Chapter 12

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"Achoo!"

"Want me to put a little more distance between us?"

"Yes please." I said with a sniff. If the foot pain doesn't kill me, my allergies certainly will….

Whice walked a little further ahead as I pulled out my handkerchief and blew for the thousandth time. Resting on my companion's shoulders was a large tuft of fur lining her cape's collar, or at least it appeared that way from the back. In reality a miniature lion of a cat was draped around her neck like a scarf. We decided to keep Tsutsumi tied up in her animal form so she couldn't morph back at risk of breaking her wrists and ankles. Even in her captive state, the Maine Coon looked back to me and stuck her tongue out in a playful manner.

Resist the cuteness! I'm not falling for your adorable charms twice you feline temptress!

"Jeez, for a cat you're surprisingly heavy." Whice grumbled, eliciting an irritated meow from the animal. "Oh? Or would rather I called you fat?"

The cat hissed and whapped it's tail in her face a couple times.

"Pft, get that stupid feather duster out of my face!" She instinctively grabbed the tail to stop it. Bad idea.

"Myowww!"

"Ow! How dare you bite me you bitch!"

The dhampir ripped the cat from her shoulders bearing a red plus shaped vein on her forehead, holding it at arms length to avoid the binded paws swiping at her like a weed whacker. It even emitted a little scuttlescuttle sound reminiscent of Mr. Krabs.

Anime physics were still just as freaky in person as they were day one.

"Guys, stop-"

*rip*

Everyone paused when Tsutsumi's claws snagged the collar of Whice's cape, the pair looking down then back to each other in surprise. Whice gave a tug.

No detach.

Another tug.

Still stuck.

"Rrgh, let go you stupid furball!" The short-haired blonde relentlessly tried to pry her off, the feline meowing something along the lines of: 'I'm trying!'

I ran up to the two and grabbed the animal, pulling hard. Fortunately after an especially strained tug I managed to wrench Tsutsumi off.

Unfortunately, the momentum caused me to stumble back with a flabbergasted cat in my hands.

"Wo-woah!" I blundered back on the increasingly steep ground, losing my balance and rolling down a slanted grass hill clutching the Maine Coon tight in my arms.

For once I didn't hit a tree and simply rolled to a stop on my back. In a slight daze, the blue sky filled my vision for a moment when a tiny sandpaper feeling rubbed my chin. Looking down revealed a very happy kitty on my chest purring and rubbing my neck.

"Nyaa-ACK!"

Hah? Where'd she go? And why's there a fist in her place?

"Murnax! You okay?" I winced from the voice a little too close to my ear as a pair of blue eyes jumped in front of me.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm fine." I had to avert my eyes to prevent staring at the….other pair of objects swaying hypnotically in front of me. I swear they got their own gravitational pull!

Whice noticed where I was looking, her glossy lips curling into a devil's smile as she learned forward. "You sure? You seem kinda antsy about something…."

"I-, I'm fine, okay?!" I desperately tried to think of something, anything to distract myself from the impossibly soft sensation on my ribs. Damnit, this fanservice scenario was so cliched it hurt.

"Grrrr…."

A low growl caught our attention to our captive laying on it's side snarling at Whice.

"What? This is all your fault in the first place, yknow that?"

A red plus vein popped on the cat's head this time as she squabbled unintelligibly.

Whice rolled her eyes at the feline. "Yeah yeah, quit your whining. We needa be in Dragonia in three weeks, we don't have all..." She looked at something behind the feline. "day."

I followed her gaze to see a large stone temple blending into the forest's edge. Its walls were covered in moss and vines, an ominous set of stairs leading up to a main platform with two pillars and a gaping entrance between, the silence from the pitch black hole screamed paranoia fuel.

"We're here." Whice said ominously, kneeling up from her spot.

I sat up as well, Tsutsumi kicked herself around and became awestruck at the sight.

"Are we sure this is the right place?"

"It's gotta be, look at the engravings there." The musketeer pointed to the top of the entrance harboring strange germanic style runes.

"I….can't read that."

"Oh, right. It says: 'Here layeth the Tomb of Nazarick, domain of Claudette Wickes. Abandon thy humanity ye who dare enter.'"

