~Wavering Destiny~
by Strawberry Moon Rose

I was watching Pretty Little Liars and thought this was interesting and pertained to Usagi and Mamoru.

"Don't confuse fate with really bad luck." -Spencer Hastings

Enjoy :P

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. They belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Chapter 47: Racing Thoughts

Moonlight spilled through the glass windows, dancing shadows on the walls and floors of the palace's corridors. In the distance an owl hooted.

"Knock. Knock." Usagi rapped her fist against the ajar door to Chibi-Usa and Hotaru's room. Everyone was in bed, and the only people she'd passed in the halls were a maid carrying a stack of towels, and Minako, who stumbled out of her and Rei's room, wearing an unreadable expression.

"Usagi?" Chibi-Usa said groggily. She pushed the blankets off herself and sat up in bed. Her hair was undone, cascading in unruly pink waves down her back.

"Sorry, I didn't think you were sleeping. Can I come in?"

Chibi-Usa rubbed her eyes and nodded. Usagi stepped into the room. The floorboards were cold and creaked under her slippers. Chibi-Usa raised a finger to her lips and motioned to Hotaru, who was fast asleep on the other side of the room.

Usagi tiptoed as quietly as she could to her daughter's bed. She lowered herself on the edge beside her.

"What's going on?" said Chibi-Usa, "is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine. I just came by to see how you were. It's been a crazy night."

Chibi-Usa shrugged. "Yeah. I guess so."

"I can't believe you can sleep after everything that's happened. I just can't believe it all. I mean, you're here now. And so are the others. Heck, Haruka is sleeping just a couple doors down! On Kinmoku! It's too weird, like a dream. My brain is still struggling to catch up to all the surprises."

"You mean Chibi Chibi?" Chibi-Usa said quietly.

"That too. I still can't come to accept that she's my daughter. Your sister." Usagi let out a pent-up breath. "I'm worried how Seiya and I are going to handle her, but I think we'll manage... But more importantly, how are you taking the news, Chibi-Usa?"

Chibi-Usa fiddled with the sleeve of her pajamas. One of the maids had stopped by and given them to her a little while ago. They were soft and comfortable, but smelled overpoweringly like olives, as the rest of the planet did. It made her homesick...for whatever home was. She didn't know anymore.

"It's...different," Chibi-Usa answered. "It was lonely in Crystal Tokyo, and I always wanted a sister. Chibi Chibi is cute and l like her already. I'm gonna miss Crystal Tokyo like crazy, but I like it here with you guys. I always have. And I've got Puu and Diana too."

"Speaking of Diana, where is she?" Usagi looked all around, but didn't spot the kitten. She almost never left Chibi-Usa's side, so she found it odd she wasn't curled up in her lap at that very moment.

Chibi-Usa tapped her chin. "She's with the really pretty Starlight...I don't know her name. The short one that Minako's all over."

"Oh, Yaten?"

"Yeah." Chibi-Usa wrapped a tendril of hair around her finger. "She must be a nice person if she likes cats that much. If Diana likes her, than I do too."

Usagi bit her tongue to keep from laughing. If only Chibi-Usa knew her before.

"Yeah, Yaten's...something, alright. All of the Starlights are good people though; Yaten, Taiki, Seiya..." Usagi held her breath. "Are you...are you okay with...Seiya?" she asked tentatively.

Chibi-Usa cast her eyes downward. So there it was. She should have known Usagi would corner her at one time and ask her something along those lines. She just hadn't thought it would be so soon. She still needed time to think things over.

"She seems nice. And she called me Usagi," she mumbled, vaguely.

Usagi pinched her lips together. She touched one of Chibi-Usa's hands to find they were trembling. "I understand that you'd rather I was with Mamo. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Chibi-Usa whispered, her voice fluctuating.

"I...I don't even know how to explain. In your eyes, it must've seemed like we were perfect for each other. This all came as a big shock to you, didn't it?"

Chibi-Usa's shoulders rose and fell. "I am surprised, but at the same time, I'm not. I always sensed you and Mamo were growing apart, but I didn't believe it. No, I didn't want to believe it," she corrected herself.

"I don't think any of us wanted to see the cracks in our relationship." Usagi chewed on her thumb. "But ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away."

