Chapter 5 - Confrontation
My stomach ached and heart thumped as I tried to catch up with Whice, still sore from Dale's beatdown. Mamono and Incubi of all sorts were piling out of their tents and cabins brandishing nasty looking weapons. "Don't just leave me be-Woah!" I barely ducked under a javelin sailing straight over my head towards Whice, who easily cut it in half. "I'm weak as shit so I need protecting!"
"That's not so manly, admitting to a girl how weak you are." she playfully chided, slicing down three incubi charging her.
"To be frank I don't give a shit about manly pride right now." I said irritably.
"Whatever, you unlock all the cages while I fend off the thugs, sound good?"
"As long as you make sure I'm not dead!" I booked it towards the other cages as Whice followed behind, cutting down any bandit who tried to reach me. Stopping at the first one, I fumbled with the keys as desperate shouts of hope clamored from within the cage. Finally finding the right key I inserted it and swung the door open, a flurry of "Chief God bless you"s and rough back pats assaulting me as the men flooded out.
I did the same for the next two cages, a rebellion steadily growing as previous captives picked up weapons from the defeated slavers. Our enemies were mostly easy fodder, the main ones causing problems were the other Mamono. A girtablilu was dropping men like flies, stinging and paralyzing them with her scorpion tail. Oh fuck she's beelining straight towards me-
"WHICE!" I shouted as the scorpion-girl shot her tail at me. I crouched down, barely missing the stinger as it clang against the metal bars. My response was to kick up some dirt in her eyes, to which she began blindly stabbing the ground in hopes of hitting me. The attack was cut off by a pained shriek as her tail fell to the floor, severed at the base. The Musketeer behind then stabbed straight through the scorpion body, effectively neutralizing her.
"Thanks…." I wheezed through my panting.
"Don't mention it. How many have you freed so far?"
"At least thirty guys. There's still about five cages-BEHIND YOU!"
Whice whipped around and intercepted Shaula, three large daggers clashing against her rapier. After a brief momentum struggle she wrenched the mouse girl back, making her skid against the dirt.
"My, it's not very ladylike to attack from behind." The musketeer innocently teased.
"It's not very ladylike to attack in the first place!" The rodent snarked.
"Not to interrupt, but I used up all the keys!" I shouted between them. "There's still five cages left!"
Shaula tried leaping at me, but Whice locked blades with her once more. "You'll just have to find the others then!" she shouted through the successive clangs of metal.
*SPLRT!*
"DUCK!" I yelled at Whice. Just in the nick of time she jerked her head downwards, A glob of silk catching her hat and flinging it to a nearby tree.
"YOU!" That all too familiar drawl shrieked. "You're lettin' all our slaves escape!"
Whice put her hand to her mouth in faux realization. "Excellent observation, Spindly! I would've never been able to figure that out otherwise!"
"Rrrgh, Ima liquify your insides Whice Wintergem!" Lesley clamored, scuttling towards her in a very freaky manner.
"What am I, pest control?" Whice shrugged. "I can handle a mouse and a spider…." Her confidence dropped just a tad when a handful of other monsters encircled her, a horde of mooks joining as well.
"Go, look for the keys!" The musketeer urgently told me.
"I won't last five minutes out there!"
"You'll just have to wing it!"
"Fuck my life.…" I muttered again, rushing towards the cabin I saw Dale enter. If there was any spot where the keys would be, it was there. I didn't get very far before a gruff looking man with a sword blocked my way.
"If you don't resist I won't slice ya." he sneered.
Another stepped up behind me swinging a pair of bolas. "We don't like roughing up our merchandise but sometimes it can't be helped."
Shit, what do I do? I had no weapon or combat skills to help me out here, only wits and sheer luck. Running was out of the question, the bola man would catch me in no time flat. My only chance was to somehow turn their momentum against them.
"Oh yeah?" I replied tauntingly, turning to face the bola wielder in a cocky manner. "Why don't you prove your balls half as big as your bolas and fight me then?"
Oh god what am I doing
Despite myself being scared shitless the bandit acted exactly how I wanted. Ticked off, he impulsively threw the weights at my feet, to which I acted fast and dove to the side, letting them wrap around the other thug's legs and trip him to the ground. While both muggers were distracted I lunged at the swordsman and kicked him hard in the face, knocking him out cold. Before the other could regain his composure I picked up the sword and hovered it over his partner's neck, putting on my best intimidation face.
