I did not bother with people's (like Snape) descriptions, as they are known well enough. (I also did not bother to write this well because I was so anxious to get to the sorting. Oops.)

I handed my acceptance letter to the waiting barn owl in front me, and rushed back into the house before Aunt Petunia noticed I was missing. Would it work?

I woke up early the next morning. Had they gotten my letter? Would Hagrid or Snape or McGonagall or Dumbledore come to take me to Diagon Alley?

I didn't get my answer until late morning, when as the sun crept closer and closer to high noon, someone rapped sharply at the door. My escort was here!

I would have rushed out to answer the door myself, but since I want cooking or doing chores, I was locked up in my cupboard.

Aunt Petunia, from the sound of the heels click-clacking past me, was opening the door.

"You!" She shrieked.

"Me." A dry male voice agreed. Snape? "Where is the boy?"

"I- I- get out of my house!"

"Give me the boy, Petunia, and I will."

"He didn't get a letter! You have no right to be here!"

"Then what is this?" Presumably, he showed her my reply.

Dҽαɾ Mιʂʂ MƈGσɳαɠαʅʅ,

Cαɳ ყσυ ρʅҽαʂҽ ʂҽɳԃ ʂσɱҽσɳҽ ƚσ ƚαƙҽ ɱҽ ƚσ ɠҽƚ ɱყ ʂƈԋσσʅ ʂυρρʅιҽʂ? I ԃσɳ'ƚ ƙɳσɯ ԋσɯ ƚσ ɠҽƚ ƚσ ɯԋҽɾҽ I ƈσυʅԃ ρυɾƈԋαʂҽ ƚԋҽɱ. Yσυ ʂҽҽ, I ԃιԃɳ'ƚ ƙɳσɯ I ɯαʂ α ɯιȥαɾԃ υɳƚιʅ I ɠσƚ ɱყ ʅҽƚƚҽɾ.

Tԋαɳƙʂ,

Hαɾɾყ Pσƚƚҽɾ

Simple, to the point, and would possibly infuriate Minnie that I didn't know until now. It certainly wasn't my best work, but work it did.

Aunt Petunia and her loud heels rushed towards my cupboard, unlatched the lock, threw open the door, and threw the letter at me. I blinked at the sudden light.

"What is this!?" She screeched.

"My reply to my acceptance letter?" I phrased it like a question.

"But you didn't get one!"

"Obviously, Tuney, he did. Now, we should be off to get his supplies."

Snape (I was right!) appeared next to Aunt Petunia only long enough to dramatically swish away like he expected me to follow him. Hmph. Gotta learn how to do that. If I have to wear robes, I'm at least going to have fun with it.

Aunt Petunia scurried after Snape, and I followed to the front entrance way.

Her glanced down at me for the first time. "Mr. Potter, what are you wearing?"

I glanced down at the shabby grey shirt, jeans, and sneakers I was wearing. "Dudley's hand-me-downs. Freaks like me don't get new clothes," I paused to let that sink in. "Who are you, sir?"

"I am Professor Snape. I will be your potions instructor at Hogwarts." He looked slightly displeased that I hadn't known about being a wizard. "Mr. Potter, do you know how your parents died?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "They were useless drunks who died in a car crash. Aunt Petunia always makes sure to remind me."

He glared not so subtly at Aunt Petunia. "Why don't you go get your things while I talk to your aunt?"

I nodded, and ran to my cupboard to get my meager belongings. Some notebooks containing all the details I was sure had been the books and not fanfiction, a few pens and pencils, a spare change of clothes.

Whatever Professor Snape had said had convinced Petunia to let me go, judging from the look on her face as she shooed us out the door.

"Don't come back here again!" She called after Snape, and slammed the door.

Diagon Alley was as weird as I expected, and then some. A stack of cauldrons stood nearby, and a woman outside an apothecary was complaining about the price of dragon liver as Snape dragged me to along. Clearly, he wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible.

Finally he stopped in front of white building that dwarfed all the others. A goblin stood outside the bronze doors, wearing a gold and red uniform.

"Gringotts, Mr. Potter. We will access your fault here, then buy your school supplies," Snape said as we walked by the goblin, who bowed as we passed.

Now we faced a second silver set of doors, engraved with a warning.

Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed,

For those who take but do not earn

Must pay dearly in their turn.

So if you seek beneath our floors

A treasure that was never yours,

Thief, you have been warned, beware

Of finding more than treasure there.

How nice.

A pair of goblins bowed as we entered the marble hall. About a hundred goblins sat behind a counter, writing in ledgers, weighing coins, examining precious stones, and other banking things. More doors than you could count led out of the hall, and more goblins were leading people in and out. We headed for the counter.

Snape whooshed up, and laid a small golden key on the counter. "We have come to access Mr. Potter's vault."

The goblin looked at the key. "That seems to be in order. I will have someone take you to the vault. Griphook!"

Griphook led us toward one of the doors. It opened, not to more marble, but to a tunnel lit with torches and with railroad tracks. Griphook whistled, and a cart came diving up the sharply sloped hill. We crammed inside.

