Plagg arrived at school on foot, which startled several people.

Of course, his choice of dress could have influenced that as well.

"Dude, what are you wearing? And…did you walk to school?"

Plagg held out a second coffee to Nino. "Yep. And as for what I'm wearing, I picked what I thought would make my father the angriest."

"Did it?"

Plagg turned around. "I'm not bleeding am I? I had to break a window to get out of the house."

"Dude!"

"So am I bleeding or what?"

"N-no, you're not. But what's gotten into you? You usually fold like a paper crane when it comes to your dad."

"Ooh, nice analogy. I'm usually pretty partial to Jello left out on the counter at room temperature, when it gets all melty and chunky."

Nino blinked. "I repeat, what's gotten into you?"

"Just tired of being a doormat."

Nino gave a little punch to his shoulder. "Hell yeah, stick it to the man!"

"But my dad's not the only problem I'm trying to fix."

"Oh?"

"You know Lila's a pathological liar, right? And that she's been sexually harassing me for the better part of a year?"

"WHAT?!" Nino shouted.

"Yeah, she's really good at manipulating people to get what she wants. Like how she got herself invited to my photoshoots. Don't know how that happened but it's super unprofessional. Also, she got Marinette expelled. Remember when she said Marinette pushed her down the stairs and garbage? Total lies. She only backed out of it when I threatened our 'friendship'."

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?! Lila's been babysitting Chris! And Ella and Etta! She said she was a certified babysitter!"

"I mean, Marinette's been telling everyone she's a liar for a while. So…"

"Well…" Nino rubbed the back of his head.

"Well what? What reason did Marinette give you to doubt her?"

Nino winced. "…I can't really tell you…it's not my place, and Alya will kill me."

Plagg threw his arms up in the air with a groan, nearly splashing coffee on his crop top. "Is there no communication with you people!? Just talk! Enough with the secrets!"

Nino blinked. "Uh…what other secrets are you talking about?"

Plagg shook his head, realizing he'd spilt a few beans. And some things really did need to remain secret. "Ugh, whatever. Doesn't matter. You just…spill!"

"No way dude! Marinette's my friend, and I won't tell her secrets without her permission!"

Plagg rested a hand on his shoulder. "You're a good dude, you know?"

"Oh so now it's a good thing that I'm hiding stuff from you? Pick a mood."

Instead, Plagg took a sip from his coffee. Having a human tongue again was so weird. It was a complexed organ with equal taste buds, instead of the 'smelly savory' he was used to as a kwami.

And if Adrien didn't like cheese, it wouldn't be likely that Plagg would still enjoy it in his body. His eyes glanced around the entrance of the school, taking notice of all the people who were side-eyeing him. Nearly everyone had their attention on him and Nino, though they were trying to be sneaky about it.

Humans were so funny.

And then he noticed Marinette approaching. She looked awful. Big bags under her eyes, dragging her feet, slouched shoulders. The look of a guardian who was downtrodden and exhausted.

"Hey Nino, wanna see something hilarious?"

"Absolutely."

"Here, hold this." He handed him his coffee. Then he tighten the sleeves of the flannel around his waist and ran full speed at Marinette, his arms out at his sides. "MAAAARRRRIIIINNEEETTTEEE!" He shouted.

Hearing her name being shouted startled the poor girl, and she seized up, holding her arms to her chest. Plagg collided with her, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug and lifting to spin her around several times.

"Ad-d-d-rrrriiieennn!" She exclaimed, as she was rag dolled around.

Finally, he set her back on her feet and patted her on the head. "Sorry, you looked like you needed an extreme hug."

A big smile emerged on her face, accompanied by a very endearing blush. "Thanks Adrien. I did! I feel better now!"

Plagg knew it would take more than an intense hug to fix everything on Marinette's plate. There was likely more bothering her than just the loss of Master Fu, too. But he was out to fix Adrien's problems, not hers. But hopefully, one of his problems would directly help her.

"Um…" Marinette started, looking him up and down. "Your father let you out of the house like that?"

"Oh, absolutely not. I snuck out."

"Adrien!" She gawked.

"It'll be fine." He waved her off.

Alya approached them, her jaw on the floor. "Adrien, what was that?"