"Yeah, but you were naive," she said bluntly.

"What do you mean?"

"When Mamo was gone, you let someone else take his place. And I get it; love is a powerful thing, and Seiya's handsome and kind and funny - definitely your type." As Usagi started to interrupt her, Chibi-Usa raised a hand. "Let me finish. Please," she begged. Usagi clamped her jaw shut and nodded for her to go on.

"You and Mamo have always been together. I knew it wasn't perfect, but I never thought you'd walk away from it. Plust Seiya's a woman. She's from a whole 'nother planet. And that's what I don't get. If there were so many struggles to be with Seiya, why'd you try so hard to make it work? Why didn't you choose someone else to be with? Like that nerdy friend of yours with swirly glasses or that cute blonde guy who works at the arcade? Anything would've been easier than this."

Usagi swallowed hard. "I forget you're still just a kid, Chibi-Usa, but surely you remember what being with Helios was like, don't you? Wouldn't you do anything you could to be with the one you love?"

Chibi-Usa set her mouth in a line. "Yeah, but..."

"That's why I never gave up on Seiya; because what we have is special. And I would do almost anything to be with her - except lose you, Chibi-Usa."

Chibi-Usa squeezed her eyes shut. "I know, but... I-I don't know what to feel right now. I'm mad at you and Mamo for letting yourselves drift apart. But I'm mad at myself for being angry, because I want you guys to be happy, and if that's not with each other, then I guess I should accept that, right? But it's just so hard. You're my parents. My entire life I saw you two together... Now my whole world feels smashed open, and I don't know what to do."

"It's okay," she said, touching her shoulder. "Some things don't always go as planned, but it's not always a bad thing."

Chibi-Usa nodded slowly, but didn't say anything. Usagi sighed. "Has Mamo talked to you yet?"

"No, not really. Puu said we'd talk tomorrow, though. I'm sure she meant with him too. Those two are always together now," she said.

"We all deserve to be happy, don't you think?"

Chibi-Usa picked at her fingernails. She scraped off a fleck of Crystal Tokyo nail polish and watched it flutter to the floor.

"Speaking of being happy, I was watching you around Seiya earlier."

"Oh?"

"Anyways, it was super weird the way you were acting," Chibi-Usa went on. "It was like you were just being your normal, goofy self, and weren't trying to impress her or anything. I've never really seen you that way before."

"That's because it's Seiya. I don't need to impress her. I know that she loves me as I am."

"Huh." Chibi-Usa hesitated. "So you really love her, don't you?"

"Yes," Usagi said without skipping a beat. "I do."

"I see..." Chibi-Usa was quiet for a while. She fingered a loose thread on the blanket in her lap. Taking a deep breath of air, she exhaled slowly.

"Then I should probably say that I'm happy for you, or something like that, I guess. Watching you and Mamo crumble was hard enough here in the present, and even more miserable in the future. I guess I'd rather see both of you happy, even if it's not with each other. At least that's what I keep telling myself." She glanced up, her chin wobbling and her eyes looking moist.

Usagi's heart split in half. There was a pause that Usagi desperately wanted to fill, but her mind was blanking on a response.

On the other side of the room, Hotaru rolled over in bed. The blankets shifted and crinkled around her dainty frame. She mumbled something incoherent into her pillow, and to her relief, made Chibi-Usa crack a smile. Usagi met her gaze and grinned too, and in seconds, they were both suppressing giggles.

The tension diffused from the moment. Chibi-Usa flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"You know what? In a way, I'm sort of glad you found someone else."

"Why's that?" she asked cautiously.

A sly expression crossed Chibi-Usa's face. "Because it means I get Mamo all to myself," she sang.

The corners of Usagi's lips twitched, then edged up in a wide grin.

"Chibi-Usa!" She snorted and gave her shoulder a playful push. Chibi-Usa laughed and whacked her with a nearby pillow. "You know, I was going to say that you've matured a lot recently, but I take it back!"

"I'm not a kid anymore, you know," Chibi-Usa said, rolling her ruby eyes. "I've grown up since you girls saw me last. And I'm a lot stronger than I look." She slapped the pillow against the blonde's side with more force.

