16- A Bitter Season

Late Winter

Pan's eyes were lulling to a close. Her head bobbed, and she gasped as she straightened her back against her bed and stared at her balcony door. She almost hoped that if she stared hard enough, Trunks would come walking through it.

It had been thirty days since she had last seen Trunks. The first few days when he didn't show up, Pan tried not to let it worry her. Even though Trunks had started to visit daily, she knew he had a life on Vegeta-Sei and thought that maybe he was just busy. But days turned into a week and then two, and now a whole month had gone by without hearing from him. She had thought that maybe he was on a raid and would turn up eventually, but he hadn't yet.

A frightfully chilly breeze swept through, making the balcony doors creak open. Pan shivered and wrapped a blanket around herself. She knew it was foolish to leave her balcony doors open, but if Trunks happened to come by, she wanted him to see that he was still welcomed.

Pan's eyes grew unbearably heavy. Despite her shivering, she felt slightly warm, like a fire was in the pit of her stomach. Slowly, her body fell to the ground, and she curled the blanket around herself tighter. Pan let out a heavy breath, and she could have sworn she smelled the ocean as her eyes closed.

Trunks broke through salty water with a loud gasp. He was soaked as the chilling blue water roared around him. He had never felt so cold, and his teeth chattered uncontrollably. His eyes glanced around, hoping to see some nearby land, but all he saw was endless waves.

Where was he? It couldn't be Vegeta-Sei. There wasn't a body of water this big anywhere on the planet.

A huge wave crashed down on top of Trunks and pulled him under. His nose burned, and he thrashed wildly against the waves. His eyes burned as he opened them. He could barely see! He strained his eyes as he turned around, trying his best to find out exactly where he was and what he could do to survive.

In the distance, Trunks could see a pale figure floating in the water with her back to him, and he froze. The figure wasn't struggling like he was. She was just floating, wholly submerged. The pale dress she wore blew around her like there was a breeze underwater. Her dark hair floated around her, and Trunks felt himself growing sick as he swam over to the figure.

He touched her cold shoulder and turned her around to face him slowly. As soon as he saw her face, he let out a silent scream.

Trunks sat up in his bed, drenched with so much sweat that he did look like he just came out of the ocean. He stumbled off his bed and almost fell on the floor before he caught himself on the wall nearby. He couldn't find his breath, and he closed his eyes.

Pan's lifeless face flashed before him, and he remembered his her skin was a dark paste-like color, and he gasped out a choke. Trunks shook as he slowly slid down the wall.

Every night for the last several weeks, Trunks had had nothing but nightmares. The nightmares were always different in their settings, but the conclusion was still the same. He always found Pan dead, and it was always because he hadn't found her quick enough. He hadn't been able to save her in any of his dreams.

Trunks shuddered as he blinked his warm eyes and choked back a sob. He knew it would take weeks to get over Pan, he had expected it, but having nightmares about her was unbearable. It made his stomach feel like a bottomless pit, and sleep had become rare. Sometimes he would stay up for days at a time so that he could crash and sleep dreamless for a few hours.

Trunks stayed against the wall shaking for several minutes before he felt like he had enough strength to get up. Holding the wall for support, he got up and walked to his balcony. He opened his dark blinds and peered out. The stars that speckled across the night sky reminded him so much of Pan's eyes. He was staying away to keep her safe, so why did it feel like he was making a huge mistake?

Early Spring

Chi-Chi wiped the budding sweat from Pan's hairline before she tucked a long dark strand of her daughter's hair behind her hair. She straightened her back as she looked at Pan, who had looked as if she had run a marathon of some sort. Her face was red, and sweat rolled down the underside of her neck.

For the last several weeks, Chi-Chi could tell that Pan hadn't been feeling the best. She wasn't as peppy and had grown rather quiet- a sure sign she wasn't feeling well. Then Chi-Chi had woken up one night, and she wasn't sure what made her wake, but she liked to think it was the Kais. She had checked in on Pan because her gut was telling her something was wrong, and oh, something was indeed wrong.

When Chi-Chi had found her, Pan was passed out on her floor with her balcony doors wide open! Her room had been so cold, but Pan was even more so! For several fearful seconds, Chi-Chi had been terrified that Pan wasn't also alive, but then she felt her weak pulse. Immediately, she called for nearby guards, and soon, Dr. Brief was rushing into the room. That had been weeks ago, and although Pan had days where she looked better, she was still sick.

"Mama," Pan's hoarse voice called as her eyes peeked open.