Nino was just a step behind her, giggling.

"Have you never seen an epic hug before? Nino, you need to step up your game."

"I guess I do!" Nino chuckled. "Here's your coffee back, dude."

"Thanks." Plagg took the coffee with one hand while the other stayed firmly over Marinette's shoulder.

"You're being kind of friendly with Marinette this morning, aren't you?"

Plagg shrugged. "I just happen to think her shoulder is a really nice arm rest."

"Did you ask her permission?"

"Oh, you know, I didn't. Can I put my arm around you, Marinette?"

Marinette's giant panicked grin and a high pitch squeal was the only response he got.

"I'll take that as a yes." He squeezed her.

"Oh!" Alya chirped, taking out her phone. "Lila had an akuma in her room last night! Ladybug and Chat Noir stayed afterwards and hung out with her afterwards to make sure she was okay! She gave me this interview for my blog—"

"FAKE NEWS!" Plagg shouted, startling everyone around him. Alya almost dropped her phone.

"What?" She asked.

"I said, Fake News. There was no akuma last night."

"How do you know?" Alya got defensive. "The akuma alarm only goes off when someone sees the akuma. It happened so late last night, that no one was awake."

"I have an akuma sixth sense." Plagg explained, ignoring Adrien pinching his thigh inside his shirt. "But besides that, Lila is a big, bold-faced liar."

Alya sighed, rolling her eyes. "I expect that from Marinette, but you too now?"

"I've always known Lila was a liar, but I tried to play nice because she's super destructive when she wants to be. Just look at what she did to Marinette!"

Alya gave Marinette a once over, looking for injuries. "I don't follow."

Plagg huffed. "The expulsion? Surely you're not dumb enough to believe that Lila has some sort of disease that makes her…what did she say? Periodically lie? Misremember? I can't even remember what she said, but she revoked her evidence to get Marinette back into school."

Alya frowned. "She told me she was taking the heat for whoever this real person is. Someone wanted Marinette out of school, and Lila retracted her evidence because she knows Marinette wouldn't do that stuff."

Plagg blew a loud raspberry at her, making spittle fly into her face. "Of course she told you that, because she can't possibly be seen as the villain."

"What are you getting at, Adrien?"

"I'm the reason Lila retracted her evidence. She targeted Marinette. She's been targeting Marinette. I gave her an ultimatum. She could stop lying about Marinette, or I would retract our supposed 'friendship' and get her removed from modeling with me."

Alya and Nino just blinked at him several times, before Alya shouted, "WHAT?!"

"Yeah, like I said, I didn't say anything because I didn't want her to get akumatized, she may have turned on me, and I assumed eventually she'd lie herself into a hole and everyone would figure her out. But I guess everyone is denser than I expected."

"Harsh, bro."

"Nah. You'll thank me for this. Especially you, Alya. You want a reputable blog, right? What am I saying? You, of course, double check all of your sources! And if someone makes any outlandish claims that could get someone in trouble, you don't just post them willy-nilly. That's why I like you, Alya, you're discerning and thorough!"

Alya opened her mouth to retort, but shut it right after. "Yeah. Thanks." She finally said.

Marinette groaned. "Here comes the devil herself."

Lila sashayed up to the group, wrapping her arms around Plagg and yanking him free from Marinette. "Adrien! It's so good to see you this morning! I had such a fun time at the shoot—"

Plagg didn't let her finish before he forcefully ripped himself out of her grasp. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

His shout drew attention from everyone else around.

Lila laughed it off awkwardly. "Oh Adrien, you scared me! I'm not going to hurt you." And she reached for him again.

But Plagg danced away from her, behind Marinette and shouted. "HEY DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! THIS IS MY NO-NO SQUARE!"

Marinette was the only one that laughed, but it was mostly just a choked snort.

"What are you talking about?" Lila asked, pouting, "I wasn't touching you anywhere bad."

"R-A-P-E! GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM ME!"

"I think maybe you should keep your hands to yourself," Marinette said gently.

The flittering rage on Lila's face went ignored by Alya and Nino. "I'm not sure what's going on. Adrien's just being kind of goofy today."

"I agree," said Nino. "You break out of your house, now this? This is more than not being a doormat."

