~Wavering Destiny~
by Strawberry Moon Rose

Such strong responses to the story! I like reading your guys' opinions :D

Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Chapter 35: Skating on Melting Ice

"Mamoru! Why the long face?" Motoki greeted his friend as he walked through the sliding glass doors of the CROWN arcade.

Mamoru trudged over to the counter. He leaned against it and let out a deep sigh.

Motoki shrugged off his white and red apron, revealing a collared shirt underneath. He hung it on the hook behind him.

"You're acting like you're the one who just went through a bad breakup," said Motoki.

"What do you mean by that? Don't tell me...did something happen between you and Reika?"

Motoki's hung his head. "Yes."

"But I thought you two were like soul mates?"

Motoki shrugged dejectedly.

"She's back from Africa now, isn't she? What happened?" Mamoru propped one elbow up on the counter.

"Yeah, she is. I guess we grew apart, you know? It was sort of a mutual agreement. We just didn't feel it anymore. It's just still really hard for both of us. We really loved each other, but we both know it's time to move on."

Mamoru patted his friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Mamoru. I know life will go on, but it doesn't make it any easier."

"I understand you completely." Mamoru watched some middle school aged girls enter the arcade and giggle when they saw Motoki. One of them was brave enough to wave at the handsome arcade employee.

Motoki smiled and waved back. He turned to his friend. "So what about you, Mamoru? What's your story? Don't try to hide it from me, I could tell something was wrong when you walked in."

Mamoru sighed and ran his fingers through his black hair. Should he tell him? He knew he couldn't explain the whole story - especially not about Chibi-Usa and the future. But Motoki was his best friend and it felt wrong to keep secrets from him. He could tell him the gist of it though.

"Usako cheated on me."

"What? Usagi did?"

"Yeah. On that trip they all went on to Kin - er, Hokkaido. It turns out she's had feelings for her- him since I left for America last year."

Motoki looked away, hand to his chin. "I can't believe this. To think cute Usagi would do such a thing. That's horrible! Who's the guy? Do I know him?"

"Seiya Kou," Mamoru grumbled bitterly.

Motoki gasped. "The lead singer from the Three Lights?"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow! That's crazy. I'm so sorry, Mamoru. So did you...break it off with her?"

"No. She realized the mistake she made and has been sorting things out. Usako and her friends have been back for a whole week now, but she hasn't spoken to me since and it's starting to worry me. She's staying at Minako's house and doesn't answer the door for me. She won't answer my phone calls either."

"Do you think everything will be okay between you two? Does Usagi still have feelings for him?" Motoki asked hesitantly. He grabbed a cloth and spray bottle and began wiping off the counter between them.

"I think she was just feeling down and went out and had her fun. I'm not too concerned about it, she'll come around. She always does."

"I don't know Mamoru, that's sounds like pretty wishful thinking. If I were in that situation, I'd let her be for now. I don't think Usagi is the type of girl to just 'have some fun'. She might have been serious about this Seiya guy."

"What makes you think that?" He hated not knowing what had happened between them when he had been gone. Did the whole city know the infamous Seiya Kou was after his girlfriend?

Motoki shrugged. "Give her some time to make up her mind. Usagi is a good girl and has always been faithful to you. Not that I have any right to say this, but as your best friend Mamoru, perhaps you let her slip away."

Mamoru gaped at him. "What?"

"Usagi was crazy about you. Even I saw how eager she was trying to get your attention from her pink-haired cousin. I know the reason she hung around here was because you were here too. Don't get mad at me for saying this, but maybe you took her for granted? She got tired of being ignored and turned to someone who paid attention to her. At least, that's what usually happens."

Mamoru was flabbergasted. He couldn't believe his friend wasn't sticking up for him! Out of everyone, he hoped to have someone other than Setsuna on his side.

"Easy now Mamoru," Motoki said, seeing the scary look on his face. He raised his hands innocently. "That's just how it looked to me. I don't know the whole story."

Motoki's words cut to the bone. He turned and stared out the arcade window trying not to get too angry over the idea that Seiya treated his girlfriend better than he did.

What hurt the most was that it was probably true.

Crash!

The bowl of soup hit the linoleum floor and broke. Shards scattered and yellow liquid splattered at her feet.

Usagi winced, realizing she'd just dropped her dinner on the kitchen floor. "I-I'm so sorry, Minako!" she said.

Minako hid the worry from her face and smiled. "Don't worry about it. It was an accident. Don't move Usagi, I'll get the mop." She hurried down the hall.

Usagi raised her trembling hands to her face. Things like this had been happening ever since they'd returned home. She was always klutzy, but this was different. She walked around like a zombie, doing everything on autopilot. She ate her food, but didn't taste it. She watched television, but saw nothing. She could barely sleep at night, vivid memories haunted her awake. She woke up terrified and screaming in a cold sweat so many times, Minako was used to it by now.