"I know. And I'm proud of you, Chibi-Usa." Usagi rolled up her sleeves. She was wearing a pair of Seiya's flannel pajamas and they were a little big. "And just because Mamo and I aren't together anymore doesn't change that fact."

Chibi-Usa stopped in mid-swing. She lowered the pillow to her lap. "Really?" she said, her tone turning serious again.

"Yes. I love you, Chibi-Usa, and I know Mamo and Setsuna do too. Chibi Chibi and Seiya love you as well."

Chibi-Usa pulled on her collar nervously. She studied the pattern on the bedspread, feeling heat well behind her eyes. She could hear Hotaru's faint breathing on the other side of the room. The clock on the nightstand ticked.

"Mamo will always be my daddy. I know... I know you might want me to see Seiya that way now, but I don't think I can," Chibi-Usa blurted. She turned away. "Sorry."

Usagi looked shocked. "I... I would never ask that of you, Chibi-Usa," she said quietly.

Chibi-Usa nibbled on the inside of her cheek. "I know, but I just had to say it."

Usagi's mouth felt dry. She didn't know what to say, so she leaned over and pulled her daughter into an embrace. Chibi-Usa fell into it, wrapping her arms around her mother's shoulders tightly.

"You can think of Seiya as whatever you'd like," Usagi told her. "You can see her as my lover, or as your aunt, or just as a friend. You don't have to see her that way if you don't want to. I think she'd understand, too."

"Usagi..." Chibi-Usa inhaled a large gulp of air, sucking in Usagi's strawberry scent. Because she was wearing Seiya's pajamas, a hint of the Starlight's rosy fragrance tickled her nose. "It's not that I don't like Seiya - I do. It's just... I wanna be a part of your family, but I don't know if I'll fit in. Now that you've got Chibi Chibi, I thought you might not want me anymore," she admitted.

"Chibi-Usa, that's nonsense! You'll always be my daughter. Nothing has changed, don't you see? Now I can give my love to two children. And trust me, there's plenty of love to go around."

Chibi-Usa pulled back, sniffling. Feeling silly, she smiled and wiped her eyes. "I guess I just got a little jealous when I saw you and Seiya and Chibi Chibi all together, having fun. And knowing you spent time with them last year while I was gone made me feel even more left out."

She gave Chibi-Usa's shoulder a squeeze. "I had to put up with you for years, Chibi-Usa. If anyone should be jealous of spending time with me, it should be Chibi Chibi."

Chibi-Usa smiled weakly. "I guess you're right."

Usagi touched Chibi-Usa's hair, brushing a pink curl out of her eyes and tucking it behind her ear.

"Can you promise me one thing, though?" she asked.

"Sure, what?"

"Seiya's a really important person to me, and believe it or not, she's been eager to get to know you. Don't shut her out, okay? Can you promise to at least give her a chance?" Usagi raised her eyebrows hopefully. Behind her back, she crossed her fingers for good luck.

She nodded slowly, a bashful smile flitting over her lips. "I can do that."

Usagi's heart swelled. She let out a breath of relief and laced her fingers through Chibi-Usa's. "Thank you," she managed in a wobbly voice. "I know you'll like her, too."

Chibi-Usa swallowed hard. "You're welcome."

There sat there for a few comfortable beats, no need for words. A feeling of serenity swept through Usagi. This was a good start. There would be rough patches, inevitably, but she was confident they could surpass them. Touching Chibi-Usa's hand and knowing she was safe and sound made her feel invincible. They'd come this far, they could get through anything else, she was sure of it.

"Chibi Chibi!"

Usagi and Chibi-Usa's heads snapped up to see Chibi Chibi bursting into the room as if she were trying to escape someone. Seiya appeared at the doorway, looking slightly out of breath.

"Sorry, she got away from me." Her gaze flitted to Chibi-Usa's glistening eyes and their intertwined hands. "Oh. We're interrupting something, aren't we?" Her face was apologetic.

"It's okay, we were just finishing up," Usagi said with a shy smile.

Seiya hurried forward and scooped up her daughter. Chibi Chibi squirmed and let out a high-pitched giggle. "I just about had her to sleep, but I think she wants to say goodnight to Chibi Bun Head first," she said. Her eyes moved to Chibi-Usa and sparkled knowingly.