Plagg realized he may have taken things a bit too far too fast, and that his cover was in danger of being blown.

"Well! Would you look at the time! I gotta piss! See you in class!" And he took off running into the school.

Being inside a pocket meant that he didn't always see what direction Adrien went. But the bathroom was easy enough to find once he double backed on himself.

Thankfully, the bathroom was empty. And Adrien emerged the second the stall closed. "What did I say!? You wouldn't last five minutes! Everyone is suspicious of you! And what was that thing with Marinette? I thought you were going to fix my problems with Ladybug!"

Plagg held up his hands in defense. "Relax. I just got a little ahead of myself. You know, taking advantage of the situation?"

"What situation?"

"Alya brought up Lila, not me! I couldn't pretend to care! I can't even pretend to care about your problems and I love you!"

"Aw, Plagg. You love me?"

"That's what you got out of that?"

"I knew you were a big softy."

"You know who's actually soft? You." He poked his stomach. "That's what's got you in the situation in the first place!"

"Um, I'd argue it was your trickery."

"So you're soft and gullible. Got it."

"Hey!"

"Like I said last night, kid: You've only been on this planet for 15 years, and social for one. You're bound to be a little naïve. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Tikki would say it's honorable."

"And what would you call it?"

Plagg put a finger to his mouth in mock thought. "Unfortunate."

Adrien sighed, losing altitude. "You still didn't answer my question about Marinette."

"Trust me, getting cosy with Marinette is the key to solving your Ladybug trouble."

"You better not flirt with her! I don't like her that way, and I don't want to break her heart."

"You say that now…"

The bathroom door opened, so Plagg was quick to usher Adrien back into the pocket. "I'll roll it back a little, happy?"

"Not in the slightest."

—

Plagg appeared in the classroom just in time for class to start.

"YO, WHAT IS UP MY DUDES!?" He called, walking into the room with a beat in his step.

The scoff from his pocket went unnoticed by everyone else.

"Adrien, you know I'm not a fan of yelling in my classroom." Miss Bustier warned, patiently.

"Sorry Teach."

"And your outfit is outside of the dress code. Do you have something that covers your mid-drift?"

"No problems there, baby." He untied the flannel from around his waist, and slipped it over his shoulders, then buttoned the bottom few buttons, unaligned. "There, Gucci right?"

She raised an eyebrow, "And the sunglasses?"

"Sorry teach, I've got a major migraine and, low-key, kind of want to die. Glasses stay on, or I will cry."

Miss Bustier just sighed. "As long as you're not disrupting my class, I suppose that's fine."

"Sick." And he slid into his desk, propping his shoes up on the table.

"Sit in your chair like a normal person, please."

Plagg had to glance around to see how everyone else was sitting before he corrected his posture.

Now that he was wearing the flannel, it was a lot less comfortable for Adrien to be in the pocket. He poked and prodded at Plagg's chest to be moved. Thankfully, Plagg had mercy on him and scooped him from his pocket and deposited him into his bag.

From the bag, Adrien tried to watch Plagg, but he seemed to settle down once Miss Bustier started the lesson. Was he even taking notes?

"Plagg!" A sharp hiss came from his side, before a red kwami appeared.

"Tikki?" He choked.

"What the heck is going on with your holder?! He's acting really really weird!"

"Um…"

"My holder is worried about him!"

"She is? She saw all that?"

Tikki huffed. "How could she not?! She's right there!" And she made the fatal mistake of pointing at Marinette.

In hindsight, it was pretty obvious. He had guessed before, and he had hunches, but she had very cleverly removed herself from suspicion during Kwami Buster with Multimouse.

"Oh…that's why he said buttering up to Marinette would solve my Ladybug problem."

Tikki frowned. "What are you talking about? Who said what?"

Adrien awkwardly scratched his ear. "Heh…it seems there's been a tiny mix up. I'm not—" but a bunch of bubbles came out of his mouth. "Ugh. I'm Adrien."

Tikki's eyes grew impossibly large. "YOU'RE—" she grabbed him and yanked him down, phasing into the steps below.

It was an odd sensation, one that he didn't get to think about before Tikki was yelling at him. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE ADRIEN?! You're supposed to be Plagg! And only Plagg!"