It was impossible to keep track of where we were going. We plunged past a passage with a burst of fire at the end, past an underground lake, until we hurtled back into darkness, before, finally, we stopped in front of a small door.

As Griphook unlocked the door, releasing a cloud of green smoke, Snape shoved a bag at me. "Gold is galleons, seventeen silver sickles to a galleon, twenty-nine bronze knuts to a sickle. Fill up the bag, that should be enough for the next few years."

So, I was just supposed to do this by myself? Sure, he looked a bit green, but I didn't know anything! I glanced at the piles of gold and silver, jewelry, and books. I was supposed to navigate that myself?

I walked to the nearest pile of jewelry and picked up a pair of screw on earrings. They had those in the wizarding world?

I screwed them on, blue sapphires set into dangling silver snowflake patterns. I'm weak for pretty things, go away.

I quickly filled up the bag before I could find something else.

I managed to get the key before Griphook could give it to the still queasy looking Snape, who knows how much I would need with all that I was buying?

I sprinted toward the nearest shop, a Madam Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions, before Snape could recover from the return cart ride back. Canon!Harry might have been fine with Snape lurking around during his classes, I might have been, but I did not want him lurking while I shopped.

I pushed open the door. The shop was a wizarding equivalent of a beauty shop. Potions for wart removal, glossy hair, and longer eyelashes, stands with nail care potions. A middle aged witch stood behind a counter.

"Miss?" I asked. "Do you have any potions to grow hair and to change the color?"

She blinked at me in surprise; there probably weren't many boys asking her questions like that, before smiling at me. "Yes, dear, right this way." She led me over to a purple stand. "This one," She handed me a small green bottle, "will grow your hair out. You'll have to trim it to the desired length. What colour would you like, and do you want the color to be temporary, or to permanently change it? "

"Red, and temporary, please. "

She handed me a red bottle and a purple one this time. "The purple will take the color back out, if you don't want to wait. Anything else, dear?"

I grabbed a few more of the red and purple bottles. "No, this is it."

After I paid for the potions, I found a dark corner in between the shops. I uncapped the green bottle and drank its contents.

My scalp itched as my hair grew down to my waist. When I was sure it had stopped growing, I chugged down the other potion. I grabbed a lock of hair and watched it turn a bright red.

Nobody expected a Harry Potter with red hair, did they?

Ok, next on the list. Robes or pets?

Who am I kidding, I'm going to get an owl first.

As I pushed open the door, a cacophony of sounds greeted me. Owls hooted, snakes hissed, cats yowled. It was dark place, smelling of animals for good reason. Cats roamed around freely, and owls fluttered their wings. Snakes slithered around in tanks in a back corner, while the cats stayed mainly away from the owls on the left.

Don't go pet the cats, don't go pet the cats...

I picked up a small, black kitten. She? He? She let me without complaint and purred softly when I stroked her fur.

... I'm keeping her.

I headed to the owls before I could somehow adopt another cat. There, Hedwig waited.

I found her quickly. She was snowy white; not heard to miss.

"Hello, pretty girl," I whispered as I stroked her feathers. "It's nice to meet you."

Surprisingly enough, Snape wasn't that angry when he found me. Maybe because I had already finished my shopping and he didn't have to help me, or because he was good at hiding it. Instead of looking for me like any responsible adult would, he left me to fend for myself while he set up a room for me at the Leaky Cauldron.

Either way, I wouldn't be going back to the Dursleys any time soon.

I spent the rest of my time at Diagon Alley alternating between getting textbooks for all seven years at Hogwarts, ancient runes, and divination, so I could study and not look like a complete idiot (ok, maybe getting books six years before I would need them was overdoing it, but you could never be too prepared!), practicing spells while I wasn't under the Trace (note to self; attempt to avoid that by not having it on the train), stalking Madam Malkin's under the guise of getting a new wardrobe to look for Draco (I didn't find him), bonding with Hedwig and Blackout, sending a letter to Remus (and not getting a reply), and practicing my wand knitting, as one could never have too many magic scarves.

All in all, it was a fairly uneventful month. The most notable event was when my scarf caught on fire and didn't burn (which was probably a good thing, because that one was the one I had worked hardest on and I probably would've assaulted the fire if it burned).

Finally, the first of September rolled around, leaving me with on Kong's Cross Station with nothing but my book filled (and thankfully bigger on the inside) trunk, my owl, cat, and overprotective snake.

Hogwarts, here I come!

Well, I said it was bad. Now excuse me while I avoid writing the next chapter.

I babes pill up on my profile what house you think Hparty should be in! Please vote!

I... Skewed the timeline up. I completely skipped one chapter, took a knife to another, and now I am very confused. We're about a week ahead of schedule, and... Ack. This whole writing thing is hard. I had to pull up all my nonexistent knowledge on how Snape talked, had to figure out how the hell I was supposed to disguise Harry, and the necessary things needed.
Sue me, I like pretty things, and literally every time in fics when Harry is allowed to mess around alone in his vault he gets a fancy ring, but I wanted earrings.
Y'all really want Hufflepuff!Harry, that's the only house i see in the comments.