"Move a muscle and he's dead!" I sternly shouted, making him stop dead in his tracks. The man's brow furrowed even more trying to figure out what to do next. Shit, I didn't know what to do next either. The second I try and run he'd attack.
An idea popped in my head, it was admittedly reckless and suicidal, but it was the only thing I could think of. I hastily lifted the sword from the unconscious man and placed it against my neck.
"I'm supposedly worth billions right? You're not willing to lose out on that kind of money, are you?" Despite the fake smile of confidence plastered on my face I couldn't stop my hand from furiously shaking.
The mongol sneered out of ridicule. "Go ahead. You're too pussy to-"
I quickly notched the blade into my neck by a centimeter, breaking the skin and drawing blood.
"Woahwoahwoahokay!" He instantly sputtered in a panic, shaking his hands in submission. "I'll comply I'll comply!"
"That's what I thought." I hissed through the stinging. It hurt like hell, but I had to produce results to reinforce my bluff or it'd all be pointless. "I'm gonna back away now. If you try anything I'll kill your friend then kill myself."
I grabbed the other bandit by the collar and started dragging him with me, sword pointed at his neck. Now at the door of the cabin I opened it and entered the building, throwing my hostage inside and slamming the door shut.
"Psssshhh." I leaned back against the door, exhaling in relief. Jeez, how do I keep getting this lucky?
*THUD!*
A force slammed against the door scaring the living daylights out of me. "Ima flay and heal your skin over and over until you're mute!" bellowed a deep voice on the other side. Luckily there was a wooden beam to act as a barricade which I forced into position, no way a single human could break that. I turned towards the cabin hallway with multiple rooms on each side, my breaths shallow and anxious. Dale would probably rush out any second, no way he didn't hear all that thrashing.
…
Silence. Could he not be in here? Maybe he rushed out already and I didn't see, but I feel like he would've seen and charged straight for me. Sitting there pondering over it was wasting valuable time, so I opted to sneak forward, sword in hand.
Room after room yielded no results for the keys, the dim moonlight making the search difficult. After turning a corner I spotted a room down the hall faintly glowing with candlelight. A familiar plucking sound was barely audible. I slowly creeped up to the edge of the doorway, that signature twang was definitely my guitar, so the person in that room was most likely Dale.
Taking one of the coins I pocketed from the various rooms I tossed it in, a little jingle echoing throughout the room. My plan was to get his attention then stab him once he peeked out the doorway. However, the twangy sound didn't stop. Fishing out another coin, I basically chucked it in resulting in a very audible thud. There's no way he didn't hear that.
The tune from the instrument didn't stop.
Is this guy deaf or something? A final third coin just as loud hit the floor just as loud, the vibration of strings still continued. I trusted my instincts and slowly stepped in front of the entrance white gripping my sword. In the room was Dale, facing away from me in a chair with my headphones on attempting to play Ventura Highway. That explains why he hasn't come out in all the commotion or noticed me, those headphones were completely noise cancelling. A bundle of keys was resting on the desk behind him, five total. That had to be it.
I creeped up behind preparing to stab him through the back, but hesitated. Even if he was a strawberry prick I couldn't just murder a person in cold blood like that. My eyes drifted to my blowgun leaning against his desk to my side, all the darts sticking to a painting of an Order cross. Picking up the camo-taped PVC tube, I slowly raised it over my head and swiftly brought it down over Dale's. His head jerked down from the momentum with a loud *THWACK!*, but he didn't faint. For a brief moment Dale was completely still, his head slowly rising back up and turning towards me in confusion. We simply stared at each other for two seconds until his blank expression turned to one of rage.
Fuck, operation Tsutsumi was a no-go. Time to fight dirty.
"Why the hell're you he-!?"
I immediately swung the blowgun upwards and cuffed Dale upside the chin. The impact sent him stumbling backwards as I grabbed my sword and lunged at him. Dale quickly hoisted my guitar as a shield, an incoherent twang screeching through the room as my blade jabbed the pickups. Before I realized it Dale already unhooked his whip and cracked it, the lash wrapping around my blade before he yanked it out of my grasp.