"I don't know! It all happened so fast! Last night we had an argument about my problems and he said it wasn't that big of a deal and I said he wouldn't be able to handle it and he said he'd fix it right away and then he made some pact and then I woke up like this and he was like that and I don't know what to do!"

"Okay, first, take a breath." She instructed, calmly.

He did so, taking another, and another, "okay...okay...I'm calm."

"Okay. Good. Now, what were the conditions of the pact?"

"I...I'm not sure? He said he was going to fix three big problems of mine."

"Which are?"

"Repairing my relationship with my father."

"Yikes. Okay, and?"

"Getting Lila to stop bothering me."

"Okay, what else?"

"And get Ladybug to love me back."

"That dirty rotten cheater!" She scowled.

"What?"

"Ugh," she rubbed her nubs over her head. "Promise you won't get mad?"

"Um...sure."

"Plagg and I both knew how you felt about..her. We had a running bet who would fall for who first, Adrien for Marinette, or Ladybug for Chat Noir."

He frowned at her. "I thought you were the mature one."

"I am. But I'm also thousands of years old. Teenager's love lives are like…corny TV shows for me. Besides, we're not supposed to meddle in the affairs of the human world." She glanced up towards the stairs, where Plagg was sitting on the other side.

"Does he do this a lot?"

"Not every wielder, but many."

"And…does it always work out?"

She was quiet a long time. "More often than not."

"But he has failed before?"

"There was one time where the contract was too difficult and he and his holder switched bodies until the holder's body died. At which point, Plagg's consciousness expelled the human's soul from the kwami's body and they perished."

"Jesus actual Christ."

"No, it wasn't him. Nice guy though! Very wise!"

"That's not what I—" He sighed. "Look, is there anyway to undo this? He's ruining so much!"

"I'm really sorry Adrien, but the only way to get switched back into your body is to complete the pact."

Adrien growled. "He could have at least given me a heads up! He just said he'd 'handle it'. I didn't know we'd switch bodies!" He slammed his paws into his face.

"Look, I'll tell Marinette as soon as possible, maybe she'll know what to do."

"No! Tikki you can't tell her!"

"I have too. As guardian, she must be aware of all the shenanigans that the Kwami's are getting into. She has to know about this."

"But she can't!" He begged. "This is all my fault! I was naïve and dumb and I didn't think things through—" He moaned. "She's going to be so disappointed with me!"

Tikki poked him hard. "Adrien. This is not your fault! This is Plagg's doing. He's tricky, and can be very selfish sometimes. She can't blame you."

"Please Tikki, I know she's going to figure me out sooner or later. Plagg's doing a really bad job."

"I'll say."

"But when that happens, I'll come clean and explain everything myself. But until then, can you just…pretend like nothing is wrong?"

Tikki sighed. "I hate keeping secrets from her. But, fine. Since you asked so nicely. Maybe you'll get your body switched back before she suspects."

He winced. "Ugh, except one of the conditions of the pact is to get Ladybug to fall in love with me. And if he's trying to get Lady-nette to fall in love with him, then if we switch back, she'll be in love with Plagg-me and not me-me!"

"Um…I don't think that's going to be a problem…"

"Wait, what?"

"You remember that TV show where they went into her room and your photos were everywhere?"

"She said she just liked fashion…and she promised she wasn't lying…"

"It was a half truth, at least. She does like fashion, and you are her favorite model. But…that other boy she keeps rejecting Chat for? That's you."

If a blush could be seen on black fur, he'd be the same color as Tikki. "What? Really? How come she never told me!?"

"Oh, she tried. Remember when you brought her medicine back from England?"

"Yeah?"

"That prescription she gave you was for Master Fu. She gave the pharmacist the love letter she was supposed to give you after you got on the train."

"Oh no!"

"The wax statue incident? That was her practicing. That beret from a 'brazilian fan'? That was from her. That blue scarf your father got you for your birthday? That was also from her. She's tried, Adrien. But she's either chickened out, or something's gone horrendously wrong."

"Oh Marinette…" His ears went flat, his heart breaking for her. "All this time?"

"Since you gave her your umbrella in the rain when you first met."

"Oh no! That long!? My poor lady!"

