~Wavering Destiny~
by Strawberry Moon Rose
I've been super busy with graduation, but I've managed to write as much as I can!
A bit of a longer chapter, hope you don't mind.
04/01/21 - My friend on instagram, veganimegirl, and I collaborated for a fan art piece for this chapter! Head to my instagram, taylorlynn04art, and scroll to April 1st, 2021 if you want to check it out before reading.
Enjoy =D
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi.
Chapter 19: The Tide is High
The moon was almost too bright to look at. Three times the size of Earth's moon, its dusty craters and shadows created a rabbit-less, abstract design.
"What are you looking at?" Seiya whispered into her ear. Embracing Usagi from behind in the water, she felt the the air was getting cooler as the night grew on. The bobbing waves that sloshed to her shoulders felt warm.
"The moon," replied Usagi. "It's so beautiful..."
"Hmm...which one?"
"What do you mean 'which one'? I'm still talking about the moon."
"Me too. Our planet has three of them."
"What?" She scanned the sky and there it was - a smaller moon hanging just over the palace. Usagi wasn't sure if it was rising or setting.
"I forget you don't know some of these things," said Seiya. "The other one will rise in a few hours. There's lots of neat things on Kinmoku. You should stay here longer to see them."
Usagi swallowed. "I wish I could."
Seiya's lips gently brushed against her ear, tickling her. "I missed you so much, you know."
"I know..."
"I thought about you everyday. You can ask Taiki and Yaten, or even the Princess - I was a mess when we came back here. And not just because we had to rebuild parts of our planet."
"Seiya..." Usagi bit her lip in frustration. It was heartbreaking imagining what the past year had brought for the Sailor Starlight. She remembered the quietness in Seiya's eyes when she first saw her outside the palace upon their arrival. But within the past few days she seemed more like the Seiya she knew from her time on Earth.
Seiya pressed her forehead into Usagi's wet hair. "I wanted to visit you, but I didn't know if I could. I didn't think I had the courage either..."
A familiar welling puddled in Usagi's eyes. "Seiya, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through, right from the start. Maybe I shouldn't have come here, but I couldn't help it."
"How are you gonna leave after all this?"
"I don't know..." The aching in her chest made it hard to breathe. The prickly sensation sprang to her eyes again, and warmth spilled over.
"How can I be okay when nothing makes sense like it used to?" Usagi's chin wobbled. "I don't know what's going on between us anymore. I thought we were just friends. I mean, I know you liked me back on Earth, but... And now...now I th-think maybe I felt the same way, but never really noticed it... Not until you left, and I followed you."
Seiya spun her around into a hug. "Oh, Bun Head..."
Usagi's voice was muffled as she spoke into the wet material of Seiya's shirt. "Now I know how I feel, but now I don't know what to do about it. I have Mamo and my duty..."
Seiya's insides wallowed at the mention of her boyfriend. She didn't know much about him, and the guilt of what they were doing surfaced.
"I'm sorry for putting you in this position," she said softly.
Usagi shook her head. "Don't be. It's my fault."
"No, it's mine. I really thought he was deceiving you back then. But now... I don't have any excuse."
"Neither do I." Usagi hugged her tighter. "But I think it's too late to turn back. I'm the one who came here. And deep down, I knew why all along."
Seiya was at a loss for words, so she just held her. She held her until they got too cold and strode out of the water and made their way back to the palace. Hugging each other tight, as the night air rose goosebumps on their skin, and the warmth of each others' body heat under clingy wet clothes made it all worthwhile.
12:49 AM
The red numbers of the clock on the nightstand burned Rei's eyes. Just fall asleep already.
The more she thought about the time she lost to insomnia, the more awake she became.
Giving a sigh of frustration, she shoved the unfamiliar blankets off and sat up in bed. One glance across the room and she saw that her blonde roommate was fast asleep. Minako giggled to herself, then rolled over so the moonlight streaming in through the window illuminated her smiling face.
"Minako? You awake?" Tired of staring at the clock and counting endless lines of sheep, Rei padded across the plush carpet and dropped to her knees beside the bed, peering at her face.
"Ahaha, oh Yaten, stop it!" Minako mumbled and pulled the blankets to her chin.
Rei rolled her eyes. I should've known.
The Goddess of Love was indeed in love, Rei was sure of it. There was no other explanation. She was certain something had happened at the boutique to make her start acting like a lovesick teenager, and Rei sensed a guardian with a silver ponytail had something to do with it.