I ducked behind the desk just in time as a loud *CRACK* hit the wall behind me, sending splinters flying. I lunged at Dale from under the desk and tackled his legs, the resulting force slamming his head into the desk. He fell to the floor in shock, now sitting on the floor in front of my prone form. The southner countered by clamping his knees around my head in a vice grip to crush my noggin. My vision was becoming hazy from the pain, but before I could pass out I drew my fist back and punched as hard as I could square in Dale's baby makers.
What? I said I was gonna fight dirty.
Exhaling in anguish the Incubus loosened his grip, allowing me to curl back from under the desk. I shot up and kicked the large desk onto him, swiping the keys off the floor and yanking the guitar from his shoulders. I was about to ram the instrument's head against his face, but a familiar voice from outside outcried in pain distracting me.
Whice was in trouble.
I blunted Dale's face with my guitar and hastily slung it on my back, turning towards the door, but a swift kick to my heel sent me face planting against the wood planks. I screamed bloody murder, the impact on my foot definitely cracking bone. Dale slowly stood up and hunched over me, bloody nose and hand over his special zone.
"Forget what I said….about your balls, Ima crush them...over and over…." Dale panted between breaths. I desperately crawled towards the door but was stopped by the whip striking my back.
'CRACK!'
"AAAAGH!"
I hissed through grit teeth trying to hold back tears, but the awful sting rebounded with another crack.
He whipped me again.
And again.
Now kneeling on the ground with my hands over my head, a steel plated kick slammed into my jaw. This time there was no pain, my consciousness too bleary to process any. Fading in and out of black I could barely register being lifted off the ground by the throat, my airway being squeezed by an iron grip.
Have….to stay…..
!
A rough collision hit the rear of my head, abruptly jolting my senses back along with sharp pricks all over my back. I was now outside the cabin, Dale glaring at me through a broken window. Despite the world of hurt I was in, everything ached noticeably less as a new adrenaline rush filled my being. I shot up and dashed inhumanly fast into the chaos, twisting and turning to throw the Cowboy off my trail.
"Catch me if you can Bug-fucker!" I mocked as he chased me through the fire lit cabins. I skidded to a halt as I found Whice, noticeably worse for wear. Trails of blood flowed from her forehead, a dagger embedded hilt deep in her shoulder. Laying around her was at least thirty thugs, looks like eight of the ten Mamono were down as well. Shaula and Lesley were the only ones left standing, circling Whice in a Mexican standoff.
"HEY!" I shouted, garnering everyone's attention. "Look at me you damn hentai SCPs! Your most valuable slave's fuckin around here while you're wasting time with swordsgirl!" The spider and mouse gave me frustrated scowls in contrast to Whice's relieved expression.
"Glad you-"
"Here!" I tossed the keys to the musketeer and sprinted off, my jeers growing increasingly distant. "Guess your one chance of hitting it rich is long gone now!"
A brief check behind the shoulder revealed Lesley and Shaula briefly conversing before the former started scuttling after me. Holy shit, a spider the size of a buggy car chasing after you is fucking scary.
"By the way, your husband wasn't all the shit he talked either! I beat his ass with a stick!"
"Rrrgh, get back here right the fuck now!" Lesley yelled from behind. Using the cover of night I ducked and weaved through the forest, covering my head from the silk globs hurtling past me into nearby trees with a squishy whump. My momentum came to a halt as I burst into the middle of a clearing, seeing Dale at the edge lazily slinging his whip around with that stupid shit eating grin.
"Nowhere to run now Shitskin!" He smugly yelled as Lesley came to a stop behind me.
Fuck, now I was cornered between the two of them. I had no idea what to do, Whice was most likely dealing with Shaula and the men were busy fighting the other bandits.
"Perhaps we'll sell him off to a particularly nasty Mamono, hmm?" Lesley purred. "I have an especially domineering Alat-Natcha cousin in mind…."
"Not before we squash his balls over and over!" Dale laughed. "Pencil neck here pulled the ultimate pussy move and hit below the belt, so it's only fair he feels it too!"
Fuck no. I was neither getting my balls crushed nor getting sold to a spider-loli.
