Chapter 6 - Contemplation

You know that certain dream-like haziness? That kind of fog that permeates the atmosphere as you can somewhat grasp what's going on, but not entirely? This was the cold environment as I walked down a hardened tar road. Everything was so clear yet so undefined, the abstract of my subconscious working at full force. Yet my mind believed the illusion through and through, trusting everything as perfectly natural. The pain from the previous battle was completely gone, as well as my original set of clothes. In place of my cherry blossom hoodie was a striped gray hollister jacket paired with the same Adidas sweatpants. Everything was swamped in a huge mist, the spherical street lights glowing like blurry moons in the distance. I was walking up to a building, a huge grey box with numerous illuminated windows.

It was a hospital.

The festering sense of unease in my chest only swelled as I pushed open the doors. The jingling of a bell alerted a nurse at the desk, her face blanked out by a white splotch.

"I'm here to see patient three-five-seven-F please?"

"Do you have your authentication slip?" The nurse politely responded.

"Yeah, it's uh.…" I quietly stated as I fumbled through my jacket pockets. "right here."

I showed the slip to the mannequin, her chilly hand taking it from my grasp.

"Here to see patient Ryan Beischlein?"

"Yes."

"Follow me please."

I trailed behind the nurse, trepidation apparent in my steps. My direction was the complete opposite of my feelings. I wanted to turn around. To run away. To avoid confrontation.

But Dad didn't raise a coward, so I trudged through the halls despite my heart sinking with each step. The nurse pushed a button which parted metal doors to an elevator. We stepped inside and I slipped on my headphones, hoping that my favorite TheMarias playlist could ease my swirling dread.

Carino…..E~res un amor…..

The elevator came to a gentle stop. The doors parted and we stepped out, walking halfway down the hall. There it was, that grey door which I hated with all my being. The code '357F' was engraved on a black plaque in front. The nurse twisted a key and pushed on the door. I slid my headphones off and took a deep breath, walking inside.

"Hey there, Werb nerd."

Laying in the bed was my best friend and twin brother. All sorts of tubes pierced his body, a nasal cannula lining his nostrils. His limbs resembled sad water balloons from the effects of the steroids. His hair was thin and wispy, and his breathing more like sad wheezing.

I cast my gaze downwards and balled my fists inside my jacket. "Hey there, Piano freak. You're still using that stupid nickname?"

"Heheh….it's just a dumber way of saying weeb, so it'll stick forever. And Piano Freak? Really?"

"You rather I call you Bitch-hoven or Moz-shit like I used to?" I chuckled. "I'm trying to be nice for once, yknow."

Ryan weakly exhaled. "It's somehow more rude if you put on a front instead of being yourself."

My shoulders slumped a bit. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It doesn't help to try and pretend everythings ok. Speaking of ok, you holding up good man? Well, as good as you can given your illness."

"Well, it's not the best. My kidneys are failing from pneumonia, my arthritis is enough to rival gramp's, and I got rashes all over like I fell in poison ivy."

I sharply inhaled as my brother rattled off the symptoms. "Yeah, not too good…..you able to play the piano anymore?"

"I try every day, but it hurts my fingers too much to seriously practice. It sucks so bad too, they have a Steinway just sitting outside."

"I saw it on my way in, I really wanted to go play it myself." Despite my smile the small talk pained my heart more with each word.

Unlike me my brother was a pure piano prodigy. He'd achieved his dream and got a spot to compete in the Chopin competition this year before his lupus developed. The swelling completely stiffened his fingers, shattering any chance of truly playing again. The pure injustice of it, the unfairness and cruelty made me want to blame someone. To take my anger out on them.

But I couldn't.

"I wish I could take your place." I began. "You never deserved any of this, you'll accomplish more than I ever will, I-"

"And take away your guitar and knife skills?" Ryan interrupted. "I couldn't live with myself knowing you sacrificed your passions for mine."

I bit my lip in frustration. "Skilled fingers run in the family, I guess."

A moment of awkward silence filled the room until Ryan broke it.

"Actually, you got your knife on you right now?"

I blinked in confusion. "Yeah, why you ask?"

"I kinda wanna see you flipping that thing again, it's been too long since I heard that clack."

"I thought you hated that clack." I jokingly retorted.

"Can't live with em, can't live without em. It's the same with you and my playing."