"Chibi Chibi, you didn't have to come all the way down here for that," Chibi-Usa said. Seiya sat down beside Usagi on the bed. Chibi Chibi tumbled out of her arms and crawled across the bedspread to her big sister's lap.

"Chi...Chibi." Chibi Chibi opened her hand and touched Chibi-Usa's face. Her little fingers were soft, and a little sticky, but Chibi-Usa didn't mind. A smile whispered across her lips. Chibi Chibi was so close, she could smell her fragrance; a blend of fruit, flowers, and olives. A peaceful feeling washed through her.

"Goodnight, Chibi Chibi," Chibi-Usa murmured. Something about Chibi Chibi's presence was mesmerizing.

"'Night-night..." Chibi Chibi's mouth stretched into an "O" as a yawn slipped out.

"I think it's past someone's bedtime," Seiya mused.

"It sure is." Usagi stretched her arms dramatically. "I've been so exhausted ever since Yaten barged in and woke me up this morning, I could fall asleep any minute!"

Sweatdrops rolled down both Chibi-Usa and Seiya's heads.

"Bun Head, I was talking about Chibi Chibi," Seiya said, trying to keep a straight face. Chibi-Usa snickered into her palm.

"Oh." Usagi blinked, stupidly. "Well, I knew that."

Seiya leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Sure you did," she whispered.

Usagi's face burned. She hadn't had a chance to tell Seiya that maybe they should tone down any affection in front of Chibi-Usa for a while, and let her get used to the idea of them together slowly. But when she stole a glance in Chibi-Usa's direction, she was shocked to see that her expression was far from upset - in fact, she looked amused.

"W-what?" Usagi stammered, suddenly feeling all sorts of self-conscious.

"Nothing, nothing." Chibi-Usa grinned like a Cheshire cat. She remembered how she used to spy on Usagi and Mamoru kissing when she was younger. It felt so immature now at her age, but she couldn't help but feel a little triumphant watching Seiya kiss her up close without any hesitation - affection she'd never witnessed before between her parents.

"Okay, can you please stop staring at us like that?" Usagi turned redder.

"Like that?" Chibi Chibi parroted.

Realizing what they were arguing about, Seiya flushed and ducked her head. "So, um, I think I'm going to take Chibi Chibi back to bed now..."

"Good idea," Usagi said quickly. "I'll be there soon."

"Chi... Chibi! No...!" Chibi Chibi protested. She squirmed away before Seiya could snatch her up, crawled back across the bed towards Chibi-Usa, and snuggled up beside her.

"Come on, Chibi Chibi," Seiya chided. "It's bedtime. We can play more tomorrow, 'kay?"

Chibi Chibi giggled and shook her head vehemently.

"If it's okay, she can sleep in here with me and Hotaru," said Chibi-Usa. She'd already peeled back the quilts and draped them over Chibi Chibi's shoulders.

"That's a great idea!" Usagi beamed. She wasn't looking forward to leaving Chibi-Usa all by herself, and this would be a perfect opportunity for her two daughters to bond. It also meant she and Seiya could have some time alone.

"See you in the morning, then." Usagi stood and leaned over the bed. She caressed Chibi Chibi's face and gave Chibi-Usa one last hug.

"'Night, Usagi," Chibi-Usa whispered into her hair.

"Goodnight, Chibi-Usa. Oh! And by the way..." Usagi lowered her voice. "...the chefs here at the palace make amazing pancakes. You'll have to try them at breakfast tomorrow."

Chibi-Usa's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yep."

Her eyes glittered. "Awesome."

Usagi pulled back and Seiya stepped forward and reached across the bed.

"Night, Chibi Chibi," she said, pulling the covers to the toddler's chin. Chibi Chibi was fighting to keep her eyes open. She rolled over and curled up to Chibi-Usa, who draped an arm around her small body.

"Sweet dreams, Chibi Bun Head." Seiya ruffled Chibi-Usa's pink hair, right where a cone-shaped Bun Head would be if she'd had her hair done up.

Chibi-Usa pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. "Goodnight, Seiya," she said.

Usagi crossed the room. Her hand lingered on the light switch. She gazed at Chibi-Usa and Chibi Chibi together, her insides turning to mush.