I gulped at the last statement. "I guess this is the right place then."

"Yep. Let's get Furball sorted out then we'll enter."

I cut the twine binding Tsutsumi's paws with my balisong and gave her the clear to transform, at swordpoint from my friend of course. Even though I've seen the change once before I had to avert my eyes, it was still incredibly freaky. The sickening sounds of bones shifting and hair de-sprouting into the follicles were two things that particularly stuck to mind.

Standing in the cat's place was a beautiful vixen stretching out her petite figure. "Mhmn, it's nice to be in my monster form again." She purred while straightening both tails in satisfying pops.

Whice snorted. "Uhuh, just don't try anything funny. Could you get the rune dust Murnax?"

"Yeah." I replied while fishing through my backpack.

Tsutsumi blinked in confusion. "Why do we need rune dust right now?"

"To bar you in of course."

Another puzzled blink. "Hueh?! You mean you're not letting me come?!"

"Of course not, what'd you expect?" I huffed as I found the pouch of silver glitter and pocketed a few vials of Doppio's medicine. "You really think we'll just take you down there with us?"

Tsutsumi folded her arms with a cute pout. "What I think is you're severely underestimating that Lich."

"And what I think is you're just tryin' to get the drop on us." Whice interjected. "There'll be hordes of undead down there, last thing I need is a conniving furball stealing Murnax from under my nose."

"For the last time that's not my intention!" Tsutsumi stomped her foot and straightened her tails at the accusation. "Liches are extremely powerful sorcerers, you'll need any and all possible assistance if you're going to raid one's domain!"

"We still can't trust you." I retorted while sprinkling the dust in a sizable circle around her.

"You also forget that Mr. Cynical's very anti-magic." Whice added. "Anything she throws at him will just feel like a static shock."

"That doesn't mean she can't physically overpower him!"

The dhampir jabbed her thumb at herself with a confident grin. "That's what I'm here for. She won't even get close to touching him."

"But-"

"Aight, circle's done." I announced while tying the pouch shut. "I set it up so the bubble will deactivate in sixteen hours in case we don't come back."

Whice playfully slugged my arm. "Quit jokin' around, Of course we'll come back!"

"Let's hope so." I smiled at my friend's enthusiasm. We sparked the dust and activated the technicolor shield around our prisoner still crossing her arms with puffed out cheeks.

"You ready?" Whice asked with a thumbs up.

"Not at all." I said flatly while extending and collapsing my bostaff to check the function. "But I don't think I ever will be."

"Aw c'mon, you're more resourceful than you give yourself credit for." She gave my shoulder a reassuring shake. "You'll be fine."

"Right…." We started walking to the entrance until Tsutsumi called out again.

"Murnax!"

"I told you that we're not-"

"Be careful."

She had a cute look of concern on her face, but also one of hardened determination. I looked at her for a few seconds before nodding. "I will."

"Cmon, let's go already!" The Musketeer snatched my hand and pulled me along to a sprint.

"Hey hey slow down! Aren't you a little too excited for this?"

"I've always wanted to fight a lich, so I'm ecstatic!"

I rolled my eyes at her warrior mindset. We rushed up the stairs to the main platform, stopping at the entrance to a previously unseen sign.

"Um, what does it say?"

The blonde scanned the runes. "'Welcome to the tomb of Nazarick, to all adventurers I bid thee welcome! Especially men!'"

"Ah….You think she'd be a little more subtle."

"Maybe that shows her desperation." The dhampir snickered. She started pulling me to the entrance again before I halted us.

"One last thing."

"Whaat."

"What exactly are we supposed to be looking for? For my weapon, I mean."

She blinked at my question. "No idea, but you'll know it when you see it."

"Really?"

"Mm. It'll be a gut feeling."

"Uh, okay." I dumbly replied as she pulled me through the dark entrance. Whice drew her fencer and made it shine a brilliant white as I pulled out a flashlight and clicked it on.

"Woah, what's that?" She eyed the modern light curiously. "That's brighter than any lamp I've ever seen."

"It's called a flashlight, I'll tell you about it later when I'm not nervous as hell." I replied while scanning the dark stone pillars.

