~Wavering Destiny~
by Strawberry Moon Rose

Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Chapter 34: A Little Pain

What happened next, Seiya could only remember bits and pieces of.

She was vaguely aware that someone had helped her to her feet and walked her back into the palace. At first she thought it'd been Yaten because the figure was shorter than her, but even in her hazy state she recalled the sweet, olive fragrance and saw tresses of flowing red hair.

With her head hung, all she could see was grass at her feet turning into stone, then glossy floor. The murmurs and noise faded out as they walked down the hallway. Kakyuu supported her until they reached the Starlight's bedroom.

"Fighter, you should lie down and get some rest," Kakyuu told her, easing her onto the bed. "We can discuss this in the morning if you would like."

Seiya pulled the covers to her chin. Having the Princess see her like this was the absolute worst. It was her duty to protect the Princess, not the other way around.

Seiya squeezed her eyes shut, hoping this was all just a nightmare. She opened them a second later, realizing Kakyuu was still there. The Princess had lowered herself onto the edge of the bed. When Seiya looked up, pretty orange eyes met her gaze.

"Fighter, I am very sorry. I do not know what happened, but I know how much you care for her."

"You warned me. I should've listened..."

"Fighter..."

"I'm sorry, Princess."

"Fighter... I should be getting back to the party. I'm sure some of the guests saw some things and I will have to assure them everything is alright. I know you would like to be alone now too. Good night, Fighter. Please sleep in, you have the day off tomorrow."

Kakyuu leaned across the bed and kissed Seiya on the forehead. She paused to take off the Starlight's heels before adjusting the blanket around her body. Her footsteps were audible padding across the carpet. A few seconds later, the light went out and the door shut behind her.

The second she was gone, Seiya broke down. Staining her pillow with smeared mascara, she let it out. Mouth wide open as she gasped, the salty water seeped in and tingled her tongue. She grabbed fistfuls of sheets as she sobbed. Shaking and convulsing, it passed the point of sorrow as they turned to hysteric cries. Stuffing a pillow over her face, she screamed into it until her muffled voice went hoarse and the cottony taste making her gag.

"Bun Head...!"

She'd been so close to having her, only to have everything ripped out of her hands at the last second. She never saw this coming. How was she supposed to know Usagi had a daughter? Why would she come here and lead her on like that? Seiya knew it wasn't on purpose, but she felt betrayed.

But if there was anyone she wanted to blame, it was herself. She felt so stupid and humiliated for grasping onto a hope that wasn't even there. It was all just a big joke. She should have known it was too good to be true.

And what if it was too late to save her child, Chibi-Usa? She couldn't live with herself if that happened.

Everything they'd been through on both Kinmoku and Earth flashed in her mind. Their date at the amusement park, introducing her to her siblings, teaching her how to dance, protecting her from Galaxia's blows, and even hiding in the cupboard with her and Chibi Chibi at her house. The worst part is that those moments were real and she was there. The second she remembered anything tied to Usagi, the pain started all over again.

Her eyes turned puffy and her throat hurt to the point where she could barely breathe. After the trembling stopped and her tear ducts ran dry, she was left with a throbbing headache from dehydration and an upset stomach. After her cries dissipated, she went numb. She laid there like a caged animal, unable to move, paralyzed by the tragic feeling of isolation.

Climbing the flights of stairs in the palace was a workout itself and especially difficult in high heels.

Click. Click. Click. There weren't many workers meandering throughout the halls. Almost all of them were invited to enjoy the party too. An occasional maid would be found dusting the paintings hanging on the walls, but that was it.

Taiki turned the corner and started up the final flight of stairs, much to her relief. She knew her feet would be killing her tomorrow. She held the bottom of her long, violet gown up as she ascended. She hit the top floor and climbed the spiral staircase to the ceiling. Pushing the latch open, she hoisted herself up onto the palace's rooftop. With her foot, she nudged the cover back in place.

Tiny stars were popping out in the east. The fireworks had begun, lighting up the sky. The whistling whine nosedived in anticipation followed by booms. Rainbow colors scorched from the center, spreading out and falling like willow trees toward the horizon. It was a shame she couldn't enjoy it with a certain Mercurian guardian.

"May I join you?" Taiki stepped up beside the short girl and casually leaned against the roof's fenced edge.

Yaten didn't reply. Her head was craned back, watching the fireworks with a blank expression. Taiki knew she heard her, but she didn't repeat herself. She could only imagine how she was feeling.

The two Starlights stood in silence watching the fireworks. The roof was private and only for the three of them. It was the best seat in the town. Taiki knew she'd find her up there, silently watching alone.

"You know, we were supposed to watch them together. She was really looking forward to it too."

Taiki was startled when Yaten spoke. She turned her gaze away from the sky and studied her delicate features.