A bittersweet smile formed on Rei's face. She wasn't sure how she felt about her hunch. She was happy for her friend, and seeing her even more smiley than usual was contagious. She knew Minako was crazy about Yaten, but she wasn't sure if Minako knew what she was getting into. Surely she understood that in a few days they'd have to return home. As they say, long distance relationships never work out..
I just don't want you to get hurt... Rei stroked Minako's face. Tracing her fingers down the side of her warm cheek, she felt her chest tighten. Minako...why didn't you tell me about you two?
Rei swallowed. She knew perfectly well that the Starlights weren't men and technically never were... Given her personality, Rei wondered if Minako was serious about dating a girl. Rei was sure she was still boy crazy, but what was so special about Yaten that made her able to look past gender? Rei used to have a crush on Yaten too, but that was before their identities were revealed. It was more so their roles as guardians that fizzled her crush on the members of the Three Lights, but that didn't seem to be the case with Minako.
She studied her face for a few minutes before she stood up. Not having to defend the world from enemies had given them all more free time than they ever had since before becoming sailor guardians. During that time, Rei and Minako had become quite close. They had realized their opposite personalities seemed to naturally attract. After all, they were the guardians of Mars and Venus, the opposing planets. Rei considered herself as close to Minako as she was to Usagi, but with something more. She realized it wasn't her decision to make. Minako was free to love who she wanted to, no matter what part of the universe he or she was from.
Rei brushed a clump of bangs of Minako's sleeping eyes. I'd like to say I hope everything works out for you two, but I'd be lying...
Whispers from the hall made her jump slightly. Rei wondered if they'd been there the whole time or if she'd been too preoccupied to notice.
She tiptoed over to their door, pressed her ear to the wood, and held her breath. Unable to make out anything, Rei pulled the door open an inch and squinted into the darkness.
Two figures were standing in the middle of the hall. One was on the taller side and the other much shorter in comparison. Until Rei's eyes adjusted, she couldn't tell who they were. Although something about the shape of the shorter shadow's hair seemed very familiar...
"Come on, Bun Head, you can shower in my room," whispered the taller figure.
"I don't know..."
"You might as well since you're going to be sleeping with me again, right?"
"Fine. Just let me grab a pair of pajamas..."
"Don't worry about it, you can wear some of mine."
"But-"
"Hurry, before anybody comes!"
"Alright, alright! Geez."
Rei was flabbergasted. Usagi is sneaking around with Seiya in the middle of the night?! And what's this business of them sleeping together?
She sucked in a breath of air, a devious smile crept onto her face. She was torn between ripping the door open and surprising them, or staying quiet to see what they were up to. Rei wanted more than anything to see Usagi's face when she'd jump out and catch them red-handed. She wanted an explanation. But curiosity got the best of her and she stayed put, silent as a mouse, watching them through the sliver crack of the doorway.
"Are you that cold, Bun Head?"
"Y-Yes!"
"Let me warm you up."
"F-fine..." Usagi leaned against the Starlight.
Rei's jaw dropped, making a slight popping sound. Usagi?! What the hell! Why are you - and Seiya... Her lips curled into a crafty smile and she struggled to keep down a snicker. She slapped her hand over her mouth to keep quiet.
"Shh! Did you hear something?" Usagi hissed.
It was silent for a few passing seconds. Rei hoped it was too dark for them to notice her slightly ajar door. She tried to keep as still and quiet as possible. The only sound was her heart pounding. Thump. Thump.
"I don't think so. But come on..."
The two girls walked close, advancing down the hall. When they were far enough away, Rei creaked the door open further, and peeked her head out just as they disappeared into Seiya's bedroom. Rei blinked in a mixture of bewilderment and amusement.
She was sure she hadn't imagined it: Usagi had just gone into Seiya's bedroom.
Oh boy.
Rei stepped back into her room and leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to decide what to do. After a minute of pondering, she crawled into her bed. If thoughts were wasps, her head was a busy hive swarming with them. She didn't even know where to begin processing what she'd just witnessed.
Without a doubt, they were up to something. She knew there was something between Usagi and Seiya the moment they'd gotten to Kinmoku. Heck, she always knew there was something between them! But she didn't think that it had escalated that far...
Rei hugged the blanket to her body and rolled to face the wall. Her feelings towards Minako suddenly didn't seem so important anymore. Their decisions were their own in the end. But Usagi was her princess, her leader, and what she did affected them all and their futures. She couldn't ignore this, whether it was what it looked like or not.
After the initial humor wore off, a cross of fear and displeasure flashed before Rei when she realized the seriousness of Usagi's actions.
How can she do this? I always knew she liked Seiya, but what about Mamoru? Crystal Tokyo won't exist if she doesn't end up with him! How can she throw that away so easily? Rei sighed, bringing the back of her hand to her forehead. Or...is this not so sudden after all?