"And she's been trying to get over you since she thinks you're in love with Kagami. So I'm assuming Plagg's trying to convince her that you like her instead."

Since he awoke in this strange little useless body, Adrien was pissed at Plagg. But now he was beginning to realize how big of a favor this was. How close he had been to losing her, and hopefully it wasn't too late.

Still sucked though.

"Oh god…he's going to have to talk to Kagami too! I don't know if I can bear to watch this!"

"Well, you don't really have a choice. And you stand a pretty good chance of getting your body back soon. I…think Plagg knows what he's doing."

"You think?"

"I hope."

"Ugh…"

"Look, if you need help, you know where to find me. I'll be in my holder's bag here at school. Though, today, unless there's an akuma, I'll sit with you in your bag and tell you whatever you need to know about being a Kwami."

"Oh yeah! How is superheroing going to work? How do I transform?"

"It'll probably be the same. He'll say your name instead of his own. Then you'll get to see what he sees and hear what he hears. Cataclysm draws from this body's form, so he'll call on it when he needs it, as well as your other powers."

"Other powers?"

"Sure. There's more than just Cataclysm. But I'm sure he's waiting to teach you them until you're ready."

"To be honest...he never really taught me Cata—"

Tikki was quick to slap a paw over his mouth. "DON'T SAY IT!"

"Oh, is it like transformed rules? You say it, you activate it?"

"Yes, but in this form it's incredibly powerful, and you don't know how to dismiss it! You activate it and bump into something, and you nuke Paris! That is a forbidden word!"

"Okay! I'll take your word for it."

"We should probably get back up top, no telling what trouble Plagg's gotten into already."

"But we're in class. He should just be sitting there."

"You're underestimating Plagg's attention span."

Phasing back up through the floor and into Adrien's bag, they could hear Adrien's voice.

"...and of course you're not even going to talk about the ramifications of Phillip the V's denial of his niece on the throne."

"Louis X's daughter? She never took the french throne."

"Oh, yes she did! She held it for 6 years in 1316, Phillip only recanted her name after her rule was revoked. Furthermore, after she died, her legitimacy as Louis' blood relative was called into question. Her mother was branded as an adulterer."

Miss Bustier hummed. "I never heard of this. Where did you read this, Adrien?"

"Oh I didn't read it, I saw it—in a documentary! That's right! On the Hundred Year War! That's right!"

"You'll have to tell me what that documentary is, I'm very interested to see that! But you were saying something about Louis X's daughter on the throne?"

Adrien had to refrain from smacking himself in the face. Not 15 minutes into class, and Plagg was already rewriting history.

Had they even gotten to the Hundred Years War?

A knock saved Adrien from second hand embarrassment.

"Come in," called Miss Bustier.

Adrien couldn't see who was at the door, but they were being silent.

"Um…can I help you?"

There was a grunt.

"You're here for Adrien?"

Adrien, in kwami form, peered out ever so carefully from his bag, only to see the Gorilla standing in the front of the room.

Uh oh.

"...hey big guy..." Plagg tried to greet as enthusiastically as he could.

Another grunt, and the Gorilla motioned towards the door with his head.

"Sorry, but I'm in the middle of class. We were just discussing the conditions that led up to the Hundred Years War. I know dad's pissed that I left this morning, but I'll be home after school..."

The Gorilla shook his head and started to advance on him, his hands open and making to grab him.

Plagg however, was not above evasive maneuvers. He hopped up on the desk.

"You'll never take me alive!"

The Gorilla never stopped advancing and shot his arms out to grab Plagg by the waist.

But Plagg leapt from the table and landed on the Gorilla's shoulders, riding him like a bull.

The Gorilla swung around, flailing his arms trying to dislodge Plagg from where he was mounted, but Plagg dug his heels in and held fast.

"YEEEEEEEEEE—HAW!"

The Gorilla bucked and swung, making Plagg rag doll around, but he still would not let go!

Finally, starting to get dizzy, Plagg twisted in place and pinched the bodyguard in a particular place on the shoulder, and he dropped like a sack of potatoes, unconscious, on the floor.

Plagg simply climbed off of him, dusted himself off, and took his seat. "Now...where were we?"

"Principal's office. Now."