"Well, can't argue with that." I replied. I used to get so irritated at how much he fucking practiced, but now the silence in our home was deafening. It was a constant reminder he wasn't there anymore.

I pulled the Ex10 balisong out and rubbed my thumb against the milled titanium. Whirling it open in a fancy choker fan, I started manipulating the knife in ways no one else could comprehend. Fanning, laddering, chaplins.…

*Click click clickity clack*

"Shitballs!" I cussed as I missed a finger placement, the blade slicing into my thumb. "Damnit, that spot just healed too! I always mess up on that murnax ladder!"

Ryan raised an eyebrow towards me as I stuck the tip of my thumb in my mouth. "That's where you got your nickname? From some knife trick?"

"Hey, it sounds cool so I opted to take it." I picked up the knife and wiped the blood off with a tissue before setting it back in my pocket. "I've been out of practice lately, school starting and all that."

Ryan was once again strangely silent at my response, he looked as if he wanted to say something.

"Hey, about school." He forced the words out of his mouth despite the obvious discomfort. "I'm probably not gonna make it through the school year."

"...What?"

"You heard me. I'm probably not gonna live through the rest of the school year." He grimaced at his words, lips pursed in a thin line.

My face turned utterly crestfallen. "The hell makes you say that?! You've tanked this shit for six months already!"

"Exactly. My brother countered. "I've been tanking this shit, not in the good way. The reports are worse every month, they say I have until May at most."

"...Do Mom or Dad know about this? Or Andelin?"

"No, you're the first person I've told. I asked the nurses not to mention it cause I wanna tell them personally."

….

A small eternity passed in silence, though before I could weep the entire atmosphere started crumbling. The room was splitting into tiny squares cubes into a white abyss. The sickly wave eventually reached my brother, his body turning to ash and swept away by a chilly breez. Tears were about to fall as I noticed my body also flaking from the bottom up. I stared in awe and dread as my legs simply ceased to exist. Then my torso, followed by my arms, now my head's fading...

My consciousness was rudely jolted awake with a large thump against my back. My eyes focused above to a light blue glow through a white cloth ceiling. I was in the second dimension again, the third plane now a mere memory. The rickety wooden floor prompted me to sit upwards, only for something to gently push me down.

"Hey there, take it easy. You're still pretty injured. Here."

I felt a lid touch my lips followed by a cold tasteless liquid trickling out. Grabbing the pitcher I hastily downed what must've been a whole gallon, having not drunk anything in at least fourteen hours. A soft hand clasped mine, setting a cold metal object on my palm which I recognized as my glasses.

I opened the hinges and set the bifocals on my nose. Whice was sitting next to me with a small smile on her gorgeous face.

"Hey, Whice."

"Hello, Murnax."

"...What time is it?" I asked. "And where are we?"

"It's just past seven in the morning, we're in a wagon riding out of Flemstall."

"That means I was out for, what, eight hours?" I rested a hand on my forehead in exasperation."Jeez, I've passed out more times in the past few days than I have my whole life."

"You were thrashed around pretty hard last night so it can't be helped." She chuckled. "You also gave me one hell of a scare when you passed out back there, I thought you succumbed to your injuries."

"Well as you can see, I'm still alive and kick-ow!" I hissed at the severe throbbing in an attempt to move my foot, as well as my swollen jaw where Dale kicked me. Everything hurt in every kind of way from stinging to aching. Looking at my body I realized my whole torso was wrapped in bandages like a faux corset.

"I said you were still injured." Whice chided. "You got some pretty bad whip lashes and bruises all over your torso, not to mention a few cracked ribs and fibula."

"That bastard Dale." I remarked. "He really didn't pull any punches."

"You mean that incubus I found?" The Musketeer raised an eyebrow. "I think he most definitely did. If he went full force your foot would've been taken clean off."

I gulped at the thought. "Okay, fair point."

"But still, that makes the feats you pulled off even more amazing!" Whice happily exclaimed. "You're just a regular human right now, but you managed to take both him and an Arachne down!"

"A lot of it was just dumb luck." I sighed. "That and it was pretty easy to manipulate their anger into stupid decisions."

"So not a battle of brawn, but wits?" Whice declared mysteriously, hiding her face behind her cape like a vampire.

I chuckled at the sight. "I guess." God it was nice having someone to laugh with. Not trying to capture or rape me was also a nice change of pace.

"How're you doing though?" I questioned. "I remember you had a dagger sticking out your back, that looked pretty awful."