Usagi had been staying at her house for the past week. She never left her side, scared to be alone. Sometimes they'd go to the Hikawa Shrine, but Usagi would just sit on the steps and keep to herself. Nobody knew what to tell her, not even Luna.

"Here we are." Minako appeared with a mop and immediately started collecting the broken china and soaking up the udon soup. Usagi stepped back and sat on one of the chairs so she didn't break anything else.

"I'm sorry, Minako."

"Huh?"

Usagi's fists balled in her lap. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

"It's okay, Usagi. We didn't use the dish very much anyways. It wasn't that expensive, so don't worry about it."

"No... I mean about everything. I know you guys are doing your best to try and cheer me up. I know you're all hoping I'll be back to myself again, but I'm not. I wish I could pretend like nothing happened, but I can't. I can't forget about her that easily, Minako. I love Seiya."

Minako swallowed. So far, Usagi hadn't said a word about the situation. Everyone knew she was trying to be strong by not speaking about it, but Minako could tell keeping it inside had been getting to her. Whenever Ami or the others tried to bring it up, Usagi would get a distant look in her eyes and acted like she wasn't paying attention.

Minako propped the mop against the wall and stepped around the mess. She knelt on her knees beside her friend and took one of Usagi's hands. "Nobody expects you to get over her so quickly. Take your time," she whispered softly.

Usagi sniffled. "But if I don't get it together soon, Chibi-Usa-"

"Shh... It's going to be okay. I'm here, okay? If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. Maybe it'll be best if you get it off your chest, do you think?"

Usagi gave a meek shrug. "I-I don't know," she replied honestly. She knew talking about Seiya would make her break down, but maybe letting it out would feel better. She wasn't sure if she wanted to relive the memories she'd been trying to force out of her head for the last week. It might be too painful. If she started crying, she didn't know if she'd be able to stop.

"You think about it, okay? I'm going to get you another bowl of soup." Minako let go of her hand and walked back into the kitchen. She was pulling out another dish from the cupboard when she looked up and saw Usagi standing in the doorway.

"Actually Minako, that's okay. I'm not feeling very hungry anyways. I think I'm just gonna go to bed." With that, Usagi turned and walked down the hallway to Minako's room.

Minako looked at the clock and frowned. It was only seven o'clock. She set the bowl down and followed her friend into her bedroom. She stepped inside and found the golden-blonde curled up in her bed under the covers. She had offered her bed to Usagi while she stayed. Minako had been sleeping in a cot on the floor.

"Usagi?" Minako shut the door. She knew Usagi couldn't have changed into her pajamas that quickly. It worried her knowing she'd just thrown herself in there with no intention of falling asleep. Although she figured she wanted to be alone, Minako walked over to the bed anyways.

"Yeah?" Came a stifled reply.

Minako peeled a corner of the blanket back and slid into the bed, joining her under the comforter. Usagi rolled over and faced her under their own personal tent of blankets.

Usagi didn't say anything. Her eyes wavered with tears.

Minako found her hand and held it. She looked her in the eyes.

"It's okay to let it out, Usagi," she whispered. As soon as she said it, her own eyes stung. Usagi may have been able to repress her feelings, but Minako couldn't. She had spent the entire day they got home bawling. Even lately she was having trouble keeping it together. But Minako had yet to see Usagi shed a single one. Just then, it slid down her face and onto her lips.

A second and third water drop quickly followed. It wasn't soon before she was sobbing into her hands.

"Why does it have to be this way?" Usagi cried. "It's not fair! Why can't I have both Chibi-Usa and Seiya?"

"Usagi..." Minako reached out and hugged her. As painful as it was to see her cry, it was better than seeing her emotionless like a robot. At least this was proof she hadn't completely shut down.

"I miss you, Seiya... I miss you so much. I wish you were here with me! I n-need you!" Usagi wept. She wrapped her arms around Minako's body and hid her face in her shirt.

Minako bit her lip. "I miss them too," she whispered into Usagi's hair. She massaged her shoulder reassuringly. "It shouldn't have ended that way... It just isn't right."

Minako could still picture her own Starlight's beautiful face; soft lips, tiny nose, and emerald eyes. Yaten's smokey voice echoed through her memory, saying her name in that special way, 'Mina...'. It hurt thinking about her. Being back home didn't feel right. It was like she'd left a part of herself on Kinmoku. Now she was incomplete. They both were.

Minako reached up for a pillow to rest her head on when her hand met something hard and plastic. She picked up the flat device. It was her old CD player with a pair of dangling headphones attached. Why was it hidden under Usagi's pillow?

Usagi blushed sheepishly and wiped her eyes. "I wanted to hear her voice again," she admitted through choked sobs.

