Let's Get Villanious!

by roxygoth

An AU of 'Let's Get Dangerous', the Fearsome Four are here and ready to play! ALL they've got to do is 1} Get rid of that pesky Darkwing Duck. [Easier said than done] 2} Gain control of St Canyard [Zan Owlson may have something to say about that.] and finally 3} Stop bickering long enough to actually DESTROY something. [That one should be self-explanatory.] Let's Get Villainous!

4. Hamburger Hippo

Hey! Roxy Goth here. First of all, thank you to GiddyReflections and katmar1994 for reviewing the last chapter. It means a lot.

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it'll probably be the last one before December. You might notice I've changed the rating up to K+, just cause this does centre on four super-villains [and a permanently-tired super-hero.] and I'm not entirely sure what they're going to get up to.

So anyway, my ramblings aside. Let's crack on with the next chapter!

By the time Darkwing had got back to his hideout, filed a report to Zan Owlson and changed into his pyjamas it was ridiculous AM. He went to sleep with the full intention of sleeping until 11 AM.

Imagine his disappointment then when - at the [in his opinion] stupidly early time of 9:48 Launchpad burst into his room uninvited and - frankly - unwanted.

"D.W! D.W!"

Drake let out a sound that loosely translated as, "What!?"

"Mayor Owlson just called. You better get dressed quick, - you're never gonna GUESS what the Darkwing Duck Villains have done now!"

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[Earlier on. AKA, 'What the Darkwing Villains have done now.']

When Megavolt woke up it was to realise two things. One - he was very hot. Uncomfortably so in fact. Secondly - he had no idea where he was. Thirdly - there was someone he didn't recognise in his face and saying a name he didn't recognise.

"Oh Sparky, Sparky!"

Without thinking Megavolt punched the bird in the face, sending him reeling backwards and leapt to his feet with a: "Who the hell are you!?"

"Whoa, whoa, Megsy it's me!" The bird raised his hands to shield his beak.

Megavolt blinked and suddenly the pieces slotted together in his mind. This was Quackerjack, fellow supervillain and owner of Quackerjack Toys. He was just as mental as Megavolt himself, he just had a better memory. [Not that that was a high bar to beat.] The rat stepped back and said. "Sorry Quacky. Don't know what came over me."

Quackerjack swallowed hard, then made eye-contact with the rat. "No problem, Sparky. Now...we've got to leave, so let's get going."

Megavolt nodded. Then frowned. "Why are we leaving?"

"Dorkwing Duck told us to."

Megavolt raised an eyebrow. "And we're listening to what he's saying...why?"

Quackerjack rolled his eyes. "Ask Licky." He said, just a touch bitterly.

The Liquidator glared daggers and said - in a tone that indicated this wasn't the first, or even second time he'd told them this. "I TOLD you there's two reasons - A} this place isn't good for us anyway. It's to hot and I need to be near a better water source. B} By doing what 'The laughing-stock that flaps in the night' tell us to we're LULLING him into a false sense of security which will work for us in the long run. It's the perfect technique, so STOP WHINING and let's GET GOING before I STRANGLE YOU!"

"...Is that even possible?" Megavolt wondered aloud.

Liquidator turned his glare on him and snapped. "I don't know, Megavolt, are you volunteering to find out? Because a free trial CAN be arranged!"

Megavolt's brain might not be the best on the planet but even he could recognise the danger in that statement. He shook his head and backed away a few steps.

"That's better." The dog said, visibly relaxing. "Now. You'll be glad to know that while you where all snoozing I have come up with a plan to dominate St Canyard!"

"Yeah, I don't actually remember anyone voting you in charge." Quackerjack said, pointedly.

Liquidator head snapped round and he said, in a tone just DARING the jester to argue with him. "If you REMEMBER, Bird-Brain, I was voted Tarus-Bulba's second in command and now that he's not here that means I'M in charge. Unless..." The dog's voice got deeper as he growled his next words. "You'd like to challenge me?"

A beat, then Quackerjack said. "Okay, relax, Max - I was just asking. So...what's the plan, Stan?"

"Right." Liquidator slapped his hands together causing water droplets to fall onto the ground which he either didn't notice or chose to ignore. "So we need to step things up a bit. Let St Canyard know that we're here. And the way we're going to do that is-" A strange sound interrupted his speech and the dog paused deliberately, then balled his hands into fist and said - in a tone made of pure ice. "What. Was. That?"

Another beat, then a sheepish. "My stomach." From Quackerjack. Seeing Licky's look of complete confusion, he added. "I'm hungry. You know, food? You need food to live? Well-" He adopted a comically confused look. "I suppose you don't - actually, what DO you eat? Or drink?"

Liquidator paused, then took a deep breath. This night was NOT going how he planned it. "Well then. I suppose we better get something to eat hadn't we? The tree can't grow unless the soil is rich after all."

A beat and then, Bushroot asked. "What does that mean?"

"JUST LEAD ME TO SOMEWHERE TO EAT BEFORE I REALLY LOSE MY TEMPER!" The water-dog bellowed.

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[One quick power-walk later.]

"Taa-daa!" Quackerjack said, flinging his arms out. "Hamburger Hippo! For all your junk-food needs!"

Liquidator stood slightly behind him looking around the room in quiet satisfaction. The people there looked absolutely terrified. He grinned at them and one women turned ghost-white. The water-dog let out a low chuckle and stood up taller. People were terrified of them, as they should be. This was going to be GREAT.

"Hi!" Liquiadator grimaced. Quackerjack sounded way to up-beat to be a super-villain. "Can we-"

"Oh God!" The duck behind the counter lost all couler instantly and stammered. "D-d-don't hurt me! J-just take the m-money!"

"We don't want-" The pelican began.

Furious, with the pelican for bottling out, the Liquidator shoved him aside and snapped. "ALL the money, short-stack or else Megavolt here-" He nodded towards the electrical rat who [much to his frustration] was looking up at the ceiling. "Will deep-fry YOU, got it?"

"Er Licky?" The villain in question turned to see Quackerjack patting his stomach meaningfully. The water-dog sighed.

"And Two cheeseburgers." He growled. "Now you better HOP TO IT before I cancel the contract on your life, GOT IT!?"

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[In Drake's customer-made Rat-catcher that he designed himself.]

"I STILL don't see why the police can't deal with this." Drake complained for about the third time in 20 minutes.

Launchpad rolled his eyes and looked at the view.

"I mean, it's a robbery for crying out loud. That's what they're paid for, isn't it? To deal with minor crime? I'd understand it if the villains were trying to take down Scrooge McDuck's money bin or something but a robbery? I mean, c'mon!"

"It's another time to prove your worth as a super-hero though." Launchpad said, optimistic as ever.

But that seemed to irritate Drake further if anything and by the time they got they he was practically smoking. To his credit though he managed to calm down enough to make it seem like the owners HADN'T really annoyed him by simply following procedure.

As soon as the rat-catcher stopped, Darkwing jumped out of it and struck a suitably dramatic pose before pulling his hat further down over his face and demanding to know. "Okay, WHERE are they?" He looked up to see a swan and a dog looking at him apologetically and absolutely NO signs of ANY villains, super or otherwise.

He sighed.