"Right." Whice eyed the floor intensely. "Watch for any uneven tiles, this place is probably filled with booby-"

*chic/"AAHHH!"

"Murnax!"

A pair of trap doors under me slid open and sent me tumbling into the darkness below. Falling between two narrow walls, I stuck my arm up and extended my bostaff horizontally in hopes of catching the sides.

Surprisingly the sound of metal scraping stone didn't come, instead it seemingly pushed something out. My descent slowed with various objects falling off the walls and hitting me before my staff abruptly hooked something, stopping the fall and leaving me hanging.

"Murnax! You okay?!" The Musketeer hollered from above.

"Yeah, I am!" I hollered through shocked breaths. Thank God for Whice's training, I wouldn't have been able to hold on otherwise. Looking down there was a good story between me and the floor, if I reacted a hair later bones would've definitely been fractured. My flashlight was rolling back and forth on the floor illuminating the walls to be expansive bookshelves.

"Hold on, I'll get the rope down!!"

"Okay!"

I collapsed my staff and fell to the ground, grunting from the harsh landing. Walking over I picked up my flashlight and observed the area, it was a long, narrow hallway of some ancient library, each end breaking off to another in a complex maze.

Ok, don't panic. You'll just climb out of here and be-

Scraaape...scraaape…..

My heart froze at the sound of something dragging against stone. It was barely noticeable, but the faint noise only fueled the growing pit of dread in my stomach. Breaking out in a cold sweat, I craned my neck and slowly shined my flashlight to the end of the hall.

Oh God no.

A bony hand was pulling itself across the floor. Nothing else, just a dismembered hand of a skeleton crawling along the tiles like some demented puppet.

"Whice, there's something down here!"

"Hold on, it's almost secured!"

"Hurry!"

Staggered footsteps became apparent from the same direction as the hand. I drew my staff and braced it in a defensive position, but nothing could prepare me for what I saw next.

Shambling into view was a terribly beautiful girl with a strange pale green ectoplasm on her bones like translucent flesh. Her right arm and left leg were exclusively bone which created an asymmetrical look, but what freaked me out the most was her head. Girlish pigtails and a cute fringe complimented her flawless anime face, but you could see the skull under the 'skin', like a twisted inversion of a Cinco de Mayo mask lacking any color and oozing surrealist horror.

"There…...it is……." She rasped, shuffling towards the hand in classic zombie fashion and picking it up to attach it to her forearm.

She rotated her wrist and clasped her hand with an admittedly cute smile, but that didn't assauge my fear in the slightest. A mental relapse was imminent from the Lovecraftian sight, It shouldn't exist, couldn't exist, yet she was standing right in front of me.

The corpse finally noticed my presence, creaking her head towards me like a marionette.

"Male……"

I took a step back.

"Male……" Oh shit she'sstaggeringtowardsmewhatdoIdo-

"Murnax!"

A long cord dropped in the corner of my eye with a faint thud, which I snatched and began to climb like mad hell. Fuck the flashlight, fuck my weapon, my free will ain't worth this bull-

SHIT!

Cold bony fingers clenched around my ankle almost to the point of bruising and tugged hard. This undead fucker was trying to pull me down.

"Wait……."

"Let go of me you crazy bitch!" I didn't dare attempt to release a hand for my staff at risk of her winning the tugfest, so I kicked like a madman trying to get her off. She even started scaling the rope trying to grab my other leg and near-succeeded until I reared it back.

"I said let go!"

One especially hard kick managed to break her arm off the shoulder, cueing a hard thump to the floor.

"Owww…….."

Before she could get up and start climbing again I began cutting the rope under my hand with my balisong, sawing through the final fibers before she could latch on.

*Pant* *Pant* *Pant*

Despite my adrenaline rush the wheezing lightened a bit once it was clear she couldn't touch me. The skeleton arm was still dangling from my ankle but now it was effectively useless.

"Mean husband……." The skeleton pouted at me while fruitlessly jumping at my feet.

"Fuck you Skeletor!" I snapped while trying to shake off her remaining arm. "Go find someone else to bone!"

I paused and would've facepalmed were I not hanging on for my virginity and free will.

"Murnax!" Whice shouted from above. "I'm pulling you up but keep climbing!"