"Tis but a flesh wound!" The Musketeer responded with chivalry, highlighting her bandaged shoulder. Her unwitting Monty Python reference made me crack a grin. She briefly observed our surroundings before lowering her voice. "I'm a Mamono so I heal much faster than a human would."

I ran a hand through my curls. "Must be nice, it's gonna take forever for my wounds to heal."

"Don't worry, the slavers had quite a few healing potions on hand. It's kinda hard to tell the medicine from the aphrodisiacs, but we'll manage."

My eyes drooped in fatigue. "I'm not sure if they'll actually work on me though, being a dimensional-" I abruptly cut myself off. Wasn't smart to throw around my otherworldly status after all.

Whice gave a puzzled look at my words. "Oh riiight, Drifter status. You'll just have to drink as many as we can spare for now until we get to Aubernbeuge. I know some alchemists who can speed up the healing process there."

How did she know? Oh, probably lack of a scent.

"That's good to hear, I hope I'm not turned into their glorified test subject or anything." I half joked.

"Don't worry about it, they're ethical alchemists, trust me!" The Musketeer clasped a hand on my shoulder making me wince in pain. "Ah, sorry. One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"I'd like to give you a little something for your efforts."

Abruptly the mood shifted to something much more heated. Her blue eyes glazed over with infatuation, and the hand previously on my shoulder snaked to my chin to tenderly lift it up. My mind went blank as her bewitching face inched closer, eyes slowly closing and lips parting.

For lack of a better overused analogy, I was completely frozen like a deer in headlights. Unmoving, my mind went completely numb as my cheeks burned hotly. C'mon brain, work here! Now's not the time to freeze up!

"Lady Crescentria, we've arrived in-" A deep voice came from the wagon door. The sudden noise scared the shit out of us both, our foreheads colliding in surprise.

"Agh!"/"Uhn!"

"Puh-, pardon me!" the knight behind blustered as he quickly tried to close the door.

"Actually your timing is-is perfect!" I stammered back, jerking my head away from the Musketeer. "I….need some kind of crutch for my ankle! Could you get one for me?"

"O-, of course sir. Right away." The poor guy averted his gaze and shut the door a little too hard.

"Thanks man…" I sighed in relief. I had to remember that even if she had morals, Whice was still a monstergirl with every intention of getting in my pants.

"Tch!" Whice drew away, folding her arms and puffing her cheeks to a precious pout.

….

"Uh, what are we gonna do in that town you said we're stopping by?" I said, trying to break the tension.

"Hmph. Nothing of importance really, just restocking some supplies and whatnot." she huffed indifferently. Crap, she was mad. Her tone was one of an annoyed child who'd been denied their favorite stuffed animal.

"Wait," I contemplated. "That guy called you Crescentria, are you the Order-"

My voice was cut off by a delicate gloved hand covering my mouth.

"No, I'm not." She whispered, her mood shifting instantly. "Sorry for not saying anything earlier, but they can't find out my true identity, I'm using Alameria Crescentria's name as an alias."

"Oh, makes sense." I responded quietly.

Her brows furrowed in puzzlement. "How do you know who Alameria Crescentria is?"

I responded with some questions of my own. "How did you know my name was Murnax? And why did you tell me your true name?"

"That's…." Whice's lips curled into a conflicted frown, her eyes shifting to the ground. "I need to discuss something important with you."

Aw, crap. That anime shadow thingie's now covering her eyes. That never meant anything good.

"Um, sure. What is it?" I nervously gulped.

She opened her mouth to reply, only for a knock on the door to interrupt her.

"I have your crutch sir!" The man announced loudly, not wanting to walk in on another incident.

"Ok, just leave it by the door." I said absent-mindedly.

"Um, I meant to say this earlier, but we're arriving at Blackburn." He said.

"Weren't we going to Avenbush or whatever?" I asked.

"We're stopping by this town to return some captured men and set up breakfast." Whice explained.

As if on cue my stomach let out the loudest roar in my life, my cheeks growing blazing hot from the display.

"I guess I am pretty hungry…" I mumbled in embarrassment. The more accurate term was famished. The last thing I ate was Tsutsumi's date rape stew which was well over twenty-four hours ago.

"Yeah, I guess we can talk about it after we eat, I want somewhere more private to discuss it anyway."

