle was definitely twinkling within his blue eyes. She blushed before asking him to repeat the last thing he had said, which he did with the grace of grandfather fondly amused by his granddaughter's daydreams and wondering mind.

Author's Note: Alright so here's my reasons for not updating earlier. Work, as usual, has taken up a lot of my time. It's be stressful, but that's nothing new, though there are new things that were and still are adding to my stress levels. This fic used to be an escape from all that but yeah, not quite so much anymore, we are now getting into my main reason for not updating and actually not coming onto or Archieve Of Our Own for almost a month now. I discovered and... wow, already my stomach is stewing and the fist in my chest is growing tighter and aching, anyway, I discovered that someone has taken bit and pieces here and there from my fic, this fic, my safe haven, my escape from my stress.
The story's summary is more or less the same as mine, the first couple of chapters, at least up to three because that's where I stopped reading because I felt too sick, because I just read too much of my stuff in it, some of it is reworded and changed, while some is just a copy and paste job, is mine. And being the coward that I am I just... ran away and this is basically the first time I've come back on both sites.
I tried writing some thing to the author of the story but the words just don't come and if the do they become overly emotional and heated and... I just, I'm stressed enough with my actual life without this. It might have changed, the fanfic, in later chapters, it might be all their own stuff now but I can't... I just, I worked so hard on this, you have no idea how hard it is for me to write, how much I agonies over every word, sentence, paragraph, chapter. My dad says I should take it as a compliment, even if it is backhanded but I just... I can't. I just don't know what to do or what to feel. If they had said something, told me that they were going to use stuff, then maybe... I don't know. It just hurts, even though I know its stupid.

So yeah, that's why I haven't been around, I just haven't felt like writing this or reading fanfiction. I just like to say a big thanks to those who did tell me about this. I'm sorry I didn't respond to your PM's but like I said, I haven't really been in the mood to deal with this... still not, but thanks for letting me know. And again, sorry for not responding, I'll remedy that shortly.