"Right!" I didn't notice in my frenzy, but I was already a fair ways above the ground and steadily rising. A smile formed on her face in the distance, to which I grinned back in relief.

That's when everything went to hell.

A loud smash followed by a blur of reddish brown tackled my friend out of view, dropping the rope and me by proxy. I slid down a few inches against my will as the rope snapped taut but tightened my grip and held firm.

"Whice! Whice!" I grimaced from the rope burn. "I'm coming up-"

*SLAM!*

The trap door violently shut, severing the rope and sending me tumbling again. This time there was no scream, I was too shocked and the fall too fast to register what had happened.

"Aghn!"

The rough landing on my back knocked the wind out my lungs in a pathetic wheeze. I briefly layed there, stunned from both the impact and nasty turn of events.

"Peekaboo.….."

I didn't stay there for long when a pair of red dots leered over me in the dark. I reflexively tried to shoot up only to be forced down by cold flesh and bone.

"NONONO-GET OFF!" My violent thrashing was cut short by the skeleton pinning my wrists against the tiles. Her face came mere inches from mine, a translucent tongue snaked out towards my mouth dripping ectoplasm on my glasses, but in a last ditch effort I scrunched my face and jerked my head up hard,

*PUMF!/ "Owww-!"

My headbutt momentarily loosened her grip, using that chance I shoved her off and scrambled to my feet to rush past her and snatch my flashlight, taking off in a random hallway.

Fuck that! Why do we always have to get separated? I guess the protagonist can't have a simple solution for fucking once, can he!

"Hehehehehe….."

I skidded to a stop at the cacophony of whispering giggles wafting past me in a chilly breeze. Frantically shining my flashlight around showed numerous stone coffins lined like chapel benches around me. Bad place, very bad place, time to dip-

*krk*

I jumped and trained my flashlight on the source of the noise. Another still coffin.

*krk*

The tomb's lid jumped. Another loud noise came from behind, then another, until multiple thuds echoed from the coffin lids hitting the floor. The undead were waking up.

Wasting no more time I doubled back the way I came as low moans defiled the quiet atmosphere, their alluring nature making it all the more disturbing. Wait, why is it coming from both ways….

Fuck me.

I made an abrupt halt again to see a grey figure shuffle into view at the end of the hall.

Then two.

Then five.

I lost count at sixteen.

"You gotta be joking!" I turned tail and bolted from the horde of undead chasing me, their giggles echoing through the halls. Why'd they all show up now?! Are they trying to corner-

!!!

I barely ducked in time under a pair of ghostly arms trying to grab me, near losing my balance. Glancing back revealed a glowing phantom through the bookshelf leering at me with a lewd smile, many other apparitions materializing through the floors and walls.

The situation has gone from bad to worse, I'll be caught in a pincer attack if I don't do-

"Husband~!"

The same skeleton from before leapt from the dark and shoved me against a bookshelf, pressing her freezing body against mine.

"Leave me alone you freak!" I shouted hysterically while trying to draw my staff. Before she could pin my wrists again I shoved the metal stick under her chin and concentrated a burst of energy, extending the pole outwards for a harsh uppercut.

"Ahn!" She stumbled back in surprise, cupping her chin in agony before pouting back at me. "Too rough-"

I didn't let her finish and swung the baton at her face full force, snapping it off the shoulders.

"Meanieeee-!" the head wailed as it flew overhead the shelves and out of view. The body wandered aimlessly until I shoved it between some books, unable to escape from its confines. No longer in immediate danger I was made keenly aware of a damp spot on my thigh, it was icky and cold….

I wanted to hurl from the realization.

I was already exhausted with burning lungs, wanting nothing more than to slide down against the wall and rest, but the encroaching groans told me I didn't have that luxury. Hordes of undead shambled from both sides, their jeers and groans growing louder in celebration.

Is this it? Am I gonna become a slave here for all eternity? Please no, nonono…..

That's when I noticed the skeleton body between the books trying to pull them out in an attempt to free itself. Watching it slowly work it's way up the texts gave me an idea.

"Cmon cmon…." I started digging out books from their shelves like there was no tomorrow, attempting to clear a decent climb path. As I started scaling the bookshelf the corpses started limping faster towards me, their moans becoming frantic pleas.