"Yes?" Chi-Chi said as leaned over Pan.

"Did he come today?"

Chi-Chi's stomach dropped. "No," she said softly. "He didn't."

Pan swallowed a lump in her throat and closed her eyes. Chi-Chi let out a sigh as she watched Pan's breathing slow down. She turned on her heel and stalked out of Pan's room and down the halls and straight into Dr. Brief's office.

The old Doctor was sitting behind his desk and jumped, startled at Chi-Chi's intrusion. Usually, she wouldn't be so rude since she had a deep respect for Dr. Brief's for helping Pan so much, but at the moment, she felt so frustrated and annoyed.

"Where is he?" She asked Dr. Brief.

"My dear," he said with wide eyes. "Who are you talking about?"

"The Saiyan!" Chi-Chi nearly snapped. "The one you're letting everyone believe is your grandson." Pan had asked for him every single day- sometimes several times a day when she was delirious with fever. Yet that Saiyan, that man who Chi-Chi had honestly liked, hadn't even shown up once!

If Dr. Brief was surprised that Chi-Chi knew the truth, he didn't show it.

"He is going through a test at the moment."

The answer surprised Chi-Chi because truthfully, she wasn't expecting it. "What do you mean?"

"It's a terrifying world out there," Dr. Brief said quietly. "There are real-life monsters out there that will use whatever they possibly can to make others suffer. Is the fear of not being with her stronger than his fear of that monster?"

Chi-Chi sucked in a breath as a cold shiver ran down her spine. "No," she whispered. That monster had taken her husband from her. He couldn't take her daughter as well!

"He cares about her a lot, you know," Dr. Brief said quietly. "That boy-" he shook his head with a heavy sigh. "He took off, stating that he would stay away to protect her without even letting me finish talking."

Chi-Chi swallowed thickly. "And do you think him staying away is protecting her?"

"No," Dr. Brief answered quietly. "I don't think it's protecting either one of them."

When Marron had first arrived at the palace with her mother, Endou and Bulla had caught her and informed her that Trunks had been off for weeks now. They said he just wasn't acting the same, but he wouldn't talk to them. She knew what they were asking- find out what's wrong, and please fix it.

Marron searched all the usual places where Trunks usually hid. He wasn't in the weaponry room, the west library, on the roof, or near the pillars by the training dock. That left only one last place for Marron to check- Tarble's memorial room. It was in a sectioned off-site in the castle's basement, but Marron found her way there and opened up the door to the dim room.

Marron had seen Trunks countless times after he had returned from raids, but the way he looked now was worse than she had ever seen him. There were deep, dark circles under his dull blue eyes. His face was sagging, and his usually healthy, tanned complexion was looking a lot like ash.

"You look awful."

Trunks looked up at her from his spot on the floor, and even though he glared at her, there was nothing behind his eyes.

She let out a sigh and squatted down so she could be eye-level with him. "What's going on? You haven't been on a raid in a while. Endou and Bulla are worried about you."

"It's nothing," he said, his voice sounding somewhat defeated.

"Okay then," she said softly. "Back-to-back then."

Marron sat down before she turned around and pressed her back against his. When they were younger, this was how they would confide in each other their secrets. He would tell her about his fears of Frieza and how much he missed his uncle, and she would tell him about how controlling her mother was.

"Now talk to me," she told Trunks, elbowing him gently.

"I don't want to."

"Don't be a sourpuss."

"I'm not."

"Then talk to me."

"It's a big can of 'oh shit.'"

"It usually is where you're concerned," Marron nodded her head thoughtfully. He had a knack for finding trouble. "Don't tell me you broke one of your Eomma's inventions again? I don't think you'd get this moody about something like that."

"I did break one of her inventions," Trunks confessed.

"Are you scared to tell your Eomma?" Marron asked curiously. Trunks had broken countless inventions before, and although Bulma got irritated, her anger never lasted long once she got to work on the invention and made it even better than before.

"No," Trunks said. "I'm upset because it won't work anymore."

"What was it?"

"A bracelet that let me travel to other planets," he said quietly.

"Why would you need a bracelet for that?" He wasn't the type to just go visiting other planets. There had to be a reason for it.

Trunks was silent, and Marron had a strange feeling as to why. She turned so she could see the side of his face. "Where is she from?" She asked quietly.

"Earth."

Marron wasn't upset or hurt. Before anything else, Trunks was her best friend, and she wanted him to be happy. She wasn't in love with him, and she knew he wasn't in love with her. The bond between them was friendship and nothing more.

