~Wavering Destiny~
by Strawberry Moon Rose

Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Chapter 33: Wide Awake

Like an elevator free falling from the top floor, Seiya hit rock bottom so quickly she went numb. Her stomach flip flopped. She wanted to puke. Bun Head has a kid with him. She has a child. This whole time. But how? How did she hide the baby all this time I've known her? How did she go to school?

"Before your mind runs too far away, you should know she isn't born yet. Chibi-Usa exists only in the future," Tuxedo Mask offered.

"W...what?"

Pluto stepped forward. "The 30th century to be exact. Small Lady lives in Crystal Tokyo with King Endymion and Neo Queen Serenity."

"King En...who?"

Tuxedo Mask crossed his arms and exchanged glances with Pluto. "Just as I thought, she hasn't told you anything. No wonder you're so clueless," he said.

"Does someone want to tell me what's going on here?" Seiya demanded. She hated feeling ignorant, especially when her world was crumbing right before her very eyes.

"Chibi-Usa is me and Mamo's future daughter, Seiya," Usagi said quietly.

Seiya turned back to the girl in her arms.

"Chibi-Usa came back to the past many times. She...she lived at home with me for a while. She left before you came Seiya, that's why you never met her. I haven't seen her in a few years, that's why...I wasn't thinking...what would happen if you and me..." A tear slid down her cheek, landing in her lap. Usagi buried her face in her hands and mourned silently.

"Bun Head..." Seiya watched her cry, frozen. Her words made her feel queasy. Coming from anyone else, she wouldn't believe it, but from Usagi, she knew it was the truth.

Pluto continued, "Because of what's happened between you two, the future is changing. If Usagi and Mamoru don't get together, their daughter won't exist."

Seiya's head was spinning. They were dumping too much information on her at one time. She didn't even know time travel was possible. And did they say 30th century?

Mamoru stared at Seiya. "Now you know why we came here. We have to protect our destiny from changing by any means. If we don't, we're all going to lose a very close friend, and certainly you wouldn't want that for Usako, now would you?"

His words ached. Seiya reached out to comfort her, but drew back. She wasn't sure how Usagi felt and didn't want to make it worse. She was the reason Usagi was crying. Because of the relationship they shared, someone's life was at risk. Someone very important to her. Somebody Seiya didn't know existed until now.

Seiya suddenly felt out of place. Here she'd been, thinking she and Usagi stood a chance together. Not even just now, but during their search for their Princess too. She'd been completely unaware of this secret all along. How could she have kept something so big from her? Did she even know Usagi at all? How could she compete with something like that?

It hit Seiya that she never really stood a chance in the first place. This changed everything.

Seiya closed her eyes. "Bun Head...if I'd known this, I wouldn't have...I never would have...I'm so sorry," she looked away in a desperate attempt to hide the unborn tears in her eyes.

"Seiya, don't be!" Usagi cried. She found the Starlight's hand. "This isn't your fault! You didn't do anything wrong!"

Seiya said nothing. She brought her other hand to her mouth. "I'm...sorry," she uttered and looked away.

"This doesn't change anything between us, right?" Usagi gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm still the same person! I love you, Seiya. I still do. We can get through this somehow, I know it!"

In a way, she was right; their feelings towards each other remained. The time they'd spent together on both Earth and Kinmoku could never be erased.

But the circumstances had changed. There was no going back.

Tuxedo Mask stepped forward. "Usako," he said.

Trembling, she looked up at him. "Yeah?" It was the first they'd directly spoken to each other since he'd arrived. She had been so wrapped up in her own feelings, she hadn't even stopped to wonder how he must have felt about the whole situation. She couldn't imagine the pain that must have stricken him seeing the two of them together like that on top of the possibility of losing his only daughter. She felt guilty as hell looking at him.

Tuxedo Mask knelt beside Seiya and Usagi. He reached out and dried a tear rolling down her cheek with his glove. "Usako... Come on love, what are you doing?"

"What...am I doing?" she repeated.

"Come with me. I can make this all better." He extended his hand.

Usagi stared at it like it was foreign. She tightened her grasp on Seiya's fragile hand instead.

Tuxedo Mask pretended not to notice. "Usako...surely you know what you have to do. You don't want Chibi-Usa to disappear, do you?"

"Of course not!"

"Neither do I. I want you and her to be my future. That's what we promised, didn't we? To protect the Earth together?"