"Okay" I replied, painfully putting my nujabes shirt and hoodie on. "What are we having by the-hey!" Without warning Whice scooped me up into a bridal carry. "What are you doing?!"

"Even with a crutch you can't hop out the wagon, so it can't be helped." She smirked.

"You still don't have to carry me! Put me down!"

"No can do~"

I gave an irritable sigh and let her carry me out the wagon. She admittedly had a point.

She hopped out and gave me my crutch before setting me on my feet. Looking around, it was another small village on the edge of the forest. Fireflies sparked on and off across the darkened atmosphere paired with countless colors of glowing flora.

"Hey Whice, I had a red guitar and a blowgun with me before I passed out. Did you put it anywhere?"

"Oh, yeah. It's right here." The blonde reached inside the wagon and handed me my belongings.

"Thanks." I said as I slung the guitar and camo tube over my back ignoring the aching.

"Dad! You came back!"

Shouts of joy drew my eyes to women and children flooding out of their huts, near tackling the returning men to the ground. A small boy weeped with joy as his father picked him up and twirled him in the air.

"Yep kiddo, I'm back. All thanks to the Order Hero and fella in the weird shirt."

I couldn't help but let a stupid grin split my face. Despite how cheesy it was I couldn't deny how heartwarming the sight was.

The kid ran up to Whice and I wiping the mist from his eyes. "Thanks for saving my dad, Mister and Missy! I'll never forget what you've done!"

"Don't mention it" I scratched my cheek still bearing that stupid grin. "I'm glad I could bring you guys back together."

"Ditto." Whice concurred, giving the kid a beautiful smile. He immediately lost interest in me and developed stars in his eyes to the blonde.

"Wooow, you're an Order hero? Seriously?"

"Sure am. Chivalrous Musketeer, Alameria Crescentria at your service." Her words were preceded by a polite bow.

As the kid fanboyed over her the rest of the men pulled out multitudes of fresh skinned rabbits for roasting.

Oh, this was gonna be good.

"Aahhh, that hit the spot." I sighed in content. I seriously felt like Luffy right now, the hearty grilled flavor of the rabbit lingering off my tongue.

"Seems like you're done, right?" The musketeer asked. "Let's go discuss that thing now."

My mood dampened at her statement. "Right."

Whice addressed the handful of soldiers eating around us. "Murnax and I are gonna go discuss something in private, we'll probably be back in a few minutes."

She turned to me. "Cmon, there's a clearing I know of up ahead." She gestured with a gloved hand.

"Lucky bastard." One of the Order knights murmured behind my back. "They were about to have a full on snoggin' too before I opened their wagon."

"Really?" another man whispered quietly. "What I'd give to-"

The rest of their conversation faded out as I followed Whice into the forest, the various echoes of nature replacing their nature.

I was anything but lucky. If anything my heart was a massive knot of anxiety. Hopefully this talk would unravel the threads of stress and dread, but that was thinking too idealistically. It'd most likely tighten my soul into an even denser lump of emotions.

"By the way, what kind of Mamono are you?" I curiously asked. She didn't have any beastly features and even carried a human atmosphere, but her far too pretty looks broke that facade of humanity. I had a good guess to what race she was but didn't know for sure.

"I'm a dhampir, born to a Vampire and human husband." Her lips curled into a troubled frown as she twisted her cap to block my view. Crap, might've hit a nerve there. She might be ashamed of her heritage or something.

"Well, it's not like I really care what kind of of monstergirl you are, as long as you don't try and assault me." I awkwardly chuckled. It's a good thing she was a dhampir too, they had the closest mentality to humans as far as Mamono came.

"Must be hard being a man in these times, all the constant rape attempts and such."

"Yeah." I exhaled. "I've only been in this country about two days and I've had plenty of encounters I'd rather forget."

Whice's steps slowed upon arriving at the trail's end. "We're here."

The clearing was similar to the one Tsutsumi camped in, a nice patch of grass and moss covered rocks littering the space. A single fallen log rested in the center, presumably for sitting.

"Let's sit down. There's a lot I gotta dump on you."

As we both rested on the log I put on my best front and gazed at the dhampir.

Time to hear it.

"Ugh, where do I even start with this." Whice groaned, rubbing her temples with her fingers. "I guess I'll start with the current state of the world. A couple hundred years ago there was a massive war between the two forces of the Chief Go-"

"Wait, I already know the basic idea of what's going on." I interjected. "Old Demon lord was defeated, Succubus took power, world's now facing a genocide crisis from sex demons."