"Why don't you ask your Eomma to fix it so you can see her again?"

Trunks sighed and hunched over so he could hold his head in his hands. "I broke it on purpose."

"Why?"

"She's not like us, Marron. She's not a Saiyan, and she's not part-Cyborg. She's just human," he let out a loud sigh. "What if Frieza finds out about her?" He asked with a shaking voice. "Or someone else after the Saiyans? I couldn't even protect Hyung-" he said as he looked up at the picture of Tarble hanging on the wall. "How can I protect her?" He whispered.

Marron laid her head against Trunks' shoulder. She didn't speak for several minutes and just silently sat at his side, reassuring him that she was there.

"You know," Marron said after many minutes had passed. "You're a lot stronger than you used to be, Trunks. You need to think about what you fear the most. Is the fear of not being with her stronger than your fear of Frieza?" Marron asked quietly.

Trunks didn't answer her, but as he turned to look at her, Marron could see the answer in his eyes. His eyes were shining like the blue sky on earth.

Trunks realized he was dreaming right away.

He was near the Dragons Den, the closest he had ever dared to go while awake. High rocky walls surrounded the dirt path he was walking along. Through the cracks, he saw Capital Vegeta. He turned his attention towards the two mountains in front of him. They were the largest in the Dragons Den area. A narrow valley of steps laid between them that went a quarter of the ways up the mountains, and in the distance, Trunks saw a familiar figure.

Trunks stopped and stared at her. Pan was standing at the very top of the steps. She was watching him with anticipation, and Trunks took off in a run. He knew it was just a dream, but she was there.

A strangled scream escaped Trunks, and he came to a sudden stop as the fire rose from the ground around Pan. He couldn't see her through the flames, and he swallowed his panic as he started running towards her again. He would beat whatever tragedy came her way this time. He would save her!

Just as Trunks neared the fire, Pan walked out of it, unscathed. She smiled at him and jumped at him as her arms wound around his neck. Trunks had to catch them from falling, and he wrapped his arms around her waist as his nose buried into her hair.

It was just a dream.

But he could feel her in his arms.

It was just a dream.

But he could smell her shampoo as if she were next to him.

Pan leaned back just enough to meet his eyes, and her smile was still plastered across her pretty face. "I'm waiting for you," she told him softly.

Trunks reached a shaking hand up and cupped her face as his thumb stroked her cheek. "I won't make you wait much longer," he promised.

Mid-Spring

"Are you going to tell me what you're nosing around in my study for?" Vegeta asked.

"Why would I tell you?" Trunks fought back his smirk as he looked over the books along his Appa's wall.

Vegeta let out a grunt. "You're a brat."

Trunks didn't answer as he kept searching the shelves. He had finally confessed to his Eomma about the broken bracelet. To his surprise, she hadn't been upset because she had expected it to happen. She was working on new prototypes of the bracelets, one that would be sturdier and more resistant to Ki. The bad thing about them, though, was that they wouldn't be finished until Mid-Summer and Trunks couldn't wait that long. He had already gone a whole season without seeing Pan. He couldn't go another.

So he was scavenging through his Appa's office, hoping to find something that might be of use. He picked up a book that looked promising and looked through it but found nothing but fighting strategies. He looked at the page closer and found that they were just fighting plans they were Ki attacks! Trunks knew how to use and control his Ki, but some of these things he had never heard before. KameHame? Kaio-Ken? Spirit Bomb? Most of them were written in a font Trunks didn't realize, but down at the bottom, he recognized the thin scrawl of his Appa's.

"Galactic Gun? Big Bang Attack?" Trunks asked as he lifted his head to look at Vegeta.

Vegeta jumped up from his desk and walked over to Trunks and took the book from him. "Shit," he muttered under his breath. "I forgot all about this."

"What is it?" Trunks asked curiously.

"Attacks Kakarot and I created."

"Endou's Uncle, Kakarot?"

"Yeah," Vegeta nodded slowly.

"Did the attacks work?"

"Well, I managed some of them," the King smirked. "Here-" he tossed the book to Trunks. "Try them out yourself."

Trunks returned his smirk. "You do know that you could be giving me the secret to taking you down?"

Vegeta rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. "Brat, you could have the power of the Legendary Super Saiyan behind you, and you still wouldn't be able to take me down."

Trunks just chuckled as he turned to leave his Appa's study. He clutched the book against his chest tightly. Somehow, he knew the answer to seeing Pan again was in that book, and he was going to find it, no matter what.

"Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream."
-Euripides, Herakles