Minako switched the device on. "Do you mind if I...?"

Usagi shook her head. Minako held out the foamy headphones, letting Usagi press one of them to her ear while Minako held the other against the side of her head.

The first track begun to play, an overload of nostalgia. 'Nagareboshi e' flooded their ears.

"Search for your love..."

Minako squeezed her eyes shut tight. She could pick out Yaten's voice in a heartbeat. She knew Usagi had her mind focused on the lead singer. Was it only a week ago they were standing right before them watching them perform live? It felt like months had gone by since that bittersweet evening.

Usagi snuggled closer to her friend and let the music calm her down. Eventually she stopped crying. She felt a lot better after letting it all out.

Since the actual Starlights were trillions of miles away, this was the closest thing they had. They fell asleep together listening to the song on repeat, hanging onto the dim hope that someday they could hear their voices in person again.

Until then, this would have to do.

"Goodnight, Hotaru."

"'Night, Michiru-mama."

Michiru pulled the door shut, closing off the hallway light that poured into the bedroom. She turned around and walked down the hall. She didn't make it very far before a pair a strong arms wrapped around her waist.

"Haruka..." Michiru smiled a little.

The dirty-blonde rested her chin on Michiru's shoulder. Haruka snuggled against her, breathing in the Neptunian guardian's misty perfume and softly pressing her lips against the side of her neck.

"Is she asleep?" Haruka murmured.

"No, but she will be soon..."

"Good. Then we can..." Haruka's hands drifted down from her waist making her lover giggle at her suggestive touch.

"You think? But Setsuna will be getting home soon from classes..."

Haruka narrowed her eyes. "We'll have to quiet," she purred.

"Me? You're the loud one..." Michiru turned around and cupped her face with her violinist hands.

Haruka smirked and pressed Michiru against the wall. She eased in, tilting her head to the side. The last thing she saw was azure eyes drift shut before their lips grazed against each other's. Before they had the chance to indulge in a full kiss, they heard the jingling of keys and the front door open. A few seconds later, they could hear the soft sliding of feet into slippers and footsteps padding across the carpet.

Haruka gave Michiru an exasperated look before pulling away. Michiru smiled a little, amused. She knew when Haruka started, it was hard for her to stop. It was like teasing a dog with a bone.

"That would be Setsuna..." Michiru whispered.

Haruka sighed and pulled away just as the tall, tanned woman appeared in the hallway.

Setsuna looked stressed. The long skirt she'd designed herself was looking more wrinkly than usual and her rusty eyes were tired.

"Is something wrong?" Michiru asked, picking up on her unusual discomposure.

"I guess you could put it that way..."

"Did something happen at school? Or is this about...?" Haruka didn't have to finish her sentence. They always had the situation in mind. It was their duty.

Setsuna clasped her hands in front of her body and looked them in the eyes. Were they imagining things or did she look a little scared?

Haruka panicked. "She didn't go back, did she? To their planet?!"

Setsuna shook her head.

"Are they...here?" Michiru inquired, referring to the Starlights.

Setsuna looked over their shoulders at Hotaru's bedroom door. "Let's go in the living room. We don't want to keep Hotaru awake talking outside her door."

Haruka and Michiru exchanged confused glances with each other before following their crony down the hall. They lowered themselves side by side on the sofa. Setsuna sat across from them in the chair.

Setsuna folded her hands in the lap of her skirt. She reached up and brushed back a strand of hair that was already in place.

"What's wrong?" Haruka asked in her husky voice. She hated that Setsuna was always so mysterious. Haruka liked things to be clear and concise; straight to the point.

Setsuna looked at both of them while she carefully chose her words. "We assumed bringing her back would solve the problem at hand, but it turns out it's not that simple after all."

"What do you mean?" Michiru asked.

"By any chance have you two seen how she is doing lately?"

Haruka and Michiru looked at each other. They shook their heads.

Setsuna turned her gaze to the floor. "Mamoru told me that she hasn't spoken to him since they returned. She's staying at a friend's house. He thinks she's trying to avoid him."

"It's expected that she's feeling down..." Michiru said. "But I thought she'd have spoken with him by now. That's odd. Do you think she's angry or just heartbroken?"

Haruka leaned back and folded her arms across her chest. "I say give her some time. Maybe I can go talk to her and cheer her up."

Setsuna's pained expression didn't go away. "It just...worries me," she said quietly. "When she went to Kinmoku, she altered the future. We thought bringing her back would revert things to normal, but she still has feelings for her and wants nothing to do with him. If this continues..."

Suddenly, Haruka sat forward, wide-eyed. "Are you saying that...?"

Setsuna nodded grimly. "Yes. We can't change human will. If she and Mamoru can't work this out, it may already be too late to save Small Lady."