Whice's alluring eyes blinked in surprise. "How do you know all that if you're a Drifter?"

"What makes you think I wouldn't know what's going on?" I countered.

"I know you're from another dimension, Earth specifically."

Fuck, didn't consider it might be common knowledge for Drifters to be dimensional aliens.

"...Is that common knowledge around here?" I implored nervously.

"No, most details on Drifters' origins are mere rumors. In fact Drifters are rumors themselves, but I know the truth."

"Oh."

"You still haven't answered my question though. How do you know the state of our world if you're not from here?"

"Uhh...The first Mamono I encountered told me about it."

Double fuck! No way anyone would believe that half assed lie!

Whice gave me a skeptical look, but chose to give me the benefit of the doubt.

"Right then, now that it's cleared up I'll keep going. Your summoning here wasn't an accident."

"...What?"

"You're one of twelve Drifters prophesied to end this conflict during the eleventh hour of the war. Drifters are usually extremely rare to the point of myth, but now one's been dropped in every month since the beginning of the year. That makes you the fourth member to arrive. Whether it ends in peace or ruin, your destiny is to end the war."

"...No, that can't be right…." I muttered.

"It's the truth. The fourth was said to come clad in cherry blossoms bearing the name Murnax. Is your birthday the fourth month of the year?"

"Y-, yeah...April twenty-ninth."

"Were you sent here on the fourth month of the year corresponding to your world?"

"I was…."

All this information was starting to overwhelm me. The shock caused my breath to quicken to unhealthy speeds.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Whice comforted, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I'm right here, calm down. I still have a lot to explain." She took a deep breath before continuing.

"Eight months from now on New Year's Day, Demon Princess Druella is going to launch a full scale invasion on the Order's Capital city, Lescatie. We have to prevent that from happening at all costs."

"...So I have eight months to train to stop it?"

"Precisely. The consequences will be disastrous if Druella succeeds. Countless Order heroes will be corrupted and join her side, all but cementing victory for Lilith."

I completely zoned out from reality trying to process the information. It was something I just….couldn't accept.

"...Are you serious right now?"

"I'm sorry, but I am. I know that all of this is so sudden and-"

"Are you fucking serious right now?! Why?! Why me?! Why the hell do I have to do this?!" Now I was off the deep end, my voice shattered with despair as I hunched forward and ran a hand over my hair.

"Murnax, I know this is a lot to take in, but I promise the burden's not yours alone. There'll be eleven others, even a whole faction supporting you!"

"I'm ripped from my home, expected to fight a war I want no part in, to save a realm I have no connection to. How the fuck am I supposed to accept that?"

"Murnax, please. I understand how you feel, and-"

"No, you don't! You don't have a single damn clue to what I'm feeling right now!"

My sorrow was quickly blooming to anger as I lost my rational side. "I just want to go home! Why the fuck should I care about some random world's problems?!"

"Because you live in it now, dumbass." The dhampir retorted venomously, her patience wearing thin. "Nothing's gonna change that, whether you like it or not. If you have any chance of going back home, it'll be after you defeat the Demon Lord."

That was the last straw. The way she decided my priorities regardless of my own will infuriated me.

"NO!"I abruptly stood up from the log, swiping my arm to emphasize my point. "How dare you think you can just thoughtlessly decide my priorities like that! I have NO obligation to fix this damn place, I'm fucking finding a way out of this shithole and NOTHING ELSE!

"AND JUST LEAVE US ALL HERE TO SUFFER?!"Whice furiously shouted. "How do you think we all feel?! All the pain and trauma we've endured, the anguish of losing our loved ones, all the lives irreversibly ruined!" The Musketeer's patience finally broke from my tantrum. Her raw feelings flooded out as she screamed at me with equal rage.

Seeing her face twisted in anger and sorrow put a dam on my emotions. No, it evaporated them instantly and entirely. Guilt flooded the barren reservoir as I realized the gravity of my mistake, the selfishness of my actions.

Still, this was too much to force on a kid from bumfuck Utah.

My shoulders sagged as I went silent. "Whice….I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I'm just a nobody who arrived here two days ago, not some destined savior. I just...can't accept that responsibility."

"..."

Whice slightly lowered her head, the wide brimmed musketeer hat obstructing her eyes. "You're really willing to just abandon us, to turn your head and say it's not your problem?"