It's working! Hurry hurry hurry-!

I hoisted myself on top of the bookshelf just in time as a hand tapped my foot, narrowly missing the mark. I peered over and jumped back at a swiping hand, they're already almost here!

I ran across the top of the maze trying to escape my pursuers, reaching a circular intersection of bookshelves splitting off to different hallways. Corpses were shambling from every corridor, including the horde that managed to follow me up.

I glanced back between the undead behind and below me, running a hand through my hair. What do I do? If I jumped down and somehow didn't receive grievous injury I'd still be cornered, but I can't just stay here either!

"Woa-fuck!" I freaked out when an especially heavy step wobbled the bookshelf and almost toppled me off. I was at the edge of the runway, and these things weren't designed for sprinting. They were too narrow and unstable.

Unstable.

A plan was beginning to form in my mind, or at least a half baked excuse for one. I searched for the line indicating two separate bookshelves and extended my staff, wrenching it in the crevice as far as it would go. Once that was done I gave the pole an experimental tug to gauge the strength needed, the bookshelf didn't shift too much but noticeably so. I could do this.

"All right you lifeless bastards, hope you're light on your feet." I started to pull back my staff with all my might causing the bookshelf to wobble. A few zombies and skeletons lost their balance and fell off the platform, but that wasn't good enough, I was gonna topple this even if it killed me.

After wrenching the towering shelf out to a sufficient angle, I steadied myself and gave the side a hard kick. The undead adept enough to balance clung to the edge of the wall as it fell against the other shelf, crushing them between like a mousetrap. felt myself grin at the numerous non-sexual moans of pain, but that confidence turned to panic when I realized I was tilting as well.

"Shitshitshit-!" I leapt off the faltering bookrack and caught the corner of another on the opposite end. The shelves around the intersection were falling like giant dominoes, pinning the rest of those poor corpses under endless novels and texts.

Aaand it's almost at my shelf.

I paled and shifted out of the way as much as possible for the inevitable impact, not wanting to fall and break my legs. When the shelf hit the ledge it started leaning, gradually tipping over before bracing a hard shudder from the other side.

Leaning….leaning….

Now!

I blindly leapt from the falling bookrack to the floor, my hope was that it lowered me enough to where I wouldn't shatter anything.

*THUD!/ "AUGH!"

My own groans joined the undead pinned under the tomes as I clutched my ankles in pain. Nothing seemed bent out of shape and I didn't hear any cracks on landing, but the throbbing still hurt like a bitch. Definitely both sprained.

Looking around, the circle of fallen shelves had pinned most corpses and barricaded the rest, but that wouldn't hold them forever. Fishing out one of Doppio's potions from my pocket I downed the disgusting liquid and dropped the vial without care, I had to ease the pain to gather my wits.

"You forgot about us, cutie~"

My blood ran cold from the ethereal voice to my left. A hyper-sexualized mockery of a ghost floated through the walls joined by many others swaying towards me from all directions, freaky perverted smiles defiling their otherwise gorgeous features.

"That wasn't very nice of you to drop bookshelves on my friends, Mistress Claudette won't be happy from that."

"Leave me alone." I spat, trying to crawl back.

"What was that honey?"

"I said leave me alone-ngh!"

"Oh my, it seems your feet are injured, flesh and bone is so tedious and fragile. Not to worry, some demonic energy will heal you in no time flat."

"I don't need your shitty sex magic." I hissed. This is it, I'm fucked! Absolutley fucked!

*crack*

We both paused at the concerning noise which came from below.

*crack*

"Oh shi-"

The circular floor collapsed under me as I fell for the third time into a dark abyss. I had no idea what Whice's situation was like, nor any clue to where my weapon was. This has gone from worse to disastrous.

I just hope she's okay.

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Holy shit, this chapter was challenging to write. I was stuck for the longest time on how to make it tense and interesting, so I hope this one delivered. I'm prpbaby gonna spend some time improving the earlier chapters cause when I look at them I cringe super hard, so it'll most likely be a while before the next update. On the flip side there's another new fanfiction I'll post either next weekend or the weekend after, so I'm hyped for that.

Thank you all for reading and sticking with my shitty story!