Rei bit her lip. She couldn't act like she hadn't seen this coming. She saw the way the two of them looked at each other, whether Usagi had realized it or not. It was obvious something was fishy, and now she knew what.
It all made sense now; why Usagi had been so upset when the Starlights hadn't visited, and why things with her and Mamoru hadn't seemed to be as flowery as they had before he left for America.
Secretly, she admired Seiya and Usagi's relationship. It was so natural and fun. She'd never seen Usagi so happy before. Not the smile she'd force back home before they left, but the kind of smile that lit up the whole town like a full moon - the way it's supposed to shine. Its light not hidden behind the Earth, but illuminated by the brilliant sun; lit up by the stars.
Oh boy, she sure is screwing things up. It's so like her, really. Stupid Usagi. I hope she understands what she's doing.
Rei glanced at Minako on the other side of the room. I never realized how life changing this trip was going to be. But what do I do? I can't change the way either one of them feels. Just wait 'til the others find out...
Oh god, Usagi sure is a moron! Haruka will never stand for this, she hates Seiya! Is this why she didn't tell them we were leaving? This is more complicated then I thought. Damn it. Why do I feel like this isn't going to end well for anyone?
Rei closed her eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. By some miracle, she hoped when she awoke in the morning, the tangled mess would be fixed.
She surely was dreaming.
The apartment seemed cold and empty; just like his refrigerator after Usagi would stop by.
Mamoru Chiba sat back in his rolling chair, pushing away from the computer desk. He'd spent the last three hours typing up a paper, and his eyes were starting to get sore from staring at the screen.
He stood up and walked over to the patio door. Stretching his biceps behind his head, he gazed up at the night sky. The moon was painted in the corner, barely visible behind the dark clouds rolling in front of it.
A crescent moon in the shape of a fingernail. The sight reminded him of his bunny for the first time since they left. It had been three days already. Three days without her stopping by, bugging him like a child. Usagi had stopped dropping by lately anyways. Whenever he asked her about it, she told him he was imagining it. Despite her increasingly distracted behavior, he often took her presence for granted, and it wasn't until that moment that he started to wonder how she was on the faraway planet.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Soft thuds on the door startled him.
"Coming!" he called, as he made his way to the front of the apartment. "Who could be here at this time of night?" he mumbled to himself. Stealing a glance at the clock, he realized it was after eleven.
Mamoru peered through the peephole. Standing in the hallway was a tall girl near his age. She was sophisticated looking with long, straight hair, and was dressed fashionably, yet appropriately, in a dress she had designed herself. Mamoru smiled and pulled the door open.
"Setsuna!" Mamoru greeted her with a smile. "How are you?"
Setsuna Meioh smiled briskly and gave a quick nod. Her crimson eyes peered over Mamoru's shoulder, darting nervously around the room behind him. "Is she here?" she asked, getting straight to the point.
Mamoru furrowed his brows. "Um, no, she isn't."
"Do you know where I can find her?" Her eyes narrowed, mysterious and unreadable. The sharp gleam was full of knowledge and intuition.
He scratched the side of his head sheepishly, remembering Usagi's warning to keep their visit a secret. "It's...kind of a long story. How about you come in? I'll make some coffee." Mamoru stepped aside, letting her into his apartment.
Setsuna slipped off her shoes in the entryway while Mamoru went back into the kitchen. He didn't even know where to begin. He'd been telling everyone that the girls were up in Hokkaido, visiting some old friends. But could he really lie to her face like that? How much did she know? It was Setsuna after all, and something told him that she knew exactly where they were, and she'd come for details.
The green-haired girl lowered herself onto the hard sofa, sitting tall and proper with her hands folded in her lap. The scent of bitter, cheap coffee drifted through the air.
"Here we go." Mamoru entered the room after few minutes. He set two steaming mugs on the coffee table before them. He plopped down on the chair across from her, resting his elbows on his knees. Tentatively, he brought the drink to his face and blew.
"She's not here," Setsuna stated in a quiet voice. The way she enunciated the word 'here' implied more than just his apartment.
Mamoru winced. The robust liquid burned his lips, scalding his tongue. "Not exactly..."
"That's what I thought."
"Is there something wrong, Setsuna?" Mamoru asked, wrinkling his forehead. She looked distraught, and kept glancing around the room. Her mind appeared to be a million miles away.
Setsuna remained silent. She reached for her own mug on the table and sipped it gingerly. Mamoru wondered if she'd heard his question or was just choosing to ignore it. She set the drink back on the table with a sharp clink and said solemnly, "The future is changing."