"But..." Usagi bit her lip and looked back to Seiya. She remembered promising her that the next time she saw Mamoru, she'd tell him the truth. She was going to have a long talk with him and discuss their relationship. They were going to talk about moving on and finding happiness on their own terms.

He sighed. "Usako, this isn't that hard. Who's more important to you, Chibi-Usa or Seiya?" he snapped.

Usagi froze. She stared into his white mask, unwilling to believe he'd just asked her such a cruel question. How could he expect her to choose between two people that meant the world to her? Just like that he wanted an answer?

"Because if you stay with her, Chibi-Usa will not be born. She'll just be a memory to all of us. This isn't about just you. We have to go now before it's too late," he went on.

Usagi balled her hand in her bangs. Her voice cracked when she spoke. "I...I love them both," she answered. "I don't want to lose either one of them from my life."

Pluto stood back wordlessly.

Seiya couldn't take it. Usagi didn't deserve to make a decision like this and Mamoru wasn't making it any easier for her.

"Bun Head," Seiya said, gathering the strength to find her voice. "I'm not going to make you choose between me and your daughter. That isn't right."

Usagi looked up with watery blue eyes.

The Starlight forced a smile while holding back tears. "It's gonna be okay, really. I'm here for you, always. No matter what happens."

"Seiya..."

"Come here, Bun Head," said Seiya, holding her arms open.

Before Usagi had the chance to react, Seiya pulled her into an embrace. It was a different kind of hug than usual.

Seiya whispered into her strawberry-scented hair, "Just promise me that you'll be happy. That's all I've ever wanted, believe it or not. It's...not going to be easy for me, I can tell you that. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise."

Usagi gasped. "Seiya, what are you saying?"

Seiya thought back to Usagi holding her niece, baby Kazuya, in her arms at the party. It'd only been a few hours ago, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

"You'll make a good mom, Bun Head," Seiya whispered. A hot tear slid down her cheek and landed in blonde hair.

"Seiya!" Usagi pulled back, eyes big. "No... I can't just leave you! Not after everything we've been through together! Is this a joke?!"

Seiya swallowed. "I'm sorry, Bun Head. If I'd known this earlier I wouldn't have persisted. I can tell Chibi-Usa is very important to you. I don't want you to lose her because of me. I would never want you to make a sacrifice like that. I'm not a monster. I just love you with all my h-heart." Her voice choked up at the end.

"But Seiya, I can't lose you! You're important to me!" Usagi wailed, clutching her shoulders. She broke down and cried on her chest.

Seiya held her close and shut her eyes. She could feel Usagi's body trembling as she sobbed. Warm, terrified, and too innocent to have to deal with this kind of impossible situation. It took every ounce of willpower in her system to pull away.

"You should go now," Seiya whispered. Tears trickled down her cheeks freely.

"S-Seiya..." She'd never seen Seiya cry before. It frightened her even more.

Seiya squeezed her eyes shut and stood up. Their contact broke.

"Wait!" Usagi scrambled to her feet and turned to Pluto. "There has to be another way! Anything! Can't I have Chibi-Usa with Mamo and still be with Seiya? Yeah, that's it!"

Pluto shook her head. "It doesn't work that way. Even if you and Mamoru had a child like that, it may not be Small Lady. The only way for her to exist is for you two to be together. After all, it was your love for each other that created her in the first place."

Our...love? Usagi fought back tears. "But...what if I leave and Chibi-Usa still doesn't happen? What if it's already...t-too late?"

"It's not yet. I'm making sure that does not happen. But sitting here debating is not helping the situation."

Tuxedo Mask placed his hand on her shoulder. "She's right, Usako. Come on now and stop being silly, we have a long trip back home."

Usagi flinched under his touch. She hung her head, speaking to the ground. "So what you're telling me is that if I stay with Seiya, Chibi-Usa disappears from the future, but if I go home with Mamo, me and Seiya...?"

Pluto nodded solemnly.

The white reflections in Usagi's eyes faded. She looked blank, like her heart crystal had just been snatched. "This can't be real...no...this isn't happening to me...this is a dream, it has to be," she mumbled.

Seiya stepped towards Usagi and Tuxedo Mask. "Bun Head, I-"

Pluto intervened, standing between them. "I am sorry it has to be this way," she said. She sounded genuine. "I know you do not completely understand the situation, but trust us, this is the right thing for everyone. Until we get this sorted out, it would be best if you two didn't see each other. We don't want this happening again. Do you understand?"