Greens and blues washed over her face from above. Taiki could see the bursts of the fire flowers spread out in the reflections of her glossy eyes. They were rimmed with tears.

Taiki didn't have to ask who she was referring to. Although she'd just learned a few hours ago during their performance that she and Minako were an item, she could tell Yaten took their relationship seriously, just as she did most things she cared about.

Taiki turned back to the sky. "I never saw it coming, to be honest. If you don't mind me asking, how long at you two been...?"

"It doesn't matter anyways. I knew from the start it wouldn't work out. I guess I was right all along," she muttered bitterly.

Taiki didn't respond. She too didn't understand why they'd left in such a hurry. It didn't sound like a new enemy had appeared, but she couldn't be sure. Sailor Moon looked less a mess when they left.

Taiki changed the subject. "Do you know what happened to Seiya? I saw the Princess carrying her off. I couldn't tell if she was hurt or not. I wonder if she got in a fight with that masked man or something."

"Who knows. Knowing her, probably."

"I'm worried. After this, I'm going to check on her."

Yaten massaged the back of her neck. It was sore from craning up. "I wouldn't do that. She probably wants to be alone. Whatever went down before we got there wasn't pretty."

"Even more reason to ask her about it."

Yaten shrugged and didn't say anything more. Taiki hadn't been the one who'd walked in on the two of them making out and she wasn't aware Seiya and Usagi were together. Yaten was sure Seiya was heartbroken now that they were gone and didn't want to talk to anyone. She understood that feeling perfectly well herself.

The fireworks were building up to the climatic finale. The thunderous explosions were so loud they were palpable in their rib cages. The blistering hues and vibrant tinges blew up, sizzling as they melted away into the heavens. Then it all stopped, leaving everyone breathless.

Cheers and applause broke out below them. All the guests had come outside to watch the show. They could hear whistles and claps from the town as well.

The wind carried the last drifts of smoke away. They vanished into the dark clouds. It didn't last very long, but it was magical.

And now it was over.

The journey back was a quiet one.

Kinmoku was a long way from Earth. It took an entire day before they entered their solar system again. Flying by each planet, they got closer to their own star. Mixed emotions bestowed them all. Fear. Relief. Accomplishment. Sorrow. Heartbreak. Regret.

At the sight of her green and blue planet, Sailor Moon inhaled sharply. They were really home again. She squeezed Mars's and Mercury's hands tighter.

Several minutes later, they were entering the atmosphere. Nobody had mentioned where they'd be landing at, but it was an unsaid agreement that they should appear exactly where they'd left. At the Hikawa Shrine.

Soon enough, their feet were touching solid ground again. It was a strange sensation after traveling weightlessly for the past dozen hours. It was like trying to walk after swimming. Sailor Moon opened her eyes, exhausted from the amount of energy it took. They made it. Finally.

"Everyone!" Luna called. She and Artemis dashed off the stone steps to greet them.

Everybody unlinked hands except for Moon and Mars. As mean as Rei could be to her friend, she was always there for Usagi when it came to things like this.

Venus stepped up beside her princess too. She'd spent the entire trip holding back tears in front of everyone and she knew Sailor Moon had done the same. On the long journey back, Pluto had filled the others in, explaining why they'd shown up. As of now, everybody understood the somber situation except for the cats.

It was a foggy, dreary morning. Thick clouds, too heavy to remain in the sky, sunk down to the earth and drenched everyone in a grim humidity. The sun was hidden somewhere, trying but failing to break through the drab.

"You all look...tired. Perhaps you guys should rest," Artemis suggested when no one spoke.

There were a few nods of agreement. They'd lost an entire night of sleep during the travel home. Everyone exchanged glances before letting their transformations go, reverting to their civilian selves.

"Usako, I can walk you home," Mamoru offered.

Usagi's slender shoulders rose and fell in a heartless shrug. The whites in her eyes had returned, but her happy go lucky personality had not.

"That's...very thoughtful of you Mamoru, but I think Usagi needs some time to be alone right now," Rei told him.

He hesitated, but Setsuna touched his shoulder and shook her head. Mamoru gazed at her for a minute before giving in. He didn't know what to say to anyone. He knew Usagi would be thinking about Seiya and needed some time to grieve. He could respect that.

Giving them a nod, he walked away and started down the temple stairs. Everyone watched him go.

Luna said, "Usagi...?"

Before she could respond a man with shaggy brown hair hanging into his eyes hurried out of the temple. He wore his typical white robe tucked into loose fitting blue bottoms.

"Rei, you're back!"

"Yuichiro?" said Rei.

"Your grandpa told me you guys all went on vacation! How was it? I missed you so much, Rei!" He hurried over the the priestess and suffocated her in a big bear hug.

"Yu-Yuichiro! I can't...breathe!" Rei's voice muffled into his chest.

"Huh? Oh sorry!" He pulled away and scratched his head, blushing.