The dhampir slowly stood up and walked past me towards the clearing's exit.

"Whice, I didn't-"

"Follow me." she said emotionlessly. She didn't bother to look back or wait for me when going through the foliage. I leaned on my crutch and reluctantly trailed behind. Silence dominated the whole walk until we finally came back to the village, the two Order soldiers waving at us with shrewd grins.

"Hope you guys didn't get too comfortable…." One of them started to tease before seeing both our deep frowns

"I'll need a horse, Arther." Whice said unceremoniously.

"Uh-, Of course, Lady Crescentria." The knight dropped his joking atmosphere for the sake of professionalism. "May I be informed of where you're going?"

"I'm dropping by Brazenburn with Murnax."

A sneer of disgust lined the man's face upon hearing the name. "Do you know what happened to that town? I strongly advise against traveling there."

"Yes, I know what happened. That's why we're going."

The Knight glanced between Whice and I, his gaze towards me particularly concerned.

"Your wish is my command, M'lady."

The swaying gallop of the horse notably slowed upon the arrival of another small settlement. My face scrunched to an absolutely awful smell, worse than rancid shit from an outhouse. It almost smelled like….burning.

"Jesus Christ, what's that smell?" I pinched my nostrils to block out the unbearable stench.

"I'll show you." Whice said as she slid off the horse. "Cmon."

"Oh god, we're actually going in…." My bitching was ignored as we both walked into the town. There was a distinct lack of life from the cottages. No peasants working or children running unlike Blackburn. Not even the chirping of birds or insects could be heard, presumably to avoid the reeking miasma. Coming upon the village center, laying in the middle was some kind of pitch black mass, unidentifiable from our distance. Limp sticks of the same color jutted awkwardly from the pile in strange angles. Now close enough to make out the details, I realized they weren't sticks.

They were limbs.

I tried to force down my stomach fluids, but had to turn away to vomit at the sight. The black mass was a mound of dead bodies, completely charred and warped from human arson. Demented sunken in faces leered at me, a sense of phantom fear wracking my heart.

"What is this? Why are all these people burned alive?" I rasped in horror.

"Suicide via self-immolation." Whice answered grimly. "A tribe of Amazons were closing in on the village with no time to evacuate, so they resorted to setting their flesh ablaze to save their souls."

"But, why go in such an agonizing way?"

"So they can't be revived into shells of their former selves through demonic energy."

I just couldn't move my eyes from the huge pile. The fact that it was a elaborate two-dimensional art piece made it all the more disgusting, the surrealism more sickening than any kind of real life gore

"This is all wrong…." I stepped back in disgust and shock. "This setting shouldn't be like this…."

"Do you still deny responsibility?" Whice bitterly asked. "Do you still refuse to accept reality, even when it's staring you in the face?"

"I…."

"Things like this are happening daily, Murnax. The Lilith's subjects rape and pillage without consequence, tearing apart more families than you can imagine. The Order is just as corrupt, justifying any and every awful action in the name of their Chief God. We need this conflict to end, we need you."

My shoulders sagged in defeat as I stared at the ground. "I just….don't know what to feel right now."

The dhampir's cold stare didn't change. "I'll give you some time to think it over, gather your thoughts." She gestured to one of the abandoned cottages. "Come back to me when you've made your decision."

I silently nodded and hobbled towards the cottage. Arriving at the entrance, I pushed the door open with a creak. As the door closed I glanced back outside, Whice still distantly looking at me. Looking around the cabin it was actually quite homey. A simple wooden table surrounded by crude chairs in the center, plates of half finished bread and cheese festering on top. An oven made from hardened clay sat to the side, the smell of baked bread slightly blocking the awful stench.

I kicked a chair in frustration, a guttural "ERGH!" emitting from my throat. How was I supposed to accept this? My head and heart were at war with each other, tearing me apart. My rational side was still in rejection, claiming that I had no obligation. I wanted to pretend that none of this existed just as Whice said, but she forced me to stare the ugly truth in the face. My irrational side felt guilt. Shame. Responsibility.

I guess Dad did raise a coward.

I numbly pulled out a chair and sat down, slinging the guitar on my back into playing position. It was pretty roughed up from Dale's face bash, I prayed the thing was at least still playable. Strumming an E chord was met by a horrendous array of notes assaulting my eardrums.

Yikes….Dale's hit must've offed the strings pretty hard.