"I'm gonna show you just how much that fuckin hurts kid.…" Dale venomously uttered, his whip slowing a bit. "Let's do it Lesley-Darlin!"
"Sure thing Daley-hunny!" Lesley replied in a crazed voice.
They were about to attack. Don't panic...shit! I'm panicking! The hell am I supposed to do right now?!
My eyes slightly widened as I remembered my previous encounter with Lesley. That's it, the backpack strategy! Use their momentum against them!
A cocky smile plastered my face as I slowly turned around to face Lesley. "Even if my balls are crushed and I'm raped for the rest of my life, at least I won't be married to a racist shithead who's ego's as fragile as his balls."
"Rrrgh, That's the LAST STRAW!" Lesley roared, firing her organic lasso at me without thinking. Right at the last second I sharply turned out of the way, slinging my guitar off my back. The string shot right past and nailed Dale in the stomach, knocking the wind out of his lungs. His eyes darted between the rope and my stance, only to widen in panic upon realizing my plan.
"WaIT LES-"
It was too late. Dale's wife jerked her abdomen back, sending him flying straight at me. What must've been an insane slasher grin split my mouth as I held the guitar like a bat and leaned forward. A brief glimpse of the Incubus's petrified face almost tinged me with guilt.
Almost.
I swung the instrument with all my might right into Dale's face, hard. A sickening crack paired with the twang of strings filled the air as the force nearly knocked me over, but I stayed firm and followed through with the swing. After initial impact the cowboy's face painfully slid under the guitar body and out of sight with a little thud.
Turning around again, Lesley's face was absolutely priceless. Her expression mirrored the scream of nature, her mouth a little 'o' and eyes blank dots of shock. Getting a good look at Dale it was easy to understand her reaction. The cartilage of his bleeding nose was completely obliterated. One of his horns was hanging off his forehead and several of his perfect teeth were now missing. If anything, it reminded me of God Ussopp's wanted poster.
Who knew manipulating people's anger was so effective?
Lesley gently set down her husband and gave me a glare equivalent to Tomino's hell. "I don't give a fuck anymore if you're a Drifter, I'm liquifying you inside out." droned her frigid calm voice.
Holy shit that was terrifying.
I didn't dare spout any comeback and booked it as hard as my legs would carry me. That eerie scuttlescuttle was slowly gaining on me, I needed to do something fast.
Now back in the thick of the forest, I picked up a rock and hid behind a tree. After my rustling stopped I chucked it hard against another distant log, hoping the sound would throw her off.
Lesley scurried into the spot I'd been three seconds ago, pondering which way to take. "Come out you little shit!" She jeered. "I know you're hiding here somewhere!"
I probably had less than a minute before she found me. Think! What can you do to incapacitate her? Blunt force? That'll only work if you reach her….
I subconsciously scratched the itchy bandage on my neck. Those puncture holes were not helping me focus right now….
Puncture.
She did the same to me, so maybe I could do the same to her….
I checked my blowgun for any darts, fortunately one was still resting in the barrel. Pulling it out I set the needle against my jugular, pushing the dart through the bandage in hopes of coating some venom on the pin despite the pain.
Would this plan work? Chances were probably next to zero. It might not be potent enough, she might be immune to her own venom, etce etc, but it was my only chance.
Inserting the dart into the tube I silently inhaled and whipped around, blowing a sharp exhale out at my target before running for the hills. A cute yelp of pain from behind confirmed my shot. That venom was potent enough to knock me out for near twelve hours, so hopefully it had some effectiveness on Lesley.
"Once I catch you Ima bite your dick off!"
Ignoring her freudian threat I ran into what seemed to be another clearing-
"FUCK!"
My feet skidded to a stop in front of a steep ledge that would've meant certain death had I not stopped. This wasn't a clearing - it was a cliff.
I frantically glanced between the ledge and the forest, an encroaching mass from behind mere seconds away. There was one lone pinetree to my side, so I took my only chance and began to climb.
Lesley charged out of the foliage and almost off the cliff, but anchored herself just in time with her silk. She caught view of me scaling the pine and flashed her sharp teeth in a terrifying sneer. "Hah! Now you're royally fucked!"
My footing abruptly became a lot less stable as the tree shook from something else climbing it. I looked down; and instantly wished I didn't. Lesley was scurrying up the tree at twice the speed, her spider legs deftly climbing the branches. "C'mon, you can't...escape…."