"They're cute, aren't they?" Seiya said in a low voice, suddenly at her side.

"Yes, they are." Usagi smiled and flicked the light switch. A stream of moonlight poured in through the window on the far side of the guest room, giving everything a beautiful glow. She watched the steady rise and fall of their chests as both girls drifted into dreamland.

"Come on, Bun Head. They'll be fine." Seiya wrapped an arm around Usagi's hip.

"Yeah, you're right," Usagi said, pulling the door in place with a click. She stepped back and let out a breath of air, feeling good for the first time in a long time.

Seiya nudged her. "Hey."

"Hey what?"

She squinted down the hall, as if trying to decide something.

"I'll race you to the bedroom," Seiya whispered, a familiar gleam in her blue eyes.

"What!" Usagi looked at her like she was crazy. "You're kidding, right?" She could tell by the look on Seiya's face that she wasn't. Anything fast and competitive, the Starlight was always up for. "No way," she said firmly, folding her arms across her chest. "I hate running. And besides, we both know you'll win. It's hardly fair, Seiya."

"C'mon, Bun Head, I'll even give you a head start. First one there wins."

"Wins? Wins what?" Usagi asked curiously.

A playful smile spread across Seiya's face. Her hands fluttered around Usagi's waist and tickled down her stomach. "Whatever you like," she purred in a hot, raspy whisper.

"Tempting." Usagi rolled her eyes.

"Isn't it?" Seiya chuckled and kissed her neck. She moved lower, pressing her lips to the groove of Usagi's shoulder. She slid the baggy pajama top off to the side, down her arm, giving her more access. Slowly, teasingly, she trailed the kisses down the tender skin of her collarbone.

"Fine, fine! I'll do it!" Usagi stepped away quickly, before Seiya started undressing her right there in the hall. And before she allowed her to.

"Really?"

"Yes. But I get at least a ten second head start since I can't run in these things." Usagi rolled up the sleeves of her pajamas.

"Deal." They turned and faced the long tunnel of darkness. Seiya's bedroom was at the very end on the right. "Okay, Bun Head, on the count of three you can go. One..."

Usagi took off like a rocket, leaving Seiya standing in a cloud of dust. She blinked. Twice. Her expression shifted quickly.

"Hey! I said on three!" she called after her.

"You snooze, you lose!" Usagi taunted over her shoulder.

An amused look settled over Seiya's features. "Oh yeah? Well, we'll see about that!" She launched after the blonde like a cheetah after a gazelle. Pumping her arms and gaining speed, she was on her tail in no time.

"Don't look back now," Seiya teased. Her confidence soared.

Usagi glanced over her shoulder and squealed. She picked up the pace, giving it everything she had. Wind whistled through her hair. Seiya's feet pounded behind her. Her lungs burned, her legs were exhausted, and her heart felt like it was going to explode. Adrenaline coursed through her veins. Usagi felt good. She felt free.

The bedroom was coming up fast. Seiya pushed forward with a final burst of speed, surpassing her lover.

"Hey!" Usagi made a pouty face as the Starlight blew by. Seiya grinned and threw her a wink before pressing on for the win.

They skidded to a stop together, Usagi red-faced and out of breath, Seiya hardly winded.

"I...can't believe...we just...did that," Usagi panted, her hands on her knees. She choked out a giggle. "I mean...I feel like such a kid!"

Seiya laughed. "It's nice though, isn't it? Letting go every so often."

"It is." Usagi stretched her arms, then her legs. Her face twisted into a grimace. "Except the part where my legs are totally exhausted. I don't think I can take one more step," she joked.

"No problem. I'll carry you to bed." Before Usagi could object, Seiya swept her off her feet and hugged her close, like a prince carrying a princess to safety.

"Seiya! What're you doing? Put me down!"

"Geez, Bun Head, you don't look it, but you're kind of heavy."

Usagi slapped her shoulder. "Hey!"

"Only kidding," she teased.

Usagi opened her mouth to protest, but Seiya kissed the side of her lips, drowning out the words. Before she knew it, Usagi was kissing her back, long and deep, and they were making out right there in the hallway outside their bedroom.

The door eased open, and step by step, Seiya carried Usagi into the moonlit bedroom, kissing furiously the whole time.