"It's okay," she said, brushing off her shoulders. "Something...came up and we had to come back early."

Yuichiro instantly caught onto her the sour twinge in her voice. "Oh, I see..." His eyes drifted down to Rei's hand which was interlaced with Usagi's. He may have been ignorant enough to believe Haruka was Rei's lover, but he knew better than to think Usagi was. He also knew something bad had happened for Rei to be nice to her when all they usually did was bicker.

"Hey there, Usagi!" Yuichiro smiled and waved, trying to cheer her up. "Do you want some tea? It's still hot, I can go get you a cup."

Usagi shook her head, eyes on the cement.

Makoto stepped forward. "Usagi's not feeling very well," she explained.

"Yes, we're all pretty exhausted," Ami agreed. "We should get some rest and talk later, don't you think?"

Minako bent to see Usagi's face. "You can stay at my house if you'd like, Usagi. I know your mother probably doesn't expect us to be returning yet."

Usagi shrugged. "Maybe..." she agreed unenthusiastically.

Yuichiro realized if her friends couldn't bring a smile to her face, he couldn't either.

"Well I hope you get better soon, Usagi. I'd better be getting back to my duties..." He stepped back and gave Rei a worried look. She shooed in him away like a pesky bug.

The five girls stood there for a minute. Setsuna lingered.

"So um, I'm gonna go home then... Call me later?" Makoto took an uneasy step back. It was weird pretending like the whole Kinmoku trip hadn't happened, but it was clear nobody wanted to talk about it right now. It'd do nobody any good until they were well rested and thinking clearly.

"Same here," Ami said.

"Yeah, we'll do that," Rei told them. She and Minako gave them a wave as they disappeared down the steps.

Usagi spoke, startling the two of them. "Minako... I think I'll stay with you for a while," she mumbled.

"Really? Okay, great." Minako knew eventually Usagi would get around to talking and she wanted to be there when that happened. She'd confided with her about her mixed feelings towards Seiya before, and she had no doubt she wouldn't open up to her again.

Usagi looked out of the corner of her eye and met Setsuna's gaze.

"Actually, I think I can go for some tea right about now. How 'bout you, Minako?" Rei asked.

"No thanks, I'm-"

Rei grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

"Hey!" Minako objected as Rei dragged her towards the temple. "What gives? We can't just leave Usagi alone!"

Rei lowered her voice. "I think Setsuna wants to talk to her right now. Why else would she be hanging around?"

"She's still here?" Minako glanced back over her shoulder. The dark-green haired girl stood collected and tall near the trees.

"Let's let them be for now. Come on."

Usagi numbly walked over to her. The bounce in her step was missing.

"It had to be done." The tanned woman's soft-spoken voice carried like the wind. She stood in the shade with her hands clasped politely in front of her body. "I know it's difficult and unfair, but please try to understand. For Small Lady's sake."

Usagi squinted up into the dreary gray sky. She stared into the fog for a while. It looked like it was going to rain at any given moment.

"I know," Usagi said finally. "The only person I have to blame is myself."

Setsuna tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I should have been thinking about Chibi-Usa, but I wasn't. It's so simple that if Seiya and I were together she wouldn't exist. But it honestly never crossed my mind. How stupid of me..."

"It's easy to forget when she's not around, isn't it? Please do not blame yourself."

Usagi fidgeted with her nails. "I...never went to Kinmoku with this intention, just so you know. Seiya and I just sort of happened. It's been happening for a long time now. I just didn't realize it until recently."

"I know."

Usagi swallowed hard. "And now I've hurt her in this mess too. I wonder how she's doing. What does she think of me now? We promised not to keep secrets from each other... I didn't mean to this time. I bet she's so mad at me."

"I wish it didn't have to be this way, I really do. If it wasn't for Small Lady's life, I would not have interfered. Please forgive me."

"It's not your fault. It's my stupid destiny. I was wrong to think I could stray from it, even for a minute. In the end, what's meant to be will happen anyways."

Setsuna looked away. She opened her mouth to say something, but held back.

"Setsuna?"

"Yes?" It was starting to sprinkle. The fresh scent of rain left dark stains on the chalky pavement.

Usagi continued to look at the sky, letting the raindrops fall on her face. "Thank you."

"For...what?"

"Telling me. I think it would have been worse for both Seiya and me if we found out too late." Raindrops slid down Usagi's face, a single tear joining them seamlessly. "It doesn't mean I'm happy about it though."

Somewhere in the distance, thunder growled. Usagi didn't flinch. She stood there crying, unwilling to move. Her bangs slicked into her eyes, her party dress soaked.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Usagi welcomed her touch.

"I really am sorry," Setsuna said gently.

Usagi squeezed her eyes shut and continued to look up at the darkening sky. When the storm passed, she hoped there would be a rainbow. A big one.

"Me too."