Somehow this situation seemed familiar. Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto keeping them away from each other just like before. When were they going to be able to make decisions for themselves? Would it always be like this?

"How long?" Seiya whispered.

"Excuse me?"

The stinging sensation of tears burned her eyes once more. "How long...until we can meet again? Even if we can't be together, we can still be friends. Or are you going to take that away from us too?" Seiya glared under thick lashes.

Pluto looked to the ground. She said quietly, "You should live your life as if she doesn't exist. It'll be best for both of you."

"What?"

Pluto turned to Tuxedo Mask and the stunned Usagi. "Come on, get the others, we have to go."

Seiya stepped after them, only to stumble and fall to her knees. She welcomed the physical pain. It was nothing compared the the unbearable, heart wrenching feelings crushing her insides.

"No... This can't be true. You can't just take her away from me!" Seiya cried to the ground. She grabbed fistfuls of dirt. She hung her head, watering the grass with salty tears. There was nothing else she could do. It was up to Usagi whether she stayed or not, and how she looked now, glossy eyed like a doll, she wasn't in any state to object to them dragging her away.

Suddenly, the back door of the palace flung open. A short, silver-haired figure in a green dress stormed into the night followed by a confused blonde.

"I knew I sensed the golden starseed close by." Yaten walked briskly, which was unusual for her, towards the fountain. She froze when she spotted Seiya crumpled on her knees and Tuxedo Mask supporting Usagi.

"Tuxedo Mask! Pluto!" Minako raced over to her friend. "Usagi! Are you okay? What happened? Talk to me!"

No amount of yelling or shaking broke her from her trance. Her blue eyes didn't even seem to see her friend. "Chibi-Usa...Seiya..." She kept mumbling the names over and over.

Minako tensed. Seeing Seiya on her knees, with her mascara smeared down her cheeks, it didn't take her long to connect the dots. It made sense why Setsuna and Mamoru of all people would be there.

"Oh my god," Minako breathed, taking a step back. The truth spread like poison throughout her body, paralyzing her as well. How did I not see this coming?

Yaten dropped down by Seiya and shook her shoulders. "Hey! What's going on? Snap out of it! Seiya! What happened?!"

She didn't reply.

Yaten drew her hand back, connecting with Seiya's cheek in a blink of an eye.

Seiya winced and turned away. The stinging sensation brought tears of pain to her eyes. She didn't mind. She'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Yaten cried. "Get up!" She knew she was being ridiculous, but more than anything she was scared out of her mind. Seiya never acted like this.

Just then, Taiki and Ami burst into the backyard, followed by Rei and Makoto.

"Yaten, what's the problem?" Taiki called, running over to them. She stopped short when she saw everyone.

"Tuxedo Mask!" Ami gasped.

"Is that...Sailor Pluto?" Rei squinted into the darkness.

Tuxedo Mask looked at them. "Everybody, transform immediately. We're going home," he commanded.

"What? Why?" Makoto asked.

"Is everything all right?" Kakyuu's voice made everyone freeze. They all turned to the red-haired princess making her way over to them. The worry was evident on her delicate face. Everyone hesitated for a moment.

Pluto responded first. "Something important has come up back home. We apologize it is so sudden, but we will all be leaving soon. Excuse us for the intrusion."

Kakyuu's orange eyes enlarged. "If it's necessary." Her collected words did not match her alarmed expression. She walked gingerly over to Seiya and knelt to her level. She gave Yaten a nod and the Starlight backed off, still shaken.

"Fighter, are you okay?" she whispered.

Seiya couldn't bring herself to look at her princess.

Kakyuu found the Starlight's hand and held it reassuringly. She, like everyone, knew how Seiya felt about Usagi. Seeing how Tuxedo Mask was her, Kakyuu knew something must have happened between the four of them since she'd left. She was starting to regret letting them in with little explanation. She trusted them because of their relations to Sailor Moon, but she hated seeing one of her guardians torn apart like this, even though she had warned her to try and forget Sailor Moon.

"What're you all waiting for? Hurry and transform!" Tuxedo Mask barked to the girls.

Rei looked like she wanted to bolt over and snatch Usagi right out of Tuxedo Mask's arms. If she wasn't so confused, she probably would have.

Rei said, "You can't just show up and expect us to come with you like that. Tell us what's going on first."

"Please," Pluto said quietly, "just do as he says. It's a long story we'll explain later. Right now we just need to return home."