I started humming notes in correspondence to the guitar's, twisting the pegs to match my voice. After all six strings were tuned to my perfect pitch, I began strumming the opening to Rivers Bend. Without delay pedals it paled in comparison to the dreamy reverb of the original, but was still a breathtaking sound nonetheless. A nostalgic smile lined my face as I added the twangy melody in to make the song whole. This was something I desperately needed, almost therapeutic in nature. The echoey tune swept my mind from reality into rose-tinted memories of home. What I'd give to play in the Beischlein Five again, We always argued over what tunes t-

"Try and break free and you're dead. It's no use yelling."

A cold dagger pressed against my throat, making me freeze. I strained my eyes to try and identify the person behind me, but it was no use. The voice was childish and unmistakably squeaky.

"I set up a soundproof barrier around the cottage, so Blondie won't hear a thing!" the last part was specifically shouted towards the window. "You put on quite the show last night at the village, thanks to you and that bimbo bitch everything's ruined!"

I tried my best to not give in to panic. "What do you want Shaula?"

"Oh you know exactly what I want, cutie." Her voice whispered in my ear. "You remember my name too! I'm flattered."

I tried and failed miserably to steel my voice. "You, you won't kill me, it's against your nature."

"You're right. I won't kill you…." The blade slowly pushed up under my neck, forcing my head to crane upwards.

"But if you resist too much you'll end up slitting your own throat."

A disgusting lick of lust ran along my cheek as primal fear started overtaking my mind. The dagger limited me to an ever slight whisper, if I raised my voice my jowls would come down over the edge.

I grit my teeth in despair. "Please….please don't rape me….I'll do anything just please let me go. Please."

"Ooh, I just love it when they squirm!" Shaula replied. "You're special and I've wanted to fuck you so badly, but Bimbo Bitch was guarding you every damn minute. But now that that's no longer a problem, I can finally cement you as my male!"

Shaula violently shoved me off the chair and onto the floor, forcing me against the wall. ShitshitSHIT she's removing my clothes! A panic attack surfaced as I flashed back to Tsutsumi, ignored the painful aching in my ankle and furiously thrashing against her grip.

"NonoNO GETOFFME-GETOFF! STO-"

My voice and thrashing were cut off by her tail closing around my neck. Animalistic fear took over as my airway was cut off, my windpipe squeezed to its limits. I reached up and desperately clawed at the appendage only to be choked tighter.

"Ah-, ah-, ahh..." The rodent teased. "Just accept it. Once you're an incubus I'll eventually have enough power to rival a Lilim! Stop fighting it and release your seed into me already!"

Please please PLEASE! WHICE, SOMEONE ANYONE FORTHELOVEOFGOD SAVE ME PLEASE!

'SSHING!'

A barely perceivable blur streaked in front of us. Shaula's words collapsed in her throat as her movements halted to a stop, her insane smile fading to silent anguish and surprise before collapsing to the side.

"Murnax! Are you okay?"

My mind was delayed from reality, every second a three second span. I slowly peered up to my savior Whice, my pathetic form still as ice. We just stared at each other for a small eternity until my brain caught up with the present.

'plip'

A single tear gently fell from my face onto the floor. It was replaced by others as clear streaks of liquid flowed down my cheeks. The first sniffle broke the silence, followed by progressively louder whimpers as I mentally collapsed. I didn't just cry, I bawled. I bawled my heart out in a sobbing fit that'd make even an infant jealous.Pants down to my knees and snot dribbling from my nose highlighted my miserable state.

"Hey...C'mere..." Whice softly comforted. She crouched down and wrapped me in a gentle embrace, soft as snow but warm as sunlight. I returned her hug as she selflessly cradled me in her shoulder, completely ignoring the icky fluids on my face. I looked pathetic, I was pathetic. But at that moment I didn't care. All the stress and suppressed anxiety finally broke me. The longing for my family, the near rape experiences, the revelation of my destiny, all of it.

"Shhh….shhh…." Whice repeated over and over, gingerly stroking the back of my head. "S'okay….I'm here…."

"Damn it….Damn it all…." I quietly sobbed between sniffles. Her hug grew even tighter as my hands trembled against her back. We stayed like this for an amount of time I'm too embarrassed to admit, but Mother of God it was what I needed right now more than anything. I didn't need the nostalgia of music, or the joy of old memories….

I just needed an embrace.