The drider's ascent drastically slowed, her head bobbing up and down and legs beginning to slip against the branches.
"Thank god it's working..." I thought. I couldn't rest easy though, as she was still catching up to me at an alarming rate. Glob after glob of thick silk shot upwards trying to hit me, but Lesley's drowsiness and the environment majorly offed her aim. Before I knew it I was already at the top of the tree, nowhere to turn.
Fuckfuckfuck! I panicked internally, cornered at a dead end. I briefly considered jumping off before mentally slapping myself. That suicide tactic would only result in an excruciating death. After some brief pondering my mind thought of a last ditch effort.
"Hey Dumbass!" I shouted downwards. "Why don't you sling up here with your lasso? I wanna give you a good ass beating like I did your husband!"
"You're the dumbass...if you think I'll fall for that twice! My lasso clearly doesn't work on you!
"Even so Shelob, firing silk globs at me won't work either! What if you nail me and I fall?"
"Tch, it's no use stalling! You're….absolutely fucked, yknow that?!" She quickened her pace with the threat. "You're trapped up there! I just hafta climb up and catch you!"
I somehow needed her to lasso me. But there's no fucking way she'll do it twice!
Well, maybe one way….
An absolutely mental idea formed in my head, and I hated myself for it.
"I don't think I'm necessarily trapped up here…" I smugly retorted. I felt that unhealthy slasher grin line my face again as she stared at me in disbelief.
"You wouldn't…."
"I would."
I pushed myself from the tree as hard as possible, screaming like a little bitch along the way. My heart sank in my chest as I plummeted back first towards my impending death, a faint "You crazy bastard!" came from above as my consciousness swiftly faded to black from the shock.
Just as fast as I was out, my mind was jolted awake by something punching my stomach, forcing the air out in a pathetic wheeze. I didn't register anything else other than a stop of momentum before being yanked the other direction. Now flying at break-neck speeds towards the spider I held my guitar like a rifle, angling it juust right, and-
*PLAM!*
As my body slammed into Lesley the headstock uppercutted her chin with a cringe inducing crack, her head violently jerking back from the hit. The only audible noise was my rasping and the slight creaking of branches. We stayed still for a couple seconds before Lesley slowly tipped forwards, plummeting back to the ground.
"AAAAAAAAHH!"
If I wasn't screaming like a little bitch before I definitely was now. The descent was over before I even realized it, the massive arachne body thankfully bracing most of the collision in a huge crash, leaving a slight indent in the ground. My face thankfully bounced between her large breasts as unconventional airbags, much to my luck.
Not in that way damnit!
My head was spinning and heart pounding from the fifty foot drop. Lesley was completely out cold, the strike doing a number on her pretty face. All eight of her red eyes were whited out with a nasty bruise under her chin.
"Hnnngh, everything hurts." I groaned. Standing up, my posture resembled an old man as I tenderly rubbed my swollen ankle.
*rustlerustlerustle*
My attention was jerked to the clearing as the rushing sound footsteps hurtled towards me.
"Are you fucking kidding me…." I rasped, gripping my guitar like a club. I was gonna fight till the bitter end, no matter what.
Emerging from the clearing was a battered Whice, her worried expression giving way to a huge smile upon spotting me.
"Murnax!" She joyously shouted, excitedly sprinting towards me.
"Hey Whice," I smiled. "good to se-"
My words were cut off as she tackled me in a bear hug unbefitting of her petite frame. My cheeks heated up as her arms cradled the back of my head into her...assets.
"I'm so glad you're okay!" The Musketeer jumped up and down. "I ran by that incubus who went after you, but man you messed his face up!" Before I could respond she looked at the shrivelled up drider with surprise. "And you took the Arachne out? I severely underestimated you!"
"That's great and all Whice, but I think I'm about to pass out."
"...Eh?" Whice cutely responded. "Eeeeh?!" Her face contorted to one of adorable panic as my head tilted back, my vision once again going black.
"Hey, stay with me, C'mon!" was all I could hear as her blurry words echoed in my ears. My consciousness was finally out for good, refusing to wake up after multiple interruptions.
Seems like I somehow made it out alive. Somehow….