"But..." Rei couldn't believe what she was hearing. One minute they were having fun and dancing and the next they were told they had to leave? It was all happening much too fast. Sailor Pluto was known to be the wisest guardian, everybody looked up to her. How could she defy her orders?

Tuxedo Mask hugged Usagi and whispered, "You too, Usako. Let's go."

Usagi didn't acknowledge that he'd spoken to her. He was going to repeat himself when she muttered, "Moon Eternal..." She swallowed and barely finished in a quivering whisper. "Make Up."

A warm pink light washed over her. A moment later, Eternal Sailor Moon - wings and all - stood, or rather slumped, in her place.

"Usagi..." Rei's violet eyes were filled with many emotions, including suspicion and hesitation. Seeing her leader transform made her realize they were seriously leaving.

Minako made a move towards Yaten', but a gloved hand held her back. She found herself looking into glowering sienna eyes.

"Please stay here," Pluto told her.

Minako muttered an incoherent apology and slithered out of her grasp anyways. She rushed over to Yaten.

"Do you know what's going on?" Yaten asked, unable to hide her shaky voice.

Minako bit down on her lip and fiddled with her trembling hands. She was still wearing Rei's red dress. She and Yaten had been in the middle of slow dancing when the Starlight had sensed Mamoru's presence and raced outside.

Minako gulped. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I don't think we're gonna get to watch the fireworks together..."

Yaten winced. She yanked her into a hug. Minako lost it, pent up tears spilling out uncontrollably. Normally she'd of hated to cry in front of Yaten in fear she'd come across as weak. But not now. It was all flowing out and she couldn't stop if she tried.

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm scared for everyone," Minako confessed into silky silver hair.

"Don't be. Whatever is going on, we'll get through it."

"I don't think you understand, Yaten. This is really bad-"

"Mercury Crystal Power..."

"Mars Crystal Power..."

"Jupiter Crystal Power..."

Minako pulled away from Yaten's warm embrace.

"I think that's your cue," Yaten said quietly.

Minako panicked.

Pluto called to her sharply. Her tone reminded Minako of when she was scolded for rescuing her from Nehelania's minions near the bridge. It left no room for arguing.

Minako stepped away from her Starlight and unwillingly joined their chorus. "Venus Crystal Power..."

"Make Up!" They cried out in unison.

Brilliant flashes of blue, red, green, and yellow later, the guardians stood in costume.

"Mina..." Yaten breathed, reaching out for her.

Venus touched her hand. Even through the white fabric, she could feel the Starlight's warmth. "I'll never forget you, Yaten," she whispered. Her baby-blue eyes sparkled with tears.

"Mina, don't say it like that. It sounds like you're never coming back."

"I...don't know if we are..."

"What?" Yaten was stupefied. "No! That's stupid! Can't they talk this out here? We don't even know what's going on!"

Venus swallowed. "It's my duty to be there for my own princess. I'm sorry. It's a long story and someday I'll tell you everything." She took a step forward and kissed the Starlight on the cheek. She purposely avoided her lips. It would only make it harder if the taste of her breath haunted her the whole way home.

Yaten counted the steps she took as she walked away. She wanted to run after her and hold her back. But she didn't know why they had to leave and Seiya's behavior was freaking her out. She was their leader, but she looked like she'd had her heart torn out, trampled on, and sewn back in upside down and inside out.

"Are we ready?" Tuxedo Mask asked when Venus joined the group. Everyone stood in a circle, hands intertwined. When Tuxedo Mask had taken Sailor Moon's hand, she silently shrugged him off and slid between Mars and Mercury instead. She didn't want to be by him right then. There was only one person she wanted to be with and she couldn't.

"Sailor Moon..." Mars murmured.

The blonde remained mute. Her eyes were distant, looking but seeing nothing.

Taiki didn't look away from Mercury. The blue-haired guardian was gazing into her violet eyes with sorrow and regret. In their own silent way, they were saying farewell.

Everyone shouted their phrases reluctantly. Sailor Moon whispered hers. Each sailor guardian's individual color radiated from their bodies, melting together in a rainbow flare. A second later, it exploded towards the starry night sky blinding everyone.

"Have the fireworks started already?"

"Wow, beautiful!"

Guests were trickling outside to watch the light show, unaware of what was really going down.

Seeing the color flash in her wet eyes, Seiya looked up from the ground she knelt on. Bun Head...I'm sorry.

A split second later, the light vanished, leaving the spot near the fountain empty.

They were gone.