"What do you mean?"
"I felt it not too long ago. A small waver, like static," Setsuna said more to herself than Mamoru. "But it was big enough to cause me to temporarily lose sight of-" She closed her mouth and looked away.
"Lose sight of who? Did something happen? Is Usako okay?" His voice began to rise and his grip on the hot mug tightened.
"No, she is fine," she assured him. "But..."
"But what?"
Setsuna looked him square in the eye. "She's on the Sailor Starlight's planet now, am I correct?"
Mamoru clenched his jaw, his gaze breaking away. He nodded, realizing it was useless to try hiding it from her. "Yes, she is. All five of them left a few days ago. She wanted me to keep it a secret from you guys. I think she planned on returning before you four noticed. Although I don't understand why she didn't want you to know in the first place..."
Setsuna clicked her lips. "That makes sense then."
"Huh?"
"Although I am not currently watching over the gate of time, I can still feel it. Right now, decisions are being made, conscious or not, that are reshaping the future existence," Setsuna explained.
"I don't understand."
"That is alright. I apologize, Mamoru, for visiting so late, but I had to confirm that is where she's at. I will be on my way now." She made a move to stand up.
Mamoru ran his hand through his black hair and stood up after her. "What do you mean by 'the future is changing'?" he asked quickly, "I thought everything was locked in place. I mean, I've been to the future before. How can it change?"
"The future is what becomes of choices made in the present."
Trying to read her expression was like trying to read a foreign language. Eventually he gave up. "Are you saying that the future isn't set in stone?"
"That is correct. Technically, it is constantly changing in small ways that generally have little impact. The future you saw back then of Crystal Tokyo was the future at the time. But a major decision can rewrite everything."
"What's the major decision that's altering it? And what does Usako and Kinmoku have to do with this?"
"Are you really asking me that?" Setsuna gave him a pleading look. Even she was aware of Usagi and Seiya's furtive, yet palpable feelings for each other last year. What other reason had drawn her to the planet so desperately? How could anyone not see it?
Mamoru had no clue what she was talking about. He knew nothing of Kinmoku or the Sailor Starlights for that matter. They'd left soon after he'd regained his star seed, and he had nothing but respect for them. And a little jealousy of course, since one of them seemed to have become very close to Usagi, not to mention protecting her when he couldn't. He didn't like to think about that though, and wouldn't admit that he was a little wary when Usagi had told him of their visit.
"What's this new future consist of? It must be a big change if you're coming all this way to tell me..." Mamoru tried again.
"As the keeper of time, I cannot reveal that to you. Mamoru, the future was never meant to be told to anyone in the first place. In the end, I have no place to interfere with anyone's choices." She looked away and mumbled to herself, "But I don't know if I can allow this to happen..."
Mamoru sighed. "It'd help if I knew what you were talking about. Why are you telling me this, anyways? Is there something I should do?"
Setsuna parted her lips, but hesitated. A second later she said, "I do not know."
"You so mysterious, you know that?"
Setsuna smiled, but it was gone in an instant. "I believe I know what must be done now that I have confirmed her location." She nodded and stepped towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I need to speak with the others."
Mamoru cringed. "I don't know, Usako didn't want them to know about their visit for a reason, I presume. Don't you think it's best if-"
Setsuna let out a breath of air. "I understand that, and I apologize. But I must discuss with them what's going on."
"What is going on?" Mamoru was getting frustrated with her riddles.
"I'm afraid it may be best if you didn't know," Setsuna said quietly. She reached for the door handle.
"Setsuna, please wait! It's not safe for a girl to be walking around at this time of night," Mamoru objected.
"Thank you for worrying, but I assure you, I will be fine."
"You can stay here if you'd like," Mamoru offered, pointing down the hall. "There's an extra room that Chibi-Usa usually stays in."
The mention of her name made Setsuna wince. "Thank you, but I really need to get going-" Her voice choked up and she hid her face.
Mamoru placed his hand on her shoulder. Setsuna did not flinch away from his touch. It was warm and comforting. Familiar in a strange, distant way. She welcomed it.
"I'll take care of it." She looked up at him, eyes rimmed with tears.
"Setsuna..." Mamoru uttered, surprised. Something serious must be about to happen to put her on the verge of crying. What had Usagi unconsciously done that was so life-changing? Why wouldn't she tell him?
"Goodbye, Mamoru. Thank you for the coffee." With that, she brushed away his hand and stepped out the door before he could stop her.
"Wait!" Mamoru dashed into the hall. But it was too late. She was long gone.